IVF on the Down Low

As I am sure a lot of you understand there is that feeling of “but what happened to the other one?”  But we are overjoyed and much more ready for 1 baby.  The baby was measuring 6w6d.  No one seemed concerned about it being a tad behind.  We not only got to see the HB, we also got to hear it!  That I wasn’t expecting it and it was the most amazing thing ever.  It’s little heart was flickering at 133 bpm.  The doctor said that I could quit with the progesterone, but since I’m such a nervous wreck, they are going to test my levels first.  They can’t do that while I’m on the endometrin, so they placed an order for yet another kind of progesterone (it’s a shot but not PIO).  I will switch to that on Monday so that they can draw my blood on Tuesday.  If all is good, no more progesterone (scary).

And kind of a funny from today.  DH got to hold the wand (that’s right, the dildo cam) because the tech ran out of paper to print, LOL.  He looked a little surprised when she said “can you hold this for a second?”

Here’s baby’s second pic:

So today marks 7 weeks.  New pic time!  You’ll notice 2 things in the pic.  First, I don’t look very happy.  That would be because I feel like crap.  Second, I am really bloated!  It’s way too soon to be sporting a bump, but my clothes are definitely getting uncomfortable.

Just for reference, here’ the pics from one week ago:

Eeek!  What a difference a week makes.  So what happens during week 7?  Well according to www.thebump.com:

Baby’s brain — both hemispheres! — is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby’s third!) is now in place.

And from www.babycenter.com:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you’re daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that’s the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you’d spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby’s brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby’s growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

Even though the idea of twins scares me in so many ways, I think I would be a bit sad if we went in on Thursday and there was only 1.  I’ve seen both of our embies and I’ve imagined both of them growing and only seeing one flourish would feel a bit like a loss.  It should be impossible to get so attached to a mass of cells but it’s not.  Both of those embies were/are our babies.

Of course, I would be overjoyed to see 1 baby growing like it should.  To see one heartbeat.  But I would still miss our other baby.

Just trying to figure out this crazy thing called pregnancy.  Pregnancy is confusing.  All of a sudden you can’t eat whatever you want (not that I could before) or do whatever you want.  Every bite you take leads to the thought “should I be eating this?”

So here’s what I’ve learned so far about pregnancy dos/don’ts.

Just say no to:
Deli meat (unless heated to steaming)
Sushi (at least the raw kind)
Alcohol (well a sip here and there won’t hurt anything, but be sure to do this at home if visibly PG)
Caffeine (fine in moderation)

Jury’s still out on:
Artificial sweetners
Decaf coffee (most decaf coffees are decaffeinated using chemicals)
Herbal teas (some are fine, some are no-nos)

In general, good old healthy eating is what is called for during pregnancy.  Lots of fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins.  Calcium is especially important.

It turns out the massage is fine, even in the first tri as long as you are using a qualified practitioner (I did quite a bit of googling on this one).  A lot of spas/chains won’t do it in the first tri due to liability issues but there is absolutely no link between massage and miscarriage.  Now if only I weren’t spending all my money on acupuncture!

Exercise is fine, in fact it’s encouraged.  Too bad I’m on IVF exercise restrictions still!  I could use a nice jog.  Being active is a good thing while pregnant.  That means that it’s still ok to do a lot of your normal stuff – house work, yard work, etc.  Just be careful and clean in a well ventilated area and stay away from pesticides.

Other than that I’ve learned that pregnancy makes you tired.  Yawn.  Now if I can remember all that with this crazy forgetfulness that comes with being PG, I’ll be doing good.

Until we find out.  How many do you think are in there?

A little catching up needs to be done on the old blog.  First, we told my parents and sister about the BFP on Valentine’s Day.  My sister happened to be staying with my parents because she was leaving the country on the 15th.  We told them that we would be in town visiting some friends and that we would stop by on our way out of town. They never suspected it was a lie (quite an accomplishment for me!).  We did something simple.  We just ran to Target and got a couple of bibs that said “I love my Grandma” and “I love my Grandpa”.  I wrapped them separately and then told them that they needed to open them at the same time.  I think they were happy…

And since we’re getting close to 6 weeks I thought I’d post my first “belly” pic.  Well I don’t have a belly yet (aside from some PG bloat), but you’ve got to have a starting point, right?

And an update on how things are going.  I’ve been spotting.  Not a lot.  It’s very light and brown (which is good).  It was light enough that I wasn’t going to call the RE, but yesterday I finally had to.  They weren’t terribly concerned about it.  They just said to keep an eye on it and call if anything changes.  I’m supposed to take it easy and we are no longer allowed to have sex.  Boo.  Already today I have had 0 spotting, so maybe it’ll stop happening.  Me being the neurotic person I’ve become I called again today and talked my way into an earlier ultrasound.  I just need to see that everything is really ok.  And I’d like to know whether there’s one or two in there!  So the u/s is now scheduled for February 26th.  I’ll be 7w1d.

My symptoms so far?  Pretty minimal.  I’ve had a metallic taste off and on.  Occasional bouts of nauseua (like this morning).  Sometimes I get really, really hungry.  I feel like I’m losing my mind – is baby brain supposed to kick in so fast?

And since we’re so close to 6 weeks, here’s what baby’s up to according to www.thebump.com:

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week’s end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

And that makes me happy. Only an IFer would hope to feel like crap. I have felt slightly nauseous since last night, I have a headache and I’m exhausted. Woohoo for feeling something that *might* be related to pregnancy. I also woke up super early this morning and couldn’t fall back asleep because I was starving.

Doesn’t it seem like after struggling with IF, after working so hard for the elusive BFP that finally everything should be easy? Maybe even perfect? It just isn’t fair that after going through the struggle things still don’t work out as planned.

My thoughts and prayers are with Kerry today. Her water broke this morning at just a little over 30 weeks pregnant. I pray that everything goes as smoothly as possible and that her little boys arrive safe and sound.

I’ve spent the last 2 years of my life trying to get here and now I don’t really know what to do.  Seems like I should have had plenty of time to plan but I spent all of that time trying not to think about being pregnant.  So now, here I am.  I have no idea what I want.  Do I want a natural birth?  I have no idea.  I’ve never really thought about it.  And it seems like I need to know what kind of birth experience I want even though all of that is so far away because I want to make sure I am with the “right” doctor.

Even though I feel like I should know all this stuff about what I want for the birth of our child I also feel like I’m not ready to think about it.  It still doesn’t feel real and it could all still end.  I don’t feel pregnant.  We have not had an ultrasound.  I am spotting off and on (only a little bit, but still).

So, I feel like I need to be prepared so that when we are released to an OB I know where to go and yet that defense mechanism is still kicking in telling me not to think about it, this still might not be our happy ending.

I am still not allowed to really exercise.  I am, however, allowed to walk and swim.  But, I haven’t even been doing that.  It just doesn’t seem like “real” exercise.  But is something and something is better than nothing.  So I resolve to at least start doing what I am allowed to do.  I’m sure that I will feel better about myself if I do.