A little diversion for me.

We all need a distraction from our life when it comes to our addicts. I have been very distracted for the last couple of hours. My distraction still brought me here so maybe I can get this anger that the distraction has caused out of my system. My daughter has never really caused us any problems. Not even during her teenage years. I'm always hearing mothers talk about how their teenage daughters cause them so much grief. We've never had that issue. Well there was that one time when she decided to smart off and I popped her in the mouth. So once! She's 28, has worked the same full time job for many years. Actually she has worked for me all this time. She started dating this guy in May. I'm not very fond of him but she is a grown woman and she doesn't live with me so I can't say anything about it. I've let her live her life. He has 4 kids that his mother has custody of. Babies momma lost custody and he wasn't ready to step up to the plate apparently. Hell that boy will never be ready to step up. He hasn't held a job. He got another job 2 weeks ago, he's already quit. The house they are renting has a lot of problems. The landlord took out the septic tank and never replaced it. Just left a hole in the ground among other things. They only paid half of Octobers rent. Told the landlord they weren't going to give him anymore money and that they would be out in 30 days. He gave them 7 to get out. They are now moving their stuff into storage. Oh and did I mention that when they moved into this house that babies momma moved in with them? Yeah, don't even get me started on that. My daughter was the only one working. OK I got started on it. My daughter has been on her own for several years now. She'd never been late with rent. I cosigned her car loan and not once felt the need to ask her if she was making her payments. She made the final payment a few months ago. How did they get behind on rent. I don't get it!! They are now basically homeless. They don't know where they are going to stay. They haven't asked me if they can stay here and I won't offer. Today my daughter comes in for her shift at 12, around 12:30 I'm heading out the door to get somethings done and she informs me that they got married this morning. DISTRACTION!!! When the fuck did my family become so dysfunctional?

And then, some more of the story.

I'll probably never be able to use Paul Harvey's line, "And now for the rest of the story". I don't think our story ever ends!
When I found Aaron had broke into the garage my husband was in Wyoming. I was here by myself to deal with putting my dog down and Aaron once again stealing from us alone. I chose not to call the police and I justify my choice with the excuse " I had to take my dog to the vet". Yes, I am completely aware that it was a complete cop out (no pun intended). I know what I should have done. I didn't do it. I couldn't do it. I thought I would be able to if I ever needed to but when it came right down to it, well. No sense in beating a dead horse now.
This was on a Tuesday and Saturday I sent Aaron a text asking about my husbands stuff. He was supposed to have gotten it out of pawn on Friday. He said he would bring as soon as he could. He came by a couple of hours later with seven fishing poles. I had company at the time so there wasn't any talking. A quick I love you before he left.

I didn't talk or text with Aaron again for a week when I sent him this text.

It's taken awhile but I'm finally ready to say my piece. I don't think you realize exactly what you have caused this time. You sent me texts asking about pappaw and in that conversation you find out about spirit and offered to dig the hole. When I went to get the shovel I find that you have broken into the garage. You know how the rest of our conversation went that day. As the day went on it became apparent that you only asked about pappaw to find out why I was home. Offering to dig the hole gave you an excuse to come back to the house to take some more. You had a hidden agenda during the whole conversation. It makes me feel extremely betrayed by you. Any conversations we have from this point on I will always question if you have ulterior motives. I feel that I'll never be able to tell you any plans I have for fear that you take our absence from the house as permission to steal again. You have hurt my heart before but this time you hurt my soul. You are once again heading down a dark path. It's one that we can't follow you on. As long as you are on this path we cannot and will not help you. We have stood behind you many times but right now we have to step back and let you find your way back. You know its only a matter of time before Morgan knows what is going on. You are fooling yourself thinking you have a good relationship with her. Considering what you are hiding from her right now. You are trying to build a relationship on your dishonesty. We also know you are not having money problems because you're paying your bills. Between the phone calls and knocks on our door from the people you owe, we know your not paying the bills. I hope you find your way back soon. And as always I love you.

This was Aaron's reply

I don't even really know what to say. But a lot of stuff your thinking is wrong. I'm sorry. Hopefully one day things will be back to normal. I called homecrafters today and I'm picking up the window tomorrow. I love you too.

I asked him to set me straight on what I was wrong on. I never received a reply.

To answer the question asked in the comments on my last post.... They steal from us because history has taught them we won't call the police. My opinion anyway!

And then...

I decided Tuesday morning it was time to let go of my little dog Spirit. She was 12 years old, completely blind, had a brain injury and just no longer seemed happy. I made an appointment for 10:30 at the vets office. Around 8:30 Aaron sent me a text asking about something so I told him what I had planned. He asked what time I was going and we planned that I would let him know when I was on my home and he would come out to the house and dig a hole for me to bury her. Since I didn't want Aaron in the garage I thought it was best to go ahead and get the shovel out before I left. On my way back through the garage I felt a strong breeze hit me. It was windy outside but I knew I shouldn't be feeling this breeze. I found a window broken. The glass on the inside. This window is two panes of glass. One pane is fixed, the other slides to the left to open. The one that was broke is the one that slides. The frame for the glass was also gone. I went outside to that side of the garage and found a 5 gallon bucket turned over right under the window. I also found a small pry bar laying on the ground. Taking a quick look around the garage I couldn't find anything missing but my husband is such a pack rat (hoarder) it would be hard to tell anyway. In a hurry because of the dog, I wedged a piece of plywood into the window and propped it up with a steel bar. At the very least I figured somebody could still get in but I would notice if the wood and bar were out of place. I went back outside to the window, used a black marker and wrote on the wood YOU'RE BUSTED. Aaron started calling me while I was in the vets office. I didn't answer. On my way home he sent a text that said he was sorry he didn't mean for the window to get broke. I replied back with what did you take. A few of my husbands fishing poles, he has pawned them. There's more to the story but that's it in a nutshell.

Where we stand

I am currently standing on the ground looking down a 100' well while Aaron stands at the bottom of it.

He quit his job with the coal mine contractor due to not working steady. Went back to landscaping. Has now quit landscaping and has gone to a company that has him back in the mines working steady. He has passed several drug tests. Even the random one they threw at him. All sounds great doesn't it? The calls keep coming from bill collectors. They were even coming to my house looking for him. They seemed to have trouble understanding the words, he doesn't live here, until I finally got shitty with them. All of his mail still comes to our house. He needs to change that. This morning, my husband brings me a piece of mail addressed to Aaron. It's from a pawn shop. He said he didn't know if I wanted to look at it or not. I didn't want to. I said I would think about it. So of course I opened it. Yes, I know that I shouldn't have but I had to see if it was something of ours that we haven't missed yet. He has pawned a rifle. I don't know who it belongs to but I know it's not ours and I know it's not Aarons. I can only believe that it is stolen. Aaron is a convicted felon. He cannot be in possession of a firearm. Even tho it is technically at a pawn shop he can still go to jail for possession of it.

I have been working really hard with the phrase "not my circus, not my monkeys". I say it often. Trying my best to stay out of it. It's extremely difficult to stay out of it when the monkey is my son.

Whoomp there it is!!

A bill, from an emergency room, in Pennsylvania. Aaron's next stop is St Louis, Missouri! New bill to come soon! Aaron has also not payed his truck payment in 3 months. That means he hasn't made one payment since he got it. Doesn't look like he is going to quite digging his hole anytime soon.

I've not had to much trouble letting it go but there is an issue I'm struggling with. So my wise peeps please give me your advise. Aaron has been staying with his girlfriend and her father for quite some time. I don't think they have a clue as to what is going on. Do I tell them? Do I tell Aaron he has a week to tell them or I will? OR, do I stay out of it and let him continue to dig his hole? My gut tells me to stay out of it. My heart tells me to tell her dad before (hopefully before) Aaron starts stealing from him.

Confidence fades away

Shortly after my last post and comment about being confident Aaron wasn't using, I discovered some things that changed my level of confidence greatly. Aaron traveled to Colorado recently for work. He went to a doctor in Colorado. Aaron traveled to Indiana for work. He went to a doctor in Indiana. Aaron traveled again to Indiana for work. He went to a doctor just across the state line in Illinois. Aaron has recently traveled to Pennsylvania for work. I'm expecting to see another bill from a doctor. Aaron is not paying his bills. He has taken out two small loans. He isn't paying those either! If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well, it's not a bear! I told him what I know and what I think. He won't admit to anything of course. The locks have been changed. We are once again on the roller coaster. I should say he is on the roller coaster. I'm working hard to stay off of it this time. I am however still digging out from under the ton of bricks that fell on me!

Missing

From our home, one ring, one cross bow, one compound bow. Aaron denies the ring. Both bows are in a pawn shop. He says he's clean. I don't know what to feel today. Trying to hold it together!

Completely unrelated

I have added a new link to my page. Completely unrelated to Aaron, addiction, or being a POA.
This man (my oldest son) needs help. Please share so he can get the donations he needs to pay for oral surgery. More info can be found thru the link. Any help will be greatly appreciated! If you have any questions please feel free to contact me!!!

Please help Shane

Seriously? Did you not hear me?

I'm not sure what has been going on lately with me, but I find myself being irritated easily. It could be the full moon coming up. It could be I'm becoming less tolerant of stupid. Whatever it is I think I have handled myself quite well considering how much stupid I have dealt with this week. I won't bore you with all the stupid. Just one piece of stupid. 

Wednesday at work (I manage a tobacco store) I received a phone call, the following is the conversation I had... 

me: Joe Schmoo tobacco mart (ok I made up the Joe Schmoo part, tobacco mart is true)

caller: I'm needing to speak to the person in charge of advertising.

me: That would be me.

caller: Hi, I'm so and so from (kinda garbled not sure I heard right) and we are getting ready to put out our new magazine and we're looking for advertisers. (did she really say what I think she said)

me: I'm sorry, who did you say you were with?

caller: The Kentucky DARE association (I heard right)

me: Oh OK. Uhm, who exactly receives this magazine? The parents or the school children?

caller: The children

me: So do you think it's appropriate for a tobacco store to advertise in a magazine that will be passed out to school children?

caller: Well ma'am you don't have to if you don't want to.

me: I don't believe this has anything to do with wanting to or not. Do you think you should be calling tobacco stores asking them to advertise in a magazine that will be passed out to school children?

caller: We are calling everybody.

me: I think you might want to rethink calling everybody!

The caller then abruptly says thank you, have a nice day and hangs up before I can continue!

I"m still not sure what part of "tobacco store" she did not understand?!?!

I wonder how far I could have gotten trying to advertise a coupon for $2 off a carton of cigarettes? 

Almost a year and the effects on my POA brain!

We are about two weeks shy of the one year mark. A year since I picked up Aaron from jail. A jail stay that was two months shy of two years. Such a peaceful time! I knew where he was. I had to assume he was clean and sober. I didn't have to lock everything up. I didn't count the guns, I didn't check the camera bag, I didn't take my purse to my bedroom and I didn't keep my bedroom door locked at all times! Guess what? I still don't!! Except for keeping my bedroom door locked at all times because I have a convicted felon in my home and that's where we keep the guns. However, a couple of weeks ago my heart fell to my stomach when I realized something was out of place. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just sitting here in my chair with my laptop on my lap. I suddenly realized something was missing. It took a second for me to figure out what was missing. The WII. Where the hell is my WII?  I don't think I have to tell you what my first thought was. My second thought was he probably took it to his girlfriends house so they could play it but I didn't believe that to be true!!

For years the WII has sat just to the left of the clock on the TV stand.

So I closed the laptop, and grabbed my phone to text Aaron. 

 And this is what I saw!

See what "I" had done with the WII!!! I bought that stand for the WII a couple of months ago. The boy fried my brain with his drugs!!!

OK, you can stop laughing now!!