Olsen Westward Expansion: Finale Edition

Day 7: Jackson Hole, WY to Logan, UT (aka the finish line)

Total Distance: 199 miles, 3,001.8 miles for the entire trip
Total Vomits: 0 (we did it!)
Total "Dad Moments" where I lost my patience and became the Herm of my childhood: 2
Total Speeding/Traffic Tickets: 0 (Didn't want to post this one until the end of the trip so as not to tempt fate—we did it!)
License Plate Challenge: 48/51 (still missing Delaware, Vermont, and Hawaii)
Listened to: 

• Music: Punch Brothers, Coconut Records, John Denver, Brandon Flowers, Tom Petty, Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers, I'm With Her, Led Zeppelin
• Podcast: n/a
• Audiobook: A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Day 7 Highlights:

We woke up in the shadows of the Teton mountains with a realization that it was our last day on the road. And, in addition to that, we had the shortest drive of all 7 days ahead of us. We figured these two factors were cause for celebration, so we went to a restaurant for breakfast, something we hadn't done all week. Prior to this, breakfast had been granola bars or cereal eaten while peeling out of a hotel parking lot.

After a delicious breakfast at The Bunnery and a walk around Town Square in Jackson Hole, we started our 200-mile journey to Cache Valley, Utah. We were soon at Bear Lake, a turquoise lake that pops against the brown mountains that surround it. Bear Lake has been been called the "Caribbean of the Rockies," and it's not hard to see why. It's also home to LaBeau's, a local burger joint that I grew up on. Their famous raspberry milkshake tasted like home.

Our final stop on this epic journey may have been the best of them all. In Logan Canyon, just 30 minutes from Logan, is a place called Tony Grove. High up in the canyon and away from all the highway traffic, it has a beautiful lake, a rainbow's assortment of aromatic wildflowers, and hikes that take you up against cliffs and snow. We decided to hike around the lake, and it may have been our favorite hike of the trip. I'd put Tony Grove up against any National or State Park we have ever visited.

After Tony Grove, there was little separating us from our finish line. Within 30 minutes, we had pulled into my parent's house in Logan. The odometer read 3,001.8 miles. From our doorstep to theirs, we had made it. We reconnected with family, and Valencia and Cache were in heaven. So were we. It was a perfect evening surrounded by the beauty of Cache Valley, the idyllic place of my childhood, and the most rewarding, beautiful finish line we could ask for.

Olsen Westward Expansion: Day 6

Day 6: Casper, WY to Jackson Hole, WY

Total Distance: 447 Miles
Total Vomits: 0
Total "Dad Moments" where I lost my patience and became the Herm of my childhood: 2
License Plate Challenge: 48/51 (only missing Delaware, Vermont, and Hawaii)
Listened to: 

• Music: Silversun Pickups, The Mowgli's, Arcade Fire, Band of Horses
• Podcast: n/a
• Audiobook: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Day 6 Highlights:

Today provided us with some of the most barren and the most beautiful natural landscapes we've ever seen. It started with a lot of barren. Most of Wyoming is high desert covered with sagebrush and very little else. It's a sunburnt, yellow country, and contrasts starkly against the lush Iowa plains we drove across just two days ago. If you ask my Uncle Terry, a hardened cowboy and rodeo champion who has spent a good deal of time here in Wyoming, he'll tell you that the best view of the state is the one you see in the rear view mirror.

While I can agree with him for much of the state, western Wyoming is a different story. Once we entered Yellowstone National Park, it was a whole new experience. Celeste and I had both been there in our youth, but it had been so long since we visited our nation's first national park that we had forgotten just how stunningly beautiful it is.

We entered near Cody, Wyoming, drove around the northern tip of Yellowstone Lake, then took the North Rim trail to Red Rock Point. There we beheld one of the most mesmerizing sights we have ever seen. The Lower Falls of Yellowstone River is a massive waterfall that blew us away with its size, force, and the fact that it emptied into what is known as the "Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone". That Grand Canyon is where Yellowstone got its name, because of the hue of the barren rock walls on both sides of the mighty river. It was breathtaking.

From there we wove our way through the park until we reached the Grand Prismatic Spring, one of the most iconic sites in the park. Yellowstone is essentially a giant volcano buried underneath mountains and rock, but here the volcano pokes out its head to say hello. The water is boiling hot and deadly, and while hot spots and boiling springs like this pepper the park, none is quite as vibrant and, well, prismatic, as this one.

Our last stop in the park was Old Faithful, the geyser that erupts so regularly and predictably, that early explorers gave its name. The famous geyser can shoot boiling water over 100 feet in the air and is worth seeing if you've never been to Yellowstone. That said, it was the least impressive of our three stops.

We ended our day with a long drive south, out of Yellowstone National Park, then into and out of Grand Teton National Park. The views were again shockingly beautiful, even for people like us who grew up around mountains. The Grand Tetons look like they belong in the high alps of Switzerland, and are unlike any other mountain range in North America. The drive to Jackson Hole was marked by countless "Oh my gosh, look at that," moments with mountains, landscape, and a herd of over 100 wild buffalo.

As we settled in for the night, the reality that it was our last night on the road started to hit us. It's hard to believe that we'll complete the last leg of our cross-country trip tomorrow as we drive through Idaho, past Bear Lake, through Logan Canyon, and into Logan, Utah. Logan is the town where we first met, went on our first date, and got married almost 13 years ago. Tomorrow, it will be our finish line.

Olsen Westward Expansion: Day 5

Day 5: Rapid City, SD to Casper, WY

Total Distance: 271 Miles
Total Vomits: 0 (But Mexican food in Casper, WY made it a close call)
Total "Dad Moments" where I lost my patience and became the Herm of my childhood: 1
License Plate Challenge: 45/51 (forgot about DC)
Listened to: 

• Music: The Avett Brothers
• Podcast: The Daily
• Audiobook: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Day 5 Highlights:

We started Day 5 by going directly to Mount Rushmore, a place that is more shrouded in controversy than ever before due to three factors:

1. First, there are a growing number of monuments and statues being removed across the country because they memorialize and glorify deeply flawed individuals. Mount Rushmore features two slaveholders and four presidents who displayed varying degrees of hostility or outright contempt for American Indians. 
2. Second, the monument is built on stolen land. And we're not talking about the concept of stolen land in the somewhat abstract (e.g. all of North America is stolen land when considering the native people who were here first and greedy European colonization). We're talking about black and white, no ambiguity, stole. American Indians even won their case at the U.S. Supreme Court, but their land has not been returned.
3. Third, Donald Trump is coming to the monument in a couple of days for a 4th of July celebration, and that man politicizes everything he touches.

So with that in mind, we went to Mount Rushmore with a desire to see, experience, and teach Valencia about human fallibility. She displayed a maturity beyond her years when we talked about the flawed men featured on the mountain, their good deeds and their misdeeds. She seemed to take it in and understand that no one is perfect. She was more shocked to learn that the U.S. government stole land from the Indians and lied to them, and was quick to come up with suggestions on how we can make things right. Hugs were mentioned, but so were other more substantive suggestions, like building a mountain monument with "Indian Presidents" so that it would be equal.

That brings us to the highlight of the day: the Crazy Horse Memorial. This Mount Rushmore alternative was actually much cooler in our opinion. The memorial is still a work in progress that currently features the face and finger of Crazy Horse, hewn out of a granite mountain, just like Mount Rushmore. If you look below, you'll see a model of the finished product in the foreground with the actual mountain/memorial in the background. The original sculptor died many years ago, so his family is keeping the operation afloat, but at a snail's pace.

The site includes a museum and cultural center that were really incredible. The mission of the memorial is also to build an American Indian University and educate people on American Indian culture, language, and history. Mount Rushmore didn't allow us to do much more than stand and look at the mountain for a few minutes. People stand and take photos for about 5 minutes on average, then we all just walked back to our cars.

We then went to Wind Cave National Park, which was a little underwhelming because the actual cave—the park's main attraction—was closed for repairs on their elevators. That meant that we had to settle for a nature hike, spotting lots of prairie dogs, and a long-distance encounter with a buffalo. Overall cool, but not the thrilling park experience that Badlands was.

We ended our day with a long drive to Casper, Wyoming. We can now smell the west in the air. The dry, arid wind blows through our hair, into our nostrils, and it smells like home. Tomorrow we'll launch early to get to Yellowstone National Park and the beauty and treasures it holds within its borders.

Olsen Westward Expansion: Day 4

Day 4: Sioux Falls, SD to Rapid City, SD

Total Distance: 365 Miles
Total Vomits: 0
Total "Dad Moments" where I lost my patience and became the Herm of my childhood: 1
License Plate Challenge: 43/50
Listened to: 

• Music: John Denver, Bon Iver, Josh Ritter, The Beach Boys, The Decembrists, Counting Crows, Simon & Garfunkel
• Podcast: n/a
• Audiobook: n/a

Day 4 Highlights:

We woke up in Sioux Falls and hopped in the family wagon (a white Honda minivan we're calling "Pearl") for the drive west toward Rapid City. Before I tell you that, I feel I should qualify my comment about "hopping into" our vehicle.

At the beginning and ending of every day, we have to load into and out of Pearl, into and out of our hotel room. The process takes about an hour to an hour and a half each morning and night. The process is as maddening to us as it probably is comical to any passerby or fellow traveler who happens to see us struggling through their thinly veiled hotel room curtains. Celeste might be yanked by Merlin while trying to help Valencia find her shoe, while I'm often moving 100 lbs. of luggage while holding Cache upside down by his left ankle. Valencia meanwhile usually has a bathroom emergency that threatens the long-term usability of Pearl, and has never been able to keep two matching shoes together for more than 45 minutes.

Now add COVID-19 to the mix.

Celeste and I have developed a routine to try and protect our family from any contact with the virus. Each night when we check into a hotel, one of us goes into the room alone first with Clorox bleach wipes and wipe down every surface in the room. Most hotels are promising guests that each room is sanitized and deep cleaned daily, but we're skeptical and don't want to take any chances. When you add that routine, the usual chaos of getting out of the car, and then throw in trying to eat or make dinner into that mix, it's basically a 2-hour clustercuss that leaves everyone exhausted and wondering why we didn't fly.

Okay, so why didn't we fly? Because doing a cross-country road trip is a rite of passage for every American wanderer. Because how else would we have seen the World's Only Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota? Or the famed Wall Drug Store in Wall, South Dakota? Or when else would we have had the opportunity to climb on the countless hoodoos in Badlands National Park? (or visit the Pro Football Hall of Fame, or Cuyahoga Valley National Park, and so on. You get my point.) Also, we have a 65 pound dog who can't fly on an airplane. As crazy as it has been, it's also been fun and amazing and at times hilarious as we all get to know each other within the tightly packed confines of our trusty steed Pearl.

While the Corn Palace was cool/weird, the biggest highlight of Day 4 was definitely Badlands National Park. It's the kind of park where the trails include lots of mesmerizing rock formations, not totally dissimilar from Goblin Valley State Park in southern Utah. The hoodoos are each unique and formed by geologic forces that have been at work for thousands of years. The park allows for climbing and scrambling on these mighty rock formations, which is a dream come true for a self-proclaimed "adventurous kid" like Vali. We even saw a wild buffalo herd from a distance, which was pretty cool.

Check back for highlights on Day 5, where we plan to tackle Mount Rushmore, Wind Cave National Park, and cross the border into Old Wyom.