The Weight Family

When trying our best be a good wife/mother, I think we women all share a common battle and bond. (and if YOU don’t, please feel free to leave a comment of advice below to help the rest of us “crazies” out) First, way to much to do all the time, that it is hard, (at least for this girl) to sit down and read a book for 5 minutes (The Hunger Games rocked! you should read it) without feeling guilty that instead, I should be folding laundry, wiping piddle off the loo, preparing the next FHE lesson or canning peaches. I am not saying these things aren’t of great importance because they truly are and I can honestly say I find joy in doing these things knowing I am serving my family.

(…..okay, if we are being honest here, minus the loo. 4 boys in my household…it can be pretty messy)

However, how to juggle it all perplexes me. I find it so ironic that when I am trying to improve an aspect of my life, something else seems to get swept under the rug.

Example:

2 years ago…..nope, it has been 3 now, sad. I become way involved in my health and nutrition, lost 47 ponds and felt great. (But apparently was ornery and way less entertaining and fun…just ask Char and Keelee)

I am thinking to myself, “self, way to go! even though you no longer enjoy carbs and eat leaves and chicken daily, oh yes, let’s not forget sugar-free jello! you are looking better and surely the husband is proud!”

The down side: Lame dinners and meals.

That is, if I even cooked. I feel like my diet consisted mostly of salad, string cheese and deli-meat. So my poor starving boys were feeling so deprived. After all….we ate like kings! May I remind you before all of this I weighed in at a whopping 193. Mashed potatoes and anything else that could swim in gravy, velveeta and butter were sure to be on our menu…..

Wow…..those were the days!…

oh. right. Back to the blog.

So do you see my pattern I am trying to point out (to all 3 of you reading this since I have failed to write consistently in the last, oh let’s say…2 years)

When we put time and effort into one thing something else loses out. What is that all about?

I know as children we were taught to choose right over wrong (CTR) and when you are a youngin’ this can seem like a lot to ask of. Especially when your older sister reams you about how fat you are and what a looser you can be and your only real way to get back at her is by scrubbing the toilet (you know, that nasty lip around the top edge of the bowl that can sometimes seem to get neglected) with her bran new toothbrush! Because in your defense you haven’t learned how to defend yourself verbally from grown-up-sister attacks because of your lack of confidence! (Vicious cycle, I know)

These situations are hard on kids.

But I believe as adults we have it just as hard, if not harder.

I will explain.

At least as kids we KNOW, not to stick that toothbrush it that desecrated water…..HEAVEN FORBID!!! After all we know the man up- stairs is watching, along with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and maybe even the Tooth Fairy herself, who knows?!?!?

Even as we go to grab the Toothbrush and scrub away, our eye catches that familiar flash of green that we all wore on one of our pudgy little fingers at one point (and if you didn’t, you can learn what I am talking about here) The good old CTR! But, we still proceed on anyways and will deal with the eternal consequences of our actions in the life to come. (After all, she deserved it!)

Back then, those choices were easy. (and yes, the toothbrush thing was indeed a true story that I ~~might~~ have been involved in. Sorry Brooke, I adore you now.)

But now, as a mother, wife, friend, visiting teacher, Young Women’s first counselor, room mom, neighbor, sister, daughter, grand child, daughter-in-law, care-taker etc…(wow that just made me tired) I find my choices aren’t as black and white as they used to be. If they were…life would be way too easy.

Yes, instead of being faced with right and wrong, I find myself faced with right vs. right. Hear me out.

Do I go visiting teaching this evening or help my son with his spelling? Should I visit my sweet grandparents or my sister-in-law who just had a baby, do i attend a Young Women’s activity or go on an activity (a.k.a. “date”, what is that anyway, I have seem to forgotten) with the hubby?

The list goes on. You know what I am talking about, because you are a women too, or a man for that matter. Either way, it all boils down the same.

As I was feeling overwhelmed in my despair. I happen to come across this article while I was pre-paring a lesson for YW’s (and making tamales for dinner, and testing Chase on his spelling words, and kissing my husband as he got home from work. Good thing us wives are rockin’ multi-taskers!) :0) It’s really not that bad, I like to embellish my stories to make them a little more dramatic, if you haven’t noticed.

It is entitled, “Good, Better, Best”. An article written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. Read it for yourself and see what you get from it.

I personally love the comparison to the story in the scriptures that he uses…

“We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

Jesus taught this principle in the home of Martha. While she was “cumbered about much serving” (Luke 10:40), her sister, Mary, “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word” (v. 39). When Martha complained that her sister had left her to serve alone, Jesus commended Martha for what she was doing (v. 41) but taught her that “one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (v. 42). It was praiseworthy for Martha to be “careful and troubled about many things” (v. 41), but learning the gospel from the Master Teacher was more “needful.” The scriptures contain other teachings that some things are more blessed than others (see Acts 20:35; Alma 32:14–15).

I think this story teaches us to “simplify things”and focus on what is truly important. Sometimes we make things harder than it needs to be. My husband James would bring this up to me on occasion. One time in particular when he found me in the kitchen, at 3 o’clock in the morning, the night before me and the young women in my ward were heading off to camp the next morning at 6 o’clock in the morning ( I was the Camp Director for my ward at the time, also a student, new mom, and a 21 year old back then) gluing together hand-outs for my devotional that I had prepared for the testimony meeting that was to take place. Did I mention i was crying, hadn’t showered in 3 days, smelled like a dead Rhino ~~and was questioning joining the catholic church at that point~~ ?!?! It was too much.

I learned this the hard way of course! Who even cares about the stinkin’ hand-out, pretty sure, none of the girls kept it or even knows where it is (and if they did, bless their dear souls) :0)

It’s beside the point. A handout won’t change your life,….but the spirit, it can. And I have yet to see the Spirit pass out any hand-outs…only peace, comfort, and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you know you have seen/heard/learned something good and true. That’s what counts and matters most.

Not that our houses are completely spot-free, but that they are a warm cozy place where family can hang together and be silly, with crayons strewn across the table, legos hiding in every corner of the house, and yes even dirty undies on the bathroom floor!

Not pretty things on the coffee table that you about die every time your child knocks over, but the gathering around the coffee table to have FHE. ( I feel like we Mormons need to re-think the name, “coffe table” seeing as such we don’t drink coffee….but then again, the “hot chocolate table” just doesn’t have a good flow, does it? just sayin’…)

Or over-preparing on the hand-outs, centerpiece, and solo you will be providing for your lesson, but instead study up on the plainness and simplicity of the knowledge of the gospel and the content you will be teaching.

Do I think hand-outs are bad. Not at all…Love them, I may even sing a solo in sacrament one of these days if you are lucky!

But at the end of the day…I want to be like Mary. I think Martha’s intentions were good (I’d be wanting to clean up my house too if I knew Jesus was going to be hangin’ around) But Mary chose the better part. I hope to learn to do this too. To find “balance” as our bishop is always teaching to us. I think he may be onto something, how ‘bout you?

-Jami