Being a gracious receiver

Cara & I went to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional tonight - thanks to Mere for tickets! I love going to events at Temple Square, especially at Christmas. Only I haven't been feeling very Christmas-y this year. There's just so much going on...full time job that's pretty stressful...long-distance engagement...long-distance wedding planning...moving to another state in less than a month, right after the holidays...oh and let's not forget the minor detail of Christmas shopping. Which I haven't started yet.

People keep offering to help and not only do I not really know what they can do to help (plan next year's promotions? book the caterer? pack up my apartment over Christmas?) I have an incredibly hard time accepting the offers. I think it's a pride thing. I need to prove that I can do it myself. Most people outgrow that around kindergarten but apparently, being an overachiever and all, I skipped that step.

So with that in mind, I was surprised when President Uchtdorf's talk tonight focused on being a gracious receiver. Clearly that talk was for me! I struggle accepting anything from anyone (ask Nathan how it went that time he tried to help me buy new tires...) but as I listened I got a big dose of humility and realized I need to learn how to accept help. I can't do it all on my own. Isn't that the point of the atonement? And while I think I'm ok accepting help from Christ (let's hope so!) I need to learn to accept it from others who love me as well. Maybe they won't do things exactly as I would. Maybe they'll even do it wrong. But the point is they love me enough to help, and I should love them enough to say "thank you,' instead of "you're doing it wrong."

So that's my (early) New Year's resolution: become a gracious receiver. Maybe that'll ease some of the stress in my life!

Save the Date Round II

I love Utah in the fall.

Save the Date!

Cara and the Cricut made the sign. Aly & Spencer took the photos. 

He & I pretty much just stood there and looked pretty.

Being "that girl"

I never thought I'd be "that girl": the one who misses someone like crazy, wakes up excited to see them then realizes they're in a different state, wants to go home after a long day at work and just be with them, feels like a piece of her is missing when they're gone. I'm pretty good at being independent. It's gotten me pretty far in life. But I'm finally willing to admit that independence is overrated. I'm trading it in for something much better.

At Bridalveil Falls on Labor Day

A story about rocks, or our engagement story

Last weekend my cousin Taylor got married. I invited Nathan to come to the wedding, since he hadn't met any of my relatives beyond my immediate family and what better chance than a wedding? He arrived later than planned so we didn't get much time at the reception, but I got to introduce him to most of my mom's relatives, plus my dad's sister and her family.

The next morning we drove to downtown LA to visit Eli, our family friend who also happens to be a jewelry designer, and design my ring. I'm a little in love with it - Nathan got it in the mail today and just showed me over Skype, and I seriously wish I had it now. Anyway. The point of telling you this is, I knew when we bought the ring Saturday morning that Nathan wouldn't get it until about a week later. Therefore, Nathan wouldn't be able to propose until we saw each other again, which won't happen until Labor Day weekend.

Later that day Cara, Nathan and I drove down to Newport Beach to meet up with his cousin Craig. In my mind we were just going to hang out at the beach and get dinner at some point, which is why I got confused and a little annoyed that Craig kept saying the beach was too crowded. I was thinking, dude, it's a Saturday night in the summer. It's gonna be crowded! Why do you need it to be all private and secluded anyway? Little did I know...

We finally stopped at The Montage in South Laguna. This hotel is beyond gorgeous, and the best part is its beachfront property was downright abandoned compared to the other beaches we'd passed. Cara and Craig said they wanted to walk back up the cliffs so Nathan and I started walking along the water by ourselves. We wandered over to the rocky tide pool area, where the tide was starting to come in over the rocks. At this point I was struggling to keep up with him, because in case you've never tried it, walking over rocky tide pools seriously hurts your feet! Somehow a dad and his little daughter got in between us, putting me even further behind. I was getting a little annoyed that he'd just plowed ahead without waiting for me, plus, my feet hurt. So I was just happy to finally catch up to him.

We stood on the rock watching the waves, just chatting and kissing, and I was wondering why he wouldn't hold my hand. I suggested we sit down because maybe our feet wouldn't hurt so badly that way, so he sat and said I should keep standing. Now he decided it was ok to hold my hand - finally!

He asked me, "How much do you love me?"
I said, "Enough to follow you over these stupid sharp rocks that hurt my feet." Because, they did. Hurt, that is.
He said, "Ouch. That's pretty weak. Is that the best you can do?"
Realizing he was serious, I said, "Enough to follow you to Arizona (where he is a dental student), then to wherever you do your residency, and wherever you decide to open a practice."
He asked, "Do you love me enough to marry me?"
I said, "Absolutely!" Because I'm thinking, we just bought a ring, and that's kind of the point.
Then he asked, "Will you?"
At this point he started sliding a ring on my finger, and I was taken completely off guard (someone please tell me how I did not see this coming!)
I asked, "Seriously? This is really happening?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "But that's not my ring!"
At this point I'm both laughing and crying, and he was laughing too as he said, "I know. That's not really the point right now, is it?"
And I decided he was right, and let him put the Walmart ring on my finger, and kissed my new fiance. Because that's what you do in these situations.

Cuffed up jeans because the tide was coming in

A few minutes later we got a text from Cara asking if we were done yet. Apparently she and Craig were taking pictures of us from the cliffs! They met us down at the beach and we took some more pictures before going to In-N-Out for dinner (in case you think we're being cheap with the dinner choice, In-N-Out was were we went on our "second first date" back at the beginning of February. So, it was actually really romantic and sweet. Plus, I love their shakes. And we were all too hungry to wait for "real food".)

So that's the story! I love that we got to pick out my ring together but he was still able to surprise me, and I'm so glad Cara got pictures of the actual proposal as well as some up-close shots right after. Also, I love that we ended up at The Montage and I'm pretty sure that engagement pictures are going to happen there at some point. And it's my new favorite beach.

Timing

I've been thinking a lot about timing lately, what with getting engaged and all(!) Nathan and I first started dating nearly 3 years ago (more on that in a separate post) and I could tell from the start that something was different about this relationship. When it ended, I couldn't understand how my instincts had been so wrong. Now I understand that my instincts weren't wrong. The timing was wrong. And in the meantime, in addition to some much-needed time for both of us to grow up, I've had some of the most incredible life experiences:

*Traveling to China, Hong Kong, Turkey and Greece
*Graduating with an MBA
*Working for Clorox and GE Healthcare
*Meeting friends who are more like sisters
*Learning what it means to forgive, to heal, to accept grace, to more fully access the atonement
*Going to the temple, for me, to build a better relationship with my Heavenly Father

I'm so excited to start my life with Nathan, and so incredibly happy that things finally worked out for us. But at the same time I'm also so grateful for the delay in getting to this point, because of the amazing life experiences I got to have in between. It's like Heavenly Father was telling me all along, be patient, be happy, enjoy the life you get to live for now, and you'll get everything you've always wanted, in good time. And I did.

PS-engagement story coming soon!

What happens in Vegas

What? It was his idea...

Just kidding! Here's what really happened:

M&M land, because what else are Mormons supposed to do on the strip?

Showing off our "instruments" at Recycled Percussion - such a fun show!

Finished up with delicious dessert at Sugar Factory

Thanks for hanging out with us, Adam & Meghan!

World Travels: Mediterranean Edition

I spent 10 days in some of the most beautiful cities in the world, reunited with my best friends from b-school and making some new friends along the way. I promise not to overload the blog with pictures, but here are a few of my favorites:

Santorini - what I imagined Greece would look like 

Library of Ephesus - gorgeous facade behind us 

Olympians at the original Olympic stadium in Athens 

Showing our muscles at the Hercules Gate in Ephesus 

Doorway to the Sultan's Palace in Istanbul 

Making wishes at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul 

Playing in the amazing water at Kine Beach in Syros 

Checking out the Parthenon in Athens

The God I Know

I had the most amazing time exploring Greece and Turkey with a few of my favorite people last month, and what made the beautiful sights, sounds & tastes even better was learning about the history behind them. We toured Istanbul, Ephesus, Patmos, Syros, Rhodes, Crete, Santorini and Athens. The last night of the trip, in Athens, I didn't get much sleep and decided to watch the sunrise from our hotel's rooftop, with a perfect view of the Parthenon. I brought my scriptures to the roof to reread the Apostle Paul's sermon on The Unknown God, given at Mar's Hill - which I could see perfectly in front of me.

I love this sermon! Here's some context: Mars Hill, or Areopagus, is where the first democratic senate government met to discuss and vote on important issues. They also liked to discuss philosophical issues, like new religions. Mars Hill was peppered with shrines to a variety of gods, including one altar to The Unknown God. Paul took this altar as an opportunity to teach the Athenians about the true God, their Heavenly Father, and to teach them that through Jesus Christ, God is very approachable for all of us. Here's what I wrote in my journal that (very early) morning in Athens:

Jesus Christ is Heavenly Father's way of making Himself known unto us. Because Jesus always did Heavenly Father's will, we know what God would do. Because Jesus was created in the image of God, with a body of flesh and bone, we know Heavenly Father has a body like ours. Jesus showed in the gift of the atonement the incomprehensible depth of His, and His Father's, love for us. So to say that God is unknown or unknowable is a lie, because God showed us who He is in Jesus Christ.

Jesus is also the way we can come to know God, because the atonement allows us to return to God's presence, to receive sacred temple ordinances and eventually become like God. Jesus is our intercessor before God - we pray to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ, and He pleads with the Father on our behalf.

No one will force you to know God - you must take the first steps. But the scriptures promise that as you seek Him diligently, you will find Him. he is not an abstract, unknowable mystery. He is your Father and He loves you and knows you perfectly. He wants you to know Him and gives you ample opportunity to know Him, if you choose to act on it.

I'm grateful for a God that is both knowable and near - and a gorgeous morning in Athens!

Time to be still

My life is busy, and crowded, and loud. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I love the people in it. I love (usually) the job that takes up the vast majority of my week. I love my calling at church. But in recent months the amount of me time, of time to simply be still and ponder, has been seriously lacking. That's what made today so special.

I'm in Rochester, NY, visiting a customer site to interview radiology technicians about our newest medical device. It's fun to be a journalist again. It's even more fun to scrub into a surgery and watch a resident and a fellow take a shattered ankle, insert a handful of screws, bolts and rods, and realign the fragments of bone. It's even more fun to take "pictures" (fluoro, or x-rays) as the surgeons work, to confirm that they've properly aligned everything.

But the best part of today was leaving the hospital and driving 30 miles east to a tiny town called Palmyra. I hiked the Hill Cumorah. I toured the Joseph Smith Family Farm. I spent more than an hour exploring the Sacred Grove. And I went to a session in the Palmyra temple. In the silence of those moments, with only the sounds of birds, frogs, the breeze and my own footsteps and breath, I could feel the peace and love that have eluded me recently. I finally had a chance to be still. And when I am still, I know.

I know that God lives and that He is my Father. He knows my name. He knows the details of my life. He knows I'm not perfect, but He loves me anyway. I know that He and His Son appeared in that quiet grove of trees - and may I say, He picked a lovely spot for it, all green and mossy and alive with the rebirth of early spring. I know that Joseph Smith saw what he said he saw - God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. It's not like I doubted before. But something about today and the stillness and solitude of my walks in the woods reminded me of how certain I am that it is true. And you know what? I'm glad for the reminder. Because tomorrow I go back to that busy, crowded, loud life, and I get to take today's walks and thoughts with me.

3 month countdown

To this

And this

And this

Guys, I'm kinda excited. I seriously need a vacation and I think cruising to Turkey and Greece with a few of my favorite MBA ladies is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Let them eat cake

One of my favorite people here in Sandy asked if I would make the cakes for her mom's surprise birthday party. I love baking. I love projects and planning and getting inspiration from Pinterest (see here and here and here). Also, I love Ashley, and I love her mom, Ann, who is pretty much my Utah mom and the sweetest thing ever. So of course I said yes.

Enter the marathon baking weekend that included 24 eggs, 6 lbs. powdered sugar, 3 lbs. butter, 1/2 cup vanilla, 10 lbs. gourmet fillings from the best bakery supply store in Orange County, and 6 Duncan Hines white cake mixes (what? I had to cut corners somewhere). I now understand why wedding cakes are so expensive. But I think it turned out pretty well, don't you? (phone photo quality aside of course)

Happy Birthday Ann!

PS-this may be the best buttercream recipe ever. And it pipes beautifully. This from the girl who hates the taste of Wilton's buttercream but always uses it because it's prettiest. I'm officially converted. You're welcome. Source: here.

Simple Vanilla Buttercream
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter at room temp (I left mine out overnight)
3 cups sifted powdered sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 tbsp vanilla
2 tablespoons milk or cream

Whip butter until smooth (2-3 minutes). Lower speed of mixer and add powdered sugar. Once it's smooth, return to medium and mix in salt and vanilla. Once it's smooth, mix in cream. Whip another 3-5 minutes and it'll be fluffy and gorgeous and yummy as all get-out.