BYU Football - Why Do I Bother?

I did it - watched a WHOLE football game without falling asleep!  Actually, I watched TWO!
One was a great game. We won!
Second was dumb and reminded me why I hate watching BYU Football.

I'll still watch when my friends or family want to watch a game...buttttt I'm not gonna try and stop myself from falling asleep anymore. haha

Flying - Just Like Having Wings

My parents have awesome friends.
Toni and Terry Poulsen!  They are super friendly and nice!  Terry owns a plane.  And he took my dad and I flying one day!

It was INCREDIBLE!  I've flown in planes before.  But nothing is like flying in a private plane!  So small and you can see everything from windows all around you!

After flying for a little bit, Terry showed me how to turn the plane and go up and down.  Then he let go of his wheel and said, "Alright!  It's all yours!"

WHAT!?  I took the wheel and started flying the plane!  It was SO COOL and so fun!  I had a freaking blast.

Maybe I'll get my piloting license one day. That'd be so cool.

Meal Planning

In September I went to live with my Grandma to help her out.  A big thing that I did to help was cook meals for her.  This gave me the perfect opportunity to learn how to meal plan and do it for a long time!

I really enjoyed learning how to meal plan.  Finding recipes that I'd like to make during the week, shopping each week for the ingredients I needed, and then following through with what I had planned to make!  It took a lot of work.  And not to mention a lot of searching on pinterest for recipes that'd work for my grandma (as she has diabetes).  But it payed off!

My grandma has benefited a lot from actually having healthy meals now.  Her blood sugar isn't all over the place anymore, so that has been a huge blessing!  And she's (slowly, but surely) gaining some meat on those bones of hers! 

When I move, I hope that I will be able to continue to meal plan and make time for cooking.  It's hard when life gets busy and you have things to do, but it is definitely something I want to continue doing!

A Social Media Fast

10 days!  I did it!  Went 10 days without social media!  It was surprisingly really difficult, I didn't realize how much of a habit it was for me to go onto instagram or facebook when I had "nothing to do".  Mostly when I was waiting around for something to cook or while my grandma was watching tv.
I usually don't spend tons of time scrolling through FB or Instagram, but I do use it daily...multiple times a day typically.  FB, I really don't know why I have it.  Instagram - I use it to keep up with my family mostly.  My sister posts instagram stories daily of my niece!  So that was hard missing out on all of that.
Instead of using social media, I turned to doing family history a lot, going on walks, and job searching.  So not using social media made me more productive!  Howevever, I miss being able to see what my sister and niece are up to!  Haha so I think I'll keep it.  But I might try to limit my usage of it still, just to make sure I stay more productive! :)

101 things in 1001 days

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago and she mentioned a fun thing that she does that I want to try!  101 things (goals) in 1001 days!  I will write down my list here and I will make posts on when I complete them and cross them off this list!  I've never been a good at accomplishing goals that I have made...so I hope that this will be a good fun way to try doing goals!  And I have almost 3 years to complete it!  So it seems definitely more doable! :)

My 101 in 1001 List

Start date: 10/9/2018

End date: 7/6/2021

Health/Fitness/Beauty
1. Learn how to French braid my own hair
2. Try 101 new recipes (21/101)
3. Be able to do a front plank for 5 1/2 minutes
4. Be able to do 50 consecutive push-ups
5. Make a meal plan each week for a month and follow it (Meal Planning)
6. Don't pick at any acne for at least a month
7. Make ravioli from scratch
8. Visit the dermatologist for that one spot on my arm...
9. Complete the 15 day Fit Body challenge
10. Organize my recipes
11. Learn how to make Macaroons
12. Learn how to make pirogi
13. Learn 3 new hairstyles and become proficient in doing them (0/3)
14. Figure out why I get migraines

Family, Friends, and Relationships
15. Do something special for each immediate family member (0/7)
16. Mail someone a surprise package
17. Complete mission comic book and send as presents to those sisters
18. Mail 10 snail mail letters to friends and family (6/10)
19. Send flowers to my mom "out of the blue"
20. Beat Krista at Racquetball
21. Hike along the Pacific Crest Trail in the Sierra Nevada's with my mom
22. Visit siblings and their families in their cities (5/5) (Visiting Family - One of My Greatest Joys)

Personal
23. Get engaged
24. Get married
25. Make a mission picture book
26. Make my soccer quilt
27. Kiss someone at midnight on New Years Eve
28. Go 10 days from social media (A Social Media Fast)
29. Feed 3 homeless persons (0/3)
30. Save $10 for every item crossed off this list (60/1010)
31. Index 3003 names on Family Search Indexing (165/3003)
32. Do family history - find 100 new names to take to the temple (0/100)
33. Write in my journal at least once a week for a year
34. Get a new job (New Job, New Adventure)
35. Volunteer 3 times in a year in my local community (1/3)
36. Update my 72 hour kit
37. Serve at a soup kitchen on my birthday
38. Buy a stick-shift car
39. Give away 3 copies of the Book of Mormon (you can request a free one for yourself here!) (0/3)
40. Make a blurb-type book from my travels
41. Watch a whole BYU football game without falling asleep (BYU Football - Why do I bother?)
42. Don't say "I don't know" when I have to make a decision for a whole day, 101 days (doesn't have to be consecutive) (0/101)

Learning
43. Memorize 15 scriptures in English (0/15)
44. Memorize 15 scriptures in Russian (0/15)
45. In between General Conferences, re-read and study all talks
46. Master 3 subjects on Kahn Academy (0/3)
47. Master Russian on Duolingo
48. Master French on Duolingo
49. Memorize The Living Christ in English and in Russian
50. Read the Book of Mormon all the way through before 1/1/19
51. Try a new idea of studying scriptures and topics for at least a month
52. Complete my studies of Christ
53. Refresh on my anatomy - memorize it all again
54. Learn a new song on the piano without significant pauses
55. Learn a new song on the ukulele without significant pauses
56. Ask 10 friends their favorite book and read them all (0/10)
57. Read 15 other books (2/15)

Fun Things
58. Go axe throwing
59. Go paint balling
60. Attend my sister's annual Harry Potter Birthday Party
61. Ride a tandem bicycle
62. Answer a telemarketer call in Russian and tell them to never call again.
63. Go sailing
64. Play with a real monkey
65. Go skydiving
66. Go snowshoeing
67. Sing at karaoke night
68. Bathe and/or ride an elephant
69. Ride in a hot air balloon
70. Learn the dance for Thriller
71. Solve a Rubik's cube
72. Go bungee jumping
73. Go to a drive-in movie
74. Learn how to juggle
75. Make something at Color Me Mine (or somewhere similar)
76. Fly in a private airplane (Flying - Just Like Having Wings)
77. Swim with dolphins
78. Build a blanket fort and sleep in it
79. Watch a meteor shower
80. Watch a caterpillar turn into a butterfly
81. Climb a 5.12 grade with minimal rests
82. Throw a pot
83. Relearn how to start a fire without matches
84. Go Scuba Diving
85. Go dog sledding
86. Learn how to break dance

Travel
87. Walk 3003 miles (3 miles/day) (0/3003)
88. Visit my mission
89. Visit 6 temples I haven't been to before (3/6)
90. Travel to a new country
91. Hike Macchu Picchu
92. Go to Hawaii
93. Go on a cruise
94. Go to Harry Potter World
95. Visit 3 National Parks that I've never been to (1/3)
96. See the Northern Lights
97. Travel to a new state
98. Go to Disney World

Other
99. Reserved for 2021

Blog
100. Make a new 101 list when this one is almost done
101. Document all completed items on my blog

Here we go! :)

Let's get personal...How to keep your socks from getting lost in the wash!

Okay, I don't really have a secret.  I mean, yes, it's true! I've never lost a sock in the washer/dryer!  But if you ask, How?  I have no clue. :)  I just wanted to brag real quick about that neat fact of my life!  Just don't lose 'em! ;)
Okay, but in all seriousness.  That's not the point of my post today.

If you follow my life at all, you've noticed I've traveled to a few places in the past couple of months...
Iceland...England...Sweden...Finland...Norway...Czech Republic...Switzerland...Ireland...DC...just to name a few...

Peak in Switzerland

Norway sunset over the forest and fjords ♥

 Karlstejn Castle in Czech Republic

 The most swiss picture ever. ♥ Alps. Green Pastures. Cow.

They were all incredible and absolutely wonderful places and I had grand experiences and met some great new friends!  But my life isn't always an adventure like that!  I do have a normal average Joe Jessica life ;)
I wake up, work out (when motivated enough to do so), go to work (which consists now of taking care of my grandma!  Cooking, cleaning, organizing...all that jazz), and study in my free time (not school stuff anymore, but scriptures and languages!).
I have my up days and my low days.  I experience discouragement, loneliness, insecurity, trials, struggles, joy and peace (of course not all at the same time...).

Hiking alone for miles and miles on end while in Europe gave me quite a bit of time to think.  About who I am.
We all put on masks.  There are few people in my life who actually have seen ME.  I am usually having an internal struggle that I mask so that I will be seen as "doing good".  I think we all do it.  But why??
I know, for me, I don't like to be seen crying or looking sad.  I don't like feeling vulnerable.  I don't want to feel like a burden to someone else.  I want people to see me as a happy and positive person.  Not as a "Negative Nellie".
I busy myself, put on a mask and then "everything is fine".  I get into a mindset of thinking "No one will know"...

No one will know that I was crying just minutes before this picture was taken because of how alone I was feeling at that moment, even though I was surrounded by others.

No one will know that I was going through an extremely difficult time and feeling miserable as my boyfriend had just broken up with me about a week before this picture was taken.

No one will know when they asked where I had been and I replied, "Oh, just at the temple, doing some pondering." when I really was there to cry for a long time, asking my Heavenly Father, "Why?".

No one will know, standing in the background, as sister after sister, brother after brother, and friend after friend gets married that, as truly happy as I am for them, I am frustrated and broken, desperately wishing with all my freaking heart that I could start a family too.  My biggest desire.

Can you see it?  Can you see the struggle one is going through in their eyes when they say "I'm good!" and smile, but as they turn away that smile fades?

Do we realize that when we catch them in their "pondering" moments, it really could be moments of them thinking "do I have the strength to keep pressing forward?"

Maybe that's why I love being with kids so much.  They are innocent and full of pure love!  I just have to play with them and they'll like me!  I don't have to think of things to say to make me sound more likeable.  I don't have to act a certain way.  I don't get hurt by them.  I don't feel unwanted.

But then you get those individuals who see you behind the mask.  They recognize the struggling.  They hear that small crack in your happy voice.  They see that smile fade.  And they prove to you that they care and will listen - it's no empty words of "I'm here for you".  They mean it and show it from the little things they do.  They become your support.  You know you don't have to put up a mask for them.  You can trust them with how you truly feel.

I am grateful for those people in my life who know me for who I am behind my mask.  They know I'm imperfect and they still love me.  They encourage and support me through my hard days.  They listen to me cry and talk about how insecure, discouraged, or lonely I may be feeling.  They always do a hecka good job at lifting my spirits.  Just by talking with me and being there for me.

I hope I can be that for others as well.  I want to be more aware.  I want to be the kind of person that leaves someone feeling better than when I found them.  Like my best friend and family are for me ♥