Does anyone know...

How to get this big gray box off the screen? I configured the design and removed every box I could find. This last remaining one never showed up on the options.

I Paid Someone to Hurt Me

OR: They Came At Me With Knives

Two weeks ago I had surgery to remove a lump in my lower left leg. It had been causing me pain on and off since I was in 10th grade. Actually, I didn't even know it was a lump until it grew big enough to detect while I was pregnant with John.

When I was pregnant with Liam, it grew more and the pain was unbearable, until I finally discovered I could relieve it by wearing the tightest possible compression stockings available to mankind. But I had to wear them ALL the time that I wasn't laying down, so in the shower, in the pool, during labor....

I decided that I wasn't going to repeat that. Besides, if I let that thing grow any bigger, I probably couldn't even control the pain with compression stockings. So out it came.

I'd always thought it was a fatty blob, because that's what one doctor said. My surgeon here did not believe so (I don't know why). Anyway, he was right. I went to my post-op appointment yesterday to have my stitches removed, and he said, "I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before," (My uncanny knack to baffle doctors continues), "Now where's that Path [pathology] report?" After procuring the pathology report from the hospital, we both learned that it was a tumor! A benign tumor, not a malignant one. I don't know what distinguishes a tumor from a polyp or a cyst or what-have-you. This one was only 0.5 cm x 0.5 cm x 0.6 cm and managed to do a lot to me.

I'm not going to post a picture of how pretty it looks now. Jeremy gets queasy just thinking about it. I was just about to have Jeremy take a picture of me in my surgery get-up, complete with hair net, when the surgeon came in to draw on my leg with his ball-point pen. So I have no pictures of my own. But perhaps you'll enjoy these:

 

This one required permission for use, so I'll link you to the guy's website:

http://offthemark.com/search-results/key/hospital+beds/ 

BYU is Back!

BYU plays in the New Mexico Bowl here in Albuquerque
in two weeks. 
Jeremy and John are going.

I'm not, because I don't really care about football.
Plus, it's during nap time.

But if you care, and want to come, I would welcome you.

Because I do care about my friends.

Exhale

Usually, going out of town to visit family isn't really...vacation. It's hard. Sleep deprivation, whining children, allergies and uncomfortable beds just aren't fun. And traveling to a time zone three hours different wipes us out.

But this Thanksgiving is different. We've only had to move one time zone over, which is so much easier to adapt to. The kids did remarkably well on the two car drives, one 7 hours and one 8. Liam only cried when he had poo halfway up his back and we couldn't stop (what a trooper!).

We had a lovely stopover at Jeremy's aunt and uncle's house in Mesa. The bed was soo soft and nice -- something which can make a big difference to me with my chronic pain. Jeremy and I only had one argument (over Cheese-Its), and now that we're at our final destination, I am relaxed and enjoying myself.

Ahhhh. This is the vacation I needed.

Just can't get enough.

He can't. I can.

This is what I've been doing for a week straight:

 

It's a puzzle with a magnetic tow truck to remove the pieces.

It's also the thing Liam is obsessed with right now. Unfortunately, he needs my help to get the pieces in just right.

And I'm really getting sick of it.

(As I am writing this now, Liam has spotted his beloved possession pictured on the computer, and is pointing and chatting nonsense to it.)

We seem to have an earlier version: same cars, different track. But all the fun.

We have also misplaced the tow truck, and are using a magnet given me by a friend. Thank you, Chelsea. You never could have known how important that magnet would become.

Warning: Not funny or happy, just true.

So this morning I woke up with a master mondo headache, and while it may have had a little to do with allergies, I was sure it was mainly from the stress I've been having lately about my son.

He's always been a handful, ever since he was born. Last year we had a series of "THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!" moments where we knew we needed therapy, but we didn't want to pay for it until Jeremy had a real job. So we always kind of knew we'd look up a child psychologist when we got to wherever it was we were going.

So now he's been seeing a therapist for a few weeks. Before we started, I had so much anxiety just wondering what they would say about my son (and my parenting). I'm prone to anxiety anyway, so I don't need much of a reason to worry.  I would get anxious just driving him to the appointments. Not just worrying about what they would say, but worrying that there simply was something wrong with my son.

So we did start to make some progress after implementing a new rewards system, and I started to exhale. But then came the day when I got a note home from school that he got in trouble for throwing a rock at his teacher. THROWING A ROCK AT HIS TEACHER?!?!?! The more I thought about it, the more I thought, this kid is weird. Who throws a rock at their teacher? What thought processes -- if any -- preceded such a decision? For a few days, I was saying in my head, "Intervention!" in the voice of the sharks of Finding Nemo (who have to restrain their fellow vegetarian-shark during a Fish Are Friends meeting.)

That was also when I decided we needed more than just a therapist. We needed a diagnosis. Need a diagnosis, actually, because the appointment isn't until November. And I continue to worry about what the diagnosis will be. I have a few things in mind - ADHD, Sensory Processing Dysfunction, Asperger's, Anxiety Disorder, Tourette's (conditions you become familiar with when you read books like, The Explosive Child or How to Handle a Hard-to-Handle Kid). I worry about what it will be. I worry that it will be nothing. That would be the worst, because a diagnosis (a correct one) is a tool to get help and understanding.

Look at this face.

I'll keep you posted.

We want... a SHRUBBERY!

There may be those who think I live in a desert like this:

 And that my yard is full of cactus.

Not true. I also have a lot of tumbleweed.

     Just kidding. To show you the actual vegetation growing around my home, I have taken the following pictures for your enjoyment and learning.

A gardenish area in the back

A large shrubbery in the front.

Lovely flowers that don't seem to need any water.

Lavender by the road. This is all over Albuquerque.

A cactus. I have three of these. Their spikes are vicious!

The other cactus I have. My hair always gets caught in it.

My neighbor's shade tree.

My shade tree.

A small tree in the back has these amazing blossoms.

My thriving vegetable garden. It's still in the sprouting stage for some late-summer crops. The net keeps the birds from stealing the seeds.

 

 

A large bush with vivid, bright orange berries. These are all over Albuquerque, too.

I found someone on the rocking horse.

My lawn, in PRISTINE condition. This is truly the best it's looked all summer, because we had a rainstorm last week.

Liam birdwatching. It's a good thing we have so many birds in our backyard, because he loves them.

This bush was doing better until I forgot to turn on the water one Saturday. It had blossoms all over it.

And here's what it looks like outside of a cultivated yard. We are on a hike at the foot of the Sandia Mountains. The photo looks out into Albuquerque. Yes, that's a cactus to the right.

 

 

Now you are educated in the flora of the high desert biome. Feel lucky.

Recipe: Chicken-Chile Nachos

A note about the chiles: the original recipe used a local variety of fresh roasted chiles, Hot Sandias. Canned green chiles can be substituted, but will be substantially more mild.

Green chiles, about 3 cans, drained
1 cup chicken broth (or water + bouillon)
1 Tb. minced garlic
1/4 cup diced celery
1/4 cup diced onion
2 chicken breast halves, cooked
2 Tb. flour
1/3 cup milk
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
Tortilla chips
Sliced green onions

1. Combine chiles, chicken broth, and garlic in a saucepan. Heat over the stove to boiling, then reduce heat and simmer to reduce (let water boil away until the mixture is saucy). Stir occasionally.
2. Saute onion and celery in oil in a large frying pan.
3. Cube chicken and add to frying pan. Coat evenly with flour and stir while heating on medium. Salt chicken if desired. Pour in the milk and stir constantly until the flour and milk have thickened into a sauce. Lower heat to low. Sprinkle cheese over chicken, and cover to let cheese melt.
4. To serve, scoop chicken mixture on top of tortilla chips, add some green chile sauce, and garnish with green onions.

Mmmmmmmm.

This will beautify your casa

I got a new mop a few weeks ago, and it is seriously awesome.

       It is microfiber, which is supposed to be able to clean really well because of all the "micro" "fibers" or something. And it does. One of my favorite parts is that after I clean the floors, I just unscrew the mop head from the broomstick and throw it in with the wash. Yes, you heard me. It is machine washable.

It's a Quickie, and I got it at Lowe's. Only like 8 bucks. I may just get a second one.

Maybe now they'll let me stay

Today I made what may be the best chicken-chile-cheese nachos in the world. Quite possibly. At least, they were so good that I ate too much!

Here in New Mexico it's all about the green chiles. So while at the Farmer's Market yesterday, I picked up some fire-roasted Sandia Hots, knowing I could easily make my husband happy just by trying. Today I thought maybe they could make some good green enchilada sauce, so I peeled, seeded, and chopped them while chicken cooked in the oven. It was taking a while, so I decided chicken-chile casserole might be easier. And finally, as Liam whined and tugged at my pants incessantly, it became just nachos.

But what a good choice. The chicken was cubed, along with celery and onions in a creamy sauce; the chiles went into a pot with garlic and chicken broth to turn saucy. Cheddar melted on the finished chicken completed it. I put corn tortilla chips on my plate, followed by chicken, the chile sauce, and some sliced green onion. MMmmmmmm.

And yes, my husband was very happy.

What I said I would tell you...

I've eluded to an incident involving cold water and life jackets; here's where I give the full details.

We were visiting Utah for a family reunion and were hanging out with Jeremy's mother, siblings, and their children. Somebody had said the Provo river (up in the canyon) was tame, so we thought it would be fun to take all the kids tubing. The whole time, I'm imagining a sunny, lazy river scene, very similar to one I experienced as a child in some Tennessee river. So, with our 8 adults and 7 kids, we drive up the canyon for what should be a fun morning.

I had Liam in my lap; Jeremy had John in his. The other kids were no older than John, and most were also riding in the lap of an adult. We all had life jackets on. The water was quite shallow. Seems very safe, right?

But the water turned out to be unusually fast that day, and our tubes turned out to be difficult to steer when we had a child to hold onto. Suffice it to say, I eventually flipped out of my tube. It was at a point where, try as I might, I couldn't get away from the edge, so when an overhanging tree came, and I was simply too high to go under it, I had to fall out. I can still see in my mind Liam going under the icy water (but popping up quickly)... feel the hard, slippery rocks beneath my feet and hands while I struggled to stand up for what seemed like a full minute as the river carried me swiftly on, knowing that at least I was holding Liam's head out of the water... hear Jeremy yelling at me to "Stand Up!" and me yelling "I Can't!"... then the feel of my hair getting caught and pulled on a tree branch... and finally grabbing hold of a branch so that I would stop moving long enough to stand up. Then looking down river at my tube floating away.

Jeremy stood up and came over to us -- John was refusing to go any further after witnessing his mother's mishap -- and so there we stood at the edge of the Provo River yelling at each other trying to figure out what to do. Jeremy's mom came over, and, being the sacrificing woman she is, insisted that she would take the boys out while Jeremy and I floated on down. But we could see how scared our kids were, and there wasn't even any easy way up the bank where we were. It's a good thing we decided to all stay together, because the adventure wasn't over yet.

On the other side of the river from us was an RV campground, with some concerned ladies waving their arms and yelling, but we couldn't hear them over the river. Then a young man appeared, having walked across the river (which must have been hard), to help us up out of the river. He even offered his shirt for Liam to warm him up. Up the bank was a gravel service road which we would need to walk along, so it was a good thing we had our comfortable river shoes. Oohhh, wait. We left those in New Mexico. Jeremy's mother had one shoe (the other was lost in the river). So we walked slowly along carrying our tubes and children.

The man who'd come to help us ran forward to get his car, with John on his shoulders. Our feet were getting cut and burned... but in a stoke of ingenuity, I fashioned shoes for my mother-in-law out of an old dilapidated pair of boots with no soles. I had her step on them and tie the laces around her feet: we called them "pioneer boots" in honor of it being Pioneer Day. When we got to the very helpful and giving man's car (he couldn't just drive it to us because the road had one of those bars to keep cars out), his wife was there with snickerdoodles. Wonderful! I think John ate quite a lot of them.

I had some great bumps on my leg, that turned into the best looking bruises. My mother-in-law had me model my purple badges of courage as she retold the story the next day at the family reunion. I know I should have taken a picture for you all to see, but... coordination like that is not my forte.
The moral of the story:

Don't you DARE take your baby tubing on the Provo River.

Too much water

Yesterday as I was unpacking, I noticed what I thought was a wet spot where Liam had spilled some water. But it came back after I dried it. Then it got bigger. By the evening we were calling our landlord about a suspected water leak. I wasn't worried.

This morning it was still there, plus a funny smell. The landlord sent over his handyman, who said it could either be easy, or terrible. He checked the bathrooms, the sink, the fridge, the swamp cooler... all were fine. So it pointed to a burst water pipe under the concrete slab. THAT would be the terrible one. He said he couldn't fix, so I waited several hours for the Roto Rooter guy to come.

MEANWHILE, Liam was being clingly and refusing to eat, John was whining about everything, I was trying to unpack my kitchen, the smell around the leak was growing, and I was hot, sweaty, and tired. I imagined them chopping the concrete under my hallway into pieces while I had to repack everything I had just unpacked and find somewhere else to live. The hole got big enough to necessitate new carpet, tile, walls...

And then the Roto Rooter man finally came, 3.5 hours late. He found even more water -- in John's room, seeping up over the kitchen tile... After drilling some holes through the concrete below the carpet, he determined the leak was not nearly so dire as I had been imagining. It was from the fridge after all.

I hope to see no more water on my floor in the next week!!

Now that was just ONE of the exciting incidents that have happened within a week. The other involves water, too. The Provo River -- it contains more water than my floor did today, but at least that water is supposed to be there.

Moving On

Monday, July 26, 2010.

This has been a very busy week. There is even an entire incident I'll have to save for another entry!

After a six-day stay in a hotel, we drove up to Moab, Utah for a quick visit to Arches National Park. We stayed the night in a hotel and drove into the park the next morning. It was my first time being there, and I alternated between admiring the awesome beauty and trying to figure out how the formations were created.

That afternoon we continued our trip up to the Salt Lake area where we had a reunion for Jeremy's mother's side of the family. I got to see most of my brothers- and sisters-in- law and nieces and nephews, some of whom had never seen Liam before. We all had a really good time.

It ended too soon, and we drove the eleven-hour trip back home yesterday. We slept on the floor last night (except for lucky me who had a nice camp pad).

Today the movers came with all our stuff, bright and early at 8 am. Jeremy had left at 7 am for his first day on the job, so that left me here with the boys, directing the movers. Not a difficult job, but I must have been on my feet a lot – they and my legs are sore.

Now the house feels more like ours, with all our stuff in it. I can see on Liam's face when he recognizes something he hasn't seen for a couple weeks, and it makes him glad.

We found this house about a week ago. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a dining room (which we won't be dining in) and a family room. Oh, and a garage! Grass here is extremely expensive – from a water-supply point-of-view – so our medium-sized yard has none. Just rocks, bushes, trees, and dirt. The house is old, and rented homes tend to be on the neglected side, so we'll have a lot of work to do (if we choose) to make it look nice. This afternoon I was scrubbing dirty kitchen cabinets!

Come on over and pitch in a hand! We'll even give you juice and pizza.

So, Here We Are

So, here I am in a hotel in Albuquerque. The kids are asleep, so Jeremy and I are confined to the half of the suite containing our bed and the bathroom. It's a nice hotel that Jeremy's work is putting us up in -- and a nice room -- with the usual pool and exercise facilities. It has a great breakfast every morning, and since it's an extended-stay hotel, dinners for three nights of the week. I can cook simple things in our little kitchen the rest of the time. The boys think it's a blast. So it's definitely not my lodgings that have me in a melancholy mood.

More likely it was going to church today to see not one familiar face, and missing my old ward terribly. Thinking about a project I wanted to try, and that so-and-so or so-and-so could help me with it... wait, they're all the way over there and I'm all the way over here. Driving around looking at all the apartments and houses and feeling so much stress about needing to find the "right one" -- quick, before we leave for a too-soon family reunion.

I'll probably realize eventually that this is just a short transition period, that it's supposed to be hard, and that I should look for my new opportunities here. But maybe I'm just not ready yet.

Moving

So tired now. For more than a week, we decluttered -- removing car loads of stuff to goodwill, the dump, recycling, etc. that we just didn't want to move across the country. Then we spent four days going through the house identifying all of the following things:

1. Things that we wanted to take in the car
2. Things that the movers can't take (liquids, aerosols, etc.)
3. Things we need to leave with the home (paint, fix-it supplies, etc.)

Yesterday we did several loads of laundry to clean all of our clothes one last time before our washer and dryer are taken away.

Tonight we went through everything one last time, did a final dishwasher load, and disconnected some equipment for them to take.

The movers arrive at 7:30AM tomorrow morning. Some great friends from church will have John and Liam so that they aren't under foot. I'm taking the car in to get the brakes tuned at the same time. Monday evening we plaster holes in the walls and touch up paint (with some friends from church). Tuesday we clean, clean, clean (with some great sisters from church). Wednesday I drive off into the sunset. Thursday, Heather and the boys fly out and (hopefully) I arrive in Albuquerque.

We sure will miss Chapel Hill. It's been our home for seven years. There have been so many great things that have happened. (Let's forget the other stuff.) We've made so many friends. We will really miss so much. But Albuquerque is closer to family, has the best job, and is Where We Should Go.

Chapel Hill, thanks for the memories, friendship, and love. Go Heels!

Fine.

My friends have informed me that I need to update my blog. It was news to me that they were even checking it, and I had given up on it -- for the second time.... But since we're moving away soon, I say,

Fine. I'll try again. But only because you're making me.

So it's been more or less crazy since April. Jeremy graduated, so we had his Mom out and threw a big party -- he applied to jobs all over and we didn't know if we were leaving NC or staying -- then we thought we were going to live in Pittsburgh -- then we thought we were going to stay here and I couldn't bring myself to start packing or selling the house -- then it turned out we were going to New Mexico (a "what...?" moment). Jeremy and I took a tiring trip out there where we tried (unsuccessfully) to find somewhere to live. -- Then we started getting this house ready to sell, and I think we (knowingly) gave ourselves less time than usual to do such a thing. Now here we are and think my head might fall off.

We have a few more days to get the house looking like someone would want to buy it. On Tuesday, I take the final which will complete one more class of my BA.

I can tell the stress and/or fatigue is getting to me because my fingernails are all bitten, my stomach frequently hurts, and I'm having some insomnia. I just have to plow through it all until it's done!

Right now I really, really, want some dessert, so it's a shame that I finished off all the brownies last night at 12:30. I dreamed that I found three Hershey chocolate bars in my house, and it was wonderful.

Albuquerque, here we come

We've accepted a job with Sandia National Labs. We'll be moving from Chapel Hill in mid-July. Now if only we could figure out where we're going to be living, and all of those other details... ;-)

Sick is not fun

As if anyone reading this didn't know that "sick is not fun", I thought I'd post about the not-funness of sickness. J got sick just over a week ago with a really croupy cough. Since I (Jeremy) had to work on graduating every day last week (Mon-Sat), poor Heather had to take care of him all day while also taking care of L. This included two nights of J waking us up multiple times.

We sent J back to school on Wednesday because all he had anymore was the cough. (He still has it. J will still be coughing days after the rest of us are all the way through it.)

L came down with it on Friday. His fever sat around 103 for two days (when not medicated). For one night, we were up with him and had to hold him on top of me for him to sleep for the last 3 hours of the night. The fever appears to have broken today, but his appetite still hasn't returned.

Heather and I have been low-grade sick for several days. I've got a dry cough. Heather and I have both been very tired.

We're slowly learning that kids and accidents are synonyms

This morning there was a small accident in our house. I was winding up the 50 ft internet cable we have to use because our wireless is so spotty, after getting the five year-old to finally stop hurdling it... when he decided he just hadn't had enough and tugged on it some more. The cord was laying along the shelf behind the heirloom lion statue... so boy tugging on cord led to family heirloom tumbling down. I watched in slow motion as it hit my laptop on the desk below the shelf and fell to the floor, breaking into several pieces. The baby added his scream to mine as he shuffled over to my feet. There was a dent in the laptop (proving to render the computer absolutely broken) and a scrape on the baby's lip where apparently a piece of the statue hit him. Three casualties.

Luckily for the kid, I had just watched a beautiful slide show about a mother fighting cancer who has remained positive and loving throughout the ordeal. I know the family, so it really pulled my heartstrings. Anyway, I was in a mind to realize that my kid was more important than my computer or any statue, heirloom or otherwise. We were grateful the baby hadn't been just three feet over from where he was, and got only a little nick.

Then I had a pretty good day.

Eat those green things; they make you tall.

That's what I overheard my pediatrician saying once to another child as he wrapped up with him/her to come in for my child's checkup.

I've recently decided that I need to eat more vegetables. So, I went to the library and got a few cookbooks to help me.

One thing I wanted to cook was kale. Dark green, leafy vegetables are supposed to be very good for us. They're also not very well liked outside of the American South. I once tried making mustard greens the way my Tennessee-native grandmother cooks them. We threw them away. We'll eat the occasional meal with spinach, but mostly my husband turns his nose up at it. But a year ago I had made a beef and barley soup with kale in it, and we all liked it, so I wanted to give kale another try.

Last night I made kale with potatoes and bacon, and it was very good. The recipe was simple: boiled potatoes; boiled kale; sauteed onions; a little crumbled bacon; salt and pepper. It was better than we expected it to be. The five year-old didn't want it (he doesn't even like potatoes), but the husband _really_ liked it and the baby enjoyed sharing my leftovers today. If you've never had cooked kale, it tastes somewhat like cooked broccoli. And goes well with potatoes.

How do you get your greens?

Breathe Deeply

Q: Are peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches good?
A: Yes.

These are the types of things I have time for when I can't fall asleep at night. I went to bed two hours ago only to cough or gasp every time I got relaxed enough. The asthma is acting up again, and it's really pretty bad for no good reason. If this is a result of my new medication (which I LOVE) then sadness for me. About halfway in to this insomnia I thought I'd use my inhaler, but having used it so much already in the past 48 hours, the stimulant effect was too strong and woke me up even more. Thus the sandwich.

Try one sometime. (The sandwich, not the inhaler.)

Back again after a supreme hiatus

You thought I had given up on this blog. So did I! But we've gotten past the first nine months of the baby's life and I'm getting enough sleep!

A couple days ago I made some black bean soup that was so good! This isn't a detailed recipe, just a list of the ingredients:

black beans, cooked from dry by Jer
lots of frozen corn
dried minced onion (had no fresh)
green pepper
fresh tomato
some water
chicken bouillon
frozen cilantro (Mmm. When I buy a bunch of cilantro, I chop it up and put it in a gallon freezer bag with some water. I let it freeze flat so I can break chunks off as needed.)
garlic powder (contemplated the garlic clove... too lazy)
whole cumin seeds, crushed a bit with back of spoon

It simmered a while. Then we each seasoned it to our liking with salsa and hot sauce at the table. Jer added shredded cheese. The baby even liked it (although I took some out for him before adding the chicken bouillon so he wouldn't get the salt and MSG).

I was too tired to make cornbread to go with it, but luckily we had tortilla chips, and together it was delicious! Leftovers the next day were just as good.