This Christmas

So this year I was running behind and wanted to have a picture of the boys for our family Christmas card, but was not sure that was going to happen until a friend, Julie Williams Photography and a volunteer with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep announced she was doing a fundraiser NILMDTS called Cookies with Santa. I got everything all set for the boys, and then learned I had to work so I sent John with the boys hoping all will go as planned. Lets just say I got more then I expected. The pictures turned out fabulous and finally had that picture that I could mail out to friends and family. These are some of my favorites:

Jarren telling Santa what he wants for Christmas

I love how Jacob is so excited to speak with Santa

I love Santa's expression the best as he listens to Joseph

Then here is my unexpected surprise getting a picture with Santa and Jocelyn's butterfly. Thank You Julie it really meant a lot.

And here is my most favorite. A picture with my three Sunshine's and my Angel. Perfect to be sent to all our friends and family for Christmas.

I am so grateful this year to know we are surrounded by many loved ones who care for us as much as we do all of you. I really hope that everyone can have a joyful Christmas and to take a moment and think upon who's birthday we are celebrating. I feel blessed to have a testimony of our savior Jesus Christ and look forward to teach my children of him and the many blessings he has given us in this life and the life to come.

I did write a yearly Christmas letter but was not able to get a copy in every one's card so if you missed it or did not get one here is a copy of what I wrote:

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this holiday season finds you well and surrounded by lots of loved ones. It seems like yesterday that we just welcomed in 2011 and now we are preparing to say good bye to it with the celebration of the birth of Christ.

This year has been busy and full of your typical ups and downs, but we are all doing well and looking forward to Christmas and the New Year. John and I are both working which is such a blessing when so many others are not and we have ourselves felt the pressures of being out work in the past. The Boys are doing fabulous and growing faster everyday.

Jarren is 9 ½ soon to turn 10 in March. He is proving to be a smarty pants in school. It is crazy to think that he is in the 4^th grade. He just completed his Bear in the scouting program and is currently playing basketball through the Jr Jazz program. We also just in rolled him in karate, well grandma did anyway. Karate is proving to be one the best things as it teaches confidence, respect, and honor. Jarren is truly our little peacemaker and loves to help care for his brothers. Well at least most of the time.

Jacob is 7 and becoming so grown up in the 1^st grade. He is our most picky one. He loves to just be at home and will tell you that he hates to eat anything you make, unless it is hot dogs, nuggets, or a steak. He is what most would say is an old soul. He truly sees and understands more about Christmas then most children and where his sister is. He also is taking karate and playing Jr Jazz Basketball.

Joseph is 5 and oh my, he is the most animated child who has no fear to tell you like it is. He will never let the day get boring or quiet. If it does become quiet then I know I am sure there is more then a mess taking place. Joseph is in Preschool and loves going and learning. He is always asking when he will get to go to Kindergarten. Joseph played soccer this past fall and will get to start karate this next year as well.

You can always found out the latest on our family blog at www.jhfiles.blogspot.com, at least when I update it which seems to be every couple of months lately. But we love the visitors and comments at anytime.

We wish you all the best for this Christmas Season and New Year. Love and Miss you all so much.

The Files Family

November's Facbook Challenge

In November there was a challenge to post a status update everyday through Thanksgiving to share what it is that you are thankful or grateful for. I wanted to participate last year but could not get myself there even though there were many things I was grateful for despite that I was still processing a lot emotionally. So this year I was going to follow through on this with this challenge. At 1st it seem simple and there were days that I struggled with it, but it was my out look that changed and carried with me through the whole month and being able to set aside anger, disappointments and other struggles we have and were facing. To stop and see that there are so many wonderful things going on in and around our lives. So Thank You Facebook family and friends for sharing your thankfulness and allowing me to share mine.And as a recap for those that do not follow Facebook here is my November thoughts of gratitude:


 Day 1. I am thankful for my small part time Job that has helped in a time of need for both myself and my family 
 
Day 2. I am thankful for the wonderful people I work with you except me for me and know how to make me laugh.

  Day 3. I am so thankful and grateful for my fabulous hubby John Files who does more then his share, loves more everyday, and is truly the best father.

Day 4- I am thankful for my 1st born Jarren who introduced me to motherhood and all its joys and his sweet spirit to care for his younger brothers and his sister in heaven.

Day 5- Yesterday I spoke of my oldest...so today I am thankful for my 2nd child Jacob, who tests my patients with his picky eating, loves to stay home, and his sincere testimony that Christ will come again so his sister can be alive again. Thanks for being my little rock of a reminder.

Day 6- I have been sharing my thankfulness of my children the last few days so....Today I am thankful for my youngest son Joseph who always speaks his mind & is always keeping me on my toes with his cute wit & the cute things he whispers in my ear to get me out of bed in the morning.

Day 7- Today I am thankful for the beautiful 9 months I had carrying my daughter Jocelyn and the 24 hours I got to hold her after her birth. Although I ache to not have her in my arms today I am blessed and grateful for the brief moments I did have and love that was felt between us during that time.

Day 8- Today I am thankful for the best family and friends!! You are an amazing support, except me the way I am, and I am honored to have you in my life. ♥

Day 9- Today I am thankful for my parents who have taught me to have faith in our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to see us through our darkest moments. For always being there growing up and giving us memories that can fill our hearts.

Day 10- Today I am thankful for my brother Sean and my sister Heather for the special bond we have and closeness that we share. Even though Sean and I do not get see Heather as much as we would like.

Day 11- Today I am thankful for this country we live in. for the freedoms we have to chose for ourselves and the men & women who work hard to protect those freedoms. Thinking of those service men & women on this veterans day 11-11-11.

Day 12- Today I am thankful for Dr. Pepper & Fancy Chocolate they make everything better even if just for a moment.

Day 13- Today I am thankful for being a volunteer with Share Parents of Utah and having the honor to hold an angel and make feet and hand molds today. And to be in company of some of the most amazing women I have ever met.

Day 14- Today I am thankful that we are in year round school. I love having short little breaks through out the year to have my kids home with me and to spend extra time with them. Followed by the quite after they go back to school. But I must say I miss them today even though they have just been home for the past 3 and half weeks.

Day 15- Today I am grateful for Books that teach us about our savior Jesus Christ and his plan for us, books that teach of the past and where we came from, books that teach us how to learn and do things, books of true stories that inspire us, and books that take us to far away places or times where we can become or do the unthinkable.

Day 16- Today I am thankful for the organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and my photographer Jennifer Hollingshead Holt without them I would not have my precious pictures of my daughter. They have meant so much to my family and continue to bring joy knowing that she is forever part of our family.

Day 17- I know I have already talked about books, but today I am thankful for a particular book series that turned me into a crazy person resulting into a member of fan sight of other TwilightMOMS which then led to some fabulous and amazing women where some have become more then friends they are my sisters who are always there for me and I them. Thank You for blessing my life Jori Nichol Thomas, Amy Stevens Reed, Amie Galloway Patton, Chelsea Bingham McGee, Stephanie Knowles Urry, Amy Norris Henstra. Michelle Radford Bernales and Mandy Kongaika...there are so many of you I love and it is all because of stupid vampire that sparkles crying out loud. ;)

Day 18- Yes I have spoken of my sweet hubby, but today I am so thankful for my hubby John he really does put up with a lot. He supports me in all I do even when I think he does not. He had a bed set up & ready last night after the movie for my friend from Nv & took care of the kids today for me.

Day 19- I am thankful for (I know cheesy) Netflix streaming to be able to stay in my jammies all day on a cold snowy day watching shows with my dear friend Michelle.

Day 20- Today I am thankful to my friend Michelle Saylo Coltrin for coming all the way from Nevada to hang with me for Breaking Dawn and allowing me to get her addicted to Vampire Dairies. Yes we made it a Vampire weekend. Love you Michelle.

Day 21-Today I am thankful for hot water to shower in when it is cold out & to make yummmy hot coco to keep me warm on the in side.

Day 22- Today I am thankful for my schedule that allows me to volunteer in Jarren & Jacob's class at school as well as Joseph's preschool class. I love to see them in their classroom setting and how their faces light up when I am there.

Day 23 & Day 24- I am truly thankful for all four of my children who have each blessed my life individually & have made me who I am today. They are my three Sunshine's & an angel♥ I am thankful for my family all them from parents to siblings to cousins to grandparents & aunt/uncles for "We may not have it together, but together we have it all" Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

 I would love to challenge everyone to take a month and right down each day one thing that they are grateful or thankful for and see how your out look and positive thing change and truly help you to feel better. I am glad that I did and hope to do it again in a daily journal.

October Sweet October

Yes I am finally updating....

October has become one our most busiest of months and favorites with birthdays, angel walk, and Halloween.......
We stared this month off by doing a combined birthday party for both Jacob and Joseph, with Jacob turning 7 and Joseph turning the big 5 and their birthdays are only a week apart felt this would be the best way to celebrate. We took them the a place called Fun in Motion where they were able to invite 3 friends each and have a blast with laser tag, laser maze, jump houses, and games. I love it because they were not messing up the house and all I had to do was bring a cake which my fabulous brother Sean made with the help of his beautiful wife Natalie. Fun in Motion did the rest. Yay!!! Me!!! The best part is that it cost me less then what I would have paid to put things together at my home. Now that is even a better deal!!!

The Cake: Jacob loves Disney Cars and Joseph dreams of when he will be Bumble Bee the Transformer.

The Birthday Boys Jacob and Joseph

Jacob opening his presents. I think he is enjoying it.

The Whoa!! moment of I love this present for Jacob.

Joseph excited he finally got a Halo mega block set

Joseph Focused on opening another gift.

The Birthday boys with their friends and brother Jarren just before going for a round of Laser tag.

After all the Birthday fun and excitement calm down comes October 15th national Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness. Where we are able to attend a special walk to remember sponsored by Share parents of Utah. This was special since it was my 1st time as volunteer with Share parents and to be involved to help put on such a beautiful event for not just my family but for all those that have had loss of a child in infancy or before birth. This will be an event I will look forward to each year.

The 2011 Share parents board volunteers

This years t-shirt and theme

The back of the shirt with all the baby names listed. Jocelyn's is in the far right column.

My friend Jessica and myself handing out the balloons for the name reading and release

John and I with Joseph. Jacob was hiding and Jarren was a birthday party this past year.

A display of the services and support that Share parents does for families that are grieving the loss of a child.

All the balloons

Our date for the sealing up little tokens or letters to sweet little angels.

Everyone gathering for a short program before the walk

My dad behind John and the boys on the walk

Jocelyn's balloon that everyone has signed and colored on

Jarren's picture to be sealed up in the vault for his sister since he was not able to come.

John with the boys releasing Jocelyn's balloon after name was read.

Then as the month goes on and the boys still being thrilled with their birthday toys and the sweet remembrance of our little angel Jocelyn comes all the fun and excitement of dressing up as something else or to pretend to be someone else all for the sake of candy....Halloween!!! It really is a fav for me. I love playing dress up.  But before we get all dressed up and knock on doors for trick or treating we must go to the pumpkin patch to pick out the most perfect of pumpkins and then carve them.

The Boys Jarren, Joseph, and Jacob at the Pumpkin patch

The boys with their cousin Sophia let the fun begin

Jacob found his perfect pumpkin

Joseph with his perfect little one

Jarren is so proud of his large choice

 Now that the pumpkins have been picked and loaded up, off to enjoy the carving and turning them into Jack-O-Lanterns.....

Jarren gutting his and face drawn on to begin carving. Joseph is not happy waiting his turn...hehehe

Ok so Joseph has no patients, but at least his face is drawn on.

John helping Jacob with his while Jacob checks out what Jarren is doing

Jacob playing in the pumpkin guts

See Joseph uncle Sean will help ya out!!

Jarren carving his all on his own. He wanted no help and to be very independent.

They look great even though I took the picture several days later.

I think that wraps up the prep work for the big day. Awe wait we have to reveal our costumes and how scary or strong we are for tricks and treats.....

Me and my Sunshine's all ready go a trick or treating. Yes I dressed up a little as well.

Here we have Jacob as our scary Ninja, Joseph is our shining Knight in armor, and Jarren our Grim Reaper with a not so sweet knife.

Now we are off to collect our yummy treats or tricks....

Looks like the buckets are getting full...yumm!!!

So as you can see October comes with all kinds of great adventures and events to celebrate or honor. It will go down as one of the best times of the year to celebrate birthdays, honor little angels that left to soon, and collect candy dressed as someone else for one night....Until next October Sweet October

Room Makeover

My only thing that I wish I had was a before picture, which was deleted off my cell phone a few months after Jocelyn was born.....Yes I wish I had not acted so irrational and emotional about deleting it. I know you would have thought I would have kept it since I am so big on preserving  every little moment good and bad....

After Jocelyn's passing I could not bring myself to even look at her room, but I also was not ready for it to be taken down. So her room was left just they way I had put it together with a crib in place all cozy with her purple flowers and purple butterfly bedding, a dresser full little onesies and layettes, and a closet full of the cutest little baby girl outfits. It was so perfect.

It sat like that for six months with the door closed. I know I stood in front of that door on several occasions thinking that I was ready to look at it, but never could bring myself to do it. At the 6 month mile stone John and I both went in, although he had gone in there himself over those 6 months.We together took it down and packed it all away. It was very hard to do and some what emotional. But when it was done we felt good as though we made a step forward.

So there we are with this empty room only an blank crib and empty dresser that did not mean anything to me since they were the same dresser and crib that the boys used when they were born. We did move the boys little Cars T.V. in there and the boys slowly starting using the empty space to play Lego's.But the room did not have an identity or a purpose for the most part. Well at least until today.

18 months later we have taken the crib all the way down and have turned the room into a play/media room. It feels nice to have the room looking bright and cheery again. There are still a few things to be done with it, but other then that the boys love it.....

Angle one of the room makeover...The dresser now contains all the kid DVDs, extra Lego pieces, and other misc items. Up against the wall is a small table perfect for Lego play and build.

The built in book shelves have been reorganized . Along the wall are new bookshelves. It is proven that if a book is displayed cover out for the child to see the cover title it will encourage them to want to pick it up and read it. The secret to the new shelves is they are simple rain gutters.

Angle 3: The Lego table, Lego display shelf, and another rain gutter shelf for favorite DVDs and seasonal books.

The only thing left is to bring up the rest of their toys, well what is left of them. John and I have been going through them and down sizing them a lot!!. I love their new space because it is nice and cozy for me to even sit in there and read to them.

Joseph's Preschool Field Trips

At the end of Jan this past year Joseph and his preschool class went to the Dinosaur Museum. It was one of the best time he and I had together. Because it was just us and no one else. Joseph has always been fascinated with the meat eaters. His face as he looked at things was always great and with such wonder!!

Joseph playing in the water and sand. This where the kids can play with toy Dino's and build their own Jurassic setting.

Joseph with his favorite part of the whole trip!!! Joseph LOVES!!! Sharks!!! When we came around the corner and he saw this Megladon Shark he was in heaven. In fact if you ask what he likes to watch on TV he will tell you Shark Week and Jaws on Netflix.

Digging for bones

I decided to be a nice mommy and let him get something from the gift shop. Are you surprised on what he picked? Not at all!!!

In February we went to the air national guard. Another favorite of Joseph's is the helicopters and fighter plans. Yes he life destruction. Sometimes I wonder if I should be worried. But at the end of the day he is all love and cuddles.

Joseph checking out the in side of the fighter helicopter

Yes we must pose with the fire arms...

His preschool class

Sitting inside a black hawk.

And of course trying the gear and how heavy it was.

 

 

Sorry the poor picture quality.....These were on my cell since I did not have batteries for the camera, but who knows maybe these would have been better then the camera in the long run. hehehe