why??? why???

I thinks is human nature to ask "WHY"......
Why they ask "WHY".....
Because they need to know or should know or curious about lor or they want to "38"....lol
Well, I also find out I like to ask "WHY" recently......
Just now I tried not to ask, but at last I ask it.....
But my purpose is just want to make sure about the promise that he made....(find myself an excuse)
The promise that somehow broke by himself......
At least he gave me an acceptable reason.....
So, I'll forgive you for this time....
But, please not to do it the second time.....
What I'll do, you also very clear about it already......
And I'll not ask "WHY" again to you, if it is not necessary.....
See you soon, take care~

p/s: dun ask "WHY" so much, it's annoying~

nothing alright in my life....

Life really sucks doesn't it?
How you predict you life should be?
Do you always live a life in the way you want?

Huh, but unluckily I am not, the life I live always goes out of my control.....
What can I do?
I never afford anything really good in my life, I just wish too be swimmingly,
did i really greedy?
But i don't think so......

My happy day just get ruined by one brainless guy, who do not think before the words to say....
I'm wondering what's his brain is used for.....
For cheating girls, bragging or something else like ask for money from the parents...
Tell you that you are nobody, you are just a prodigal, someone who are useless.....
So please drag your ass off from my life, I really hate the people like you.....
Stay away from now on!

How deep is the hurts you bring to me, you'll not discovered it....
Now I'll tell you, you make me cry whole night, I'll make you suffer for you whole life.....
So, please watch out yourself!

Really nothings go better since the first time we met!

回忆。。。

今天，10月的最后一天也就是明天就是11月的迈入~突然觉得时间过得好快！总觉得生活没什么色彩，改变和高潮跌起~刚才冲凉时，突然想了一个问题“到底有什么比死亡来的可怕?" 然后，我觉得忘记某件事情很可怕~试想想有一天你突然想不起任何一件事，脑袋一片空白，或是你最重要的回忆消失了——你把你最爱的人的脸忘了，再也想不起，你会怎么做？

想象你的回忆就像墙上的油漆一片片剥落，落到了地上，被一场大雨冲走了，久而久之再也没人想起那道墙最初的颜色是什么~就像我们的脑袋一直被新的回忆和事物有所取代而逐渐忘了旧的~我好怕有一天，我闭上眼睛却回忆不到那张再熟悉不过的样子~

就像有些事值得重来，有些不值得重来也不值得往回看，有些却是你想重来却不能重来的事~人们却往往没有选择的余地，因为一切以有所安排~所谓人要跌到后才会成长，辛苦后才会幸福，失去后才会珍惜，哭过了才会微笑，失败后才会成功~太容易得到的东西，永远学不会珍惜。。。

毕竟享受过程才会找到快乐~我总觉得幸福是用痛苦换来的但有人说那是用你的努力和辛苦的付出换回来的而不是痛苦！这代表每个人看事情的角度并不一样~就像一个人用一个杯子看世界和一个人用万花筒看世界，谁的世界会比较缤纷色彩~

原来，看着自己喜欢的人的背影也是一件幸福的事~但如果有一天你不再属于我，那将会是一个对我来说很美好的回忆，因为你由始至终都不会知道原来我暗恋了你那么久~呵呵~不过，暂时为止我的回忆依然是美好的但还是有坏的，不过它会是我学习的回忆~我至今仍然保存这那些美好的，希望它不要有退色或是被遗忘的一天~

那你的回忆是好是坏呢？想把它保留还是忘了，自己抉择吧！不过还是祝你有美好的回忆~^6^

without an answer & also a reason....

I bought a book few months ago in the book exhibition, last few days I go back to my home and there are damn boring without bringing my dearly laptop along, so I decided to find somethings to do~ In a sudden, the book said " pick me, pick me! " Seems like I heard that so I took it out from the paper bag....What I do next was I turnover the page of the book and after few pages I fall asleep~><"

Yesterday, my class ends at 2p.m~ after i reach home, I became a cleaner and started to vacuum up my room, when I stepped out from my room, Oh my god! I saw the floor are full with hair then I decided to clean it up....What next~I cleaned up the bathroom too~ after cleaned all the things up and I took a shower and took a nap~ I woke up nearly 7p.m....after my dinner, I lay on my bed by doing nothing~suddenly, I heard a sound " take a look on me, please~" I turn my head on and take it up and read it~

It makes me addicted on it.....The book name is " The Pact"~ I keep on reading untill 12.30a.m and is time for me to sleep to prepare for tomorrow morning class.....so, placed the book beside my bed and have my sweet dreams~ What I want to say now is the book is really nice because it catches my eyes on it and addicted to it~

What the book is about? It is about a story about a pair of teenagers that name Chris and Emily, there are best friends, lover, neighbors and even soul mates since they were born. They even have a good life which the both families are good friends. But things changed when the seventeen year old Emily dead with a gunshots wound on the head, and Chris survived~ Chris comes out with words that said " We intend to commit suicide together..." This story are about family, friends, lover and the most important things are " Do we really know and understand our children at all?"

Although, some parts of the story are without answer and also reasons~but it worth to read.....now, I still keep searching for a book that I longs for it "The Turkish Diplomat's Daughter".....

turn around.....and forget it~

Can I? Turn around and forget him? I thought that I can win your heart one day, but what i have seen too hard to achieve.... I thought that I had forgot you just like easy as erased you from my memory~ but it proved that I'm wrong....

Look at me~ if can what I hope is to hear that you say "you hate me"....as long as the words can make me feel that you are hate me and I'll cut off my feeling towards you~ you have the right to be happy and blissful~ but you know sometimes people are selfish and greedy, this is the nature of person....who will so kind to offer the person he/she like to others? If can I hope that you just belong to me~but that is impossible~ I had no choice, so what I can do is let you go~ I swore that I have no courage to tell you what I'm thinking~

Is too hard for me to reach what I want~ask yourself do you ever wonder what a person am I, or even see me through eyes to eyes? I can told you that, it is too bad, you did not ~ Can I just turn my back and if I look back again, can you live happily and blissfully ever after that can make me happy also~ Please remember although you did not belong to me but can you do me the favour? You have the right to chase after what you want and the things belong to you~I'll choose to turn around this time without look back, if there are anything happen then I'll wait around the corner to look after you, whenever you fall apart I'll stay beside of you and stand by you~that's my promise to you~but, is time to turn around and forget~

행복을 기억~또 다른 구석에서, 나는 영원히 당신을 보호한다 보호자~

my thoughts~

I'm so bored now, so I up to blog this time.....i'm bec to my hometown yesterday night, and i had chatted wiv my mum and auntie about some problems of my so-called "habitation".........in previous post i had mentioned that I have a really worst relationship with my housemates, so now, I most recently staying in someplace that provide me lotta of care, warmth and also love~here,I gonna thanks them by my sincere heart for who that always stay by my side~

back to the conversation of my aunt and mum.....actually we discussed about whether I still wanna continue my study to degree or not~but according to my senior, who asked me continue my degree then.....he mentioned that although I am suffering right now for a tough course like that, but in the future I might get a really "payable" job and i might "talent" in my career.....so I'm considering it.....actually, I mentioned about I want to get a job and work to quit study for sometimes, this is because keep studying really will make one's life become dull....but what told by him was work is very suffer, and the suffer is as what that I can't imagine at all......

but, I'm a person who always crave for the freedom~i don't like to be just tie up in one situation~I want make some different in my life......I wanna try and try no matter how pain I have fall, I wanna try and try and make my life to be colourful, I don't care how bad was the result I get from what I wish~I want to light up my life, I wanna try a lot of things......although you try to break my wings, but I don't care......although I really need to crawl towards it, I will do so....I won't give up so easily this time~

marriages

Actually, marriage or not marriage, is that very important to someone? Today, I had my family counseling class, the question that given are " Are you strongly agreed with marriages?" & "Are you strongly disagreed with marriages?" For me, I stood in the "strongly disagreed with marriages", not because i do not likes guy, but I have my own perspectives towards this "marriages" kind of things.....

For me, I don't think that every love couples need to step into "marriages", without "marriages" a couple still can live blissfully ever after.....and what I viewed about "marriages" was just a certificate that proved that I had say goodbye to my single hood, the paper that chained me up, but it doesn't guaranteed that it can make me happy, blissful or loved forever by someone...... Who DARE to say that "marriages" can make both of the spouses will bond together forever?

I said that, not because I choose not to be responsible, but not everyone suit to be "marriage" and not everyone know how to deal with a family or start a family that may have to bear with children......maybe anyone of you will think that this things can be learn, but if you really do not fully prepared yourself to own a family, what will happen in the future, you may hurt someone you do not wish too, you may destroyed a happy family, you may hurt the innocent children.....what do you think? "marriages" is that good? or is that perfect? Please do not think everything gonna be easy as you think, there are a lot of conflicts in it?

For me, dating, marriages and also stayed single had it's own advantages.....but I just feel that marriage is not suit me that lots~

life is fragile~

this month not a really good month for me~somehow i realized that there are a lot of things that we can't dominate at all, i hate this kind of feeling~really frustrated....

within a month, i received two bad news, the first, my uncle passed away.....well, my mum didn't tell me until the day before his funeral, the second was my best friend's dad passed away, i've been informed on the day i come back to KL from my hometown....what a sad month for me, full with sorrowful......

then, i realized that we can't hold all things with both of our hands, although we wish too, when more tightness we hold our hand, the lesser we get, what if you open up your hand, maybe you'll get something out of the blue and maybe the more you get......try to open up your hands, perceive all the things that happened, go through it with the courage that you have, faced it and solve it, if you can't solve it or deny to faced it, then try to put it under the unconscious, as time goes by, and when the day you feel that you have ready to or you have sufficient of mental construction to face and to solve it, then you can make it through....believes in yourself and the faith that you have......

for me, i have a little secret that i kept very deep in my unconscious that i don't really want to talk about or even think about it.....a things that you can imagine it may defame my life.....i can't even faced it until now....i been tried really hard to forget it, but i really can't....it always linger in my mind, it even had changed my mind and perspectives towards some things.....

i had go through a hard times that really made me changed a lot, although i can't go through that time, but i forced too....although i know how much i cherish him and love him, but he still left me, he left me to a place that maybe full of joy,i can't confirm about it, but i knew that he went to a place that really really far from me, a place that can't turn your head back,never ever, a place that called--heaven.......

maybe a person needs to grow matured or learned from a situation that you're not willing too....but, there are no any choices for you to choose it.....if you can choose a things to happen now,what would you choose？for me, i will choose that the time can turn over again, let me go back to the time i wish to, but it is impossible.......except, you may dream about it....cherish what you have now, forget about the unhappiness pass, start to learn to look forwards, don't look back anymore, maybe there are something good that waiting for you to explore it.....although life is short and fragile, but you can make it better and full of meaning......bless you all @ all da' best^^

genting trip~

last saturday i went to genting, the place which i craved it for so long~hehe.....i go with my friends, which we always plan but always failed.......1 year time i didn't visit there.....actually, going there is a good therapy to release my stress, cause i can shout as loud as i can when i playing such an exciting game~wow~really fun~

my happy genting trip~here come the "leng zai" i get~haha~

next target, i wanna crave for my Redang trip~hehe~

missing crazily~

i had back to my hometown last tuesday, and i'm going back at tomorrow morning.......sorry, for you guys that i didn't phone or sms to notice that i'm back,cause i need some rest......i miss my home, and felt like no mood to go back la~

the day i back, i'm going to sit with a strangers, a malay guy, and suddenly a guy waves his hand to me in the bus, he is my friend's bro, and i feel luckily i meet him up, so i can change the place and sit with him, so i ask the guy whether he mind to change the place, and he said he not mind, so i change the place and sit with my friend's bro, let's call him mr. Q.....

in the way home, we chatted a lot la.....haha......i found that mr. Q is quit a humorous guy ya.....although i didn't meet him for so long....but still nothing changes....that was a changes, he was "attach".....haiz......whatever la.....but i have full up my eyes when i was waiting for the bus to back to my hometown, cause a lot of "leng zai" stand beside me, and they all are "ang mo".....wah, so happy ler......

i'm in bad mood now la, a minutes ago, i unblock a american guy, whom i block him for about 3mths ago, he is really noisy la....what he do just now really made me piss off, he throwing his tantrum to me.....what the hell ya~i didn't do nothing also......arghhhhhhh.........really crazy ar.....forget about it......i really hate this kind of people, really ridiculous......

suddenly, i thinking about a guy that i know from blog, a humorous + handsome + cute( although i just been chat with him once, but he give me a good impressions)........haha....anyway, he is not in a good conditions or situations right now.....but i hope he can go through it, gambateh to him in his life and his love too~ aza aza fighting~

gud nite~

craps~

well, i had fully recovered from the "chickenpox"... and i attended my class yesterday....what was happened was the tutors ask me not to speak because she scared she will get infections.....what she told me was like that "hey you, "chickenpox girl" you better don't talk".....do u seen or meet any tutors like her....scared to die a.k.a "kiasi"....wakaka....do you know the full name of "PhD"?.....the answer from her was "permanent head damaged"........well, forget about it....

recently, i read a lot of other people's blog....and i found out that now is the season that broke up with your behalf is it? my friends also broke up with her behalf.....why will this happen? is there no forever that exist? but what i realized was there are not right or wrong in a love relationships, there are only who do not not how to cherish each other in a relationship......

there are some people that very care about his or her behalf, but what they repay back was just betray them.......but some of them was cherished by someone, but they don't know it, and feel that their half do not love them or even cares about him, so they will keep doing something that hurt their ownself and the one who loved them~

i would like to say that, please cherish the one who stay beside you now, don,t let them down, not everyone have the second chance to retrieve it......

the day for "chickenpox" ~

so long didn't update my blog.....cause i am in my vacation to cure my "chickenpox"....i hate it.....well, my 19th birthday, what i got for my birthday present was the stupid "chickenpox"......it make mine beautiful skin (LOL) look like......don't know how to describe it......haiz~

now is the assignment period buut i have no mood to do the assignment cause of the "chickenpox".......i can't even go back to my own house because there are some people that do not have it yet....so i stay in my friends's house until it recover....how pity am i......but nevermind, i stayed here got people took care of me and cooked for me......here, how blissful am i......i suddenly think of, sometimes get sick was not really bad, it got the advantages also.......when you're hoping someone to care about you.....i want to take more rest......after i recovered i will updated it again....about my birthday present......


p/s: thanks very much for you all who took care of me.......^0^

trust between you and me ?

If there is no hope,
then do not give me hope,
do not let me have the imagination,
do not give me hope that once again deprived of it,
cannot be completed as promised,
so do not promised easily,
please don't broke the dream that u give me,
again and again,
you know how it hurts?
it just will broke the trust between you and me....

如果没有希望，
那就不要给我希望，
不要让我有想象空间，
不要给了我希望，
又一次一次的剥夺它，
就像不能完成的承诺，
就不要轻易许下，
请不要一再的剥夺你给我的美梦，
你知道我的心是多痛吗？
那只会毁了你我之间仅存的信任感...........

birthday mood~

birthday~ did birthday very important to you all? do everyone of you waiting for the day to come? what do you expect in that day? a surprised? or dissapointed (cause no people remember it)? tomorrow is my friend's birthday, "sky, happy birthday ya....."

today, i asked my friend to accompany me to JUSCO to buy present and some groceries too....LOL....after bought the present we went to OLD TOWN to have our lunch......suddenly, my friend, hui ling asked " joanne, what present do you want in your coming birthday?is better that you tell me what you want, cause i dont know want to buy what for you....." then i answered " i also don't know what i want...." actually, i really still not in that mood yet.....there are a lot of reasons....

• the phobia of getting older and older, this is the last year for me, then my age will started with the number, 2
• after he left me, i somehow feel birthday is not important anymore....
• for how long i did'nt celebrated it with my family, i can't even remember it
• what i need, no ones knew about it (i didn't mentoned about it before)

about the question my friend asked about....said honestly, i really don't know what i want.....but instead of the material satisfaction.....i more appetence towards:

• love
• care
  
• warmth
• friendships

i felt like i needed them badly, if not i think i will fall apart when i reach some phase.....i hope i cant get them from you all....haha....am i greedy? don't ever tell me that i greedy, caused i can't get it from the people that who supposed provide it for me, so i had to grab it by myself.....haha.....

last.....i gonna sing a "birthday's song" for sky....

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to sky,
happy birthday to you........

"wish you happy always, stayed healthy and dreams come true always"

see how good i treated you,haha.......

funny tutorial class.....

today, i had a really funny tutorial class, actually we all had to present all the tutorial questions in this tutorial.....and our tutor will shared his life experienced with us....and this subject is "Family Therapy"......well, story started like this.....my classmate was presenting about the life cycle question and keep going with the vertical stressors questions......and suddenly...

mr. b : why you all feel so shy to talk about husband things? (because the presenter is a girl)

L4 : because we are shy.....we waited for our fate to come.....

mr. b : what? what generation now? you all still wait for the fate to come?

L4: yes....

mr.b : come on! you all should chased for it....

me : so shy~ what if the boy rejected?

mr.b : if the boy rejected, then forget about it and find a new one....(point at me)....she has vertical stressors.....she think girl should wait for the people to woo.....

me : (in the heart).....if so easy why i still wait wor, if so easy i already go for it la.....

mr.b : ask the boy to sit down, and giv him a cup of ice water, then said i like you, what do you think about it....(the purpose of the ice water is to cool down the people first)....

L4 : hahaha....(laugh insanely)(thinking why our's tutor so open minded)


actually i am shocked about it, but some of the statement of him i still have to nod my head, cause i agree about it...haha....then we keep going for our tutorial....still a lot funny things behind....share with you all next time....hehe....lazy wanna type it now.....

brings me out of loneliness and reach for my next "rainbow"

passing through the rainbow alone~loneliness

coffee narcotic my loneliness
the sky in my heart turns dark
you ain't my sunshine anymore
what you brings to me was only the pain
thanks for the hurts that you brings me
i earned a good lessons from you
i learned that i can stand up from where i falls
a good memory you brings me just like spring
the day you left me is just like a winter
the happiness and joys let me feel like summer
my heartbroken just like autumn
a wound that can't even can cure
there was a scar on it
that was the mark that proved you've been stayed
the tears that bleed without any feelings
maybe i know that it never belongs to me
whenever past, now or even future
it just passing by, like a strangers
it should be like that
i wished i could be cruel like you
but i can't, i hate this kind of me
when is my turn to shine?
when was the time that you'll cry for me
just for once?
i want be the person that shine for others people
i want to be the one who make others to happy
but as love is fading, i became more dull.....
waiting for the next rainbow that brings me happiness....
would you be the one of my rainbow?
rainbow always happened after the rain....
will it come to me?

insomnia~

recently,i having insomnia....i hate it....i can't even fall asleep, and the timetable for my course in this semester- there are 4 out of 5 days that my class start at 8a.m....i going to die soon.....

honestly,there are something that bugging my mind and the stressful life now.....relationship problems was the serious problem i faced now....no matter the relationship with my housemate and someone else.....i did a mistake....

i am breaking my own rules....it shouldn't be like that, but it already happened.....i not really clear about feeling now.....if i run from him now,he'll noticed it....if i keep continuing there are only two situations will happen....1st is i'll end the friendship with him...the 2nd is i'll keep pretend nothing happenned and keep dependence on him.....

but start from now, i'll slowly brings myself out from the world that not belong to me...that's the only the best way, i had no choices anymore to keep our friendships longer....if not, it hurt both of us....and i know that was no any good ending for us if i say it out....i can only do that....

i wan cure my insomnia....help me please....i don't wanna have "panda eyes" anymore.....bless me please.....

i hate this part of my life !!!

something happened this recently, it made me thinks a lot of things.....i ask myself what is the meaning of life for me? is that friendship really important for me? i realize i need my family badly recently.....i don't want to go for a counselling sessions again this time....i don't even want to step into the room again....so,i tell my family members about my problems,we discussed and we solved it together.....

actually,i wanna ask about the opinion of you all who read my blog......what do you all expected in your life? for me what i really expected in my life now is all the things go swimmingly and i don't even need to worried about....but it is impossible, life always filled with ups and downs just like a "roller coaster"......

when the time i faced some problem, i always tell myself "joanne, you can go through it, wherever how hard it is"......i believed in myself.....i've been go through the worst time in my life that made me fall apart.....when i just stepped into a new stage of my life, i lost my loved one, my dad.....my dad passed away when i was in form 1,13 years old, that my new journey just started...i blame him for just left me behind without any words.....what i wished was i want him to watch me graduate in college or uni with proud, i want him to bless me when i get married or even get him a grandchild, i want him to see me succeed in my life....but the day he gone, my wished was just blown away by the wind.....

i fight for what i want in my life, now i worked hard in my study to own a good future for my family, my mum,my brothers, my aunt and even myself....my mum work very hard to send me to college,i don't want to let her down, i knew how burden she was, she had to pay my college fees and my youngest brother fees too.....but i won't take is as granted.....i appreciated and cherished it a lot....

even though, i had a lot of good friends and heavenly good family members by my side, buut sometimes, some people existed in your life and they ruined up and messed up your life......this kind of people are really sucks....so please fuck off from my life, you know yourself ,right? or did i need to list out the names of you all? you all will have to pay for what you had done....so please watch out yourself......i really hated those people....anyway, i believed i can go through this because you all, my best friends and my family will always by my side to support me......

david cook-permanent

this is a song david cook write for his brother,adam, who has brain cancer.....a nice and touched song......


Lyrics:

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you`ll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change even if
I tell you I won`t go away today

Will you think that you`re all alone
When no one`s there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head
I`m permanent

I know he`s living in hell every single day
And so I ask Oh God is there some way for me to take his place
And when they say it`s all touch and go I wish I could make it go away
But still you say

Will you think that you`re all alone when no one`s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head
I`m permanent
I`m permanent
Is the moment where i look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you`ll never see me cry.

my happy tuesday~

just now i went for my friend's house,shirnee.....we had a steamboat dinner together that we planned it yesterday night after she just back from new zealand....then, she phoned me today and she decided to come and fetch me on 5pm....so after i help my mum to done the households, then i go for a bath and get my self prepared....

5pm sharp, shirnee came to fetch me and we went to buy all the ingredients that we needed, after finish bought it, we went back to her home and wash the ingredients and well-prepared the dishes....at 7pm we start our dinner together with her mum and dad......i stayed at her house till 9pm something and her's father (whole family) fetch me back home.....

the candies bought by shirnee from new zealand.......

before i left her home, she gave me a box of candy that she bought from new zealand ....i'll post up the photo for you guys.....the candy are really colourful and delicious as well....thanks shirnee for the candies....she's sweet...haha:b....

what you miss the most?

what you miss the most? your parent, your friends, your lover, your house, your comic, book, movie,song, car, pets, other things that i not even know about or the food?

for me, i miss the food in my hometown very much...haha....i like to eat a lot.....i miss "nasi lemak", "satay" and "roti canai"....i miss them a lot....

the "satay" i bought just now.....

just now after my yoga class, i tell my mum i'm very hungry, then she asked me to walk to the "mamak " stall near my house to buy "satay"(cause i mentioned today that i had already one year didn't eat it), then i refused to go, because i paiseh go alone :b......after that, i really can't stand it anymore, so i decided to go there but my mum must accompany me.....at last we went there to buy some "satay" back....i'm so happy that i finally ate it....wakaka:P.....

this is the things i mentioned that i do not know how to explain it......

recently, my aunt also do something for me to eat....a delicious kind of food but i do not know how to explain it...sorry....i'll post the pic up,and you all guess yourself....haha :)......

big bang-하루하루

big bang-haru haru(day after day)

YEAH
FINALLY I REALIZED
THAT I’M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
I WAS SO WRONG
FORGIVE ME

Ah Ah Ah Ah ~

파도처럼 부숴진 내 맘
Padocheoreom buswojin nae mam
My broken heart like a wave

바람처럼 흔들리는 내 맘
Baramcheoreom heundeullineun nae mam
My shaken heart like a wind.

연기처럼 사라진 내 사랑
Yeongicheoreom sarajin nae sarang
My heart vanished like smoke

문신처럼 지워지지가 않아
Munsincheoreom jiwojijiga anha
It can’t be removed like a tattoo

한숨만 땅이 꺼지라 쉬죠
Hansumman ttangi kkeojira swijyo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in

내 가슴속엔 먼지만 쌓이죠 (say good bye)
Nae gaseumsogen meonjiman ssahijyo SAY GOODBYE
Only dusts are piled up in my mind(say goodbye)

YEAH~

네가 없인 단 하루도 못 살것만 같았던 나
Nega eobsin dan harudo mot salgeotman gatatdeon na
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you

생각과는 다르게도 그럭저럭 혼자 잘 살아
Saenggakgwaneun dareugedo geureokjeoreok honja jal sara
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought

보고싶다고 불러봐도 넌 아무 대답없잖아
Bogosipdago bulleobwado neon amu daedabeobtjanha
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”

헛된 기대 걸어봐도 이젠 소용없잖아
Heotdoen gidae georeobwado ijen soyongeobtjanha
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

네 옆에 있는 그 사람이 뭔지 혹시 널 울리진 않는지
Ne yeope inneun geu sarami mwonji hoksi neol ullijin annneunji
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?

그대 내가 보이긴 하는지 벌써 싹 다 잊었는지
Geudae naega boigin haneunji beolsseo ssak da ijeonneunji
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?

걱정돼 다가가기조차 말을 걸 수 조차 없어 애태우고
Geokjeongdwae dagagagijocha mareul geol su jocha eobseo aetaeugo
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you

나 홀로 긴 밤을 지새우죠 수백번 지워내죠
Na hollo gin bameul jisaeujyo subaekbeon jiwonaejyo
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

돌아보지말고 떠나가라
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Don’t look back and leave

또나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Don’t find me again and live (on)

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories

나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
take only the good memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
I can bear it in some way

그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
I can stand in some way

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
You should be happy if you are like this

하루하루
Haru haru
day by day

무뎌져가네
Mudyeojyeogane
I become dull

OH GIRL I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL (SAY GOODBYE)

길을 걷다 너와 나 우리 마주친다해도
Gireul geotda neowa na uri majuchindahaedo
If we pass by each other on the street

못 본척 하고서 그대로 가던길 가줘
Mot boncheok hagoseo geudaero gadeongil gajwo
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to

자꾸만 옛 생각이 떠오르면 아마도
Jakkuman yet saenggagi tteooreumyeon amado
If you keep thinking about our past memories

나도 몰래 그댈 찾아갈지도 몰라
Nado mollae geudael chajagaljido molla
I might go look for you secretly

넌 늘 그 사람과 행복하게 넌 늘 내가 다른 맘 안 먹게
Neon neul geu saramgwa haengbokhage neon neul naega dareun mam an meokge
Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind,
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever

넌 늘 작은 미련도 안 남게끔 잘 지내줘 나 보란듯이
Neon neul jageun miryeondo an namgekkeum jal jinaejwo na borandeusi
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

넌 늘 저 하늘같이 하얗게 뜬 구름과도 같이 새파랗게
Neon neul jeo haneulgachi hayake tteun gureumgwado gachi saeparake
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud

넌 늘 그렇게 웃어줘 아무 일 없듯이
Neon neul geureoke useojwo amu il eopdeusi
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

돌아보지말고 떠나가라
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Don’t look back and leave

또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Don’t find me again and live (on)

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Because I have no regrets from loving you,

좋았던 기억만 가져가라
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
take only the good memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
I can bear it in some way

그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
I can stand in some way

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
You should be happy if you are like this

하루하루
Haru haru
day by day

무뎌져가네
Mudyeojyeogane
I become dull

나를 떠나서 맘 편해지길 (나를 잊고서 살아가줘)
Nareul tteonaseo mam pyeonhaejigil (nareul itgoseo saragajwo)
I hope your heart feels relieved, Please forget about me and live (on)

그 눈물은 다 마를테니 ye (하루하루 지나면)
Geu nunmureun da mareulteni YEAH (haruharu jinamyeon)
Those tears will dry completely, As time passes by

차라리 만나지 않았더라면 덜 아플텐데 um
Charari mannaji anhatdeoramyeon deol apeultende UM
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all (mm)

영원히 함께하자던 그 약속 이젠
Yeongwonhi hamkkehajadeon geu yaksok ijen
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby

추억에 묻어두길 바래 baby 널 위해 기도해
Chueoge mudeodugil barae baby neol wihae gidohae
I pray for you

돌아보지말고 떠나가라
Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Don’t look back and leave

또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Don’t find me again and live (on)

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Because I have no regrets from loving you,

좋았던 기억만 가져가라
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
take only the good memories

그럭저럭 참아볼만해
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
I can bear it in some way

그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
I can stand in some way

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
You should be happy if you are like this

하루하루
Haru haru
day by day

무뎌져가네
Mudyeojyeogane
I become dull


OH GIRL
I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL
SAY GOODBYE BYE
OH MY LOVE
DON’T LIE LIE
YO MY HEART
SAY GOODBYE

a mistake

a mistake that i made was to get to know you,
the second mistakes i made was being one of your friend,
and the biggest mistake i've made was fall in love with you......

the mistake started when we became best friends,
we share our happiness and sadness together, we cry and laugh together,
but we shouldn't get into so deep. isn't it?

you've been ask me a question,
"what would you do if u fall in love with a people that can't love you?"
i answer you without hesitated that i'll just turn around and walk away....
i ask you back the question, and you said,
"i won't let her know till the day i'm not longer in this world".....

honestly, i really do not expect anythings happen in my life and change my view,
i don't even think about how's my life in future,
i don't even expect anything from you.....
although your love and your care too.....
but did you expect anything from me?

if you ask me that question again,
maybe i'll change my answer,
i'll said "i'll give him what i had without any hesitating"
i don't want to feel regret in my life....
at least i can fight for what i want once.....
who knows what happen tomorrow?
who can predict future?

but, i can't even turn back now,
but i'll fight for my future sooner or later......
wish me luck~haha:b

hometown-ing.....

my latest pic.... :)

i hometown-ing for one week already, still got two weeks to go and i will start my 2nd year of my psychology course....well, the weather here is damn hot, i can't even stand it.....but the crazy thing is the sky always raining only at night time....this really drived me crazy......i still wondering how all the people go to redang island? did they want to make themselves as a roasted pork?haha....

arghhh~really damn bored here, stay stupidly at home and nothing to do.....i just wait for my phone to ring then i went out "yum cha" with my two best friends....they are apple and th.....i had spend my half weeks with them......

damn boring....although today is mother's day, but we (my family) do not go out to celebrate....it was due to my dearest mum's choice.....she even ask my eldest bro and and do not need to buy cake.........the first year i didn't celebrate mother's day...haiz....so pity....but nevermind, because " mum i still love you till the end of the world" .... :P

nothing much to write ,so i'll stop here....miss you all my buddy....hehe

my "honeymoon" week

cheese cake

i have a whole week for my "honeymoon" started from the day i finished my exam, 27th Apr-3rd May....hehe...on 27th Apr,4pm...after finished my last paper, xinyi & i went to jusco together......i went to jusco with her because I ask her accompany me to buy some grocery at jusco, after reach jusco, I went to grab all the things I need and paid….then we plan to have our hi-tea at secret recipe, we having lasagna for our hi-tea……after finish it, we went to MPH , a bookstore ,just to take a look at the book, see whether there have any books that can caught my sight, but xinyi said “it is so mean to her went to the book store, because she have to save her money to next semester to buy the book she want to….”haha….she said that he do not want to buy any book, but finally she also get herself a note book use for next sem…. After that we go shop almost all the shop in jusco, after that I feel so tired, so I sit at the bench that provide by the supermarket….after chit-chattin for almost one hour, we decided to go to the secret recipe again to have our cheese cake for dinner….after having it, we paid and the waiter said “tomorrow, come here a gain ya~” I whisper to xinyi,if we come tomorrow, he will really happy de, but we’ll going to sad of lack of pocket money…..muhahaha

darren, dada, wayne & me~

My happy day is start from today till the 3^rd of may, so, what I going to do? Well, today I go sing “k” with 3 of my frens they’re xinyi, dada and Darren…..but I lose the chance to see the two guy I wish to see…sobz sobz….but nevermind,today I have bought two GIORDANO shirts for someone birthday present, as I promise to him, and I owe him the present last year, so I have to buy two present for him as last year and this year’s birthday present….I going to crazy…..haha…..i almost use RM100 for today just for buying 2 present, 2 belts for myself , sing “k” and also eat….but nevermind as long as I am happy enough…..just long long 1 time….haha….just an excuse…haha

kelly birthdayzzz~wish you happy always and stay healthy.....

30th May~
today, i went to sing "k" again...haha....with darren, dada, tx and wayne......and two more don and stephanie( if not mistaken, i'm not very sure of her name, sorry :P).........i hate the service there, always when people wanna to get high, the servant will came in......and today, the foods there tasted really bad....after finish our "k" time at 2pm......we have another round with kelly, josh, hui fen, ah boy, kuan kau, and also sky.....we celebrated kelly birthday together.....so happy ya~...while singing, a servant came and ask two people to play a game....a "weird" game- they ask the participants to drink a glass of soda water, after finished the soda water, the participants have to blow a balloons till it burst......after that we sang till 5pm, goshhhhh~really tired.....after that we went back to wangsa maju with the "stupid" metrobus, it takes us 2 hour to reach wangsa maju......

after that, i had my dinner with darren, dada, and wayne at wangsa maju "爱面子" to had our "pan mee".....after having dinner we go to "V2" -a cyber cafe at wangsa.....and i fool around there until 4.30 am....then we continue our "yam cha" time at "BRJ" and back home at 5am.....haizzzz~really a tired day.....

start from today, i have my lonely "honeymoon" until 2nd May and flight back to my lovely home on 3rd May.....i will miss you all for 3 weeks....hehe :P