Workin' On It

More Neat Ad Layout

Spanking bad children is instant universal appeal according to ad agencies of the 50s.

Latest Lucky Souls

These folks have some stuff on their way to them.
This one is a gift, so I can't show you the whole thing yet.

Jimmy's Gifts 2

Jimmy plucks up his loved one. George (playful): "You'll never guess what it iiiiiis!"
He produces a rectangular glob of processed meat. "It's a damn luncheon loaf, lad!
The mysterious loaf bounces on the table.
"That's a dadblasted olive loaf! 'n' it's all fer you! Cut the crap outta that sucker, boy!"
Jimmy wonders what feels so good and George tells him the secret. "That's GOD'S meat, son! Probably has every one of His creatures ground up inside! Christ hisself prob'ly doesn't know who the *%#@!! is in there! Mebbe even some Goddamned Angel Cows!"
They have a moment of silent prayer. Then Jimmy prepares to serve luncheon.
George can't wait to taste every one of God's creatures in one magnificent sparkling all-American loaf.
The loaf offers no resistance as Jimmy slices lunch up in a mad frenzy with his unspoiled virgin blade.

to be continued...with apologies to Danny Antonucci
just in case you thought I made this up...I actually had to eat this stuff at lunch when I was a kid! It induced instant puke every time.

Jimmy's Gifts

The most generous man in the world is walking along his humble abode, humming a happy tune.

"Dum de dum, de dum
bibbity boppity poop
iptee ooptee doop
dee yada da dadda da plop..."

He meets up with his idiot nephew. "Here ya go Lad, I bought ya a present!" Jimmy likes presents indeed. He tears it open with vigor.

Jimmy wonders what the gleaming object is. "Ya like that, son?" asks George.

Jimmy inspects it with acute animal senses. "That's your first knife, boy! All red-blooded nincompoops need a sharp object to carry around with 'em!"
Jimmy tests it's wind shearing weight.
He's getting a feel for it! George slyly coughs "A-heh-ahem!"

"I gotta another present for ya!" he sings...

To be continued....

The Day Of The Detergent

There must have been a theory once that 3 letters was the optimal amount for a detergent name. And the bigger the letters the better.
I'm guessing that this was so that you could see the box from over a hundred miles away.Or maybe the ad men just figured the American public could only remember monosyllabic words.
They must have run out of creativity after a while and started coming up with four letter one syllable words. What's wrong with PUZ, SYZ, LEP, SUK, PUD, NIT, TWA, SOP, FEP, TOX, GIK, ITP, PMA...?
Uh-oh, this might be getting too complicated for the masses.

I like the simple designs though.
Dreft is a classic. Some ad genius went against the current thinking and came up with a word that actually takes some tongular dexterity.

What a great name and design! You get a free Chix with every Dreft you buy too!

The ads follow the same old easy to read hierarchical thinking.




Judy Garland got her beautiful complexion and singing voice by washing her vocal chords in the toilet with LUX Larynx soap.

Here she is looking just like Barney Fife and singing with extreme virtuosity one of the most emotional songs ever written.


She could only pull that off with the right toilet soap. Look what it did for her hair too. That scouring pad on your head look that was so popular in the 60s. Seriously though, I think she is a genius.


Here's a great design for tooth detergent.

I bet all these products sponsored their own TV shows too and we got to see rich stars doing their own washing and even brushing their own teeth. Maybe Rochester brushed Jack Benny's teeth after each long smooth Lucky Strike cigarette.