SEED Message - Leyte Grad May 2, 2022

Nung nagsimula ako sa GK, more than 10years ago, one of the things na napansin ko, ang gagaling nila, yung mga nagsasalita. Punong puno ang mga sinasabi ng pag-asa at pagmamahal sa bayan. Malinaw ang mensahe na hindi hadlang ang kahirapan sa pagtupad ng mga pangarap. Ito pa nga ang pangunahing rason kung bakit matutupad ang mga pangarap, kase klaro na poverty is not meant to be in our future, in all of our futures. Pero ang napansin ko sa mga sinasabi nila, na hindi ang ibang tao ang solusyon sa pag-ahon sa kahirapan, ang solusyon ay nasa mahirap mismo. So what role then are we taking in GK, in SEED? Tayo ang taga-bukas ng pinto, para makapasok ang oportunidad, taga-punla, para magkaroon ng panibagong simula.

I am very honored to have this chance to congratulate you in finishing this course. At kagaya sa lahat ng commencement exercises, commence - ibig sabihin ay simula. Hindi lang ito isang pagtatapos, kundi isang simula na inyong ipagpapatuloy, pagpapatuloy ng misyong inihahabilin din sa inyo ng SEED, bukod sa edukasyon, kasama din ang misyon na patuloy na pagtataya sa sarili, sa pamilya, sa komunidad, at sa bayan. Nasa inyo lagi ang solusyon, hawak niyo ang kinabukasan niyo.

Sa lahat nang ito, sana lagi natin maalala na ang buhay natin ay hiram sa Diyos. Saan man at anoman ang ating marating, ito ay pahiram ng Diyos. Sa mga lumaki sa GK sites, alam niyo ang ibig sabihin ng SIGA, Serving in God's army. Sabi nga ni ate anette, we go back to the basics. Nothing is more basic, more fundamental than God. What ever we receive in blessings, may we always offer it back for God's glory.

Ako po pala si Ate Joni. Congratulations po ulit sa lahat.

Grateful to Red Ants Media Inc for allowing me to be a part of these meaningful video productions (2022)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1l0qLvs1_tJm7CEV8ACGMMnfAXoMWvbaw/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1affEFgwVSRf64Mdw4DYUwo2sAKt5APsi/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fghDDNjSFHJ-xbLr-TyDuDzpzyYR46xh/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Syfrx2PTlVSsUXLI1Jx2rgH4fum6-4am/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1l7wpCFyzMbRO__ETh_4egCsgUG9OY0Tk/view?usp=sharing

with WHO

https://fb.watch/qqzqTte7Zb/

https://fb.watch/qqzslZ08sx/

https://fb.watch/qqztuIqcEE/

https://fb.watch/qqzuHa1a1F/

https://fb.watch/qqzvYDkXVw/

https://fb.watch/qqzwX4DVGJ/

https://fb.watch/qqzxUb6TTL/

https://fb.watch/qqzz9xVCSb/

https://fb.watch/qqzA0WLoJJ/

https://fb.watch/qqzB4bPr83/

https://fb.watch/qqzCt5VcvV/

https://fb.watch/qqzDodRaF4/

https://fb.watch/qqzEgYJdKu/

https://fb.watch/qqzF9Iq9di/

https://fb.watch/qqzG9KEfl-/

https://fb.watch/qqzHphGoPi/

https://fb.watch/qqzJUFxXkT/

https://fb.watch/qqzKZs93Pw/

https://fb.watch/qqy-6wvQJB/

Sharing today

 ...gandang umaga...

Thought I'd share a bit today. Sending this to all of you, my friends because it's been a while. For some of you I may have shared a bit here and there kase kailangan lang to be real somehow.

Una siguro gusto kong mag-apologize. I don't think I have been completely my honest self with you. Mukhang ok pero di masyado ok. I have been winging this year, in the hopes that I will find my good and settle there.

Feels like an impostor everyday, pretending to be ok with myself but I'm not at all pleased with how everything is turning out. I still have my alarm at 430 everyday but my mind and body struggles. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, basta gising lang kahit di ko makita ang rason. May time na gumigising ako ng 3am para mag-misa, para may rason ako gumising, with the hopes the whole day will be much better, di ko rin natagalan. May rason kaya wala akong kurtina sa room so I actually see the light when it comes in the morning, to remind me of how much mornings always made me feel new so I will want to get up.

I realized I have always been fueled by inspiration, all those years being in mission. There was that fixation to it, that made me feel good about myself and in control. Even if meetings then were at 11pm or until 1am in the morning, it did not feel contrived. It felt like I was relevant. Everything was so authentic, honest and natural. And at that state, I was just being. Even in the most challenging situations (usually pag may inaayos na mga tao), I felt everything can be sorted out, because it is God's work and I just need to listen to know what to do. And He has never failed to guide me every single time. I just need to ask "what is the most loving thing to do?"

I miss that self, that part of me God has allowed me to see. I may not be seeing that person now but I'm grateful God gave me that chance so I know I'm still possible.

At some point, feeling ko kinalimutan ako ng Diyos recently. He's not activating me, decommissioned somehow. I feel like I'm not in His service when that's all I have ever wanted for the last 10 years. This explains why the last 3 years was jumping from one location to the next, with the hopes dun nako dinadala ng Diyos. I thought the farm was my last destination but that's not how God works. He will always move you so you learn something new. But, in all those new things the last 3 years, all were so uncomfortable and I did not feel I fit in somehow. I was not being.

Then the pandemic happened, and so I said this is it. I was made for crisis. This is where I can be useful. But still, no sound. I have not heard any call. Kaya sabi ko, mamili nalang ako, just choose, make a choice, all the choices are good anyway. Mabuti naman akong tao, di naman ako masama, kaya whatever choice, it will be good. I believed this for quite a while kaya sige lang, ride the tide, basta piliin ko lang magmahal, tama na yun. Then a friend shared to me Ephesians 2:10.

I did not understand what it meant but when she explained it, it made sense. God has designed us uniquely. Not everything will fit. Kahit henyo na kayang aralin kahit ano, not everything will fit. So it may not be about choice, but about design. God designed us so we can love uniquely. So now I ask myself, ano design ko? Sa anong paraan ako mas nagmamahal?

...

...gandang umaga...

Ephesians 2:10. New International Version ... For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do

God's grace

Dahil Pasko naman - may license ako to share haha! Today I am thankful for the graces received which we do not deserve. Parang nakalkal ulit ang alaala ko nung scholar pa ako. Si Fr. Nemy Que kase ang nagmisa today sa simbang gabi. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagkaroon ng 100%scholarship. 50% lang naman ang scholarship ko nung nag-umpisa ako sa ateneo. But because 1 fine day I decided to drop by the Office of Admission and Aid and talked to the Head, kaya nagbago lahat. Na-operahan kase si mommy nun and akala ko uuwi nako bacolod kase wala na kami pambayad sa school. But lo and behold, na-ikwento ko kay Fr. Nemy Que ang sitwasyon sa bahay - on the spot sinabi niya na "sige 100% scholar ka na" - without checking my grades or requiring me an "A". Sabi lang niya - "basta wag kang bumagsak". For the next 3 years, zero pesos lagi ang nasa tuition receipt ko. I am very grateful for this, not just to Fr. Nemy, pero sa lahat din ng nagbayad ng tuition nila - dahil pinag-aral niyo ako. Definitely this I did not earn or deserve, but nevertheless it was given to me as grace. I will always be grateful for this grace. Because of this grace, natulungan ko din makapag-aral ang mga kapatid ko. Grace has multiplied itself, parang yung virus lang. (https://youtu.be/l3hJMkPzipc)

it is the Longing that will bring you home

Revisiting my Core

 I am Ate Joni.

1. I started GK in 2011, year after the farm started.
2. One of my first tasks was to look after the construction of farm facilities - kaya baliko ibang mga poste
3. Then came the other tasks - look after the souvenir shop
4. Organized shipping of pineapples from bicol and kape from sulu
5. Organized events - Human Nature Away Day - first time guests started overnight in the farm and first business camp

In all those firsts, I was not qualified for it.  I did not know how to be an entrepreneur though I studied it. Batchmates kami ni Kuya Mark sa Ateneo.

In everything we did in the farm, it was always a daunting task of whether we can do it or not.

Naaalala ko everytime we were entering the farm before and we arrive at 6am, i will be praying i will survive that day.  

I knew each day we were going to be faced with challenges.  These challenges were not limited to the physical spaces we were creating - but most importantly it was making relationships happen with the community.  

I will always remember that first Christmas ko sa farm nung 2011, when there was nothing really happening yet - no events, no visitors, only the people waking up everyday to farm or do construction.  

We were looking forward to these occasions like christmas kase yun lang nakakagather.  

Isa sa mga tita - salamat Joni andito kayo, ngayon lang namin naramdaman na tinrato kami na mahalaga bilang tao

That hit home for me - araw araw kase feeling ko napapagod ako sa physical labor na dapat matapos na ng mga farm plots, mga dorm rooms, organize ng materyales.

I was missing the opportunity to see the core of what we do - to witness caring and sharing.

Since then I have made it intentional to listen to the stories of everyone I get to work with.  What lives they live, what challenges and victories they have experienced.

Ito ang baon ko.  And these have fueled me even more to do the work we do - inspired and motivated to keep going despite the roadblocks.

I feel this is very similar to what we are going through today.  

We are faced with a challenge of an uncertain future.  We feel unqualified for what is ahead.  We feel tired and impatient with the isolation and waiting.

In all these, we might be missing to come back to our core - the basics.  

I am in research and - we did a reseach in SG about a campaign on Passion Made Possible - communication handle that SG wants to stand for - parang More Fun in the Phils.  

One of the insights we got from that study and we did ask about thr current struggles today in the pandemic - how is everyonr coping? One of the insights - the pandemic has hit all of us hard - the battle we fight is personal - it is the challenge of facing yourself everyday in isolation - it is the challenge of facing your family everyday and struggle to provide for them - it has hit us all hard on a personal level.

If the battle we fight is personal - then it is the core that needs strengthened.  We need to keep coming back to the WHY we do what we do.

Share I am Filipino.

This is who I am - what I come back to.

Everyday I chart for myself a schedule just to keep me on track - para hindi ako mawala - 530

We can be bold in embracing what we need to do - but I think at the start and end of the day - we need to acknowledge the One who has allowed us to do this work.

If being Filipino is who I am - being Christian is my Core and my Center.

Lord you have said I have called you by name and you are mine.

Guide us as we do our work, our mission for our families and our communities.  May we never forget who we are and our core.  Strengthen our resolve as we move forward armed with your grace.  Amen.