Story of a lost journalist

I just read from a blog about the courage it takes to be honest. I have been having some thoughts about this. About how, a lot of people have taken to lying so much that it just doesn’t seem to make a moment’s difference.

It surprises me when I see how easy it comes to them, how they don’t have a moment’s hesitation or afterwards a moment’s guilt in lying with a straight face. One thing about being honest was that you didn’t need any doubts about your stand; you could be as loud and as firm as you liked. But that didn’t seem to verify your honesty anymore, considering the liars were just as good. Only place you can expect a difference is when liars forget the lies they once said and later contradict their own stand.

Day 1:

“I have always scored 90 for Math”

Day 29:

“I have always scored 100 for Math”

Day 49 – in a drunken moment

“I just want to pass Math for once in my life buddy sniff sniff sob”

The thing is all this lying is not because people are so bad. Its just that they have somehow gotten used to ejecting a series of small lies to get their way, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. So if you are not allowed at a place cause, say, you needed a condition ‘x’ to be eligible, they don’t see it as an obstacle on the way. To their clear single-direction mind, they wanted entry so they get it, it was not their fault ‘x’ was there in the first place so-

What makes me sad more than the lying itself is the ease with which people do it not feeling a tinge of doubt about its virtue, about their assumption that this was the way of life. For them the question of “Oh what do we do now cause we don’t have it” never arises. They look at others to whom it did, with incomprehensible eyes, eyes that said how can anyone be so slow. To them, it is only a solution everyone will have to arrive at sooner or later, and that for some weird reason, some people were taking time. Truth does not come any different to them, they don’t despise it. Its just that, they use it as an alternative to lying. When you can’t use the truth, you use lies – the logic was simple and its unlearning quite hard to force upon. Especially when the ways of truth promise no easy paths to a glorious life, the way they had it before.

But how did lying become so everybody-does-it? Was there not enough stress on how important it was to stick to the truth anymore? Did no one tell kids that telling the truth even when they did something wrong would actually make room for leniency? Why was it that lying, even if it was for a simple insignificant matter ignored and not corrected? Cause that means a lot. I can say because when I was a kid there were times my Mom told me “See how your brother admitted he did it even though he knew he’d be in trouble” and to me it seemed like something really respectable. Next time when I did something wrong, I’d run to my Mom and proudly announce I did it.

“I sat on that new expensive dining table, and broke it, all by myself” (mm yes, that happened. Hey I just wanted to test it, but err, it was glass).

It started as a funny way to speaking the truth, but once you understand the importance you don’t feel like swaying away – a simple lie could kill you with guilt for days ahead, you’d rather stick with the bitter truth. Cause its so much better to be punished for something you did than getting credit for something you didn’t.

Another day planned for museum-book-reading and watching on-the-street-folk-songs, not quite successful. Museum turned out to be too hot and full of mosquitoes and folk song singers sang their last line for the day when I reached them. Hmph. Atleast I had my music player on and a long promising walk. During my walk I noticed something. Not many girls did stuff by themselves. What was it with girls and doing things alone? Alright you didn’t have to walk alone for miles, but be it anything – including taking a trip to see a colleague 2 cubicles away – they need company!

Movies, or restaurants or anywhere – girls didn’t want to go alone. Even shopping, that which they are reputed to be in love with – well there I might have to correct my words. Cause once left inside a shop, I don’t think many women actually bother not having a companion to turn to when clothes or cosmetics fell in numbers. No I am not generalizing here. I am one of these shopping women. But thing is, I don’t understand the whole in-group-we-do, alone-we-don’t pattern.

Lets keep the security factor aside. Lets consider a hypothetical world where it was safe for anyone to go out. Would then things change? Was it only the fear factor that made them look for company? I frankly don’t think so. Cause like I say, inside an office, inside buildings where you knew everyone and everything why would you need someone to cross a room or climb a staircase with? You cant say you will be too bored by yourself! Cause you weren’t there for a leisure trip! You were there for business!

And this pattern was more common among younger women. If you look at middle aged women, they didn’t mind going out to buy vegetables or whatever they wanted going out for, alone. Of course some venues are exceptions like Cinemas. Again I don’t think it’s only the safety concern that kept women from going alone. When I was in Infosys Mysore, the campus was without doubt the safest place to be in and girls and boys sat on pavements at 3 in the night, without fear. But if you looked at the canteens, the food courts like they are called, not 1 woman would be by herself. Even I, when I went to eat alone, found myself entirely conscious, checking if anyone should notice anything wrong. Why should anything be wrong just because I dined alone? Men, on the other hand sat by themselves in many tables, happily enjoying their food. I followed that from next time around.

I am thinking it’s the whole getting conscious-stuff. Women were for someone reason more conscious about how they carried themselves than men, including being by themselves. I am not sure if there is a psychological reason here but that is somehow the way it works. And if you ask me, I think it is sick! I really think its high time everyone was able to walk or go wherever they wanted to, as long as they felt it was safe – what I mean is other than the factors they didn’t have any control on (like safety) they should keep aside all silly mind prejudices and deal with things straight.

As a side story, on my way back today, a man who was driving a car slowed down and said “excuse me 1 minute?” I looked quizzically and he came out of the car, and asked pleasantly “We don’t know each other but do you mind if we get to know each other?”

I was taken aback but I managed to smile and say “Yes I do. Sorry” and turned to walk. He smiled apologetically, said “ok” and went to his car.

I considered the whole episode with nonchalance. So someone thought he wanted to talk to me and I was not in the habit of making acquaintances out of street strangers so gave it a pass. But when my I told my Mom about this, she was all upset. She thought it quite bad and dangerous. I am not sure if it was the way the two of us looked at things, or that like always she was right and I a dumb fool but I somehow still don’t get it. What was the harm in that as long as I knew what to do and what not to? And why should that man, just because he talked to me be cast off as a villain – I don’t put it off that he might not have had the best intentions, but how can we judge anyone so fast? I guess that’s cause of the numerous abuses on women happening in every nook and corner of Kerala – no one was to be trusted anymore. Hmm! And I keep saying, lets forget the safety factor temporarily – no that was not to be forgotten. Not now, not ever.