a miracle for vasya.

It’s been a long time for me.  

I haven’t visited this little sad blog in a long time and it feels strange to be here.  

But today I have good reason to blow the proverbial dust off this lonely place and tap my fingers on the keyboard once again.  

The tide has changed and our family’s story has again taken another turn.

                                                       

                                                                *****

   

A few weeks ago, I read a fb post from a friend named Sara.  

She posted pictures of her beautiful “daughter”—the little girl she loves who is stuck in a Russian orphanage with our Davis.  

I looked at the pictures and my fingers immediately typed in the web address for the orphanage website.  

My heart searched for new photos of Davis.  No luck.  

Then immediately I searched the Russian orphan database where his photo has been removed for months.  

No update, no such child.  

Heart heavy and filled with concern, I then turned back to my friend Sara.  

I messaged her.  

She has connections in Russia.  

Could she possibly find an updated photo of my boy for me?  

I need to know he’s ok.  

He may have been transferred (to a mental institution) and I need to know.  

I just need to know.  

We are kindred spirits—having lived the same nightmare, she gets it completely.  

She messaged me almost immediately and inquired, “Would you like me to ask my Russian friend to help?” 

Sunday morning Sara messaged me again.  

My phone buzzed on the kitchen island and I lazily glanced at it while Michael and I were chatting.  

I stopped mid-sentence.  

I slid my finger over her name on my phone and began reading:

“A reply from my friend Irina in Tver: "And its especially so at your request to learn about the boy Vasya, I was immensely pleased to hear from the director of the orphanage, that the boy was indeed in a period of time with them, but now parents are restored in their rights and the boy soon will in its complete family, with relatives his mom and dad!!!"”

The tears came immediately.  

I reread the message.  

And again. And again.

Could I possibly be reading this correctly?  

Davis (Vasya) is going to live with his biological parents!  

After signing away their rights so we could adopt him, they have worked to have them restored.  

He will no longer be at the orphanage, he will live with his “complete family!” 

You guys.  Can you even?

Cue the ugly cry.  

Times ten thousand.

I have written a million times about my agony, my pain, my deep, dark sadness over losing Davis.  You all have shared that with me—there and back again.  

Now, please join me in PRAISE and PRAYER as Davis’ family takes this incredibly brave decision to reunite their son with his rightful family!  

God, the true redeemer, the wish granter, my loving father, has worked a MIRACLE.  

I stand in awe of the details, the way He crafted this story.  

All of the clichés are TRUTH. 

God’s great timing. 

When He’s doing one thing, He’s doing a hundred others. 

He hears our cries. 

He is faithful to those who believe. 

He sets the lonely in families.

Davis has a family.  

He is loved.  

He is chosen.  

And my dream has come true.  

My sweet baby has his family.

We will always cherish and choose Davis.
Today we give thanks to God for this amazing blessing!

jude: an adoption update and an auction!

way back in january we committed to a little boy named jude.
we blogged about it in march.
remember way back when?

well we have been busy and things have been progressing!
we completed our paperwork in may and were invited to travel in august.
unfortunately jude's paperwork wasn't ready when we were, so we are now requesting travel for november.
did you catch that?!
we are requesting to travel in just a few short weeks!

in fact, he has already begun his required TB testing this week!
AND just to send our happy meter off the charts, last thursday, he was told he has a family.
i can't even imagine his thoughts, his excitement, his emotions!!
it's almost too much to handle, isn't it?!

now that we are getting so much closer, it's time for some fundraising!
i'll admit, i'm nervous about this part.
when we tried to adopt our sweet davis boy, we raised about $13,000.
our russian adoption expenses took every last penny and then some.
so when we began this adoption we knew that money was gone.
we have paid for all of our expenses so far but in the next few months, our needs are going to grow exponentially.
airfare alone for one trip is running around $4500--and we have to take 2-3 trips depending on when we are assigned a court date!
we need help.

our first fundraiser is an instagram auction TOMORROW!! (from 1-9 pm)
so many INCREDIBLE items have been donated to help us!
we would be honored if you would check it out and bid on some awesome stuff!
100% of the money raised goes directly to our adoption fund.
every last cent.
praise Jesus!
all you have to do is go to the instagram app and follow @auctionforjude for all the details!
i'll post some pics here tomorrow to remind/tease ya! ;)

i can't end this post without thanking all of the shops and lovely ladies who have generously supported us for this auction.
even if we don't raise a dime, we feel so blessed.
xo!

it's only been six months.

let's get this blog updated why don't we!

let's start with the obvious:  i am still healing.
it is taking much, much longer than i ever expected.
and if i'm being completely honest with you, i still look at davis' picture almost every day.
i look straight into his little face and i apologize for failing him.
that's how i feel--like i could have worked harder or completed my paperwork faster or pushed myself in some other way--to get to him faster.
i almost can't believe it all happened, like it's a bad nightmare that i can't seem to shake.
i'm working on it.

we received our invitation to travel to jude's country in early august.
unfortunately, his paperwork was not ready yet so we had to miss our appointment.
major bummer.
we hope to be able to travel in november now!
deep breath and fingers crossed!
if you could pray for putin to go away and leave all neighboring countries alone forever, i would be so grateful.

so many wonderful things have been happening in our family.
the children all returned to school!  (see what i mean?  wonderful!)
josh started middle school/junior high and has amazed me with how well he transitioned.
he is such a good kid, even though he struggles with keeping up with his homework and helping out around the house.
but then again, what 12 year old doesn't, right?

anna started fifth grade and is doing great.
she is crazy about her science class and the fact that she recently was named the class "reptile manager".
perfect.

like josh, ben changed schools too, continuing with our city's special education program.
the first week or so was Rough.
with a capital R.
but now, oh man.
now, he's found his groove and he is loving his new class.
we have all settled in and it feels so good to be back in a rhythm again.

john is going back to school to get another master's degree.
overachiever, that one.
i can barely find enough energy to get a shower every day.
he's out getting degrees.
nuts.

we got a new dog.
his name is tater and he's a goof ball.
i think i like him.
even though he pees all over my house and i keep repeating, "why can't i have anything nice?!!"

miss kitty still isn't sure about him*.
he pounces on her every chance he can get.
*might have something to do with it.

i'm getting tired of typing (tragedy! i've obviously lost my blogging stamina!).
so quickly...
josh quit football.  (too much practicing, all the days and nights.......)
anna is playing volleyball (loves it.  she's a beast.)
ben is playing soccer (so far -- meh.)
i still wanna own my own store. (no $. story of my life.)
i'm obsessed with the show fixer upper.
joanna gaines.
oh my lawd.

i think that's about it.
it's just a little summary that i'm not really proud of but hey, i wrote it.
and we lived it.
and now i'm gonna hit publish and give myself some grace.

he's a hugger.

we just got back from a week at the beach.
the weather was weird, every day was something different and much cooler then we had hoped.
still, we were all together and at a place that we love, so there were still many memories made.

for me, one thing i want to remember, is ben giving out hugs on the boardwalk in orange beach.

we were walking out to the beach and ben chose the longest path for us to take.
it was warm and a little sunny and ben and anna were barreling down the walkway, giddy to be heading to the beach.
there weren't many people walking out but a few walking back.
ben ran up to each one and hugged them, all the while i was apologizing, "i'm sorry, please excuse us..."
no one seemed to mind but i really wanted ben to just let them pass by.

right before we reached the end of the walkway, an older man was approaching and ben was so enthusiastic about hugging him.
the man smiled so big and hugged ben right back.
i did my usual, "sorry!" and he stopped quickly.
"for what?" he asked.
"some people are bothered by him so i..." i fumbled.
"well, that's THEIR problem!" he said smiling and reached down to hug ben again.

by now we were at the beach so we all ran down and played with our children and i kept thinking about what that man said.

when we were ready to leave and head back to our car, we once again had to make our way back on the long boardwalk.
ben and anna ran ahead of us once again and this time, when ben hugged each person on our way back, i didn't apologize.
i watched instead.

and i saw each person smile and hug him back and it was almost as if he brought out something sweet and kind in each one of them.
when he approached them, at first they didn't quite know what to do.
but then he would wrap his little arms around them and each person couldn't help but smile.  and giggle.
and laugh.
but mostly smile.

ben was spreading love and acceptance up and down that entire beach all by himself.

and instead of apologizing, i said things like, "he's a hugger!", "he always hugs the prettiest girls!", "you're next!"

and it was so much fun letting my son be exactly who he wanted to be.
and enjoying him.
and that is a memory that i hope i never, ever forget.

it changed me.

january observations.

here we are at january 19th already.
january is always a blur.
the hoopla of the holidays is behind us and i think we all crave the stillness and pause of january.
the kids are getting back into the swing of things and i've welcomed routine back into our home with open arms.
except for homework.
homework is never welcomed with open arms.
ever.
i digress.
i'm kinda in the mood for writing a list of all my january daily notes so here goes:

--all three kids brought home great report cards.  i'm so proud of them.

--anna has been having some emotional outbursts lately.  either she's jealous of the boys, or seeking attention, or both.  i have a feeling her hormones are going wild.  i don't know how mothers with lots of daughters handle it.  (i'm talking to you, danielle farley!)

--i would pay someone to trim ben's finger and toenails.  i have done it for almost seven years now and i've finally had enough.  i'm sourcing it out.  interested parties apply within.

--josh and john are twins.  it's terrifying at times.  and wonderful at other times.  but mostly terrifying.

--i'm freezing.  i'm counting down the days until spring rolls in.  winter is not my favorite.

--i was on pinterest the other day and i was loving every single thing on there.  i even said out loud "this is the best pinterest board ever!  i love it all!"  and then i realized i was on my own pinterest board.  i'm a dork.

--is blogging over?  i notice less and less blogs still going strong.  that makes me feel so sad.  but here are a few of my favorites lately, all new to me, very different and very, very beautiful:

the beetle shack
heart handmade
shine
me and alice
hello from the natos

--i have found myself in situation after situation, over the past year or so, where i just can't imagine getting through things without help from the Lord.  nothing in my own simple mind can make sense of things without Him.  i think about times in my life where i sinned, failed, made terrible choices, etc. and in each situation, i felt like i was in control.  so foolish.  now i feel like i am never in control, that nothing is ever possible without God.  and there is a peace that comes over me like i've never known.  and this peace is grace.  maybe i'm just now getting it, but man, I GET IT.  and it is such relief.

--i love lists.  they make me happy.

that is all for today.
c'mon spring.

halloween 2013.

i love halloween.
i especially love dark, stormy, windy, creepy halloweens.
and that's just what we got this year.

ben was a football player, anna was a ninja, and josh was phil from duck dynasty.
it was our most laid back and low key halloween ever--a blessing in itself but also a sign that my kiddos are getting older.
sniff sniff.

 

we hit the streets early, a little after five o'clock, ben running ahead of everyone and laughing the whole way.
he was truly happy, sincerely and utterly full of happiness, and his happiness had us all laughing.
the big kids were full of excitement, josh even asking, "why would ANYONE be too old to trick or treat?  it's free candy!"

i'm at home, watching the news, nibbling mini dark chocolate milky ways, and awaiting their return.
oh i know, when they all get home, wet costumes will be thrown about, candy dumped on the living room floor, and the kiddos chatting a million miles a minute.
i can't wait.

our life. today.

ben is obsessed with the gummi bear song on youtube.
and the show pocoyo, especially the camping episode.
and the scene in the movie 'cars' where mater and lightning mcqueen go tractor tippin--only that one scene.
he can now write his name pretty well and shocked us all by writing it on my shopping list.
he climbs in our bed every single night and sleeps best when he's next to us.
to be completely honest, i love this and i hate this, at the same time.
i miss sleeping through the night and i miss sleeping next to john.
hoping this is a phase and it will pass soon!

anna walks around the house singing the national anthem all the live long day.
"oooohh, say can you see...."
it's cute.
she's cute.
i love hearing her sing.
acting class is over so she's only taking gymnastics now.

she hates reading but loves when i read to her.
we just finished "little house in the big woods" and are starting "the indian in the cupboard".
i love "the indian in the cupboard".
i read it in 4th grade too, and it has stayed with me all this time.
same with the book "the yearling"--i remember thinking "the yearling" seemed like such a big book for me, but i loved it so much.
tell me you've read both of these!  so good.

josh has been sick off and on all week, maybe the stomach flu.
he comes in our room in the middle of the night and says "help me!"
scares me to death.
but usually he just needs some tylenol and a hug.
i am so sad that he's going to miss his last football game today.
he's been running a fever all night and feels horrible.
i see lots of couch time, naps and snuggles today...if he'll let me. ;)

i went to the thrift store yesterday and found some good buys.
i couldn't believe it, but i only bought clothes.
these dang kids have each grown a foot! from last year, not exaggerating, so they each need all new pants and shirts and coats.
ben is wearing almost all of josh's size 7 hand-me-downs.
anna and josh are both on the borderline where they could wear adult clothing in an extra small or a kids extra large.
my nine year old is wearing a girls 14-16.
what the what??

it seems like it's turned from summer to fall/winter overnight.
this morning there was frost everywhere and our back steps were slippery.
most of our plants bit the dust from the frost, and the grass is starting to turn yellow again.
we actually grew a few gourds in our "garden" and they are ready to cut and add to the pumpkins on the porch.

i have been thinking about Christmas all week long--what gifts to buy, how i want to decorate, cleaning up and clearing out.
simplify, simplify, simplify.
we are only two months away.
sounds crazy, but i'm excited.

hi you. it's hump day!

it's been one of those days when all i want to do is be outside.

right now i'm sitting on the patio, watching ben and anna play on the trampoline.

i can hear kiddos running all over the neighborhood, playing football (where josh is), riding bikes, playing in the cul-de-sac.

it's cool outside, but still warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt.

i'm just going through some recent pics on the laptop.

and i'm kinda thinking i should have brought a cold beer out here with me...

the tops of the trees are just starting to change colors.

john has been spending a lot of his free time building a new play house/fort for the kids.

it's loosely based on this design.

the kids are already planning their first sleep over in it.

josh and ben like to beat each other silly.

i think it's a guy thing.

sleeping with the windows open...one of my most favorite things ever.

bonnie is 16 years old.

she's starting to act senile and has terrible arthritis.

but yet she's still quick enough to catch a bird.

amazing old girl.

our garden is a nothing more than a huge patch of weeds.

i can't tell you how many times i just wanted john to weed whack it.

but somehow, miraculously, there are zinnias blooming and even a few gourds.

this boy.

he can be sweet as pie.

i treasure those moments.

some time he can be...well...nevermind.

i'm sticking with the sweet.

and this girl.

oh when she tells a story, she just comes ALiVe!

this story was about an armadillo.

and this pic?

it needs no caption whatsoever.

now about that beer...