Tumblr more often i guess.
http://hellotomato.tumblr.com/

Today, as i play my off tune piano with my rusty skills, i realise that my childhood has been a horrible nightmare. A nightmare that scare me to tears. I thought about everything my parents told me about each other. I wondered to myself, what kind of environment did i really grow up in. Everyone in my family, they aint what they appear to be. I thought the wound that have always been there is starting to heal but i was wrong. It has never been any more painful than this. I know that this is God's work in my life, to heal the wounds and so i can move on. I hope that this time of healing wont take forever, it will be fast. I have too much principles and responsibility that i cannot collasped at this. It feels like im starting all over again, its all back to zero, back to the basics, back to submission, back to obedience, back to dependance.

burst it

Sometimes im so glad that i have burn my bridges sometime ago, perhaps in preparation of this season. Honestly, im really sick my CEG. If i would to leave church at this point of time, the only reason is probably that. I'm doing well in my ministries and i'm not worn out. I hate it when there's no freedom of speech, no space for opinions, and no options. We are all grown up, let's not force each other to do things that we dont wish to. Alot of things, it's from the inside-out and not outside-in. There's no point forcing me to do things or shutting up my mouth. With things in this state, i could have left just like that with the immerse prosecution at home. But i shiver at the thought of breaking the heart of people who have showered me love that i would never know how to repay. Most importantly, i knew that this is a time of testing from God and that the only thing i can do is to not move.

After such a long long time, i realise i havent forgive my family other than dad though i thought i have. And i realise that i havent told my mum alot alot of things that everyone else knows. The only thing she knows about me was probably i had fever that goes on & off for the past few days. She didnt know that i fainted at home twice ever since this sch yr. Or that i did very badly in sch and i can break down anytime because of that.

barley party

Mc to the max. This is the first time i go on mc for so many days. The last time i missed sch for so many days was pri 2 due to chickenpox.

Blood test tml. I scare. Hahaha. Stupid fever just wont go away.

I'm starting to lack behind schoolwork :( but i think my classmates are super kind to provide me with info esp deepa charlene singyi subadra sharifah <3<3<3

Lucky im not seriously ill or what. I manage to do my reports and tutorials. Hope its not so bad. But tons of notes to be printed, good luck to myself. And i drank like 1.5 pot of barley water, zzz.

Kkk i need to go sleep soon cos i need to wake at 7.30 to go polyclinic -.-

I cant decide if i shld bring my notes tml or a book tml to the polyclinic.