Before I can get into the actual birth part, I need to go back to 4.5 years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Stella. Here's the back story:
The year was 2010 and I was serving as Primary President of our ward. I was studying and preparing to teach a sharing time lesson about Samuel the Lamanite. In my study and preparation I felt very close to the spirit, it's hard to explain, other than it just felt different. On Sunday, while I was presenting my sharing time to the primary, I had an amazing experience. It was as if time stopped for just a second, and I felt something inside me whisper "You are pregnant. It's a boy. And his name is Samuel." It was so calm. And surreal, actually. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I came home and talked to Jason about it. I took a pregnancy test, and sure enough, it was positive. At that point on, there was NO question in my mind that this baby was a boy, and I would certainly name him Samuel.
Fast foward to April 2011 to my ultrasound. You can tell in this picture I am trying to hold back the tears when I was telling the kids that I found out I was having a GIRL.
G.I.R.L.
I was in shock. There was SO much going on in my brain at this moment. I could not understand why I would have such a distinct revelation and have it be wrong. I struggled for quite some time, and honestly I still didn't believe it was a girl.
Until August 8, 2011 When Stella joined our family.
It didn't stop me from loving our sweet little baby Stella. I was grateful to have another healthy little girl.
For some time I questioned whether we were done having children. I really didn't want to do it again, but I still couldn't help but feel Samuel was missing from our family. I had so many questions and honestly, I felt like I might be going a little crazy.
Fast forward to November of 2012
I thought: "Hey! We have a Stella, and she is our 5th child. So she is our own little Stella #5"
And this is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Stella needed to be our number five. If Stella would have indeed been our Samuel, then I would have thought our family was complete. I would have not had any more kids, and Stella would not be part of our family. It was at this very moment that I knew Samuel was still waiting for us.
I became pregnant rather quickly. We were going to make the big announcement over Christmas Break, but while driving to Idaho I had a miscarriage. It was on Christmas Day, in a snow storm, at the Arby's rest room. I was traveling alone with the kids. It was a very sad, traumatic experience for me, but we got through it.
I again became pregnant just a couple of months later.
We waited some time (3 months) to tell anyone we were pregnant because I wanted to make sure we heard a heartbeat. I wanted to wait and hear from the doctor that things were good. This is what I wrote in my journal:
The heartbeat was nice and strong, and the doctor said everything looked great. How exciting! Two days after we made our baby announcement I started having TERRIBLE cramps. I lost the baby that evening. It was such a hard, emotional experience. I wrapped up my baby in a tissue and took it to the doctor. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I don't know why it happened, but it did. Thankfully prayers and blessings helped me get through it.
This was such a frustrating time. By the time I had my second miscarriage, I really started to question a lot of things. Was one of those miscarriages Samuel? Did I do my part? Will I be able to have any more children? Am I sure my family is not complete?
I wanted to throw in the towel. I did not want to do it again. Through prayer, fasting, and a whole lot of faith, I still felt the impression that Samuel was waiting.
I took a pregnancy test in August 2014 and it was positive. When I saw the positive result I had an overwhelming feeling of peace. I knew this was the right thing, and I felt a "hug" from Heavenly Father telling me not to worry and all would be well.
I was sick off and on, which is never my favorite. But every morning I woke up sick, meant that it was one more day I was still pregnant. I feared for a lot of weeks that I would miscarry again.
On October 17th, 2014 (Grandpa Doug's birthday), We told our family that we were having a baby. Everyone was SUPER excited.
On December 24th, 2014, at our family Christmas Eve party we announced to the world that we were having a BOY! Samuel would *finally* be joining our family in May of 2015.
*insert Kylee's video here*
I had some rough moments in the pregnancy with pre-term labor. I also fell while cleaning my garage and had to go to the hospital for non stress tests to make sure the baby was ok. The month of May was absolutely INSANE with activities, and being 9 months pregnant didn't make it easy at all. Jason loved joking about how I always schedule my babies. I told my Doctor that I couldn't have my baby before May 21st because I didn't have a free day available. Doctor McCarter said I was the first mother he knew of that was actually trying to get him to keep the baby in, than beg for him to get it to get out. Ha ha. I had been have TONS of contractions the entire month of May. By the time I hit my last doctor appointment, I was 80% effaced and dilated to a 3+. The baby's head was down and I was ripe and ready to deliver baby #6.
And now, we finally get to the birth story.
It was Wednesday, May 20th, and it had been a very busy morning. I had been at the school doing various activities, and my parents were set to arrive after lunch. My parents were coming because I was scheduled to be induced the next morning, May 21st. This particular evening was Extreme Rhythm's end of the year concert, so I was busy getting costumes ready for the evening show. This was kind of my final "hoorah" before the baby would come the next day.
I hadn't felt the baby move at all during the morning. I didn't think too much of it, because it would happen now and again, especially on days that I was busy. I had some lunch and rested on the bed for a bit to see if I could feel some movement. I didn't, but I didn't think too much of it. We went about getting ready for the recital. During the show, I noticed I wasn't really feeling any movement. At this point, I thought maybe if I ate some food and rested, I would for sure feel the baby after that. Nope. I was having some minor contractions so I took a bath, hoping it might relax me enough to feel the baby move. Nope. Jason strongly encouraged we go to the hospital. So we did. Praying all the way there.
We got to the hospital sometime close to 9:00 PM? I can't remember exactly. We explained that I hadn't felt my baby move all day, and they promptly sent us back to check me. Thankfully we heard a heartbeat. I can't even begin to explain the relief I felt at that point. I was having some irregular contractions and the nurse explained she was going to check to see how far I was dilated. If I had progressed any, they would just admit me, and I wouldn't be sent home. My nurse, Anna, checked me and had a look of concern on her face. She explained that she wasn't feeling the baby's head. Nevermind that he had been head down the *entire* time. She did a quick ultrasound and it confirmed what she thought. This baby had turned. Not only turned, but the chord was still wrapped once around the babies neck. I had a slight moment of panic, and my nurse assured me that everything was going to be fine. She said that they would be admitting me because I was indeed in labor. I was going to have this baby. Then the words "C-Section" came out of her mouth. Quite honestly I don't remember anything she said after that. I kept holding on to the words "C-Section" and I couldn't wrap my head around that. I have had 5 regular births....I don't do c-sections....do I?
Anna explained that she needed to go call Dr. McCarter and see what he wanted to do. We waited not-so-patiently as she contacted him. Thankfully it didn't take very long because he was already at the hospital delivering his 6th baby of the day.
Dr. McCarter performed an ultrasound and confirmed Nurse Anna's suspicions. This baby had turned. But he didn't just turn upside down. This baby was transverse. Meaning, he was exactly sideways, the worst possible scenario. The doctor left to "make a plan" and meanwhile nurse Ann comforted me. She was the perfect nurse for me. She was so very sweet and encouraging.
Dr. McCarter came back in and said he wanted to try and turn the baby. He explained that he wanted to get an epidural going beforehand in case anything went wrong. The plan was to get an epidural, and then Dr. McCarter would turn the baby. Once the babie's head was down, he would quickly break my water and then I could have this baby. The nurses were encouraging the doctor to move me to a different room, but Dr. McCarter said he wanted to keep me close to the operating room in case anything "hit the fan" (my sister heard him say this in the hallway). By this time my sister and parents were both at the hospital. I was so grateful to have them there, even though they couldn't be in the room with me. The plan was for this baby to turn, then I could move to a big room and my parents and sister would be there for the delivery.
We decided to move forward with this plan. Dr. McCarter said turning a baby can be quite painful, so he wanted to make sure that I had an epidural. Once the epidural kicked in, he would come in and begin turning. My epidural went in nicely and the anaesthesiologist was absolutley the best one I've ever had. His bedside manners were off the charts. Once the epidural was in and working, a team of doctors/nurses came in to turn the baby. They laid me down flat on my back, then squirted an entire bottle of sonogram jelly on my tummy. Then Dr. McCarter started turning. I was so thankful I had the epidural, because it was painful even with the heavy drugs.
Suddenly, we lost the babies heart beat. It went silent for what seemed like days, but then it came back. Only it came back SUPER slow. It was terrifying! Dr. MaCarter yelled at the nurses to flip me over and give me oxygen. He yelled "We've got to get this baby out!" Then he started counting down seconds... 38...37...36...35. At this point I started to panic. Jason was there holding my hand reassuring me that it was going to be fine.There was a brief moment that I thought we were going to lose this baby. As they were rushing me into the operating room I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I knew that even if I didn't get to raise my baby here on earth, I would have him forever because Jason and I were sealed in the temple. That is a moment I will never forget. I was so grateful for the warm and peaceful feeling that rushed over me, and even more grateful for the plan of salvation.
It all happened SO fast. They threw some gowns at Jason and told him to get them on quickly so he could be in the operating room during the C - section. For a minute I wasn't sure he was going to make it. Thankfully I had an epidural in my system, and the doctor was able to just cut right in. Jason said Dr. McCarter sliced open my stomach and ripped the rest of the way with his hands. He said it was CRAZY to watch. But then it was over. Just like that. Our sweet little Samuel was born at 10:53 pm. After pulling him out of my stomach, they rushed him over to be weighed. He weighed in at 7 lb 8 0z. WAY smaller than we were expecting.
But he was here. And he was perfect. And my heart grew 6 sizes at that moment.
Samuel had swallowed some of my fluids while coming out of my stomach, so they took him straight to NICU because he was not breathing great. This was the first time I had not been able to hold my baby after a delivery and it was excruciating. I just wanted to love on him, and they took him away from me.
While the doctor was stitching me up, my blood pressure dropped dramatically. Everything started to go in slow motion, I felt extremely light headed and it felt like I was going to pass out. I saw the big hospital lights up above me and I started to fade. It honestly felt like I was dying. I kept thinking to myself: "I'm going to meet Jesus right now." The amazing anaesthesiologist pumped me full of medication, my blood pressure went up, and I felt much better.
Unfortunately I was losing a lot of blood. So they also pumped me full of medication to try and clot my blood. All of this medication made me a little woozy and I was shaking like crazy.
Dr. McCarter stapled me up and I was admitted into a nice room. My parents and sister came into the room to check on me. At this point they had NO idea what had just happened. My parents were waiting to hear back from me, and as they came in my mom said "So what did they decide to do? What is going to happen? Are you going to have a baby tonight?" I said, "Mom, he's here. It's alreay done." The look on her face was hilarious. She was shocked that it happened so fast.
We explained the whole story to my family, but I was getting so tired. I needed to rest. I think my sister and parents finally left around 1 am. I sent Jason home around 4 am. He needed some rest too.
The night was TERRIBLE. I hardly slept a wink. I was hemorrhaging and so my sweet nurse had to pump me full of more medication to stop the bleeding. Plus, I wanted to hold my little baby boy and he was still in the NICU. It wasn't until about lunchtime the next day I was finally able to meet my little bundle of joy. And it was worth every minute.
Just look at those squish-able cheeks. Be still my heart.
Grandma and Grandpa Morrison meeting baby Sam for the first time.
The kids were SO excited to meet their little brother.
After 14 years, Zachary finally has a brother!
Jason spent the night in the hospital on one of my particular rough nights. This poor guy was SO tired, but he was totally there for me when I needed him. I was in the hospital from Wednesday to Sunday, much longer than with my other children. I am so grateful for my parents, my sister, neighbors, friends, ward members, family, etc. I received much love and support. We are so grateful Samuel is finally with us. We have been praying for him to come to our family for a long time.
Anna explained that she needed to go call Dr. McCarter and see what he wanted to do. We waited not-so-patiently as she contacted him. Thankfully it didn't take very long because he was already at the hospital delivering his 6th baby of the day.
Dr. McCarter performed an ultrasound and confirmed Nurse Anna's suspicions. This baby had turned. But he didn't just turn upside down. This baby was transverse. Meaning, he was exactly sideways, the worst possible scenario. The doctor left to "make a plan" and meanwhile nurse Ann comforted me. She was the perfect nurse for me. She was so very sweet and encouraging.
Dr. McCarter came back in and said he wanted to try and turn the baby. He explained that he wanted to get an epidural going beforehand in case anything went wrong. The plan was to get an epidural, and then Dr. McCarter would turn the baby. Once the babie's head was down, he would quickly break my water and then I could have this baby. The nurses were encouraging the doctor to move me to a different room, but Dr. McCarter said he wanted to keep me close to the operating room in case anything "hit the fan" (my sister heard him say this in the hallway). By this time my sister and parents were both at the hospital. I was so grateful to have them there, even though they couldn't be in the room with me. The plan was for this baby to turn, then I could move to a big room and my parents and sister would be there for the delivery.
We decided to move forward with this plan. Dr. McCarter said turning a baby can be quite painful, so he wanted to make sure that I had an epidural. Once the epidural kicked in, he would come in and begin turning. My epidural went in nicely and the anaesthesiologist was absolutley the best one I've ever had. His bedside manners were off the charts. Once the epidural was in and working, a team of doctors/nurses came in to turn the baby. They laid me down flat on my back, then squirted an entire bottle of sonogram jelly on my tummy. Then Dr. McCarter started turning. I was so thankful I had the epidural, because it was painful even with the heavy drugs.
Suddenly, we lost the babies heart beat. It went silent for what seemed like days, but then it came back. Only it came back SUPER slow. It was terrifying! Dr. MaCarter yelled at the nurses to flip me over and give me oxygen. He yelled "We've got to get this baby out!" Then he started counting down seconds... 38...37...36...35. At this point I started to panic. Jason was there holding my hand reassuring me that it was going to be fine.There was a brief moment that I thought we were going to lose this baby. As they were rushing me into the operating room I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I knew that even if I didn't get to raise my baby here on earth, I would have him forever because Jason and I were sealed in the temple. That is a moment I will never forget. I was so grateful for the warm and peaceful feeling that rushed over me, and even more grateful for the plan of salvation.
It all happened SO fast. They threw some gowns at Jason and told him to get them on quickly so he could be in the operating room during the C - section. For a minute I wasn't sure he was going to make it. Thankfully I had an epidural in my system, and the doctor was able to just cut right in. Jason said Dr. McCarter sliced open my stomach and ripped the rest of the way with his hands. He said it was CRAZY to watch. But then it was over. Just like that. Our sweet little Samuel was born at 10:53 pm. After pulling him out of my stomach, they rushed him over to be weighed. He weighed in at 7 lb 8 0z. WAY smaller than we were expecting.
Dr. McCarter stapled me up and I was admitted into a nice room. My parents and sister came into the room to check on me. At this point they had NO idea what had just happened. My parents were waiting to hear back from me, and as they came in my mom said "So what did they decide to do? What is going to happen? Are you going to have a baby tonight?" I said, "Mom, he's here. It's alreay done." The look on her face was hilarious. She was shocked that it happened so fast.
We explained the whole story to my family, but I was getting so tired. I needed to rest. I think my sister and parents finally left around 1 am. I sent Jason home around 4 am. He needed some rest too.
The night was TERRIBLE. I hardly slept a wink. I was hemorrhaging and so my sweet nurse had to pump me full of more medication to stop the bleeding. Plus, I wanted to hold my little baby boy and he was still in the NICU. It wasn't until about lunchtime the next day I was finally able to meet my little bundle of joy. And it was worth every minute.
