Connections Broken

Skreeeeech!

The car skidded to an immediate stop on a remote highway leading to Paris's estate.

" I hate to do this, but put your hands where I can see them." Paris demanded as she pulled a small .22 caliber pistol.

Her glaze was uncompromising and the familarity I once knew was gone. Suddenly her eyes shifted, the heiress revealed her true form.

"Your eyes... They move independent from each other...You are a Chameleo Sapien! But that's impossible!" I felt a chill go down my spine and perspiration beaded on my brow.

The Chameleo Sapien Race was believed to be eradicated by the Columbian guerillas. Their simple existence was destroyed when Pablo Escobar decided that the trees they lived in (Cocaena Trees) yielded something much more profitable then a home. The guerillas showed no mercy taking their homes and their lives. The corrupt Columbian goverment denies the everything. But one amazing attribute the Chameleo Sapiens possessed was the ability to blend in with their surroundings, which explains Paris's survival.

"I was ordered to take you alive. But if you don't cooperate, I have no problem breaking orders." Paris cocked the pistol.

"Who send for me?! Paris don't do this."

"Do you know what it is like to have everything you've ever known and everyone you love to be taken away from you!?" The tears poured out of her lazy eyes.

Her attention detached from me and to the steering column of the Benz. I seized the moment and reached in my jacket pocket to grab the magical golden griffin feather I kept to ward off evil puffins. I drove it right into her back.

"EEEEEEE!" The magic of the feather destroys anything that resembles a bird and in this case it made no exception.

She disappeared in a blinding flash of light. The only thing that remained was a business card with the name and a riddle.

Count John Stamos

Bleeh! Bleeh! You can say my

cards are always a FULL HOUSE!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Something stunk and it wasn't me. But one thing was for sure, I was going to get to the bottom of this...

Career Change or Career Flop?

After Sir Simmons the Flexible betrayed me by stealing my magical unicorn and selling her for roller skating shorts and a Revlon Perming kit, we decided that our time together had to end. It was hard to see a fellow battle comrade fall so far from the top. Our quest ended and I was left with the difficult decision to either continue my quest or change the course of my existence.

I was watching my favorite TV show, Corner Gas on WBN, when I discovered that there was a Writers Strike in Hollywood! I thought, 'This was my chance'! It was like a sign that I was suppose to save the American Public from the mundane curse of reality TV.

I packed up my things and wore my most beautiful dress, and hey, it was an excuse to get my hair done. Blonde curls! Lacey dress! Hollywood here I come!

At least, that's what I thought. Hollywood or as the pros call it, "H-town" can swallow you up and spit you out. I landed my first gig as a back up dancer for Zac Efron on the set of High School Musical 2. Zac quickly felt threatened by my pop and lock skills. He confronted me in my trailer.

"Hey, just remember who the star is!" Zac said as he tighten the bandana around his neck.

"Look I'm just giving 100 percent! I can't help it that my body moves like a seductive cobra everytime I hear your voice!" I couldn't hold it back, his eyes told a thousand stories of me as the protagontist and he was the narrator.

Zac look up up at me. Through the strands of high-lighted hair and beneath his waxed eyebrows, I saw a tear roll down his cheek. And the softness that resided in his eyes disappeared.

"You don't know what it's like to be me! Don't act like you know me!!" Zac ran out with his smooth palms over his face. I later found out that he was so upset that he was hospitalized later that day.

Days went by and I didn't hear back from the studio. Paris told me that it was normal to be blown off by the cast if you showed any real kind of talent. We were eating sushi at the Koi. It was her favorite night spot. Full of celebrites and hungry pho-togs, you always had to be careful what you wore and how you wore it. Sorry people, no sheer see-thru tops for this guy!

Paris finished her spicy tuna roll and motioned to me that she was ready to go. We ran thru the flashes and screams into her car. But nothing was going to prepare me for what happened later that night...

The Warriors

Sir Simmons the Flexible,
Kangaroo in Battle Mode, and the dreaded Lindsinator!

Confidential: For Members of the Pelican Army

As sure as the sun will rise at dawn, and as sure as the flowers will bloom in spring, you can count on me continuing my quest to find the magic elf queen "Lindsedia". I only have an old photo to aid me in this treacherous journey. I hear that she is guarded by a mighty gladiator titan known as, " Lindsinator". By the strength of my Kangaroo powers and the wisdom of my sidekick Sir Simmons the Flexible, we will be victorious!