Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 23 December 25 @ 1318

So, referencing back to the scribble that was scribbled on 19 December, the question of whether or not oral sex is really sex.

First thought is, duh, if it wasn’t sex, they wouldn’t call it sex. Which evokes memories of such discussions back in the day and when men and women would get caught cheating but as far as they were concerned, if it was only cocksucking or pussy eating, then “eating ain’t cheating.” And men and women both would say, “Well, uh, okay, as long as y’all didn’t fuck!” – but some men and women would bring the fire and brimstone because cheating is still cheating.

Back in the day, a lot of peers were of a mind that oral sex wasn’t sex. My own experiences with it said that it was sex. Pie-in-the-sky and pseudo-intelligent discussions about what constitutes intercourse, which to everyone is, in fact, sex… and the only thing that can be called sex and then, the dick goes in the pussy and nowhere else.

Ah, but the dick can go in the ass; it can go in the mouth; if you’ve never tongue-fucked a pussy, whew, ya mon, thems some good eatin’, betcha by golly, wow! Religion, the bane of our sexual existence, decreed that masturbation, sodomy, fellatio, and cunnilingus were forbidden, not because they weren’t considered to be sex but because – wait for it – no babies are being conceived. Well, um, unless you fuck her after you eat the shit out of her but now, we’re talking about the “official” definition of intercourse and what sex is considered to be.

In almost every state in the US, and in the many cities and other locales, there are laws on the books that make masturbation, sodomy, fellatio, and cunnilingus illegal and when I found out that this was true in my home state and city, I was like, “How the fuck would they know?” and it came to pass that such laws were considered to be unenforceable since, usually, they took place behind closed doors but, ahem, if you got caught giving a blowjob in the back seat in the parking lot, yeah, you could be charged with a crime and one you probably didn’t know was still a crime since it’s still on the books as one.

I remember having this discussion with a guy and I had said, “Look, if your dick is in my mouth and I’m about to get you off, I’m having sex with you and especially when you start fucking my mouth!” He’s trying to tell me that it isn’t sex and… it hit me how… gullible we are to have believed something that some very dead people had to say about giving and getting head and we still tend to believe it today.

I said to that same guy, “You have an opinion about it; your opinion doesn’t mesh with the facts of the matter so, in essence, what you think is irrelevant to the issue at hand. You’re entitled to your opinion, of course, but oral sex is sex – and sex that isn’t intercourse. Masturbation is sex that you can do to and with someone else but definitely all by yourself.”

“Masturbation is a sin,” he said.

“No, it isn’t and it never was,” I said. “See, somebody who died a long time ago started this lie and people still want to believe it. Show me in the bible where they said that God said it’s a sin.” I went in the other room and grabbed a bible and handed it to him and I gotta give it to him: He really sat there and went through the Old Testament, and I could tell the moment when he realized that I was right because he got this look on his face and I just shrugged.

“Oral sex is a form of sex that religion and our social norms don’t want us to be doing – but can’t really stop us from doing it,” I said.

When a guy in 2025 says that as far as he’s concerned, oral sex isn’t sex, well, damn, how sad is this in reality? Many say, “Eh, it’s just foreplay so it’s not really sex…” and, yes, giving and getting head before intercourse is part of the service, but one can give and get head and no putting A into B is wanted or even needed but it remains true that just because you think it’s not sex does not mean that it isn’t sex… because it is.

This conversation on the forum kinda rolled into another one about virginity and whether or not one is still a virgin if they are, in fact, having oral sex which was the thing to do to preserve one’s virginity – and like we’re told to do – but to be able to do something about those raging hormones that can override common sense so if you got to give or get head instead of being able to fuck, well, y’all were still having sex so, technically, one can say that if you’re a girl and you give a guy a blowjob, virginity has gone out the window but we associate the loss of virginity with intercourse because according to the folks who defined sex for us, the only allowable sex is intercourse and intercourse is dick in pussy and nothing else.

The blowjob is the seriously major attraction for guys who like to have sex with other guys. We’ve come up with a slew of reasons why it makes all the sense in the world for guys to blow each other and to the point where we now question whether or not it’s a “gay thing” to do since, um, a lot of guys who are sucking cock aren’t gay… and they might even insist that they’re straight. Not that many of them that I know of will say that oral sex ain’t sex but, yeah, some will insist that, in their opinion, the only sex that really happens is when homey buries the bone deep in the other guy’s ass… but sodomy isn’t considered to be sex since the dick ain’t going into a vagina (and like it’s supposed to be done) and… my goodness, doesn’t this get a tiny bit complicated?

I thought so and after the very first time I participated in such a discussion, and I had to take a very big step away from the opinions of those in the conversation and to be able to understand that those four things I mentioned earlier in this scribble are, indeed, sex – and forbidden sex at that.

And really – if oral sex isn’t sex, what is it? Now, with those who have the opinion that oral sex isn’t sex? Ask them this question and see if they’re able to answer it and I’ve yet to meet someone who, after being asked this question, can answer it and it makes sense and it’s not their opinion. Intercourse, as it turns out, is only one form of having sex. You can use your hand, fingers and hell, yeah, your mouth, lips, and tongue to give someone pleasure and orgasmic release/ejaculation and A never gets to meet B or C.

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 19 December 25 @ 1446

There are actually two thoughts today but the one that prompted this scribble might wait until another day. What prompted this scribble was a response to a post about whether or not oral sex is actually sex and, for now, I’ll just say that the responses were… predictably traditional thinking.

Which got me thinking about whether or not sex between men is a matter of sexuality… or just plain old sex. One of the many questions asked is, “If a guy is straight but is having sex with other guys, can he still say that he’s straight?” and the answer usually is, “Nope. Well, okay, if he only does it once and never does it again, sure, he can still say that he’s straight. However, if he keeps doing it, hmm, um, he’s bisexual if he’s still having sex with women as well.”

Makes sense, right? It does until the guy in question starts hemming and hawing about “I don’t do it all of the time!” and conveniently overlooks the fact that frequency doesn’t mean a damned thing – but the fact that you do it when you can means everything.

Or does it? If “Mike” goes looking for guys to have sex with, is he really “going both ways” and just for the sex and nothing more than that? This is in the face of many men insisting that the romantic aspect of bisexuality is a must so as to avoid casual sex, which is still perceived as being dangerous even though, for as long as I’ve been around, the highlight of having sex with a guy was/is that you didn’t have to be bothered with getting into a relationship and more so when, even now, being in a relationship with a guy reeks of “true homosexuality” and as I’ve read it being said.

So many guys, when professing and confessing their bisexuality, usually start their dialog with, “I’m not attracted to men…” because it has long since been presumed that if you’re into having sex with men, that means that you’re attracted to men like homosexual men are attracted to men (and like you’re supposed to be attracted to women, by the way) so you must be a homosexual.

Which would be true if the guy in question was really gay, but this flawed bit of logic falls apart when the guy in question isn’t gay and bisexual men are not homosexual men – but the labels, and as I’ve said a few times, tend to get blurred because there are gay men who, on the Kinsey scale, could be a 4 or 5 and okay with being intimate with women but could legitimately say that they’re still quite gay. The myth that gay men hate pussy is just that – a myth and just like the one that says all lesbians are man-haters, but some lesbians don’t mind getting some dick every now and then.

When a guy opens with the declaration that he’s not attracted to men (like that which means like gay men are) and that he couldn’t be in a romantic relationship with a guy, I have been made to ask, “Who says you have to?” Followed by, “All you have to do is like him enough to want to have sex with him!” and a sentiment that those who have that aversion to casual sex do not agree with because they have it in their head that you have to have a same sex relationship to be truly bisexual and… that’s never been true.

This bit of clusterfucking aside for the moment, if “Mike” discovered that having oral sex with a guy was all that and a bag of chips, does it really change his sexuality from heterosexual to bisexual? Many say it would but this assertion wouldn’t stand up to “Mike” saying, “No, I’m not bi – I’m still straight!” Even by today’s whacked-out definition, “Mike” would not be considered to be straight if he’s been sucking cock with da fellas, but he could be “shunned” because our boy “Mike” isn’t of a mind to be in any kind of relationship with a guy other than a sexual one.

For decades now, I have said, “At the root of it all, it’s just sex…” which doesn’t really negate the relationship aspects of bisexuality and more so when throughout my sexual history, guys who are not gay want more of a fuck/suck buddy than they do a boyfriend and in the loving way of things. Finding oneself in a loving relationship with a guy isn’t really outside the realm of possibility but for, let’s say, “a majority of men,” that loving relationship is a major no-go item.

Really, if you can find a guy that you like having sex with, why not try to set it up so that when it’s convenient, you two can keep right on having sex and no one is the wiser? And bringing up the question of whether or not it truly is just sex or it’s really a sexuality thing. My thinking has always been that just because you look away from the possible romantic aspects of bisexuality doesn’t remove bisexuality from being a guest at the sexuality table. If you have sex with both men and women, you’re bisexual; if you’re romantic with women but only sexual with men, you’re still bisexual.

If you’re sexual and romantic with both men and women, you’re bisexual. If you’re just sexual with both, well, fucking duh – there isn’t a person on the planet who would say that you’re not bisexual… except yourself because a lot of this sex versus sexuality thing is about self-perception or what you say you are trumps whatever it is you’re really doing… and just another indication of how fucked up in the head we, as humans, can really be.

A guy says to me via that app, “I wanna suck your dick – but I ain’t into that gay shit, aight?” It took me a moment to figure out what “that gay shit” was he was talking about and, oh, okay – no hugging, kissing, and definitely no anal sex. I did ask him for clarification on this, and he said that I was right about it. We hook up and this guy, well, suffice it to say that this clearly isn’t his first – or one hundredth – rodeo. We’re in a side-by-side 69 and I’m thinking that, shit, this guy sucks dick better than I do. We get each other off and keep at it until we both get hard again and eventually nut again.

He tells me that he’d like to see me again and I’m thinking that this isn’t going to be a problem until he says, “Man, you made me feel some kind of way…” and, uh-oh, is he thinking about something more than just sex? And before I can say, “We can talk about this…” he says that next time, um, maybe we can do some of that gay shit because he’d really like it if I were to fuck him, you know, if I didn’t mind. I actually didn’t mind but it’s a yellow flag kind of thing because if I fuck him, I know that it could potentially awaken more… romantic feelings and feelings that I’m not afraid of but getting all romantic requires a commitment that, at the time, I didn’t have the time for.

And I’d long since been aware of the power of sex to unlock things inside of us that we’d rather not have unlocked and, hmm, I think he’s been unlocked. Then he says that we don’t have to see each other again because, after all, we just had sex and that’s all we had to do; he finishes dressing and leaves and I’m really shaking my head because was this about the sex for him or something more than sex? And, in the here and now, if it’s all and just about the sex, is sexuality really a factor or can you be straight, have sex like the horniest gay man, and still be straight because it’s sex without romance and, as such, you can’t be bisexual?

Every fiber of my being says that with or without romance, you’re bisexual. You fit the general description and the definition that I learned so very long ago… and one that doesn’t even remotely resemble how it’s being defined today. If we were to forego foreplay and get right to the cocksucking, does that take bisexuality off the table and “just sex” replaces it as a major menu item? Does one really have to bisexual to have sex with both? I think so but, then again, I don’t have a problem saying that I’m bisexual and neither the sex nor whatever other romantic feelings I may have felt for guys does not serve to validate my sexuality because I had learned to validate myself in these things.

I am bisexual. I “grew up” in a sexual environment that, grudgingly, allowed that it was okay to just have sex with guys as long as things didn’t get serious – read that as getting romantic feelings. That guys like me also had sex with girls was, well, a given because we’re supposed to have sex with girls, you know, when they deem us worthy. True enough some guys turn to other guys just for the sex and! staying true to the mantra that “Men are for sex only and women are for love, sex, and relationships!” and even in the face of people, back in the late 1960s (at this point in things) insisting that if you were bisexual, you had to be the same way with guys as you are with women and while some guys really were 50/50, nah, most of us weren’t.

As guys, we could suck and fuck each other silly as long as none of that “gay shit” happens and, um, like us having sex with each other isn’t gay to begin with. But you understood where the bisexual line was being drawn in the sand and that anything other than just sex meant you were really homosexual and in denial. Until it came to be that if you didn’t have emotional feelings for a guy that didn’t include lust, well, maybe you’re not really bisexual.

Having sex just for the sake of having sex (a) doesn’t seem to be allowable and (b) has been determined to be fatally dangerous and… what the hell. We have been mindfucking ourselves to believe that we can suck and fuck each other – while still having sex with women – and denying that we are, in fact, bisexual. The sex is… integral to sexuality even though it’s not all about doing but also a matter of being but this is something that I learned as I grew and had more experiences and absorbed lots and lots of info from a lot of sources.

Tell me that I’m not bisexual because I wouldn’t want to kiss a guy and I’ll laugh in your face; ditto for trying to insist that I’m not really bisexual because I don’t mandate or require romantic emotions as a main factor to have sex with you. Make no mistake: It’s not because I can’t do those things but because I don’t want to.

Are the sex and sexuality two different things that aren’t dependent upon each other? I… don’t think so. It could be possible but, right now, I can’t see how it is.

The Daily Prompt: 18 December 25

Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
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William Bowie was my junior high school music teacher. He had told us day one that he’s been a trumpeter since he was a very young man so for those of us who either already played trumpet or were just learning, he was going to be a little harder on us.

And, in reality, he was harder on all of us, both male and female. He taught music; he introduced me and my bandmates to music we’d never heard before – Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin – and the magic of live orchestral music so we could see others who played an instrument doing it at the highest level.

He also taught us lifestyle skills like always wear a belt if your pants have belt loops – and even if you don’t need one to hold your pants up. Always carry a handkerchief and if you didn’t have any handkerchiefs, let him know and he’d get them. He was teaching us guys to be gentlemen and the girls to be young ladies, and I can’t honestly say that his life lessons stuck with all of us, but they did with me.

As a musician and teacher of music, he had all of the skills and could play every instrument in the room. I remember spending some after class time with him regarding a piece of music I had to play at assembly, and I was having a hard time with it. He said, “Stop trying to just play the notes; feel the music. Let it come to you and stop chasing it all over the manuscript. Now, from the beginning, if you please…”

I performed the piece flawlessly. It went over well, and I remember seeing him standing backstage left smiling and nodding and he’d taught me something about music that I hadn’t really known: You can play what’s written but if you can’t feel it, the piece is mechanical, by rote, and lifeless. How he was able to tie music and ‘everyday life’ together was, to me, magical but, then again, he was one hell of a teacher and one of the best I’d ever had because he just didn’t teach: He cared about us.

He always wore a three-piece suit. Shoes so well-shined you could see your reflection if you looked at his shoes. Immaculately groomed. The man could have been a GQ model. I was at a relative’s home just outside of the city and me and my cousins were roaming the neighborhood when I happened to see a man sitting on his porch and, hey, he looks like Mr. Bowie! As we got closer, my jaw dropped because not only was it Mr. Bowie but he was sitting there in a shirt and jeans… and sneakers!

“Mr. Bowie?” I asked after I picked my jaw up.

“Robert! What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I have relatives who live here,” I said and introduced my cousins to him – and come to find out that they knew who he was but, that made sense since they lived there. “I’m used to seeing you in a suit!”

“On my days off, I don’t wear suits,” he said with a laugh. “The suit is part of my professional appearance but as you see me now? This is who I am when I’m not teaching you knuckleheads!”

I was so caught up in what he was saying that my cousins left me and went… somewhere. Mr. Bowie looked thoughtful for a moment and said that he’d be right back. He went inside and came back with two trumpet cases. He handed one to me and said, “Let’s play ‘Lo How a Rose’ together. We’ll take turn with the first and second trumpet parts, okay?”

I was about to get a private lesson. “Lo How a Rose” was a piece we’d been practicing for the school’s Christmas program, and he was always getting on us trumpeters about not playing our parts with feeling and here I was, about to get a lesson in how to really play trumpet and to not just blowing in the instrument and making noise. I hadn’t even noticed that some people were standing in front of his home listening to us play (and him instructing me).

I was a moment that I cherish to this day and just like I cherish his impact on my life and especially giving my love and talent for music a needed awakening. He just didn’t teach us how to play songs; he taught us about music, its roots in classical music and how all other genres of music arose from there and he had pointed out that while there are different genres and styles and other aspects of music, all of the notes were the same.

Every last one of them. Just arranged in different ways. He had said that life is like that, too, and our job is to arrange the music of our lives so that it has feeling.

The Daily Prompt: 12 December 25

Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
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I’ve done both. I can still remember my first day as a trumpeter and we were to play for assembly, and I was so nervous that I almost peed my pants but some calming words from our music teacher worked for me and others and we went through the program she had put together for us.

Later, she let us all know that it’s normal to be nervous before a performance and in front of a lot of people and to take our mind off of the audience, just think about the music. I don’t know about anyone else but it worked for me and, much later being in local bands and performing at so many gigs – and not to forget being in high school band and having to perform at halftime or pregame and, oh, yeah, parades – I still got nervous but when I thought about the music to be played, it’d go away.

Indeed, a lot of fellow musician say that if you’re not nervous, something might be wrong with you; no one wants to get on stage, have all those people looking at you, you can hear them, oh my God what if I mess up or forget what I’m supposed to be playing or, like what happened at a club my band was playing at, I fell off the back of the platform I had my drums set up on.

Pretty embarrassing, huh?

I’d given a couple of speeches in both junior and senior high school; a whole slew of presentations in school, having to get up in front of the class and do something on the blackboard – stuff like that – and even in my career, having to give presentations or tell a room full of people why the server crashed and why it’s not going to take two minutes to fix it (and to leave me the fuck alone so I can go fix it).

The nervousness is still there but I’d just ignore it and focus on the task at hand. Learned some of the tricks of not letting all those people waiting for you to do or say something, like, staring at an object at the back of the room but envisioning them as being naked, um, whew, let’s not think about that lest something, um, comes up. Making eye contact with a friendly face but mainly take a moment to be calm, think about what has to be done or said, then go out there and do it and if shit happens, it just happens.

I’ve stepped up to give my presentation and totally forgotten what I was presenting. Being in the church choir either singing or playing piano/organ for a song and… how does the song go again? Oh, no! Fortunately, the only real disaster I had to deal with was getting up off the floor, putting my drummer’s throne back in place, and get back to playing and acting like (a) nothing happened or (b) I meant that. The funny part was that my bandmates hadn’t noticed that I’d fallen and didn’t notice that I wasn’t playing because I fell off the stage at a part of the song where I wasn’t supposed to play yet.

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

I think that once I got used to performing in front of a lot of people and in different settings, stuff like giving a speech or presentation was “easy” even though I’d be seriously nervous before the fact – just gotta set it aside and do what I had to do… then be nervous after it’s all over with.

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 11 December 25 @ 1232

There’s a reopened topic what was first posted back in 2019 about one’s first encounter having sex with another man; how that’s been fantasized or, if you’ve had that first encounter, how did it go (and all that good stuff)?

Reopening the topic has produced a lot of interesting responses and the thing that I find… amusing about such topics is that more often than not, they’re aimed at men who are fantasizing about that first encounter/already had it as an adult. I mean, it’s understandable in that, say, if I thought this was as confusing as anything I’d experienced at that specific point in my life and in my youth, I found that it’s even more confusing to adult males who, at the very least, gets this crazy urge to suck another man’s dick and find out if cum is really the acquired taste it’s always been rumored to be.

Most of the respondents are waiting for that first encounter while some have already had it and are, mostly, singing the praises of that encounter and with some guys speaking to how they were leery to dive in there but they did and… who the fuck knew that sucking a guy’s cock and swallowing his cum could be so goddamned satisfying and fun?

Um, that would be any guy who already found that out. One member accurately pointed out that a lot of men are told, taught, believe, conditioned to (a) not want to have sex with another man and (b) that if they do, they’re not supposed to like it or ever do it again and (c) add all the religious and social shit that tends to go along with stuff like this and right up to the exact moment when they learn that – wait for it – sucking a guy’s cock isn’t as bad as everyone says it is.

And the important part of it not doing a thing to change or affect his sense of his own masculinity or even sexual orientation because a blowjob is just a blowjob and regardless to who’s doing it. I tossed in my fourteen cents worth by repeating something I’ve said hundreds of times about this very same subject, that being the number of men who I was a part of their first encounter and who said, after the fact that they wondered why they hadn’t done it before now and what were they really afraid of.

I also allowed that one of the things that keeps a lot of men from having that first encounter is the disconnect that makes a lot of men believe that a man sucking their dick is oh, so very damned different from a woman doing it and, as such, this is a great unknown that, obviously, they can’t reconcile since, duh, they’ve not had oral sex with a guy. This aspect – and I’ll say ‘as usual’ – comes up since oral sex is one of the main points of entry into M2M sex, but one’s first encounter can take shape in other ways, you know, depending on some shit.

One way or another, that first encounter is going to be life-changing; it’s just a question of whether or not that change turns out to be a good or not-so-good one. The difficulty, I learned, is that when you’re an adult male and depending upon how old you are at the moment where, um, what the fuck, sucking a cock sounds like a damned good thing to get into, is that there’s a lot of baggage that has to be unloaded, sorted through, thrown out and repacked before male mouths meet cocks and for the sole purpose of making each other cum.

As you might expect, however, is that it’s easy for myself and other guys who have already had that first encounter and more such encounters than we care to admit to and tell those guys fantasizing or out there looking for their first encounter that it’s not that big of a deal and, well, just get off your ass, grow a pair, and get into some mutual cock sucking already! It’s at this point where I’ve felt that some guys… forget about their own first time and how it came about, how things went and what they had to deal with after the fact.

Or being able to pass along to the cocksucker-in-waiting that, yeah, I can tell you what it was like for me my first time, but your first time is going to be different and even more so when a lot of guys tend to go out of their way to make sure that they don’t ever have the first encounter they say they need. Interesting, isn’t it? I’ve thought so. I’ve seen and/or heard so many guys say that they really want (or need) to find out what it’s like while voicing the fears which, by the way, includes not knowing what it’ll be like for them. True enough, a guy can watch porn and see both men and women sucking cock and, well, um, how hard can it really be?

I remember this one guy who asked me that and it made me laugh and I really didn’t think that he believed me when I said that porn stars make sucking dick look stupidly easy and that, for some guys, it’s not as easy as it looks. Well, yeah, he found out and was feeling some kind of way about not being good enough and I had to tell him that I didn’t expect him to blow me like he’s a porn star who’s been doing it for a long time. Some guys are naturals at it and… some guys actually have to learn how to do it.

Some guys find that the second time is much better than the first time; I’ve had guys tell me (after the fact) that this really wasn’t for them, sorry about that, swearing on stacks of holy objects that they’ll never do it again, feeling that false sense of guilt and regret that comes with the refractory period of sex and I’ve run into them again because they either want to do it with me again or they gave into a second try and, how ’bout that?

It wasn’t all that bad. This guy asked me why he didn’t like it the first time we did it and I told him, honestly, that if he had it in his head that he wasn’t going to like it – because he was taught that he shouldn’t and that’s because it’s a very evil sin, well, he wasn’t going to like and no matter what he or I did. A lot of guys who didn’t like it the first time said, when coming back to try it again, that they had x-amount of time to really think about it and I’ve even allowed that there are other… conditions that can make the first time not all that glorious – but if they’re to do it again, they shouldn’t get stuck on that first time and, sadly, a lot of guys do.

The right guy at the right time, place, and moment. And even when these things line up nicely, there’s never any telling what’s going to pop into a guy’s head as he slurps on the other guy’s cock knob that might be a major downer, oh, like that voice I still hear in my head that tells me what I’m doing to this guy – and what he’s doing to me – is wrong, a sin, and I need to cease and desist immediately if not sooner and…

…I tell that voice to shut the fuck up because I’m kinda busy working at getting him to bust a nut in my mouth. And while I had to learn how to ignore this, so does a first-timer and even when it pops up when it’s not expected to.

Big and heavy sigh. A guy’s first encounter with this can be epic but in order for him to understand and experience this, he’s got to have his first encounter. A lot of guys learn that the reality of cocksucking may or may not match whatever fantasies they’ve had about doing this. It can be a good thing to find out from other guys what this was like for them (and what fantasies they have about it) but it should be with the clear understanding that your experiences will most certainly vary since not all first times happen the way we might want them to.

PS: Despite public opinion, a relationship is not needed in order to have that first encounter. Being romantic with another guy is not needed to have that first encounter.

Gaming: Xbox Series X: Borderlands 4… Again. Or Still.

I spent some time yesterday trying to advance my characters, including Amon who I used to beat the game and, yay, to start a new game in UVH mode and at level 30 at that; if I could have started at “level 0,” um, I might have missed that, but I can check it.

My problem is the same old annoying problem that playing any Borderlands game has presented me: Trying to defeat bad guys who are two levels above me (or higher) with weapons that are either below my current level or with weapon that are at my level but just as ineffective.

It’s something I’ve come to understand about the game. It’s one of the things that makes the games challenging to have do more with less. But there comes a point where you run into a wall; where no combat strategy you can come up with proves to be effective and all you’re doing is dying, respawning, and having your wallet emptied because dying in a Borderlands game is and can be very damned expensive.

I’m playing with the level 30 Amon I wound up creating in a new game setting. It did, in fact, put me back on the beach where I first encountered that pain-in-the-ass, Claptrap (may he rust in a watery hell). I was expecting to, you know, start the new game like I did the first day I played but, nope, just on the beach, Claptrap mercifully nowhere to be found and… what am I supposed to be doing? After a couple of days just roaming around aimlessly, I see that I need to find the safehouses again and, okay, I know what I have to do to make that happen. I’m on my way to the second one when I run into one of those buffalo-looking critters and I see that it’s a level 30 like I am when it hits my vehicle and destroys it – then it hit me and killed the shit out of me and none of my level 30 weapons were able to kill it and save me!

I’m having a major WTF moment. I know that in UVH mode, the bad guys and critters are harder to kill and tend to be a level or two higher than you are but bad guys and critters at the same level you are, well, yeah, they’re tougher but you can beat them down with the weapons you have that are also at the same level as you – and the thing you’re trying to kill – are.

Not with this game. I realized that this shouldn’t have surprised me given what it took for me to progress through the game and beat the final bosses but it did. My solution? Haul ass to the next safehouse and do not engage any of the bad guys/critters along the way. At the second safehouse, there are bad guys galore, and they gave me a fit the first time I encountered them, and this second time was seriously no better. Same level as I was… and wiping the floor with my ass.

I wound up having to respawn twice before I was able to just run right by them, get into the safehouse and activate it before two bad guys followed me inside and were trying to off me – and I barely killed them with my action skill and I’m thinking that I shouldn’t have had to use it to kill something that’s at the same level as I am but, that’s what happened and… I’m not feeling good about this.

Not. At. All. I had actually exited the game at this point because I was feeling like I really did get my ass kicked and needed to regroup. I checked on my progress with the other three characters and there was no joy there; ineffective weaponry continues to plague me. I did a respec on Vex and who is actually my highest-level Vault Hunter at level 43 and while having my minion at my side and helping me to do battle against The Timekeeper’s first iteration, yeah, I don’t have the firepower to put his ass down and, no, my side trip to do the holiday DLC resulted in lackluster loot and of all the shit that did drop, I only kept maybe one or two pieces while collecting and selling the rest as junk.

With Harlowe, I’m still stuck in the same place I was with Vex and Amon; the strategy I used with the two of them – sniping the Order baddies from distance – isn’t working all that well with Harlowe and I suspect that I’m going to have to respec her today. Rafa isn’t even past Vile Lictor yet; his second iteration keeps killing me and there’s no way for me to get a second wind even though my weapons with him are a little better in that I can defeat his first form rather quickly but it’s not easy to defeat his second form when, ultimately, he’s gonna get his licks in and I need to kill something to get that much needed second wind and… it’s back to the beginning again, costing me money, and pissing me off because either my weapons suck or I need to respect him today as well.

I had to work my ass off to defeat this boss with Vex; using her taught me how to approach beating Lictor with Amon who, inexplicably, wiped his ass the first time through. Huh. What the you-know-what? Then again, Amon’s “shield throwing thing” is pretty damned effective and it becomes a matter of finding the right and similar setting for Rafa and Harlowe so I can advance them.

Don’t get me wrong: I love the challenge that the game presents. And, for the record, I started playing the game on Easy and as I’d normally start any game so I can get feel of everything and once the game has been defeated on Easy, then it’s on to Normal, so on and so forth. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve played Borderlands games enough to know that despite my best efforts at times, I’m going to get killed and, yeah, um, sometimes, it’s my own fault and bad planning on my part or, uh, not paying attention all that much. This game, however, is taxing my patience and I can, again, see why so many other players are hating on the game so, if nothing else, I know that it ain’t just me who’s having problems playing the game.

I saw something on the game’s Facebook page that’s introducing a new rage boss along with some fixes for the game that’s supposed to be out soon (I forget when that’s supposed to happen) and I hope that the fixes improve gameplay and, should that not be the case in my not-so-humble opinion, fuck – to the battle before us!

Gaming: Xbox Series X: Borderlands 4

Amon is done with The Timekeeper and Arjay and is now roaming around trying to find something to do. Vex is still stuck at the first iteration of The Timekeeper and… I might have to take her out of there to respec her then go back and I dread the thought of doing this.

Rafa… is nowhere near being able to tackle The Timekeeper and I may have to respec him, too, because I don’t feel that his current skill tree is the right one. Harlowe – bless her heart – has made it to The Timekeeper’s tower and is kinda stuck at making it to the top but I’m not finding this unusual since it’s the same spot that I had trouble getting past with Vex but I now have another character set to face The Timekeeper.

I did take Vex out of the tower to do the holiday DLC Gearbox gave us and, yes, it adds to the dread of having to fight my way back to him but Vex needs better weapons to go along with a need to respec her… which I may or may not do today but this is just an update of where I am with the game.

What really got me thinking about this was thinking about the other Borderlands game and how, upon reaching True or Ultimate Vault Hunter mode, you could start from the beginning in TVH or UVH mode or continue from the point where you defeated the final boss which, even in those early games, kinda lost something in the translation unless there were side jobs that you hadn’t done and now that you’ve beaten the main story part of the game, you can now indulge yourself in the side jobs or just start the game over in True or Ultimate Vault Hunter mode.

Can I start a new game with Amon and be in UVH mode? I… don’t know. I got stuck on stupid with the “you gotta do this task to get to UVH!” and I’m guessing that I probably can… but what if it doesn’t work like that any longer? I think it’s a legit question because they’ve changed so much about playing the game and a lot of it that I still don’t pretend to really understand and, apparently, I’m not the only player who questions what Gearbox has done with this game, and I’ve been reading about so many complaints about the game, some I agree with because I’ve seen and experienced the things being complained about and some I have no experience with since I’m not at certain levels of play in the game and like those who are pitching a bitch about how… crappy this version of Borderlands is.

It’s like I want to play the game… and not so much at the moment. It’s like I really need to sit and think about how I should go about playing it and whether or not the information I can read from other players is going to be helpful or not. I’ll figure it out…

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 06 December 25 @ 1058

When you’re a member of an online forum and one that allows conversations about sex and sexuality, on the whole, you’re a part of what is really a small subset of people who have their own opinions, desires, levels of experience and since the days of the old and defunct MSN Forums, I’ve been fascinated by what other bisexuals have to say… about being bisexual.

Or really wanting to be. The curious guys (and an occasional woman) who’ve been bitten by the bisexual bug and in some pretty “usual” ways, guys who admit to watching porn – straight or gay – and they’ve found themselves enthralled by big, erect, members as well as a thought that I heard once I’d gotten my feet wet: What is it like?

Being on forums over the years has shown me that the… mis- and disinformation that I grew up with has well and truly been global in nature and how issues of sex and sexuality have no real borders but there are religious and cultural barriers that have been in place for the longest time that resemble each other more than we’re willing to admit that prohibit and forbid sexual behaviors that are outside of their limited purview.

And a continued belief in those things and given the access we now enjoy to a lot of very good information about bisexuality as well as a lot of stuff that makes me roll my eyes a lot and occasionally reading something that I’ve never heard before (but that doesn’t happen very often). Year after year, I sit, read, and interact with a lot of bisexual men from all over the US and in other countries and it’s truly a global brotherhood that has the same desires but inhibited by a lot of the same fears, from being outed to, gasp, STDs.

I have always said that bisexuality takes all of the things you think you know about sex and sexuality and… trashes the shit out of it since it doesn’t exactly conform to The Big Two: Straight and Gay. We know what these two things mean and I don’t really know about the generation before mine, but my generation grew up with the admonishment to pick a side and stay on it and presuming that when it came to sex and sexuality, there were only two side to this particular coin.

And me trying to figure out how and why no one seems to know much about the way I am and after having discovered that having sex with girls and boys is a lot of good, ‘nasty’ fun. It’s 2025 and people still don’t seem to understand bisexuality; I observe on the forums that people come up with their own definitions that are, usually, built on the same misinformation that I grew up hearing or, my latest peeve, that someone somewhere has said that you cannot be bisexual without being in a same-sex relationship and you cannot have any same-sex action without being in a loving relationship.

And the intelligent grown men who believe this to be the gospel truth and, perhaps, not really recognizing that this is the same mandate that religion and our social contracts insist upon up to and including the dangers of having sex outside of the relationship framework. When they talk about bisexuality, they’ve replaced “sex” with “gender” and… how do they not know that these two things aren’t even related like that?

I’ve learned a lot about what people would prefer to believe and how they can be and get when you challenge what they believe and more so when a lot of what they may believe is… socially created bullshit that to myself and a few others, stinks to high heaven and doesn’t do a damned thing to really look at and explain bisexuality and more so when, literally, it’s not that hard to understand… but it’s also not all that easy to become and/or be and thanks to the socially created bullshit that’s been around for the longest time – and bullshit that’s designed to make bisexuality so damned difficult that anyone thinking about checking this out will be discouraged and have to suffer with having their fears preyed upon, i.e., if your family finds out that you’re not straight, they’ll hate you forever and disown you.

Or all of your friends will desert you; if you have a job, you’ll lose it and won’t be able to get another one and you will become disease-ridden and fated to die a horrible, messy death. But if you do this in a relationship setting – and FWB is and has been a relationship mode – then… you’re good but your problem is going to be finding an FWB while hiding out in the closet lest others find out that you go both ways… and like something’s wrong with you.

It just fascinates the shit out of me to see men in 2025 afraid of the stuff I was told to be afraid of sixty years ago. The backhanded insistence that if you were to get an FWB and establish that loving relationship with him, eh, you’re probably really gay and should just admit that you are. One forum member I know of says that he’s embraced being fully gay, but he’s still attracted to women, and this confuses him and my own personal thought of, “Why are you confused?”

But, then again, people still believe that gay men aren’t and cannot be attracted to women, sexually or otherwise. I’m thinking that if straight dudes can have sex with other dudes and maintain – insist – that they’re still straight, then gay dudes can have sex with women and maintain/insist that they’re still gay and… welcome to the way all this can really work if/when you strip away all of the dumb shit whose only purpose is to confuse, mislead, and misinform while still trying to prey on your fears.

When I first heard a gay dude admit that he had sex with women, but it wasn’t something he’d do all of the time, I almost pissed on myself while laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe for a moment or two. He didn’t understand why I found this funny and he’d gotten offended until I told him, “You just said the same thing that I’ve heard straight guys say about getting some dick!” Now he’s laughing along with me, and for me, it was yet another lesson in the differences between what you could do versus what you prefer to do.

Guys complaining about all the guys they encounter who just and only want to have sex with them and how… unhappy they are about this and their insistence that it shouldn’t be like this and then, here I come to let them know that, um, er, why do you think a lot of guys embrace bisexuality? It’s not for the romance: It’s for the sex as a prime focus and it’s always been like this as that prime focus except, these days, there’s still that push to change this focus so that bisexuality operates under the same rules for having sex that religion and social contracts only allow: No fornication. Thou shalt not screw someone without being in a relationship with them. Ever.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it continues to demonize, um, fornication. Thou shalt not have sex just for the sake of having sex and no matter what your body is telling you. Know ye that this kind of sex is meaningless and thou shalt not have any sex that doesn’t mean anything. I grew up being told this and… guys in 2025 seem to believe this. Still. Over the years, I’ve had some interesting conversations with both men and women about why they think that sex without a relationship is meaningless; I’ve wanted to see if they catch on to the fact that they’re believing something that someone else told them to believe and, nope, not very many of them did have that lightbulb moment and when they did, they were surprised.

Because we’ve been told that sex without love has no meaning. We believe this. Bisexuality taught me not to believe it because, um, I could get a blowjob from a guy, and it meant that he got me off and… how this doesn’t mean anything bugged me for the longest time until I was better able to understand the clusterfuck that is our views on sex and sexuality that haven’t changed much or at all during my time on the planet. Indeed, one of the highlights of being willing and able to have sex with a guy was the unadulterated fact that you didn’t have to go through the same crap you’d have to go through in order to have sex with a woman… or certain gay men.

Having sex with strings attached is all well and good… but so is having sex without those strings but this is kinda like sexuality in that you can be required to pick a side and stay on it: SA versus the more evil and reviled NSA kind of sex… which is the sin of fornication. It’s why when I write about this I’ll often speak to “the reality of this” because there’s this… idealism that we are made to live by where sex and sexuality is concerned and then there’s the reality that takes that idealism and gives it a good shaking and tells so many of us to wake the fuck up… because the matrix has us.

And being online and in forums paints an interesting picture of what men (mostly) think about sex and sexuality…

Gaming: Xbox Series X: Borderlands 4

The Timekeeper is “dead.”

I cranked up the game the day before yesterday and sighed heavily as I tried to make up my mind which of the four characters I was going to play with. Two of them are “stuck” at the same point in the game with The Timekeeper and two stuck trying to whup Vile Lictor’s ass and, to my chagrin, consistently failing; this alone was making me feel some kind of way, but I chose Amon to start punishing myself with the game.

I’d left Amon – and, really, myself, a bit bewildered because I had defeated The Timekeeper, only to find that he had another version! I was… emotionally drained battling him; I had good weapons, Amon was/is configured nicely (I hoped), and what the fuck, Gearbox? I had shut the game down because I felt like I’d just been kicked in the crotch.

So, when I cranked it up, I got over myself and girded my loins to take up arms against The Timekeeper with Amon and I dove into it, not so much with a passion but with determination; beating his ass that last time taught me how to be better at it and I put a major beating on his ass and when he shouted, “Enough!” and started talking about some shit that, once again, I didn’t pay any attention to because I was getting ready to face his second form – and one I had no idea how to fight.

As it turned out, his second form was “easier” to open up a can of Whoop Ass on and I was working hard not to get killed at this point because I suspected that had I died, I’d have to go back and fight his first version all over again. Yeah, no, I wasn’t feeling that, and I was motivated to not do that. I kicked his second form’s ass; loot was falling from the sky and I’m listening for the telltale “ping” of a Legendary appearing along with its golden aura and I was a bit disappointed to not get one (and after all the work I’d put into this); Lilith shows up to say… something but said, “Let’s see what The Timekeeper was hiding in here…”

I enter the Vault and, I’ll say, ‘stupidly’ expecting to see a Vault interior similar to Borderlands 3 and there’s some weird shit going on in this Vault and there are no goodies – but there’s Arjay, the guy who broke me out of The Timekeeper’s prison and, well, during the escape attempt, he didn’t make it because The Timekeeper possessed his body and stabbed him in the chest with his own knife and, well, that sucked to be him. This isn’t the first time seeing the “ghost” of Arjay; he showed up a couple of times talking shit that, again, I wasn’t really paying attention to, and I had even chided myself about that because, sometimes, characters will tell you something useful and, well, damn, here’s Arjay with his “fake” Siren powers and… let’s get ready to rumble. Again.

At this point, I had paused the game. Got up to stretch and go to the bathroom and I even fixed myself another cup of coffee, brushed the dog after tossing the ball for him, sighed, and now it’s time to see what Arjay has in store for me. The short version of this is… he had nothing for me. He was actually easier to defeat than The Timekeeper and I recalled reading something about the game where Reddit players were saying that Gearbox should have made Arjay the final boss, but they didn’t and Arjay got his ass kicked and I got… four chests of useless weapons.

All that work; all the times I got my ass kicked and my prize for defeating the final bosses was four chests with crappy weapons in them – all of them were green and that meant that they were slightly better than the white colored weapons you could see in the game. I… wasn’t happy about this discovery but of greater import, I beat Borderlands 4.

Now on to Ultimate Vault Hunter mode! I didn’t know what to expect at this point, so I was a bit baffled to wind up back at Moxxi’s bar there’s Lilith chilling at the bar and I have to talk to her and… what do you mean that I have to complete a task to get to UVH? My eyes rolled so hard that they hurt as I’m reading what I have to do and, shit, the game took me back to a part of the game that, honestly, frustrated the shit out of me. I find myself fixing up a city again and, okay, fuck, I remember doing this and I know where I’m going to wind up but I have no idea how different it might be when I get to the part that pissed me off repeatedly.

I get to that part of the mission; a Ripper comes running at me and, equipped with that killer shotgun that took out The Timekeeper and the others, I ripped the Ripper a new one and was starting to move on my next target when the dead Ripper spawned a singularity and, okay, I know I didn’t do this because, well, I didn’t do it! I get away from the singularity, blast the two Rippers who ran up on me while I was pondering the origin of the singularity and… now there’s two singularities and what the fuck is going on?

I had a few moments to wonder about this as the double singularities killed me and I had to respawn and rush back to do battle but now I understand that every bad guy I kill is going to spawn a singularity and, why Gearbox? Why? In every Borderlands game that I’ve played, there’s at least one job or mission that has to be done and I just hate it and this… UVH qualification task is one such mission but I’m fighting hard to work through it until, finally, I get to catch up with Zane – and curse him for running off in the first damned place! – and I’m really kicking back and letting Zane do all of the killing except when a Ripper decides to bum rush me and I gotta get away from the resulting singularity but we get past killing Rippers to find the prisoners and… nothing’s happening.

The game hasn’t locked up because I’m running around looking for anything I might have missed but I didn’t miss anything, but the game isn’t progressing and there’s nothing I can do other than to quit the game and reopen it. The mistake I made was thinking that when the game restarted, I’d be at the last spawn point before the game had a brain fart but, no – I’m back in the bar with Lilith and… I have to do this all over again.

Fuck. Me. If I’m being a bit too profane at this point, I’ll ask for your forgiveness but this mission sucks. Driller Hole isn’t that bad of a boss but trying to kill him keeps you busy with all the other Rippers swarming to take you out and now, killing them releases those singularities and, as you might expect, trying to get away from them and getting out of their rather large blast zone isn’t that easy at this point in things. What I know – and what I learned from the first time facing Driller – is that I do not want to die and have to respawn to do this all over again in some way so, sorry, Driller – you gots to go.

It was touch and go but Driller got smashed and, how ’bout that – he dropped a Legendary! I hurried up and snatched it up and the only thing I know about it is that it’s not a gun. I get transported back to Lilith and the bar and congratulations – I’ve earned Ultimate Vault Hunter mode! I’m reading some stuff about how UVH works and, okay, I think I understand it but I’m already thinking about having to do this… three more times and Vex is the other character who is at the precipice of trying to take out The Timekeeper but I’ve not yet figured out how to off him – but I get close.

Normally, I would feel elated to have beaten a Borderlands game – but not this time and I’m not sure I understand my lack of elation at this point but if I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 30 November 25 @ 1530

Is bisexuality difficult? Is being bisexual as hard as everyone seems to think it is?

My answer to both questions is, well, no, it’s not really that difficult and it’s not that hard… but. Even way back in my emergence as a male bisexual, social shit influenced what I and others thought about sexuality, i.e., heterosexuality good, homosexuality bad and nobody in their right mind would want to be both.

I heard a lot of shit that was totally against not being straight and it was confusing because, on the one hand, it was evil, dirty, and nasty – and so was having sex, period – but on the other hand, whew, who knew that having sex with a boy could be so damned exciting and feel so good?

I would come to understand that society at large did know this… and preferred that no one knew it and “those damned homosexuals” were living proof that being heterosexual wasn’t the only way to be but even then, I knew that I wasn’t a homosexual and, really, there was a lot of shit that I continued to believe as I grew up that I’d eventually learn was more misinformation than the truth but it’s like what they say about lying: If you tell a lie long enough, it can become the truth oh, like, all homosexual men hate women and all lesbians hate men and… that’s not really the whole truth of things but just some convenient shit to say as part of the ongoing smear campaign against homosexuality.

Being bisexual isn’t hard. Now, trying to find someone you can be bisexuality can be very difficult because (a) there’s no way to tell who is bisexual and who isn’t and (b) social bullshit designed to stop people from having homosexual sex still rules the roost like telling people that in order for you to be bisexual, you had to have a same-sex relationship.

I’m learning all kinds of things in my pursuit of understanding bisexuality, not only in myself but in others and, yes, mainly the guys I wanted to have sex with but they were chock full of fear, misconceptions, and misinformation and like the guy who told me that, yes, he wanted us to suck each other off but he was afraid that if he did that, it would make him gay. He had me wondering how it was possible to want to do something so badly – and as he said he did – but wasn’t going to because he heard it would make him gay.

“Do I look like I’m gay? Do I even act like I’m gay?” I had asked him. I was frustrated and confused his declaration because I knew that it wasn’t true… and I really wanted and needed to suck that dick. It took me over an hour to convince him that if we do this, it’s not going to instantly make you gay. At the time, it was believed that gay men hated women and pussy and for me to have oral sex with the guy, I had to admit that… I had screwed his sister. Quite a few times, too. He wasn’t happy about that but in his mind, this was proof that I wasn’t gay and us blowing each other wasn’t going to make him gay and after we sucked each other off the first time, I asked him, “Do you feel like you’re gay?”

He said he didn’t and now he’s confused because what he heard and believed conflicted with what had just happened and only served to keep showing me how insidious the smear campaign really was and how the very social nature of this really fucked with the minds of many a man and woman who knew within themselves that they were bisexual but, well, they were believing a bunch of misconceptions and outright lies that made acting on their bisexual feelings a great difficulty.

It was believed that if you had sex with a guy, you liked guys like you would like a woman or, yeah, you’re a queer gay scum sucking faggot and it didn’t “make sense” to tell someone who believed this that, no, um, you don’t have to be gay to want to have sex with a guy – but you did have to want to do it and you had to find something you liked about him and enough to want to have sex with him, you know, if he wasn’t afraid to. And, needless to say, a lot of guys were deathly afraid to.

They still are. One of the things I’ve been asking myself for, oh, the last twenty years or so is why do we keep making this harder than it has to be and as it already is? The answer is that social bullshit is still putting shit in the game with a lot of dubious information and spinning it in ways that keeps guys sitting on the sidelines. Even I would learn, early on, that the horror stories that were being told about not being straight had some truth to them but weren’t the whole truth and… the devil was really in the details, or your experiences will vary.

It’s how I learned how people tend to believe perception over the truth. That the ever-present smear campaign that was designed to assist in eradicating homosexuality is still hanging out and many a bisexual keep believing it as the gospel truth and, no, it isn’t but in order to understand this, um, you gotta stop believing it first.

Being bisexual is easy. Doing the same-sex stuff isn’t all that easy for everyone and, yeah, you’d think that it would be easy but, once again, the social bullshit that’s been passed down from generation to generation – and the advent of social media – continues to make bisexuality hard to accept in a lot of people, like, really, being bisexual isn’t a stop along the way to being gay – and in 2025, people still believe this lie and one that I heard in 1969. Do some folks go from straight to bi to gay?

Yes. Does everyone go from bi to gay? Fuck no. We even failed to believe that some folks can go… in reverse – from gay to bi to even straight. I’d learn about the fluidity of sexuality before it became a “thing” to be bandied about on social media and by people who, at the least, sounded like they knew what they were talking about but all they were really doing was propagating the bullshit that I grew up hearing while adding the relationship thing as just more bullshit to fuck with someone’s head.

Guys were saying that they weren’t attracted to men and, as such, there was no way they could have sex with a man and despite being curious about it and it would, one day in the late 1980s, ask a guy, “Who says you have to? All you gotta to is like him enough to want to have sex with him!” But before this point in time, I was aware of the fact that a lot of people believed that there was no difference between a bisexual and a homosexual because all they were looking at and paying attention to was the homosexual sex that was going on.

They refused to believe that you didn’t have to be gay to suck a guy’s dick or, yeah, to fuck him in the ass – you just had to want to and if you were still about the ladies, well, by definition, that made you bisexual even if you didn’t want to believe that… and in 2025, there are people who will tell you that they like sex with men and women… but they’re not bisexual and this is a continuation of the social bullshit smear campaign to denounce both bi- and homosexuality.

A guy actually told me that if he touched another man’s cock, it would give him HIV/AIDS and it would kill him. I hurt myself laughing at that and, yeah, it pissed him off and I didn’t even think about being apologetic about laughing at him… because he was believing a lie. Just like how guys today believe that if they engage with hooking up with a guy, they will become infected with something – and they believe it in the face of being told that, no, that’s not really all that true. And don’t get me started on the whole FWB thing being safer.

It isn’t. Being bisexual isn’t hard; trying to engage with someone in a same-sex way is pretty difficult because we make it difficult and the social bullshit is effectively not helping but, then again, it’s not supposed to be helpful – it’s designed to make and keep you heterosexual. The funny part is… it’s not really all that effective since, um, there are homo- and bisexuals everywhere. I would reason that in every moment of every day, someone is acting on their bisexual feelings or otherwise finding out that all that shit they learned about sex and sexuality… isn’t the whole truth of things.

But because we believe the bullshit over the truth makes this part of being bisexual very damned difficult.