A few months ago, I was out running errands when the van started shaking a bit while idling. I decided I'd keep an eye on it, and went in Barnes and Noble. When I came out, it didn't want to crank, and finally did. It shook the whole way to the Kia dealership. They were able to fit me in, and the kids and I walked down the street to Target to hang out while we waited. It was some connector thingamajig that needed replacing, and all has been fine.
Last night, as we were out and about running a couple errands and getting dinner, it started shaking while idling. Then the check engine light started flashing. Off we went to the Kia dealership again. We actually needed to get it in the shop anyway, because someone slashed our tire a few weeks ago, and the electronic "low tire" indicator needs to be reset. Still, 5:30 on a the day after Christmas was not our ideal time to have to stop in.
They were nice enough to give us a loaner van for the weekend. I'm always the one to do the carseats, so, not taking my abnormal shape into consideration, I did it this time, too. The van they loaned us is another Sedona, but it's the 2005 short model, and we have the 07 long model. This translates into far less space to work with. I don't even know exactly when or how I did it, but I pulled a muscle or a tendon or a ligament, or something. I'm reminded of the time when I ran down the hill behind our old house at around 36-37 weeks and longed for a wheelchair. A few minutes ago, I just walked across the kitchen and suddenly the pain got worse.
And for the curious, no, of course we don't have a name yet. We had Aaric's name in mind, but were definitely not committed to it at all until he was born. Then it was kind of a shrug and a "well, I don't have anything better in mind. Do you? No? Okay, Aaric it is!" Sad, but true. With Xander, Alexander was one of the names we'd tossed around but we were still totally undecided until he was born. And for the next several hours. I recall Michael asking me about what to name him in the wee hours of the morning right after he was born (1 am), and I told him to leave me alone so I could sleep and that names could wait. So, it would be truly miraculous if we named this kid now, at a mere 35 weeks pregnant. Like I told my mom yesterday: To get him covered by insurance, we need to show a birth certificate within 90 days. Now, it does take a couple weeks to do that, so to be safe, we'll say we need the paperwork turned in to the county by 60 days. This means that we still have roughly 3 months to decide! There's no rush.
My family though, has taken it upon themselves to come up with names. Most recently, Jeeves. Jeeves Reeves. I think that my mother and her siblings are either on drugs, or need to be on some.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Let's compare
I think I'm bigger this time.
33.5 weeks with Xander:
35 weeks with this one:
I mean, I know that I'm a week and a half further along than in the first one, but I think this kid is bigger than Xander was.
I know that I was 38 weeks, 5 days in this one (Xander again), because I was in labor:
33.5 weeks with Xander:
35 weeks with this one:
I mean, I know that I'm a week and a half further along than in the first one, but I think this kid is bigger than Xander was.
I know that I was 38 weeks, 5 days in this one (Xander again), because I was in labor:
Friday, December 12, 2008
Surprise!
See, it's just December, and I've uploaded the Halloweeen picture!
Now, I really do hope to get a couple others up soon. Mostly, one displaying my growing abdomen.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thankful
How bad is it that this makes me wonder what his angle is? What does he want from me? Hmm.
In order to create a lovely Rainwater Regatta boat in a Georgia Tech theme (he wouldn't budge. I'm anti sports.),I printed off a logo from the internet and cut it out very carefully. Then I laid it on the wet paint and tapped it down gently, and once it dried, I made sure no air bubbles got stuck around the clear coat that I sprayed on. That was the GT part. Then I took my printout of the yellow jacket and taped it to the back of the sail, so that I could trace the design and color it in properly. And I'm far from crafty, so this was quite a stretch for me.
As I was working on the yellow jacket, Aaric walked up behind me and said, "Mom, thanks for doing all this for me."
So, I was just working on his Popcorn Sales order form. With my first (incorrect) calculations, he was just $22 away from the next prize level, so I decided to throw in a military donation of $25 to push him over the line. Then I did the "final" calculations, and found that I'd accidentally added in $25 where it didn't belong further up on the list. Now, if you take out ALL of the orders from this household, he'd be $85 away from that prize level. Or, just $15 over the next level down. So, yeah, instead of my nice little $32 order, I'm now placing an $87 order. I WILL be eating most of the chocolate and caramel ones! So, as I'm double checking the numbers for the last time, he came into the room and said, "Mom, thanks for helping me out and buying all that popcorn."
So, I ponder, has he suddenly gained a true sense of appreciation when someone does something nice for him, or does he want something?
By the way, Mikayla wants you to know that she has a loose tooth. Oh, and Aaric's boat got 2nd place within the Wolves. He did all the sanding himself, all I did was paint.
In order to create a lovely Rainwater Regatta boat in a Georgia Tech theme (he wouldn't budge. I'm anti sports.),I printed off a logo from the internet and cut it out very carefully. Then I laid it on the wet paint and tapped it down gently, and once it dried, I made sure no air bubbles got stuck around the clear coat that I sprayed on. That was the GT part. Then I took my printout of the yellow jacket and taped it to the back of the sail, so that I could trace the design and color it in properly. And I'm far from crafty, so this was quite a stretch for me.
As I was working on the yellow jacket, Aaric walked up behind me and said, "Mom, thanks for doing all this for me."
So, I was just working on his Popcorn Sales order form. With my first (incorrect) calculations, he was just $22 away from the next prize level, so I decided to throw in a military donation of $25 to push him over the line. Then I did the "final" calculations, and found that I'd accidentally added in $25 where it didn't belong further up on the list. Now, if you take out ALL of the orders from this household, he'd be $85 away from that prize level. Or, just $15 over the next level down. So, yeah, instead of my nice little $32 order, I'm now placing an $87 order. I WILL be eating most of the chocolate and caramel ones! So, as I'm double checking the numbers for the last time, he came into the room and said, "Mom, thanks for helping me out and buying all that popcorn."
So, I ponder, has he suddenly gained a true sense of appreciation when someone does something nice for him, or does he want something?
By the way, Mikayla wants you to know that she has a loose tooth. Oh, and Aaric's boat got 2nd place within the Wolves. He did all the sanding himself, all I did was paint.
Late Nights and Busy Days
My typical Halloween style is to head to Party City October 31 around 2PM to let the kids select a costume. By then, stock is limited, but what's left is usually at least 50% off. I actually consider the limited stock to be a good thing. My kids know they can't get anything scary, and I don't discuss it as much with them but they also can't get anything skanky. Or whatever adjective you use to describe unsavory male characters. For example, Aaric would not be allowed to dress up as a Mac Daddy. Call me old fashioned, but I like for kids to look like kids! Anyway... my rules typically eliminate around half of what's left. Then, I impose further price limitations. This usually gets us down to 2 costumes. If we'd gone in 2 weeks earlier, we'd have a big wall to choose from. Instead, I get to say, "Aaric, you can choose between A and B. Mikayla, pick either C or D. Xander, lookie, you get to be E!" (He's little enough to not care.) It works great.
This year, I saw some cute costume ideas in the Family Fun magazine while waiting at the doctor's office. We decided on the Flower Fairy for Mikayla. Looking at the picture now, I can see that I took it about 10 steps further than their suggestion. (Actually, that's not the same picture that was in the magazine. They showed little girls with green leggins (stems!) and green clogs, and then more flowers on the shirt. But still...) I blame Liz (and this is just the most recent example. She really does look for any opportunity to fling confetti all over the house. I say she's crazy. No one ever tell my children that there are parents out there who get that into holidays.) I think it's Liz's fault that I got possessed to spend a couple hours deconstructing a fake bouquet of flowers, and using hot glue and fabric glue to affix them to the various parts of Mikayla's costume. Which I found out yesterday afternoon, she needed for today. And I couldn't find my hot glue gun, but luckily, Kenna had one and she brought it over last night.
During that time, I was also working on three Rainwater Regatta boats.(good grief, who has time to make a fancy one like that?) And late last night we read on the spray paint bottle that it needs to dry for 10 minutes between coats, and THEN a full 24 hours. Um, we'll be using these boats at 1pm today. I might have sprayed another coat on this morning. And then got fingerprints on it. Oops.
Pictures will be taken, but you know the drill. I'll post them in July, maybe.
This year, I saw some cute costume ideas in the Family Fun magazine while waiting at the doctor's office. We decided on the Flower Fairy for Mikayla. Looking at the picture now, I can see that I took it about 10 steps further than their suggestion. (Actually, that's not the same picture that was in the magazine. They showed little girls with green leggins (stems!) and green clogs, and then more flowers on the shirt. But still...) I blame Liz (and this is just the most recent example. She really does look for any opportunity to fling confetti all over the house. I say she's crazy. No one ever tell my children that there are parents out there who get that into holidays.) I think it's Liz's fault that I got possessed to spend a couple hours deconstructing a fake bouquet of flowers, and using hot glue and fabric glue to affix them to the various parts of Mikayla's costume. Which I found out yesterday afternoon, she needed for today. And I couldn't find my hot glue gun, but luckily, Kenna had one and she brought it over last night.
During that time, I was also working on three Rainwater Regatta boats.(good grief, who has time to make a fancy one like that?) And late last night we read on the spray paint bottle that it needs to dry for 10 minutes between coats, and THEN a full 24 hours. Um, we'll be using these boats at 1pm today. I might have sprayed another coat on this morning. And then got fingerprints on it. Oops.
Pictures will be taken, but you know the drill. I'll post them in July, maybe.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tips of the Week
I have two good tips to pass along today.
The first: If you are pregnant, and have a toddler, and there is cold air and rain in the forecast, camping may not be a great idea. Any one of those things alone can work. I know, because I've done them all. The worst of them is probably the cold/rain, but that could just be my cold-natured self. Perhaps you camp well in the cold rain. Rain keeps me awake and cold is just bad. Toddlers who are bed hogs are not a ton of fun while camping, especially if you accidentally take the twin mattress instead of the queen. With the queen, we could have started on one side and then taken a few hours to wind up on the other side, but it didn't take long for me to wake up on the verge of falling off, in the twin. I think that was a pretty bad run-on sentence, but you see, I'm tired from the pregnant camping in the cold rain with a toddler. Also, walking in the cold rain to the bathroom multiple times a night is unfun. I should have put our tent right in front of the bathroom door. Needless to say, we skipped night 2 of the Cub Scouts Camporee this year. I came home and turned on the heat in my house, which made my smoke alarm very unhappy. But at least I was warm and dry and after I got it to shut up, I curled up in my nice dry bed.
Second tip: I'm here to help with your grocery bill. Food prices are rising, and I've been reading about this organization for months and will finally be ordering in November. That organization is Angel Food Ministries. You can click on the link to read all about it, but I'll tell you the basics. They sell boxes of food for great prices, and you pick up your order, usually from a church. There's a basic box, a senior meal package, and then you can add on meat and produce boxes. For November, there is also a Thanksgiving meal box. People here in Fayetteville - there are 4 churches in the area, one of which offers online ordering(Church of Christ). People back home in GA - there are 4 just in Griffin, but also several locations in Barnesville, Fayetteville, Hampton, McDonough, and other nearby towns. None of the ones in Griffin offer online ordering, but you can call. I didn't go through the long list of other area distribution sites, to see if they have it online.
The first: If you are pregnant, and have a toddler, and there is cold air and rain in the forecast, camping may not be a great idea. Any one of those things alone can work. I know, because I've done them all. The worst of them is probably the cold/rain, but that could just be my cold-natured self. Perhaps you camp well in the cold rain. Rain keeps me awake and cold is just bad. Toddlers who are bed hogs are not a ton of fun while camping, especially if you accidentally take the twin mattress instead of the queen. With the queen, we could have started on one side and then taken a few hours to wind up on the other side, but it didn't take long for me to wake up on the verge of falling off, in the twin. I think that was a pretty bad run-on sentence, but you see, I'm tired from the pregnant camping in the cold rain with a toddler. Also, walking in the cold rain to the bathroom multiple times a night is unfun. I should have put our tent right in front of the bathroom door. Needless to say, we skipped night 2 of the Cub Scouts Camporee this year. I came home and turned on the heat in my house, which made my smoke alarm very unhappy. But at least I was warm and dry and after I got it to shut up, I curled up in my nice dry bed.
Second tip: I'm here to help with your grocery bill. Food prices are rising, and I've been reading about this organization for months and will finally be ordering in November. That organization is Angel Food Ministries. You can click on the link to read all about it, but I'll tell you the basics. They sell boxes of food for great prices, and you pick up your order, usually from a church. There's a basic box, a senior meal package, and then you can add on meat and produce boxes. For November, there is also a Thanksgiving meal box. People here in Fayetteville - there are 4 churches in the area, one of which offers online ordering(Church of Christ). People back home in GA - there are 4 just in Griffin, but also several locations in Barnesville, Fayetteville, Hampton, McDonough, and other nearby towns. None of the ones in Griffin offer online ordering, but you can call. I didn't go through the long list of other area distribution sites, to see if they have it online.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Growing Up
Guess who can walk down the stairs? And I mean, WALK, like, upright on his feet, not either scooting down on his butt or flying down them on his belly. He just started doing it yesterday, and I know that because Aaric told me he did it, but I didn't see. I just saw it today, though. And whenever the big kids ask me to turn the radio up or down in the van, and it displeases him, I hear, "I yont yike it!!" And, he voluntarily went to the potty and pooped in it this morning. And, I'm pretty sure that last night when I told him to stop jumping off of the sofa in the church coffee shop, because he was going to get hurt, he screamed, "I don't care!" Yep, he's growing up.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Dear Anyone Trying to Call Me,
My cell phone is staging a silent protest. I don't know what it wants from me. It refuses to charge. At first I thought it was my charger. So I tried my old charger, though it was defective and didn't always work either. I then decided that the old one was probably just too messed up to work at all. So tonight, I took the kids out in the yard to play and put the phone in the van on the car charger. I know that charger works just fine, so I'm left assuming it's the phone itself that hates me. The battery is currently dead and I have no way of bringing it to life, so, I'll be unreachable until at least sometime tomorrow.
Okay, you can reach me now! You can't reach Michael though, because they accidentally cut his phone off in the process, and now they apparently can't figure out how to turn it back on. Lovely.
Okay, you can reach me now! You can't reach Michael though, because they accidentally cut his phone off in the process, and now they apparently can't figure out how to turn it back on. Lovely.
I think my brother is giving Aaric lessons in evil
I say evil, because that's Mikayla's adjective that she thinks best fits Aaric. Last Sunday, when I was a bad mom and forgot to give her the run down on how her first Sunday going to the big Children's Worship in the fellowship hall work (their Sunday School teacher takes them down to the fellowship hall and leave them there, and she had no clue that it would happen, and that I wouldn't be involved in the process), she sat and cried and then talked with one of our friends, who was leading their service that day. That might have been a bad run-on sentence. Oh well. (<-- fragment. I can't help it, I've been influenced by Mikayla's reading books. I'd type up a story here, if it weren't copyright infringement. They drive me crazy.) Anyway, this friend asked me yesterday if I knew that Aaric is evil. I said "yes, and here's an example." And then I told him the following story:
Wednesday night, I was getting ready to leave for church, and told the kids to stay inside while I finished up. I heard a door, but we're late every single Wednesday night, so I just rushed to finish up. Aaric came running up to me gleefully, and chirped, "Mom! Mikayla is outsi-ide." You know, nice and sing-songy, clearly enjoying the trouble that Mikayla was about to get into. I was dressed, so I went down and looked at the back door. It was locked, but the back gate was open. Interesting. I sure thought it was the back door that I heard open up. No Mikayla, though. So, I went to the front door, went out, and saw her ringing a neighbor's doorbell. I called her home, and asked why she was over there. "Aaric locked me out!" Oh. Well, that makes more sense. I covered the fact that we also have a doorbell, and that if she's locked out, the logical solution would be to ring the doorbell at our house, not skip off to play with friends. Aaric smirked. My brain has blocked out all the other evil things he'd already done that day, but suffice it to say that he was not exactly on my good side to start with.
But yes, he saw her go out, and then locked the door to ensure that she'd have to leave the fenced back yard in order to get back in, thus maximizing her chances of getting caught. I think that's a fairly diabolical plan for an 8 year old to come up with. Which is why I'm sure it's something Larry suggested to him. Or it could have been Uncle Paul. Both of them are well known for their meanness toward their little sisters. Except that Aunt Becky and I never did anything to deserve such treatment, and Mikayla definitely does.
Wednesday night, I was getting ready to leave for church, and told the kids to stay inside while I finished up. I heard a door, but we're late every single Wednesday night, so I just rushed to finish up. Aaric came running up to me gleefully, and chirped, "Mom! Mikayla is outsi-ide." You know, nice and sing-songy, clearly enjoying the trouble that Mikayla was about to get into. I was dressed, so I went down and looked at the back door. It was locked, but the back gate was open. Interesting. I sure thought it was the back door that I heard open up. No Mikayla, though. So, I went to the front door, went out, and saw her ringing a neighbor's doorbell. I called her home, and asked why she was over there. "Aaric locked me out!" Oh. Well, that makes more sense. I covered the fact that we also have a doorbell, and that if she's locked out, the logical solution would be to ring the doorbell at our house, not skip off to play with friends. Aaric smirked. My brain has blocked out all the other evil things he'd already done that day, but suffice it to say that he was not exactly on my good side to start with.
But yes, he saw her go out, and then locked the door to ensure that she'd have to leave the fenced back yard in order to get back in, thus maximizing her chances of getting caught. I think that's a fairly diabolical plan for an 8 year old to come up with. Which is why I'm sure it's something Larry suggested to him. Or it could have been Uncle Paul. Both of them are well known for their meanness toward their little sisters. Except that Aunt Becky and I never did anything to deserve such treatment, and Mikayla definitely does.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
So, Xander did indeed turn two.
I didn't forget, I just procrastinate. You all know that by now.
I've forgotten what we did that day, though. Or, you know, the day that we pretended it was his birthday.
What I do know, is that I made a cake. This cake, to be exact. It was yummy. We put sprinkles on top, and I left out the nuts. Xander insisted on putting the candles in there himself, and blew on them non-stop, before they were even lit. I took pictures, and I'll upload them one day. Maybe by Christmas. I think I only got a couple of them. When you're the only adult in the house with 3 kids, and there is chocolate cake with flames on top of it, getting a picture taken just takes the backseat in the list of priorities. Not burning the house down or having a chocolate covered kitchen both come first.
He also went in for a check up yesterday. I was going to cancel it, since we're in the midst of switching doctors anyway, but then he had a temperature of 104 degrees Thursday night, so I felt like we should go in to get his urine checked just in case. He thankfully did not have another UTI. He is continuing to live up to his title as The Runt of the family. Not only was he born smaller than the other two, but at 2 years old, his height is in the 20th percentile. Aaric and Mikayla both stay within the 75th to 90th percentiles! It's no wonder this kid's size 18 month pants still fit him just fine, he's a shorty! He was 35 inches tall and 28 pounds.
Now, it's time to go get stuff done and turn off the TV. Because Aaric just came upstairs to tell me that it's settled, we HAVE to get the Shark Steam Mop, because it IS the best mop on the market. They would not risk losing that much money by lying to people about it, you know. And they tested it out in a mall and people were amazed.
Also, Xander just informed me that he pooped on the floor. Will a Shark Steam Mop clean that up? Will it do it without me having to get too close to the mess? If so, I might reconsider.
I've forgotten what we did that day, though. Or, you know, the day that we pretended it was his birthday.
What I do know, is that I made a cake. This cake, to be exact. It was yummy. We put sprinkles on top, and I left out the nuts. Xander insisted on putting the candles in there himself, and blew on them non-stop, before they were even lit. I took pictures, and I'll upload them one day. Maybe by Christmas. I think I only got a couple of them. When you're the only adult in the house with 3 kids, and there is chocolate cake with flames on top of it, getting a picture taken just takes the backseat in the list of priorities. Not burning the house down or having a chocolate covered kitchen both come first.
He also went in for a check up yesterday. I was going to cancel it, since we're in the midst of switching doctors anyway, but then he had a temperature of 104 degrees Thursday night, so I felt like we should go in to get his urine checked just in case. He thankfully did not have another UTI. He is continuing to live up to his title as The Runt of the family. Not only was he born smaller than the other two, but at 2 years old, his height is in the 20th percentile. Aaric and Mikayla both stay within the 75th to 90th percentiles! It's no wonder this kid's size 18 month pants still fit him just fine, he's a shorty! He was 35 inches tall and 28 pounds.
Now, it's time to go get stuff done and turn off the TV. Because Aaric just came upstairs to tell me that it's settled, we HAVE to get the Shark Steam Mop, because it IS the best mop on the market. They would not risk losing that much money by lying to people about it, you know. And they tested it out in a mall and people were amazed.
Also, Xander just informed me that he pooped on the floor. Will a Shark Steam Mop clean that up? Will it do it without me having to get too close to the mess? If so, I might reconsider.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Someone Rescue Me
Aaric won't shut up about the totally awesome features of Blu-Ray, and feels that I should be out buying the necessary electronics and discs immediately. It's a matter that I'm apparently not nearly concerned enough about.
Last week, it was the Shark Cordless Steam Mop that we Had To Buy. Both kids insisted that this was an absolutely necessary purchase. And you know, it can be yours in just 4 easy installments of $19.99, and if you aren't fully satisfied, you can return it within 90 days, and keep the carpet deodorizer for free.
Before that, it was ShamWOW! cleaning towels. I couldn't seem to make them understand, that these incredible towels wouldn't just walk themselves out of the cabinet/drawer and into the bathroom and start scrubbing. They do require a human to actually get them out and use them. And I'm perfectly happy with my $1/pack rags, thanks.
Speaking of scrubbing, more than once, they've told me I need to buy some of the various scrubbing bubbles cleaners. They take those commercials way too literally.
Also, frighteningly, both big kids have been observed trying to figure out what my PIN is for my debit card. And they wonder why I don't let them have much internet time! They're suckers for advertisements, and are becoming increasingly aware of how these plastic cards work!
Last week, it was the Shark Cordless Steam Mop that we Had To Buy. Both kids insisted that this was an absolutely necessary purchase. And you know, it can be yours in just 4 easy installments of $19.99, and if you aren't fully satisfied, you can return it within 90 days, and keep the carpet deodorizer for free.
Before that, it was ShamWOW! cleaning towels. I couldn't seem to make them understand, that these incredible towels wouldn't just walk themselves out of the cabinet/drawer and into the bathroom and start scrubbing. They do require a human to actually get them out and use them. And I'm perfectly happy with my $1/pack rags, thanks.
Speaking of scrubbing, more than once, they've told me I need to buy some of the various scrubbing bubbles cleaners. They take those commercials way too literally.
Also, frighteningly, both big kids have been observed trying to figure out what my PIN is for my debit card. And they wonder why I don't let them have much internet time! They're suckers for advertisements, and are becoming increasingly aware of how these plastic cards work!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Politically Incorrect
...some conversation that I can't remember, as usual, but something about a president came up...
Mikayla - Yeah, well, if I were president, every day would be negro day.
Me - Um, see, Mikayla, we don't really refer to them as negroes anymore.
Mikayla - But I will make every day negro day.
Aaric, sighing and rolling his eyes - Mikayla, the times have changed. We don't need a negro day. Mar, um...
Me - Martin Luther King
Aaric - yeah, Martin Luther King has already made lots of speeches and done lots of marches.
Mikayla, interrupting as usual - Aw man! No fair, he got to be president before me!
Speaking of "aw man..."
So, little quick version is that after the skull fracture and my being away from Xander, and then my pregnancy progressing, it all led to a downward spiral that ends with me having very little milk supply left and his latch getting a bit lazy. Now that it actually hurts every time he tries to nurse, I've given up. Philosophically, I'd love to keep going. Physically, I'm done. He still asks a couple times a day, which just breaks my little heart. So, the other night, we're in bed and he says, "mama, I want nursey." And I sigh, and say, "I know honey. But it hurts when you do. You never open up wide anymore, and it's owie, and I don't want to. I don't want to nursey." He let out a big sigh as he flopped back and said, "aw man!"
That kid is a nut.
And, yes, I'm aware of the date. I'm declaring tomorrow his birthday. I'm his mother, I can do that if I want. This year, his birthday is on the 16th. The only thing he knows about the calendar is that it's paper with squares. And since today was rough, I decided to just pretend it's tomorrow.
Mikayla - Yeah, well, if I were president, every day would be negro day.
Me - Um, see, Mikayla, we don't really refer to them as negroes anymore.
Mikayla - But I will make every day negro day.
Aaric, sighing and rolling his eyes - Mikayla, the times have changed. We don't need a negro day. Mar, um...
Me - Martin Luther King
Aaric - yeah, Martin Luther King has already made lots of speeches and done lots of marches.
Mikayla, interrupting as usual - Aw man! No fair, he got to be president before me!
Speaking of "aw man..."
So, little quick version is that after the skull fracture and my being away from Xander, and then my pregnancy progressing, it all led to a downward spiral that ends with me having very little milk supply left and his latch getting a bit lazy. Now that it actually hurts every time he tries to nurse, I've given up. Philosophically, I'd love to keep going. Physically, I'm done. He still asks a couple times a day, which just breaks my little heart. So, the other night, we're in bed and he says, "mama, I want nursey." And I sigh, and say, "I know honey. But it hurts when you do. You never open up wide anymore, and it's owie, and I don't want to. I don't want to nursey." He let out a big sigh as he flopped back and said, "aw man!"
That kid is a nut.
And, yes, I'm aware of the date. I'm declaring tomorrow his birthday. I'm his mother, I can do that if I want. This year, his birthday is on the 16th. The only thing he knows about the calendar is that it's paper with squares. And since today was rough, I decided to just pretend it's tomorrow.
Announcement time!
If I had your phone number, or if I didn't have it, but you often sit around thinking about how cool it would be if I called you (just be prepared for kids yelling in the background and me stopping mid-sentence to tell them to stop before they're grounded for 10 years), please do one of the following"
call me, so that I can just hit "save"
OR send me your number in one of these ways
email me at kellyr2 at gmail dot com
facebook
myspace
whatever message board you know me from
Of course, if you keep thinking, "Man, I wish that crazy person would quit calling me!" then feel free to do none of the above.
Too bad I can't just get the urologist, ENT, OBGYN, dermatologist, and probably 15 other specialists I'm forgetting about, to do the same. I have to look all those suckers back up.
call me, so that I can just hit "save"
OR send me your number in one of these ways
email me at kellyr2 at gmail dot com
myspace
whatever message board you know me from
Of course, if you keep thinking, "Man, I wish that crazy person would quit calling me!" then feel free to do none of the above.
Too bad I can't just get the urologist, ENT, OBGYN, dermatologist, and probably 15 other specialists I'm forgetting about, to do the same. I have to look all those suckers back up.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
So I married a hooker...
(Fair warning for those with weak stomachs: This post contains a picture of a bloody face.)
Michael is a testosterone-filled adrenaline junkie these days. I think he had it all in check until the Army stopped letting him jump out of planes (not him specifically, but they took away the jump status for his unit). Then he started talking about taking up skydiving, and base jumping and all other sorts of illogical things.
See, here's when he got to do a tandem free fall with the Golden Knights:
So, now he's out at Fort Leonard Wood, where there is pretty much nothing to do. Well, nothing but, apparently, play rugby. Here he is at his first practice:
That's a broken nose. I've told him that if he breaks a leg, I'll fly out there to break the other one. He doesn't seem to think I'm capable. I think he severely underestimates the strength of an angry pregnant woman, when her husband injures himself playing a sport, and thus delays his graduation and return home dates!
So, I mean, clearly he's a thrill-seeking, pain-loving individual. But imagine my surprise when he says to me, "Hey, they've made me a hooker!"
For the record, I know nothing about rugby. I know very little about football.
I responded calmly. "So, did you let them know that your wife would have serious issues with that?"
Apparently, "hooker" is a position in rugby. And it seems that some guy on some team (probably New Zealand, he keeps talking about them, and I think they're on serious drugs) is the hooker, and his last name is Hore. I find it amusing.
His first game is next week. It would have been last week, but he decided to go ahead and get his toenailectomy earlier than planned, and couldn't play in last week's game.
I just don't understand choosing to do something that is near guaranteed to get you injured. Not just in a little pain, or very tired and sore, but actually injured. It boggles the brain. But hey, there are worse things a guy could be doing in Middle of Nowhere, Missouri, so whatever. Just as long as he doesn't injure himself any more.
Michael is a testosterone-filled adrenaline junkie these days. I think he had it all in check until the Army stopped letting him jump out of planes (not him specifically, but they took away the jump status for his unit). Then he started talking about taking up skydiving, and base jumping and all other sorts of illogical things.
See, here's when he got to do a tandem free fall with the Golden Knights:
So, now he's out at Fort Leonard Wood, where there is pretty much nothing to do. Well, nothing but, apparently, play rugby. Here he is at his first practice:
That's a broken nose. I've told him that if he breaks a leg, I'll fly out there to break the other one. He doesn't seem to think I'm capable. I think he severely underestimates the strength of an angry pregnant woman, when her husband injures himself playing a sport, and thus delays his graduation and return home dates!
So, I mean, clearly he's a thrill-seeking, pain-loving individual. But imagine my surprise when he says to me, "Hey, they've made me a hooker!"
For the record, I know nothing about rugby. I know very little about football.
I responded calmly. "So, did you let them know that your wife would have serious issues with that?"
Apparently, "hooker" is a position in rugby. And it seems that some guy on some team (probably New Zealand, he keeps talking about them, and I think they're on serious drugs) is the hooker, and his last name is Hore. I find it amusing.
His first game is next week. It would have been last week, but he decided to go ahead and get his toenailectomy earlier than planned, and couldn't play in last week's game.
I just don't understand choosing to do something that is near guaranteed to get you injured. Not just in a little pain, or very tired and sore, but actually injured. It boggles the brain. But hey, there are worse things a guy could be doing in Middle of Nowhere, Missouri, so whatever. Just as long as he doesn't injure himself any more.
Gotta Love GA Education
(disclaimer: I'm sure there are lots of good schools in GA, and in fact, I am a product of GA schools and didn't turn out too terribly bad. But, you know, I won't list the counties that I'd suspect this could have come from...)
PS, don't tell anyone, but Mikayla has a secret identity. She's a superhero. She's just not sure what her superpowers are yet.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Dinner Conversations
...something about God listening to us...
Aaric: Yeah, one time I told him some knock knock jokes, though. But it was boring, because he already knew the answers. He didn't laugh.
Me: I bet he did.
Aaric: Yeah, we just can't hear him.
Mikayla: I can't even hear him when he tells me to stop talking!
Aaric: Yeah, one time I told him some knock knock jokes, though. But it was boring, because he already knew the answers. He didn't laugh.
Me: I bet he did.
Aaric: Yeah, we just can't hear him.
Mikayla: I can't even hear him when he tells me to stop talking!
Friday, September 05, 2008
Testosterone Wins
So, it turns out that Baby on the Way is male. Giving us 2 females and 4 males living in this house.
Baby also likes garlic chicken and mac and cheese. Either that or he hates it, because I just ate it an hour ago and now he's doing flips. I think this is the most active he's been so far. Or at least, the most active that I've been able to feel. Click on the picture of Xander eating a muffin over there on the left, and you can see all the pictures of the new little monkey. The very muscular little monkey. I'm kinda afraid of this kid. I think he might be Popeye. He better not smoke a pipe! I haven't even eaten any spinach.
With my odd trains of thought, I think perhaps Tropical Storm Hanna has caused changes in the pressure, causing my brain to malfunction a bit. Good thing I'll be sleeping when the worst of it hits.
Aaric is happy about getting another boy, but it's not like he's jumping for joy or anything. More like, a big smile and a "ooh, a boy!?" and then on with life as usual. It's nice when the kid is old enough to understand that the baby won't be here for a while still.
Mikayla is not too thrilled, but she'd already pretty much given up hope even before she found out anyway. I played up the coolness of being the only girl. She'll be the first to get her own room, she doesn't have to share her clothes or other girly stuff with anyone, it'll be great! She's not convinced yet.
Xander still shakes his head and says "no" when I ask if he wants another baby in the house, so the gender of said baby is just not something he cares about. At least he hasn't said, "I yon't yike it" about the baby yet. I'm sure that will come. He did say it about yogurt yesterday. YOGURT. He lives for yogurt! Turns out he was constipated, he didn't like anything. Not standing still, not walking, not sitting, not being carried... and we were in Target trying to kill time while the van was getting a repair done. That was fun. Walking with a toddler who is afraid to take a step because his belly is cramping, but screams bloody murder if you try to put him in the stroller, and then he stops every once in a while to hold onto something sturdy and strain. Poor kid.
OH! And my camera has grown legs and walked away. I had every intention of taking pictures of his head, 3 months post hair cut. You can see waves again. And fluff. And he likes to shake his head, to feel it hit his face.
I would probably sit here typing more randomness, but Xander is ready for bed, which makes sense, as it's 9:40. So, I'm off to get the munchkins into bed.
Baby also likes garlic chicken and mac and cheese. Either that or he hates it, because I just ate it an hour ago and now he's doing flips. I think this is the most active he's been so far. Or at least, the most active that I've been able to feel. Click on the picture of Xander eating a muffin over there on the left, and you can see all the pictures of the new little monkey. The very muscular little monkey. I'm kinda afraid of this kid. I think he might be Popeye. He better not smoke a pipe! I haven't even eaten any spinach.
With my odd trains of thought, I think perhaps Tropical Storm Hanna has caused changes in the pressure, causing my brain to malfunction a bit. Good thing I'll be sleeping when the worst of it hits.
Aaric is happy about getting another boy, but it's not like he's jumping for joy or anything. More like, a big smile and a "ooh, a boy!?" and then on with life as usual. It's nice when the kid is old enough to understand that the baby won't be here for a while still.
Mikayla is not too thrilled, but she'd already pretty much given up hope even before she found out anyway. I played up the coolness of being the only girl. She'll be the first to get her own room, she doesn't have to share her clothes or other girly stuff with anyone, it'll be great! She's not convinced yet.
Xander still shakes his head and says "no" when I ask if he wants another baby in the house, so the gender of said baby is just not something he cares about. At least he hasn't said, "I yon't yike it" about the baby yet. I'm sure that will come. He did say it about yogurt yesterday. YOGURT. He lives for yogurt! Turns out he was constipated, he didn't like anything. Not standing still, not walking, not sitting, not being carried... and we were in Target trying to kill time while the van was getting a repair done. That was fun. Walking with a toddler who is afraid to take a step because his belly is cramping, but screams bloody murder if you try to put him in the stroller, and then he stops every once in a while to hold onto something sturdy and strain. Poor kid.
OH! And my camera has grown legs and walked away. I had every intention of taking pictures of his head, 3 months post hair cut. You can see waves again. And fluff. And he likes to shake his head, to feel it hit his face.
I would probably sit here typing more randomness, but Xander is ready for bed, which makes sense, as it's 9:40. So, I'm off to get the munchkins into bed.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Boy do I feel loved
I mean, it's bad enough that he's picky. He doesn't like this shirt, or that one, or those shorts, and good grief don't talk to him about any of those shoes in that shoe store! But I just overheard this conversation, featuring his new favorite phrase:
Aaric - Do you want to go to Mama?
Xander - No. I yon't yike it.
In addition, brilliant observations from Aaric - Mom, I just realized that Mikayla is a con artist.
Dude, seriously, you just now realized that?
Aaric - Do you want to go to Mama?
Xander - No. I yon't yike it.
In addition, brilliant observations from Aaric - Mom, I just realized that Mikayla is a con artist.
Dude, seriously, you just now realized that?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
It's Whiskey Time!
Mikayla is a deeply disturbed individual.
First, instead of pets, she's been trying to stock up on Fur Real Friends. She has two so far, and keeps going on the website and asking me if I can help her push the right buttons to buy more. Speaking of which, I should buy a safe to put my wallet into whenever I'm not using it, because as soon as that girl learns how a debit card works, our finances would be ruined. Her Fur Real Puppy has a broken right eye, and that might be a slight indication of how she'd be with real pets. When we had a guinea pig, she'd put it into her doll stroller and roll it around the house, and rock it in her rocking chair. It was never nearly as impressed as she was. Kind of like how thrilled she is to carry Xander around the house, with him squealing (a lot like the guinea pig, actually) the whole way. She just doesn't take "leave me alone" hints very well.
So, today, she announces that she's going to prove to me that she's ready to be responsible for a pet. She would like a mouse, please, since I've said no to dogs and cats. She forgets that I've also banned rodents. And reptiles and birds. For her demonstration, she chose a fly. She's been catching flies and calling them her pets for days, so I just assume that she's already pretty germ-ridden anyway, and just rolled my eyes. Besides, the fly she had appeared to be at least a bit stunned, if not already in poor health. He wasn't too lively.
She made him a nice home inside of her tiny Dora's little treasure chest. When Xander splashed him, she got out a wash cloth and patted him dry. At some point, I saw that he'd expired, and never saw him again. A couple hours later, Aaric opens up the treasure chest and tells her that the fly has disintegrated. She whines that Aaric killed it, I assure her that he most certainly did not, and that besides, it was nearly dead when she caught it!
She claims that he was just fine, and that he was EVEN still fine after she pulled off it's leg. Did you catch that? While proving her worth as a pet owner, she yanked off the leg of her new pet. Is that not disturbing?
So, then, a few minutes later, I'm mixing up an egg wash to dip my tofu in, so that I can deep fry it (I love to junkify my health foods), and I hand the whisk to Aaric. Which is when she screams, "It's whiskey time!!"
I'm raising a barbaric alcoholic. A germy one.
But I must mention how happy she is that Xander wants to sleep in her bed tonight. Actually, he does that a lot. I send the big kids to bed, he runs in there and climbs up into her bed, and when I walk in, he covers up and says, "Ni night!" I've left him in there for right now, and she's thrilled, and wants to know when I'm going to diaper him. If I actually thought that either of them would go to sleep any time soon, I'd just leave him in there for the night. Or that he'd actually stay there, sleeping, the whole night.
First, instead of pets, she's been trying to stock up on Fur Real Friends. She has two so far, and keeps going on the website and asking me if I can help her push the right buttons to buy more. Speaking of which, I should buy a safe to put my wallet into whenever I'm not using it, because as soon as that girl learns how a debit card works, our finances would be ruined. Her Fur Real Puppy has a broken right eye, and that might be a slight indication of how she'd be with real pets. When we had a guinea pig, she'd put it into her doll stroller and roll it around the house, and rock it in her rocking chair. It was never nearly as impressed as she was. Kind of like how thrilled she is to carry Xander around the house, with him squealing (a lot like the guinea pig, actually) the whole way. She just doesn't take "leave me alone" hints very well.
So, today, she announces that she's going to prove to me that she's ready to be responsible for a pet. She would like a mouse, please, since I've said no to dogs and cats. She forgets that I've also banned rodents. And reptiles and birds. For her demonstration, she chose a fly. She's been catching flies and calling them her pets for days, so I just assume that she's already pretty germ-ridden anyway, and just rolled my eyes. Besides, the fly she had appeared to be at least a bit stunned, if not already in poor health. He wasn't too lively.
She made him a nice home inside of her tiny Dora's little treasure chest. When Xander splashed him, she got out a wash cloth and patted him dry. At some point, I saw that he'd expired, and never saw him again. A couple hours later, Aaric opens up the treasure chest and tells her that the fly has disintegrated. She whines that Aaric killed it, I assure her that he most certainly did not, and that besides, it was nearly dead when she caught it!
She claims that he was just fine, and that he was EVEN still fine after she pulled off it's leg. Did you catch that? While proving her worth as a pet owner, she yanked off the leg of her new pet. Is that not disturbing?
So, then, a few minutes later, I'm mixing up an egg wash to dip my tofu in, so that I can deep fry it (I love to junkify my health foods), and I hand the whisk to Aaric. Which is when she screams, "It's whiskey time!!"
I'm raising a barbaric alcoholic. A germy one.
But I must mention how happy she is that Xander wants to sleep in her bed tonight. Actually, he does that a lot. I send the big kids to bed, he runs in there and climbs up into her bed, and when I walk in, he covers up and says, "Ni night!" I've left him in there for right now, and she's thrilled, and wants to know when I'm going to diaper him. If I actually thought that either of them would go to sleep any time soon, I'd just leave him in there for the night. Or that he'd actually stay there, sleeping, the whole night.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Oops
You know what's worse than knowing that a preventable accident could (and without a miracle, will) affect the entire rest of your child's life? Not being smart enough to keep that information to yourself.
Yeah, he asked me today about requirements to join the army, and then concluded that he should be good to go, should he decide that's what he wants to do. Genius that I am, I responded that his hearing loss might be a problem, which disappointed him. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
And yes, I looked it up, and without minor improvement in the lower frequencies and some drastic improvement in the higher frequencies, he'll be disqualified from military service. And any other job that requires good hearing. Even though is hearing is good enough that he doesn't even notice a difference. I also asked that tonight - "Does it seem like it's harder to hear, ever, that it was before this happened?" He says no. So as far as he was concerned, life goes on and he can move forward and forget about this whole ordeal, and I, the brilliant mother, shatter his dreams.
Please, please, please, get better, you stubborn little right ear!
Yeah, he asked me today about requirements to join the army, and then concluded that he should be good to go, should he decide that's what he wants to do. Genius that I am, I responded that his hearing loss might be a problem, which disappointed him. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
And yes, I looked it up, and without minor improvement in the lower frequencies and some drastic improvement in the higher frequencies, he'll be disqualified from military service. And any other job that requires good hearing. Even though is hearing is good enough that he doesn't even notice a difference. I also asked that tonight - "Does it seem like it's harder to hear, ever, that it was before this happened?" He says no. So as far as he was concerned, life goes on and he can move forward and forget about this whole ordeal, and I, the brilliant mother, shatter his dreams.
Please, please, please, get better, you stubborn little right ear!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Summary of all the pics
Okay, so the zoo pics are now online. Many are just random shots of various animals, but this one is my favorite.
It's my favorite because that gorilla saw Xander and just kept watching him. Without the thick layer of glass there, I think it might have kidnapped him, but you know, creepy kidnapper gorilla motives aside, I thought it was cute. I'm sure the gorilla was thinking, "hey, that kid has awesome hair!"
sniff sniff By the way, I had every intention of doing a "one month post hair cut" picture, but it seems that I was living in a hospital room on the one month mark. Darn skull fracture, screwing up my blogging plans!
They'll let ANYONE fly a helicopter these days!
The kids and I went to Pensacola with Mom, Aunt Becky, and Larry's kids, and all of the pics I got were at the History of Naval Aviation Museum. Oh, and two of the big slides, which Promise, Aaric, and Mikayla all were able to go on, after passing a swimming test. Promise passing was no surprise, that girl swims like a fish. I was sure Aaric could do it, but figured he might struggle a little, but until Mikayla went, he'd said he didn't want to try, as he didn't feel that the orange arm band was manly enough for him. Mikayla was the real shocker though. I almost stopped her, not wanting to go through the drama of her trying and failing. She struggled across that pool, doggy paddling the whole way, but she's determined, and she made it, without ever touching the bottom.
After Pensacola, we returned to GA for a week at Grandma Camp (hanging out at Mom and Dad's with all the munchkins and Aunt Becky), and then went to Myrtle Beach with Merrilea and Charity and the boys.
Then we spent a week being very lazy around the house, doing very very little. But alas, we wanted to go be homebirth advocates, so off we went to Raleigh, and after terrorizing the legislators of the state (okay, so there was no terrorizing, but I was just certain we'd wind up with either a kid falling in the fountain and getting wet, or visiting the ER. But, you know, due to the joys of wild kids at the legislative building or museum...
Here, Mikayla directs your attention to the now extinct giant sloth. Those things were huge. They lived in the Southeastern US, I think. It's hard to remember.
And wouldn't it be great if I could remember what kind of dinosaur is munching on Aaric's head? Ah, the foreshadowing...
There would be pictures of Xander, but he wasn't terribly thrilled with the place, other than the snakes, which were alive and big and creepy. The Diamondback Rattlesnake was as big around as my thigh. Which, sure, isn't a huge thigh, but rattlesnakes should NOT be that big around! He wasn't terribly long!
It was after we got home that he decided to get a closer look at that TV. As our day was winding down, and I figured we'd survived yet another day without seeing the ER. That's all I wanted - an ER free summer. Is that really so much to ask?
And then, we have a few days with no pictures. Partly because my camera was at home, and partly because as much as I may enjoy writing about our life online and showing pictures to the world, I draw the line at taking pictures while my kids have blood pouring from their ears, in ambulances, and while vomiting. And then, if I'd had my camera, I might have taken a pic or two once his tummy was settled and his ears had stopped leaking, because he did look quite normal for a couple days there. But I didn't have it, so I don't have those pictures. And, I do actually have pictures of him after coming home, but I was only able to get them by promising him that I would NOT share them with anyone, that they'd only be for us to compare from week to week. I wish I could show them though, because it's exciting to see how he looks today, compared to 3 weeks ago.
What I do have, though, are berry picking pictures. And yes, there are a couple of Aaric in there. But for one thing, I didn't make any promises about those. And also, they don't show any obvious problems, really.
Xander liked to pick a few, eat one, and dump the bucket.
Aaric thought it would be the most boring day of his life, but he enjoyed it a lot. And then decided that he doesn't like fresh blueberries, he only likes them cooked. That's the ONLY thing that kid inherited from me!
And this is one of the scrumptious muffins that we made the next morning, served alongside some vanilla yogurt. (google "blueberry muffins" and it's the first recipe that comes up. This was my first attempt at blueberry muffins that didn't involve opening a Betty Crocker box.)
And that's as recent as it gets, other than the pictures of Aaric that I'm never allowed to share. So, just trust me, he looks nearly normal, other than the puffy face. Oh, and I weighed him today, and he did indeed gain 3 pounds. But my cousin Hannah works in a hospital with sick kids, and says a 6 yr old there gained 17 pounds in 3 weeks on Prednisone, so I figure 3 pounds is nothing!
It's my favorite because that gorilla saw Xander and just kept watching him. Without the thick layer of glass there, I think it might have kidnapped him, but you know, creepy kidnapper gorilla motives aside, I thought it was cute. I'm sure the gorilla was thinking, "hey, that kid has awesome hair!"
sniff sniff By the way, I had every intention of doing a "one month post hair cut" picture, but it seems that I was living in a hospital room on the one month mark. Darn skull fracture, screwing up my blogging plans!
They'll let ANYONE fly a helicopter these days!
The kids and I went to Pensacola with Mom, Aunt Becky, and Larry's kids, and all of the pics I got were at the History of Naval Aviation Museum. Oh, and two of the big slides, which Promise, Aaric, and Mikayla all were able to go on, after passing a swimming test. Promise passing was no surprise, that girl swims like a fish. I was sure Aaric could do it, but figured he might struggle a little, but until Mikayla went, he'd said he didn't want to try, as he didn't feel that the orange arm band was manly enough for him. Mikayla was the real shocker though. I almost stopped her, not wanting to go through the drama of her trying and failing. She struggled across that pool, doggy paddling the whole way, but she's determined, and she made it, without ever touching the bottom.
After Pensacola, we returned to GA for a week at Grandma Camp (hanging out at Mom and Dad's with all the munchkins and Aunt Becky), and then went to Myrtle Beach with Merrilea and Charity and the boys.
Then we spent a week being very lazy around the house, doing very very little. But alas, we wanted to go be homebirth advocates, so off we went to Raleigh, and after terrorizing the legislators of the state (okay, so there was no terrorizing, but I was just certain we'd wind up with either a kid falling in the fountain and getting wet, or visiting the ER. But, you know, due to the joys of wild kids at the legislative building or museum...
Here, Mikayla directs your attention to the now extinct giant sloth. Those things were huge. They lived in the Southeastern US, I think. It's hard to remember.
And wouldn't it be great if I could remember what kind of dinosaur is munching on Aaric's head? Ah, the foreshadowing...
There would be pictures of Xander, but he wasn't terribly thrilled with the place, other than the snakes, which were alive and big and creepy. The Diamondback Rattlesnake was as big around as my thigh. Which, sure, isn't a huge thigh, but rattlesnakes should NOT be that big around! He wasn't terribly long!
It was after we got home that he decided to get a closer look at that TV. As our day was winding down, and I figured we'd survived yet another day without seeing the ER. That's all I wanted - an ER free summer. Is that really so much to ask?
And then, we have a few days with no pictures. Partly because my camera was at home, and partly because as much as I may enjoy writing about our life online and showing pictures to the world, I draw the line at taking pictures while my kids have blood pouring from their ears, in ambulances, and while vomiting. And then, if I'd had my camera, I might have taken a pic or two once his tummy was settled and his ears had stopped leaking, because he did look quite normal for a couple days there. But I didn't have it, so I don't have those pictures. And, I do actually have pictures of him after coming home, but I was only able to get them by promising him that I would NOT share them with anyone, that they'd only be for us to compare from week to week. I wish I could show them though, because it's exciting to see how he looks today, compared to 3 weeks ago.
What I do have, though, are berry picking pictures. And yes, there are a couple of Aaric in there. But for one thing, I didn't make any promises about those. And also, they don't show any obvious problems, really.
Xander liked to pick a few, eat one, and dump the bucket.
Aaric thought it would be the most boring day of his life, but he enjoyed it a lot. And then decided that he doesn't like fresh blueberries, he only likes them cooked. That's the ONLY thing that kid inherited from me!
And this is one of the scrumptious muffins that we made the next morning, served alongside some vanilla yogurt. (google "blueberry muffins" and it's the first recipe that comes up. This was my first attempt at blueberry muffins that didn't involve opening a Betty Crocker box.)
And that's as recent as it gets, other than the pictures of Aaric that I'm never allowed to share. So, just trust me, he looks nearly normal, other than the puffy face. Oh, and I weighed him today, and he did indeed gain 3 pounds. But my cousin Hannah works in a hospital with sick kids, and says a 6 yr old there gained 17 pounds in 3 weeks on Prednisone, so I figure 3 pounds is nothing!
A Story in Pictures
Draw your own conclusions about how it ended. I'll just say that my living room has now been rearranged, partly due to this.
Also, new pictures added to Flickr. Click on the lovely pic of Mikayla over there on the left.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Moving toward "normal"
You know... if such a thing exists.
At his appointment last Wednesday (sorry for the delay!) the left ear was officially declared "normal", though one frequency was 5 decibels off. But that one tiny little bit of loss that is left isn't enough to consider it a "loss" anymore. Normal! And they fully expect it to pull on up all the way, anyway.
Righty was better, but still not great. The range this time was 30-75 decibels, and the doctor does not expect to see much if any improvement when we return. In three weeks! Or, well, 2 more weeks now.
My favorite part - he is now weaned off of the prednisone! The side effects were getting worse and worse. Not just the sleep, but he was also eating like a teenager, his face was puffy, and his legs were hurting. It was time to come off of it for a while, probably for good. His last dose was Monday morning. So far, the side effects are still around.
My other favorite news - the nerve damage is nearly gone!! I've been able to see obvious changes every day. He hasn't been able to whistle, and today, I heard him whistle. He can almost pucker his lips all the way, and when he smiles, you can see the corner of the left side turning upward, and his cheek pushing out.
So, he's unmedicated; while there is hearing loss, he functions normally in spite of it; and he looks normal. In a few more weeks, he'll be able to ride his bike and swim without ear plugs and do any other normal activities that he wants to do!
Mikayla continues to be the drama queen. She got better for a few days, and then the birthday mail and presents started coming in, and it was all over. No matter how much attention you give her, it doesn't help. More attention doesn't cure the craving, and less attention makes her angry too. She's just a mad little girl. Of course, for big chunks of time, she's a perfectly happy little girl, too. It's just scattered amongst the "everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms" moments, which tend to stick out.
Xander, well, I give up trying to keep track of his vocabulary. His favorite new word, though, is "come" because with it, he can make you go where he wants. He's got a cold right now, which I'm hoping will go away soon, because it's screwing with his sleep habits. He's waking up at night, waking up before 7 am, refusing to nap even though he so badly needs it... Go away snotty nose!
For the past 24 hours, I've had a vague headache, which I know is the result of not enough quality sleep. I'm beginning to think that my mattress is the wrong firm/softness. I don't know what I need, but I know I don't like waking up sore every morning. Waking up both sore and with a headache is even worse.
Michael starts his final required school tomorrow. (he wants to add in Ranger or Sapper school at the end of it all, but we'll see) He's in Missouri, all settled in at the Army lodging where he'll be until November, where he has maid service and continental breakfast, and cable, and internet. He's glad for school to start, because from the sounds of it, Fort Leonard Wood is only about 5 times more boring that the tales we've heard.
Also, we're in week 3 of school now, and it's going great, but I'll write more about that later. The headache is coming back for now, and it's bedtime.
Oh, see, now Mikayla is being nice. She just came up to tell me, "Mom, this is so sweet, listen. I had to go pee, and Xander went in with me, and he went pee too! And then, [pauses and gets big eyes] he poured it into the big potty! He went pee with me!" She was so excited. About pee. Dude, that kid will never be "normal." She's cute, and often sweet, and funny... but she's a strange bird for sure.
At his appointment last Wednesday (sorry for the delay!) the left ear was officially declared "normal", though one frequency was 5 decibels off. But that one tiny little bit of loss that is left isn't enough to consider it a "loss" anymore. Normal! And they fully expect it to pull on up all the way, anyway.
Righty was better, but still not great. The range this time was 30-75 decibels, and the doctor does not expect to see much if any improvement when we return. In three weeks! Or, well, 2 more weeks now.
My favorite part - he is now weaned off of the prednisone! The side effects were getting worse and worse. Not just the sleep, but he was also eating like a teenager, his face was puffy, and his legs were hurting. It was time to come off of it for a while, probably for good. His last dose was Monday morning. So far, the side effects are still around.
My other favorite news - the nerve damage is nearly gone!! I've been able to see obvious changes every day. He hasn't been able to whistle, and today, I heard him whistle. He can almost pucker his lips all the way, and when he smiles, you can see the corner of the left side turning upward, and his cheek pushing out.
So, he's unmedicated; while there is hearing loss, he functions normally in spite of it; and he looks normal. In a few more weeks, he'll be able to ride his bike and swim without ear plugs and do any other normal activities that he wants to do!
Mikayla continues to be the drama queen. She got better for a few days, and then the birthday mail and presents started coming in, and it was all over. No matter how much attention you give her, it doesn't help. More attention doesn't cure the craving, and less attention makes her angry too. She's just a mad little girl. Of course, for big chunks of time, she's a perfectly happy little girl, too. It's just scattered amongst the "everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms" moments, which tend to stick out.
Xander, well, I give up trying to keep track of his vocabulary. His favorite new word, though, is "come" because with it, he can make you go where he wants. He's got a cold right now, which I'm hoping will go away soon, because it's screwing with his sleep habits. He's waking up at night, waking up before 7 am, refusing to nap even though he so badly needs it... Go away snotty nose!
For the past 24 hours, I've had a vague headache, which I know is the result of not enough quality sleep. I'm beginning to think that my mattress is the wrong firm/softness. I don't know what I need, but I know I don't like waking up sore every morning. Waking up both sore and with a headache is even worse.
Michael starts his final required school tomorrow. (he wants to add in Ranger or Sapper school at the end of it all, but we'll see) He's in Missouri, all settled in at the Army lodging where he'll be until November, where he has maid service and continental breakfast, and cable, and internet. He's glad for school to start, because from the sounds of it, Fort Leonard Wood is only about 5 times more boring that the tales we've heard.
Also, we're in week 3 of school now, and it's going great, but I'll write more about that later. The headache is coming back for now, and it's bedtime.
Oh, see, now Mikayla is being nice. She just came up to tell me, "Mom, this is so sweet, listen. I had to go pee, and Xander went in with me, and he went pee too! And then, [pauses and gets big eyes] he poured it into the big potty! He went pee with me!" She was so excited. About pee. Dude, that kid will never be "normal." She's cute, and often sweet, and funny... but she's a strange bird for sure.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
We have a blinking left eye!
So, I'm laying in bed, trying to talk Xander into going to sleep (he kept replying, "aww, man!") when I see Aaric, eyes partially shut, walking into the office. Figuring he was trying to sneak onto the computer, I told him to turn around and head to bed, that he was certainly not sleep walking. Yeah, they try that one on a regular basis. It didn't register to me then that both eyes were nearly shut. I mean, he has been able to shut both, and at the same time, but he hasn't had enough control over lefty to just partially shut it on purpose. So, he says, "No, I know I'm not. Look!" He'd thought I was in the office and was coming to show me this new trick. Realizing what was up, I told him to look at me. Both eyes open, I told him to blink. Both eyes shut! At the same time! Lefty had been shutting, but with effort and a couple second delay. There might be a very slight delay now, but it's close enough.
I knew he was improving, because he wasn't able to raise the left eyebrow at all, and as of yesterday, it was going up slightly.
So, I may hate the side effects of that Prednisone, but it's working, and that's what matters. So, a little more improvement in the eye, and then hopefully the mouth will catch up! YAY!!
ENT visit #3 is tomorrow, complete with another hearing test. I haven't noticed any changes (in hearing), but then, at this point, the changes are going to be a lot less noticeable, the closer he gets to "normal."
Also, Xander can count. Sorta. "2, 8, 2, 8, 2, 8..." But he DOES recognize that when I say, "1, 2, 3" it means, "time's up, kid!"
Mikayla seems to have gotten over her jealousy issues, and has quit pitching a fit about how unfair life is. For today at least.
I knew he was improving, because he wasn't able to raise the left eyebrow at all, and as of yesterday, it was going up slightly.
So, I may hate the side effects of that Prednisone, but it's working, and that's what matters. So, a little more improvement in the eye, and then hopefully the mouth will catch up! YAY!!
ENT visit #3 is tomorrow, complete with another hearing test. I haven't noticed any changes (in hearing), but then, at this point, the changes are going to be a lot less noticeable, the closer he gets to "normal."
Also, Xander can count. Sorta. "2, 8, 2, 8, 2, 8..." But he DOES recognize that when I say, "1, 2, 3" it means, "time's up, kid!"
Mikayla seems to have gotten over her jealousy issues, and has quit pitching a fit about how unfair life is. For today at least.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I hate Prednisone.
It's 11:30. Both big kids are still wide awake. Aaric, because the stupid drug is interfering with his sleep. Mikayla, because if he's not resting, she's not going to either. I can't get her to go to bed and stay there if he's still up and going about his "day." So they're up, watching Disney Channel. Last I heard, singing along with Hannah Montana.
Xander of course is up later when they're up late, but will still conk out by 9:30 or 10... but then he's up at 7:30 am regardless. At which time I turn on cartoons for him and try to doze for a couple more hours.
So then we're up at 9-9:30, then eat breakfast, and can't start on school stuff until around 10. All of this means we don't want lunch until around 2, and dinner around 7 or 8, depending on how much cookie dough they sneaked from the fridge during the afternoon. And then again, not tired again until nearly midnight.
I might go insane. I'm 28, the college schedule is supposed to be over with by now. This is how I lived when Aaric was a baby, not how I want to live when he's 8, she's 6, and the other he is nearly 2, and I'm pregnant again, and my husband is halfway across the country! I want sleep. At normal hours.
Xander of course is up later when they're up late, but will still conk out by 9:30 or 10... but then he's up at 7:30 am regardless. At which time I turn on cartoons for him and try to doze for a couple more hours.
So then we're up at 9-9:30, then eat breakfast, and can't start on school stuff until around 10. All of this means we don't want lunch until around 2, and dinner around 7 or 8, depending on how much cookie dough they sneaked from the fridge during the afternoon. And then again, not tired again until nearly midnight.
I might go insane. I'm 28, the college schedule is supposed to be over with by now. This is how I lived when Aaric was a baby, not how I want to live when he's 8, she's 6, and the other he is nearly 2, and I'm pregnant again, and my husband is halfway across the country! I want sleep. At normal hours.
New Vocabulary
Xander's added some new phrases lately. Today, I've heard him say "yes ma'am" (though his pronunciation is botched, and I can't even remember what he said, but he said it repeatedly and nodded when I asked if that's what he was saying, and it fit contextually... though that doesn't mean that he actually followed through by obeying for more than 2 seconds), "I want a monkey" (which sounds like, "onna monkey!"), and "I poot." Which means he pooped. And doesn't necessarily mean that he did. Just that he's saying that he did.
He also actually talked to Michael on the phone for the first time. Usually he asks to talk to Daddy, then just listens as Michael talks to him. Today, he very quietly spoke a few words. It's weird, because he'll talk on the phone if no one is on the other end.
Oh, he also said, "give me gum." He's a demanding little monkey. And yesterday, he ran into church, right for the Preschool minister's office yelling, "Ont cangy! Ont cangy!" which is, "I want candy!" because, she has Dumdums.
He also actually talked to Michael on the phone for the first time. Usually he asks to talk to Daddy, then just listens as Michael talks to him. Today, he very quietly spoke a few words. It's weird, because he'll talk on the phone if no one is on the other end.
Oh, he also said, "give me gum." He's a demanding little monkey. And yesterday, he ran into church, right for the Preschool minister's office yelling, "Ont cangy! Ont cangy!" which is, "I want candy!" because, she has Dumdums.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Mikayla, the Proud Mama
Mikayla was always excited to have a younger sibling. She's always been the "little mama" type, and couldn't wait to help out with a new baby. Before Xander was born, she was even excited to help with diapers.
As it turned out, she didn't make the greatest mama. I've even tried to nurture it along. She's plenty willing to help, she just doesn't have the touch. Once he was past the tiny infant stage, I'd pass him off to her, so she could cuddle with him while I got something urgent done, if he was fussy. She'd try to cuddle, but he just wasn't having any of it, and would scream at the top of his lungs. Now, he did do that with Aaric as well, but I guess he wasn't close by as often.
When my mom was in town to help out while Aaric was in the hospital, she noticed that while Mikayla wants to help him, she's pretty rough with him. She'll drag him by the arm, she takes stuff away from him, and she tries to help him with stuff he doesn't necessarily want help with. Or, she'll try to hug and cuddle him as he's screaming and pushing her away. She tries, poor thing! Aaric, on the other hand, drops down on his level and talks to him in a mommy voice. (You know, studies show that around the world, all mothers talk in a higher, more sing-song pitch to their infants) He's gentle, and usually knows when to stop and leave the kid alone, and as a result, Xander often goes to him for help. But he also knows that Mikayla is more likely to get him things he's not allowed to have. He knows his resources.
Tonight, she finally got her chance, and they were both so thrilled. We'd all been outside playing. She came in and went straight for the tub. A minute later, he followed. He can sniff out a tub of water a mile away, and will run for it, yelling, "bah! bah!" After a little while, they both come out of my bedroom, looking for towels. She gathers one up for each of them, and they get wrapped up. She tells me that she helped him get undressed, and after he got in, she washed his hair for me. Then they headed downstairs. As I was going down the stairs, she met me at the top.
"Mama, I even got his diaper on him! He let me do it! LOOK!!" I don't know if I've ever seen her so proud. I look down the stairs, and he's just getting to the bottom step, patting his diaper excitedly, smiling, and yelling, "MAMA! MAMA!" Followed by gibberish which I can only assume was meant to be, "hey, look, Kay-uh put a diaper on me!" He was also quite proud of this accomplishment.
She got to be the mama, and he got to be helped by his big sister, and they were both thrilled.
Now, maybe next time I need to pull something out of the 450 degree oven, while stirring the pot on top of the stove and carrying the boiling pasta over to the sink to drain, he'll let her read him a book instead of screaming behind the gate. Oh, yeah, except he's learned to climb the gate already. That lasted a whole 2 weeks.
As it turned out, she didn't make the greatest mama. I've even tried to nurture it along. She's plenty willing to help, she just doesn't have the touch. Once he was past the tiny infant stage, I'd pass him off to her, so she could cuddle with him while I got something urgent done, if he was fussy. She'd try to cuddle, but he just wasn't having any of it, and would scream at the top of his lungs. Now, he did do that with Aaric as well, but I guess he wasn't close by as often.
When my mom was in town to help out while Aaric was in the hospital, she noticed that while Mikayla wants to help him, she's pretty rough with him. She'll drag him by the arm, she takes stuff away from him, and she tries to help him with stuff he doesn't necessarily want help with. Or, she'll try to hug and cuddle him as he's screaming and pushing her away. She tries, poor thing! Aaric, on the other hand, drops down on his level and talks to him in a mommy voice. (You know, studies show that around the world, all mothers talk in a higher, more sing-song pitch to their infants) He's gentle, and usually knows when to stop and leave the kid alone, and as a result, Xander often goes to him for help. But he also knows that Mikayla is more likely to get him things he's not allowed to have. He knows his resources.
Tonight, she finally got her chance, and they were both so thrilled. We'd all been outside playing. She came in and went straight for the tub. A minute later, he followed. He can sniff out a tub of water a mile away, and will run for it, yelling, "bah! bah!" After a little while, they both come out of my bedroom, looking for towels. She gathers one up for each of them, and they get wrapped up. She tells me that she helped him get undressed, and after he got in, she washed his hair for me. Then they headed downstairs. As I was going down the stairs, she met me at the top.
"Mama, I even got his diaper on him! He let me do it! LOOK!!" I don't know if I've ever seen her so proud. I look down the stairs, and he's just getting to the bottom step, patting his diaper excitedly, smiling, and yelling, "MAMA! MAMA!" Followed by gibberish which I can only assume was meant to be, "hey, look, Kay-uh put a diaper on me!" He was also quite proud of this accomplishment.
She got to be the mama, and he got to be helped by his big sister, and they were both thrilled.
Now, maybe next time I need to pull something out of the 450 degree oven, while stirring the pot on top of the stove and carrying the boiling pasta over to the sink to drain, he'll let her read him a book instead of screaming behind the gate. Oh, yeah, except he's learned to climb the gate already. That lasted a whole 2 weeks.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Lefty Makes a Comeback
At our second ENT visit Wednesday, we confirmed my suspicions. I knew for sure that he'd improved a lot. In the few days before the appointment, I kept imagining that I was writing about it and telling people the news, and in my mind, every time, I said that his left ear only had a total loss of 5-10 decibels, and that the rest would heal up with no problem.
Normal hearing is being able to hear all the frequencies at 25 decibels. For kids his age, they like to see them at 15 decibels instead. Last week, his left ear required decibels ranging between 20 and 60, depending on the frequency. That translated into "mild to moderately severe" loss. This week, the required decibels ranged between 5 and 25. Yes, five. I didn't leave a digit off. Most of the numbers were hovering around 20. This means that his loss, as of Wednesday, was 5-10 decibels. And they fully expect the rest to heal pretty quickly. I got the impression that they think it'll be perfect next week. Aaric saw -10 on the graph, and says he wants his ears to get THAT much better. I'll settle for 15.
Now, the right ear hasn't improved at all. I mean, there were a few frequencies where there was slight improvement, but most of the measurements went down. His range last week was 30-85 decibels and this week it was 50-90. Still, they expect to see improvement over the coming weeks, as the nerve in the ear continues to heal.
Since I'd read that nerve damage can easily take several months to a year, I asked the doctor what he expects to see in Aaric's case. He said that since Aaric is on steroids (Prednisone), we should see healing in 3-6 WEEKS. I'm not holding my breath, and really trying not to get my hopes up about that at all. That just seems awfully optimistic, way too good to be true. He seemed confident in saying that, but I'm still skeptical. I know they WILL heal, but that just seems really fast. It would be great, though.
So, other than Righty being stubborn, it was a pretty good appointment. He also got some fancy doctor recommended custom fitted earplugs to keep water out, so that he can go to the pool safely. And they allow sound in, so that he can hear the lifeguards blowing the whistle!
Mikayla remains jealous that she's never had a horrible injury, and Xander remains clueless that the world doesn't revolve around him. He likes to stomp in laps around the dining room table blowing a whistle while the kids and I try to work on school stuff. I wish that for at least a couple hours a day, he had a handle on that whole "independent play" thing.
Normal hearing is being able to hear all the frequencies at 25 decibels. For kids his age, they like to see them at 15 decibels instead. Last week, his left ear required decibels ranging between 20 and 60, depending on the frequency. That translated into "mild to moderately severe" loss. This week, the required decibels ranged between 5 and 25. Yes, five. I didn't leave a digit off. Most of the numbers were hovering around 20. This means that his loss, as of Wednesday, was 5-10 decibels. And they fully expect the rest to heal pretty quickly. I got the impression that they think it'll be perfect next week. Aaric saw -10 on the graph, and says he wants his ears to get THAT much better. I'll settle for 15.
Now, the right ear hasn't improved at all. I mean, there were a few frequencies where there was slight improvement, but most of the measurements went down. His range last week was 30-85 decibels and this week it was 50-90. Still, they expect to see improvement over the coming weeks, as the nerve in the ear continues to heal.
Since I'd read that nerve damage can easily take several months to a year, I asked the doctor what he expects to see in Aaric's case. He said that since Aaric is on steroids (Prednisone), we should see healing in 3-6 WEEKS. I'm not holding my breath, and really trying not to get my hopes up about that at all. That just seems awfully optimistic, way too good to be true. He seemed confident in saying that, but I'm still skeptical. I know they WILL heal, but that just seems really fast. It would be great, though.
So, other than Righty being stubborn, it was a pretty good appointment. He also got some fancy doctor recommended custom fitted earplugs to keep water out, so that he can go to the pool safely. And they allow sound in, so that he can hear the lifeguards blowing the whistle!
Mikayla remains jealous that she's never had a horrible injury, and Xander remains clueless that the world doesn't revolve around him. He likes to stomp in laps around the dining room table blowing a whistle while the kids and I try to work on school stuff. I wish that for at least a couple hours a day, he had a handle on that whole "independent play" thing.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Aaric the Mythbuster
You may have heard before that if you sneeze with your eyes open, they'll pop out. That's why God made us so that we close them when we sneeze - to protect them from falling on the floor!
Not true. Aaric can prove it. See, that stubborn left eye only blinks when he forces it to, because it moves so much slower than righty. And even when it shuts, it doesn't shut tightly. And so, when he sneezes, it stays wide open. And I'm thankful to report that his eye did not pop out. Can you just see me, a week and a half after dealing with his skull fracture, dealing with a popped out eyeball? I'm so glad this is just a myth.
He would like for me to report that he'd gained superpowers, but I'll tell the truth instead. He's a cheater at Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Not true. Aaric can prove it. See, that stubborn left eye only blinks when he forces it to, because it moves so much slower than righty. And even when it shuts, it doesn't shut tightly. And so, when he sneezes, it stays wide open. And I'm thankful to report that his eye did not pop out. Can you just see me, a week and a half after dealing with his skull fracture, dealing with a popped out eyeball? I'm so glad this is just a myth.
He would like for me to report that he'd gained superpowers, but I'll tell the truth instead. He's a cheater at Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Can we just forget the last week and a half?
Oh, no, because then I'd forget to take him to all the necessary appointments, and that would be bad.
So, let's just recap it real quick like. I'll start with the great day that started the whole ordeal.
Wednesday, July 2, I got up on time, but Mikayla refused to wake up. While I was getting ready, Xander removed his diaper and pooped on the floor. And of course, it couldn't be a nice and easy clean up one, either. We finally make it out the door, and stop at the shoppette for snacks when Mikayla shows me her pretty shoes, and I see that they're ones that are not so great for walking around in all day, so we have to go back to the house. Finally, we made it to the house where we were meeting a couple other people who were following me to Raleigh, to the NC legislative building. Hence, the quote over there, Aaric was looking forward to big protests. Not that it was a protest, but try telling him that. No, we were going for the NCFOM's Independence Birth Day, to show support of the legalization of CPMs, the most common midwife to attend home births.
We had a nice time, met nice people, just barely kept the kids from jumping into the fountain in the middle of the quad we were in, and then went across the street. Across the street is the Museum of Natural Science, and we've been there before but didn't get to see everything. So, we wandered the museum, stopped for a snowcone on the way out, and finished it up by the car before heading home.
We stopped at Golden Corral for dinner, then went home. I wanted to get them to run around some to get nice and tired for bed, so we played outside for a while, then went for a hike on the trails/old roads behind our house. It was a lovely walk, and we even found wild blackberries! I made plans to start doing this most mornings before we start the school day, so that they could run off the early morning crazies, and get some fresh air. It was getting dark, so we went inside. The kids were on my bed watching TV, and I was checking some stuff online for a few minutes.
Around 9:20, I heard a crash. I'll skip the long drawn out gory details. Our dresser fell on Aaric, the TV landed on the bed (and I later learned, Mikayla jumped out of the way or else the TV would have landed on her), Aaric's head got crunched between the top lip of the dresser and the footboard of the bed. We went to the ER by ambulance, and after several hours, he was diagnosed with a concussion (okay, one gory detail that can't be left out, both ears had blood coming out, so of course we knew this was no run of the mill mild concussion), and admitted for the night. His ears are all that he ever said hurt. At lunch time the next day, he had a repeat CT scan and a fracture was found in his temporal bone, which is the one around the ear, on the left side. It was also found that he was leaking cerebral spinal fluid (the fluid that surrounds the brain), and that if it didn't seal up within 24 hours, he'd need surgery. It sealed up on it's own. By Friday he was finally keeping fluids down, and Saturday he started solids and his balance was finally good enough for him to start walking the halls. Before that, he'd been like a living bobble head doll. But not as funny. Also, Saturday night we found out that the radiologist had reviewed his CT scans again, and that both sides of his skull were fractured. Sunday, he was released to go home.
He has hearing loss that varies from mild to severe, depending on which ear and which frequencies. In a typical conversation though, he functions just fine, with very minimal "what??"'s He thinks his ears are still getting better, and I was doubtful, but you know, earlier this week, the TV was absolutely blaring if he was watching it, and right now, they're in the bedroom (the furniture is anchored now!!!) and the TV is no louder than it would be if I was the one watching it. So, maybe he's right. I know that righty isn't normal, but maybe it's getting better. We're told that some may be from swelling and fluid buildup, some may be due to damage to the middle ear, and we know that some portion is damage to the inner ear. Swelling and fluid will go away as he heals. The middle ear can possibly be repaired with surgery. Inner ear damage is permanent. We just don't know how much of which kind of damage there is right now.
He's got some facial nerve damage, mostly on the left but a little on the right. When he smiles, the left side is pretty much blank but the right side is smiling. He's very self conscious about it, and has started covering his mouth when he laughs. We're told that this is most likely just from swelling, and that once it goes down, the nerves will heal. However, that healing process can take several months to a year. I think that the swelling is going down though, both because of his slight hearing improvement, and his eyes. For a couple days, he was having some blurry and double vision, which has now improved and he only has it for a couple minutes first thing in the morning. Ever since the accident, his eyes have been twitchy, watery, and itchy, and that has mostly resolved as well. So, I'm very hopeful that the swelling is nearly gone. He's still got another week of Prednisone to keep it under control.
Now, trust me, that WAS the nutshell version. I promise. We'll be at lots of appointments and I'll hopefully have lots of good updates in the coming months. Coming up in the next week, he sees the ENT and audiologist again on Wednesday, where I hope to find out that the fluid is gone, and that more damage is middle ear than inner.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way, we'll get back to fun blogging again. Later today, hopefully (we all know how I procrastinate), I'll show pics of our blueberry picking trip, and our first fresh blueberry project!
So, let's just recap it real quick like. I'll start with the great day that started the whole ordeal.
Wednesday, July 2, I got up on time, but Mikayla refused to wake up. While I was getting ready, Xander removed his diaper and pooped on the floor. And of course, it couldn't be a nice and easy clean up one, either. We finally make it out the door, and stop at the shoppette for snacks when Mikayla shows me her pretty shoes, and I see that they're ones that are not so great for walking around in all day, so we have to go back to the house. Finally, we made it to the house where we were meeting a couple other people who were following me to Raleigh, to the NC legislative building. Hence, the quote over there, Aaric was looking forward to big protests. Not that it was a protest, but try telling him that. No, we were going for the NCFOM's Independence Birth Day, to show support of the legalization of CPMs, the most common midwife to attend home births.
We had a nice time, met nice people, just barely kept the kids from jumping into the fountain in the middle of the quad we were in, and then went across the street. Across the street is the Museum of Natural Science, and we've been there before but didn't get to see everything. So, we wandered the museum, stopped for a snowcone on the way out, and finished it up by the car before heading home.
We stopped at Golden Corral for dinner, then went home. I wanted to get them to run around some to get nice and tired for bed, so we played outside for a while, then went for a hike on the trails/old roads behind our house. It was a lovely walk, and we even found wild blackberries! I made plans to start doing this most mornings before we start the school day, so that they could run off the early morning crazies, and get some fresh air. It was getting dark, so we went inside. The kids were on my bed watching TV, and I was checking some stuff online for a few minutes.
Around 9:20, I heard a crash. I'll skip the long drawn out gory details. Our dresser fell on Aaric, the TV landed on the bed (and I later learned, Mikayla jumped out of the way or else the TV would have landed on her), Aaric's head got crunched between the top lip of the dresser and the footboard of the bed. We went to the ER by ambulance, and after several hours, he was diagnosed with a concussion (okay, one gory detail that can't be left out, both ears had blood coming out, so of course we knew this was no run of the mill mild concussion), and admitted for the night. His ears are all that he ever said hurt. At lunch time the next day, he had a repeat CT scan and a fracture was found in his temporal bone, which is the one around the ear, on the left side. It was also found that he was leaking cerebral spinal fluid (the fluid that surrounds the brain), and that if it didn't seal up within 24 hours, he'd need surgery. It sealed up on it's own. By Friday he was finally keeping fluids down, and Saturday he started solids and his balance was finally good enough for him to start walking the halls. Before that, he'd been like a living bobble head doll. But not as funny. Also, Saturday night we found out that the radiologist had reviewed his CT scans again, and that both sides of his skull were fractured. Sunday, he was released to go home.
He has hearing loss that varies from mild to severe, depending on which ear and which frequencies. In a typical conversation though, he functions just fine, with very minimal "what??"'s He thinks his ears are still getting better, and I was doubtful, but you know, earlier this week, the TV was absolutely blaring if he was watching it, and right now, they're in the bedroom (the furniture is anchored now!!!) and the TV is no louder than it would be if I was the one watching it. So, maybe he's right. I know that righty isn't normal, but maybe it's getting better. We're told that some may be from swelling and fluid buildup, some may be due to damage to the middle ear, and we know that some portion is damage to the inner ear. Swelling and fluid will go away as he heals. The middle ear can possibly be repaired with surgery. Inner ear damage is permanent. We just don't know how much of which kind of damage there is right now.
He's got some facial nerve damage, mostly on the left but a little on the right. When he smiles, the left side is pretty much blank but the right side is smiling. He's very self conscious about it, and has started covering his mouth when he laughs. We're told that this is most likely just from swelling, and that once it goes down, the nerves will heal. However, that healing process can take several months to a year. I think that the swelling is going down though, both because of his slight hearing improvement, and his eyes. For a couple days, he was having some blurry and double vision, which has now improved and he only has it for a couple minutes first thing in the morning. Ever since the accident, his eyes have been twitchy, watery, and itchy, and that has mostly resolved as well. So, I'm very hopeful that the swelling is nearly gone. He's still got another week of Prednisone to keep it under control.
Now, trust me, that WAS the nutshell version. I promise. We'll be at lots of appointments and I'll hopefully have lots of good updates in the coming months. Coming up in the next week, he sees the ENT and audiologist again on Wednesday, where I hope to find out that the fluid is gone, and that more damage is middle ear than inner.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way, we'll get back to fun blogging again. Later today, hopefully (we all know how I procrastinate), I'll show pics of our blueberry picking trip, and our first fresh blueberry project!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Kids are creepy.
It's late, nearly midnight. I hear a voice say, 'mmm... mom?" and then a sigh. I get up from my desk chair to investigate. It's Mikayla. She's sitting up, with her comforter wrapped around her, her hair looking like Farrah Fawcett's in the winged years. I asked if she was alright. She smiles and says yes. I pause for a second, waiting for her head to spin around or something. I mean, kids don't just wake up in the middle of the night in a cheery mood, surely, she was possessed and this was a trap to lure me closer.
"Why are you awake?" She just smiles and looks at me and makes a funny face. "Lay down and go back to sleep, you're creeping me out."
She did.
I think I preferred it when she "woke up" screaming in terror when she was younger. I find night terrors to be much less creepy than scary little girls smiling at me when they should be asleep.
Really, I thought for a minute that she might throw up. She kinda looked funny at first, with those half open eyes. That's probably what started the creep factor.
I'll never be able to sleep now.
"Why are you awake?" She just smiles and looks at me and makes a funny face. "Lay down and go back to sleep, you're creeping me out."
She did.
I think I preferred it when she "woke up" screaming in terror when she was younger. I find night terrors to be much less creepy than scary little girls smiling at me when they should be asleep.
Really, I thought for a minute that she might throw up. She kinda looked funny at first, with those half open eyes. That's probably what started the creep factor.
I'll never be able to sleep now.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Now, with less pregnancy talk!
So as not to bore and or gross out half of my readers, I decided to put most of my pregnancy thoughts on a separate blog. Also, I have lots of random thoughts and keep trying to journal my pregnancies but always give up after the first few weeks. I'm going to try to keep up with it this time, though. I'll still put anything major in this one, too, but the day to day, blah blah, my back hurts, blah blah, this kid won't quit kicking my bladder, blah blah chatter, I'll keep it to the pregnancy one. So, here it is.
Six year old girls are such a delight!
The following are a selection of quotes from today, from the 6 year old female resident of my house:
"Thank you so much for ruining my life. My entire life. Even when I was a baby."
"I don't think you l-o-v-e me anymore, I think you h-a-t-e me. Do you know what that spells? Hate. You h-a-t-e me. Period. And that is my sentence. Now, what is your sentence?"
I replied that I didn't have a sentence so she went on to say, "Yes you do. Yours is, [said in a snotty voice] 'yes, I do love you, I don't hate you, don't say that.' but I know that's not true."
"Look what I did to the picture I drew of us!" Shows me the ripped up picture. "See what I did? So there!"
"We're not friends. We never were, and were never meant to be." Well, she's got a point there. "We weren't even friends when I was a baby. When I was born, I didn't want you to be my mother." If she hadn't spent her first couple years so firmly attached to my chest and in my arms, I'd believe that.
"You think I'm a b-u-t-t." Well, now that you mention it...
"Thank you so much for ruining my life. My entire life. Even when I was a baby."
"I don't think you l-o-v-e me anymore, I think you h-a-t-e me. Do you know what that spells? Hate. You h-a-t-e me. Period. And that is my sentence. Now, what is your sentence?"
I replied that I didn't have a sentence so she went on to say, "Yes you do. Yours is, [said in a snotty voice] 'yes, I do love you, I don't hate you, don't say that.' but I know that's not true."
"Look what I did to the picture I drew of us!" Shows me the ripped up picture. "See what I did? So there!"
"We're not friends. We never were, and were never meant to be." Well, she's got a point there. "We weren't even friends when I was a baby. When I was born, I didn't want you to be my mother." If she hadn't spent her first couple years so firmly attached to my chest and in my arms, I'd believe that.
"You think I'm a b-u-t-t." Well, now that you mention it...
Thursday, June 05, 2008
He is officially declared "Defluxed."
Actually, I'm certain that "Xander is now defluxed" appears no where in his charts. But he did have a bladder ultrasound today, in which the mounds containing the stuff implanted in his ureters were visible, indicating that they stayed in place, and are successfully working as the natural valve should have been all along. In other words, no more reflux. To truly confirm it, he'll have the big time test in 6 months, the one where they inject dye into his bladder then do a bunch of x rays while he pees it back out, to make sure it only goes out. Michael will get the joy of being with him this go round, since pregnancy and x rays aren't friends. So that'll be in December. Until then, we just assume he's fine. YAY!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Pretend you're a hair stylist for a moment.
Parents walk in with this child:
They tell you that they want the same style, but a little shorter. They say maybe 2 inches. Note that some of those strands are near 6 inches.
Would you plan to send them back out with this kid?
No, I didn't think so, either. I mean, on what planet is that "the same style, just a little shorter?"
It better grow fast, and some curls better return.
They tell you that they want the same style, but a little shorter. They say maybe 2 inches. Note that some of those strands are near 6 inches.
Would you plan to send them back out with this kid?
No, I didn't think so, either. I mean, on what planet is that "the same style, just a little shorter?"
It better grow fast, and some curls better return.
Monday, June 02, 2008
One of the more hectic months of my life
In the whirlwind of dealing with the insurance company and trying not to overdo it while I healed, we somehow managed to get moved in. Luckily, I was only sore for 2 days. We're now in, but only about half unpacked. A week later, we found that the van was indeed totaled, but then also found out that we'd actually be making money off of it, since we got such a good deal when we bought it. Our replacement is technically an upgrade, since it's a year newer, but it does have about 5000 more miles on it than the old one did at the time of the crash, and it's got more wear and tear. Both were former rental vehicles, but the other was was in near perfect condition. This one has a few small scratches, and the interior isn't as perfect, and the mats were stained. We grabbed the old mats out of the old van when we went to clean it out. It IS pretty though. It's a dark red. And other than cosmetics and being a year younger, it's identical to the other one.
The house is great and huge. We're settling in well, unpacking is just a royal pain. It's livable at least, but we've got a lot left to do. Luckily, there's a garage to hold all the boxes so I don't have to push it. But of course, Michael is leaving on Friday and won't be back until November, so we want to get as much as possible done before he leaves.
Because right now, I'm carrying around one of these:
And by the time he gets back, I'll look something like this:
So I need to unpack while I can! So far, I feel fine, so I'm hoping the first trimester exhaustion stays away! Due date is 1/28/09.
The house is great and huge. We're settling in well, unpacking is just a royal pain. It's livable at least, but we've got a lot left to do. Luckily, there's a garage to hold all the boxes so I don't have to push it. But of course, Michael is leaving on Friday and won't be back until November, so we want to get as much as possible done before he leaves.
Because right now, I'm carrying around one of these:
And by the time he gets back, I'll look something like this:
So I need to unpack while I can! So far, I feel fine, so I'm hoping the first trimester exhaustion stays away! Due date is 1/28/09.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
But seriously, how fast can she pack it?
Pretty darn fast, that is, until she has a wreck leaving her sore and stiff, and with details to sort through.
We're fine, it was me, Aaric, and Xander, and there are no actual injuries, I'm just sore. I don't know how fine the van is, we'll hopefully find out Wednesday. Which is also when I'll be buying a new car seat for Mikayla (already replaced Xander's and have a spare for Aaric), picking up my rental car, picking Mom up from the airport, going to the doctor to make sure I'm not injured, and trying to stay sane.
My neck, shoulders, and back are all sore and stiff, and my arms, too. I've got air bag burn on my forearms. Aaric and Xander are completely unharmed.
I'll take pictures, but I make no promises for getting them uploaded any time soon, because that stupid cord has apparently grown legs and walked away.
The other driver is injured, her sternum was hurting pretty bad and they took her off in an ambulance.
More later, it's 1:30 am and I'm having a hard time sleeping.
We're fine, it was me, Aaric, and Xander, and there are no actual injuries, I'm just sore. I don't know how fine the van is, we'll hopefully find out Wednesday. Which is also when I'll be buying a new car seat for Mikayla (already replaced Xander's and have a spare for Aaric), picking up my rental car, picking Mom up from the airport, going to the doctor to make sure I'm not injured, and trying to stay sane.
My neck, shoulders, and back are all sore and stiff, and my arms, too. I've got air bag burn on my forearms. Aaric and Xander are completely unharmed.
I'll take pictures, but I make no promises for getting them uploaded any time soon, because that stupid cord has apparently grown legs and walked away.
The other driver is injured, her sternum was hurting pretty bad and they took her off in an ambulance.
More later, it's 1:30 am and I'm having a hard time sleeping.
Monday, May 05, 2008
How fast can Kelly pack a house?
I've done it in two weeks, and I was living alone with 2 kids. Now, can I do it with Michael here, with 3 kids? One downfall is that this time, since Michael is here, his stuff isn't all packed up in boxes in the garage like it was last time.
We got our new house assignment today, and we pick up keys on the 15th. Of May.
As of tonight, Mikayla's room is 90% done. We had a Girl Scout meeting this afternoon, then went out for dinner, or else more would be done. Her room took about an hour and a half. That includes sorting out the big bags of clothes in her closet that were from both big kids, from the past 2.5 years.
Still left to pack:
Aaric's room - should take around 1.5 again. Maybe less, since I've already sorted some clothes.
Master bedroom - yeah, that's gonna take a couple days.
Living room - maybe 2 hours, tops? And that's with wrapping up the decor in newspaper to prevent breakage. One of the many blessings of not having much decor.
Dining room - Maybe 30 minutes. All that's in there is books and the artsy stuff. and a little decor. I'll toss that in the living room box.
Kitchen - yeah, that will take longer. But still, maybe just 2-3ish. Maybe less, but it will also involve sorting out the stuff to yard-sale and the stuff we'll need until the day we leave here, and the trash...
Back yard - Michael gets the joy of taking the swing set apart. The shed will take an hour or two.
Garage - this would take approximately 9,438 weeks. We need to condense that down to being able to finish by late Friday night, so that we will be ready to have the yard sale on Saturday.
Fun, fun.
And as promised, I will get the pictures uploaded, but the problem is that I can't find the stupid usb that works with the camera. I'm sure we'll come across it as we pack.
We got our new house assignment today, and we pick up keys on the 15th. Of May.
As of tonight, Mikayla's room is 90% done. We had a Girl Scout meeting this afternoon, then went out for dinner, or else more would be done. Her room took about an hour and a half. That includes sorting out the big bags of clothes in her closet that were from both big kids, from the past 2.5 years.
Still left to pack:
Aaric's room - should take around 1.5 again. Maybe less, since I've already sorted some clothes.
Master bedroom - yeah, that's gonna take a couple days.
Living room - maybe 2 hours, tops? And that's with wrapping up the decor in newspaper to prevent breakage. One of the many blessings of not having much decor.
Dining room - Maybe 30 minutes. All that's in there is books and the artsy stuff. and a little decor. I'll toss that in the living room box.
Kitchen - yeah, that will take longer. But still, maybe just 2-3ish. Maybe less, but it will also involve sorting out the stuff to yard-sale and the stuff we'll need until the day we leave here, and the trash...
Back yard - Michael gets the joy of taking the swing set apart. The shed will take an hour or two.
Garage - this would take approximately 9,438 weeks. We need to condense that down to being able to finish by late Friday night, so that we will be ready to have the yard sale on Saturday.
Fun, fun.
And as promised, I will get the pictures uploaded, but the problem is that I can't find the stupid usb that works with the camera. I'm sure we'll come across it as we pack.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Pictures are coming, I promise
I apologize for the delay, we're having technical difficulties. Our memory card isn't cooperating when I stick it in the computer, and I can't find the right cable to just plug the camera straight into the computer instead. I'll get it soon.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I can't wait to move
Xander keeps bringing me shoes. My shoes, his shoes, any shoes he can find. I hear him say, "ssshooo" and then "side?" Which translates into, "Here are our shoes, take me outside!" But I have things to do! So we can move! Because when we move, we'll have a fenced in backyard and then I can just slip his little shoes onto his fat little feet, open the windows and prop the back door, and send him on his merry little way to eat dirt and bugs while I get my stuff done. For now, he just follows me around carrying a shoe or two in his hands, whining.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Leftovers
Some days, there are a million things going on, but I can't gather my thoughts enough to sit down and type about it. Plus, if I did, your head would spin when the things I told you about all changed 2 hours later anyway.
So lets start with the youngest and work our way up.
First I worried that Xander's surgery did not work so well, because I kept seeing him just barely trickle, then stop, then a few minutes, go again. Now I know it was just the typical potty training kid going "oops, I peed in my undies/on the floor, I should stop now" and then refusing to go until later when he was in clean undies/on dry floor. He's fine. Michael said last night in the bath tub, he looked like a statue in a fountain. Well, he is all cute and cherubic, after all.
Now, this one I really hate to do in a big entry about every one else, but oh well. Yesterday was Mikayla's 6th birthday, and she was so excited. Horrible mother that I am, I did not send cupcakes in to school, even though I'm told that EVERYONE else in the class got cupcakes when they were the birthday girl/boy. I did let her have a cookie with her breakfast, though.
She wanted a fancy birthday party with all her friends. She wanted them to all dress up and have a fancy meal. Well, I'm too lazy for all that, but we had a fancy family dinner. With a real table cloth and everything (borrowed). The wine goblets (with tea in them) had pink ribbons around the stems, Michael stopped and bought her flowers for the centerpiece, and we ate on our nicest dishes. And I made Shrimp Scampi and Spinach Tortelloni! Yum!
After dinner, it was time for presents. Aaric disappeared upstairs for a minute, and I couldn't figure out why. He came back down and dropped off a wadded up sock on her stack of gifts. I really didn't want to know what was in there.
She started opening, and was thrilled with her Barbie (I can not believe I bought my kid a Barbie. Setting her up for unrealistic expectations of beauty, blah blah blah, but she's pretty and Mikayla loves her, so I'll get over it.) and Hollie Hobbie DVD. So then, she decides to go for Aaric's gift before opening the last one from us. She unrolls the sock, and inside it is another sock. Looking both intrigued and annoyed, she started unrolling that one. Out fell... MONEY! I mean, really, what better gift for the girl who "collects money?" Just a small handful of change, but she was excited anyway. Next up, earrings. It took her a minute to figure out that this means she can get those ears pierced.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to explain to Aaric why he could not get his pierced, and why I didn't care that there were other little boys at school who had an earring, he wasn't getting one.
Aaric's teacher recently announced a field trip. He came home and asked if you HAVE to go on field trips. I said no, and asked why he didn't want to. Turns out that he took a poll in his class, and he's the only one in class who rides in a booster. People, the NC law is that the child must be at least 8 yrs old or 80 pounds, and the recommendation is that they stay in a booster until they are 4'9". Aaric is the oldest in his class, and he'll be 8 this summer. He's the 2nd tallest in his class, and is 4'1". But anyway, I assured him that boosters weren't necessary on school buses, so he could go and not die of embarrassment.
Okay, I really don't have anything to say about myself. I do good to not go insane while dealing with the stress of moving, medical issues, school stuff, and life in general, so there's no time for anything thrilling to update about. Though, the next part is about us all.
Due to our stressing over moving, especially because of unresolved medical issues (Mikyala), we decided that we really did not want to uproot ourselves right now. We have a great support system here at our wonderful church, we have doctors that we love and trust (and who speak English perfect English...), we have family semi-nearby... we just want to stay. And so, I reveal, Plan E. (I never laid out all the details for you, but we did have a Plan D fully prepared, in case you're keeping count) It is now official, Michael worked it out, and we're staying here at Fort Bragg for a least a while longer.
Plan E entails the following: Moving to a different house here at Bragg, not moving to Ga or Mo, but visiting both. Lucky duck Michael gets out of yet another move, because he'll probably be in Mo when we do it.
I think that's all the highlights. Pictures will be uploaded to Flickr soon (click on the top picture to the left). I've got some of the zoo Saturday and Mikayla's birthday.
So lets start with the youngest and work our way up.
First I worried that Xander's surgery did not work so well, because I kept seeing him just barely trickle, then stop, then a few minutes, go again. Now I know it was just the typical potty training kid going "oops, I peed in my undies/on the floor, I should stop now" and then refusing to go until later when he was in clean undies/on dry floor. He's fine. Michael said last night in the bath tub, he looked like a statue in a fountain. Well, he is all cute and cherubic, after all.
Now, this one I really hate to do in a big entry about every one else, but oh well. Yesterday was Mikayla's 6th birthday, and she was so excited. Horrible mother that I am, I did not send cupcakes in to school, even though I'm told that EVERYONE else in the class got cupcakes when they were the birthday girl/boy. I did let her have a cookie with her breakfast, though.
She wanted a fancy birthday party with all her friends. She wanted them to all dress up and have a fancy meal. Well, I'm too lazy for all that, but we had a fancy family dinner. With a real table cloth and everything (borrowed). The wine goblets (with tea in them) had pink ribbons around the stems, Michael stopped and bought her flowers for the centerpiece, and we ate on our nicest dishes. And I made Shrimp Scampi and Spinach Tortelloni! Yum!
After dinner, it was time for presents. Aaric disappeared upstairs for a minute, and I couldn't figure out why. He came back down and dropped off a wadded up sock on her stack of gifts. I really didn't want to know what was in there.
She started opening, and was thrilled with her Barbie (I can not believe I bought my kid a Barbie. Setting her up for unrealistic expectations of beauty, blah blah blah, but she's pretty and Mikayla loves her, so I'll get over it.) and Hollie Hobbie DVD. So then, she decides to go for Aaric's gift before opening the last one from us. She unrolls the sock, and inside it is another sock. Looking both intrigued and annoyed, she started unrolling that one. Out fell... MONEY! I mean, really, what better gift for the girl who "collects money?" Just a small handful of change, but she was excited anyway. Next up, earrings. It took her a minute to figure out that this means she can get those ears pierced.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to explain to Aaric why he could not get his pierced, and why I didn't care that there were other little boys at school who had an earring, he wasn't getting one.
Aaric's teacher recently announced a field trip. He came home and asked if you HAVE to go on field trips. I said no, and asked why he didn't want to. Turns out that he took a poll in his class, and he's the only one in class who rides in a booster. People, the NC law is that the child must be at least 8 yrs old or 80 pounds, and the recommendation is that they stay in a booster until they are 4'9". Aaric is the oldest in his class, and he'll be 8 this summer. He's the 2nd tallest in his class, and is 4'1". But anyway, I assured him that boosters weren't necessary on school buses, so he could go and not die of embarrassment.
Okay, I really don't have anything to say about myself. I do good to not go insane while dealing with the stress of moving, medical issues, school stuff, and life in general, so there's no time for anything thrilling to update about. Though, the next part is about us all.
Due to our stressing over moving, especially because of unresolved medical issues (Mikyala), we decided that we really did not want to uproot ourselves right now. We have a great support system here at our wonderful church, we have doctors that we love and trust (and who speak English perfect English...), we have family semi-nearby... we just want to stay. And so, I reveal, Plan E. (I never laid out all the details for you, but we did have a Plan D fully prepared, in case you're keeping count) It is now official, Michael worked it out, and we're staying here at Fort Bragg for a least a while longer.
Plan E entails the following: Moving to a different house here at Bragg, not moving to Ga or Mo, but visiting both. Lucky duck Michael gets out of yet another move, because he'll probably be in Mo when we do it.
I think that's all the highlights. Pictures will be uploaded to Flickr soon (click on the top picture to the left). I've got some of the zoo Saturday and Mikayla's birthday.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Oh Yeah, Oops
I realized this morning that after my doom and gloom entry on lichen sclerosis, I never said much else about it. We've had two appointments with the pediatric dermatologists at UNC, and now know that her prognosis is quite good. At the first one, we learned that they're seeing more and more pediatric cases stick around past puberty, so we just won't know until we get there whether she'll be one of the lucky ones or not. But we also learned that the earlier and younger the condition is diagnosed and treated, the lower the chances that the child will suffer from the long term effects. We were given medications, and told to return in two months.
At the second one, which was on Monday, we were told that for some kids, if the treatment is effective, they never get another outbreak. That doesn't mean they're cured, just that they're not having a problem with it at that time. We were told to stop the medications, and don't use them again unless it comes back.
She will need to be seen annually (more often if she's having outbreaks), by a pediatric dermatologist, which is why we'll need to make sure that won't be a problem in Germany. With adults, they know it increases the risk of skin cancer. With kids, they just don't know yet if it does or not, so they like to monitor them just in case.
She also has keratosis pilaris - which explains why her upper arms are bumpy and sometimes itchy. That's minor though. Like eczema but bumpy. No biggie. We just thought, "hey, we're at the dermatologists office, let's ask about every condition we might possibly have!"
Anyway, she'll be fine, and other than when I give her the medicine, it's not something we even have to think about. I'm very hopeful that this is the end of it, or that future outbreaks will be mild.
At the second one, which was on Monday, we were told that for some kids, if the treatment is effective, they never get another outbreak. That doesn't mean they're cured, just that they're not having a problem with it at that time. We were told to stop the medications, and don't use them again unless it comes back.
She will need to be seen annually (more often if she's having outbreaks), by a pediatric dermatologist, which is why we'll need to make sure that won't be a problem in Germany. With adults, they know it increases the risk of skin cancer. With kids, they just don't know yet if it does or not, so they like to monitor them just in case.
She also has keratosis pilaris - which explains why her upper arms are bumpy and sometimes itchy. That's minor though. Like eczema but bumpy. No biggie. We just thought, "hey, we're at the dermatologists office, let's ask about every condition we might possibly have!"
Anyway, she'll be fine, and other than when I give her the medicine, it's not something we even have to think about. I'm very hopeful that this is the end of it, or that future outbreaks will be mild.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Dear Army,
I just need a teensy favor. In addition to the other stuff you haven't worked out yet. Whether you say yes or no, just decide pretty quickly whether Mikayla can see a pediatric dermatologist in the area or not. I mean, we're getting further along in the timeline now, so we'd really appreciate not having to wait around for decades before finding out. I'll remind you of what I pointed out about the pediatric urologist issue - it's easy, you find out if she can be accomodated on base (here, let me help you out - there is a dermatologist on base. You just have to find out if they do pediatrics or not). If not, you find out if she can be accomodated in the area, or at other bases. If not, the answer is no. If so, the answer is yes. No biggie, and with the proper contact numbers, I could dig all this up for you. But since you like to keep things all secret, just be nice and do it quickly. Thanks.
Oh, one more thing. In the future, instead of sending important messages regarding schools and moves to the base where the soldier is temporarily attending school, send them to the base where he's currently stationed. It would be nice if the actual people handling all his orders had been given a heads up to all the changes in the plan, and if they'd known that you'd already sent out a family travel message. The people at Benning didn't care, the people at Bragg do. Or, maybe they don't care, but they're the ones handling all this. So, just let them in on it from now on, okay? Thanks, ever so much!
Kelly
PS - let your friends at Tricare know that if they cover the tests done in radiology, that they should also pay for the actual radiologist who reviewed said tests. And I'm just going to guess that we'll have similar issues with the surgery, so go ahead and spread the word about the anesthesiologist and such, too. I mean, really, is that too much to ask? If the surgery is approved, then you pay for all of it, not just bits and pieces?
[and yes, all of it should be covered, but they have to be TOLD to do so, which is just absurd.]
Oh, one more thing. In the future, instead of sending important messages regarding schools and moves to the base where the soldier is temporarily attending school, send them to the base where he's currently stationed. It would be nice if the actual people handling all his orders had been given a heads up to all the changes in the plan, and if they'd known that you'd already sent out a family travel message. The people at Benning didn't care, the people at Bragg do. Or, maybe they don't care, but they're the ones handling all this. So, just let them in on it from now on, okay? Thanks, ever so much!
Kelly
PS - let your friends at Tricare know that if they cover the tests done in radiology, that they should also pay for the actual radiologist who reviewed said tests. And I'm just going to guess that we'll have similar issues with the surgery, so go ahead and spread the word about the anesthesiologist and such, too. I mean, really, is that too much to ask? If the surgery is approved, then you pay for all of it, not just bits and pieces?
[and yes, all of it should be covered, but they have to be TOLD to do so, which is just absurd.]
Saturday, April 12, 2008
He is now un-refluxed
So says the cystogram that they did immediately after doing the Deflux procedure. It took two vials of the gel stuff that they inject around the valve, to get it to work.
He did great. He took a little longer than the norm to wake up, but we're told he was perfectly fine. He was very much still asleep when we first saw him. Completely limp. It was weird.
Now, he's fine.
The fun part was pre-op. They gave him versed to make him a little loopy. They give it so that the little ones won't mind leaving their parents. After a minute he just seemed like Xander in a good mood. Nothing that wild and crazy, just a bit more enthusiastic with the fun computer game we were playing. A minute after that, he was still not really abnormal, but very laid back. Kinda like, "hey, look at the pretty colors..." you know, if he used full sentences. Really, he just sat there grinning, and let out a short little chuckle every once in a while. I was doubting whether it had worked, actually.
Then the nurses showed up to take him to the OR, and I put him up on the computer desk, and noticed that his balance was pretty bad. He was swaying a bit, and still, just grinning at us all. I put him on the bed. Before, he'd clung to me like a baby koala, but this time, he sat there smiling. I suggested that he lie back, nudged his shoulder, and he plopped on back there.
So, we kissed his little head and sent him on his way.
And a few hours post-op, after we were back home, I inspected all his little boo-boos. He was gassed and asleep before they even put the IV in, so he had no memory of those. But as I was removing the bandaids and talking to him about his owies, he suddenly reached down to his toe, and babbled off some long paragraph. I didn't catch it all, but I'll translate and paraphrase for you...
"And there was that weird thing on my toe! TAPED! To my TOE! That was seriously annoying, and I wanted it OFF! I better not EVER wake up again with stuff taped to my toes. I'd thought those anklets you put on me were bad, but anklets are nothing compared to things taped to my toe. OH, and what was up with my toe glowing bright red? It was just plain freaky. Seriously, never again."
Yeah, he was not a fan of that O2 monitor, and that's how I knew he was fully awake. He woke up, cried for a second, then started pulling on his toe. And a few hours later, he still remembered.
He was, of course, not thrilled with the, literally, toe-curling pain associated with peeing for the first few hours, either. Thankfully, that passed quickly, as did the bloody urine.
By bed time, he was 100% normal. He even peed in the potty again, and twice today. Oh! For the first time ever, he even intentionally climbed up onto the potty on his own free will, to pee. He's peed on command gracious plenty, but usually if he has to go, he goes where ever he happens to be standing. Floor, tub, diaper, whatever. But he chose to pee in the potty. At not even 19 months. The freak. He's out to beat Mikayla.
Also, I need to figure out how to get video footage of him with her new Fur Real Newborn Piglet. It's beyond adorable. He kisses it's nose.
The other kids are great, too, by the way. They had Nana and Granddaddy to themselves yesterday, so they got McDonalds and moon pies. Today they got Mikayla's birthday cake. Grandparents, McDonalds and sugar is a surefire recipe to my kids being happy. Happy, and hyper. A bit loud. Nana bought Mikayla a Disney Princess keyboard. It's also loud. Pray that it's batteries die quickly.
He did great. He took a little longer than the norm to wake up, but we're told he was perfectly fine. He was very much still asleep when we first saw him. Completely limp. It was weird.
Now, he's fine.
The fun part was pre-op. They gave him versed to make him a little loopy. They give it so that the little ones won't mind leaving their parents. After a minute he just seemed like Xander in a good mood. Nothing that wild and crazy, just a bit more enthusiastic with the fun computer game we were playing. A minute after that, he was still not really abnormal, but very laid back. Kinda like, "hey, look at the pretty colors..." you know, if he used full sentences. Really, he just sat there grinning, and let out a short little chuckle every once in a while. I was doubting whether it had worked, actually.
Then the nurses showed up to take him to the OR, and I put him up on the computer desk, and noticed that his balance was pretty bad. He was swaying a bit, and still, just grinning at us all. I put him on the bed. Before, he'd clung to me like a baby koala, but this time, he sat there smiling. I suggested that he lie back, nudged his shoulder, and he plopped on back there.
So, we kissed his little head and sent him on his way.
And a few hours post-op, after we were back home, I inspected all his little boo-boos. He was gassed and asleep before they even put the IV in, so he had no memory of those. But as I was removing the bandaids and talking to him about his owies, he suddenly reached down to his toe, and babbled off some long paragraph. I didn't catch it all, but I'll translate and paraphrase for you...
"And there was that weird thing on my toe! TAPED! To my TOE! That was seriously annoying, and I wanted it OFF! I better not EVER wake up again with stuff taped to my toes. I'd thought those anklets you put on me were bad, but anklets are nothing compared to things taped to my toe. OH, and what was up with my toe glowing bright red? It was just plain freaky. Seriously, never again."
Yeah, he was not a fan of that O2 monitor, and that's how I knew he was fully awake. He woke up, cried for a second, then started pulling on his toe. And a few hours later, he still remembered.
He was, of course, not thrilled with the, literally, toe-curling pain associated with peeing for the first few hours, either. Thankfully, that passed quickly, as did the bloody urine.
By bed time, he was 100% normal. He even peed in the potty again, and twice today. Oh! For the first time ever, he even intentionally climbed up onto the potty on his own free will, to pee. He's peed on command gracious plenty, but usually if he has to go, he goes where ever he happens to be standing. Floor, tub, diaper, whatever. But he chose to pee in the potty. At not even 19 months. The freak. He's out to beat Mikayla.
Also, I need to figure out how to get video footage of him with her new Fur Real Newborn Piglet. It's beyond adorable. He kisses it's nose.
The other kids are great, too, by the way. They had Nana and Granddaddy to themselves yesterday, so they got McDonalds and moon pies. Today they got Mikayla's birthday cake. Grandparents, McDonalds and sugar is a surefire recipe to my kids being happy. Happy, and hyper. A bit loud. Nana bought Mikayla a Disney Princess keyboard. It's also loud. Pray that it's batteries die quickly.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Lucky Car Salesman
He's lucky he didn't send us any letters before we bought the car, because it would have had a drastic effect on our faith in him.
The thank you letter read:
"Injoy your new van!"
Oh dear.
The thank you letter read:
"Injoy your new van!"
Oh dear.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
48 hours
Within the next 48 hours, Xander will have surgery. We might even be back home by this time Friday. I'll find out the time tomorrow, but we're told that it should be around 10, and it takes about an hour for the procedure, then 1-2 hours in recovery, then 1.5 hours to get home. 48 hours.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Parenting Stuff
Some various parenting issues have been on my mind recently, so I'll be writing about some of them. I'm starting off with something that I actually did not write, but have permission to use. It's a letter from a family to their pastor, on the issue of spanking, and I was very impressed when I read it, so asked for permission to use it on my blog.
I had a big long, wordy disclaimer all typed out, but I'm skipping it. Let me just sum it up with - Don't take it personally, these are (and will be) thoughts about parenting philosophies, not the quality of any particular parents. Most of the families that I know personally do use spanking as a punishment, and I can't think of any who I view as bad parents - I simply disagree with some of their methods. And if you think I'm writing with you in mind, I can assure you that you're wrong. For example, I talked to my brother some about parenting today, but that is not my motivation for posting this today, it was merely a coincidence. Actually, my motivation for going ahead and starting this series that I've been thinking about for a while, is that one of my favorite bloggers has been tackling the issue as well, so it's been on my mind. (That's the Graceful Parenting one over on the left, and also referenced in the letter below).
See, I still got wordy. Here's the letter:
Dear Pastor,
We are so grateful for all of the ways that you have helped us to
connect in a closer way with God. This of course has had a profound
influence on our parenting. Yet, in light of a recent sermon, we would
like to present to you an alternative Christian view on disciplining
children. Christians, of course, are probably the strongest proponents
of spanking in the US. It is, so they say, their God given
right---it's what the Bible teaches. That is exactly the point of
contention and what we hope to humbly disprove.
Let's take the Old Testament. Some (our more literal-interpreting
brothers) would say that it covers a period of about 4000-10,000
years; others (our more moderate and liberal brothers), anywhere
between 10,000 to millions and millions of years. Irrespective of
which view you hold, it has to be astounding that there is not one
example of spanking in the whole Old Testament. This is especially
impressive when you consider the large percentage of OT books which
are more narrative than didactic. We might also add that there is no
example of spanking in the New Testament, even though the time period
is significantly shorter (around 100 years) and the majority of the
books are didactic and not narrative. Now certainly there are some
didactic passages in both Testaments that can be construed as being
pro-spanking, however, they can be interpreted in a different light
with sound exegesis.
Strange, isn't it, for a teaching that is so adamantly held by so many
believers that it is not illustrated once in either Testament. But,
even if no narrative biblical passage illustrates spanking, if it is
plainly and consistently taught in didactic passages, then we must
accept it as God ordained. In the Old Testament the only passages that
can be construed as being pro-spanking are found in only one book:
Proverbs. A good hermeneutical principal is to not build doctrine on
poetic passages. The wisdom books are full of symbolism and hyperbole
and are often a stumbling block to the more literal interpreting
readers. The "rod" in these Proverbs passages that so many see as a
license to spank is symbolic. This Hebrew word is often translated as
shepherd's "staff/rod" or king's "scepter". So, if we were to be more
literal, a closer translation would be bat and not twig! But that is
not the author's intent. This "rod" is a symbol of authority and
guidance, like a shepherd guiding his sheep or a king governing his
people. This is why the Psalmist could joyfully exclaim: "thy rod and
thy staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4). We do not wish to pass over
this lightly, because these verses are the foundation of the Christian
pro-spanking argument. However, to avoid repetition, we ask that you
read the following links www.gracefulparenting.blogspot.com and
www.aolff.org for a detailed analysis of these passages.
It is somewhat puzzling that the people who insist that spanking is
Old Testament mandated claim the passages from a poetic book, yet
dismiss clear instructions from a didactic passage in the Torah to
stone rebellious children (Deut. 21:18-21). Why the inconsistency? You
claim that one passage is obviously morally wrong. We submit that both
are morally wrong, especially in light of the culmination of God's
progressive revelation---Jesus Christ, who taught us, among other
things, that unless we "become like little children" we can never
enter the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 18:3. See also Mt. 19:14).
Implication: children are more in tune with God than adults. Which
raises the question: should the unrighteous be punishing the
righteous?
While the Old Testament is of great value, we recognize that no longer
being under the Law changes how we apply some of the OT Scriptures to
our daily lives. So even if spanking is Old Testament taught that
doesn't mean it is New Testament endorsed. Throughout the New
Testament the one passage used to support spanking is Hebrews 12:4-6.
Going back to the original language there, however, also changes the
meaning to the importance of discipline and authority in shaping a
child, not physical punishment. God certainly disciplines us but He
doesn't physically hit us when he does. Read the text. Proper exegesis
shows that the pro-spanking people simply choose to read into this
passage the very point they need to prove.
So, if there are no passages in either Testament that truly encourage
spanking, then we must evaluate discipline according to other
principles that the Bible teaches clearly. Jesus teaches us that we
have two goals: to love God with all that we are, and to treat others
the way we would like to be treated. Nowhere does He imply that His
words do not apply to how we treat children. In fact, His interactions
with children showed a special effort to value them and their
feelings. He also tells us that whatever we do to the least of these
we are doing to Him. Can you honestly say that you would want someone
to hit you? I can't. I can say truthfully that I would want loving
correction and instruction if I were doing something wrong, but being
hit/spanked/popped/smacked would not be a part of it.
Jesus' example was that the one in authority had an even greater
responsibility to act in love than the one under authority. We are to
demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit. Yet how is hitting a child
compatible with the peace, patience, kindness and gentleness in which
we are called to walk? The Bible is very specific about how we should
deal with sin in others: We are taught that in correcting those who
disobey to do so gently (Gal. 6:1). Parents are specifically cautioned
to not cause their children to lose heart (Eph. 6:4). Having the
people you love most in the world deliberately hurt you is pretty
disheartening, regardless of any lofty motives they may claim.
The Bible is clear that parents have a responsibility to discipline
their children. But discipline and spanking are not the same thing.
Discipline is about making disciples, or teaching. It is difficult for
children to focus on a life-lesson, though, if they are distracted by
the anger, hurt, fear, humiliation and resentment that result from
being hit. As career teachers, our professional education classes and
our years of experience with students of many ages have convinced us
that the research is correct in showing that people learn more
effectively through positive reinforcement than from punishment
(negative reinforcement). You have seen this in the family of (name
removed), whose children are delightful to be around. They do not
spank, but instead practice gentle discipline.
Another important point is that most of us are able to learn best from
example--that is why Paul wrote to be imitators of him as beloved
children. Kids are expert mimics. Too many children in our nation are
learning that the way to respond to an offense is to hurt the
offender. "Turning the other cheek" is not supposed to mean baring a
child's bottom. We recognize that in other relationships of authority
(employer/employee, police officer/civilian, pastor/church member,
husband/wife) that physical punishment is inappropriate, even when
correction is needed. Children are even more vulnerable—surely we can
find better ways to correct them, as well.
When Christians teach spanking, the majority has several cute
euphemisms to describe it and a list of guidelines as to how, when,
and with what. There is absolutely no Biblical basis for any of
them—they are essentially cultural. Whether you call it spanking,
popping, smacking or hitting, they all mean to strike a child in order
to produce pain and fear. Why do we feel the need to create so many
guidelines: spank only on the bottom or legs, only X number of times,
only with your hand/a switch/a paddle/PVC pipe (Michael and Debi
Pearl, some of the most popular writers on spanking in Christian
circles, advocate plastic plumbing pipe!). Is spanking on the bottom
any better than the Waorani practice of slapping their children in the
face with stinging nettles? Why, if neither results in permanent
injury? If God didn't impose a limit on the number of times we strike
a child, who is to say that 9 times is worse than 2? While not
spanking in anger is at least more likely to avoid a total loss of
control and avert serious physical injury, watching the person you
love and trust more than any other calmly and deliberately choose to
hurt you is a chilling experience.
I would submit that the reason behind the euphemisms and rules that
Christians create is that our conscience is condemning us. We are
aware on some level that hurting those who are smaller and weaker goes
against the nature of Christ, and feel a need to justify and minimize
what we are actually doing.
Another issue with spanking is that as the child grows, the spankings
must get harder and longer in order to produce the same level of pain
and fear. When do they eventually start to cross the line into abuse?
Of course, most parents stop spanking once the child begins to
approach them in size and maturity. We agree that then it is more
appropriate to use the Biblical admonition, "Come now, let us reason
together…". If the child is old enough to reason, spanking is
unnecessary. If the child is too young to reason, then the child is
too young to effectively understand what the parents are trying to
teach, and the spanking is both cruel and pointless.
The false dichotomy that always pops up is that if parents don't
spank, they are not disciplining their children. That suggests that
parents are relying on spanking as their main or only form of
discipline. Permissive, lazy parenting is neglect. The responsibility
given to parents is a great, even fearsome one. By choosing not to
spank, we have gained deeper insight into our children's hearts. It
has challenged us to deal with anger and pride, and earnestly seek
God's wisdom, patience and love. Proactive parenting is more "work"
than spanking, but already the rewards have been great.
There are so many alternative ways to discipline that result in
harmony and renewed connection between the parent and child. Teaching
a child to do right is much more effective than executing judgment for
doing wrong. When we as parents obey our directive to treat others as
we want to be treated, it causes us to get behind the eyes of the
child and deal with the root of the problem rather than just
suppressing an outward behavior. It is amazing to see a cycle of
irritability and frustration break when the parent chooses to
discipline by restoring relationship. Many parents assume a time-out
is the default choice if parents don't spank. However, often what
children need is more time WITH the parents to reconnect, reassure and
restore. Without turning an already lengthy letter into a book, if you
are interested in other approaches, we would be happy to explain how
we handle specific situations or direct you to sources that we have
found beneficial.
The plan behind redemption is clear. God wants to reconnect with us.
All of the history of the Law shows that merely punishing sin doesn't
change the heart. What changes the hearts of our children is
relationship. Obedience grows out of love and trust rather than a
self-centered desire to avoid punishment. If children obey simply out
of fear of being spanked, their motivation isn't righteous, but only
self-centered.
As a child of God, my choice for obedience isn't based on a fear of
punishment. It isn't a get-out-of-hell-free card for me. It is because
I love Him and have learned to trust Him. My children are learning to
obey for the same reasons. If my children do wrong and repent, for me
to go ahead and hit them seems very inconsistent with the way that God
has forgiven my mistakes. I have a responsibility to show the same
grace toward my kids that I have received. It is God's kindness that
leads us to repentance, not His wrath.
We have chosen to look at this from a Christian perspective, but we
find it interesting that the research is overwhelmingly against
spanking. The American Academy of Pediatrics, like many other
professional organizations involving children and health, has issued a
statement against corporal punishment on the grounds that it is not
nearly as effective as positive reinforcement and that it can be
harmful physically and emotionally. In fact, there are some
indications that spanking is associated with increased delinquent and
antisocial behavior, increased risk of child abuse and spousal abuse,
increased risk of child and adult aggression, decreased child mental
health and decreased adult mental health. Consider this in the light
of Jesus' warning against causing little ones to stumble.
Sometimes it is difficult to discern what the Bible teaches on
specific issues. You have often used the illustration of God playing
hide and seek in order to encourage us to dig deeper and seek Him with
all of our hearts. On the topic of spanking, He has given us glimpses
of His heart--the parable of the unmerciful servant (Mt. 18:21-35), I
John 4, James 2:13. None of these suggest ignoring or excusing sin,
but they all teach us to be humble and loving as we show others,
regardless of their age, a better way.
In closing, we chose to write this to you because of our respect for
you. We know that you are someone who has the courage to look beyond
the easy, superficial answers and the integrity to hold convictions
that may not be popular. Believe us, in Christian circles not spanking
is tantamount to heresy, but it is a very worthy cause. We humbly
suggest that spanking is just another religiously transmitted disease.
We love you and your family and are grateful that God has placed us
under your spiritual leadership. May God bless you and your family.
(names removed)
The following list includes just some of the organizations that have
issued a statement against spanking in the home:
* American Academy of Pediatrics
* American Humane Association
* American Orthopsychiatric Association
* Association for Childhood Education International
* California Medical Association
* Early Childhood Association of Florida
* Family Service of Milwaukee
* International Child Art Foundation
* National Association of Social Workers
* National Foster Parent Association
* Parents Anonymous
* Society for Adolescent Medicine
* United Methodist Church
* Wisconsin Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board
I had a big long, wordy disclaimer all typed out, but I'm skipping it. Let me just sum it up with - Don't take it personally, these are (and will be) thoughts about parenting philosophies, not the quality of any particular parents. Most of the families that I know personally do use spanking as a punishment, and I can't think of any who I view as bad parents - I simply disagree with some of their methods. And if you think I'm writing with you in mind, I can assure you that you're wrong. For example, I talked to my brother some about parenting today, but that is not my motivation for posting this today, it was merely a coincidence. Actually, my motivation for going ahead and starting this series that I've been thinking about for a while, is that one of my favorite bloggers has been tackling the issue as well, so it's been on my mind. (That's the Graceful Parenting one over on the left, and also referenced in the letter below).
See, I still got wordy. Here's the letter:
Dear Pastor,
We are so grateful for all of the ways that you have helped us to
connect in a closer way with God. This of course has had a profound
influence on our parenting. Yet, in light of a recent sermon, we would
like to present to you an alternative Christian view on disciplining
children. Christians, of course, are probably the strongest proponents
of spanking in the US. It is, so they say, their God given
right---it's what the Bible teaches. That is exactly the point of
contention and what we hope to humbly disprove.
Let's take the Old Testament. Some (our more literal-interpreting
brothers) would say that it covers a period of about 4000-10,000
years; others (our more moderate and liberal brothers), anywhere
between 10,000 to millions and millions of years. Irrespective of
which view you hold, it has to be astounding that there is not one
example of spanking in the whole Old Testament. This is especially
impressive when you consider the large percentage of OT books which
are more narrative than didactic. We might also add that there is no
example of spanking in the New Testament, even though the time period
is significantly shorter (around 100 years) and the majority of the
books are didactic and not narrative. Now certainly there are some
didactic passages in both Testaments that can be construed as being
pro-spanking, however, they can be interpreted in a different light
with sound exegesis.
Strange, isn't it, for a teaching that is so adamantly held by so many
believers that it is not illustrated once in either Testament. But,
even if no narrative biblical passage illustrates spanking, if it is
plainly and consistently taught in didactic passages, then we must
accept it as God ordained. In the Old Testament the only passages that
can be construed as being pro-spanking are found in only one book:
Proverbs. A good hermeneutical principal is to not build doctrine on
poetic passages. The wisdom books are full of symbolism and hyperbole
and are often a stumbling block to the more literal interpreting
readers. The "rod" in these Proverbs passages that so many see as a
license to spank is symbolic. This Hebrew word is often translated as
shepherd's "staff/rod" or king's "scepter". So, if we were to be more
literal, a closer translation would be bat and not twig! But that is
not the author's intent. This "rod" is a symbol of authority and
guidance, like a shepherd guiding his sheep or a king governing his
people. This is why the Psalmist could joyfully exclaim: "thy rod and
thy staff, they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4). We do not wish to pass over
this lightly, because these verses are the foundation of the Christian
pro-spanking argument. However, to avoid repetition, we ask that you
read the following links www.gracefulparenting.blogspot.com and
www.aolff.org for a detailed analysis of these passages.
It is somewhat puzzling that the people who insist that spanking is
Old Testament mandated claim the passages from a poetic book, yet
dismiss clear instructions from a didactic passage in the Torah to
stone rebellious children (Deut. 21:18-21). Why the inconsistency? You
claim that one passage is obviously morally wrong. We submit that both
are morally wrong, especially in light of the culmination of God's
progressive revelation---Jesus Christ, who taught us, among other
things, that unless we "become like little children" we can never
enter the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 18:3. See also Mt. 19:14).
Implication: children are more in tune with God than adults. Which
raises the question: should the unrighteous be punishing the
righteous?
While the Old Testament is of great value, we recognize that no longer
being under the Law changes how we apply some of the OT Scriptures to
our daily lives. So even if spanking is Old Testament taught that
doesn't mean it is New Testament endorsed. Throughout the New
Testament the one passage used to support spanking is Hebrews 12:4-6.
Going back to the original language there, however, also changes the
meaning to the importance of discipline and authority in shaping a
child, not physical punishment. God certainly disciplines us but He
doesn't physically hit us when he does. Read the text. Proper exegesis
shows that the pro-spanking people simply choose to read into this
passage the very point they need to prove.
So, if there are no passages in either Testament that truly encourage
spanking, then we must evaluate discipline according to other
principles that the Bible teaches clearly. Jesus teaches us that we
have two goals: to love God with all that we are, and to treat others
the way we would like to be treated. Nowhere does He imply that His
words do not apply to how we treat children. In fact, His interactions
with children showed a special effort to value them and their
feelings. He also tells us that whatever we do to the least of these
we are doing to Him. Can you honestly say that you would want someone
to hit you? I can't. I can say truthfully that I would want loving
correction and instruction if I were doing something wrong, but being
hit/spanked/popped/smacked would not be a part of it.
Jesus' example was that the one in authority had an even greater
responsibility to act in love than the one under authority. We are to
demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit. Yet how is hitting a child
compatible with the peace, patience, kindness and gentleness in which
we are called to walk? The Bible is very specific about how we should
deal with sin in others: We are taught that in correcting those who
disobey to do so gently (Gal. 6:1). Parents are specifically cautioned
to not cause their children to lose heart (Eph. 6:4). Having the
people you love most in the world deliberately hurt you is pretty
disheartening, regardless of any lofty motives they may claim.
The Bible is clear that parents have a responsibility to discipline
their children. But discipline and spanking are not the same thing.
Discipline is about making disciples, or teaching. It is difficult for
children to focus on a life-lesson, though, if they are distracted by
the anger, hurt, fear, humiliation and resentment that result from
being hit. As career teachers, our professional education classes and
our years of experience with students of many ages have convinced us
that the research is correct in showing that people learn more
effectively through positive reinforcement than from punishment
(negative reinforcement). You have seen this in the family of (name
removed), whose children are delightful to be around. They do not
spank, but instead practice gentle discipline.
Another important point is that most of us are able to learn best from
example--that is why Paul wrote to be imitators of him as beloved
children. Kids are expert mimics. Too many children in our nation are
learning that the way to respond to an offense is to hurt the
offender. "Turning the other cheek" is not supposed to mean baring a
child's bottom. We recognize that in other relationships of authority
(employer/employee, police officer/civilian, pastor/church member,
husband/wife) that physical punishment is inappropriate, even when
correction is needed. Children are even more vulnerable—surely we can
find better ways to correct them, as well.
When Christians teach spanking, the majority has several cute
euphemisms to describe it and a list of guidelines as to how, when,
and with what. There is absolutely no Biblical basis for any of
them—they are essentially cultural. Whether you call it spanking,
popping, smacking or hitting, they all mean to strike a child in order
to produce pain and fear. Why do we feel the need to create so many
guidelines: spank only on the bottom or legs, only X number of times,
only with your hand/a switch/a paddle/PVC pipe (Michael and Debi
Pearl, some of the most popular writers on spanking in Christian
circles, advocate plastic plumbing pipe!). Is spanking on the bottom
any better than the Waorani practice of slapping their children in the
face with stinging nettles? Why, if neither results in permanent
injury? If God didn't impose a limit on the number of times we strike
a child, who is to say that 9 times is worse than 2? While not
spanking in anger is at least more likely to avoid a total loss of
control and avert serious physical injury, watching the person you
love and trust more than any other calmly and deliberately choose to
hurt you is a chilling experience.
I would submit that the reason behind the euphemisms and rules that
Christians create is that our conscience is condemning us. We are
aware on some level that hurting those who are smaller and weaker goes
against the nature of Christ, and feel a need to justify and minimize
what we are actually doing.
Another issue with spanking is that as the child grows, the spankings
must get harder and longer in order to produce the same level of pain
and fear. When do they eventually start to cross the line into abuse?
Of course, most parents stop spanking once the child begins to
approach them in size and maturity. We agree that then it is more
appropriate to use the Biblical admonition, "Come now, let us reason
together…". If the child is old enough to reason, spanking is
unnecessary. If the child is too young to reason, then the child is
too young to effectively understand what the parents are trying to
teach, and the spanking is both cruel and pointless.
The false dichotomy that always pops up is that if parents don't
spank, they are not disciplining their children. That suggests that
parents are relying on spanking as their main or only form of
discipline. Permissive, lazy parenting is neglect. The responsibility
given to parents is a great, even fearsome one. By choosing not to
spank, we have gained deeper insight into our children's hearts. It
has challenged us to deal with anger and pride, and earnestly seek
God's wisdom, patience and love. Proactive parenting is more "work"
than spanking, but already the rewards have been great.
There are so many alternative ways to discipline that result in
harmony and renewed connection between the parent and child. Teaching
a child to do right is much more effective than executing judgment for
doing wrong. When we as parents obey our directive to treat others as
we want to be treated, it causes us to get behind the eyes of the
child and deal with the root of the problem rather than just
suppressing an outward behavior. It is amazing to see a cycle of
irritability and frustration break when the parent chooses to
discipline by restoring relationship. Many parents assume a time-out
is the default choice if parents don't spank. However, often what
children need is more time WITH the parents to reconnect, reassure and
restore. Without turning an already lengthy letter into a book, if you
are interested in other approaches, we would be happy to explain how
we handle specific situations or direct you to sources that we have
found beneficial.
The plan behind redemption is clear. God wants to reconnect with us.
All of the history of the Law shows that merely punishing sin doesn't
change the heart. What changes the hearts of our children is
relationship. Obedience grows out of love and trust rather than a
self-centered desire to avoid punishment. If children obey simply out
of fear of being spanked, their motivation isn't righteous, but only
self-centered.
As a child of God, my choice for obedience isn't based on a fear of
punishment. It isn't a get-out-of-hell-free card for me. It is because
I love Him and have learned to trust Him. My children are learning to
obey for the same reasons. If my children do wrong and repent, for me
to go ahead and hit them seems very inconsistent with the way that God
has forgiven my mistakes. I have a responsibility to show the same
grace toward my kids that I have received. It is God's kindness that
leads us to repentance, not His wrath.
We have chosen to look at this from a Christian perspective, but we
find it interesting that the research is overwhelmingly against
spanking. The American Academy of Pediatrics, like many other
professional organizations involving children and health, has issued a
statement against corporal punishment on the grounds that it is not
nearly as effective as positive reinforcement and that it can be
harmful physically and emotionally. In fact, there are some
indications that spanking is associated with increased delinquent and
antisocial behavior, increased risk of child abuse and spousal abuse,
increased risk of child and adult aggression, decreased child mental
health and decreased adult mental health. Consider this in the light
of Jesus' warning against causing little ones to stumble.
Sometimes it is difficult to discern what the Bible teaches on
specific issues. You have often used the illustration of God playing
hide and seek in order to encourage us to dig deeper and seek Him with
all of our hearts. On the topic of spanking, He has given us glimpses
of His heart--the parable of the unmerciful servant (Mt. 18:21-35), I
John 4, James 2:13. None of these suggest ignoring or excusing sin,
but they all teach us to be humble and loving as we show others,
regardless of their age, a better way.
In closing, we chose to write this to you because of our respect for
you. We know that you are someone who has the courage to look beyond
the easy, superficial answers and the integrity to hold convictions
that may not be popular. Believe us, in Christian circles not spanking
is tantamount to heresy, but it is a very worthy cause. We humbly
suggest that spanking is just another religiously transmitted disease.
We love you and your family and are grateful that God has placed us
under your spiritual leadership. May God bless you and your family.
(names removed)
The following list includes just some of the organizations that have
issued a statement against spanking in the home:
* American Academy of Pediatrics
* American Humane Association
* American Orthopsychiatric Association
* Association for Childhood Education International
* California Medical Association
* Early Childhood Association of Florida
* Family Service of Milwaukee
* International Child Art Foundation
* National Association of Social Workers
* National Foster Parent Association
* Parents Anonymous
* Society for Adolescent Medicine
* United Methodist Church
* Wisconsin Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Board
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