First, a few disclaimers.
The TV downstairs (which is the only one they watch) is almost always on either PBS Kids or G - PG rated movies.
I apologize in advance for the usage of one small little word in this story. If I censored it, Michael would make fun of me, but if I leave it, my mother will have to cover her delicate eyes. Or Mrs. Dianne! Mrs. Dianne, if you're reading this, you should either hit the "back" button now, or choose to believe that a little girl took her pet donkey to the Fort Bragg July 4th festivities. Your choice. We aren't allowed to have farm animals living on Fort Bragg, but the advertisements for the big day only said, "no dogs" - no mention of farm animals.
At our celebration, there's a big to-do with an announcer calling out each state's name, the date they joined the union, and what the state is known for. The state's flag is walked out, and a cannon is shot (no actual cannon balls, we wouldn't want to hurt people). At the end, the American flag is presented, and the National Anthem sung. Then, the colors are retired, to a drum beat. And that is where/when the following conversation took place...
I hope I've taken up enough space that the part about the donkey won't be visible unless you scroll down.
Michael was standing beside me, with Aaric directly in front of us. Michael leans over and says, "Is that little girl up there shaking her ass to the retiring of the colors??!"
I laughed, indeed, there was a girl who looked around 9 who was thoroughly enjoying the rhythm. Aaric looked back at me and said, "Did Dad just cuss?" Michael didn't hear him, and continued on, "I wonder what she'll be when she grows up?"
Without missing a beat, Aaric replied, "a stripper."
He says he heard it on TV. Seriously, what is Big Bird teaching these kids about these days?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
One Year
One year ago today, I'd only gotten a couple hours of sleep on a fold-out hospital chair, and I learned that Aaric did not just have a concussion, but a pretty serious skull fracture. A year ago today, we were told that he might need surgery to seal the hole that was allowing spinal fluid to leak out.
Last week, I spent a few hours with my head spinning a bit - Xander fell a whopping two feet and hit the side of his head, just above his ear, on a bookshelf. He had a little knot and a bruise, and quickly went back to playing as usual. My mind kept going back to Aaric's accident, and pondering whether Xander's injury might be worse than it appeared. I went back and forth between reassuring myself that he was fine and worrying that he wasn't. Facts reassured me - a fracture like Aaric's requires a lot of force - more than the force from a 30 pounder falling over. And he was acting perfectly normal. Though I knew he was fine, I was shaken. Because a year ago, I had a kid with a broken head, hearing loss, and almost no equilibrium.
I've learned a lot this year. It was stressful, and the accident in particular was horrible. And it was life-changing. Michael had left for school again, the kids finished the school year, we traveled home, and then there we were - back home, just me and the kids, decompressing. Still trying to wrap my mind around surviving the summer alone. Oh, and let's not forget - pregnant. I was in a funk. The house was bad. Suitcases were only partially unpacked and we'd been home for 9 days. The playroom hadn't even been unpacked since we'd moved in a few weeks earlier. There were boxes in every room. And where there weren't boxes, there was clutter. It was bad. The accident snapped me out of it. After we got back home, I knew I had to suck it up and keep it together, and I did.
I discovered that my friends were more than friends. They're family. I hesitate to list examples, because I know that I'll probably leave some out. But some stick out. Kenna joined me at the ER for moral support. It was gross, and she got little sleep, but she did it. The next night, she and Tom welcomed Mikayla and Xander into their home, even though Tom had just come home from Iraq 3 days before. Kenna gathered up more friends, and they cleaned my house while I was at the hospital. Top to bottom, every room got cleaned up. The playroom got unpacked, along with some other boxes. I was too overwhelmed with dealing with Aaric to even think to protest, or to bother with feeling embarrassed. I mean, sure, I was embarrassed, but I was too full of fear for Aaric and gratitude for my friends and family to allow much room for embarrassment. It was definitely a humbling experience.
My Mom, Aunt Becky, and Michael's parents came up to help out, too. I was thankful that I didn't have to impose on my friends for the next couple nights.
And then, during the recovery, my friends continued to reach out. To call and make sure I was doing okay. To come over and hang out. Mikayla was feeling a bit neglected, and Jennifer and (another) Tom, who lived a couple doors down, welcomed her in almost every day, for several hours. Jennifer and I took all the kids blueberry picking. For several months, I made muffins with frozen berries. Every time, it reminded me of those early post-fracture weeks, and the friendships that had grown out of it.
So, a year later, I feel a lot of things. Relieved that though Aaric suffered a fracture that is often fatal, concerned that his hearing still isn't 100%, guilty that I didn't make sure that furniture was anchored, and grateful that I have friends and family who will drop everything to help other people.
Now, we're in a new neighborhood. Tom and Jennifer just left Ft Bragg yesterday. We've got great neighbors here, who we sit around and talk with most evenings. I'm just as thankful for these friends - they'll help keep me sane next time Michael is gone. I just pray that I won't ever have to ask them, or Kenna and the many others who helped out, to give as much as I was given last year.
Now, enough with the deep thoughts. It's time to do some laundry and then head outside. We're grilling with the neighbors today!
Last week, I spent a few hours with my head spinning a bit - Xander fell a whopping two feet and hit the side of his head, just above his ear, on a bookshelf. He had a little knot and a bruise, and quickly went back to playing as usual. My mind kept going back to Aaric's accident, and pondering whether Xander's injury might be worse than it appeared. I went back and forth between reassuring myself that he was fine and worrying that he wasn't. Facts reassured me - a fracture like Aaric's requires a lot of force - more than the force from a 30 pounder falling over. And he was acting perfectly normal. Though I knew he was fine, I was shaken. Because a year ago, I had a kid with a broken head, hearing loss, and almost no equilibrium.
I've learned a lot this year. It was stressful, and the accident in particular was horrible. And it was life-changing. Michael had left for school again, the kids finished the school year, we traveled home, and then there we were - back home, just me and the kids, decompressing. Still trying to wrap my mind around surviving the summer alone. Oh, and let's not forget - pregnant. I was in a funk. The house was bad. Suitcases were only partially unpacked and we'd been home for 9 days. The playroom hadn't even been unpacked since we'd moved in a few weeks earlier. There were boxes in every room. And where there weren't boxes, there was clutter. It was bad. The accident snapped me out of it. After we got back home, I knew I had to suck it up and keep it together, and I did.
I discovered that my friends were more than friends. They're family. I hesitate to list examples, because I know that I'll probably leave some out. But some stick out. Kenna joined me at the ER for moral support. It was gross, and she got little sleep, but she did it. The next night, she and Tom welcomed Mikayla and Xander into their home, even though Tom had just come home from Iraq 3 days before. Kenna gathered up more friends, and they cleaned my house while I was at the hospital. Top to bottom, every room got cleaned up. The playroom got unpacked, along with some other boxes. I was too overwhelmed with dealing with Aaric to even think to protest, or to bother with feeling embarrassed. I mean, sure, I was embarrassed, but I was too full of fear for Aaric and gratitude for my friends and family to allow much room for embarrassment. It was definitely a humbling experience.
My Mom, Aunt Becky, and Michael's parents came up to help out, too. I was thankful that I didn't have to impose on my friends for the next couple nights.
And then, during the recovery, my friends continued to reach out. To call and make sure I was doing okay. To come over and hang out. Mikayla was feeling a bit neglected, and Jennifer and (another) Tom, who lived a couple doors down, welcomed her in almost every day, for several hours. Jennifer and I took all the kids blueberry picking. For several months, I made muffins with frozen berries. Every time, it reminded me of those early post-fracture weeks, and the friendships that had grown out of it.
So, a year later, I feel a lot of things. Relieved that though Aaric suffered a fracture that is often fatal, concerned that his hearing still isn't 100%, guilty that I didn't make sure that furniture was anchored, and grateful that I have friends and family who will drop everything to help other people.
Now, we're in a new neighborhood. Tom and Jennifer just left Ft Bragg yesterday. We've got great neighbors here, who we sit around and talk with most evenings. I'm just as thankful for these friends - they'll help keep me sane next time Michael is gone. I just pray that I won't ever have to ask them, or Kenna and the many others who helped out, to give as much as I was given last year.
Now, enough with the deep thoughts. It's time to do some laundry and then head outside. We're grilling with the neighbors today!
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