Thought of the day - Courage to pray

Hong's father is in SGH right now down will a coronary artery blocked i think. A ballooning cannot work. It is down to whether his father is suitable for bypass.'

Seeing him worrying about his dad, i can't offer him any words of comfort at all. I felt very bad on the bus. Telling him that everything is alright isn't exactly going to help him either as we all know that everything is already not alright.

You see... The only thing that comforts us is that we can send a prayer up to the Lord and cast all our worries to Him. Even that, we might not be able to stop worrying entirely. We still tackle problems. However, we find absolute peace in that God will be there to help us when we overcome our obstacles or carry us when we fall. This works even better when we pray in a group which is done in my BB with prayer requests. Prayers are powerful.

I guess i was too shy. I din't want to be seen as an agressive evangelist. I am not one. I'm just a Christian. I am the church. I wanted to lay my hand on him and pray for him. But i din't. Hmmm... Oh dear i need more courage...

I guess God will want us to pray for everyone, including unbelievers. He said," Love your neighbours just as i had loved you." We shouldn't do this in private too. Being humble of our faith is one thing, showing God's love is another. Our God is formless and everything. Its is through us that people can see who we believe in. Gosh.. I have to guard my mouth and actions properly. Hahah!

Hmmm...

Give me the courage of Simba! *roars*

We'll all bow down...

Service was great today! We started a series of new materials for DG today and i am so stunned that JACK WAS THERE!

My first reaction on seeing him was... "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" in such amazement. HAHA.. I was so shocked that i din't realise i was saying a very judging statement to one of my 10 years friend. =( Here, my mentor cum BB officer came in and said,"You shouldn't ask why is he here.. You should say WELCOME!" Haha... Mr Or was quite funny when he said that and i couldn't agree more! It is a GOOD DAY INDEED! I'm quite happy that he is here with us in fact as i know through all things, his heart is still a bit hardened. Well! At least he is here with us on our first day on our new material! THIS IS A SIGN! Hahah... All of us agreed unanimously.

The material was on how to become a spiritual fertiliser for myself as well as others. The Tree image came to my mind immediately as well as the candle theory of Mr Ong. However, there's more to it! This is all shown to us when the Apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Thessalonians who were converted and were prosecuted for converting from their Jewish religion. We will always pray for them, acknowledge and affirm any growth you seen, celebrate their sonship and mentor by being a role model.

This reminded me of how i came to be envious and felt the urge to become a Christian. Besides a faith journey, Daniel was one person who i am so envious of because of his undying faith and love for God. His actions and words speaks clearly that he is really a man of God. It is like you see God's image in him and though we as man are flawed, he is really just as close as we can get to to become like Jesus. Well, when we had this discussion shared in DG, both Jack and i had the same models for our Christian lives. First was BB which brought me to the Words which i so treasured and am still using now and the person was Daniel.

This isn't the type of envious in which you yearn to have something tangible in which another person possesses. It is this faith i see in him that at that moment, i thought,

"Hmmm.. How wonderful if i had that strong faith i see in him..."

Since then, he is the model i try to model after. And all is good. =D


Hmmm... He is good. How do i know that? He had a crown of thorns and He carried the cross on his back. He gives me peace when He said,

"Peace be with you." John 20:19

Mid Autumn Festival...

Today was quite a fruitful day. I restringed my racquet at Queensway, finished my BN3301 lab report and summed up my technical details for my design project, MLE4102... Hmmm.. Actually, i think i am just slow. Haha... Luckily, i had Louelle to company me. If not i will be totally @.@... Thanks Louelle =)

For these few days, i have been on a marathon actually. A race against time facing deadlines, one after another. I really do hope my efforts come to something at the end of this semester though.

Anyway, its Mid Autumn today! The moon was very shiny and bright and round. And yes wenhao, i saw the one star up there too. Haha.. This was once one of the craziest time of the year where my brothers and me would light up the entire "garden" in front of my apt block. My parents would buy lotsa candles and distribute them amount me and my brothers. So it was a race to light every up as soon as possible so when we finish lighting up the last candle, the first one would still be burning bright! We would have our paper lanterns too! We din't have much chance to play with battery operated lanterns cause er..... I dunno why also. Paper one was cheaper and we din mind ba. Haha...

I still remember that those were the times where i will just squat in front of my candles with my lantern and marveled at the sight. Totally awesome~ I wasn't much of a sparkles guy as it lasted only as long a 10-20s maybe. Candles lasted longer. =) The thing is, when one candle get blown out, i can use the one beside to lit it up again! Sparkles will just die forever after a short time of glamour.

When i came back home, i took a glance over my corridor and look downstair. I see lotsa children playing with lanterns and candles. Some traditions will never die i guess. =D It reminds me of the time when fang fang was still with us, we brought her downstairs to play during mid autumn too. The difference was, now she had 3 kor kors to light candles with her and help make a beautifully lit world for her. She has lotsa sparkles to herself too, though at first she was more of being alarmed than amazed but the sparkles. I had to hold her sparkles with her tiny little hands just to show her that its nothing painful. Haha... After that, i was just too preoccupied with making sure she doesn't hold the sparkles too close to her eyes! LOL... My mum's friends (neighbours) will congregate together with us and made everything looked like a picnic with lotsa food like pomelo, mooncake, pineapple tarts etc... It was really legendary. Totally a fit for illegal gathering. LOL...

Maybe i spoilt her a little.. Haha.. Cause i used to carry her around. And i mean everywhere we went till i decided that she should walk a bit. Maybe thats why my mum forced her to walk most of the time when she was with my mum.. Ooops! Haha.. Then again, she was the sweetheart of my family. =) The daughter my parents never had... I can't say she's the sister i never had cause that would be very unfair to ar girl and ting ting. Haha! Just that, she's the little sister who i literally took care of. The little sister i gave superman rides to. The little sister whom i drank vitagen with!

*rants*

WHY IS THERE SO MANY THINGS TO DO EVEN WHEN ITS RECESS WEEK?!

FYP, DESIGN, ENG PROF PROJECT, TISSUE ENG PROJECT!

3 TESTS AFTER RECESS!

haiz~

*Break my heart for what breaks yours*

Church is my holy sanctuary. It is the place where i want to be, every sunday, even though i feel very tired.

Today was a very fruitful day. We din't start our dg material today on Thessalonians. We had a brother who's going to go on a mission trip with SYFC to share with us as well as asking for sponsorship for his trip cause he can only pay 10% of his own airfare. Anyway, we supported him. =D Glad to be of help for his mission. Haa..

Mr Ong share some of his vision for the youth ministry today in dg with us. Of cause, being my ex Captain of my BB company, he is part of our dg. He has a long plan. In short, we are like candles who are burning brightly individually. As what Jesus said, go and make disciples of Him and baptise them so that everyone will come to know of the Truth, the good news that Jesus has brought of us mankind. I am a candle, i want to light up other candles just like how mine was lighted. I will burn brightly and strongly till when i burn out and that will be when i am with the Lord in heaven.

Passion filled me today in cell. It is a higher calling which i, for now do not have a clue of how to go about fulfilling my calling. I just pray hard that whatever this calling is for me, my heart will not hardened over time and cause this to become an obligation. "THIS IS MY PASSION!" I will proclaim out loud. Rev Chang asked the congregation today, "Who proclaimed to the others before, Believe in JESUS!" I din't. He then asked,"Who tried to share the gospel before?" I was so happy, i raised my hand! At first all of us raised halfheartedly cause as humans, we are scared of being paiseh. But later, he said,"This is a good thing! You should raise your hand up high!" And i did! It was a happy thing. It was not a being proud moment actually. I was HAPPY!

Being a candle, i admitted that as i burnt brightly with passion and faith, i was nonetheless very muted and i din't really light up other people's candles. With a fiery flame, i did not help others burn brighter. Its really sad.

WENHAO! When i ask you to come to church, try to come k. =D You know... Maybe... I can be the candle that lights you up! Through me, i hope, you will see the image of the God i love. =)

Much has been said and done about not letting our hearts be hardened. I have always linked it to walking away from God and distrusting Him due to worldly influences or disappointments. This new revelation came from the sermon of Holistic Mission today. It is summed up by the chorus of the song Hosanna by hillsong.

"Break my heart for what breaks yours."

I just pray that i will continue and always have that compassion and love with me. Many unfortunate people are around us everyday and we just look at them nonchalantly like its the most natural thing in the world. How many times have we stopped in our tracks and slip a prayer for them when we see them? Rev Chang showed us what the Lutheran World Missions were doing up till recently. We managed to set up a church in Thailand in a village to minister and help the people! Its the first Lutheran church in Thailand! I was quite touched when i saw the pictures of what was happening there. Kids were being fed with REAL FOOD now! Parents there were really touched and felt His love deeply. It is to the extent that whenever they see missionaries, they'll proclaim," Praise the Lord!" I mean... How cool is that?! Totally awesome~ I mean, we don't even do that in church!

Hmmm... Anyway... 3 things that affected me today...

Love... Passion... Compassion...

*East To West*

Here I am, Lord, and i'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And i stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today i feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Chorus:
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
cause i can't bear to see the man i've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy i find rest
cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm i'm in
Today i feel like i'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Chorus

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what i feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man i've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy i find rest
cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other....


Well... This is my song for the week. =) Somehow this song speaks to me. Grace and mercy from Him tells me that i am in His favour as long as my actions glorify His kingdom. However, there's always this fear of losing His favour and having to watch Him leave me because of a single mistake.

I guess... This is when i find out how important He is in my life. Casting all my sins away, just because he can, from the east to the west. How awesome is He when He tells you that,

"It is OK... You are forgiven."

This act of forgiven is always pronounced by our pastors after confession during the Absolution. It is done after Confession and this is a tradition in our Lutheran services as well as Catholic Masses. To me, Confession and Absolution is the most important part of the entire service besides the spiritual food of the sermon. It is naturally only right to set your hearts right the minute you step into His Holy place. Akin to Moses taking off his slipper when He saw the bush fire because he was stepping on Holy ground, i take my confessions as seriously as that. And that is how i "take off my shoes" when i enter His Holy place. His word speaks of Confession and Absolution in the passage James 5: 16 and John 20: 22-23 as biblical evidences for forgiveness.

Setting my heart right isn't just only concentrating my whole heart on His praise and worship. Its about asking for forgiveness for what i have done, what i have left undone, what i know i've done wrong and lastly for what i did not know that i have done wrong. Without confession, i am just feel like a hypocrite shouting His name in songs when my heart just doesn't feel right. Thus, it is NEVER OK to be late for church as Confession and Absolution is always one of the first sections of the service. I treasure the time i have for confession in service as i see it as a total renewal and absolution for my actions of the week. Holy Absolution when its a one on one confession with my pastor is just all too scary now.

The joy that flows within in the ability to worship guilt free after confession is priceless. I mean i really feel happy not because i can sing his praises and worship, but also that i am done with a forgiven self and that is all just too precious. With that, as Jesus said to his disciples,

"Peace be unto you."

We share the peace with our friends, our pastors and our care groups.


Something can into my minds today... I am sitting on a chair. A stool if you would call it. I placed another one for You beside me. Will there be a time, where you would finally sit down and we can talk... I wrote your name on it.... Grey's Anatomy tells me that if i see you i might have a tumor in my brain... But you know... Enlighten me. =)

While i'm waiting...

This song has been playing a lot on my randomed playlist and 1faith.fm throughout this weekend. It one of my favourite song from a christian movie, Fireproof. Hmmm... Many things, known or unknown, certain or uncertain, we have to wait... While i'm waiting, i will be obedient...

Deuteronomy 11.... Obedience will bring blessings and disobedience, curses...

Today's sermon reminded me of something very important. Its about failing and yet being loved. The sermon was taken from the book of Exodus when the Israelites were been brought out of Egypt towards Canaan.

They sang songs and praised God for helping them cross the red sea and drowning all of the pharaoh's men. However, in the desert, their humanly nature surfaced and they complained as they did not have water. Soon, they ran out of food too. God to them then was something that is linked to tangible benefits, namely, manna and water. The were never satisfied with the covenant grace which were shown to them since they were brought out of Egypt. Thats the failure of the Israelites.

Aaron being the leader of the entire nation crafted the golden calf as an image of God. He was left in charge when Moses left for Mount Sinai. Crafting an idol to signify God when He is the invisible and mysterious God, he had already broke the commandments even before they recieved it. Aaron failed too as a role model as he was compelled to craft the golden calf when he should have admonish the Israelites for their audacity.

Despite all these, they were still loved. the Israelites inherited Canaan which was flowing with honey and water by the grace of God. Aaron was still called to the Tent of Meetings with his sons to be anointed. They were loved despite of their grave offences. They were still commanded to glorify His kingdom when they were proven to be unworthy.

God had this master plan.... I am guessing due to the fact that we know ourselves that we are unworthy of His grace, we tend to work harder and constantly remind ourselves that it is through His covenant grace that we live to glorify His kingdom. In our lifes, though we are not bound by the covenant grace anyore of the old testiment, we're loved by the grace and mercy shown by God when His Son came to die for us. This is the new covenant formed in the new testiment, formed by the blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. We will not be complacent, we will watch our actions, we will know that we're unworthy and yet we're called on to spread the kingdom.

Argh... IT'S 1 IN THE MORNING! I SHOULD SLEEP.

Patience and Obedience. That's what i learnt this week. =D

*comfort for my heart*

when all is said and done.... what we commanded to do is...


"Be still, and know that I am God."

Psa 46:10


Being in the Boys' Brigade, being in church, being around friends in Engin, being once an unbeliever, it gives me a totally rounded perspective on how people react and behave. As i have seen and realised, the behaviours of Christians and non-Christians are really pretty much different. Maybe its cause of the Word, maybe its what we taught, maybe its because of what we believe in, we're definitely different from the rest of the world and that is what makes us Christians

Being still is what commanded of us when we are frightened, when we are down, when we have done all we can, when the future looks bleak, when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, when things are not going where we want it to go. It reminds us constantly that we are finite beings. He is the only infinite God. He can make anything happen. He has planned everything for us.

I was brought up in a buddhist/taoist family. I prayed from young to idols for whatever i wanted like grades and maybe even health. Those were the times where i offered joss sticks to them and whatever things my parents ask me to hold in my hands to ask the idols to give me what i want. Those were the times where when i walk past a "Local earth god" idol, my muscle memory would urge me to spurl out "Excuse me" as instructed by my parents when i was young.

The point i am trying to make here is that, out of the many of the differences between a Christian and non-Christian, this is the biggest difference. What baffles many people is why can we be still when something is wrong? For "free-thinkers", they either believe only in themselves
or they believe in any religions that helps them, i.e., going to all temples and whatever. They do what they think might help their situation and refuses profusely to be still. However, people in Christ does things a little differently. We do all in our powers too, but deep down in our hearts we know that being still is the way to be when all is done. We believe in a plan which has being drafted for us since even before we existed.

Being still isn't exactly an easy command to follow. It requires absolute trust and faith. You need to trust that whatever happens is what is deemed best for you by Him. You must keep the faith that He is always there when you call out to Him. That is how we remain calm. That is how we find peace. We present our worries to Him so that He will take care of them for us. He can answer you immediately or He will wait for the right time, we just have to BE STILL!

Our parents always see how the world influences us. The way we talk, the way we react, the way we live our lives. That is true. However, this doesn't apply to us. The Word influences us. So let us just pray that whenever we make whatever decisions we make, let the cross we bear always remind us that whatever we do, our actions must glorify His kingdom.



When things do not go as planned or hoped...


"What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."

Rev 3:7-8


He will show to you the bigger plan He has for you. Something that is worth a lot more that you have ever hoped for. The thing here is that whatever door he shuts on you, you cannot open and whatever He opens for you, no one can shut. Keeping the faith when things ain't going as you hoped is difficult and sometimes it crushes you through and through, but... if you do, treasures will be opened to you and you will enjoy the most awesome everlasting life. =)


Though the heart bleeds, we do what we can and continue to glorify his kingdom. Soldiers of the Cross ain't defeated that easily. We fight, yet we pray and at the same time, we know how to Be Still... And that is all that matters.

Amen...


So many things i wanna share...

*Rants*

Chin up... Pull your shoulders back. Walk proud. Strut a little. Don't lick your wounds... Celebrate them... The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. We are all in a lion fight. Just because we didn't win doesn't mean that we don't know how to roar.

When i heard this from Grey's Anatomy, i'm inspired. Don't get me wrong. I'm not that ready to say i want to join post grad med school though it has been on my mind. I'm inspired... To fight harder. Getting into NUS isn't exactly a hard thing to do. Surviving it is. It is especially prominent when you have a small cohort of elites, or rather, when you are in a huge cohort of elites. The thing about survival in NUS is that you have to be better than your coursemate. It is a dog fight. Nope. Since we're in NUS, we're lions. It is a lion fight. We're all trained to be fighters in this arena which we call school. Some of us when the Scar's way of backstabbing and manipulation to great but infamous. Some of us went on the road of Mufasa of honour and greatness. Many of us got tired eventually after a few years of fighting and just got used to being a loser. We licked our wounds and comforted ourselves. Eventually, we got tamed as we know that we're gonna lose anyway and simply put up a less than full fight.

Thing is... I still have the fight in me. I know that i'm a very distracted lion but same as when i play squash, i am gonna make the alpha lions pay a price for stepping on me. Bowing without a full fight will be a thing of the past now that this is my last year. It is my last chance.

Just because i don't roar much doesn't mean i don't know how to. So yes... I am inspired. I will work harder. =)

I am so pissed totally today. My iphone 4 is here and i can't collect it. Damned! I lodged a complaint against hello! taka shop. End of story. They better give me a good explaination and they better take me seriously.

*breath...*

I'm leading tml's lesson. I hope i'll do a good job. I paused Grey's when i prepared for the lesson. I prayed for wisdom and guidance before i started. I realise i have 3 bibles. One from BB. One from my baptism. Last study bible from my DG. Only 2 are in use now. 2 red ones. The BB one and the Lutheran Study Bible. I realised i liked my bibles red.

In this merciless world, a Saviour came into the world. He came so that in these times of trouble, we can hide under His wings and that with Him, everything will be alright. Grace and mercy be unto all who comes to Him.

Amen...