感同身受~
Thursday, January 27, 2011/ 10:16 PM
以前听了很伤感的歌都回忍不住想起一些不该想的记忆，但是总有一部分歌词没有很搭我的故事。直到我听到这首歌，真的有那么一首歌会让我那么的感同身受。歌词很简单，但真的直达我内心深处。。。
There's really a song that is totally voice out my feelings and stories. Tears drop when I first listen to it.
Sorry That I Loved You by Anthony 倪安東
For all of the time that I tried for your smile
For making you think I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
that no one was there to take a stand
but the love love love made us blind
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it alright
so sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I held you tight
and I'm sorry for making you love me and saying goodbye
for being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
for giving you every thing that you dreamed
for taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love for wasting your time
an apology now after all of this time
won't make any difference tonight
but I'm hoping I'm sorry will open your mind
to love love love in your life
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
I'm sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I hurt you
I'm so sorry that I loved you
i'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I loved you
Labels: Musics
就快发疯~
Friday, November 19, 2010/ 10:11 PM
已经冰封快一个月的部落格，今晚终于从冰箱取出了。。真的太忙太忙了。。。好累好累。
要这样忙吗？就是要！！上个post是在刚开学的时候写的，现在已经 week5 了。这5个星期好像真的过的很快，是超快！在week1，老师就已经跟我们讲解这个Semester的assignment。令我们很惊讶的是在week2就要交第一个assignment了！跟我foundation 的short semester一样，我还是问了同一个问题：“发生什么事？！”然后就满头问号去。加上更可怕的是每个星期都要交一个，我简直无言以对。。。
Broadcasting II是我这个semester唯一有算GPA的一课,所以就有最多assignment的一课。第一个是Storyboard，设计一个30秒的TVC(TV Commercials) 或PSA(Public Service Announcement)，然后拍下12张照片，大概地连接成一个广告。我们做了一个环保的PSA。故事就说一位女学生把她一张不要的纸张乱丢。结果那张很有“生命力”的纸张就很戏剧化地弹来弹去，弹回那个女生的头上。然后那个女生就捡起那张纸，打开一看！上面竟然写着：“Recycle me please!"。老师说我们的概念很好，可以再整理一下，拍成短片去参赛。=)
第二个assignment是Still-o-matic。它是一连串的照片，做成slide show, 加上音乐，就是这样简单。我们的主题是Adoration，温馨。但。。。我也不懂要怎样解释我们的成果。 第三个是5-shot。5个take的短片，减成30秒。不如你们就去看吧，看了在给我点意见。
至于我刚刚忙到就快崩溃的是下个星期去拍摄的5分钟短片。我是写剧本的，scriptwriter.最忙的时候就是拍摄前，得写好剧本。摄影机移动，角度，镜头都需要一个一个shot好好写清楚。加上每个shot的时间（以秒算），演员对白。写到我快疯了！！难的我星期三跟星期四都放假，我竟然不能去玩，得呆在电脑前赶完这份剧本。很累。。我一直都很尊敬每个production和event的幕后工作人员，现在我更了解剧本有多难写！我这5分钟的短片也要一个多星期来写，写了又改，改了再写，连续盖了3次，才有最后一份。我真的不能想象电影跟电视剧要这么写，要多久时间。。
另外，我这个Semester也拿了法文。法文是最难学的语文之一，虽是跟英文一样有ABC，但真的很难记它的词汇！以下是一些非常简单的句子：
1. Bonjour! 早安
2. Comment tu t'appelles? 你叫什么名？
3. Je m'appelle Stanley. 我的名字是Stanley。
4. Comment allez vous? / Tu vas bien? / ça va? 你好吗？
5. Je vais bien / ça va bien 我很好。
需要在加倍努力啦。因为我还记不到这些词汇。
这个short semester 只有一个字，“赶”！还没赶完一个，又要忙下一个。这个星期我在赶2份assignment，一个考试，一个quiz。下个星期要赶2分assignment,一个星期的拍摄。到了week7，我真的就会像一个僵尸。Equation 会是,
景辉 + 比熊猫更黑的黑眼圈 + 装得下5角的眼袋 - 几公斤的肉 - 很多个小时的睡眠 = 僵尸
但有另一个equation，
僵尸 + 忙得开心 + 满足感 + 更有才华 + 更有梦想 + 很棒的伙伴 = 更有充实的景辉
所以其实有平衡到啦~哈哈！！
Labels: Life
寂寞，孤单，一个人。。。
Friday, October 22, 2010/ 9:12 PM
“一个人 眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面 那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞越
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被宝贝 因为有限”
“一个人
到底应该选右边或左边
两个人
每一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人
偶尔感到寂寞在所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边
一个人
我重新适应一切不方便
两个人
不一定就成全一个世界
一个人
关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线
过去那些情节更明显”
上面两首歌的歌词，包括了郭静的《心墙》和蔡一林的《一个人》，当中“一个人”的意境有蛮大的出入。
一个人有很可怕吗？一个人有很孤单吗？一个人有很寂寞吗？
现在在空闲的时候，我都回一个人到戏院去看电影。很多人会嘲笑我好孤单，孤僻。可能吧。但我却爱上一个人去看电影哦。会有那么一点尴尬啦，尤其遇见认识的人，但其实还蛮享受的啊~去排队买票，减少了买不到票的担心。（曾经有一次我去看Inception,排了好久，Selling Fast的字已盏了好久。结果就快轮到我的时候，只剩最后一张票！很庆幸最后一张票也落在我手上！）另一个好处就是我要看哪一部电影就看哪一部，免掉了迁就。（当然，我没说我不喜欢迁就。）所以其实还蛮不错的啊~ （插曲：电影院存在了一个没很完美但却很深刻的影像。但影像中的主角却没再继续寻找完美了。）
还有在上个学期末，因为我的housemates该回家的都回家去，该工作的也工作去，所以我都自己去吃。可能是我敏感或心理因素，别人投射在我身上的眼神透露了：“好可怜的孩子，没朋友吗？”有！但我想说，吃一餐而已嘛，不要麻烦叫我朋友跟我一起去吃。同样的回又那么一点不自在，但其实都还好。
是习惯了一个人吗？童年也没什么阴影啊。怕相处？都还好啊。我也很享受跟朋友谈天，逛街啊。是怎么了？空档太久？？。。。没意见，可能吧。。。
很多人问我，“没有对象吗？”。说真的，真的没有！像我常说的，I'm not ready for any relationship yet.我还没准备去谈恋爱。我人很现实，没钱=不能恋爱。很多女生可能会生气了！“你是在说女生都谈钱不谈感情吗？！”且慢，让我说完。。说实在，谁谈恋爱不用钱？吃饭，看电影，逛街，无论女生有多么体贴男生的钱包，男生总会需要点面子。就算这些都是美国式，手机简讯，通电也要钱吧？！一旦谈恋爱手机用量就会大幅度提升，没有人会否认吧？那现在我用的钱都是家人给我的，我自己也不够用，更别说要在加多一人份。这么说来，那不是我家人帮我谈恋爱？荒唐！！但庆幸的是，直到现在我的眼也没看上谁，我的心也没倾像谁。所以就。。。随缘吧。该来的时候没有谁能阻挡，同样还没到的时候也没有谁能强求。
刚刚有朋友向我诉苦。不禁让我起了一个疑问。感情，究竟让人开心，还是让人烦恼的东西？而那些烦恼永远都得不到一个真正的解答，然后就带来让人遗憾的事了。这可能也是为什么我会选择单身的理由。
最近我在面子书读了一篇文章，文章内容是关于单身的。哇！真的到我内心深处去了！
当中有几段我是特别喜欢的。
“毕竟谈恋爱就得多多少少花钱，而钱全是父母给的生活费，你都还不会赚钱，没有自己的事业，凭什么可以乱花钱呢？从某种意义上讲，是父母在帮你谈恋爱，一点都没有靠自己的力量去追求自己的所爱。 ”
“爱情晚点来，就不会走得太早zao。我们并不需要靠失恋来成熟。”
"网上的“爱你，为你做这些事”看起来很感人，因为大部分人都不是这种爱情。爱情不是一种潮流，你要有自己的看法，在你的理想恋人未出现时，你要有毅力选择一直单身，而不是找个替代品。"
"单身并没有什么不好，你一样可以关心你喜欢的人，这样可以让大众觉得你是一个很好的朋友"
同样的问题。一个人有很可怕吗？一个人有很孤单吗？一个人有很寂寞吗？其实见仁见智吧。不同角度看会有不同的观点。但其实，有个伴也蛮不错的。在我很压力的时候，很想有另外一半守候在我身旁，倾听我。可惜，在上次我倍感压力的时候，却是我一个人走出来的。。。
Labels: Life
Light Speed!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010/ 9:29 PM
Wow! Time really passed so fast! My lovely and the very 1st semester break of my degree life was that finished. After the most stress examination I ever had, of course I did appreciate my semester break. The main aim of this semester break is to say goodbye to my stress and welcome back my happiness! And for sure, I succeed! I found back my laughter, I got back my smile, I put down my stress.
Honestly, I'm a super easily satisfied person. What make me smile? A simple joke from friends. A variety TV show. An amusing words from radio announcer. Yet no doubt, what I really wan and need is REST. I had enough rest this semester break. I sleep when I felt like want to sleep and I woke up when I felt like want to woke up. That's simple and easy enough to make me smile and happy. Isn't that?
You can describe me as a boring person. Erm.... Yes, I am. I stay at home eat and sleep, watch TV, listen to radio and I feel happy! And I realize that I didn't mention the word 'boring' during the break. By that, it shows I enjoy loneliness and boredom. Uhummm.... I mean, sometimes.
Of course I'm not staying at home for my entire holiday. I drive my mum to Menglembu, where my aunt and family are staying, about trice a week. Yup, is trice. 3 times a week. I didn't complain. Because I appreciate the chance to fetch my mum anywhere as I have the ability to do so. Why not? However, I always ask my mum and dad, ' Why don't you buy the newly built houses near Lai Yi there?' (Lai Yi, pronunciation of what I call my aunt or simplified, my aunt's name.) I have no idea since when my mum and my aunt have such a good relationship, not only visiting her trice a week, but I always received my aunt's call through home line and mobile, almost..........5 or 6 times per day??? I wonder where does their topic came from! At Menglembu, while my mum were busy chit-chatting with my aunt, my cousin, my aunt's daughter will went out somewhere else to spend up our time. Shopping at Ipoh Parade, having meal at Station 1 cafe, enjoying ice blended when the sun was bloody hot. Haha!!
These are the ice blended. Peanut flavor (upper left corner), green tea flavor (upper right corner), and corn flavor (bottom). Very nice man!!
What I ordered was the green tea flavor ice blended. Mama mia!!
Enjoying my meal at Station 1 cafe at Buntong branch.
Other than that, I went to KL for a 3 days 2 nights trip also. I mean KL, not PJ. Staying at my friends house with another friend, and add on one more friend on the second night. Sum up 4 of us. Ha! Nothing much, like having a relax vacation there as the schedule was not packed fully. What so special was, the 1st time I went to I-City. A freaking beautiful place full of colourful light and decoration!! Erm, but I wonder is it eco-friendly? all kinds of trees, animals are made up of all the bulbs, which I think are LED bulbs. So, so, so, so romantic and picturesque place!
And also, we went to place where this is the very 1st time I went to this kind of places. Erm. Not that good to expose here. Honestly, I enjoyed being there and I had fun!! Though my action didn't show that, But I did enjoyed!! Trust me all my friends that were with me that night! However, after all I felt like dying under the bridge!! Oh gosh. Damn ugly and 'fish' scene which I'll never forget for my entire life. There go my 1st time being a physically drxxk person, sitting under the bridge and vomit without took care of my self-image. Thanks for those who took care of me that night. haha!! Aiyer!! Damn ugly wei!! (No photo showing for this session as the photo that lies under the "Umum" category were not with me, and ugly scenes after that are not suitable for all people.) By the way, please don't think aside after reading this session, as it totally has no relation with sex. Don't suddenly personal message me and ask me about your misunderstanding. Thanks~
There goes my holiday. It's a new semester now. Similar with the previous semester, assignments are running to me again. So.. Gambate la!
Ya, about my previous semester result, surprisingly I got a not-so-bad result which is totally out of expectation. Yet, I'm still aiming for a higher gpa this sem to boost up my cgpa. Work harder Stanley! I know I can do it!!
(It's a damn long post!) haha!
Labels: Life
World War III That Last for 15 days~
Tuesday, September 28, 2010/ 11:16 AM
I've been long time didn't write my blog using English. So.. This post I decided to use English la.
Wow.. When you notice the title of this post, World War III?? When the hxll is World War III?? Something wrong with me is it?? Erm.. Nothing wrong with me actually. It does exist WWIII. It is actually during 13th of Sep 2010 and it ended on 27th of Sep. IT'S OUR EXAM!!! Oh my god. Why is it used up so long time to have exam and there's only 5 papers? I have no idea. It make us feel so stress and pressure, some more they extended our stress period. It made us lost our laughter few weeks before the exam and also during the exam period. While other UTAR students already having their semester break, we are still in the war! Near the end of the period, most of us were really so tired with it and already lost our spirit to fight.... However, today is 28th of Sep and WE WON AGAINST THE STRESS AND TIME!!! All future broadcasters, We deserve a big clap!!!
For the last day of the semester, besides having our last paper-broadcasting, which was kinda tough I would say, my gang of friends and I went to 1U to have a nice meal to reward ourselves!! We went to Sushi Zanmai to have a nice meal~~ haha!! The food there is quite nice actually. And we find back our laughter.. Kept laughing throughout the meal. Though it just kinda short time, but we had lots of fun!! Miss you guys la~ (Photos please visit
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=42772&id=100000100086598&ref=mf )
Finally can go home already. I mean again. Feel so happy right after I came out from the exam hall. Happy packing yesterday. Happy waiting at McD now. Erm...... I mean I'm at McD again right now. Hahaha!! I contribute quite a lot to McD since I came PJ to study. I know it is not healthy, high cholestrol, high fat percentage, high preservatives..... But I just like it. Had 2 pieces of Hotcakes, 1 piece of hash brown and 1 cup of tea, and again it started up my beautiful day!! I feel so excited and free now~~ hmmmmm...... It will be also a pretty starting point for my sem break!! I'm Lovin' It!!!! Balaba baba~~ ( I'm not advertising McD here by the way.) And for today, right here is not that happening compare to the last time I was here.) It's weekday. Some more I can buy a economic class KTM ticket just now with a student price!! RM8 only.. hahaha!!
Alright, my semester break is now officially began!! All my classmates and UTARian, Happy holiday! Enjoy your holiday fully before 18th of October comes!! Miss my classmates~ And everything, everyone in Kampar, I'm Coming Back!!!!! Woohooooooooooo~~~~
Labels: Life
McD 里的三小时~
Friday, September 17, 2010/ 4:00 PM
我人现在在KL Central的McD。我待会儿6点就搭火车回家了！！现在时间是3.05pm。为什么我那么早来，要等个3小时？？其实我是故意的。不是我怕miss掉火车，也不时因为我怕下雨，我是故意的。只因我不想再自己一个人呆在家里。早点出来上网也好（虽然我电脑的wireless不是操作得很理想），早点出来读书也好，总之我不想一个人再呆在家。。
刚吃了个Mc Chicken 套餐。很饱。。吃完后就东张西望。
看见一个老aunty穿着红色+白色波波的上衣，重点是她竟然一把年纪了还帮着两条辫子！什么事啊？？不过我没有鄙视她老的意思，我倒觉得每个人都有他自己的风格，她敢这么绑，证明她心境还年轻。佩服！！
看见一个马来小女孩，吃Sundae cone 迟到满嘴都是。真的是满嘴都是！想搽上了白色唇膏一样，但也搽得太厚了点啦。哈哈！！！好天真无邪~令我想起以前的我也时常吃冰淇淋。（当然没有那么邋遢啦！）。光阴似箭。。我都接近20岁了！已不能活在天真无邪的童话里了。。不想长大！我不想长大！但有谁真的不会长大呢？？
看见一个马来少年，外貌没什么特别，但一开口就吓着我！他的声音比女生更女生。超高音，再带有点沙哑。他的笑声。。。哇！！好吓人！！好奇怪~
刚刚也跟我妈通了电话。跟她说我待会儿上火车，也问她是否有煮饭，有煲汤。我嘴角不经意带了一丝微笑，今晚有饭吃，也有汤喝~~然后不知为什么，有种鼻酸酸的感觉。。来了PJ三四个月，虽然我回家的次数还蛮频密，但这次我真的第一次有想家的感觉。好像回家！！为什么会这样？！我何时变得那么脆弱？！可能有那么大摧毁力，能摧毁我坚强的心的，就是考试。。这次考试真的有够大压力！！令我两个星期都挤不出一丁点笑容！令原本习惯一个人的我，不断想找个精神支柱！令一向算乐观的我，变得无比悲观！也令我很想回家躲避！到底什么事？！
可能我对自己抱太大期望，给自己太大压力！我终于找到我有兴趣的一科，所以我一定要读好，将来能加入我一直梦寐以求的公司。反而我身边的人，包括我家人也没有给压力我。只是所有事情都是我自己逼自己。我不想自己变得那么脆弱！我想笑！我要快乐！可以吗？？？有难吗？！
Labels: Life
书包太重~
Wednesday, September 15, 2010/ 8:35 PM
在人群当中，我只不过是个路人甲。看见别人有说有笑，我却只有自己的陪伴。平日我都习惯一个人，怎么突然觉得一个人是多么的可怕，寂寞，无助。。听了一通电话，电话的另一边是我朋友的一番诉苦。我当然替她担心，但有谁会来了解我，担心我，倾听我，安慰我？？
肩膀上的书包太重，压得我不再有动力向前走。
原本以为我就快遇见梦想，我却就快负荷不了。
一向坚强的我，就快忍不住崩溃了！
一向快乐的我，也找不回原本在脸上的笑容。
有多久没真正笑过？有多久没从心笑出来？？我也不晓得。。
原来平日的笑声是多么的难找。。。
我也不记得有多久没有不开心了，我也不想有不开心。。
突然，蔡健雅的《双栖动物》的副歌歌词浮现在脑里。。
“很想哭，哭完无助，我无法和我一个人相处。。。
就算哭，也一样没帮助，我被困在一个人的峡谷，多想要却又不得你安抚。
眼前是什么路？？已看不清楚。。。”
有多久没哭？？我不喜欢哭。但我真的很想解脱，很想哭。。。
累了，不行了，崩溃了。。。
Hebe《寂寞寂寞就好》的一段歌词，是我对自己说过的一番话。
“对这镜子我承诺，迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容”
迟早是什么时候？？我不晓得。。
离梦想越是靠近，前方的路就越是难走。
路是我自己选，埋怨不了谁。
但我真的不知道，我能走多远。。。能坚持多久。。。
（大部分文字是我今天在KL Central等火车的时候写的。）
Labels: Life
Simple figures yet so complicated~
And also, we went to place where this is the very 1st time I went to this kind of places. Erm. Not that good to expose here. Honestly, I enjoyed being there and I had fun!! Though my action didn't show that, But I did enjoyed!! Trust me all my friends that were with me that night! However, after all I felt like dying under the bridge!! Oh gosh. Damn ugly and 'fish' scene which I'll never forget for my entire life. There go my 1st time being a physically drxxk person, sitting under the bridge and vomit without took care of my self-image. Thanks for those who took care of me that night. haha!! Aiyer!! Damn ugly wei!! (No photo showing for this session as the photo that lies under the "Umum" category were not with me, and ugly scenes after that are not suitable for all people.) By the way, please don't think aside after reading this session, as it totally has no relation with sex. Don't suddenly personal message me and ask me about your misunderstanding. Thanks~