As soon as I typed "ANOTHER AULD LANG SYNE," a little bell went off in my head. Sure enough, I checked back and it was what I used for the title of my post for January 1, 2007. Oh well, I want it to be the title now, too. Because I really, really loved most of Dan Fogelberg's music and he just died of prostate cancer at the age of 56. As I was out running an errand earlier, I heard "Heart Hotels" on the radio (Well, there's too many windows in this old hotel, and rooms filled with reckless pride...Gonna pull in the shutters on this heart of mine...). I don't care what anyone says, it is my opinion that the 1980s were a great time for music!
New Year's Eve. What was your best New Year's Eve...what did you do and who did you do it with? Other than all of my married New Year's Eves which, naturally, were good--but usually fairly quiet--my best one was either 1983 into 84, or 84-85. There was a huge riverfront complex just on the other side of the Mississippi River from downtown Minneapolis--at that time it was just called St. Anthony Main--there were lots of specialty shops, good restaurants, bars, a movie theater and just all kinds of things all in one spot. If I'm remembering right, it is the oldest street in the state, going back to the late 1800s and right by the old Pillsbury flour mill. That New Year's Eve they were having a "family night" with sleigh rides, ice skating, fireworks and everything in the complex was open. I went with Linda, who had been my roommate for the one year I had a roommate (when I moved because "the rent was too high") and Ronelle, who had been a friend of Linda's that also became my friend (and, to this day, I miss her). We had the best time! At that time there were restaurants such as GuadalaHarry's (get it? Guadalajara?) that had wonderful margaritas, Winfield Potter's and Pracna-on-Main. There were lots of places to get coffee and hot chocolate and, although I don't know exactly where it all came from, lots of bottles of champagne going around. It was a beautiful winter night that either 1) must not have been TOO cold, or 2) we made sure our personal anti-freeze was topped off. It had to have just been nice because there were tons of kids around, too--families all out having fun. What made it so wonderful is that here there were people of all ages, from all over the Twin Cities, and it was just a GOOD TIME BEING HAD BY ALL. We were all over the place and nobody was getting rowdy or out-of-hand. The fireworks were leading up to midnight and there were crowds and crowds and crowds out in the street with noisemakers and champagne and everyone was hugging everyone else who happened to be in hugging distance, and it was a lot of fun.
Bill and I started out celebrating New Year's Eve with going out for dinner; the first year that's what we did. We went to a place that is just down the street from my now-favorite movie theater that has free-popcorn Tuesdays. At the time I think it was still being called Durnings, or else it had already changed to The Cherokee Sirloin Room--can't remember. Since my year of living with Linda the roommate was in Eagan, we used to go there for dinner and/or drinks quite a bit--especially the free dinner on your birthday--and Bill and I had also gone to dinner there several times and it was pretty nice, and the food was good. New Year's Eve, though, was TERRIBLE. In an effort to maximize the number of people that could be seated at any given time, they had pushed the tables VERY close together along the banquettes, so it felt like you were dining with about 50 of your favorite couple friends that you didn't know you had. And with only a limited menu which didn't even feature what I wanted for dinner. I swear, that was the beginning of my little claustrophobia problem and not liking being crowded by lots of people! We learned a lesson and for the next few years, went out for dinner earlier--huge improvement. Then there were the years that we spent New Year's Eve with Dar and John--having dinner at their house and staying in and watching movies--but after the second year in a row of me getting the crud WHILE WE WERE THERE, we started just staying home and watching movies and having hors d'oeuvres. And never making it all the way to midnight!!!
Tonight I'm going to watch some movies and finish my book "Summer at Tiffany" which is a charming little true tale of two Iowa college girls who hop on a train to New York and get jobs at Tiffany's for a summer during World War II. And eat shrimp cocktail, which will make me very, very popular with Frank and Nancy. I'll take it, even though I know they're really more interested in the shrimp than they are in me.
And look forward to tomorrow, and 2008...
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
LOFTY GOALS AND/OR RESOLUTIONS, SECOND TRY...
I had about 75% of a post all typed out when I over-estimated my doing-fancy-stuff-on-my-blog abilities and saw no way out other than to delete the whole thing. So, here's my second try. Well, damn, at least I tried the first time around :)! And if Blogger would get with the program and provide some decent, easy-to-use emoticons, it would be helpful--because I do love emoticons, and exclamation points. I would imagine some of you have noticed. NO SHIT, SHAMUS! (Thanks for that saying, Claudia--I think it is very funny, so I pirated it straight off of your post. I did not think you'd mind because I figured you would see it as the honor it is..hehehe).
Gosh, I said some really enlightened stuff in my First Try, too. About how much I liked 2007 because it was the first year since Bill died that I started feeling evenly remotely like myself, which is why I'm even able to make any goals/resolutions for 2008. I feel much more hopeful than I have in a long time. And I feel like I've gotten some of my clarity and perspective back. There is much more laughter and happiness in my life than there is tears and sadness. And when there IS tears and sadness, IT IS OKAY AND IF THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL, THEN THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL. As always happens, the sadness will pass...as long as I allow myself to feel what I feel. What does NOT work for me is trying to ignore feelings and emotions. While I may find it to be an admirable trait in others, I am just not a person who is a successful control freak when it comes to emotions. JUST.DOES.NOT.WORK.FOR.ME. It is not good for me to stuff them down and it is not good for me to even try, even though it may make other people uncomfortable for me not to try. They will need to learn to deal, because I will no longer try to do something that so obviously DOESN'T work for me--just to make other people feel more comfortable. Better for others to feel a little discomfort if it keeps me from having horrid stomach problems. Maybe I'd better just number my goals/resolutions first. So, in no particular order...
1) Get a workable hairstyle--for my hair, face and lack of desire to goof with my hair.
2) Take better care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally--all of those important "...ally" words.
3) Be a better listener, and really hear what people are telling me. And believe them from the beginning without having to learn the hard way, which is too painful.
4) In all things, keep perspective.
5) Take better care of my house.
6) Remember who and what to make a priority. Burn "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION" into my brain and never forget it.
7) Have an herb garden...even if it's just in a huge pot until I know what I'm doing.
8) Stop spending like a drunken sailor.
9) Hand-in-hand with #8, come up with a "workable" budget that will be good for the short term as well as the long term.
10) Consciously work on my attention span and lack of concentration problems. So I can read books and watch movies at home again without falling asleep and/or getting up and wandering around.
11) Find a way to get back to church and be as excited about it as I was in the first part of 2007.
12) Always, always, always trust my intuition and listen to what "that little voice" tells me.
13) Be accepting and supportive of those I care about.
So, it seems I'm gonna be pretty darn busy in 2008. And that doesn't even include anything about blogging which, to me, is a good part of my progress in 2007. As we are getting ready to put another year in the rearview mirror, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about how much y'all mean to me. Everybody, new friends as well as those who have been here since practically the beginning who take the time to leave me comments--well, you'll all never know just exactly how much it means to me. It's just been in the past couple of weeks that I've realized how very therapeutic having this blog is for me--how very much I love to write and how much I've missed it. I had no clue that doing something I love--maybe even doing it badly and, sometimes, very whining-ly(???)--would lead to finding such a fun, funny, nice, human bunch of non-judgmental, accepting blogger friends. People who are good to me, nice to me, and accepting of me no matter what my mood is. What I want you all to know is this--I am going to really, really try to pay that forward. That is what #13 is all about.
I think it's gonna be a great 2008...
Gosh, I said some really enlightened stuff in my First Try, too. About how much I liked 2007 because it was the first year since Bill died that I started feeling evenly remotely like myself, which is why I'm even able to make any goals/resolutions for 2008. I feel much more hopeful than I have in a long time. And I feel like I've gotten some of my clarity and perspective back. There is much more laughter and happiness in my life than there is tears and sadness. And when there IS tears and sadness, IT IS OKAY AND IF THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL, THEN THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL. As always happens, the sadness will pass...as long as I allow myself to feel what I feel. What does NOT work for me is trying to ignore feelings and emotions. While I may find it to be an admirable trait in others, I am just not a person who is a successful control freak when it comes to emotions. JUST.DOES.NOT.WORK.FOR.ME. It is not good for me to stuff them down and it is not good for me to even try, even though it may make other people uncomfortable for me not to try. They will need to learn to deal, because I will no longer try to do something that so obviously DOESN'T work for me--just to make other people feel more comfortable. Better for others to feel a little discomfort if it keeps me from having horrid stomach problems. Maybe I'd better just number my goals/resolutions first. So, in no particular order...
1) Get a workable hairstyle--for my hair, face and lack of desire to goof with my hair.
2) Take better care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally--all of those important "...ally" words.
3) Be a better listener, and really hear what people are telling me. And believe them from the beginning without having to learn the hard way, which is too painful.
4) In all things, keep perspective.
5) Take better care of my house.
6) Remember who and what to make a priority. Burn "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION" into my brain and never forget it.
7) Have an herb garden...even if it's just in a huge pot until I know what I'm doing.
8) Stop spending like a drunken sailor.
9) Hand-in-hand with #8, come up with a "workable" budget that will be good for the short term as well as the long term.
10) Consciously work on my attention span and lack of concentration problems. So I can read books and watch movies at home again without falling asleep and/or getting up and wandering around.
11) Find a way to get back to church and be as excited about it as I was in the first part of 2007.
12) Always, always, always trust my intuition and listen to what "that little voice" tells me.
13) Be accepting and supportive of those I care about.
So, it seems I'm gonna be pretty darn busy in 2008. And that doesn't even include anything about blogging which, to me, is a good part of my progress in 2007. As we are getting ready to put another year in the rearview mirror, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about how much y'all mean to me. Everybody, new friends as well as those who have been here since practically the beginning who take the time to leave me comments--well, you'll all never know just exactly how much it means to me. It's just been in the past couple of weeks that I've realized how very therapeutic having this blog is for me--how very much I love to write and how much I've missed it. I had no clue that doing something I love--maybe even doing it badly and, sometimes, very whining-ly(???)--would lead to finding such a fun, funny, nice, human bunch of non-judgmental, accepting blogger friends. People who are good to me, nice to me, and accepting of me no matter what my mood is. What I want you all to know is this--I am going to really, really try to pay that forward. That is what #13 is all about.
I think it's gonna be a great 2008...
Friday, December 28, 2007
DEFINITELY NOT INSPIRED...MAYBE A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF AN ENGAGEMENT?...
Mrs. Blah McBlahgerson reporting to write in her BLAHg. I was sitting at work today, wondering what I could write about that might be halfway interesting, and I GOT NOTHIN'. Nonetheless, here I am. And I just got the idea that maybe I should write about our engagement year...leading up to getting married. Well, almost a year of being engaged, not quite a year.
Like I said before, we got engaged very soon. We got together for the first time, again, for the first time the second time, on May 6, 1988 and we got engaged on June 28, 1988. It's hard to explain but even though it was fast, it was slow, too--ya know? When we got engaged, I didn't really even think about it in terms of getting married; I was a little befuddled, seeing as how I never thought I would be doing the things I was doing all of a sudden. What I was, was deliriously happy and like a teenager and like being in love for the first time. I was silly, I was happy, I was sleep-deprived. Really, we just did not sleep much at all!
We drove a lot. I had never been anywhere past Hennepin County hardly; I'd never been to Anoka, Blaine, North Minneapolis (and I don't want to go there anymore, either), Roseville, etc. Likewise, he'd never been to places like Medford, Owatonna, Blooming Prairie, Hector and Bird Island. Since we were working opposite shifts, anything we did during the week happened after midnight so mostly it was driving and talking, talking, talking, talking more and then some more. Mostly it was just so nice to be together. We used to talk about that, about how lucky we were to have ended up together, about how it was definitely meant to be and that God had everything to do with it. I know I was pretty giddy and he probably was, too, although he probably wouldn't have used that particular word :).
Weekends were a whole different story. Our first summer together, in 1988, it was HOT. Record-breaking heat, drought, yucky--so we spent a lot of time at the beach. Swimming is what I remember doing the very most--Bill and Tracy and I swimming at the beach at Medicine Lake, which I did not even know existed until that summer. And going to ValleyFair, and our trip to Wisconsin Dells, and ENDLESS TALKING and getting to know each other inside and out. We had so much fun. And in July, Bill's ex-mother-in-law passed away, which was very sad because I guess she was a very nice woman and, although I didn't like for him to be sad, I liked that he still cared about her and wasn't afraid to show it. That week he asked me to stay at his house so I could be with Tracy. Her mother was busy with arrangements and had asked if she could come to his house for the week, but with his night hours it would have been a little hard--so that's when Tracy and I really got to know each other, although we had gotten along good from the beginning. Todd, not so much. I loved him dearly, but at the same time I wanted to pinch his head off most of the time. 19. Enough said.
Kind of a funny thing. Even though we were engaged, and more and more of my stuff was arriving at his place--I wasn't--at least not to the point where I was ready to give up my apartment. I mean, I didn't know if I thought I was going to be keeping my apartment when we got married, or what--but I finally came to my senses once we set our wedding date. And I realized I was paying an awful lot for STORAGE...of not very much stuff that was left over there--plus I was air conditioning the place! Somewhere along the line, we had decided on April 28, 1989 as the day we were going to get married. Now we just had to get him to Arizona to meet my parents. Who already loved him because, well...he was marrying me. :) And after picking the date, I gave my notice at my apartment. October 1 I would officially be moving in with my future husband and, thus, giving up the world's most expensive storage unit.
In September, we went to Arizona to meet my parents, and then took a side trip to San Diego for a few days, too. It was such a fun trip; I still remember it in great detail. Our rental car was this HUGE Lincoln--the big boxy one--and we were staying at the Holiday Inn that was circular. You should have seen us going down the parking ramp! We joked that we needed a megaphone to talk to each other, but we had so much fun. October was more of the same--after I moved in, I was a little nervous. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop; now that I didn't have an "out", now that I had nowhere to go, was he going to turn into every other guy I'd ever known. The answer was no. Not then, and not ever. At least not to my knowledge.
November was great; I had jury duty for the first time in my life and we went on a dry run so we would know exactly where to go. Bill took me there in the morning, and then I caught the express bus home since he had to be at work before I got released in the afternoons. I actually enjoyed it, and we were finished in time for Thanksgiving. But it was really hard for me NOT to talk to him about it. Our first Christmas was just incredible! Bill, being a Vietnam Veteran, had always had a little bit of a melancholy mood at Christmas thinking about lost friends, Christmas Eve spent sitting in the airport after getting bumped to make room for a guy who was headed to the brig, and all that type of thing. But when I told him it was my favorite time of the year and he was going to have to enjoy it, too; he definitely rose to the occasion. And from that time on, Christmas was also his favorite time of the year. He would have been just fine with keeping all the decorations up all year long! Then we headed in to 1989.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but it had taken me a long time, relatively speaking, to be sure that I could trust him. But with our wedding date fast approaching, I had NO DOUBT whatsoever that I could--that I SHOULD--trust him. He wanted nothing but to please me and for me to be happy; he wanted to give me the world, and he wanted to be the best husband that he could be. He was the first one to admit that in his first marriage, he was not a great husband--but he had learned from that, and it was the difference between being a boy the first time around and being a man when we got married. The thing that I have always said is this--Bill adored me. And I adored him right back. Every day of my life, I felt cherished, I felt loved, I felt like a queen, and I felt like I was pretty much all that because, in his eyes, I was. It was the first time that someone took me just like I was, and LOVED me. I used to ask him what he would like for me to change or improve on; he never said anything. Because I was gaining weight and rapidly expanding--all of those late night trips to Byerly's after Bill got off work were taking their toll--I asked him about it. What he said was, "Are you happy? Because that is what matters." Yeah, I was very happy. And I just kept getting happier. It just kept getting better. Before we knew it, it was April. Our wedding month. EEEK!
But it was a really good EEEK...
Like I said before, we got engaged very soon. We got together for the first time, again, for the first time the second time, on May 6, 1988 and we got engaged on June 28, 1988. It's hard to explain but even though it was fast, it was slow, too--ya know? When we got engaged, I didn't really even think about it in terms of getting married; I was a little befuddled, seeing as how I never thought I would be doing the things I was doing all of a sudden. What I was, was deliriously happy and like a teenager and like being in love for the first time. I was silly, I was happy, I was sleep-deprived. Really, we just did not sleep much at all!
We drove a lot. I had never been anywhere past Hennepin County hardly; I'd never been to Anoka, Blaine, North Minneapolis (and I don't want to go there anymore, either), Roseville, etc. Likewise, he'd never been to places like Medford, Owatonna, Blooming Prairie, Hector and Bird Island. Since we were working opposite shifts, anything we did during the week happened after midnight so mostly it was driving and talking, talking, talking, talking more and then some more. Mostly it was just so nice to be together. We used to talk about that, about how lucky we were to have ended up together, about how it was definitely meant to be and that God had everything to do with it. I know I was pretty giddy and he probably was, too, although he probably wouldn't have used that particular word :).
Weekends were a whole different story. Our first summer together, in 1988, it was HOT. Record-breaking heat, drought, yucky--so we spent a lot of time at the beach. Swimming is what I remember doing the very most--Bill and Tracy and I swimming at the beach at Medicine Lake, which I did not even know existed until that summer. And going to ValleyFair, and our trip to Wisconsin Dells, and ENDLESS TALKING and getting to know each other inside and out. We had so much fun. And in July, Bill's ex-mother-in-law passed away, which was very sad because I guess she was a very nice woman and, although I didn't like for him to be sad, I liked that he still cared about her and wasn't afraid to show it. That week he asked me to stay at his house so I could be with Tracy. Her mother was busy with arrangements and had asked if she could come to his house for the week, but with his night hours it would have been a little hard--so that's when Tracy and I really got to know each other, although we had gotten along good from the beginning. Todd, not so much. I loved him dearly, but at the same time I wanted to pinch his head off most of the time. 19. Enough said.
Kind of a funny thing. Even though we were engaged, and more and more of my stuff was arriving at his place--I wasn't--at least not to the point where I was ready to give up my apartment. I mean, I didn't know if I thought I was going to be keeping my apartment when we got married, or what--but I finally came to my senses once we set our wedding date. And I realized I was paying an awful lot for STORAGE...of not very much stuff that was left over there--plus I was air conditioning the place! Somewhere along the line, we had decided on April 28, 1989 as the day we were going to get married. Now we just had to get him to Arizona to meet my parents. Who already loved him because, well...he was marrying me. :) And after picking the date, I gave my notice at my apartment. October 1 I would officially be moving in with my future husband and, thus, giving up the world's most expensive storage unit.
In September, we went to Arizona to meet my parents, and then took a side trip to San Diego for a few days, too. It was such a fun trip; I still remember it in great detail. Our rental car was this HUGE Lincoln--the big boxy one--and we were staying at the Holiday Inn that was circular. You should have seen us going down the parking ramp! We joked that we needed a megaphone to talk to each other, but we had so much fun. October was more of the same--after I moved in, I was a little nervous. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop; now that I didn't have an "out", now that I had nowhere to go, was he going to turn into every other guy I'd ever known. The answer was no. Not then, and not ever. At least not to my knowledge.
November was great; I had jury duty for the first time in my life and we went on a dry run so we would know exactly where to go. Bill took me there in the morning, and then I caught the express bus home since he had to be at work before I got released in the afternoons. I actually enjoyed it, and we were finished in time for Thanksgiving. But it was really hard for me NOT to talk to him about it. Our first Christmas was just incredible! Bill, being a Vietnam Veteran, had always had a little bit of a melancholy mood at Christmas thinking about lost friends, Christmas Eve spent sitting in the airport after getting bumped to make room for a guy who was headed to the brig, and all that type of thing. But when I told him it was my favorite time of the year and he was going to have to enjoy it, too; he definitely rose to the occasion. And from that time on, Christmas was also his favorite time of the year. He would have been just fine with keeping all the decorations up all year long! Then we headed in to 1989.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but it had taken me a long time, relatively speaking, to be sure that I could trust him. But with our wedding date fast approaching, I had NO DOUBT whatsoever that I could--that I SHOULD--trust him. He wanted nothing but to please me and for me to be happy; he wanted to give me the world, and he wanted to be the best husband that he could be. He was the first one to admit that in his first marriage, he was not a great husband--but he had learned from that, and it was the difference between being a boy the first time around and being a man when we got married. The thing that I have always said is this--Bill adored me. And I adored him right back. Every day of my life, I felt cherished, I felt loved, I felt like a queen, and I felt like I was pretty much all that because, in his eyes, I was. It was the first time that someone took me just like I was, and LOVED me. I used to ask him what he would like for me to change or improve on; he never said anything. Because I was gaining weight and rapidly expanding--all of those late night trips to Byerly's after Bill got off work were taking their toll--I asked him about it. What he said was, "Are you happy? Because that is what matters." Yeah, I was very happy. And I just kept getting happier. It just kept getting better. Before we knew it, it was April. Our wedding month. EEEK!
But it was a really good EEEK...
Thursday, December 27, 2007
SLIGHTLY LESS WIGGED OUT...
After sleeping on it...which could be why I woke up with a HUGE headache...I decided my blog stays just as it is. After all, it was here first. Well, and I also took a look at Wordpress. Which made my eyes glaze over within 3-1/2 seconds.
If it's who I think it is, well, I guess I just don't care. Whatever. It has nothing to do with me. There are always going to be nosy, snoopy people no matter what--and, although I don't understand why "they" would want to know what I think and write, that also doesn't register with me much. As I move through life, I find I understand less and less about more and more people. I truly think I know who it is, but I truly hope I'm wrong also. But "they" were back again this morning. So, as I said, whatever. This is the last I'm going to give it any of my time.
HUGE headache this morning! Necessitating taking a vacation day, and what a vacation day it was. I went back to sleep until after 9--after going to bed at 7:30 last night! Wow, if I'm this tired, I can't even imagine how bad it must be for people who actually lead a normal life. I'm so sorry for all of you :)! I spent the whole day being incredibly lazy and tired, but at least the headache eventually lessened quite a bit. And yet, I'm still looking forward to the weekend.
As far as I know, I don't have any plans or anything to do outside of my house. And, trust me, there is enough to do in here to keep me busy for 10 weekends. So it remains to be seen what I'll do and if I will have anything to write about. I sure am feeling pretty uninspired right now. Could ya tell?
Maybe I'll be more inspired tomorrow...
If it's who I think it is, well, I guess I just don't care. Whatever. It has nothing to do with me. There are always going to be nosy, snoopy people no matter what--and, although I don't understand why "they" would want to know what I think and write, that also doesn't register with me much. As I move through life, I find I understand less and less about more and more people. I truly think I know who it is, but I truly hope I'm wrong also. But "they" were back again this morning. So, as I said, whatever. This is the last I'm going to give it any of my time.
HUGE headache this morning! Necessitating taking a vacation day, and what a vacation day it was. I went back to sleep until after 9--after going to bed at 7:30 last night! Wow, if I'm this tired, I can't even imagine how bad it must be for people who actually lead a normal life. I'm so sorry for all of you :)! I spent the whole day being incredibly lazy and tired, but at least the headache eventually lessened quite a bit. And yet, I'm still looking forward to the weekend.
As far as I know, I don't have any plans or anything to do outside of my house. And, trust me, there is enough to do in here to keep me busy for 10 weekends. So it remains to be seen what I'll do and if I will have anything to write about. I sure am feeling pretty uninspired right now. Could ya tell?
Maybe I'll be more inspired tomorrow...
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
HELP, HELP---CALLING ALL BLOGGER/COMPUTER GENIUSES (GENIUSI?)...
I COULD JUST CRY; I REALLY COULD. Here's why.
This morning two words popped up on my site meter that I had hoped I would never see there. LAKEVILLE, MINNESOTA. Okay, two words and a comma. At 6:42, someone in Lakeville, who has frontiernet, was reading my blog. The reason I find this troubling is because there is not anyone currently living in Lakeville that is a part of my life right now. There was in the past, and there could be in the future. But now? Hellz no.
I'm well aware that I'm blogging on the INTERNET, and I'm not ashamed of anything I write, and it's not anything I wouldn't say out loud to a real person. And I don't mind that people lurk. Stranger lurkers are fine; I hope that someday maybe they'll leave a comment but if they're not comfortable doing that, I'd still want them to keep reading if they want. Likewise with people-who-know-me-and-like-me lurkers. Hey, read away; I'm glad you're here. Anything that sheds a little more light on the real me for people who like me already is good and, again, I would love for them to delurk. But if not, okay--reading in a way that is comfortable for you is more important. Although that is not why I originally started blogging--it never much even occurred to me that anyone would ever read any of this--I have to say, since it turned into what it is, I like it. It's the closest I will ever come to being published...hehehe...so the more the merrier.
That being said, what is a little bothersome to me is feeling like there is someone who-knows-me-and-DOESN'T-like-me spying in on what I write. If you have absolutely no interest in me in person, if I am not now and probably never was important to you, if I am so easy to write off...then why on earth would you want to read what I write. Except to be snoopy and nosy. And, while there isn't much I can do about it, I find it a little distasteful. Because, trust me, I'm not checking on you. To me, when it's done, it's DONE. And it's been done for a long time. If you are who I think you are. We probably figured out how to be "junior private detectives" together, so it's not like I'm clueless. So, either talk to me or stop it. Leave me a little comment or be gone with you. Because otherwise it's just creepy. And if you're some stranger from Lakeville, Minnesota who just happened onto my blog, you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Just know you could say hi, because I don't bite...at least not hard.
I really, really enjoy blogging. I like being able to talk about whatever I want, I like having people read, I like having debates, I like having conversations. And all of the people I have "met" both through Blogger and CB? The best; the absolute best. I would truly hate to not be able to write the way I want; in fact, I don't even know if I CAN write any other way. The things I say, the way I say it, if I exaggerate or if I play something down, or if I say something to stir the pot--it's the way I roll, says the immature me. And if somebody from my past is just being snoopy, well, then that makes me feel less free to write and say what I want. The part about I could just cry? This is where that comes in.
I really need this outlet; I really need this forum. I don't have anything else. This blog is NOT for my family. To my knowledge, my family doesn't know about this. And I don't want them to because then I wouldn't feel as free to say whatever I want. Luckily for me, they're just not that curious about me; in fact, I don't even think any of them know that I like to write, or that I used to do a lot of it in my younger years. One thing that I think is sort of universal is that, no matter the age-no matter the generation, there are just some things about the Mom (figure) that the kids don't really care to know. And that's okay. So I've never had to worry much about the kids and/or grandkids reading here. As for my Dad, even if he had the inclination or the sober-ness or whatever to read this, his extreme ADHD-ness wouldn't allow it. My two uncles? Nah, I'm barely on their radar. That's it for family.
This is precisely the type of thing that I'm talking about if and when I talk about being a "private" person. The few IRL friends that I have can ALWAYS ask me anything they want and I'll probably (hehe) answer; I don't always just blurt stuff out about myself without being asked because I have an overwhelming fear of blah-blah-blah'ing on about ME, ME, ME and boring people to death with stuff they don't even wanna know. But ask, and I shall tell you, probably (again with the hehe) in detail. HOWEVER, people that don't know me and/or don't like me...and people that I don't know and/or like...chances are any question other than "how are you today" will get answered with another question, like "why do you want to know." Which, I know, sounds kind of blunt and abrupt and rude and possibly is. But that comes from having people, in the past, ask me stuff and then use it against me in some way because they were jealous or didn't like me. That was when I was very young and trusting and didn't know that people would use stuff I said--stuff they asked me about--against me. That, in a nutshell, is where my problem with nosiness from people other than my friends comes from.
Thusly, I have an idea or two but I'm not sure if they are plausible, or would even work. That is where the blog/computer geniusi come in. I'd like to ask somebody who knows their way around a blog a little. Because the Blogger Help Forums are pretty much worthless except for the very basics. My opinion.
Other than that, life is very good here. Christmas was terrific, especially Christmas Eve. Yesterday was more about relaxing and eating a big dinner. Where Christmas Eve, on the other hand, was about talking and laughing and eating a big dinner. There was lots of eating of big dinners, snacks, cookies, several forms of chocolate, along with lots of good stuff with which to wash it all down. And there were presents, too! Nice ones! And back to work today...busy, busy, busy there. I stayed late for two hours and might have to do the same the rest of the week if I want to get anywhere near caught up. Makes me happy...NOT! HAHAHA! That means I'm gonna have to really bust my ass to get some plans so I CAN'T stay late...hehehe.
That's "me" for today...
This morning two words popped up on my site meter that I had hoped I would never see there. LAKEVILLE, MINNESOTA. Okay, two words and a comma. At 6:42, someone in Lakeville, who has frontiernet, was reading my blog. The reason I find this troubling is because there is not anyone currently living in Lakeville that is a part of my life right now. There was in the past, and there could be in the future. But now? Hellz no.
I'm well aware that I'm blogging on the INTERNET, and I'm not ashamed of anything I write, and it's not anything I wouldn't say out loud to a real person. And I don't mind that people lurk. Stranger lurkers are fine; I hope that someday maybe they'll leave a comment but if they're not comfortable doing that, I'd still want them to keep reading if they want. Likewise with people-who-know-me-and-like-me lurkers. Hey, read away; I'm glad you're here. Anything that sheds a little more light on the real me for people who like me already is good and, again, I would love for them to delurk. But if not, okay--reading in a way that is comfortable for you is more important. Although that is not why I originally started blogging--it never much even occurred to me that anyone would ever read any of this--I have to say, since it turned into what it is, I like it. It's the closest I will ever come to being published...hehehe...so the more the merrier.
That being said, what is a little bothersome to me is feeling like there is someone who-knows-me-and-DOESN'T-like-me spying in on what I write. If you have absolutely no interest in me in person, if I am not now and probably never was important to you, if I am so easy to write off...then why on earth would you want to read what I write. Except to be snoopy and nosy. And, while there isn't much I can do about it, I find it a little distasteful. Because, trust me, I'm not checking on you. To me, when it's done, it's DONE. And it's been done for a long time. If you are who I think you are. We probably figured out how to be "junior private detectives" together, so it's not like I'm clueless. So, either talk to me or stop it. Leave me a little comment or be gone with you. Because otherwise it's just creepy. And if you're some stranger from Lakeville, Minnesota who just happened onto my blog, you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Just know you could say hi, because I don't bite...at least not hard.
I really, really enjoy blogging. I like being able to talk about whatever I want, I like having people read, I like having debates, I like having conversations. And all of the people I have "met" both through Blogger and CB? The best; the absolute best. I would truly hate to not be able to write the way I want; in fact, I don't even know if I CAN write any other way. The things I say, the way I say it, if I exaggerate or if I play something down, or if I say something to stir the pot--it's the way I roll, says the immature me. And if somebody from my past is just being snoopy, well, then that makes me feel less free to write and say what I want. The part about I could just cry? This is where that comes in.
I really need this outlet; I really need this forum. I don't have anything else. This blog is NOT for my family. To my knowledge, my family doesn't know about this. And I don't want them to because then I wouldn't feel as free to say whatever I want. Luckily for me, they're just not that curious about me; in fact, I don't even think any of them know that I like to write, or that I used to do a lot of it in my younger years. One thing that I think is sort of universal is that, no matter the age-no matter the generation, there are just some things about the Mom (figure) that the kids don't really care to know. And that's okay. So I've never had to worry much about the kids and/or grandkids reading here. As for my Dad, even if he had the inclination or the sober-ness or whatever to read this, his extreme ADHD-ness wouldn't allow it. My two uncles? Nah, I'm barely on their radar. That's it for family.
This is precisely the type of thing that I'm talking about if and when I talk about being a "private" person. The few IRL friends that I have can ALWAYS ask me anything they want and I'll probably (hehe) answer; I don't always just blurt stuff out about myself without being asked because I have an overwhelming fear of blah-blah-blah'ing on about ME, ME, ME and boring people to death with stuff they don't even wanna know. But ask, and I shall tell you, probably (again with the hehe) in detail. HOWEVER, people that don't know me and/or don't like me...and people that I don't know and/or like...chances are any question other than "how are you today" will get answered with another question, like "why do you want to know." Which, I know, sounds kind of blunt and abrupt and rude and possibly is. But that comes from having people, in the past, ask me stuff and then use it against me in some way because they were jealous or didn't like me. That was when I was very young and trusting and didn't know that people would use stuff I said--stuff they asked me about--against me. That, in a nutshell, is where my problem with nosiness from people other than my friends comes from.
Thusly, I have an idea or two but I'm not sure if they are plausible, or would even work. That is where the blog/computer geniusi come in. I'd like to ask somebody who knows their way around a blog a little. Because the Blogger Help Forums are pretty much worthless except for the very basics. My opinion.
Other than that, life is very good here. Christmas was terrific, especially Christmas Eve. Yesterday was more about relaxing and eating a big dinner. Where Christmas Eve, on the other hand, was about talking and laughing and eating a big dinner. There was lots of eating of big dinners, snacks, cookies, several forms of chocolate, along with lots of good stuff with which to wash it all down. And there were presents, too! Nice ones! And back to work today...busy, busy, busy there. I stayed late for two hours and might have to do the same the rest of the week if I want to get anywhere near caught up. Makes me happy...NOT! HAHAHA! That means I'm gonna have to really bust my ass to get some plans so I CAN'T stay late...hehehe.
That's "me" for today...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
DECEMBER 23, PART TWO...
Because I won't be around home on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, I'll say a very, very "MERRY CHRISTMAS" now.
I just can't wait and, now, just because it's so darn cute...
I just can't wait and, now, just because it's so darn cute...
I'VE LEARNED THAT...
...IT IS THE WEAK WHO ARE CRUEL, AND THAT GENTLENESS IS TO BE EXPECTED ONLY FROM THE STRONG. ~Leo Rosten
It's December 23 already. Where did this time go. I'll be the first to admit, I usually feel a little bit of the post-Christmas letdown. A lot of times, when Christmas is over, people are really ready to wash their hands of it and carry on. Maybe it's because I don't do as much as other people, but I'd like to just keep right on going into January. I'm just lucky that I have a plethora of family birthdays in January; if it wasn't for them, it would be a very blah month. Besides these birthdays, I think we need to get something cookin' for January so as not to fall into a slump! I know, I know...easy for me to say, as I don't have nearly as much to do as the average person.
I really don't like NOT being like other people. Let me preface that by saying I've never really been like other people, and that was okay with me. Luckily for me, I was a tween/teen in a time when it was good to be your own person rather than blindly following the crowd. I remember specifically, 10th grade, as being a big time to "know yourself." I had just turned 15 (eeek, was I ever really only 15?) and one of my oh-so-enlightened friends who was already 16 said something about 16 pretty much being the magical age of "knowing yourself." Being newly 15, I didn't have any idea. All I really knew of 16 was that, to my Mom, it seemed like the magical age wherein she would never have to deal with an unwed teenage pregnancy, if she could just get me past the age of 16 unpregnant. At some point much later in my life, I think she was a little sorry about what she wished for as I continued to remain unpregnant with no plans to change it. But I digress...
I was never one to do a thing just because other people were doing it. I don't recall setting out to specifically be that way, I just was. Along these same lines, I was always a little bit of a person to embrace women's rights. Not because anybody was marching about it or because bras were being burned for it, or anything like that. I didn't really pay much attention to that part of things. There were just some things that did not make sense to me that turned out to be notions about women and men. For instance, how was it that a guy having sex with a lot of girls made him studly and to be revered, while if a girl had sex with whoever she wanted, it made her a slut. I didn't buy that one at all. To me, it seemed it either made them both "in demand" (since it's kinda hard for a female to be studly and I don't know the female equivalent), or it made them both sluts. Depending on the way you look at it. I also never bought into that thing that only "boys" could do certain things, like play baseball. In about 1969, as I sat there being the scorekeeper for the Little League teams my Dad coached, I knew that was wrong because I could play better than the biggest share of them. But I couldn't because girls couldn't play baseball then. Little League was only for boys, and there was no girl equivalent yet--at least not in the small town where I lived. Hell, I was lucky to be able to keep the stats, so at least I could be involved in some way. I will say this, though--it REALLY CHAPPED MY 12-YEAR-OLD FEMALE ASS that the retarded kid could play--he rode his bike around the outfield and sat down and picked dandelions!!!!--and he was ALWAYS on my Dad's team cause my Dad was really, really good with kids and was about the only one who could/would deal with the situation--BUT I COULDN'T. And I don't say "retarded kid" in any sort of disrespectful way--"mentally retarded" was just what it was, a fact, not with disrespect. I don't know who decided it was disrespectful, but I really doubt it much bothered the kid in the outfield. That's a whole other issue, though, and one I won't get into so soon after the great Christmas debate. BWAHAHAHAHA! So those were just a couple of ways that my mind naturally went towards women's rights. I just wanted to play baseball--and although it appears I just wanted to have sex with lots of different guys, that wasn't the case at all. At least not then. BWAHAHAHA, again. No really, I didn't do that kind of thing in high school. Not so much because "good girls didn't" (because good girls DID), but because I figured, with my luck and despite any best effort on my part, something would happen that would force me to stay there forever and ever, and I just didn't want that. Abstinance seemed the best route out of Dodge. So, it's easy to understand what I'm talking about when I say I wasn't concerned with being different.
Now, though, I am VERY different from most women my age. I don't have any previous-generation family members, and I miss them. I don't have my husband, and I miss him. I DO, thankfully, have grown children--but who are of an age that it isn't likely I will find anybody else my age who has "kids" of the same age as mine; the same with my nine grandkids. I don't know any other 51-year-olds with a 21-year-old grandson. AND DO NOT FOR ONE MOMENT THINK I AM NOT GRATEFUL BEYOND WORDS FOR THEM. You all know that, without them, I just don't have any idea--and I shudder to think--about what my life would be like. They are God-given gifts to me. But, ya know, I'd still like to be able to talk to my Mom about some things. There are just times when I feel a little sad about things that nobody can understand. Thankfully. Because I don't want anybody else to understand it, because that would mean they've gone through the same losses. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It just makes me different in a way that I wish I wasn't. Unfortunately, it's gotten so that I sometimes have some of these feelings around Christmastime. But it's STILL my favorite time of the year that I LOVE, even if there are a few little melancholy-for-those-I-miss feelings, too.
I want to make a Bill and Kim installment because that makes me feel good--and our engagement year leading up to our wedding and first years of marriage REALLY make me feel good, and perk me right up. Cause it's all there--fun, funny, happy, silly, resilience, tolerance, and so, so, so much love! You'll see.
It's snowing like crazy right now and it's VERY pretty. And because I've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
It's December 23 already. Where did this time go. I'll be the first to admit, I usually feel a little bit of the post-Christmas letdown. A lot of times, when Christmas is over, people are really ready to wash their hands of it and carry on. Maybe it's because I don't do as much as other people, but I'd like to just keep right on going into January. I'm just lucky that I have a plethora of family birthdays in January; if it wasn't for them, it would be a very blah month. Besides these birthdays, I think we need to get something cookin' for January so as not to fall into a slump! I know, I know...easy for me to say, as I don't have nearly as much to do as the average person.
I really don't like NOT being like other people. Let me preface that by saying I've never really been like other people, and that was okay with me. Luckily for me, I was a tween/teen in a time when it was good to be your own person rather than blindly following the crowd. I remember specifically, 10th grade, as being a big time to "know yourself." I had just turned 15 (eeek, was I ever really only 15?) and one of my oh-so-enlightened friends who was already 16 said something about 16 pretty much being the magical age of "knowing yourself." Being newly 15, I didn't have any idea. All I really knew of 16 was that, to my Mom, it seemed like the magical age wherein she would never have to deal with an unwed teenage pregnancy, if she could just get me past the age of 16 unpregnant. At some point much later in my life, I think she was a little sorry about what she wished for as I continued to remain unpregnant with no plans to change it. But I digress...
I was never one to do a thing just because other people were doing it. I don't recall setting out to specifically be that way, I just was. Along these same lines, I was always a little bit of a person to embrace women's rights. Not because anybody was marching about it or because bras were being burned for it, or anything like that. I didn't really pay much attention to that part of things. There were just some things that did not make sense to me that turned out to be notions about women and men. For instance, how was it that a guy having sex with a lot of girls made him studly and to be revered, while if a girl had sex with whoever she wanted, it made her a slut. I didn't buy that one at all. To me, it seemed it either made them both "in demand" (since it's kinda hard for a female to be studly and I don't know the female equivalent), or it made them both sluts. Depending on the way you look at it. I also never bought into that thing that only "boys" could do certain things, like play baseball. In about 1969, as I sat there being the scorekeeper for the Little League teams my Dad coached, I knew that was wrong because I could play better than the biggest share of them. But I couldn't because girls couldn't play baseball then. Little League was only for boys, and there was no girl equivalent yet--at least not in the small town where I lived. Hell, I was lucky to be able to keep the stats, so at least I could be involved in some way. I will say this, though--it REALLY CHAPPED MY 12-YEAR-OLD FEMALE ASS that the retarded kid could play--he rode his bike around the outfield and sat down and picked dandelions!!!!--and he was ALWAYS on my Dad's team cause my Dad was really, really good with kids and was about the only one who could/would deal with the situation--BUT I COULDN'T. And I don't say "retarded kid" in any sort of disrespectful way--"mentally retarded" was just what it was, a fact, not with disrespect. I don't know who decided it was disrespectful, but I really doubt it much bothered the kid in the outfield. That's a whole other issue, though, and one I won't get into so soon after the great Christmas debate. BWAHAHAHAHA! So those were just a couple of ways that my mind naturally went towards women's rights. I just wanted to play baseball--and although it appears I just wanted to have sex with lots of different guys, that wasn't the case at all. At least not then. BWAHAHAHA, again. No really, I didn't do that kind of thing in high school. Not so much because "good girls didn't" (because good girls DID), but because I figured, with my luck and despite any best effort on my part, something would happen that would force me to stay there forever and ever, and I just didn't want that. Abstinance seemed the best route out of Dodge. So, it's easy to understand what I'm talking about when I say I wasn't concerned with being different.
Now, though, I am VERY different from most women my age. I don't have any previous-generation family members, and I miss them. I don't have my husband, and I miss him. I DO, thankfully, have grown children--but who are of an age that it isn't likely I will find anybody else my age who has "kids" of the same age as mine; the same with my nine grandkids. I don't know any other 51-year-olds with a 21-year-old grandson. AND DO NOT FOR ONE MOMENT THINK I AM NOT GRATEFUL BEYOND WORDS FOR THEM. You all know that, without them, I just don't have any idea--and I shudder to think--about what my life would be like. They are God-given gifts to me. But, ya know, I'd still like to be able to talk to my Mom about some things. There are just times when I feel a little sad about things that nobody can understand. Thankfully. Because I don't want anybody else to understand it, because that would mean they've gone through the same losses. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It just makes me different in a way that I wish I wasn't. Unfortunately, it's gotten so that I sometimes have some of these feelings around Christmastime. But it's STILL my favorite time of the year that I LOVE, even if there are a few little melancholy-for-those-I-miss feelings, too.
I want to make a Bill and Kim installment because that makes me feel good--and our engagement year leading up to our wedding and first years of marriage REALLY make me feel good, and perk me right up. Cause it's all there--fun, funny, happy, silly, resilience, tolerance, and so, so, so much love! You'll see.
It's snowing like crazy right now and it's VERY pretty. And because I've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...
Saturday, December 22, 2007
LET THE FESTIVITIES BEGIN...
And I am so glad that I'm starting my own personal festivities by staying inside my warm, snug, little ice-free house! This is Minnesota--when I walked out my door at 2 a.m. to go to work, it was close to balmy outside. Very warm, puddles all over from melting snow dripping off the roof and, overall, very nice. So I'm working diligently when Tracy calls and says something about the weather being interesting. Sure enough, in the few hours I was at work and away from a window, it had: 1) gotten down to freezing, thus freezing all of the puddles, 2) a little sleet on top of that, and finally 3) a little dusting of snow on top of the whole mess.
I am really happy about this because the weather just saved me at least $100. I was going to stop at Target on my way home from work but decided since I wasn't stopping for anything I had to have, another day would work just as well. And I'm happy to be home, even though it wasn't really all that bad driving. Yes I know, I have an odd idea of what constitutes "festivities."
Yesterday Gayla and I met for lunch at Osaka, which is one of those Japanese seafood/steakhouses where they do the tableside cooking and whip the knives around and such, which we didn't get to do because there were only two of us. We ate there anyway and at least I got to see part of the show on my way to the bathroom. It was okay, but pretty unremarkable. I think it's one of those places where you have to get a whole group together and go so you can have the "experience" of the place. Unfortunately, I don't even know a whole group, much less one who wants to eat at a Japanese seafood/steakhouse so I guess I'm shit-outta-luck when it comes to seeing the knives get whipped around. Since they didn't seem to embrace the idea of relaxing for a bit after lunch, we went across the street to the Caribou for a cup of coffee and to finish our get-together. I had a nice time, but I was really glad when she needed to get going to her appointment in plenty of time for me to get to the theater in time to see "Juno."
I don't know exactly what is up with me and movies these days but, really, I could have just gone from one theater to the other at least four times. I love sitting in the dark theater by myself and just getting lost in the movie--without very many other people around. Besides better prices, that is why I really like to go to movies in the early afternoon; there usually aren't that many people there, and I like that. Now I just wish I could get back into watching movies at home...without losing interest and/or falling asleep. THAT would be ideal.
Speak of falling asleep, I think I will; festivities, indeed...
I am really happy about this because the weather just saved me at least $100. I was going to stop at Target on my way home from work but decided since I wasn't stopping for anything I had to have, another day would work just as well. And I'm happy to be home, even though it wasn't really all that bad driving. Yes I know, I have an odd idea of what constitutes "festivities."
Yesterday Gayla and I met for lunch at Osaka, which is one of those Japanese seafood/steakhouses where they do the tableside cooking and whip the knives around and such, which we didn't get to do because there were only two of us. We ate there anyway and at least I got to see part of the show on my way to the bathroom. It was okay, but pretty unremarkable. I think it's one of those places where you have to get a whole group together and go so you can have the "experience" of the place. Unfortunately, I don't even know a whole group, much less one who wants to eat at a Japanese seafood/steakhouse so I guess I'm shit-outta-luck when it comes to seeing the knives get whipped around. Since they didn't seem to embrace the idea of relaxing for a bit after lunch, we went across the street to the Caribou for a cup of coffee and to finish our get-together. I had a nice time, but I was really glad when she needed to get going to her appointment in plenty of time for me to get to the theater in time to see "Juno."
I don't know exactly what is up with me and movies these days but, really, I could have just gone from one theater to the other at least four times. I love sitting in the dark theater by myself and just getting lost in the movie--without very many other people around. Besides better prices, that is why I really like to go to movies in the early afternoon; there usually aren't that many people there, and I like that. Now I just wish I could get back into watching movies at home...without losing interest and/or falling asleep. THAT would be ideal.
Speak of falling asleep, I think I will; festivities, indeed...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
RAMBLING...
I just don't have a lot to write about, but I want to write anyway. Sometimes that's when the entry will take a quirky turn, and sometimes it just stays boring. This, I guess, is one of those times when I am writing just for me
All I really care to do right now is this: 1) if I am at work, listen to Christmas music, eat and do what must be done, and 2) if I am not at work, go to a movie--by myself--eat popcorn and do what must be done in the form of going home, and 3) if I am at home, sleep. What I don't care to do right now is this: 1) hear anymore controversy over calling Christmas, Christmas--it's Christmas, get the eff over it if you don't like it. And if you can't do that, then ignore it and go on about your way without whining about it. Since when does EVERYONE have to share EVERYTHING that hurts their little feelings. Sick of it; sick to death of it. If you're an atheist, fine--ignore it; if you're Jewish, fine--ignore it, and let's just agree that if you don't ask me to call Christmas something else, then I won't ask you to call your important holidays something else; if you're Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu and any others I may have missed, fine--ignore it; again , don't ask for it to NOT be called what it is and we won't call yours something else. Wanna hear something REALLY scandalous, and which makes me wonder how I made it to the age I am, having NEVER had therapy? In my elementary school years, we actually had a CHRISTMAS TREE in our classrooms, and had gift exchanges. And I will admit, on my part at least, when I was in first grade, it had everything to do with a good-smelling tree with pretty, bright, shiny lights and decorations and the presents beneath it, and very little to do with religion. By the same token, in 1962, if anyone was screeching about THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, I didn't hear it. Bright lights and presents, decorations, fun music, and presents. Seemed good to me--oh, and people being happy. But these days, if someone dares to be happy, it seems, they must be stopped. If you are not a malcontent, you really SHOULD be, darn it--because your happiness is going to be offensive to someone! Okay, there, with this one paragraph, I think I've probably pissed off or offended just about everybody. And if I missed anyone, just let me know and I'll think up something for you, too. This is what happens when I watch that damn network news. All I can say is, it must be a slow news week, again. Also, this IS what can happen when I don't have a particular subject in mind about which to blog. Oh, and what I also don't care to do right now is this: 2) get together with yet more people that I hardly EVER talk to and/or see. I think this is the last year I'm gonna do the "Christmas lunch with people I like okay but that are not any part of my life other than at said Christmas lunch." I mean, really, why do it; I don't see a whole lot of point to it anymore. I'm kinda picky in that if I'm going to be friends with someone, I kind of tend to be an all-or-nothing type. It just doesn't work for me to disappear until you want to trot me out; THAT makes me pissy. But I do it for a couple of people at Christmastime; in the spirit of the Christmas season, because I love Christmas. IF I don't watch network news. But this is the last year for that.
And I'm wondering this. Have you ever wondered why someone laughs so much? Apparently, I must laugh a lot. And there are some--who didn't appear to be malcontents--who also don't appear to find it enchanting. A few years back, a then-friend's young-teen daughter asked me why I'm always laughing--in a not-real-nice-way. But, come to think of it, she WAS a malcontent with no friends who had absolutely nothing to laugh about--and it was years ago. But then, recently it again came to my attention that somebody else was wondering why I laugh so much... this time it wasn't very long ago, and not from a maladjusted malcontent. I don't know what to think or even what to say. Should I really let people in on the fact that a lot of the time I am laughing over things that I think but don't say; should I let people in on the fact that there are also lots of times that I just find things really funny and so I laugh. I am a person who likes irony, who likes quirky humor, who likes it when people think outside the box. And so I laugh. I never thought it was that strange. But it isn't like these people said "ya know, I've noticed you laugh a lot and I find it enchanting and refreshing to be around someone who finds humor in situations rather than always acting as sad as a person who has lost their best friend--oh, even though you HAVE lost your best friend." Nope, I don't get the impression it's like that at all. It's more like, "what's up with ALL THAT STUPID LAUGHING." I guess that has been on my mind since the most recent laughing-status inquiry. This much I DO know, though--I don't plan to change my laughing plan anytime soon or for anybody. Because I happen to think I was bred to have some sweet laughing skills.
Today while I was at lunch, all I could think about was how I really wanted to go off and see "Alvin & The Chipmunks." I knew I wouldn't be able to make the 1:15 show, but the 2:10 was definitely DO-ABLE, until...at about 1:40 we had finished lunch and were getting ready to pay when Jan says "wanna have another cuppa coffee and talk for a while?" I just couldn't say "well, no, as a matter of fact, I want to sneak off by myself and see a kids' movie rather than sit and talk to you." So sit and talk and swill coffee is what I did...and left the place at 2:15. Grrrr. So, to make up for it, tomorrow--after the LAST CHRISTMAS LUNCH--I am going to see "Juno." I know I'll make it cause she has an appointment so we won't be able to linger much. And, then, if I feel like torturing myself at some point over the weekend, I may even try for "P.S. I Love You." Which I will definitely have to see alone because I'm pretty much sure crying will ensue.
And now I must watch Nick Lachey and Blake Shelton (makes kitty-purring noise) :)...
All I really care to do right now is this: 1) if I am at work, listen to Christmas music, eat and do what must be done, and 2) if I am not at work, go to a movie--by myself--eat popcorn and do what must be done in the form of going home, and 3) if I am at home, sleep. What I don't care to do right now is this: 1) hear anymore controversy over calling Christmas, Christmas--it's Christmas, get the eff over it if you don't like it. And if you can't do that, then ignore it and go on about your way without whining about it. Since when does EVERYONE have to share EVERYTHING that hurts their little feelings. Sick of it; sick to death of it. If you're an atheist, fine--ignore it; if you're Jewish, fine--ignore it, and let's just agree that if you don't ask me to call Christmas something else, then I won't ask you to call your important holidays something else; if you're Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu and any others I may have missed, fine--ignore it; again , don't ask for it to NOT be called what it is and we won't call yours something else. Wanna hear something REALLY scandalous, and which makes me wonder how I made it to the age I am, having NEVER had therapy? In my elementary school years, we actually had a CHRISTMAS TREE in our classrooms, and had gift exchanges. And I will admit, on my part at least, when I was in first grade, it had everything to do with a good-smelling tree with pretty, bright, shiny lights and decorations and the presents beneath it, and very little to do with religion. By the same token, in 1962, if anyone was screeching about THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, I didn't hear it. Bright lights and presents, decorations, fun music, and presents. Seemed good to me--oh, and people being happy. But these days, if someone dares to be happy, it seems, they must be stopped. If you are not a malcontent, you really SHOULD be, darn it--because your happiness is going to be offensive to someone! Okay, there, with this one paragraph, I think I've probably pissed off or offended just about everybody. And if I missed anyone, just let me know and I'll think up something for you, too. This is what happens when I watch that damn network news. All I can say is, it must be a slow news week, again. Also, this IS what can happen when I don't have a particular subject in mind about which to blog. Oh, and what I also don't care to do right now is this: 2) get together with yet more people that I hardly EVER talk to and/or see. I think this is the last year I'm gonna do the "Christmas lunch with people I like okay but that are not any part of my life other than at said Christmas lunch." I mean, really, why do it; I don't see a whole lot of point to it anymore. I'm kinda picky in that if I'm going to be friends with someone, I kind of tend to be an all-or-nothing type. It just doesn't work for me to disappear until you want to trot me out; THAT makes me pissy. But I do it for a couple of people at Christmastime; in the spirit of the Christmas season, because I love Christmas. IF I don't watch network news. But this is the last year for that.
And I'm wondering this. Have you ever wondered why someone laughs so much? Apparently, I must laugh a lot. And there are some--who didn't appear to be malcontents--who also don't appear to find it enchanting. A few years back, a then-friend's young-teen daughter asked me why I'm always laughing--in a not-real-nice-way. But, come to think of it, she WAS a malcontent with no friends who had absolutely nothing to laugh about--and it was years ago. But then, recently it again came to my attention that somebody else was wondering why I laugh so much... this time it wasn't very long ago, and not from a maladjusted malcontent. I don't know what to think or even what to say. Should I really let people in on the fact that a lot of the time I am laughing over things that I think but don't say; should I let people in on the fact that there are also lots of times that I just find things really funny and so I laugh. I am a person who likes irony, who likes quirky humor, who likes it when people think outside the box. And so I laugh. I never thought it was that strange. But it isn't like these people said "ya know, I've noticed you laugh a lot and I find it enchanting and refreshing to be around someone who finds humor in situations rather than always acting as sad as a person who has lost their best friend--oh, even though you HAVE lost your best friend." Nope, I don't get the impression it's like that at all. It's more like, "what's up with ALL THAT STUPID LAUGHING." I guess that has been on my mind since the most recent laughing-status inquiry. This much I DO know, though--I don't plan to change my laughing plan anytime soon or for anybody. Because I happen to think I was bred to have some sweet laughing skills.
Today while I was at lunch, all I could think about was how I really wanted to go off and see "Alvin & The Chipmunks." I knew I wouldn't be able to make the 1:15 show, but the 2:10 was definitely DO-ABLE, until...at about 1:40 we had finished lunch and were getting ready to pay when Jan says "wanna have another cuppa coffee and talk for a while?" I just couldn't say "well, no, as a matter of fact, I want to sneak off by myself and see a kids' movie rather than sit and talk to you." So sit and talk and swill coffee is what I did...and left the place at 2:15. Grrrr. So, to make up for it, tomorrow--after the LAST CHRISTMAS LUNCH--I am going to see "Juno." I know I'll make it cause she has an appointment so we won't be able to linger much. And, then, if I feel like torturing myself at some point over the weekend, I may even try for "P.S. I Love You." Which I will definitely have to see alone because I'm pretty much sure crying will ensue.
And now I must watch Nick Lachey and Blake Shelton (makes kitty-purring noise) :)...
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
SEEMS SO LONG AGO...
How is it that I miss just one day of blogging, and it seems like forever! Causing me to chuckle even harder at the thought of taking a blogging break. Yeah, right.
There is not a whole lot for me to say about my own life right now, but I do want to elaborate just a bit on my previous post, FOR HALLISICLE..., to fill in the two people who don't already know and love Hallie and her family. If you haven't, please go to http://www.wonderfulworldofwieners.blogspot.com/. Hallie is the proud Mom of two great sons, teen Connor, and Air Force Airman First Class (A1C) CJ--who is coming home from Lackland AFB TODAY!!!! I admit that I originally visited Hallie's site because of the title--I had to find out exactly what she was talking about there :)! Wonderful World of Dachshunds is good, but it doesn't have the same ring as Wonderful World of Wieners--good choice of names, I think! To be honest, I can't even adequately express all of the fun and love that goes on over at Hallie's "place." You've just GOTTA click on the link and go see for yourself. And, while you're there, leave a good word and thought for the exceptional young man who is serving our country!
I visited http://www.humbleorigins.blogspot.com/ a few minutes ago, and found THE BEST saying over there that I am going to pirate and use for my new "signature saying"--I love it THAT much. It says, "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION." There is also another good one there that says, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Neither author is known, so I can't give credit where credit is due, except to say thanks to TJ at Humble Origins. I am a lover of "sayings" and both of those are so good, in my opinion.
I am so loving this week! However, with the amount of food that is being consumed at work, I'm soon gonna be one of those people that can't move out of the bed. Not really, but whoa...darn close :)! And while I'm sitting at my desk poking chocolate-covered pecans into my chubby face, I am doing "stomach-crunches-while-sitting-in-my-chair" that I found out about from a friend of mine who needs to lose 10 lbs. I HATE her. No, not really--here's a thing I've realized about losing weight. It doesn't make any difference if you need to lose 10 lbs. like her or 300 lbs. like me; it's all relative, and it's all important. Her extra 10 lbs. is just as important to her as my 300 lbs. extra is to me. I was thinking about making it a New Year's Resolution to try to lose some weight in 2008 (and become a poet who doesn't know it...) but then I realized that making it a resolution would be the kiss of death for any hope that it would truly happen. I need someone to tell me I absolutely CANNOT and SHOULD NOT lose any weight. That's the only sure way of making me do it...well, that, or if I get really determined on my own. Both of those scenarios work :).
I just cannot believe how fast this week is passing! Yesterday I got together with ML for a cuppa coffee and then went to see "This Christmas" at my free-popcorn-Tuesday theater. It was actually better than I expected it to be, and the music was excellent. But, ya know, I still want to see Alvin & The Chipmunks. With each new time I see the previews for it, I want to see it more and more. I may do that tomorrow afternoon, after getting together with Jan-my-Church-Lady-friend for lunch. Just sorta depends on what the weather does, how busy my work day is tomorrow, all the usual. Friday, Gayla and I are going to meet up for lunch at Osaka, which is a Japanese seafood & steakhouse where they do the whole hibachi thing and which I hear is very good. I've been wanting to try it for a while now and Gayla is the only one I can think of who would go with me. I could just see Lynda there, digging through her food and trying to identify it all while picking out everything she doesn't like...hehehe. My poor chosen-sis Lynda, I shouldn't make fun of her since she's down for the count with the crud--but she certainly is interesting to dine with :)! The good part about it is, she DOES NOT eat leftovers--even if she only took one bite of something!!!--so I get to take home her leftovers. Hey, I'm not proud! Which might be part of the reason why it could end up taking a crane to get me out of my house.
Yesterday I also realized that I have four-day weekends for the next two weeks, so Merry Christmas to moi! I am getting so excited for Christmas--I'm worse than any kid. Christmas Eve will be spent with Todd, Lori, Shawn and Stacie (Lori's brother and his wife), and all six Danielson grandchildren. This, my friends, is what makes it that warm and fuzzy time of year for me. This is how I've been spending Christmas Eve for four years now, and I can't even begin to say how much fun it is. Great food, great beverages, greater-than-great people, and just FUN! We always go with the eat, drink and be merry thing, and also play lots of games. Yes, we are one of those geeky game-loving families. Give us Yahtzee Turbo, Apples to Apples, the many Unos, Electronic Sorry and Electronic Trouble and we're happy. Christmas Day will be all about stuffing our faces over at Todd and Lori's. Mmmmmm...Christmas Dinner!
Fun times...
There is not a whole lot for me to say about my own life right now, but I do want to elaborate just a bit on my previous post, FOR HALLISICLE..., to fill in the two people who don't already know and love Hallie and her family. If you haven't, please go to http://www.wonderfulworldofwieners.blogspot.com/. Hallie is the proud Mom of two great sons, teen Connor, and Air Force Airman First Class (A1C) CJ--who is coming home from Lackland AFB TODAY!!!! I admit that I originally visited Hallie's site because of the title--I had to find out exactly what she was talking about there :)! Wonderful World of Dachshunds is good, but it doesn't have the same ring as Wonderful World of Wieners--good choice of names, I think! To be honest, I can't even adequately express all of the fun and love that goes on over at Hallie's "place." You've just GOTTA click on the link and go see for yourself. And, while you're there, leave a good word and thought for the exceptional young man who is serving our country!
I visited http://www.humbleorigins.blogspot.com/ a few minutes ago, and found THE BEST saying over there that I am going to pirate and use for my new "signature saying"--I love it THAT much. It says, "NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO BE YOUR PRIORITY WHILE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE THEIR OPTION." There is also another good one there that says, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Neither author is known, so I can't give credit where credit is due, except to say thanks to TJ at Humble Origins. I am a lover of "sayings" and both of those are so good, in my opinion.
I am so loving this week! However, with the amount of food that is being consumed at work, I'm soon gonna be one of those people that can't move out of the bed. Not really, but whoa...darn close :)! And while I'm sitting at my desk poking chocolate-covered pecans into my chubby face, I am doing "stomach-crunches-while-sitting-in-my-chair" that I found out about from a friend of mine who needs to lose 10 lbs. I HATE her. No, not really--here's a thing I've realized about losing weight. It doesn't make any difference if you need to lose 10 lbs. like her or 300 lbs. like me; it's all relative, and it's all important. Her extra 10 lbs. is just as important to her as my 300 lbs. extra is to me. I was thinking about making it a New Year's Resolution to try to lose some weight in 2008 (and become a poet who doesn't know it...) but then I realized that making it a resolution would be the kiss of death for any hope that it would truly happen. I need someone to tell me I absolutely CANNOT and SHOULD NOT lose any weight. That's the only sure way of making me do it...well, that, or if I get really determined on my own. Both of those scenarios work :).
I just cannot believe how fast this week is passing! Yesterday I got together with ML for a cuppa coffee and then went to see "This Christmas" at my free-popcorn-Tuesday theater. It was actually better than I expected it to be, and the music was excellent. But, ya know, I still want to see Alvin & The Chipmunks. With each new time I see the previews for it, I want to see it more and more. I may do that tomorrow afternoon, after getting together with Jan-my-Church-Lady-friend for lunch. Just sorta depends on what the weather does, how busy my work day is tomorrow, all the usual. Friday, Gayla and I are going to meet up for lunch at Osaka, which is a Japanese seafood & steakhouse where they do the whole hibachi thing and which I hear is very good. I've been wanting to try it for a while now and Gayla is the only one I can think of who would go with me. I could just see Lynda there, digging through her food and trying to identify it all while picking out everything she doesn't like...hehehe. My poor chosen-sis Lynda, I shouldn't make fun of her since she's down for the count with the crud--but she certainly is interesting to dine with :)! The good part about it is, she DOES NOT eat leftovers--even if she only took one bite of something!!!--so I get to take home her leftovers. Hey, I'm not proud! Which might be part of the reason why it could end up taking a crane to get me out of my house.
Yesterday I also realized that I have four-day weekends for the next two weeks, so Merry Christmas to moi! I am getting so excited for Christmas--I'm worse than any kid. Christmas Eve will be spent with Todd, Lori, Shawn and Stacie (Lori's brother and his wife), and all six Danielson grandchildren. This, my friends, is what makes it that warm and fuzzy time of year for me. This is how I've been spending Christmas Eve for four years now, and I can't even begin to say how much fun it is. Great food, great beverages, greater-than-great people, and just FUN! We always go with the eat, drink and be merry thing, and also play lots of games. Yes, we are one of those geeky game-loving families. Give us Yahtzee Turbo, Apples to Apples, the many Unos, Electronic Sorry and Electronic Trouble and we're happy. Christmas Day will be all about stuffing our faces over at Todd and Lori's. Mmmmmm...Christmas Dinner!
Fun times...
FOR HALLISICLE...
This one's just for you, Hallisicle, to give you a place to comment and vent any and all frustration !!! I am so sorry to hear about the delays...since I'm here at work I haven't heard what's going on; are the delays weather-related, or just dumb-flight-schedule related? We're ALL waiting for CJ to get home to you...the thing with connecting flights is this: if it's weather-related, then chances are the connecting flights will be delayed, too! So, don't despair just yet.
However, confiscating his Red Bull? Inexcusable!!!! Couldn't he have just chugged it down real quick? :)
Later, all gators :) ...
However, confiscating his Red Bull? Inexcusable!!!! Couldn't he have just chugged it down real quick? :)
Later, all gators :) ...
Monday, December 17, 2007
I FEEL THE NEED...
...to continue on with The Bill and Kim Story. The way we met and got together is, to me, a great story and one of which I am very proud. I was nothing but honorable in my relationship with Bill at a time when I wasn't always so. By the time we got together for good, I knew the words honorable and integrity, and had long since decided that was the way I wanted to live my life. And I did. As good as the story has been up until now, though, it gets even better...much, much better. And I am really feeling the need to continue on with The Bill and Kim Story: The Marriage Years, and I feel like I need to tell it right up to the time when I started blogging.
Of course, the continuation is going to eventually get sad. Nonetheless, this is pretty much where I've wanted to get to...where I can tell the WHOLE thing, even the sad parts--all together. Because even the sad parts are very, very good. Anybody who wants to continue reading, I want you to feel like you know Bill at least a little, by the time I finish the whole story. If it makes it a little easier, I can put up a warning when it's going to start getting sad so those who don't want to read that can skip. But, even in the sad parts--like I already said--there is some humor, some fun and still--always--a whole lotta love. I like Led Zeppelin :). This has been really good for me to do this, and I really appreciate everyone's kind words. I just need to take it through his WHOLE life, and since it is such a big part of my life. This will probably be pretty soon, but I don't know exactly when since this is a pretty busy week...and also my very favorite week of the year!
Today was a really nice December day here in Minnesota. Our temps were in the 30s, lots of bright sunshine and no real wind. It was a good day to be out and about doing Christmas things, and many people were doing exactly that! I had big plans, after my facial and eyelash-dye-job, to go shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond and then over to Southdale Mall. Made it to BB&B, but never made it to the Mall. I got my wits about me and decided today it was more important to finish up my Christmas cards--which I did!!! My hope for tomorrow is that I can get out to Burnsville Center and Gander Mountain for gift cards, and then maybe even a movie on Free Popcorn Tuesday. That's my plan; we'll see what really happens!
Last night I had such a great time getting pizza with the kids; it took forever since Savoy's famous pizza is a very popular Sunday dinner, but SO worth it! Tori had pictures from her recent trip to New York, so that kept us busy anyway. She absolutely loved it there, just like I knew she would. She and I tend to like a lot of the same times of things and I love it; that was partly why I was so excited for her to go. They had a great time, which made me happy. Now, tomorrow it's just back to work. Bummer. HAHAHA!
Have a good evening...
Of course, the continuation is going to eventually get sad. Nonetheless, this is pretty much where I've wanted to get to...where I can tell the WHOLE thing, even the sad parts--all together. Because even the sad parts are very, very good. Anybody who wants to continue reading, I want you to feel like you know Bill at least a little, by the time I finish the whole story. If it makes it a little easier, I can put up a warning when it's going to start getting sad so those who don't want to read that can skip. But, even in the sad parts--like I already said--there is some humor, some fun and still--always--a whole lotta love. I like Led Zeppelin :). This has been really good for me to do this, and I really appreciate everyone's kind words. I just need to take it through his WHOLE life, and since it is such a big part of my life. This will probably be pretty soon, but I don't know exactly when since this is a pretty busy week...and also my very favorite week of the year!
Today was a really nice December day here in Minnesota. Our temps were in the 30s, lots of bright sunshine and no real wind. It was a good day to be out and about doing Christmas things, and many people were doing exactly that! I had big plans, after my facial and eyelash-dye-job, to go shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond and then over to Southdale Mall. Made it to BB&B, but never made it to the Mall. I got my wits about me and decided today it was more important to finish up my Christmas cards--which I did!!! My hope for tomorrow is that I can get out to Burnsville Center and Gander Mountain for gift cards, and then maybe even a movie on Free Popcorn Tuesday. That's my plan; we'll see what really happens!
Last night I had such a great time getting pizza with the kids; it took forever since Savoy's famous pizza is a very popular Sunday dinner, but SO worth it! Tori had pictures from her recent trip to New York, so that kept us busy anyway. She absolutely loved it there, just like I knew she would. She and I tend to like a lot of the same times of things and I love it; that was partly why I was so excited for her to go. They had a great time, which made me happy. Now, tomorrow it's just back to work. Bummer. HAHAHA!
Have a good evening...
...AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...
We each went on about our respective lives. It would be a good story to say we pined away for each other, but we didn't--well, maybe a little...but not for long, because we had decided what direction our respective lives were going to go. And that takes work, not a half-hearted attempt while pining away for someone. This was probably more true for him than for me, because he was the one who had a marriage to try to repair after a long separation, and two young kids to consider. During that same timeframe, the corner that the station was on was slated for re-development so he had to scurry around and go back to being a worker bee. It had to have been a very hard time for him, but I wasn't around to talk to him about it (until years later). Because I moved. In retrospect, I know I moved to get away from all of the memories; but back then I just said that the rent increase was too much. It wasn't really that bad, but I told myself what I needed to tell myself.
Years passed, but as fate would have it, I ran into Bill quite a bit over the years. I also ran into people that we both knew, especially John, a kid who had worked for Bill at his station and who I got to know there. From John, I found out that despite their best efforts, Bill's marriage had ended early on...not long after I had moved. He was dating someone new that John didn't care for much, and he thought that I should look Bill up...but I didn't. If possible, I was even less inclined to form any permanent attachments than I had been before; I thought it was probable that would never be a part of my future. And Bill was the attachment kind; I don't think he would have wanted me seeing other people. And I couldn't see myself ever not seeing other people. I was single-handedly out to turn around that old double standard that was in place between men and women since the beginning of time. And having a darn good time trying, I might add.
John must have been working on Bill, too, from what I could gather. It wasn't too much after talking to John that I ran into Bill. And it was SO GOOD to see him; he was doing great and seemed really happy. He asked if I wanted to get together for lunch, and I didn't even hesitate about saying yes; he was happy with his life and his girlfriend, I was happy with my life, and he had been one of my very best friends--so, yeah, lunch would be great. And it was. We had a great time catching up on each other's lives, and left the restaurant saying that we would definitely try to stay in touch. Which sort of happened, but more by accident than by design. But that was enough for me to think that there probably wasn't ever going to be a time when we would completely lose touch with each other.
More time passed, more stuff happened, and what seemed to be almost like magic, I started to change in my thinking about relationships and men and marriage and what was important in life. I was getting older and less and less inclined to spend as much time being out and about, and the pool of men was dwindling. It seems other people were growing up a little, too. I had a new car I was paying for with two jobs, I had a great apartment back in the city where I belonged, and a new-fangled contraption called a VCR that sealed the deal in my transformation to being a homebody. Plus, there was crazy stuff going on at my main workplace. There were rumors that our little airline was going to merge with the "other" much-bigger airline in town. A merger with our arch rivals? The one that we all said we'd never work for? Oh please, say it isn't so! But, alas, it was. Lots and lots of changes, more and more homebody-ness for me, and--finally--back to having just one job. One was all I could handle, being over 30 and all!
And so it went. Life was pretty darn good. On May 6, 1988, it had been close to 6 months since I'd stopped seeing my "main" (although still not "only") squeeze, I had been in my new job for 10 months and it was going great, I had a few wonderful friends that I kept busy with, and my life was the best it had ever been. I was saving, I had plans to buy a townhouse or something of the sort within the next 5-7 years and I was learning that someone bigger than me was looking out for my life. There was always a spiritual part of me inside, but I was starting to explore that part of me more and I was liking it. May 6, 1988, was a beautiful day--it was sunny and warm but not hot, and it was just a really pleasant day. I was at home and had no plans to go anywhere; in fact, it was maybe a little after 7 p.m., and I was sitting on the bed with the TV on, but I was also doing something else...possibly, maybe even probably, writing in my journal.
When the phone rang, I didn't even wonder who it was because it would have been one of three people that I hung around with and talked to on the phone regularly. BUT WAIT A MINUTE...THAT VOICE...Bill? What's up; why are you calling; are you and what's-her-name married yet? No? You broke up for good nine months ago? That's too bad. No, no, no, I'm not married. Not even close, ever. Nope, no boyfriend either. How are the kids doing? That's great. Yeah, it's really nice to hear your voice, too. Yeah, I'd love to go for a walk around the lake sometime. A cup of coffee would be great; how about tonight? It doesn't matter that you work until midnight; Byerly's on 98th Street is open 24 hours. Okay, I'll meet you there at 12:15. Yeah, it'll be nice to see you, too.
This might sound a little contrived but, HONESTLY, I felt my life change right then and there. I knew, I just knew that he was the person I was supposed to be with. What were the chances that both of us would be available and inclined at the same time, after all those years? This was bigger than him and it was bigger than me; this had to be God, giving me a chance to have what I was never sure I wanted. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and saying to myself--not out loud, thankfully--"this is it...if he is the same good person that he always was before, then this is your second chance..take it and don't blow it."
I walked into Byerly's that night and he was already there. I took one look at him, sat down, and it was like no time, much less 10 years, had passed. And that was it. There was no going back for either of us; there was not even any question. From May 6, 1988 on, there was never another night that we didn't at least spend hours on the phone. It's a wonder he didn't get fired, and it's a wonder I didn't collapse from lack of sleep. Because we worked COMPLETELY OPPOSITE SHIFTS!!! He was going to work at 4 p.m. just as I was getting off work, and when he was getting off work at midnight, I should have been asleep so I could easily get up to be at work at 7:30 or so. But every night at 7:00, he would call...every night. Most nights, at least three a week, we would go to Byerly's when he got off work...he would pick me up because he didn't want me in my underground garage at that time of the morning. And we would do stuff all weekend. And we were still the best of friends and we were still being really good. I wanted to take it slow...just because this was different, this was IT for me, he was going to be my one and only for the rest of my life...so waiting was good.
Well, taking it slow was a relative term for us, I guess. We had a great weekend in Wisconsin for Memorial Day, and I met his Mom when we got back. The next weekend I subjected him to my WHOLE FAMILY when I brought him to my cousin Kelli's graduation party. That was the real test...if he didn't like my Grandma, or if Grandma didn't like him, I'd have to think twice. I was nervous because I had NEVER introduced anyone to my family before; it had never been necessary. I know he was slightly nervous, too. But neither of us needed to be, as the minute he and Grandma looked at each other practically, that was the start of their love fest for each other that lasted for the rest of both of their lives. And we got engaged on June 28, 1988. The ring was exactly what I wanted...a 3/4 carat solitaire set in a gold Tiffany setting. Very simple and classic which was exactly what I had always wanted. We were getting married.
And I knew we would live happily ever after. I knew we would make it. We were not destined to be part of the 60% of marriages that don't make it. I had never been happier in my life, and I had never felt more blessed. He was so incredible to me; for the first time ever, I had someone who adored me and who put my happiness and well-being above his own. Which was okay because I felt the same way about him. So we both won, in my estimation.
And we were DEFINITELY gonna live happily ever after...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
HE HAD ME WITH THE BLUE-EYED STARE, AND THAT VOICE...
I like voices. I notice eyes, and I notice voices and the way guys sound when they talk. On those two points alone, Bill was kind of interesting to me. Basically, I started getting to know him and developing a friendship with him just by getting gas, and getting my car fixed--which was freakin' continual. Back then, at 21/22, I was still very hopeful and nice and still even a little naive, along with thinking I had the world by the tail and I could do ANYTHING. I was also much more outgoing then than I am now. I could--and did--converse with anybody at any time, so it was not too hard to get to know Bill. He had two young kids that were, in his opinion, the bee's knees, and a wife that he didn't talk about much except to say that things could be better, he was dedicated to his business where he spent most of his time--and he most certainly would not cheat anyone, me included, because repeat business was very important, and he had quit drinking some years before, at his wife's request. He smoked, though, but that was okay because so did I. It was almost like a natural progression that we would become friends; it's like it was meant to be, and that is exactly what we became. Nothing else. But I sure liked him and respected him, and thought he was a really good guy. He was so nice to me and, unlike every other male I knew, he wasn't continually trying to unsnap my bra or make my pants magically fall off. He seemed to like me...just me, just talking and joking, and he liked me without "wanting anything" from me. And that was so nice. He was a friend that I could really talk to.
Back then, I did a lot of bikeriding and since I lived very close to a chain of three lakes, I was always biking around the lakes and had to go past the station to get to where I was going--and also needed air in the tires, etc. One day in early spring, I stopped by on my way to the lakes on my bike--only to find him in quite the animated state, pacing around, and generally just fit to be tied. He had been "removed" from his house; went home to find his clothes scattered about the backyard. And to add insult to injury, she ran over his favorite shirt--big tire mark down the back. BWAHAHAHA. He was SO irate, but I just couldn't help myself--I started laughing, then the other guys who worked there and were also hanging around "being supportive" of his plight started laughing, and he finally had no choice but to start laughing, too. Just the thought of him trying to get a tire mark out of his favorite shirt....at least he had a friend who was also on his way to a divorce who had a townhouse out in Burnsville that he moved in with.
So we started hanging out; I invited him over for dinner, and it was so nice because afterwards he helped me with dishes. We would just sit around and talk for hours. I found out that his young daughter's birthday was the same as mine. And he missed his kids a whole lot, but that he was actually spending more time with them than he did when he was living with them. He really liked Dionne Warwick, as did I, and some other music that I had, so I made him some tapes to listen to (remember cassette tapes?). We were friends; nothing else. I don't even think we hugged at all. We just went on like that for a while, and it was so nice. But I was also really starting to like him, and that I didn't like. I had to be careful because I sure wasn't about to get all entangled with anyone; I was seeing other people all this time, too--none of whom were friends to me the way Bill was, and none of whom I truly liked as much as I did Bill. But that's okay because I don't think that was what anybody was looking for anyway.
When we heard that Dionne Warwick was coming to The Carlton Celebrity Room, Bill wanted me to go with him to see her show. We did, and it was surprisingly like a date, which was a little strange but fun, too. We had so much fun--all these years later, I still remember it so clearly I can tell you exactly what I was wearing and what he was wearing. It's kind of funny, even now, that we both really dressed up--because neither of us were dress-up people (him in his uniform and me in my jeans, since I had to dress up for work) and we didn't talk about it, we both just did it. And he brought me flowers. Well, that was a new experience; I sort of didn't know what to do with them! Good thing he did! I think the turning point, though, was the next day when I got a dozen long-stemmed red roses at work, along with a sweet note from "your secret admirer." The worst part was--unbeknownst to him--between four people, I had to try to figure out which would be the secret admirer. It took me about 30 seconds to figure it HAD to be Bill. But he brought me flowers the night before...and here he was, sending them again? Yup, he did--I called and said something cute like "it seems I have a secret admirer, would you know anything about that?" And so it began.
He would come over and hang out, or I would make dinner; I went over to his townhouse and hung out with him and his roommate sometimes; he took me out to dinner at some places that I never heard of that he liked, and I hung out at the station endlessly. There were a few times when he tried to bribe me to go away so he could get some work done :). And he insisted that if I was driving anywhere over, say, 10 miles away--he'd go over my car with a fine-tooth comb just to make sure I'd be okay. Which, by the way, somewhere in there, I had gotten a different car that was held together by more than a hope and a prayer. During that time, nothing COULD go wrong with my car because he would catch it before it broke! He was pretty much one of my best, closest friends. And, in retrospect, I know that is when I started falling in love with him. I remember telling my girlfriend, "No, NOTHING is going on with us, NOTHING. We're friends and that's it. He's too important to just goof around with; he's one I'd marry. If I was ever going to get married, which I'm NOT." We just had such a good time together; sometimes when we walked, he would hold my hand--which wasn't something I was used to--and I would usually hug him good-bye, and a couple of times, he kissed my forehead or cheek, but that was it. I really wasn't used to that, but it was nice and it was special.
We had plans for a July 4 BBQ over at the townhouse where he and Chuck lived; it was just going to be Bill and me, and Chuck and somebody he was inviting. A couple of days before, I had worked late and stopped by the station on my way home. I took one look at him and knew something was wrong, and when he said, "let's go in the office to talk" I really knew something was wrong. He told me that his wife had called and wanted him to come home; she missed him, the kids missed him, and she thought they should give it another try. What struck me right away was how conflicted he seemed to be, and that was when I knew that, at that point in time, he was probably a little more "invested" in "us" than I was. He was 8 years older than me, and I just was not ready for any kind of serious relationship--heck, I wasn't even ready for an exclusive relationship--no matter how much I liked him and the time we spent together. He wanted to know what I thought about it. And so I swallowed really hard and told him that I thought he HAD to go back and try again, and he had to give it 100%. And that in order for him to do that, there would not be any room for him and I to be friends. And he agreed. And then we both cried a little bit...but, in an effort to lighten up the moment, I finally said, "Well, I guess this means were not BBQ'ing on the 4th?" It worked--we both laughed, then I wished him luck, told him to give it everything he had, walked out of there without looking back, and sobbed. And put another fence up around another piece of my heart, and made a note to self: "caring sucks; don't do it again."
Good thing I had a better car that didn't need to be fixed often; plus, he had taken such good care of it that there was nothing that would go wrong for a long time. I drove home from work a different way; I got gas at a different place; I went out, A LOT. I put thoughts of him away somewhere far, far away. When my birthday rolled around, there was a knock on my door. It was him, flowers in hand--for my birthday. I was mean to him, and I remember saying "I thought we agreed not to do this stuff." He said something about that they were just for my birthday and that I should take them. I did, but told him not to do it again...and closed the door. And probably wasn't in a very good mood for a couple of days after. What I didn't even think about was the fact that he already knew that "being home" wasn't working.
In case anybody is wondering, that is the third part of The Bill and Kim Story. I did the first two parts quite a while ago, so I thought maybe you'd need a reminder :).
Other than that...AHHHH, IT'S THE WEEKEND! Now this is the way it should be, people--this three-day work week! I know that I do need a full week off...without being sick, and I am going to do that soon. What I have to do first is accrue enough vacation to take a whole week off. One would think that 5 weeks of vacation would be enough, but it's not!
And in other news on this end, there isn't much. Just the same list of stuff to do...yada, yada, yada. Oh, wait...there is this! Tomorrow I've got an appointment for a facial, which is nice...but I am also getting my eyelashes dyed! How fun is that? ML did it on Tuesday so I got to see the results at the lefse-making class. Now I just hope mine turns out as good as hers did. Of course, there's a part of me that is a little nervous that they're going to blind me, but I'm almost sure I'll be fine.
Later on this afternoon, Lori, Todd, Tori and possibly Blake, are going to pick me up and we're going for Savoy's pizza, which is the best there is. It's been a long time since I've seen the kids, too, so I'm doubly looking forward to this. And since I am not taking a break from blogging, I might even post again after I get home.
What the hell was I thinking, anyway...
Back then, I did a lot of bikeriding and since I lived very close to a chain of three lakes, I was always biking around the lakes and had to go past the station to get to where I was going--and also needed air in the tires, etc. One day in early spring, I stopped by on my way to the lakes on my bike--only to find him in quite the animated state, pacing around, and generally just fit to be tied. He had been "removed" from his house; went home to find his clothes scattered about the backyard. And to add insult to injury, she ran over his favorite shirt--big tire mark down the back. BWAHAHAHA. He was SO irate, but I just couldn't help myself--I started laughing, then the other guys who worked there and were also hanging around "being supportive" of his plight started laughing, and he finally had no choice but to start laughing, too. Just the thought of him trying to get a tire mark out of his favorite shirt....at least he had a friend who was also on his way to a divorce who had a townhouse out in Burnsville that he moved in with.
So we started hanging out; I invited him over for dinner, and it was so nice because afterwards he helped me with dishes. We would just sit around and talk for hours. I found out that his young daughter's birthday was the same as mine. And he missed his kids a whole lot, but that he was actually spending more time with them than he did when he was living with them. He really liked Dionne Warwick, as did I, and some other music that I had, so I made him some tapes to listen to (remember cassette tapes?). We were friends; nothing else. I don't even think we hugged at all. We just went on like that for a while, and it was so nice. But I was also really starting to like him, and that I didn't like. I had to be careful because I sure wasn't about to get all entangled with anyone; I was seeing other people all this time, too--none of whom were friends to me the way Bill was, and none of whom I truly liked as much as I did Bill. But that's okay because I don't think that was what anybody was looking for anyway.
When we heard that Dionne Warwick was coming to The Carlton Celebrity Room, Bill wanted me to go with him to see her show. We did, and it was surprisingly like a date, which was a little strange but fun, too. We had so much fun--all these years later, I still remember it so clearly I can tell you exactly what I was wearing and what he was wearing. It's kind of funny, even now, that we both really dressed up--because neither of us were dress-up people (him in his uniform and me in my jeans, since I had to dress up for work) and we didn't talk about it, we both just did it. And he brought me flowers. Well, that was a new experience; I sort of didn't know what to do with them! Good thing he did! I think the turning point, though, was the next day when I got a dozen long-stemmed red roses at work, along with a sweet note from "your secret admirer." The worst part was--unbeknownst to him--between four people, I had to try to figure out which would be the secret admirer. It took me about 30 seconds to figure it HAD to be Bill. But he brought me flowers the night before...and here he was, sending them again? Yup, he did--I called and said something cute like "it seems I have a secret admirer, would you know anything about that?" And so it began.
He would come over and hang out, or I would make dinner; I went over to his townhouse and hung out with him and his roommate sometimes; he took me out to dinner at some places that I never heard of that he liked, and I hung out at the station endlessly. There were a few times when he tried to bribe me to go away so he could get some work done :). And he insisted that if I was driving anywhere over, say, 10 miles away--he'd go over my car with a fine-tooth comb just to make sure I'd be okay. Which, by the way, somewhere in there, I had gotten a different car that was held together by more than a hope and a prayer. During that time, nothing COULD go wrong with my car because he would catch it before it broke! He was pretty much one of my best, closest friends. And, in retrospect, I know that is when I started falling in love with him. I remember telling my girlfriend, "No, NOTHING is going on with us, NOTHING. We're friends and that's it. He's too important to just goof around with; he's one I'd marry. If I was ever going to get married, which I'm NOT." We just had such a good time together; sometimes when we walked, he would hold my hand--which wasn't something I was used to--and I would usually hug him good-bye, and a couple of times, he kissed my forehead or cheek, but that was it. I really wasn't used to that, but it was nice and it was special.
We had plans for a July 4 BBQ over at the townhouse where he and Chuck lived; it was just going to be Bill and me, and Chuck and somebody he was inviting. A couple of days before, I had worked late and stopped by the station on my way home. I took one look at him and knew something was wrong, and when he said, "let's go in the office to talk" I really knew something was wrong. He told me that his wife had called and wanted him to come home; she missed him, the kids missed him, and she thought they should give it another try. What struck me right away was how conflicted he seemed to be, and that was when I knew that, at that point in time, he was probably a little more "invested" in "us" than I was. He was 8 years older than me, and I just was not ready for any kind of serious relationship--heck, I wasn't even ready for an exclusive relationship--no matter how much I liked him and the time we spent together. He wanted to know what I thought about it. And so I swallowed really hard and told him that I thought he HAD to go back and try again, and he had to give it 100%. And that in order for him to do that, there would not be any room for him and I to be friends. And he agreed. And then we both cried a little bit...but, in an effort to lighten up the moment, I finally said, "Well, I guess this means were not BBQ'ing on the 4th?" It worked--we both laughed, then I wished him luck, told him to give it everything he had, walked out of there without looking back, and sobbed. And put another fence up around another piece of my heart, and made a note to self: "caring sucks; don't do it again."
Good thing I had a better car that didn't need to be fixed often; plus, he had taken such good care of it that there was nothing that would go wrong for a long time. I drove home from work a different way; I got gas at a different place; I went out, A LOT. I put thoughts of him away somewhere far, far away. When my birthday rolled around, there was a knock on my door. It was him, flowers in hand--for my birthday. I was mean to him, and I remember saying "I thought we agreed not to do this stuff." He said something about that they were just for my birthday and that I should take them. I did, but told him not to do it again...and closed the door. And probably wasn't in a very good mood for a couple of days after. What I didn't even think about was the fact that he already knew that "being home" wasn't working.
In case anybody is wondering, that is the third part of The Bill and Kim Story. I did the first two parts quite a while ago, so I thought maybe you'd need a reminder :).
Other than that...AHHHH, IT'S THE WEEKEND! Now this is the way it should be, people--this three-day work week! I know that I do need a full week off...without being sick, and I am going to do that soon. What I have to do first is accrue enough vacation to take a whole week off. One would think that 5 weeks of vacation would be enough, but it's not!
And in other news on this end, there isn't much. Just the same list of stuff to do...yada, yada, yada. Oh, wait...there is this! Tomorrow I've got an appointment for a facial, which is nice...but I am also getting my eyelashes dyed! How fun is that? ML did it on Tuesday so I got to see the results at the lefse-making class. Now I just hope mine turns out as good as hers did. Of course, there's a part of me that is a little nervous that they're going to blind me, but I'm almost sure I'll be fine.
Later on this afternoon, Lori, Todd, Tori and possibly Blake, are going to pick me up and we're going for Savoy's pizza, which is the best there is. It's been a long time since I've seen the kids, too, so I'm doubly looking forward to this. And since I am not taking a break from blogging, I might even post again after I get home.
What the hell was I thinking, anyway...
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I CAN'T DO IT...
Okay, so that was the shortest break in the history of breaks. I just can't do it...I can't NOT blog. So what if I spend too much time in front of the computer. So what if it's my life. So what if people think I should get a real life instead. I like this one, and I don't care what anyone else thinks...I just DON'T. My favorite people are here, and it makes me feel lonely to not be here. Can't help it; this is life in this century, in my opinion. And I'm down with that...HAHAHA!
Right now, I'm working; later, I'm BLOGGING, happily...
Right now, I'm working; later, I'm BLOGGING, happily...
Friday, December 14, 2007
TAKING A BREAK...
Is it ironic that I'm posting to say I'm not going to post for a while? I'm just fine, nothing's wrong--there's just an awful lot going on in a short amount of time. I know that's everyone's story right about now, but I'm a weenie that gets easily overwhelmed :).
And now that I've actually posted this, I will probably get itchy fingers and end up writing even more than I usually do without even missing a beat.
But if I don't, I WILL be back soon...
And now that I've actually posted this, I will probably get itchy fingers and end up writing even more than I usually do without even missing a beat.
But if I don't, I WILL be back soon...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
THIS WAS AN **INTERESTING** DAY...
First of all, let me clarify something...really; I'm not down, I'm not glum, I'm not depressed or anything like that. Sometimes I just need to take some time to think about/write about people that I am missing and here is where I do that. My original intent for this blog was exactly for that very thing, but over time that has changed into more of a social thing as I've worked through the grief, adjustments, and learning new ways of living a new kind of life. That is what the title "lifeafter..." originally referred to--lifeafter...the deaths of my Husband, my Mother, my Grandmother. Now it just means lifeafter... in general, but there are times, as I said, that I have feelings I need to write about; but by no means am I "out on the ledge" over the whole thing. Not anymore. I usually get back to "myself" fairly soon after one of my strolls down memory lane. However, today was...ummmm...a day.
Busierthan hell than I could believe today, but made it through...WHEW! I had to rush home before Corey got here. I called him yesterday to come over and take a look at my dishwasher, which I use for storage, because of a water retention problem when there should have been no water in there to start with. Bottom line? I am the proud owner of a new dishwasher. Now there was $500 I wasn't planning on spending right now but, what the hey, it's only money, right? OY.
In the meantime, as soon as I got home, I turned on the computer to visit everyone, but the only thing I got was "internet explorer cannot display the web page" and when I ran the diagnostic, all it told me was my internet connection was fine. ALL FREAKIN' DAY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT!!!! I finally gave in and called my friendly tech support--and actually got a very nice, very understandable kid named Kenny. After trying this, that, and 20 or so other things, we finally disabled something and that fixed it. Another OY.
I cannot believe how lost I felt without my computer. I had no choice but to take a nap :)! And then, after Corey went out and picked me up a new dishwasher (Corey, just go get me something mid-priced, not fancy, with a black front) and put it in--after taking the old monster out--I mopped the floor and even vacuumed the whole place. So all was not lost!
Now I am gonna "run around" Blogville for a little while and say hi...
Busier
In the meantime, as soon as I got home, I turned on the computer to visit everyone, but the only thing I got was "internet explorer cannot display the web page" and when I ran the diagnostic, all it told me was my internet connection was fine. ALL FREAKIN' DAY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT!!!! I finally gave in and called my friendly tech support--and actually got a very nice, very understandable kid named Kenny. After trying this, that, and 20 or so other things, we finally disabled something and that fixed it. Another OY.
I cannot believe how lost I felt without my computer. I had no choice but to take a nap :)! And then, after Corey went out and picked me up a new dishwasher (Corey, just go get me something mid-priced, not fancy, with a black front) and put it in--after taking the old monster out--I mopped the floor and even vacuumed the whole place. So all was not lost!
Now I am gonna "run around" Blogville for a little while and say hi...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
PARDON ME WHILE I TAKE A BREAK TO MISS BILL A LITTLE...
Today has been a good day inside of my house, in terms of getting things done; heck, I even got at least part of my Christmas cards mailed; the last load of laundry is in the dryer, and all junk mail has been recycled. Now I find myself missing Bill as I look at the packages that still have not been wrapped. It was so much easier...not to mention more fun...when we did it assembly-line style. Ya know, I'm just not sure that I will ever get over these momentary bouts of missing him that apparently come out of nowhere. Thankfully, what I do know for sure about it is, if I just give in and let myself feel it for the 10 minutes or so that it takes, then I can move on just fine. He really was such a good husband.
Yes, I know...I have a story to finish up, and I will do that. I just don't know exactly when...I'm thinking over the weekend sometime. These days off have been so nice in that I've been able to do some things that otherwise I'd have to do this coming weekend. YAY! In the meantime, P-Dub's BH2TW over at Confessions is sure getting interesting. I'll say this, if you have to be the child of divorced parents, I think it's almost better that it happens soon enough so that one does not remember a time when the parents lived together. This might sound awful, but I don't recall ever missing my biological father's presence, because I don't remember him ever being present. That's really too bad and I know for sure that my Mother never dreamed that would be the outcome on November 5, 1955--the Saturday that she got married. What she was that day was a really stubborn 18-year-old who was never wrong and who was going to prove to her parents that it would too work!!! I don't have a clue what he thought.
Always, she was stubborn, and she hated to fail and the few times (that I know of) that she did, it really bothered her--for a very long time, and it always took a whole lot for her to admit she was wrong and to not make excuses for why she did a thing. These things were a double-edged sword, because they are also amongst the things that helped her through some very tough times that would have made other people crumble. She could be very focused, very much a perfectionist both with herself and those around her, and sometimes almost cold in her single-mindedness to accomplish a thing she set her sights on. But she also was always there for me, always in my corner, and ready to turn all of her 4'11" might on anybody who was mean to me. And she had a way of knowing what I wanted, without a word from me, and getting it for me. I love my Mom, in all of her perfect imperfection :).
What I really can't imagine is getting the news that your parents are getting divorced just as you've found the great love of your life. When my parents separated for a while when I was 25/26 and Mom moved back here and lived with me until she found her own place, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I first found out. It was excruciatingly painful and I didn't quite understand why I felt that way. After all, I had my own life and they had theirs; we had not even lived in the same state for over three years. But it was really hard at first; the only thing that ended up being harder for me was when she decided to go back. As Grandma would say, "nobody ever could 'tell her' anything!" Grandma was pretty much right.
Maybe, for this time at least, it is really my Mom I was missing...
Yes, I know...I have a story to finish up, and I will do that. I just don't know exactly when...I'm thinking over the weekend sometime. These days off have been so nice in that I've been able to do some things that otherwise I'd have to do this coming weekend. YAY! In the meantime, P-Dub's BH2TW over at Confessions is sure getting interesting. I'll say this, if you have to be the child of divorced parents, I think it's almost better that it happens soon enough so that one does not remember a time when the parents lived together. This might sound awful, but I don't recall ever missing my biological father's presence, because I don't remember him ever being present. That's really too bad and I know for sure that my Mother never dreamed that would be the outcome on November 5, 1955--the Saturday that she got married. What she was that day was a really stubborn 18-year-old who was never wrong and who was going to prove to her parents that it would too work!!! I don't have a clue what he thought.
Always, she was stubborn, and she hated to fail and the few times (that I know of) that she did, it really bothered her--for a very long time, and it always took a whole lot for her to admit she was wrong and to not make excuses for why she did a thing. These things were a double-edged sword, because they are also amongst the things that helped her through some very tough times that would have made other people crumble. She could be very focused, very much a perfectionist both with herself and those around her, and sometimes almost cold in her single-mindedness to accomplish a thing she set her sights on. But she also was always there for me, always in my corner, and ready to turn all of her 4'11" might on anybody who was mean to me. And she had a way of knowing what I wanted, without a word from me, and getting it for me. I love my Mom, in all of her perfect imperfection :).
What I really can't imagine is getting the news that your parents are getting divorced just as you've found the great love of your life. When my parents separated for a while when I was 25/26 and Mom moved back here and lived with me until she found her own place, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I first found out. It was excruciatingly painful and I didn't quite understand why I felt that way. After all, I had my own life and they had theirs; we had not even lived in the same state for over three years. But it was really hard at first; the only thing that ended up being harder for me was when she decided to go back. As Grandma would say, "nobody ever could 'tell her' anything!" Grandma was pretty much right.
Maybe, for this time at least, it is really my Mom I was missing...
THE OLD GIRL JUST AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE...
I am tired, people. I'm almost thinking today might be a stay-at-home day. I hate to do it; I really do. It's sunny, it's not snowing, but once again it's a little chilly butt-freezin' cold out there. Pure and simple COLD.
Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer and since I go back to work tomorrow and have to be out in it anyway, maybe tomorrow would be better to be "out amongst 'em." It's not like I don't have anything to do around here (she says as she goes crunching across the carpet).
I have come to the conclusion over the last couple of days that I could do very nicely without work. Which isn't good, considering I won't be NOT working anytime soon, or not-so-soon either, for that matter. What is good is, once I get back to work I'll be fine; it's just the getting there that is tough.
The lefse-making class was very fun, and it isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Of course, the potatoes were already cooked, riced, cooled and ready for us to mix up and work with. The only way I can think of to describe lefse is that it is the Norwegian answer to French crepes, Mexican flour tortillas...like that. It' s a bunch of riced (rather than mashed) potatoes mixed with flour, sugar, butter, cream and the like, chilled and formed into balls, which are then rolled out on a special board, with a special rolling pin. Then you take a special stick and very carefully slide it under the rolled-out lefse and use the stick to transfer it to the special pan. After you've browned it on both sides, you transfer it in between cotton towels to dry. Then it is lefse, which most people spread with butter and then add cinammon sugar and/or brown sugar, roll it up, or fold in half and cut into triangles, and eat. I, however, like to put in stuffing, cranberries, turkey, a little gravy...roll up and eat. Then the cinammon sugar one for dessert :). Lefse is not EVER to be confused with that nasty-assed Lutefisk. **THAT** would be the slithery, slimy, soaked-in-lye, smells-like-ass-juice mess that is not something that will ever pass through these lips--and I hardly ever say that! One of my grandmothers was 100% Norwegian, but I have more German, English, Bohemian (whatever that is) thrown in, too--and I really think, in order to eat Lutefish, you have to be more Norwegian than I am :)!!!!
You have all now passed Lefse 101...
Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer and since I go back to work tomorrow and have to be out in it anyway, maybe tomorrow would be better to be "out amongst 'em." It's not like I don't have anything to do around here (she says as she goes crunching across the carpet).
I have come to the conclusion over the last couple of days that I could do very nicely without work. Which isn't good, considering I won't be NOT working anytime soon, or not-so-soon either, for that matter. What is good is, once I get back to work I'll be fine; it's just the getting there that is tough.
The lefse-making class was very fun, and it isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Of course, the potatoes were already cooked, riced, cooled and ready for us to mix up and work with. The only way I can think of to describe lefse is that it is the Norwegian answer to French crepes, Mexican flour tortillas...like that. It' s a bunch of riced (rather than mashed) potatoes mixed with flour, sugar, butter, cream and the like, chilled and formed into balls, which are then rolled out on a special board, with a special rolling pin. Then you take a special stick and very carefully slide it under the rolled-out lefse and use the stick to transfer it to the special pan. After you've browned it on both sides, you transfer it in between cotton towels to dry. Then it is lefse, which most people spread with butter and then add cinammon sugar and/or brown sugar, roll it up, or fold in half and cut into triangles, and eat. I, however, like to put in stuffing, cranberries, turkey, a little gravy...roll up and eat. Then the cinammon sugar one for dessert :). Lefse is not EVER to be confused with that nasty-assed Lutefisk. **THAT** would be the slithery, slimy, soaked-in-lye, smells-like-ass-juice mess that is not something that will ever pass through these lips--and I hardly ever say that! One of my grandmothers was 100% Norwegian, but I have more German, English, Bohemian (whatever that is) thrown in, too--and I really think, in order to eat Lutefish, you have to be more Norwegian than I am :)!!!!
You have all now passed Lefse 101...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
AN ITINERARY, AND MAYBE MORE...
When I have days off, there is always so much that I want to get done. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't and, either way, it all turns out to be good. Because IT'S A FREAKIN' EXTRA DAY OFF!!!!
Today the thing that must get done is a mani/pedi for Nancy. After the nail trim, I am going to have them put those little cap things on her nails and see what happens. She's pretty good about not using those nails of hers, but they're there so sometimes it can't be helped. So that WILL be happening. I'd like to get Christmas cards started, if not completely done. And I'd really like to see another movie. That's today, before the lefse class. Tomorrow I have decided I'm going to Southdale, the mall, where I have not been for many, many, many months. I may look for a new pair of glasses, mostly I'm just going to look around. I love the Crate & Barrel store there. And, okay, I'll admit it--mostly I'm probably going to sit there and look around at the people. I love to people watch. The year that I spent working at the airport was THE BEST people-watching in the world.
I sometimes wish I didn't have to sleep, even though I LOVE to sleep, just because there could be so many more hours in which to do things. Ideally and in a perfect world, all work outside of the home would be eliminated...now THAT would give many more QUALITY hours in which to do things. Sigh. Katy, wanna go in together on some lottery tickets? :)
I am hearing about the ice storms and I'm even seeing some interesting pix of it on various blogs of people living in Oklahoma. Whoa! It'scolder than a witch's tit a little chilly here, but I'll take it when I see what could be happening. Snow? What's a little snow, anyway. That ice storm thing is very scary to me...plus, it was a really good movie from several years back that said A LOT about family life in the early 1970s.
Now I want to see "Juno." I just love Jennifer Garner, for a Hollywood type, she seems to be a pretty down-to-earth person. I've loved her since way back in her "Felicity" days. I don't know, there's something about her--maybe it was because she was not only a major band geek in high school, but she was completely happy being a band geek. I like that. What I'm kind of wondering is this. Why is it that I can only get through a movie if I'm seeing it in a theater, preferrably with popcorn? When I try to watch movies at home lately, one of two things will invariably happen: 1) I will fall asleep, or 2) I will get up and wander around and do other things or turn on the computer or terrorize the cats...anything besides watch the movie. Then I'll finally turn it off. However, adding another dimension to the madness, I CAN get through watching a movie at home if it is with another person. OY. Just get me the large economy-sized bottle of OCD medicine now.
I'm sure there will be more at some point today...
Today the thing that must get done is a mani/pedi for Nancy. After the nail trim, I am going to have them put those little cap things on her nails and see what happens. She's pretty good about not using those nails of hers, but they're there so sometimes it can't be helped. So that WILL be happening. I'd like to get Christmas cards started, if not completely done. And I'd really like to see another movie. That's today, before the lefse class. Tomorrow I have decided I'm going to Southdale, the mall, where I have not been for many, many, many months. I may look for a new pair of glasses, mostly I'm just going to look around. I love the Crate & Barrel store there. And, okay, I'll admit it--mostly I'm probably going to sit there and look around at the people. I love to people watch. The year that I spent working at the airport was THE BEST people-watching in the world.
I sometimes wish I didn't have to sleep, even though I LOVE to sleep, just because there could be so many more hours in which to do things. Ideally and in a perfect world, all work outside of the home would be eliminated...now THAT would give many more QUALITY hours in which to do things. Sigh. Katy, wanna go in together on some lottery tickets? :)
I am hearing about the ice storms and I'm even seeing some interesting pix of it on various blogs of people living in Oklahoma. Whoa! It's
Now I want to see "Juno." I just love Jennifer Garner, for a Hollywood type, she seems to be a pretty down-to-earth person. I've loved her since way back in her "Felicity" days. I don't know, there's something about her--maybe it was because she was not only a major band geek in high school, but she was completely happy being a band geek. I like that. What I'm kind of wondering is this. Why is it that I can only get through a movie if I'm seeing it in a theater, preferrably with popcorn? When I try to watch movies at home lately, one of two things will invariably happen: 1) I will fall asleep, or 2) I will get up and wander around and do other things or turn on the computer or terrorize the cats...anything besides watch the movie. Then I'll finally turn it off. However, adding another dimension to the madness, I CAN get through watching a movie at home if it is with another person. OY. Just get me the large economy-sized bottle of OCD medicine now.
I'm sure there will be more at some point today...
Monday, December 10, 2007
OH, WELL; IT'S A NEW WEEK...
Today I am no longer quite so scared for the world; I guess I was just so shocked to see it on TV last night. Now I'm right back to not wanting to know anything about anybody who is a politician or anyone stumping for a politician. And I've learned a lesson about watching the network news, in that I shouldn't because they piss me off don't make much sense anyway.
Today, rather than being scared for the world, I am happy that we have a relatively nice, sun-filled day instead of the ice storms that have cut a swath through several states. I am happy that I got my one final upstairs closet cleaned out and that the Vietnam Vets came to my doorstep and picked up all of the junk wonderful items I had to donate. And right about now, I'm kind of excited that I learned how to strike through words on my blog. I promise, I'll get better at it as time goes on :). I'm happy that I'm gonna finally go and see "August Rush" because I've been wanting to see it since it first came out and then meeting Lynda for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants right up the street after the movie. And I'm gonna be really happy to be able to come home and go to bed and sleep in again tomorrow.
Then, tomorrow is the lefse-making class. I goofed up...we signed up for two classes; lefse-making and Sugar Christmas Ornament Ball-making. For some reason, I thought yesterday was lefse, but it was really the other. Which was an incredible amount of fun! I thought that I would probably suck at it since I'm not the worlds most artistic person, but it's really kind of like doing your own little mini-diorama. I always liked doing dioramas for elementary school projects so this wasn't all that much different, but on a much tinier scale and it involved royal icing! Lots of fun! I also have high hopes for the lefse-making--mostly, I think, because I do not have the expectation of turning into an expert lefse-maker. I just really owe it to myself to know how to make it, in this day and age when it is so important for one to embrace and stay close to their culture. That is a huge consideration in the Norwegian community. BWAHAHAHA!
All in all, I've really enjoyed this day. A little work got done, and a little fun will be had and a nap was already enjoyed by all who reside here. Other than peace, harmony and understanding, ya just can't ask for much more than that. Well, ya can--like winning the lottery to buy a new computer **cough*Katy*cough**--but it probably won't work. Sorry Katy! And I just have to say yet one more time how much I love blogging. Really, nicest bunch of people in the world, in my humble opinion :)!!!
Thus concludes this chapter of Kimworld...
Today, rather than being scared for the world, I am happy that we have a relatively nice, sun-filled day instead of the ice storms that have cut a swath through several states. I am happy that I got my one final upstairs closet cleaned out and that the Vietnam Vets came to my doorstep and picked up all of the
Then, tomorrow is the lefse-making class. I goofed up...we signed up for two classes; lefse-making and Sugar Christmas Ornament Ball-making. For some reason, I thought yesterday was lefse, but it was really the other. Which was an incredible amount of fun! I thought that I would probably suck at it since I'm not the worlds most artistic person, but it's really kind of like doing your own little mini-diorama. I always liked doing dioramas for elementary school projects so this wasn't all that much different, but on a much tinier scale and it involved royal icing! Lots of fun! I also have high hopes for the lefse-making--mostly, I think, because I do not have the expectation of turning into an expert lefse-maker. I just really owe it to myself to know how to make it, in this day and age when it is so important for one to embrace and stay close to their culture. That is a huge consideration in the Norwegian community. BWAHAHAHA!
All in all, I've really enjoyed this day. A little work got done, and a little fun will be had and a nap was already enjoyed by all who reside here. Other than peace, harmony and understanding, ya just can't ask for much more than that. Well, ya can--like winning the lottery to buy a new computer **cough*Katy*cough**--but it probably won't work. Sorry Katy! And I just have to say yet one more time how much I love blogging. Really, nicest bunch of people in the world, in my humble opinion :)!!!
Thus concludes this chapter of Kimworld...
Sunday, December 09, 2007
I AM SCARED FOR THE WORLD...
I am watching the national news right now and I have to say, if we have gotten to the point where Oprah is leading us by the noses as to who to vote in as President, I am scared for the world. Are people really that...leadable?
I used to like Oprah just as much as the next person but somewhere along the line she lost her luster for me. Pretty much when she started reminding people several times a week that she "had a little money." I don't begrudge anybody what they have, monetarily or otherwise, but I just don't think it's necessary to remind everybody of how much you have. And she seemed less respectful of her audience and regular guests; not a problem, however, if the guest was some sort of celebrity or star. But that's just me; some people still think she is all it--and that's okay.
I just know this for sure--just because she says someone is good, doesn't necessarily make it so. But there are a lot of people who are going to be lead by her; they're actually going to vote for Obama just because Oprah says they should. THAT.IS.SCARY.
And I have some other stuff of a less-global nature...but I'm not ready. I'm still too busy shaking my head. I just...it's too bad, and it's really kind of sad. And I'll probably be a little sad about it for a long time, but then I'll be fine again. But at least now I know and that is always, always better, in my opinion--but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I just can't talk about it yet.
When I think of it, there are several things in this world that are somewhat scary...
I used to like Oprah just as much as the next person but somewhere along the line she lost her luster for me. Pretty much when she started reminding people several times a week that she "had a little money." I don't begrudge anybody what they have, monetarily or otherwise, but I just don't think it's necessary to remind everybody of how much you have. And she seemed less respectful of her audience and regular guests; not a problem, however, if the guest was some sort of celebrity or star. But that's just me; some people still think she is all it--and that's okay.
I just know this for sure--just because she says someone is good, doesn't necessarily make it so. But there are a lot of people who are going to be lead by her; they're actually going to vote for Obama just because Oprah says they should. THAT.IS.SCARY.
And I have some other stuff of a less-global nature...but I'm not ready. I'm still too busy shaking my head. I just...it's too bad, and it's really kind of sad. And I'll probably be a little sad about it for a long time, but then I'll be fine again. But at least now I know and that is always, always better, in my opinion--but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I just can't talk about it yet.
When I think of it, there are several things in this world that are somewhat scary...
POST SECRET SUNDAY STUFF, SORTA PART TWO......
WHOA!!!! Have you guys seen the video Post Secret over on www.postsecret.blogspot.com? While Post Secret Sunday is not always easy to read (and, now, to watch), it never fails to move me. The other day when I went to Border's Bookstore to browse and have coffee, I went through every one of the new Post Secret books on the shelf--I was really hoping someone had left a secret in there. Nope, didn't find one...but I did sit there and read the whole book. I have all the others. Post Secret is not for everyone, I guess, but the closet-psychiatrist part of me is drawn to it. I think most everyone is at least a little voyeuristic. Hehehe...good word, huh? It behooves me to not get too discombobulated over being a little voyeuristic; it is not something that one should be flummoxed by. Hehehe.
Just had to share that...
Just had to share that...
SUNDAY STUFF...
I don't think I mentioned that I gave myself a FOUR-DAY WEEKEND. Y.A.Y. I plan to get the gift-wrapping done, which is a bigger challenge than one might think. Cats love ribbons and bows and paper that crinkles, and pens, and little name tags... They definitely get into the Christmas spirit real quick! I hate to do it, but I guess I'll just have no choice but to close both doors leading into the kitchen. And hope they don't pee on the carpet. Naw, I'm just joking--they never have and never would (I don't think...) do that. What they will do, however, is sit on the livingroom side of the pocket door between the livingroom and kitchen and BANG ON THE DOOR. I love having the pocket door but this house is 51 years old, just like me, and some settling has taken place, just like me, and a good commotion can be caused by banging on that door. Frank and Nancy are not dumb kitties.
I will also finish the laundry, try to corral Tracy into lunch and some running around one of those days, try to get together with Lynda for dinner Wednesday night, go to a Sugar Christmas Ball Ornament class Tuesday night with the possibility of a movie before, etc., etc. And if the weather turns crappy, I'll probably end up accomplishing the laundry, while I stay holed up in my house! It all sounds fun, doesn't it? Hope for no snow and that I'll actually get to do at least some of it. I know for sure I'll go to the class.
Now just to change it up a little, I'm gonna do a comment-back right here. I know it's hard to carry on a decent conversation when the comment-backer (me) can't decide where to put the comment-backs, so maybe that could be the question of the day. Do you prefer your comment-backs: 1) in a comment from me on YOUR blog, 2) as a comment from me on MY blog, 3) like this, in the body of a post, or 4) a combination of all three. Here I go with the comments-to-your-comments, all of which I love and appreciate:
ANN MARIE, big smooch to you, you little smartass! I'm glad I had BinkyBabyToo bite your boob; just remember, a big chomp to the right asscheek is next. You might--just might--want to keep your hahahahumor in check just a leeeeetle bit :). Not really. Or maybe? You'll never know until those tiny teeth are attached. BWAHAHAHA! Actually, the day my Mom had me at--yes, it's true--ST. OLAF Hospital, she was on a day-pass from the Institute for the Criminally Insane right next door to the hospital. Not really, that didn't happen until after she spent some time with me :). Yes, that really was the name of the hospital, but at least the town is Austin. Rose came from the town of St. Olaf and to my knowledge, no such town exists in MN. There is, however, St. Olaf College, and there was the hospital where I was born. Now it is called Austin Medical Center, with a huge ugly huge "addition" built onto the original charming hospital--which is, I suppose, what makes it a "medical center." And, yes, MONKLING and I are probably damn close to being old enough to be your mother--IF we were shameless hussies and had you when we were, like, TEN. Now I can't speak for MONKLING, but I didn't become a hussy until I was 11. The shameless part came later. More BWAHA'ing. That London Fog was really nice, I'll have you know. It was also a size 6. Now it would take, like, SEVEN of them all sewn together. But I digress...But, before I move on, it's a darn good thing you sent me such a pretty Christmas card, ANN MARIE...that makes up for all your comment hahahumor/nastiness, so another smooch for you!
KATY, Bill and SH would have done just fine together...Bill was always happiest when he was in the garage (well, maybe not happiest, but second happiest...hehe). And tools? HELL, YEAH! What we females fail to understand is this...THE GUY WITH THE MOST AND THE NICEST TOOLS WINS. Except if SH and Bill would have spent quality garage time together, then I would have had to listen to him whine about all of SH's "stuff" and "I don't have nearly that much stuff, and I need more stuff, and why do you throw out my stuff...wah, wah, wah.." (Yes, KELLAN, I "borrowed"--read pirated--the "wah, wah's" from your post--thank you!). Then, after listening to him moan and groan about his lack of stuff, KATY, I would whisk you away after our shopping trip for a good stiff drink or 10.
On a more serious note for just ONE MOMENT...CLAUDIA, I think it is a good idea to just get it all out of your mind for at least a couple of minutes. And the best way I know of doing that is by commenting profusely to ME. No, seriously, while I don't know your exact situation, I went through what can't be too different with Tracy when she was 18. Very, very hard. So, just know you're not alone. And, like I already told you, my favorite color is blue and my favorite number is 4. You?
KELLAN, your weekend sounds so fun and I wanna go to some of the kids' games with you! I had so much fun in the fall going to grandson Kenzie's football games (well, except for the one where I froze to death and almost turned into a Kimsicle, which is nowhere near as cool as a HALLISICLE...hehehe), and I miss it. I think he might be playing basketball, but no one has thought to let Grandma know yet...idiots. So, can I come tag along with you guys? I love other people's families, too! I can't wait to see what blog fodder this weekend provides for you. You provide many, many laughs for me, KELLAN. This female likes you a whole lot. And I think any that don't are just jealous, plain and simple jealous...cause you're pretty, funny and nice. There.
Hey, LIZZY, you know what? Wait until the rest of the story, it gets even more fate-ful, destiny-ful, or whatever ya wanna call it. To me, it was GOD IN ACTION. Truly. I have always been a believer, but I am also sort of one that also likes tangible evidence, preferrably being able to see and touch. Well, for me, Bill was the tangible evidence, Really, I cannot even imagine what my life would have been/would be without him. Ugh. Don't even wanna think about it. And, thank you, LIZZY, for your "Girlfriends" post the other day...really, thank you. For a little while, I was thinking that maybe I was the only one who needs her "girls" and that it was weird. Your post was just what I needed to know that it is NOT weird to need your girlfriends.
KATIE...ahhh, Dads, huh? They don't warn us about all of the other bogeymen that could get us as we move into life in the big city, just all of those many car mechanics who have nothing better to do with their days than figure out new ways to cheat young women...HAHAHA! Luckily for me, mine was also trying to figure out a way to get to know me better which--SO COOL!--would lead to me not having to actually pay for any car repairs for a very long time. Also no pumping of the gas in the middle of winter for THIRTEEN years. Ahhh, I really miss the no pumping of the gas in the middle of winter...I love you, KATIE, and in all seriousness, I am so glad your surgery is over and that it was so successful. I could not pray for more for you in this holiday season. And thank you for asking me to update your CB page while you were in the hospital. It was an honor.
Ya know, HEIDI, you picked right up on that blue-eyed stare. I'll tell ya, that blue-eyed stare could do the following: 1) quiet small children, 2) make car salesmen "sharpen" their pencil and come through with the sweet deal, 3) assure his customers that he was not only listening, but that he also heard what they were saying, 4) make Mothers and Grandmothers love him and no longer have any worries about their daughter/granddaughter, and 5) charm the pants right off his wife :). He also had great teeth. hehehe.
LANNY, if my memory serves me correctly...which is always a crapshoot these days...you're the one who originally encouraged me to do this, right? What can I say other than thank you. Writing this has been (and will continue to be as I finish up) good for me, fun, and something that I've been wanting to do since shortly after Bill died, but which it's taken me this long to be able to do. The summer after he died, my girlfriend and I were in Barnes&Noble in Highland Park after going to the Half-Price Bookstore and she found this book called "The Story of Us." It's a hardcover book that asks all kinds of questions and that you write in the answers and by the time you're finished, you have "The Story of Us." Well, Debbie being the kind of person she was, the question out of the book that she decided to ask me right there was, "What was the worst thing your spouse ever did to you." Two months after he died she wanted to know what the worst thing was that he ever did to me rather than, oh, say "What was the best thing he ever did for you." It's that type of thing that made me decide she was not my friend. But anyway...in an effort to not dissolve into a pool of tears on B&N's floor, I immediately laughed, loudly probably, and said "The worst thing he ever did to me is that he died." I bought "The Story of Us" book and it is still sitting here blank. After finishing up The Bill & Kim Story here, though, I might just be able to do "The Story of Us." Thanks, LANNY, for being the person you are and for caring about me so much. I feel that in every comment, every e-mail, everything from you...and I have grown to really need you and LINUS. Please tell me you'll always be around!
And ya know what, HALLISICLE? As soon as I finish running around with KELLAN'S family, I'm gonna come and grace you, John and Connor with my presence while we check off another day on the SCHMOOPY WOOPY countdown. Then we can all grab Laura, Kimmy & Ryan and any other willing participants and grab some dinner and a couple of Capt/DCs. And talk and laugh and have a great time. Cause I know that's the way it would be. Awww, man, that sounds fun.
And since I'd be in Maine seeing HALLISICLE, it would be stupid not to drop in on you, MOC. Cause you know how much I love the sprouts...well, and you a little bit, too, I guess. HAHAHA!
Then just to wrap up the comment-backs, KATY AND MONKLING? You two are my rocks, my partners forever, here for me everyday without fail and I shudder to think what I would do without you two. Again, GOD IN ACTION.
Okay, done now. As you can all just about imagine, I could go on and on. Which, MONKLING, shows you why I have to go with the installments for The Bill & Kim Story. Oh, I COULD definitely tell the whole thing in one fell swoop--I REALLY COULD--but I would need a whole separate blog for it (due to my extreme verbosity-ness), plus you all would die of old age before you got to the end. Well, all except for ANN MARIE, who is apparently just so much younger and more youthful than everyone else... :)! But I think it will only be two more installments, which is more than I originally thought. No doubt because of my extreme verbosity-ness. But, no, I am not going to turn it into a novel, like P-Dub. Only hers is novel-worthy. Because it involves chaps and chinks and Marlboro Man. I will settle for writing, simply, "The Story of Us" just so that my grandkids can know their Grandpa a little better.
Today is going to be fun, I think. ML is coming over and we're going to attend a lefse-making class offered by the same place as the Sugar Christmas Ball Ornament class. I figure, anybody born in ST. OLAF Hospital really should know how to make lefse, even if she never does. I am doing it strictly for fun; I have no goal to be the world's best lefse-maker or anything like that. I simply want to know how to do it, and I want to spend time with my IRL girlfriend and talk and laugh with her. And if you've dropped by this morning, ML--hi, I can't wait to see you. And also because this is my blog and I can? You need to know I'm glad you're my friend, I appreciate the time we spend together, and I want you to keep reading this whenever you want. I also would like it if you would still e-mail me and talk to me about you sometimes; not everyday, just sometimes. Plus, in that friendship way, I love you very much. Now stop feeling uncomfortable, it's just me. Looking forward to today...
Have a great Sunday...
I will also finish the laundry, try to corral Tracy into lunch and some running around one of those days, try to get together with Lynda for dinner Wednesday night, go to a Sugar Christmas Ball Ornament class Tuesday night with the possibility of a movie before, etc., etc. And if the weather turns crappy, I'll probably end up accomplishing the laundry, while I stay holed up in my house! It all sounds fun, doesn't it? Hope for no snow and that I'll actually get to do at least some of it. I know for sure I'll go to the class.
Now just to change it up a little, I'm gonna do a comment-back right here. I know it's hard to carry on a decent conversation when the comment-backer (me) can't decide where to put the comment-backs, so maybe that could be the question of the day. Do you prefer your comment-backs: 1) in a comment from me on YOUR blog, 2) as a comment from me on MY blog, 3) like this, in the body of a post, or 4) a combination of all three. Here I go with the comments-to-your-comments, all of which I love and appreciate:
ANN MARIE, big smooch to you, you little smartass! I'm glad I had BinkyBabyToo bite your boob; just remember, a big chomp to the right asscheek is next. You might--just might--want to keep your hahahahumor in check just a leeeeetle bit :). Not really. Or maybe? You'll never know until those tiny teeth are attached. BWAHAHAHA! Actually, the day my Mom had me at--yes, it's true--ST. OLAF Hospital, she was on a day-pass from the Institute for the Criminally Insane right next door to the hospital. Not really, that didn't happen until after she spent some time with me :). Yes, that really was the name of the hospital, but at least the town is Austin. Rose came from the town of St. Olaf and to my knowledge, no such town exists in MN. There is, however, St. Olaf College, and there was the hospital where I was born. Now it is called Austin Medical Center, with a huge ugly huge "addition" built onto the original charming hospital--which is, I suppose, what makes it a "medical center." And, yes, MONKLING and I are probably damn close to being old enough to be your mother--IF we were shameless hussies and had you when we were, like, TEN. Now I can't speak for MONKLING, but I didn't become a hussy until I was 11. The shameless part came later. More BWAHA'ing. That London Fog was really nice, I'll have you know. It was also a size 6. Now it would take, like, SEVEN of them all sewn together. But I digress...But, before I move on, it's a darn good thing you sent me such a pretty Christmas card, ANN MARIE...that makes up for all your comment hahahumor/nastiness, so another smooch for you!
KATY, Bill and SH would have done just fine together...Bill was always happiest when he was in the garage (well, maybe not happiest, but second happiest...hehe). And tools? HELL, YEAH! What we females fail to understand is this...THE GUY WITH THE MOST AND THE NICEST TOOLS WINS. Except if SH and Bill would have spent quality garage time together, then I would have had to listen to him whine about all of SH's "stuff" and "I don't have nearly that much stuff, and I need more stuff, and why do you throw out my stuff...wah, wah, wah.." (Yes, KELLAN, I "borrowed"--read pirated--the "wah, wah's" from your post--thank you!). Then, after listening to him moan and groan about his lack of stuff, KATY, I would whisk you away after our shopping trip for a good stiff drink or 10.
On a more serious note for just ONE MOMENT...CLAUDIA, I think it is a good idea to just get it all out of your mind for at least a couple of minutes. And the best way I know of doing that is by commenting profusely to ME. No, seriously, while I don't know your exact situation, I went through what can't be too different with Tracy when she was 18. Very, very hard. So, just know you're not alone. And, like I already told you, my favorite color is blue and my favorite number is 4. You?
KELLAN, your weekend sounds so fun and I wanna go to some of the kids' games with you! I had so much fun in the fall going to grandson Kenzie's football games (well, except for the one where I froze to death and almost turned into a Kimsicle, which is nowhere near as cool as a HALLISICLE...hehehe), and I miss it. I think he might be playing basketball, but no one has thought to let Grandma know yet...idiots. So, can I come tag along with you guys? I love other people's families, too! I can't wait to see what blog fodder this weekend provides for you. You provide many, many laughs for me, KELLAN. This female likes you a whole lot. And I think any that don't are just jealous, plain and simple jealous...cause you're pretty, funny and nice. There.
Hey, LIZZY, you know what? Wait until the rest of the story, it gets even more fate-ful, destiny-ful, or whatever ya wanna call it. To me, it was GOD IN ACTION. Truly. I have always been a believer, but I am also sort of one that also likes tangible evidence, preferrably being able to see and touch. Well, for me, Bill was the tangible evidence, Really, I cannot even imagine what my life would have been/would be without him. Ugh. Don't even wanna think about it. And, thank you, LIZZY, for your "Girlfriends" post the other day...really, thank you. For a little while, I was thinking that maybe I was the only one who needs her "girls" and that it was weird. Your post was just what I needed to know that it is NOT weird to need your girlfriends.
KATIE...ahhh, Dads, huh? They don't warn us about all of the other bogeymen that could get us as we move into life in the big city, just all of those many car mechanics who have nothing better to do with their days than figure out new ways to cheat young women...HAHAHA! Luckily for me, mine was also trying to figure out a way to get to know me better which--SO COOL!--would lead to me not having to actually pay for any car repairs for a very long time. Also no pumping of the gas in the middle of winter for THIRTEEN years. Ahhh, I really miss the no pumping of the gas in the middle of winter...I love you, KATIE, and in all seriousness, I am so glad your surgery is over and that it was so successful. I could not pray for more for you in this holiday season. And thank you for asking me to update your CB page while you were in the hospital. It was an honor.
Ya know, HEIDI, you picked right up on that blue-eyed stare. I'll tell ya, that blue-eyed stare could do the following: 1) quiet small children, 2) make car salesmen "sharpen" their pencil and come through with the sweet deal, 3) assure his customers that he was not only listening, but that he also heard what they were saying, 4) make Mothers and Grandmothers love him and no longer have any worries about their daughter/granddaughter, and 5) charm the pants right off his wife :). He also had great teeth. hehehe.
LANNY, if my memory serves me correctly...which is always a crapshoot these days...you're the one who originally encouraged me to do this, right? What can I say other than thank you. Writing this has been (and will continue to be as I finish up) good for me, fun, and something that I've been wanting to do since shortly after Bill died, but which it's taken me this long to be able to do. The summer after he died, my girlfriend and I were in Barnes&Noble in Highland Park after going to the Half-Price Bookstore and she found this book called "The Story of Us." It's a hardcover book that asks all kinds of questions and that you write in the answers and by the time you're finished, you have "The Story of Us." Well, Debbie being the kind of person she was, the question out of the book that she decided to ask me right there was, "What was the worst thing your spouse ever did to you." Two months after he died she wanted to know what the worst thing was that he ever did to me rather than, oh, say "What was the best thing he ever did for you." It's that type of thing that made me decide she was not my friend. But anyway...in an effort to not dissolve into a pool of tears on B&N's floor, I immediately laughed, loudly probably, and said "The worst thing he ever did to me is that he died." I bought "The Story of Us" book and it is still sitting here blank. After finishing up The Bill & Kim Story here, though, I might just be able to do "The Story of Us." Thanks, LANNY, for being the person you are and for caring about me so much. I feel that in every comment, every e-mail, everything from you...and I have grown to really need you and LINUS. Please tell me you'll always be around!
And ya know what, HALLISICLE? As soon as I finish running around with KELLAN'S family, I'm gonna come and grace you, John and Connor with my presence while we check off another day on the SCHMOOPY WOOPY countdown. Then we can all grab Laura, Kimmy & Ryan and any other willing participants and grab some dinner and a couple of Capt/DCs. And talk and laugh and have a great time. Cause I know that's the way it would be. Awww, man, that sounds fun.
And since I'd be in Maine seeing HALLISICLE, it would be stupid not to drop in on you, MOC. Cause you know how much I love the sprouts...well, and you a little bit, too, I guess. HAHAHA!
Then just to wrap up the comment-backs, KATY AND MONKLING? You two are my rocks, my partners forever, here for me everyday without fail and I shudder to think what I would do without you two. Again, GOD IN ACTION.
Okay, done now. As you can all just about imagine, I could go on and on. Which, MONKLING, shows you why I have to go with the installments for The Bill & Kim Story. Oh, I COULD definitely tell the whole thing in one fell swoop--I REALLY COULD--but I would need a whole separate blog for it (due to my extreme verbosity-ness), plus you all would die of old age before you got to the end. Well, all except for ANN MARIE, who is apparently just so much younger and more youthful than everyone else... :)! But I think it will only be two more installments, which is more than I originally thought. No doubt because of my extreme verbosity-ness. But, no, I am not going to turn it into a novel, like P-Dub. Only hers is novel-worthy. Because it involves chaps and chinks and Marlboro Man. I will settle for writing, simply, "The Story of Us" just so that my grandkids can know their Grandpa a little better.
Today is going to be fun, I think. ML is coming over and we're going to attend a lefse-making class offered by the same place as the Sugar Christmas Ball Ornament class. I figure, anybody born in ST. OLAF Hospital really should know how to make lefse, even if she never does. I am doing it strictly for fun; I have no goal to be the world's best lefse-maker or anything like that. I simply want to know how to do it, and I want to spend time with my IRL girlfriend and talk and laugh with her. And if you've dropped by this morning, ML--hi, I can't wait to see you. And also because this is my blog and I can? You need to know I'm glad you're my friend, I appreciate the time we spend together, and I want you to keep reading this whenever you want. I also would like it if you would still e-mail me and talk to me about you sometimes; not everyday, just sometimes. Plus, in that friendship way, I love you very much. Now stop feeling uncomfortable, it's just me. Looking forward to today...
Have a great Sunday...
Friday, December 07, 2007
THE STORY CONTINUES...
Where I left off was with a newly-married-and-Dad-to-be Bill going off to the Army, which had already been done, under the delayed entry program, before the other two happened. I don't really want to say a whole lot about his first marriage because that just wouldn't be right. What I'll say is this. First and foremost, it is my good fortune that two wonderful children came from that marriage. Without them--right now, today--I would be a mere shell of a person. Then, too, it must have been hard on his then-wife to be without him through her whole pregnancy and the birth of Todd. They didn't get time to be a married couple, just the two of them, at all. Through no choice of his own, Bill wasn't there to hold her hand and for her to cuss at as that first baby was born. However, there was a time when Bill was stationed in Italy that his wife and baby Todd were able to live there in Italy with him, in a regular apartment, as a family. Bill always said that was the best time of their marriage. From Italy, Bill then went to VietNam, and his family returned home to Minnesota.
I'm not making excuses, but I do know that it was hard for many VietNam Veterans when they returned home. I saw it with my uncle and his friends who joined the Marines along with him. Bill got back to a family that he didn't know all that well, tried to adjust to life where he wasn't the Sargeant that bossed everybody around, and move forward from killing and watching friends be killed. That's a lot. He was the first one, later on in "our" years, to admit that he wasn't a good husband then. He worked too much, he drank too much, and he didn't talk enough. They didn't know each other that well, and what she did know of him "before" wasn't necessarily what he was when he got out of the Army. It's my opinion that the marriage was probably doomed from the beginning, but I don't think anybody going into it wants to think that. And if it starts looking that way, some people try to fix it with another baby. Hello, Tracy.
Bill was ALWAYS a car guy. Before cars, it was his bike. As a kid, he would completely dismantle his bike a couple of times a year and clean everything, grease it all, and do whatever else boys who do that sort of thing do. It's a mystery to me; I can't even load a dishwasher :). He bought his first car when he was 14; the car didn't have an engine, but it was a car. Not too long after getting the car shell, he bought a non-working engine from somebody in the neighborhood for something like $20, and hauled it home in a wagon. With the help of his sister's boyfriend who was an ace mechanic, they rebuilt the engine, popped it into the car shell and, voila, there was his first car. He used to sit in it in the driveway and listen to the radio and when he could get away with it, he would back it up and then drive it back up the driveway. Isn't that cute? When he got his first job, it wasn't surprising that it was at a service station and it wasn't long before he was doing all of the tows, changing oil and doing minor repairs on cars. It was completely natural ability for him and he loved it. He worked at that job until the Army, and then spent time in the Motor Pool in the Army. I don't know exactly what the time frame was when he got out of the Army, but at some point he started working with a guy who had plans to buy his own station, so they teamed up on that in some way. Again, I don't know a whole lot of details about how they arrived at that, what their arrangement was, but I can say that he was ALWAYS there, because that is where I met him.
Although he could probably tell you the exact date of that first meeting, if he was alive, I can't. As close as I can come is to say that it was late 1978 because I DO remember that I was wearing my London Fog trench coat with the winter insert in it. I remember what I said to him and what a pain in the ass I must have been, but it did get his attention. He always said that he immediately thought I was cute and the fact that I was a little bit of a bitch made me even more fetching. HAHA--no, what he really said was that I seemed able to take care of myself with no problem and that I was cute. Thank God he never said he remembered me because I was cute and had big boobs because I would've killed him if he said that. "Seemed able to take care of myself" sounds much better :). What I did was, when he gave me the estimate for what it would cost to put a new thingamajig on that damn Maverick, I told him in a really snotty way that I thought he was charging me way too much and that I could get it done much cheaper in Lakeville. Remember, my Dad told me EVERYBODY in EVERY service station was out to OVERCHARGE me and TAKE ADVANTAGE of me. So I was gonna let this dude know that I KNEW what he was up to. I do remember him inviting me to have it fixed in Lakeville if I thought the price would be better there. At just barely 22, I didn't have the brains to be offended :). Besides, he was one who could look you right in the eye and very calmly and quietly tell you to go to hell in such a way that it made you look forward to the trip. I got the car fixed, grudgingly paid the bill (to Bill...hehehe), and promptly forgot about him. Who I DID NOT forget about, however, was Bruce. Bruce the handsome mechanic who, if it was a good day for me, would come out to wait on me when I stopped for gas. I stopped for gas a lot.
At that time, I carpooled with a woman who also worked at North Central (soon to be Republic Airlines), and who lived in the apartment across the street from mine with her 14-year-old daughter. She knew who the handsome mechanic was, too, because she was the one who told me his name was Bruce. Only it got to the point that I never, ever got to see this Bruce guy anymore because EVERY SINGLE TIME I WENT IN FOR GAS **cough*to try to get a chance to smile and twinkle at Mr. StudMuffin*cough** there was this other guy that came out to help me. That one, the one that overcharged me. And he was really kinda weird because he always sorta stared at me and would only say, kind of quietly and in a deep voice, "Hello." I wondered what the hell he was staring at anyway--like I had a booger hanging out of my nose or something. And where was Studly, anyway? Finally, one day as my carpooler and I were getting gas, AGAIN from Mr. Silent-Starer-Guy, I asked her who he was because he was the only one I ever saw there anymore. She said, "Oh, that's Bill, he's one of the owners." Ah-ha, it was one of the owners who charged me too much for the thingamajig!
That was not a good time for me. I had really been hurt in that car accident I'd been in on September 22. The kid hit my car so hard on the front end passenger side that, upon impact, the back seat flew up in the front seat, I was thrown forward and my chest hit the steering wheel so hard that it was bent completely sideways, I then took out the rearview mirror with my head and flew into the windshield. It was probably a good thing that I hit the steering wheel and rearview mirror first, or I probably would have gone completely through the windshield. As it was, the windshield indented out perfectly in the shape of my head where it hit, and completely shattered from there. It took a while for everything that was wrong with me to come out, but when it all started happening, it wasn't pleasant. I was going to so many doctors and therapy and chiropractors and having EEGs and what-all, and nobody was doing anything for me. They never did. I mean, no wonder I was probably a little...ummm...ornery :).
That is how I became aware of Bill. Of course, me being me and, at the time, only liking guys who weren't the best for me, I didn't really notice him much except to accuse him of cheating me, and to notice that he had a pretty intense blue-eyed stare and a beard, and to ask him for $5 worth of regular. But that was okay, because the time was not right yet for me to notice him.
And now, switching back to today's KimWorld, all is well. The Tylenol did it's job and I not only found a comfortable position in bed last night, I slept soooo good. And today was a very nice day at work. My biggest complaint today has been that this ridiculously expensive Bumble & Bumble shampoo that I bought last week makes my hair look greasy--which it is NOT, and never has been--and has given me these funny-pimple-feeling bumps on my head. Not a lot of them, but ewwwww...what is that, anyway? And that crap was expensive!!!! So, since that's the worst thing that's happened today, life is not only good, it's great, which is how I like it!
Since this is Friday, I have my date with Kyle and "Friday Night Lights" which is a weekly highlight, and the only show that I have the attention span to sit through. It's his eyes, people! This is kind of funny because I'm usually not all that "into" actors or stars or anything like that--well, except for the wanting to suck George Clooney's lips right off his face (as long as he keeps his mouth shut with his politics). And now with wanting to stare soulfully into Kyle Chandler's eyes all night long. But other than those, I'm not much of a star-gazer. HAHAHAHA!
As for the rest of the weekend; WHATEVER, WHO CARES, IT'S THE WEEKEND AND IT'S ALL GOOD ON THE WEEKEND!!!!!
YAY...
I'm not making excuses, but I do know that it was hard for many VietNam Veterans when they returned home. I saw it with my uncle and his friends who joined the Marines along with him. Bill got back to a family that he didn't know all that well, tried to adjust to life where he wasn't the Sargeant that bossed everybody around, and move forward from killing and watching friends be killed. That's a lot. He was the first one, later on in "our" years, to admit that he wasn't a good husband then. He worked too much, he drank too much, and he didn't talk enough. They didn't know each other that well, and what she did know of him "before" wasn't necessarily what he was when he got out of the Army. It's my opinion that the marriage was probably doomed from the beginning, but I don't think anybody going into it wants to think that. And if it starts looking that way, some people try to fix it with another baby. Hello, Tracy.
Bill was ALWAYS a car guy. Before cars, it was his bike. As a kid, he would completely dismantle his bike a couple of times a year and clean everything, grease it all, and do whatever else boys who do that sort of thing do. It's a mystery to me; I can't even load a dishwasher :). He bought his first car when he was 14; the car didn't have an engine, but it was a car. Not too long after getting the car shell, he bought a non-working engine from somebody in the neighborhood for something like $20, and hauled it home in a wagon. With the help of his sister's boyfriend who was an ace mechanic, they rebuilt the engine, popped it into the car shell and, voila, there was his first car. He used to sit in it in the driveway and listen to the radio and when he could get away with it, he would back it up and then drive it back up the driveway. Isn't that cute? When he got his first job, it wasn't surprising that it was at a service station and it wasn't long before he was doing all of the tows, changing oil and doing minor repairs on cars. It was completely natural ability for him and he loved it. He worked at that job until the Army, and then spent time in the Motor Pool in the Army. I don't know exactly what the time frame was when he got out of the Army, but at some point he started working with a guy who had plans to buy his own station, so they teamed up on that in some way. Again, I don't know a whole lot of details about how they arrived at that, what their arrangement was, but I can say that he was ALWAYS there, because that is where I met him.
Although he could probably tell you the exact date of that first meeting, if he was alive, I can't. As close as I can come is to say that it was late 1978 because I DO remember that I was wearing my London Fog trench coat with the winter insert in it. I remember what I said to him and what a pain in the ass I must have been, but it did get his attention. He always said that he immediately thought I was cute and the fact that I was a little bit of a bitch made me even more fetching. HAHA--no, what he really said was that I seemed able to take care of myself with no problem and that I was cute. Thank God he never said he remembered me because I was cute and had big boobs because I would've killed him if he said that. "Seemed able to take care of myself" sounds much better :). What I did was, when he gave me the estimate for what it would cost to put a new thingamajig on that damn Maverick, I told him in a really snotty way that I thought he was charging me way too much and that I could get it done much cheaper in Lakeville. Remember, my Dad told me EVERYBODY in EVERY service station was out to OVERCHARGE me and TAKE ADVANTAGE of me. So I was gonna let this dude know that I KNEW what he was up to. I do remember him inviting me to have it fixed in Lakeville if I thought the price would be better there. At just barely 22, I didn't have the brains to be offended :). Besides, he was one who could look you right in the eye and very calmly and quietly tell you to go to hell in such a way that it made you look forward to the trip. I got the car fixed, grudgingly paid the bill (to Bill...hehehe), and promptly forgot about him. Who I DID NOT forget about, however, was Bruce. Bruce the handsome mechanic who, if it was a good day for me, would come out to wait on me when I stopped for gas. I stopped for gas a lot.
At that time, I carpooled with a woman who also worked at North Central (soon to be Republic Airlines), and who lived in the apartment across the street from mine with her 14-year-old daughter. She knew who the handsome mechanic was, too, because she was the one who told me his name was Bruce. Only it got to the point that I never, ever got to see this Bruce guy anymore because EVERY SINGLE TIME I WENT IN FOR GAS **cough*to try to get a chance to smile and twinkle at Mr. StudMuffin*cough** there was this other guy that came out to help me. That one, the one that overcharged me. And he was really kinda weird because he always sorta stared at me and would only say, kind of quietly and in a deep voice, "Hello." I wondered what the hell he was staring at anyway--like I had a booger hanging out of my nose or something. And where was Studly, anyway? Finally, one day as my carpooler and I were getting gas, AGAIN from Mr. Silent-Starer-Guy, I asked her who he was because he was the only one I ever saw there anymore. She said, "Oh, that's Bill, he's one of the owners." Ah-ha, it was one of the owners who charged me too much for the thingamajig!
That was not a good time for me. I had really been hurt in that car accident I'd been in on September 22. The kid hit my car so hard on the front end passenger side that, upon impact, the back seat flew up in the front seat, I was thrown forward and my chest hit the steering wheel so hard that it was bent completely sideways, I then took out the rearview mirror with my head and flew into the windshield. It was probably a good thing that I hit the steering wheel and rearview mirror first, or I probably would have gone completely through the windshield. As it was, the windshield indented out perfectly in the shape of my head where it hit, and completely shattered from there. It took a while for everything that was wrong with me to come out, but when it all started happening, it wasn't pleasant. I was going to so many doctors and therapy and chiropractors and having EEGs and what-all, and nobody was doing anything for me. They never did. I mean, no wonder I was probably a little...ummm...ornery :).
That is how I became aware of Bill. Of course, me being me and, at the time, only liking guys who weren't the best for me, I didn't really notice him much except to accuse him of cheating me, and to notice that he had a pretty intense blue-eyed stare and a beard, and to ask him for $5 worth of regular. But that was okay, because the time was not right yet for me to notice him.
And now, switching back to today's KimWorld, all is well. The Tylenol did it's job and I not only found a comfortable position in bed last night, I slept soooo good. And today was a very nice day at work. My biggest complaint today has been that this ridiculously expensive Bumble & Bumble shampoo that I bought last week makes my hair look greasy--which it is NOT, and never has been--and has given me these funny-pimple-feeling bumps on my head. Not a lot of them, but ewwwww...what is that, anyway? And that crap was expensive!!!! So, since that's the worst thing that's happened today, life is not only good, it's great, which is how I like it!
Since this is Friday, I have my date with Kyle and "Friday Night Lights" which is a weekly highlight, and the only show that I have the attention span to sit through. It's his eyes, people! This is kind of funny because I'm usually not all that "into" actors or stars or anything like that--well, except for the wanting to suck George Clooney's lips right off his face (as long as he keeps his mouth shut with his politics). And now with wanting to stare soulfully into Kyle Chandler's eyes all night long. But other than those, I'm not much of a star-gazer. HAHAHAHA!
As for the rest of the weekend; WHATEVER, WHO CARES, IT'S THE WEEKEND AND IT'S ALL GOOD ON THE WEEKEND!!!!!
YAY...
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