The Main Thing?

Ever heard this question:  How do you keep the Main Thing the Main Thing?  It's the wrong question.  In other words, how do you keep God God?  If God IS the Main Thing, why are we trying to DO anything to Him?

A lot of the struggles of the American church come right down to the fact that the members feel they must "do" something in order to be a Christian.  People are constantly saying, "I'll pray, but what can I DO for you that is more useful than praying?"  I also struggle with  waiting on the Lord - being patient for the next step in our lives and so I would rather DO something proactive than wait on His word.  

When I served in East Asia, I noticed that the animistic and Buddhist nationals feel that sacrificing a bottle of Coke, some fruit or money is an active way they can DO something in their lives.  Each one wanted an idol in their own home so they could actively DO things to appease the gods, or if they didn't have an idol, they would make one out of a rock or a tree.  It was nothing to see food - a bowl of rice, fruit, or a bottle of coke - laying beside a special rock in a village.  Even after a person dies, they don't just sit around and grieve, they walk the body through the streets, burning incense, burning fake money and banging cymbals in order to give the dead spirit a fighting chance in the afterlife.

When someone asked recently why the Israelites would want Aaron to create an idol while Moses was with God,  I couldn't help but think about how long they had been waiting in silence and how much they wanted to just DO something.  They obviously thought Moses was dead, but in the end how different was their desire than my very own?  Or the other Christians I work with here in America?  Or even the unbelievers and believers in East Asia?  

Besides the fact that the Israelites wanted to be like the other nations (in so many ways), I really feel that we all struggle with resting in His grace and waiting on Him.  And the way that we see that in our own culture is in how we replace resting in Him with being busy in "Christian" work; creating our own idols.

So, how do you keep the Main Thing the Main Thing?  You don't.  Rest in Him and He will guide you, not the other way around.

Adoption

This week we had new and unusual feelings surface regarding our adoption with Carolina.  

There is a group visiting here from China and have had the privilege of spending time with them and getting to know them.  Carolina has especially taken to one particular woman and has enjoyed hearing Chinese and enjoyed the doting she has received.  I have to admit, I was a little surprised they took to her the way they did - usually it is the white children that get the attention because they are different than what the Chinese people have seen before.  But Carolina has demanded their FULL attention.

The women, in particular, have asked me a lot of questions regarding Carolina's history.  Was she in an orphanage?  Are her birth parents dead? How old was she when she came to America?  Does she speak Mandarin?  Does she speak Cantonese?    

I was happy to answer all of their questions and even add more of my own narrative to it.  I described how little she was when she came, how she loves to eat until food comes out of her ears, how she does speak some Mandarin but no Cantonese...I gave them all the details. Including how she was left on a doorstep and found by caring doctors who called the police and subsequently brought her to an orphanage.  

Our mixed emotions came during a company picnic when Carolina preferred to be carried and served dinner by her favorite Chinese woman.  She rested on her hip and played with her hair while sharing stories of the bouncy houses and otter swimming in the habitat at the top of Grandfather Mountain.  

Bill leaned over to me while we were standing in line and said, "I don't like this."  

"It's okay," I told him.  "She needs to be with people who look like her and speak her heart language."  

But, I felt the same way.  I may have had the logic in my head, but my heart was screaming, "GRAB HER BACK!! She may prefer them over you!"  

Wow.  I was not prepared for that, and neither was Bill.

Throughout dinner, Carolina was sitting on their laps enjoying hugs and lots of food from the women.  A little bit afterwards, though, she ran over to me and just said simply, "I love you, Mama."  

That made me feel a lot better, but shortly afterwards she was holding the Chinese woman's hand and dragging her back to the bouncy houses.  Wow, there I was, again, feeling insecure about Carolina's love.  

(Side note:  I am leaving out the relationship this woman and I built BECAUSE of Carolina...how we were holding hands and laughing and speaking in Mandarin together about the stuff that matters.)

On the way home, after saying our goodbyes and lots of hugs and kisses (and, "see you on Sunday" talk), Bill and I spoke more openly about our feelings.  He told me straight up that he does not trust Carolina's affection.  He said it made him very nervous to allow her to make friends and even fall in love with a Chinese woman like that.  

It's ridiculous, right?  What do we have to fear?  At the end of the day, she is still ours.  Legally and in our hearts.  Nobody can snatch her from us.  But...well, we know that she could eventually stray.  When she is a teenager, or even a pre-teen, she could have feelings of wanting to find her birth mother (we expect this) or just decide she plain doesn't like us and resent us for her upbringing.  We have all of these fears and more.  

As I was thinking and talking this through with Bill, it occurred to me that I am also adopted.  Adopted by my Heavenly Father who already knows that my affection can't be trusted.  I can stray from Him and be distracted by something a little sparkly over to the side, or something that takes up more of my attention, which will cause me to momentarily forget that He is still there, filled with love and waiting patiently for my return.  

We can't trust Carolina's affection, it's true.  God can't trust ours either.  I have proven that over and over.

But God...He is my Father.  He has adopted me into His family and I am His, no matter what comes in my path to distract my affections, He always loves me.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." Ephesians 1:3-6

 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16

Summer

Having fun with a dear friend at Marbles Museum in Raleigh

Summer is flying by just as I thought it would - faster than any of us want.  We're not even done with June and July is already booked up.  I am grabbing moments here and there to finish old projects or organize new ones, but it's still not enough time.

We have been busy seeking God's will on so many levels in our home.  We are still waiting to hear about the little girl Sam sponsored with the Children's Heart Project.  She is scheduled to have surgery in August some time and we are faithfully praying for her.  Carolina's biggest desire is that this little girl get a large cupcake after her surgery.  Apparently she's under the impression that if a child has surgery, they need a large cupcake.  Sam, on the other hand, is praying for her to have fun at the hospital and enjoy her surgeon.  It's sweet, really, to see their differing perspectives.

While we wait on her surgery, and by then the new year will be in full-swing, we are working on all kinds of fun train-type activities all summer long.  Carolina is learning her alphabet and has been reading short sentences.  She gets ahead of herself when she gets excited and starts making up words when she isn't quite sure what she's reading, but that's to be expected.  Sam is designing train tracks, visiting Tweetsie, studying about trains, engineers and every type of car that goes with a train.

We have made huge changes to our diet since April and are all feeling better for it.  You probably already know that we got rid of our microwave a couple years ago, but now we're limiting our processed food as well and eating more "whole foods."  It has changed the children's behavior a lot and we are also feeling more energetic and focused.

So, homeschooling, cloth diapering, microwave-less, eating whole foods and who knows what else, it's all a part of life in Boone and just the beginning of better habits our children will be taking with them into adulthood.

The Iris

A letter to Sam's Kindergarten teacher on Teacher's Appreciation Day:

There is a story behind this iris.  I wanted to share the beauty of the flower, as well as what God has shown me through it.

We were home from serving overseas on our Stateside Assignment and grew very close to an elderly woman at our church in Raleigh.  She asked Bill to come to a relative's house and dig up some iris bulbs to plant at the house where we were staying.  He did, and that very day was the day Sam had his first seizure at just 10 months-old.  The iris bulbs became forgotten for weeks.

I had viral meningitis on the day (three days after the seizure) Sam was diagnosed.  The last thing we could think about was planting those bulbs.  Then one day, I realized we would have to plant some of them so they wouldn't die.  I did.

I left the rest, about five, to rot in a plastic bag on our back doorstep.  Months later, and after a harsh winter by Raleigh standards, Bill took the job with Samaritan's Purse and we began our move to Boone.  I picked up the bag in March and saw that the irises were growing.  I shoved the bag in the floorboard of my car, as an afterthought, and dragged them to Boone.

We didn't buy a house until late July and they sat, again, in their plastic bag to rot and die.  I found them in late August and planted them, because, somehow, they were STILL growing.

The next year, around this time of year, I saw that they were blooming.  The most beautiful purple irises I'd ever seen.  God showed me something that Spring.  It took me almost a year and a half to realize it, but He showed me that I am like this iris.  Bill is too.  But especially Sam.

We battered a storm during those 18 months.  Many hospitalizations, almost losing our only child countless times, our marriage struggled, our prayer lives were tested, and we had to acknowledge that Sam is God's and He can take him any time.  It was brutal.  Those irises battered a storm too.  Bad weather, no soil to nurture them, no oxygen in a plastic bag that was unprotected from the elements.

But God made each of those bulbs.  Because He made them, He protected them and they stand today as blossoms in my garden.  A testimony of His love, His protection, His grace, His faithfulness to His creation.

Just as I do.  As Bill does.  And as Sam has blossomed and lived, so does he. I am sharing this blossom with you because you are also a testimony of God's love, protection, grace, and faithfulness to His creation.

Thank you for sharing that with my family.  With me.  And with Sam, my firstborn son, who is not really mine at all.

Love,

Teesa

What has God been doing?

Read all about it here.

"Three Hearts" Winners!

The winners of the "Three Hearts" DVD from the Children's Heart Project with Samaritan's Purse are:

Susan H. (so glad to hear from you!)
Karen (you are going to LOVE this, but it will be difficult to watch at some points)
Laura F. (would love to catch up)
saspinall (you are right, you may have to sit on this movie for a bit before watching it, but you won't be disappointed)

If you haven't sent me your mailing address yet, just leave a comment for me here and I won't publish it.  Samaritan's Purse will mail you the DVDs.  Thanks so much for participating in the giveaway!

Giveaway

Check the post below for a giveaway.  I am moderating comments, so it may take a few days for it to appear, but I will definitely get to them!

If you want to leave me a way to get in touch with you (email) so we can send you a DVD, just let me know and I won't publish it.

Three Hearts

Many of you know my son, Sam, has Brugada Syndrome, an arrhythmia of the heart.  If you haven't read his story, you can find it on the sidebar.  Sam's particular heart issue is an electrical one, which means that no surgery to his actual heart can fix the problem, not even a heart transplant.  He was born with one heart and he will die with the same.

However, he was given a chance to live when his cardiologist strongly suggested implanting a defibrillator at the tender age of 10 months-old.  

Now, four years later, he lives a typical five year-old's life.  He climbs trees, plays soccer, goes to school, reads books and loves his family and friends.  He has even chosen to believe in Jesus as his Savior and will be baptized on Easter morning.  He lives because of God's hand in his little life.  We are stronger because of the path the Lord has chosen for us to walk.  I have friends I would never have made were it not for this difficult, arduous and wonderful road in our lives.  And, in everything I do, I give the honor and glory back to the Lord for leading us in times that I thought I could never live through.  

I was recently asked to review a new movie from the Samaritan's Purse Children's Heart Project.  CHP helps provide children, in countries where medical care is not advanced, the opportunity to receive life-saving heart surgeries.  As you know, I am very passionate about educating the public concerning children's heart conditions, so I gladly accepted.  

My husband warned me before I watched it though.  He told me when they have shown bits and pieces of the movie during their devotional time at Samaritan's Purse, he has had to get up and walk out on more than one occasion.  It is just so hard to remember what Sam went through and think about any precious child going through something similar.

"Three Hearts" follows three Mongolian children, and their mothers, who come to the United States through Children's Heart Project to receive surgeries.  Two of the children, one is three years-old and the other 16, live in very rural areas of Mongolia, while the third who is 18 years-old, lives in Ulaanbaatar.  They are filtered, for lack of a better word, through a pediatric cardiologist at the Maternal & Child Hospital in Ulaanbaatar as at risk for sudden death.  I was surprised when I learned that there are 200 children currently on the waiting list for the Children's Heart Project.  Honestly, I can't even imagine having to be the one who decides which children will make the final cut.  

The movie was beautifully made.  I enjoyed watching each of these families and their progression through this difficult season in their lives. I loved hearing that Children's Heart Project not only chooses the children carefully, but also the host families in America as well.  And, to go a step further, they choose a strong church associated with the host families.  It's not just the host families, but the church family who embrace these children and their mothers.  It's a true picture of God's family and how we are called to meet the needs of others.  I was impressed, though through tears, that CHP chose to include (and honor) the memory of a little girl who did not make it after her surgery.  

I will warn you, there are a few graphic scenes in the operating room.  My children watched some of the movie with me and Sam was moved to tears on more than one occasion (they did not watch the graphic scenes), but was brought to laughter as well.  His favorite scene was watching Toggie, the three year-old pictured above, playing with running water in Texas.  She lives in the South Gobi desert, so running water was a new and wondrous miracle for her.  She kept splashing her face with it, giggling all the while.  The scene reminded me of the innocence of this child; she has a life-threatening heart condition and still sees the newness in everything around her AND enjoys it.  I can learn a lesson or two from her.

If you would like to see this movie too, I'll be giving away five copies.  Just leave me a comment and let me know why this subject is important to you or why you are interested in seeing the movie.  The giveaway will end on March 20th at midnight and I'll announce the winners on my blog on the 21st.

Follow Children's Heart Project on Facebook

Watch the trailer 

Buy a copy

Grafting

We have this old Weeping Willow in our yard.  I have always thought willow trees were beautiful - the way they droop down and create a curtain of beauty surrounding the trunk.  I've seen them get so weighed down with snow and ice that they fall, but I know the one we have in our yard has already withstood many a harsh winter, even since we moved in.

As my children were climbing in the tree recently, I noticed that there are parts that have grown into other parts.   I felt like the Lord spoke directly to my heart - like in Romans 11.

16...if the root is holy, the branches are too. ¹⁷ But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, being a wild olive, were grafted in among them and became partaker with them of the rich root of the olive tree, ¹⁸ do not be arrogant toward the branches; but if you are arrogant, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you. ¹⁹ You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” ²⁰ Quite right, they were broken off for their unbelief, but you stand by your faith. Do not be conceited, but fear; ²¹ for if God did not spare the natural branches, He will not spare you, either. ²² Behold then the kindness and severity of God; to those who fell, severity, but to you, God’s kindness, if you continue in His kindness; otherwise you also will be cut off. ²³ And they also, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. ²⁴ For if you were cut off from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and were grafted contrary to nature into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these who are the natural branches be grafted into their own olive tree?

Although I know that Paul was speaking to the Jews, I felt like their situation could certainly apply in our life.  I looked at this tree, this branch that was "eaten up", as my children say, by the tree and I realized that as much as I am that way in God's family, Carolina is that way in our immediate family.  Ephesians 1:5-6 says, "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved."


Once we are adopted into His family, we are part of it and if we try to remove ourselves it will leave great damage, like trying to remove a toe or an arm.  Carolina has been adopted into our family and is a permanent member.  Just as this branch on our willow tree has been grafted into the trunk, Carolina has been grated into our family and is an important part of our body. The root is rich and holy.  

This tree is an important reminder of God's love for her and for me (and His children).  

Just for Kicks

The kids and I have enjoyed watching The Pioneer Woman's new TV show on the Food Network lately.  I never really followed her blog (I still don't...not really), but my BFF gave me her cookbook for my birthday a couple years ago and I have seriously enjoyed everything I have made of hers.  So, when the children saw this broccoli and cheese soup, they immediately wanted to make it and make it NOW!

Since I normally don't cater to their every whim, I went grocery shopping that day but didn't actually make it until a couple days later.  I have to say, this recipe was a hit.  Not only was it delicious, but we also got to EAT our bowls.  What child doesn't enjoy something like that?  And I didn't just get a bread bowl, I bought pretzel hamburger buns that we turned into bowls.  The perfect size for little bellies (maybe a little too much, but Carolina didn't seem to think so) and a lovely compliment to the creamy soup.  I also added another cup of cheese and added some local ham that I had sauteed a little.

In the words of Yo Gabba Gabba, "Try it, you'll like it."

Yum.

Life Changes

Well, life changes because our kids are growing up too fast.  I find that I have three children who are absolutely refusing to stop growing.  No matter how many times I stomp my feet, ball up my fists and demand that they stop growing, they refuse to obey me.

So, I just have to roll with the punches, get out the next sized bin of clothes from the attic, buy new shoes that may or may not fit two months from now and enjoy the scenery as everything changes around me.  I miss my babies, but I am really enjoying this new stage of life we are in.

Just the other day, I taught Sam to throw a Frisbee and now he can throw it better than I can.  We spent about an hour just throwing it back and forth in the yard on a beautiful afternoon.

Then the weekend came and he grew up more.  He sat down to breakfast and I asked him how his loose tooth was doing.  He said it was fine, pulled his bottom lip down to show me and it was gone.  Not only had he lost his first tooth, but he had, in fact, swallowed it as well.  Good times good times.

And Carolina?  I can't even begin to describe the amazing changes I see in my only daughter.  She is so verbal now, people who haven't seen her in a while don't recognize her. She's taller and  has a little less pudge around her belly (where's my baby fat going???).  She is an amazing big sister, very responsible, organized (well, when she wants to be) and extremely loving.  She has a hysterical sense of humor too.  Just today the children were playing a little game where I would call out an animal and they would run to me acting like that animal.  She got so tickled she literally could not lift her arms up and could barely move across the floor.  She got Sam and Hudson laughing so hard they were in a similar predicament.  What an angel.

Then there's Hudson.  Not so verbal, but extremely bright, very obedient, physical, and, well, a bit melodramatic at times.  He may not look like me, but he certainly has my personality traits.  He's a serious little guy, but when he finds something funny, it is consistently funny.  He is only ticklish when he chooses to be.  He loves being outside, especially in the snow.  We had three inches of snow this morning and I let the children leave the house just before me while I grabbed my bag so we could run to the pediatrician's office.  Thirty seconds after they were outside, Hudson was already halfway up a steep hill IN THE SNOW headed for a sled.  He didn't care that he had snow on his face, mittens, pants - no, that didn't matter.  What mattered was that he was in it, touching it, feeling it, playing in it.  You should have seen the tantrum that ensued when I tried to strap him into his car seat afterwards.  On second thought, I'm glad that wasn't too public.


All that to say, things are changing.  Life is changing.  But we are enjoying it.  Every moment.

Re-post on English Muffins

Since there has been a lot of talk about the English Muffin recipe I posted several years ago, I wanted to re-post it.

Here is the recipe:

English Muffins

Mix and let stand 5 minutes:

1 T yeast

2 T sugar

1/2 cup warm water

Add and mix well:

1 1/2 cups warm milk

1/4 cup oil

1 t salt

3 cups flour

Add and knead in:

3 cups flour (you can use whole wheat flour here to make whole wheat muffins)

Let rise. Roll out dough and cut into 3 inch circles. Place on a cookie sheet sprinkled with a little cornmeal. Let rise 1 inch high. Cook on a heavy ungreased griddle, turning at least three times until both sides are brown. Split open with a fork.

First, I want to encourage those of you who don't think you can do this. Yes you can! This is a very simple recipe, as bread recipes go, and requires very little effort on your part. If you have a mixer with a kneading attachment, it will make it even easier. If not, the only real effort you will expend is muscle energy.

As mentioned in my previous post, this recipe has yeast in it, to help the bread rise. If you use the right temperature of water (between 105 and 120F), the yeast should activate and look like the above photo.

I mixed the milk, salt, oil and flour then slowly added the yeast mixture. I used my KitchenAid kneading attachment and slowly mixed everything together.
Then I added the three cups of whole wheat flour and kneaded for about five more minutes. I transfered the dough to a greased Pyrex dish and covered it with plastic wrap, then placed it in my warm oven. You don't need to warm the oven, but it helps it rise a little faster.

About an hour later, I pulled it out and found it had risen perfectly.

It was the perfect situation for little hands to be involved. I try to include Sam every time I bake bread and punching down the dough is one of his favorite past times.

Then we rolled it out - another joy of Sam's. He is such a great helper.

Finally, we cut out little circles and placed them on a couple cookie sheets with some cornmeal sprinkled on them. I covered them with kitchen towels and set them aside for another half hour.
Once they were about an inch tall, I put them on my warmed cast iron skillet. I love my skillet and use it at least one time every day - it is so versatile.

The end result: perfectly browned whole wheat English muffins - made with fresh goat's milk for that extra nutrition. We ate them with smoked beef brisket, butternut squash bisque and fresh Swiss chard from the local Farmer's Market.

Year in Review

As I ponder what is to come in the next year, I was reminded of this post where our family each chose one word to focus on throughout 2011.  My word was "listen" which I feel has really come to a head in the last couple of weeks.  I have been listening to the Lord and have heard Him speak to me in beautiful and creative ways.  Besides through His word, which has been encouraging, comforting and specifically speaking to our situation, other people, my children and books have helped me to hear my Father speak to my heart.

I starting reading the book Radical by David Platt and my life was changed.  Bill also had a huge change in his heart after reading the book.  While overly simplistic in many ways, the main points of the book speak to the commandment that we have received from the Lord as Christians.

I do not know what is going to happen in the upcoming months or year, but I do know that I choose to continue listening.  I desire to hear Him more now that I have heard Him so clearly and so often.

One accomplishment I am proud of from 2011 is reading through the New Testament.  I am starting the Old Testament in 2012, but it will be a two year plan for me (I figure there's no hurry).  I love reading through His word - and it is amazing how fresh and new I find everything that I have read before as I read it again.


But, for the year 2012, what one word will I choose for our family, overall?  Offhand I think I'll choose SLEEP.  Sleep seems to evade us.  Hudson is one of those rare kids who can't cry because if he does cry for more than three minutes he will vomit.  So, we have to keep him close and snuggle often.  It's not such a bad prescription for his issue, but it does mean lots of waking up overnight and very little sleep.  I hope our entire family will sleep more in 2012.

What's your word?