deep sigh from a live in hermit

As some of you may or may not know I am a hermit in disguise.  I love to be home and spend time at home.  I can curl up with a good book, movie, puzzle, playing with the girls, pretty much anything.  I'm afraid as of late that I am teaching my beautiful almost 4 year old how to be a hermit.  A part of me feels bad as I honestly don't know how to break out of this hermit stage I live in.  How do you open up to people when being home is a complete new life to me and I feel like an imbecile towards anything mum related.


My question is, should I feel bad about this?  Should I be pushing her more to play with her friends when there are days she just wants to stay home & be in her jammies all day?  I feel bad that I don't have the faith or trust in myself to handle a bundle of little girls to manage their drama without interference or that I want to shield her from being hurt.


Anywho, youngest is crawling & crying now.  One day I'll get back on & write more.

Most days are good at home. What with the change of me being a stay at home mum and sometimes feeling like I'm a single mum. (Those day's are only when hubby is in school.) I've noticed a trend with me. I tend to write/post when mylife seems at the hardest and I can't decide to cry from it or scream.

The last few months we've had the bonus of a severance being paid every two weeks. Well, that is ending and we are truly a one income family and it scares me!  I know I'm still contributing to our family by raising our two kids but it is still wierd. Like I am not contributing enough. I grew up with both my parents working, to me that is the norm, not one staying home.

I am trying to still do things for me  (so I still can have an identity). Just recently, ok, this week. I have started excercising. Wow, did it kill me, my muscles till hurt and it as only a 30 minute workout!!  I'm still trying to convince myself of waking up earlier, which is so not me!! Definitely not a morning person. But, I'm trying to convince myself that this will give me the quiet time I need to myself to keep my sanity.

I do miss the time it had with my hubby, but I knew going into this that it would be a rough couple of years while he finished school. I didn't think about the after math. What happens when he's done with school. I just hope things work out. Even though I don't see a solution right away I know that there will be one. I have to keep believing that this change is better for our family. Even if I do have many days that I just want to cry or curl up in my bed & hide from the world.

We have done a few things around the house. We painted a bathroom and even made a chalkboard/magnetic dinner calendar for our kitchen! Aside from that us girls are still trying to. Come up with a few more crafty things to do.

Wow, a year already!

First off, let me say sorry. I'm a big slacker and the last year has flown by extremely fast.  Where to start is the question.

We have a new addition in our family. Another beautiful little girl. Born on May 12th just a few days apart from her older sister. (May 7). I was able to stay home for a few months then go back to work for a few months, then stay home for good. Still deciding if that is a good thing or not. 

My work is sadly no longer with Layne. We were giving the opportunity to move with the company to Texas. We seriously tried to see if it would be financially good for us to move and came to the conclusion that we'd be moving for a job only and that wasn't a good enough reason to move. Especially when we have such a strong supportive family here still. 

So my days of being a stay at home mom is a bit interesting. I'm still trying to get used to being home with two girls and a somewhat part time daddy. That's the other change in our life. Daddy has gone back to school!!! Which I am SO incredibly proud of him for doing so. Granted it sucks at the moment, we don't get to see much of Daddy as he is either at night school or home doing his homework. So we cherish the weekends and the opportunity to be  with Daddy!!

Some good news, tori is potty trained!!!! This did happen theorist few weeks of my staying home. So. She's been out of I diapers for about a month now!!!!

So aside from losing my job and becoming a single mother (it seems) our life has become pretty normal. Us girls are attempting to get into a routine between doing crafts, keeping the house clean, playing & watching movies (we do this a lot). Hopefully one of these days/months I'll come up with a schedule and actually stick with it. 

Just a few pictures...they make me happy

Tori

I have to admit I'm happy I wasn't hubby today.  Sweet darling Tori came home, and wanted her suit on.  So we changed her diaper to a swim diaper (yes we're still in diapers) and started getting her swim suit on.  Shortly after the suit is on she doesn't want it, so we change her back to real clothes and the two (hubby and Tori) go outside for a bit.

Maybe 5 minutes later they both come in after Tori relieved herself outside.  Apparently the swim diaper doesn't do much as far as holding liquid in!!  Into tubby goes Tori, hubby quickly changes clothes.

Such excitement at my house.