Back to School...back to school...

Soo sorry for the delay of the blog...Dustin and Amy's Wedding was Fun, San Digeo With the Sheas was Fun, and my Trip to Indiana was fun! So all around it was Fun Summer! I am Happy that I am back in school, except for my math class!!

This will be my third time accepting to do this Math class again...I must tell you everytime I go I just want to die...it's just seems way over my head! I go to class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and then now meeting with a tutor on Tuesday and Thursday plus I meet with Gavin everyday and ask him questions...this class will most likey be the hardest class I ever take in my life but I know that If I keep going I will pass it! I just need to keep going!!

Sorry so Short I have to go to work!

What a Crazzzy Week...

Two funny stories for everyone.....

First was earlier on in the week...I needed to go to the post office to mail some insurance stuff to my parents. Well..I got off work early one day...drove to Gavin's to pick up a package that he needed to be mailed...He was in class and I had offered to pick up Ashley's keys and mail them...well he had left a note saying...PLEASE use my debt card when you take Ashley's package...soo I thought sure whatever I will just pay for it...well....I walked to the post office and I realized that I had forgotten my debt card..soo I thought "Gavin gets his wish!" Sooo I thought I will put one stamp on and pay him the 44c later...well I write Ashley's address down, have the lady put the stamp on...she rings up the total..its $5.55...and the debt card says Mark Gavin Shea 11 or something like that...she then asks to see ID...me thinking on the spot I say "O that's my husband"....Now here is the Diagoue:

Post Office Lady: "I need to see form of ID, showing that this is your husband..."
ME: "I'm sorry I don't have any today with me..."
Post Office Lady: " Welll, I need form of ID showing this is your card..."
ME: "I am mailing this to Ashely English Shea, and Laura Ridge my maiden name...and your telling me this isn't good enough proof?" " Why in the world would I go to the post office spend $5.55 on a package to Ashley and a evelope to my mom?" "I just wanted two blocks here..you want me to walk home drag my husband down here to have he say "yes this is my wife" or go get my drivers license to prove this is me...?
Post Office Lady: "I can see you point, for now on just remember you need prove of idenity next time."
ME: " Thank you!"

ME walking out feeling like a jerk.....and maybe that was wrong of me...

2nd Story happened tonight...
So Gavin really had to go to the bathroom, but he can only use the loungebathroom. Well...it was 12:20am about a half hour before curfew is over...Gavin goes to the bathroom and I am just waiting for him....he is done. We walk to the door and its locked...well thats odd the doors don't lock till 5 mins. before curfew...we keep trying no luck..soo I can my sister Kendra to see if she can open it from the outside no luck...well soo we had to call the managers and get them out of bed to come unlock this other door to let us get out...I felt soo bad and I was worried that we had broken some rule I didn't know about...it turns out that they have been having problems with it locking like that. Anyways...we waited for like 20mins...tell someone could come let us out! It was quite an adverature.

Service

At, the begginging of the semester I had many job offeres to go work at. They weren't night jobs and actually I got payed a little bit more, but I felt very strongly about taking this night job. I had worked nights and hated them before, but I just felt like this is where I needed to go. I don't know many of the reasons why I felt like I should take this job but I did. As, I have been working here, I have learned a great deal about myself and have seen lots of examples in my life. A couple weeks ago, I had a doctors appointment, I didn't want to go but I knew I had to go have my "mini" sugery, sooo I made Gavin come with me. Gavin ran to the bathroom, and I saw this young man walk into the doctors office, I knew I had seen him somewhere but couldn't place it, As he was talking to the secretary, I over heard him he needed to see the doctor today...he was almost in a panic...He dressed funny, wore gloves on his hand and had long sleeves on in the middle of the summer. I saw the doctor come out, give the secertary almost a "laugh" at to laugh at this boy, who felt hurt in some way. I thought that doctor was a jerk...but I quickly forgot it and went to my doctors appointment and never thought of this young man again. But before it left my mind, I had to vent to Gavin, I told him how I thought the doctor was so insincere and I was not impressed with him at all, and how bad I felt about this guy. A couple weeks later, Yesturday, I saw him he was walking through my apartment complex, he was wearing those gloves and another long sleeve shirt. I smiled to think "aww...that man in on a mission" I noticed he stopped at one of my freinds apartments, and so I wanted to kn0w who he was soo I turned to Gavin and said we must follow him. I was soo excited to ask my friend who he was. About 5 mintues later, we see this young man walking back towards us, we had waved and smiled earlier so he must of considered us friends, but as he got closer He looked up set, tired, and sweaty. We invited him to join us and sit down. As, he went on to tell us his story about how he got there, ect. I realized that a friend of mine was blowing him off, I was ashamed to know that she would do something this. I was sad. I was mad. He is a young man, just trying to fit in. My heart broke. I offered to get a pizza and he could join us for dinner, but he was full and only wanted to sit there and rest. He had walked about 10 blocks or more, a very far way. Just to meet this girl for a date, but she blew him off. Gavin offered him a ride home. He was no longer the young man, that I felt sad but how the doctor had treated him. He was now Christopher, our friend. What a brave man he was....he is only taking 9 credits, he has lots of trials in his life. He suffers for OCD, thats why he wears the gloves and long sleeves. He is trying so hard to succeeded. I admire him.
There are many points here that I have learned. But after getting to know Christopher a little more, a light bulb came on and I realized where I knew Chrisopher from, he walks to my work every Monday and adopts a grandpa....I rememerbed last time I saw him he tried to talk to me, and I blew him off because I was in a hurry. As, I look back...I regret so much not taking the 5 mins. to talk to him that day. I have seen him so many times since that day, that I turned my back on him.
After, all of this..I turned to Gavin and said " How many times do pass by someone and not even notice them?" So many times I think my problems are so much worse then someone elses...I think that I am so much busyer than someone else...but I am not! In fact, I think the Lord has placed me in this job to remind me the person I want to be. I want to be the person that leds a helping hand, who gives that person a hug when they are having a bad day, the person we helps pay for a meal because they can't afford it, the person who serves meals, ect. I don't know why I have seen Christopher so much since then, but I feel I have an opporunity to help him or maybe just help myself. I don't know what I am going to do but I know that the Lord will guide me.

BAD HAIR DAY!!

I decided that I would use a different kind of curlers....so while two of my roommates were telling stories of their love lives..my twin and my roommate Mariah put the curlers in. You have to have wet hair and sleep in them..I remember my mother doing this almost every saturday night so that our hair would look good for church. My hair was short then soo of course my hair is short now and therefore it should work and look just as good as I rememeber when I was a little girl. hahah. wrong again! I woke up at 7:00am turned off my alarm rolled back over and went to bed...I got a text from Gavin at 7:40am that woke me up almost an hr later than I wanted to get up. I had to be at work at 8:00am takes ten mins to get there...and that is speeding! sooo I quickly stopped in the shower...and got dressed had two mintues till 7:50am till I had to leave...I thought to myself I will put on my make-up as I drive to work...later did I realize no make-up was going on today....As took out the first curler I see what the first one looks like...I go..."o know" "o know" no way...I don't have time what happened? my hair is ruined! I frantically start hitting the curlers out...they aren't coming out...my cuz Meredith comes in and is laughing says let me help...soo we are both trying to get them out...everytime another curler came out I couldn't cry because I felt like an idoit soo I just laughed harder and harder...well the end project was a mess. My roommates were rolling on the follower...and I was like I have to be at work in ten mintues...I didn't know what else to do. I had to leave. So I grabbed so bobby pins...pinned my hair up on the way to work. It looked like a prom up-do. I wanted to die. How could I take the kids to the park like this?

ps...Be reminded that I went all day like this...and these pictures don't give it justice..and I normally look human...normally my clothes match and I have make-up on.

I must say I am going to go back to my older curlers...they worked great! what a waste of $7.50 for new curlers that made me look crazzzy!

Faith and Relationships

Now, first off to all my little readers..please I beg and I plead with everyone not to compare or think this has anything to do with my personal relationships, now grant some of it will come from my personal life but not everything, so come from the past ect...soo just read and enjoy!

I was up really late the other day, just having a hard night and couldn't sleep, thinking about tons of different things in life...and I have heard this many times but for some reason it touched my heart different this time. In the gospel we talk about having faith. You need to have faith to do this and this and then this will happen. Think about it we only know such a small part of what life is all about, the rest is based upon faith. Which isn't bad, because it's based upon faith it teaches us to follow our Savior and the plan, it shows our willingness to serve him. This life is a test, but it is the easiest test we take but also the hardest test. We have all the answers in front of us but how do we use the answers we have. AND sometimes we don't always know the answers, so we go off of faith.

Now, how does this tie in with our personal relationships. Their are so many different relationships in life, best friends, dating, friends, parents, siblings, ect. Well, we all have different stories of where we come from and why we are the way we are. As, we get older we go through these periods in time, when your older brothers just pick on you, or your older sisters think you are a brat, or your parents get in a divorce. Most of all of us will be in all of those emotions. Part of the plan is eternal families, and sometimes eternal families seems like such a hard goal, its hard work.....sometimes you take the LEAP of faith. Sometimes you say sorry when it's not your fault but it's for a better cause, its for the eternal plan to take the leap of faith, that you are doing everything in your power to do what is right, or trying to mend something that is broken or lost. Many times families are broken because people lack the faith that saying sorry will do any good. It's okay to say sorry even when it's not your fault, you have to faith in the greater cause. When thinking about marriage you must also have faith, you must be willing to know that when you get married that you are willing to scarifice whatever it takes to make it work. You must have faith that they aren't going to cheat on you, that they love you, ect. You can't be doubting the other person you must have faith in the plan. Personal note its not that I don't know all of these things it's just I lack the faith of it all but I am the wrong one, and I am wrong. Faith has always been a hard concept for me, it's not like I can see it but I must have faith in relationships otherwise I will end up destroying the one thing I want more than anything. My relationships are hard, but with all of the ones in my life I love each of them, and I can improve in all of them, I look forwarded to the day when I make the most important relationship step.With all of my relationships in life, I struggle with the power of faith. That the plan was layed out so perfect, that faith is pretty much every where in our life. Don't detroy relationships and families because of the lack of faith we all have.

ps....this might have not made any since..I should of just written it in my journal. O well!

90 Your Old Man

Their are some days that I feel like I can't win with work. Some days I am so tired that I just want to stop working and live off student loans and then hope that my husband makes a lot of money. hahaha. BUT I have made it this far, I must keep going. But one of my favorite things about my night job is...I hate the rest of the night but their is one thing that brings a smile to my face at 5:00am in the morning when I haven't slept yet, and pray that when I get home I will be able to sleep.
I go a check on one of these residents, he is in his 90's he needs help showering every morning, taking his meds, eating, ect...but at 5:00am when I go to check in on him, He has some how managed to crawl out of bed, drag his oxgen tank over to his living room, turn on the light and open his scriptures and read. I don't know how he does it because he can't do anything else for himself. But every morning he does that. And I always walk and he smiles "And says good morning" so simple but brigtens up the day when you have been lonely all night.
I would hope that some day I could be that 90 old man that does that with my scritpures and gosepl life. I think for myself I take for granted the small things in life that I can do. And he can't do the "worldly" large things in life but he can do the "eternal" large things of the world. It's a reminder for myself to check my faith, to see how deciciated I am going to be or how I am. Everyone could use an example of a 90 old man.

UNKNOWN

I have recenlty discovered something about myself, I hate the Unknown. I hate not knowing whats going on in my life and not having control. I use a calendar faithfully, I write down everything I am doing, and I know my plans from week to week, month to month and I use to have year to year planned out. But my life is changing for the good but I no longer know year to year, and have no idea month to month and really don't know week to week anymore. I have my basics, go to church and work, but something always comes up. Something always changes. I realized that this is a hard thing for me to be okay with. I would like to have all my plans figured out for next semester and layed out with dates and ect., but the bottom line is that for once in my life I am clue, I know things will eventually happen, but they change depending on the week and how everything is going. So one week everything is layed out and I am ready for everything but then the next day the tables have all turned. It's actually teaching me some good lessons in life.
Lesson 1: Don't plan on things, Do the things you want to do, and the rest will follow. You can't put off life waiting for things and plans...because it will drive you insane or may never happen.
Lesson 2: Patience! Their is timing for everything. You may no understand what that is but their is, you just have to learn to be okay.
Lesson 3: Be Flexiable, know that things are going to change, no matter how much you don't want them too, you must learn to be okay with the surprises. You can't plan for everything in life.
Lesson 4: Things are going to happen, things you have no control over, don't be upset just go with the punchs. Life doesn't always go as we want it to we can't always control it, but at the end of the day you can put on a smile and just move on.

So moral of the insight of myself, is learn to be okay with the Unknown and you can't control everything. Plan yes, but know things are going to happen. Don't keep life waiting for things, because they may never happen. Just go and in time it will all come. Just be happy with the unknown!