But here's one thing you ought to know; I managed to taste hell while I was gone.
Here's a recap on this side of the grave. Heh.
I was still a mess until it reached the night of 9th February. There, confessions were spoken out and it had opened my eyes to see the real world. Gravity had brought me down back on land while hope was completely destroyed. Powerful anger caused by painful months had led to fights and tears to occur. I had begged for freedom but it was easier to ask than actually do it. I was very much confused between what was right and what was not. You would know the feeling if you have lived in a lie for several months too. For some reason, it was too strong for me to fight it. Thus, second chance was given and he was on probation as trust, loyalty and other important things were needed to be gained.
In the same month, several good mates and I have decided to do something different for the first time. We grabbed the opportunity that we had to spend the day by the river at Sg Sendat. Who would have thought that it could turn out to be one of the most exciting days so far.
I would name the following month as the healing phase. As far as I could remember, March was not full of dramas as before. Oh wait, there was this particular one though! One that I never thought I would be facing at this age; pregnancy. No, it didn't happen to me silly! No details are needed here. You don't need to know more. However, that incident had definitely opened up a new world to me. Who would have thought that this phenomena is actually a common thing among the other crowd ey? Such a pitiful thing to go through, to be honest. Why don't they get it that the creation of that little one is actually a miracle! And don't get me started with twins. Haih. I would say I had faced unnecessary pressure at that moment. & OMG I friggin' missed Paramore concert oooookayyyy! How f-ed up is that, uh! Trust me, I tried my best to go across the country and rock out, but there were too many complications. Note to self : never let boys to do the job.. any jobs.
The starting of April was good I think. All I could think of right now is that I had gone for a course dinner in campus organized by the Business club committee, which involved him. As a supportive someone to him, I decided to stay around for another night in campus when I could have gone back with a friend of mine that afternoon. I don't regret it though, cause I knew it meant something for him. As time passed by, it was already the final week of semester four. Can you believe it? It has been two years already I've entered college and it still feels like it was just yesterday I had my college orientation! The unfortunate part of it, is that I had tests back to back, everyday in the last week of semester! UH, it was torturing I tell you. Even worse, I was not allowed to come back home during study leave while everyone else was happily on their home-beds. Yet, I was thankful of what I've done (or what I was told to do). It was for my own good, thanks love ♥Finals took about three weeks and it ended on the 7th May. Even
during finals, there were memories created, that would permanently be on my mind forever. And I mean it. Besides that, the whole of "lets meet my parents instead of my friends" happened too. How odd and shocking ey! Oh, did I mention that I have complete fucked my finals up? Yup, I did and fuck, I hate this feeling. I know damn well I'm going to disappoint them again. Thanks a lot to the long gap between papers and procrastination of course, huh!Semester break had begun since the past two weeks. Yet, I'm still lazing around at home and simply taking advantage of the time that I have to spend it with ma loved ones. And I'm loving it! (:
Cause this is love; my first.
And I don't care about judgments any longer.
