June 30, 2012June 30, 2012 Leigh Statham

Day 22 – Crazy Horse & Mt Rushmore

Holy smoke signals Batman! Once again we’ve packed so much into one day I’m afraid it would take four blogs to cover it all.

Last night we crash landed in a tiny town in WY with surprisingly nice bathrooms. Then we were up with the dawn and zooming through Big Horn National Forest on our way to Mt Rushmore.

Unfortunately we did not spot any big horn sheep or llamas today, and we’ve seen so many antelope we can’t really count them in our exotic animal spotting game. We did see some deer , however, both alive and dead. Which made me wonder about the difference in damage to your car of you hit a deer going 70 vs 50. The difference to the deer seemed to be only a slightly less mangled body.

Welcome to South Dakota! One of a very few states left in the union that I have not visited. I have to admit, I kind of fell in love with the Precambrian west side and marveled at the vast oceans of crops to the East. Where do these farmers live??? There are no houses, just rocks and corn for light years.

Mt. Rushmore is awesome, more than I could have hoped for. As an artist I fell instantly in love with the magnitude of the sculptures alone. As a tourist I was happy as a clam swimming in a sea of foreign languages and “One Day Only!” bargain t-shirts. Heaven!!

The hike was short and fun, the exhibits to the point and interesting. The guides all had excellent voices perfect for Disney movies – I just can’t recommend this stop enough for a family vacation in the middle of nowhere.

Then there is Crazy Horse. Just a few miles down the road from Rushmore, it is a privately funded memorial to the Native Americans and their story. I had heard it was worth seeing, so we swung by. I was presently surprised to find it not only interesting, but completely breathtaking.

Just to give you an idea of it’s size, all four of the presidents on Rushmore could fit onto Crazy Horses’ forehead like a bad-a tattoo. The hole under his unfinished arm is ten stories high. The marble statue in the foreground of the photo is what the monument will look like when complete. The actual monument in the background is six miles away. CRAZY!!!

For more information, see Google.

After a morning dodging deer on the road, an afternoon of hiking and noshing, we hit the highway and made good use of the 75 mph speed limits. We were hoping to get close to whatever the next state is… Ah… Minnesoooooota! Yes! But we didn’t. With four wee ones to care for, the drive is never as quick as you think it will be, but is ten times more exciting!

Epic American Fail for the day: bus load of high school kids get out at Rushmore. First girl says: so who are these dudes on the hill? Boy says: I dunno, where’s the food? They’re like senators or something. Third girl saves the day: I know who it is! Washington, some guy, Kennedy and Lincoln.

Why is US history so difficult? Our country is only 200 bleeding years old!!! Think of those poor kids in Mycea!

My only regret so far is that we didn’t have more time budgeted for South Dakota. It seems a rather lovely place even if it’s practically Canada and the teenagers are dumb. Maybe they came from Canada and are therefore not required to study American History. None of them had those saucy Canadian accents, however, so we’re going to go with dumb.

Maybe we should up the voting age….

Tomorrow- Top Ten Things I Couldn’t Live Without on This Trip! Ciao!

June 29, 2012June 29, 2012 Leigh Statham

Day 21 – Yellowstone!! Great American Road Trip

Oh boy! Where to start!! Did you know that Jesus loves you?

If not, the guy who owns this bus in Rexburg, ID will be happy to sell you a tshirt as a reminder. Epic.

Awesome animal sightings for the day: bald eagle in nest! Bison with babies! Antelope and Appaloosa horses! (native to Idaho and the Nez Peirce Indians sp?) Best part – none of them were dead!!! They were all alive and well on the side of the road. Only problem is I used my good camera so I have no proof till we get home. Boo!

I wanted to see a bear or a moose, but since Maggie was crying at every sign that said “Bears are Dangerous!” it’s better that we didn’t see any.

No llamas in Yellowstone this time of year.

Wait! Here’s one pic of a ranger trying to keep a bison off the road while stupid tourists (us!!) take pictures and back up traffic!

This is a hot pot. There are tons of them all over the park. Please don’t make me explain their geothermal properties. I’m pretty sure I’ve been through that lecture 1500 times today for my kids.

This is “Old Great Joy” as my oldest kept calling it. (Old faithful for those of you not familiar with geyser lore.)

This is me and baby George at the continental divide. I find that most people on the east coast have no clue what this is or what I mean when I say “I grew up west of the continental divide.” Please Google it. For the love of US geography, Idaho is NOT the Midwest.

Lingering devastation from Yellowstone forest fires. Somehow these burned out vistas inspired me to write a graphic novel involving magical ninjas!

Cody, WY wildlife. This vista inspired me to lose more weight or at least wear a belt.

Other items of interest:

If you take a wrong turn in Greybull, WY you end up in Worland, where my sister lives, but is currently on vacation. Head slap. You will then end up at a small but very nice and overpriced motel in Tensleep (what kind of a weird name is that?!) and you will sit outside on park bench choking down smoke from forest fires, glad that you’re heading away from Colorado.

We hit three states today: Idaho, Montana and Wyoming. For the west, that’s good! These states are big!

We invented a new game for the car: Bison Ball. All you need is one stuffed animal baby bison as a ball, one purple snorkel tube as a bat, and one thrilled baby to act as catcher. Miles of endless fun!

And last but not least, we drove 4,704 miles before ANY of my kids said, “Are we there yet!!!” to which I quickly replied, “You owe me a dollar every time you say that!” “But I don’t have a dollar!” “Then you have to scrub my toilet.” Dead Silence. 🙂

Tomorrow: Mt Rushmore!!!!!!! Advice? Last chance!!!

Happy trails!

June 28, 2012June 28, 2012 Leigh Statham

Days 19 & 20 – the Great American Road Trip

We have a lot of allergies at our house and we packed them all up and brought them on the road with us. Here are just a few that some or all of the six of us enjoy:

Cats- could easily kill me in my sleep if my inhaler were not available.
Dogs – saliva might as well be hydrochloric acid
Pollen – of all variations
Cold temperatures – don’t laugh, it’s real. Look it up: cold urticaria
Wheat – this is my favorite one when traveling. It’s so awesome eating out 24/7
Mushrooms – not really. We all just hate them

So far we’ve had eyes swollen shut, hives, eczema and one puking episode, but we are looking at day 21 and everyone is still having a good time! It’s a summer vacation miracle!

Day 19 was spent laying around grandma’s house in Utah. Ahh, bliss!

Day 20 was spent saying goodbye. Of course we did it in style – pizza party and ice blocking at the park.

No children were harmed while sliding down the mountain on giant ice cubes. Well, one was, but the whole thing was his mom’s idea so I’m not liable. Hope you are feeling better Bradley!

The mom’s who weren’t already injured by the day to day dangers of being a mom had a race (embarrassing videos to be posted on Facebook) and while I wasn’t the fastest, I nearly took my husband out with my speed and endurance. I was promptly accused of doping and kicked out.

Never been ice blocking?? Here’s how:

Get friends with no fear.
Buy blocks of ice from gas station.
Borrow mom’s best dish towels.
Find large grassy hill perfectly manicured by parks and rec.
Cover block of ice with towel for better grip.
Seat dumbest friend on block of ice.
Push friend down hill.
Laugh and point.

After our farewells we hit the open road in search of lava and llamas. Daddy was the winner for the Spot a Llama game. He pointed out a field full of them. I called it beginner’s luck.

Lava abounds in this part of the country. My kids were very excited to learn this until they realized it is cool, hard and black. I guess they were looking forward to having their faces singed by rivers of red hot magma. I told them to start saving for Hawaii and a welder’s mask.

Exotic animal spotting for the evening’s drive: one very large rock chuck (google it, flat lander) and a very sweet little fox. Both dead and puffy on I-15 northbound just before Pocatello, ID.

Idaho is famous for potatoes. They are serious about this. I know. I grew up here. I dug potatoes out of huge rocky fields, ate potatoes, made lamps and clocks with them during power outages. But Daddy is from Louisiana and doesn’t understand the significance of the potato to my childhood and didn’t want to stop at the Museum of the Potato. Sigh. Maybe next time.

Last but not least. Hats off to Olive Garden in Idaho Falls and the best server we have had in 21 days ( no one will beat her tomorrow.. I can feel it) she not only served us our strange, custom meals quickly and with a smile, but she also gave each child FOUR cherries on their ice cream. FOUR!! I’m pretty sure she’s one of the Three Nephites. (Google it, Gentile;)

Tomorrow: Yellowstone!!!! Look out bears!!!

June 26, 2012June 26, 2012 Leigh Statham

Days 17 & 18

We have A LOT of family in northern Utah. I never really think about it until I get here and then I realize I’m surrounded by people who share my blood or my husband’s blood. We also have A LOT of friends. And since I have already spent a lot of years exploring all the awesome places to visit here (see Spiral Getty, Golden Spike, Bear Lake, point of the mountain detention facility) we mostly hop from play date to play date trying to fit in all our loved ones.

This doesn’t make very good reading for you, so I’ll skip to the important things.

Items of interest in Logan, Utah:

The regular matinee price on a brand new release movie (We took the kids to see Brave. I highly suggest you make sure your kids are already brave before they see this show.) is currently locked in at $4!!!!! Four. That is American dollars people, not pesos or yen. $4. You can’t even see a dollar movie for $4 in most states. What is the deal?? No movie tax in Utah? I want to know!

The entire state is a huge water sucking desert. Don’t let the pretty snow capped mountains fool you. If you’re visiting from anywhere with even the slightest amount of moisture in the air be sure to bring your camel back or a portable IV. My whole family is withering away to nothingness. Our lips and toes are cracked and bleeding and there’s no balm in Carmex. Uuugh. No wonder this place has such an active colonic enema practice. It’s the only way to survive.

Cheat grass. It is a gorgeous golden color, looks great hanging out of your mouth while you survey the pigs, and seems soft and slippery enough to slide down a large and very steep hill on. But! It can hide the most heinous of sharp rocks which will rip your favorite pants and cut and bruise your back side. Or so I have been told.

That’s all for now. Hoping to see as many cheap movies as I can before we head out for Yellowstone in a few days.

Hope your backsides are covered!!

Cheat grass and gorgeous view

Strange plants covered in poof balls

Butterflies abound

June 24, 2012June 24, 2012 Leigh Statham

Days 13, 14, 15 & 16

Once again, I have been having so much fun I haven’t had time to catalog our adventures! (Read: I haven’t had two seconds alone in the past seven days and I’m so tired I can’t form a coherent thought before I fall asleep at night.)

Wednesday was my Baby George’s 1st birthday. Isn’t he adorable?

I had all these plans for his birthday on the road that included a small cake for him to mangle, various cousins running around singing and breaking things and small, but perfect gifts for him to enjoy in the car on the way home.

The reality? We discovered George, like his brother, is allergic to gluten (wheat) so cake must be baked from scratch (IE not happening) and we had to beat it out of California that morning to ensure we could meet our obligations in Utah. Plus I don’t think we could fit one more blessed toy in the blue rocket ship. I left our life savings at the Legoland gift shop.

So what do you do to celebrate a first birthday while driving north on I-15? You take the baby on the Dam Tour. That’s what!

Those are my little lovelies in the belly of the Hoover dam. Normally little children aren’t allowed on the floor with all the giant, spinning turbines, but we got lucky and our elevators broke as soon as we got to the middle of the original diversion tunnel and had to be evacuated through the working dam.

Hoover Dam Tips: do not promise your engineering obsessed children a full tour of Hoover Dam. They will not be allowed unless they are over 8 yrs old and you will have three kids crying in the ticket line while other tourists tap their foot behind you.

The kid friendly tour is super lame unless your elevator breaks down, in which case you will have to spend the next two hours explaining to your son that, no, the whole dam isn’t broken, and we aren’t all going to die.

Your souvenir photo will look worse than your Jr High year book pose. (I checked ours everyone’s that was around me. No one looks good in a dam photo.)

Don’t plan on eating lunch on the strip before your tour. There’s no where to park and your baby shouldn’t spend their first birthday in a casino anyway.

We spent the night in St George, UT with my brother’s family. (It helps to have 9 siblings if your road tripping.) this is one of the most beautiful towns in America. I can speak from experience now. The red rocks and green palm trees make it a complimentary color wonderland. It’s doubled in size since I first lived there, but somehow it hasn’t lost it’s small town feel. Two thumbs up.

Salt Lake City, on the other hand, is sprawling out of control. We spent Thursday with family, Thursday night chatting books with the lovely Miss Taryn Albright and Friday celebrating a cousin’s birthday in Layton (pronounced: Lay-in. Gotta get the local vernacular right!)

Friday night I picked up my DH/baby daddy/ knight in shining armor – and there was much rejoicing! Hooray!

Saturday we were fortunate enough to attend my niece’s wedding in the Salt Lake City temple. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, but there really is no ceremony as beautiful as a Mormon temple wedding. Even if you can’t go inside, you should definitely visit the grounds of the SLC temple. Lots of history there and unbelievable stories of faith.

Points of interest in Utah: bring lots of lotion and carmex if you’re visiting from the east coast or anywhere with any humidity in the air or you will shrivel up and blow away as dust in the desert breezes. It may be the land of milk and honey, but it’s drier than the Sahara on leap day.

Ride tracks: the public transit trains in SLC are awesome. They just got new cars because the 4 year old ones were just too out of style. I’m pretty sure my Beloved A train in NY has had the same cars since the great depression.

Keep a garbage can in the back seat for your kids. This will keep clutter to a minimum and if you decide to explore a canyon, they have somewhere to puke.

Cool animal sighting: dead raccoon (ok, not so cool, but nothing lives in this desert waste land!)

Spot a llama score for Utah: ZERO. I’m surprised at this considering the number of cows we’ve seen. You’d think at least one llama would sneak in.

Enjoy the 80mph speed limits, but don’t let it go to your head. I saw 6 speed traps between St George and SLC, whereas I’d only seen three total before that on our who trip.

Google Maps is uh-ma-zing!! From accurately helping me predict LA traffic to guiding me through Vegas and SLC sprawl, I’m convinced it’s run by magical elves in a tree somewhere. Anything this powerful must run on cookies.

Now we are off to northern Utah then Yellowstone. We leave behind so many good friends and family members it’s hard to say goodbye. But in all truthfulness, this mommy is tired of sleeping on the road and instead of pushing our limits, we ‘re going to leave a bit early and head home while the kids are still having fun.

Until next time! May your wedding cake be green and your skies sunny!

June 19, 2012June 19, 2012 Leigh Statham

Days 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12

I have no idea what day it is. I’ve officially entered the Road Trip Space Time Continuum. (Is that how you spell it???) you know the place where all your beds, roads and days melt into one? It’s a relief from everyday blahs, but also a tiny bit disconcerting.

I may not know WHEN I am, but I do know WHERE I am. I’m writing to you today from the Santa Monica Pier (ish).

My good friend kept the baby so I could haul the big kids out for a real beach day. (George hates the beach more than Oklahoma.) One of our major goals for this trip was to compare our beloved NC beaches to the famous sands of southern California. The children are collecting samples to take home and analyze as I type.

Note for future beach trips: No more giant carts of toys. Each child gets a large empty Gatorade bottle to play with on future beach outings. Possibly for Christmas as well.

Now! It’s catch up time!

We had a lovely time partying like rock stars in Phoenix. My sister’s backyard is better than Disney Land. in fact, it was so fun we stayed longer than we planned and stayed up way too late several nights in a row which forced me to make the executive decision to skip the Grand Canyon.

I know, I know. I am a wimp. But instead of going there we took the 10 and stopped at my cousin’s house in Blythe, CA. She had fallen out of a fruit tree the night before and broke her ankle up pretty bad, but something tells me my kids enjoyed her playroom for 20 min and the shorter drive than seeing the biggest crack in our country. We’ll save that for a trip with Daddy.

Southern Cali is home to some of my dearest friends. (Hopefully we’re still friends after I leave!) We did some parks, hit Carlsbad Beach and Legoland together this weekend and had a great time just catching up. Luckily our kids like each other or things would be ugly.

That’s enough blathering for now. Here are some items of interest:

If it weren’t for irrigation canals there would be no LA. My kids find it just as amazing as I do that water is moved to where it needs to be instead of falling from the sky like mana.

Legoland is not a true theme park. It is a museum with a few moving exhibits. Bring plenty of extra cash for games and activities once you enter ($3 to climb a rock wall, must wear tennis shoes, no tennis shoes, cue melt down). If you’re wealthy enough to buy a speed pass, do it ($100-ish per person!!) you get to cut in front of all us schleps with starving kids. The new aquarium is great. The security is super. The food, sublime!! Really, I’m serious. Best park food I’ve ever eaten.

Coolest dead animal sighting: a massive dead seal on the rock beach in Carlsbad. Sorry.. I didn’t take photos.

Spot a llama game is on hold until we hit the road tomorrow. Destination, Vegas baby! I’m gonna teach the kids how to blow on the dice just right.

Just kidding. We’re going to brave the Hoover Dam tour. For now, here are some photos of our week.

Some famous bridge.

3000 miles on the old blue rocket ship!!

Giant ducks invading San Fran.

George likes aquariums.

Days 4 & 5 – the Great American Road Trip: New Mexico & Arizona

Day 4 finally found us in Arizona and at the end of phase one of our trip.

We started out the morning at a “trading post” in Gallup. My five year old was thrilled to go to her first trading post until she realized it was just a gas station with blankets and dream catchers for sale. The upside? REAL gold in little jars of goo. How could we resist??

We hit the road after that in search of a real trading post and found plenty along the way. Each exit boasted more authentic jewelry, pottery and blankets than any other exit. I’m pretty sure all the jewelry was made in Mexico and the rugs in china. We bought T-shirts.

Items of interest for NM & AZ:

We saw a real live antelope for our exotic animal spotting game. Bonus: it was alive, huge and quite majestic standing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Fail: I was going 80 mph and couldn’t get a picture. LOVE these 75 mph speed limits!!

The train industry is alive and well in the southwest. The kids were thrilled to see at least ten large cargo trains as we drove. Much better than listening to them all night.

View from my hotel in Gallup

One other interesting train note: My great grandfather was an engineer for union pacific and liked to wear steel toed boots in case he had to kick hobos off the train.

The Arizona New Mexico border boasts the world largest Teepee*

*it was the worlds largest teepee, now it’s the Largest teepee in the Southwest thanks to the Internet and the marvels of modern technology. There are fifteen teepees in the world that are officially larger. Incorrect Tshirts are 50% off.

Last item of interest: The Red Deserts. I love the southwest. There are only three places in the world where I feel I can plug in my soul and recharge it completely. This is one of them.

Something about the endless smattering of sage brush, dry warm winds and a bright yellow sun covering you like a blanket…. Ahhhhh. Bliss 🙂

Please forgive me for updating late. Day 5 and 6 will be spent by the pool in Phoenix sipping cold drinks. Hope your day 5 and 6 are equally rewarding!

June 11, 2012June 11, 2012 Leigh Statham

Day 3 – The Great American Road Trip – Texas & New Mexico

Ahhh … Oklahoma! I feel like I just don’t “get” you or the Midwest. Is Oklahoma considered part of the Midwest? I’ve lived in the midwest, there are beautiful tid bits, but an entire musical for this grand farming state? Someone please explain.

I can at least testify that the wind certainly does blow there. And my son was smitten with the giant wind turbines. (I kept calling them power sticks just so he’d correct me).

On to Texas!

Items of interest:

We only drove through the pan handle but it was long enough for me to feel a strong urge to jump on a horse and ride out into nowhere with Clint Eastwood in a cheap 70s western.

Favorite exit: Texola. Just say it. Texola (giggle) it rhymes with my favorite kid word: funola. Except it’s a real place, full of nothing. Clint would love it.

Fresh lemons – you can buy fresh, home grown lemons for 75¢ each at the teeny tiny gas station east of Wendola (giggle) and Amarillo. But be prepared to hang out there for awhile, they have the slowest gas pumps on the planet.

Also, Texas has lots and lots of cows along I-40 and Amarillo isn’t nearly as romantic as the song. You think they would at least have a giant billboard with George Straight’s gorgeous smile there to welcome you. But no. Nothing even close. In fact I sneezed and missed half the city.

Outside of town there were several cars stopped to look at the Cadillac Ranch. Very very cool. Check it out.

New Mexico!

I LOVE New Mexico! I had a chance to live here once and it’s a fantastic place. The scenery was gorgeous and the kids were good so it sort of blew by.

Items of interest:

75 MPH speed limits!!! Heaven!!!!

I went at least 200 miles with absolutely no cell or data connection, not even a little E. We could have DIED!!

Do not check a suspect diaper by sticking your finger in the side. Bad, bad idea.

When you stop at random gas station/post office to wash your finger and change guilty diaper, be sure to listen for the crazy bird that sounds like an old school car alarm. So cool!

That’s our blue rocket ship, as the kids call it.

I learned the proper way to spell Albuquerque (thank you auto spell!)

3pm at Garduños Mexican restaurant in Albuquerque is a fantastic place to let your kids run wild and tank up on chocolate tacos and sopapillas. So, so good!

And if you’re playing the alphabet game the Zuzac, NM exit kicks butt.

I am now enjoying my deluxe room in Gallup with a “no plug tub” – it is a feature! And a great view of the train yards. Guaranteed to entertain children with autism on the half hour, exactly, all night long as trains roar past tooting a friendly “Hello!”.

Pray for us?

Tomorrow: Phoenix! Where we will recuperate for a few days before trekking on with our trusty Chick-Fil-A of Garner cow cut out. He’s having a blast.

June 10, 2012June 10, 2012 Leigh Statham

Day 2 – The Great American Road Trip

I seriously can’t believe we’ve only been on the road for two days. It feels like at least a week! And I don’t mean that in a bad way. I anticipated many more irksome moments but I’ve been very pleasantly surprised. Probably because my offspring are certifiably perfect (insert sparkly toothed grin). In all honesty, once we figured out that we had to feed #3 and get her in bed somewhere before 8:30, there has been no puking and very little whining.

I’ve also been very surprised by the sense of empowerment I’m feeling. I can’t explain why, but something about the fact that I packed up all four of my kids, my minivan and my sister, walked out the door and here I am two days later in Oklahoma City living large, is VERY liberating! I didn’t need anyone else to fly me or drive me or tell me when and where I could depart from. No one took me to four different destinations before the ones I planned on (hate me some layovers!) Roadtripping is actually A LOT like writing. I am completely in control of 80% of what’s going on.

Granted things haven’t gone exactly as planned. We were planning on sleeping in Amarillo tonight and we are several hours short of that goal, but we had such a wonderful day in Little Rock and at random truck stops that I really can’t complain. Just like when you’re writing. You plan your goals and your schedule, but if you leave yourself open to surprises and just enjoy the process, the end result is often times much more satisfying.

– Points of interest in Arkansas –

There were several circus/revival tents set up along the freeway with not a soul in sight. Just miles and miles of mystery crops.

Dead armadillos are plentiful along the roadside (good to note incase of zombie apocalypse and food shortage).

Baby George likes Okra

People from Texas in black Audis do not like Arkansas and drive like bats out of hell trying to escape.

Best signage: Toad Suck Park Next Exit (Seriously bummed I didn’t get a picture of that with the Chick-Fil-A cow!)

– Points of interest from Eastern Oklahoma –

I broke my promise and made oldest boy pee in a cup. (We were almost to our stop and he was insisting he couldn’t wait 5 miles. I swear!)

Promptly caught myself saying: “You keep both hands on that cup of pee! Or so help me!” what the what? Ugh.

There are A LOT of cows along I-40 but only one llama and I was the first to spot him during the Spot a Llama Game. Winning!!

Oklahoma is very proud of its Native American heritage and there are a ton of teepee shaped rest areas with names I can’t pronounce.

And finally, the bathrooms at the visitors center just over the state line from Arkansas have the BEST mirrors ever! They are warped just enough to make me look skinnier than I’ve ever been in my life without shrinking the top half at all. I ALMOST took a picture, but I didn’t want y’all to think I was a weird or the old lady waiting for me to stop posing in front of the sink to pass out waiting for her turn.

So far, so good. No one puked (yet… Fingers crossed, towels ready). We’re half a day off schedule but in the grand tradition of this Country Music Highway we get to live out the immortal lyrics of George Straight: Amarillo by Mornin’!!

Life is good and America is indeed, beautiful!

June 9, 2012June 9, 2012 Leigh Statham

GART – The Great American Road Trip: Day 1

Day one is OVER!! I’m happy to report that it went much better than I planned. The kids were great, the roads were clear, skies were sunny… What more could we have asked for? Nothing.

The morning went quickly driving through our beloved North Carolina. For those of you who don’t know, flowers bloom on every side of every freeway three seasons of the year, the food is good and everyone wants you to “have a blessed day!” we stopped for a picnic somewhere in eastern Tennessee and then hit the road again.

Items of interest in Tennessee:
A very cool tunnel
A replica of the Titanic (?)
Lots of policeman who don’t mind you driving 10 over the limit. (score!!)

There are also at least 50 Cracker Barrel restaurants on I-40. All of which my kids wanted to stop at. But we ended up stopping at Lorretta Lynn’s home town and namesake diner instead. (Cue the whining) Oh, and we took our Chick-Fil-A cow too.

The food was down home scary and so was the lady at the counter. Here’s how it went down:

Me- how far is it to Memphis?
Her- that depends on where yer goin in Memphis.
Me- uhhh… The East side?
Her- huh. It’s 142 miles to the border. Figure that if you don’t have a destination.
Me- do you go there often?
Her- sweetheart, I have’t been there in years. I do not travel on the interstate.
Me- huh. Ok. Thank you.
Her – take care sweetheart and figure out where yer goin.

I should note here that I’m pretty sure “sweetheart” is the pet name she gives people she hates and is planning to kill later. Maybe she was just pissed that we brought our cow into Loretta Lynn’s food market.

And for the record, it takes exactly one viewing of Disney’s Tangled and a poop stop to get to Memphis if you’re ever eating dinner at Loretta Lynn’s with tiny tots.

Until tomorrow!!!

UPDATE: Loretta Lynn had her revenge after all… Kid #3 puked everywhere last night. This road trip is now OFFICIAL! Oh yes!

Scribble Leigh

Young Adult Books & Random Shenanigans

Month: June 2012