#wornout

in less than a month, i'll be done with my dental studies (if i pass).
5 years gone, just like that.

tired of so so many things other than studying. yep as if studying is not enough to tire me out.

saw this in a friend's blog and it describes how i feel now:
"disappointment - when it turns out you were wrong about people around you and what you had wasn't what you thought it was".

God, please give me strength.

hello,

okay this is like probably the longest interval in recent years that i haven't updated this space. i swear there's multiple occasions when i signed onto this account with the intention of wanting to update stuff but just didn't manage to start/complete a post. i guess i've been really busy and caught up with so much stuff that i feel that i can hardly breathe sometimes.

exams have ended and i've completed my 4th year (hopefully, since results arent out yet). i'm worried about my overall results even though i think this time's written exam is pretty manageable, mainly because of the many other components that i didn't manage to do as well as i should. but oh wells, i've tried my best i suppose and i'm leaving everything to God :)
4th year 2nd sem is supposedly the most difficult semester ever in the dental course so i'm thankful to God that He has pulled me through this whole year.

somehow i'm already getting scared about next year (omg, final year), knowing how stressful it can be towards the end of the year. so many things to worry/stress about and its just daunting :( and time just passes so fast that i can hardly catch up with it. like i can't believe its going to be Dec next week. damn fast.

i've been really easily annoyed and impatient recently. i'm just upset at the way i treat others and taking people and things for granted. :(
i'm going to lakes entrance after my dad goes back to sg. hopefully it'll take things off my mind a little and i hope i don't miss my dad too much (it shouldn't be that bad i hope, since i'm headed home in 2 weeks time). what i feel super sian is that i have 3 clinical sessions the following week. k was saying that we should just enjoy our short getaway tgt but then again, its so difficult to not think/worry about clinical stuff since i'm having clinics when i come back from this road trip. i really pray hard that everything goes well with the issuance of denture and splint. and more importantly, my patients being able to attend the sessions.

life's quite sad in the sense that there's like no end to worrying. after something's done, we have something else to think/worry about. or maybe its just me, who always thinks further ahead and finds stuff to worry about. idk.

God is so amazing :D

really thank God for showering so much love on me :)

jiayou

note to self:

what a tiring/eventful week

i have been dreading thurs so much because of endo clinic. i felt so stressed that i can't finish this endo case of mine which have been dragging since forever (like last sem). got mum to pray for me (and of course myself praying really hard) that this Thurs is it. AND THANK GOD THAT I COMPLETED IT THIS THURS. like finally finally. i admit that i gave up since many endo sessions ago cause its just so hard, and it just seems like i'm not fated to find those root canals. and i just wanted my demo to help me with it and get me through this. doesn't matter if she does the obturation with me just assisting and not doing it myself, i.just.want.to.end.this (okay i think my attitude sounds really bad).

and i really really admire my patient for all his patience and compliance. imagine sitting on the chair for 3 hours x many sessions and not having any progress. he's the best patient EVER. 

its so hard to get the best of both worlds. like to get predictable and not-so-difficult cases and at the same time nice patients. now that i finished this case,  i need to get a new patient whom i really pray hard that is nice and whose root canal tx is manageable by me. i can't afford to waste/miss any more sessions or i'll be struggling to complete my requirements by the end of the year. 

fixed pros session is so much better (but i shall not say it too soon).

yep, so this week is busy also because i've been spending time with k (almost everyday) cause he's going hk and back home for the next two weeks. starting to miss him.

just listened to quite a number of lecture recordings. got to read a pile of notes and digest them. next week i've got exo and oral surgery rotations, research and lab work to do (on top of my usual lectures/clinics). busy busy.

1st month :)

woke up this morning after having a nightmare about me not answering two whole osce questions. it was scary cause it felt really real. i don't know why, but i've been kind of stressed the last week (yes, stressed during my holidays). i blame it on my GP clinical exam which is coming up soon at the end of august. still finding a suitable pt for my exam (which is considered last minute) and i really pray hard that this pt that i'm going to screen at the end of July is going to be a suitable one.

it seems like time passed really fast since i came back from my new zealand trip. and i seriously can't sort of recall what i have been doing since i came back. and its like only a week more of holidays before sem 2 (the scariest sem in the whole dental course) starts. time to get some work done, i suppose. but its the holidays :(

k's been really encouraging and spending time with him makes me feel less stressed (or maybe even more, since he's smart and knows his stuff whereas its the opposite for me :( ). and the one month (like what he said), passed really fast for us.
my family's reaction is really funny when i broke the news to them. and my mum's just so nice and understanding towards everything. she's the most awesome mum. love her ttm!

and i really don't know what to do at the end of the year (to go or not to go) :( but i know God has plans for me.
so leona, just breathe in and out, and trust in the Lord :)

:)

back to being a happy me. thank God for putting me through all that has happened. i supposed i've learnt stuff and have become a stronger person?

anyways i wanted to blog about a lot of stuff after last weds but i ended up procrastinating all the way till today.

sydney trip was a short retreat for me, but well, its still a good break. bad weather but good company, so i won't complain.

and yesterday (13th june) was the day :)