A Page From The Diary That Should Have Been Left To Burn.

Yeah. This one's out of desperation. Frustration. And the necessity to get it off my chest.
Our List of Songs. The one's we start. And never finish. The one's that have us hooked for a couple of weeks and then fade out of our memories. Literally. Ishan forgets the riffs. I forget the beats, the timing, the everything there is to it. The songs for which Diva can never seem to come up with a vocal line for. The one's where the lyrics don't fit the music.
The one's that give us all the hope in the world. That we're the fucking best. The awesomest, but lost in the crowd of the awesome. Unable to shine. Unable to bring what's inside to surface, ever.
And then there's the never ending search for the man. The man, the hero, who will save us. Who will takes us to where we belong. Where we were destined to go. We found a few. Nobody fit in.
But then, we don't really need him. We're good to go on our own. The three of us. We can find our way. Can we ?
The songs we come up with when we're down and frustrated, the one's that knock us out. The one's that have a structure but no beauty. Rugged at the edges, polishing to be done.
Its only when the dammed amplifiers don't work. Or the bass pedal gets stuck in my jeans and the screws refuse to hold it up anymore, that they sound so dead and out of tune.
And if only for Diva's girls, Ishan's dreams, my selfish intentions. If only to give my sister a present, my folks a reason to say my name proudly. If only to see those lips curve into a smile. If only to see all those faces in the crowd, the ones I recognize screaming my name with love, and those I don't recognize screaming, pleading me to fall in love with them [Wait. That isn't going to happen, I'm the drummer, I'll be lost, invisible behind the kit :P]
If only to reach out, make yourself heard. If only to do something. Anything, to make a difference.
How can I not fall in love with such a dream ?
Put us on a stage, or stand around listening to us jam randomly, I promise we'll get you moving.
My best memory of doing that was when Ishan and me were jamming one evening,
and we had these MBA guys come up to the jam room and dance to what we would like to think of as a typical Rock song. And to have Swati jumping up and down and going crazy all over the place. I really can't describe the feeling.
No, we haven't stopped. We've had a few people help us along the way. And although,
We are unsure of the future, unsure of who's in and who's not, unsure of our identity, we go on.
And we're going to hit the scene soon. Cuz this is something we've always wanted.
Its coming. You wait.

- Diwakar (Diva), Ishan, Akshan.
[ Proud Owners/Composers of the following unfinished, incomplete songs :
* The Doom Song
* The Tap Song
* The Orgasmic Song
* The Mosh Song
* The Wah Wah Song
* The Song Which Makes Us All Go Nuts ( Ishan and Diva don't know about this one yet. Wait. Diva doesn't know shit about anything) ]