If you wish it hard enough it just might come true

I love to sing.  Let me fix that.  I love music.  I love music like I love air.  I need it to survive, to live, to be sane...to be me.  If it's not on, it's in my head constantly playing or I'm beating out a rhythm or making up a silly song (drives Nathan nuts).

I have a problem.  I've always been one that if it isn't going to be done perfectly, I'm not gonna try.  Afraid of failing?  Partly.  Mostly afraid of disappointing those who believe in me or support me.  Or maybe afraid of letting myself down.

I've decided to take voice lessons with the end goal of trying out for The Voice.  There.  I said it to the world.  It's my new goal.  (Nathan shakes his head at the random things I try-quitting different jobs, trying to write a book and get published, deciding -and accomplishing!!- to run a half marathon).  I want to  have to try this.

I'm scared of failing.  Of not finishing what I start.  Of wasting money on lessons that don't go anywhere.  Of the teacher laughing at me as soon as I open my mouth.  (Ok...I'm not that scared of that happening.  I do have confidence in my myself.  I've rocked the mic on karaoke numerous times!!) All these reasons are distractions... deterrents....I'm annoying myself typing these, much less when they're floating in my head.

So I'm wishing, praying, practicing, seeing where it goes.  Maybe I just want to know for sure...can I sing well?  Can I not?  Should I just keep it to the car or can I actually have enough confidence to truly try this.  I can't wait for Monday at 7:30.  It's my first time!

I need to breathe.  I need music.  I need to become a better singer.  I need this.  I. can't. wait.

We've moved

Well.  It finally happened   We finally accepted that we are city folk and need to live in a real neighborhood and not in the woods.  After being in the woods for eight years, we picked up our stuff and left.  Don't get me wrong... I love the woods: the sounds of the tree frogs, the stars peeking through the trees, and the deer eating their breakfast in our backyard.  The cons out weighed the pros though.  So goodbye wasps.  Goodbye snakes (even though we only saw one).  Goodbye to not knowing anyone on our street super well.

Hello neighborhood that has a name!  Hello people our own age!  Hello children who are smiling and riding their bikes around happily!  Hello to the most wonderful neighbors to have in the whole world....The Bettinardi's!!!!  It's like a Delmarr reunion up in here.  Nathan's BFF (boy friend forever) lives five houses down with his lovely wife and three cute as heck kids.  We have spent more time with them in the past month then we have in the past few years.

Having kids and working is hard on relationships.  It's so easy to bury our heads, get in our own little routines, and not reach out to those we love to say, "Yo!  What's up?"  Now we don't have an excuse.  I'm so thankful we moved here because now the girls play often.  Jamie and I are really getting to know each other.  (Oh my word!  She's the most talented do it yourself-er I've ever seen.  I hope it rubs off on me.)  And the men in our lives get to sit on the couch together and watch late night tv just like they did back in the day.  They don't talk much, but to see them is to see pure bliss.  Ah...young love.  (Heehee)

We're almost unpacked.  Just have the office and the garage to do.  I get to Thirty-One the office!  So pumped about having my own workspace instead of the couch or dining room table.  Our dining room table is to die for now though.  It's blue!!  I had it redone at The Green Label by the very talented Billie.  I have a list of furniture I plan to send her way!!

So far everyone has been friendly and welcoming!  I have met some super nice neighbors and look forward to getting to know them.  I'm also looking forward to using the neighborhood pool.  It's two houses down!  Can't wait to have neighborhood parties and gatherings.  There's even a neighborhood garage sale next week!  I'm not selling anything because I can't stand selling at garage sales, but you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be buying from some!

I'm so thankful for the new place.  The old place is still on the market.  I hope someone falls in love with it like we did.  Maybe it'll be some true woodsy folk who can love even more than us.  We made some amazing memories there (and damn cute kids!  HA!).  Can't wait to make even more amazing memories here (but no more kids.  Two is plenty!).

Look up because concussions suck

Soooooo we moved into a new house which is amazing, gorgeous, and in a neighborhood.  We have a fenced in backyard and everything!  We got all moved in and I started unpacking.  I was in the kids bathroom throwing some trash away.  I stand up at normal speed and slam the top of my head on the free standing linen closet cabinet.  I see stars, but don't pass out.  I don't fall asleep, but I can't stand up either.  My kids are in the other room.  My Mema and Mom are downstairs.  I can't call out for help.  I sit in the floor for forever it feels like until I can whisper for Sidney to run down and get me an icepack.

I manage to go downstairs and I sit while Mema scares the daylights out of me that I have bleeding in the brain and I shouldn't take a shower because I'll get dizzy, fall down, and die.  So uplifting!  I don't call Nathan because I don't want to interrupt his work day.  I do take a shower and I didn't pass out.

The next day I go to the doctor and it's official, I gave myself a concussion.  So dumb!!!  The next day Nathan takes me to the ER to get a catscan because I kept feeling strange sensations in my brain.  Luckily no blood!  That's always a plus.

I've been taking the week easy.  That's a big reason the house is a mess and we still have more boxes than I would like.  The worst part of the whole thing is not being able to run.  The Hogeye half marathon is April 14th.  Nathan and I are registered and have been training since the end of November.  I walked a half mile a couple of times and my head hurts and it makes me really tired.  Talk about lame!  Nathan keeps saying we should skip it while I say, "you run it and I'll go cheer for your or walk it instead of running it."  I love earning medals.  Nathan's point that hit home was when he compared my deal to Fantasy Football.  Apparently a concussion is the worst thing a player can have when they're on your team because you never know how long the recovery is going to be.  Every week you're wondering if they'll be ready to play and if so do you put them in your lineup because you don't know where they're going to be physically.  I'm slowly giving in and realizing I may only get a shirt for this one.

The upside to getting a concussion is realizing where I want to be physically.  I've been waaaay slacking on dieting.  I've been slacking on my training too if I'm going to be honest.  I would get my long runs in on Saturday, but I'd only hit one other run during the week and I was skipping my cross training.  Being forced to sit out is a lot different than choosing to sit out.  Now that I can't do what I know I'm capable of doing it's making me realize I want to do what I can when I can.  I'm going to be choosing better choices with diet and exercise because I want to be healthy and a good role model for my kids.

Now if I could only be a good role model when it comes to being graceful.  There's a reason my Dad always called me "Grace" growing up.  This is just one of the many examples why!

Moral of the story?  Look up always.  Oh, and I moved the trash can too.

Heard at our house today...

You hear lots of fun things in your house when you have children.

Today's favorite is the following:

"Help!  Somebody help!  Quick!!  He's put his hands in the pee-pee water.  He's rubbed it on his face like lotion!"  yelled by our sweet Sidney.

"Well.  I'm bleeding.  Cut my finger putting a bag in the garbage disposal."  Nathan says as blood drips down his finger.  He was putting a bag in the trash compactor.  Not the garbage disposal.

"No!  NO! NO!! Don't put your hand in her booty crack!"  I scold Evan in the bath tub.

"buerfi buerfi!" Evan yells excitedly as he makes a butterfly at church. "Side!!!SIDE!!" he screams as the rest of the children hunt for Easter eggs on the playground at church.

"Wow!  You got gummy fish!  Those are my very favorite.  You are so lucky," a boy says to Sidney as they check out the Easter egg loot after the hunt.  "Well, here.  You can have it," she says as she hands it to him without any hesitation.

I love my family.  I'm so blessed.

The big 100

And for my 100th post, I'd like to make a big announcement!  Drum roll please!

Three sleeps until Jamaica!

That's all.

Zombies

I'm gonna go run with zombies, gonna go run with zombies, I'll be running from zombies, and I hope they don't eat me.  Leaving in 30 min to Run for our Lives.  I can't wait!!  I'm not an obstacle course girl so I'm a wee nervous.  There's one with electric shocks!!!  I'll be posting lots of pictures when we get back.  Check out their site till then.  Have the best weekend.  Sorry for not posting lately!

I think I'll go to Boston...

Before I leave for my adventure tomorrow, I had to mention how thankful I am to be so blessed.  Tonight when Evan woke himself up and needed a diaper change and a nip on the bottle, he just made me laugh as he melted my heart.  He looked around for his Daddy and said, "Da-Da?"  He cuddled into my arms and nuzzled my neck.  He peeked at me and laughed with his eyes all squished tight.  He danced his no-no-no dance.  He felt perfect in my arms.  I have the sweetest little boy in the world.  I'm so thankful to be his "Ma-Ma."
I feel the same about Miss Sass Sidney.  I love how she questions everything.  It can drive me crazy how she pushes the boundaries and at times my buttons, but I know she's just trying things out and figuring out how everything works.  I saw the sweet joy in her eyes during her first dance class Monday.  She lost herself in the mirror as she followed her instructors through the different exercises.  She looked so sure of herself and so in the moment of the music.  I am very proud to be her Mommy.  Cuddling with her in bed while reading the Bible reminds me to thank God and Jesus and her Guardian Angel for allowing me the honor of knowing her and loving her.  I pray that they remind every second that that sweet little girl is watching my every move, hearing my every word, and observing my every reaction.  All these moments will make her the person she's destined to become.
The house is way too quiet with Jester and Nathan gone.  I can't wait to see my Bahtoo tomorrow and have some us time.  We need it.  A moment to get away from the stress, the pressure, and all the things that distract us from what we really are...two people who became best friends at a track practice forever ago.  We've spoken every night since then and we've been so lucky to create a beautiful Team Adams that I am thankful for everyday.  I love him....all of them so much.
To be totally honest, I'm also looking forward to having a day almost totally to myself.  Sounds a bit selfish after relishing how much I love everyone from what I wrote above.  I'm excited to get lost in a city I've never been to.  I'm ready to do whatever tickles my fancy and be reminded who I am when I am all alone and all my labels or hats that I wear if you will are put on hold for a few hours.
Thanks Mom and Dad for watching the kids and keeping my most precious things safe.  I love you for that among 100 million other reasons.  Off to bed to prepare for a safe flight (I hate flying!!!) and a fun adventure.  Hope I remembered to pack everything.