It's been a while since I last posted, and there is a reason for that. It's because I knew that, inevitably, this post was going to have to come out. It is a confession. One I have been swallowing back for many a day now.
I am a closet nerd.
Think of something you think is nerdy and I probably like it. I have been sucked into shows from the nineties that I swore to myself I would never watch. Shows with ridiculously named people wearing ridiculous things while they perform ridiculous tasks.
And I like it.
My friend K, who came out of the nerd closet (or perhaps was never really in there to begin with) has introduced me to my nerdy side. The side that watches reruns of Firefly and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Hey, don't judge.) The side that reads (I'm dying here, people) fan fiction. If you don't know what that is...good for you. The side that carries around her journal everywhere making lists of things she wants to do before she dies and events in history she wishes she had been present for.
And I like it.
For many months...if not years...I have been exploring this nerdy side. The side that, really, I always had but whose existence I emphatically denied. I assured myself that I was really cool because I still love to read classical literature and watch Bones (I would marry David Boreanaz if he asked. I'm just sayin.) and Grey's Anatomy. You know, the "cool" shows. I still love to play the piano and sing. That makes me cool, right?
And then THAT came crashing down around me too. Classical literature? Isn't the first basic sign of a nerd other than the wearing of glasses the fact that you have your nose stuck in a book 24/7? And TV? That's just one step above video games! (Although seriously, people. DAVID BOREANAZ. You can't blame me.) And yes, I WAS in four choirs my senior year of high school, thank you very much. They don't call us choir nerds because we're cool.
But the more I think of it? The more I love it. I'm unique. I can reference quotes that the majority of the world's population has never heard of. And that's cool to me. I can defend to the death that Austen's Mr. Darcy is worlds above Gaskell's Mr. Thornton. And that makes me feel intelligent. And I can sing (well...I COULD sing) higher than anyone in my dorm building my freshman year of college. Awesome.
I always admire people who embrace themselves for who they are, regardless of the opinions of others. And I'm trying this new thing where I try to do that too.
So yes. I am officially coming out of the nerd closet. I'm sayin' that I'm a nerd.
And I'm sayin' that I am proud of it.