CHRISTMAS

The Winter Solstice, Christmas, and soon the new year....and as I grow older, ellusive time flies by with an impossible pace.

A Christmas sentiment?

All I can wish for you and your loved ones are

BLESSINGS, PEACE, AND CONTENTMENT.

As if you hadn't already been assaulted with enough holiday music, I'm offering more. Nothing special, just two of my humble musical Christmas cards. I post these every year.

 I recorded White Christmas long ago on a cassette tape, that was eventually moldy and rotting in the garage. I repaired the tape, edited it and transferred it to a mp3 file simply to save it. Then I made the video.

The second video ( Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)  was filmed on an ancient Sony camcorder when I lived in Texas. The camera was much too close to the piano, which distorted the audio.

Fascinating information for Christmas, huh?

What could be more exciting than my music and AI pictures? Please don't throw your fruitcakes at me!

My Christmas Eve was far less than magical, it's rather too unnerving to discuss.

After a few more AIs, I'll quietly take my leave.

Jon  🌲⛄️❤️⛄️🌲

with peppermint kisses to all

ALMOST

 

I'm whispering. Christmas is almost here. In my miserable, dire, gloomy situation here in the purgatory of physical therapy, I'm not in a celebratory mood. But let's expunge that for now. I won't trash Christmas as I did in my previous post.

What should I write about?

I don't have very many interesting holiday stories to tell. My parents celebrated Christmas when I was a small child. But......truth to tell......

....my parents were absolute direct opposites, but they agreed on certain things. Both of them disliked parties, social gatherings, and holidays. 

They eventually stopped indulging in Christmas when I was still a fairly young age. I suppose I was very similar to them. I didn't really care. They gave me things when I wanted them. They always remembered my birthday.

So there.

Tonight I'm remembering  Christmases so long ago that they seem to be in another realm.

When I was a young child in New Jersey, old holiday traditions still prevailed. People had real genuine pine trees.

(yes, I'm aware of the negative aspects of destroying trees just for a holiday.....artificial ones are much more convenient....but.....I hate artificiality, that's my preference).

The old tradition back then was to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve (usually during the day)....and take it down after New Year's Day.

Nowadays the tree is put up in early September....and reluctantly taken down after Easter....

Very slight exaggeration. Very.

Do we still treasure hand-written Christmas Cards?

Not when cards are $10+ and postage stamps are...what....$5.....??

I lost track when stamps were 50 cents.

Anyway, Xmas cards were a big deal when I was a child. And my parents strung them up in lovely rows across the walls.

What about Santa? I was an extremely gullible child. If I wasn't told that there's no Mr. Claus, I'd still believe in him.

I remember one snowy day, my Uncle Steve (Aunt Irene's husband) called up and pretended he was Santa Claus. I was about four yrs. old and fell for the ploy. I regurgitated the list of toys I wanted. Good ol' Uncle Steve did a plausible Imitation of the hohoho Claus fellow.

Those were blissfully golden years when I was adorably innocent.

You should see me now.

Jon 🌲⛄️❤️⛄️🌲

as far from innocence as anyone can get

Heck, I still luv my sweet AI creations.

Tidings of good cheer. More blogging ahead.....

RUMORS OF SOLSTICE

The temperature is rising here in Gainsboro, this tiny nonentity of a Tennessee town. Frigid in November..... tropical in December? It's supposed to be near 70 degrees (Fahrenheit) on Christmas! Have I been secretly transported back to Los Angeles??

I'm wondering what it's like back at my TN home on King's Mountain. It's always cooler there (and I wonder if I'll ever see it again.........)

There's a rumor that today is the winter solstice. Is it true?

WELCOME TO WINTER!

The biggest winter storms in the area where I live always happen in January and February - - every year like clockwork.

Well, you didn't come here for a dang weather report. You want to read my beautifully emotional poetic sentiments (like in my previous post).

I'm not always poetic. Lately I'm in a rotten, foul, hopeless, perpetually depressed mood. I'm feeling very weak mentally and physically. I've lost a lot of weight. I'm not making satifactory progress. I have to FORCE myself to do anything.

But if I don't force myself, I'll be in this cursed place forever....or the insurance co. will drop me (most likely).

I don't like physical therapy here. It's completely haphazard and sporadic.The therapy back in Signature was much better. There was a goal and purpose. Here no inspiring goal exists. It's all uninspiring.

Well, Christmas will be here in a few days. Everyone should be ecstatic.

Peace on Earth......no way

Joy to the World......joy??

Face it, boys and girls. Christmas is a big fantasy. Not to mention a big money-making racket.

Brainwashing you with an avalanche of sentimentally. I'm extremely sentimental, but I don't want to be spoon-fed with it.

Goodwill Toward Men.....what about women and whatever else there is (he says with tongue in cheek).

Seriously, I'm not trying to spoil your holiday fun.

Not much, anyway.

Heck, nobody is reading blogs during frenzied Xmas week.

You're too busy trying to get your WalmartMadeinChina plastic and tinfoil tree set up.

....and preparing to welcome 486 of your magnificent family and faithful friends. Lucky you. I don't have family or friends.

Possibly, lucky me.

Well, now that I trashed Christmas, what else should I do?

Jon  ❤️  with potential Humbug Syndrome

love me or hate me....I'm almost amusing

WITHIN MY SOUL

Admittedly, I suppress the vile darkness deep within my soul, and whitewash the utter hopelessness to paint a palatable  view of what almost could be.

In blatant English, I lie about my depthless sorrow.

These past ghastly years have finally robbed me of everything I ever had, and ripped my palid optimisim to shreds.

Hope is a dream. Happy endings are unattainable.

In the blissful shroud of night

I pray fervently.....

for eternal sleep.

I only thank God for retaining my mental ability to write these words.

Jon 

I seem superficial, but the essence of myself is much deeper than you could ever imagine.

Once, the fleeting lover I had when I lived in the Ozarks said "Jon, I don't understand you".

My answer

"I don't understand myself".

That was when our torrid relationship was ending. There was a beginning.

That was when I left the 55 degree (Fahrenheit) winter of Los Angeles and faced a 5 degree Christmas blizzard in the Missouri Ozarks. When you think someone truly loves you, you can endure the frigid grasp of nature.

He baked cookies, cakes, and pies for me. Gave me gifts. Decorated a magnificent tree. Good 'ol simple country boy was surprisingly adept...at many things.

That Christmas Eve

we bundled up, grabbed a bottle of wine, ventured out into an incredible snowscene worthy of Doctor Zhivago. Deep Siberian drifts everywhere, casting surrealistic illusional colors, a moonless sky - deep dark - blazing with a myriad of December stars - - constellations like Orion and Taurus. We drank wine. We sang...impromptu carols. Magical night.

Inside, frigid to the bone. We warmed up. And warmed up again. 

Why on God's green earth am I writing this? It wasn't intended. It wasn't intended to offend.

I always tell truth. I can't deny my past.

Random thoughts, distant memories somehow become words. Ancient Christmas Eves.

My life - - an infinite surplus of memories - - ecstasy, agony, darkness beyond hell, gold in sunlit clouds. I could tell an incredible endless journey that would astound you.....

and now

nothing.

Long long ago I was an innocent child. Innocence is a gift that I miss the most. A child who knows nothing of the world that awaits him. On this night he only knows the intoxicating scent of the pine tree, peppermint, oranges. Shimmering tinsel, colored lights, ornamental balls that give mesmerizing reflections.

And soft, silent snowfall outside. Promising magic.

Jon

only me, a reflective mood

             🌲⛄️ ❤️⛄️🌲

Miserable updates and more Xmas memories upcoming

 

Trying to correct typos