Last night, after quite a while, I had another loop dream. I think I told someone about this loop dreams before.. It's like a never ending staircases. Up, down, left and right, it's just stairs. There's also doors at some ends.
Last night the dream is a little different. I saw this weird cell door (you know, those 'pintu penjara' type of door) that leads into a corridor instead of the usual 'another stairs'. This door is like all other cell doors though, locked.
Now like always, I wonder why is it all cell doors in my loop dreams are locked? I mean the only kind of door I can see through, always locked. The other type, of which I can't see through, are all unlocked. So, what do you think?
I think these kind of dreams are rare. I never heard anyone else having this kind of dreams. Like how some people experience 'sleep paralysis', I have rare conditions I guess. Another kind of dreams I usually have are lucid dreams and multi-level dreams.
Multi-level dream scares me a big deal. Why? Because when I have these dreams, I always know I'm dreaming but when I wake up from one lucid dream into another dream, I'll begin to be afraid of never waking up from dream state into the real world. Also, most of my multi-level dreams are more than five layers. Very rare, it'll be less.
Hmm.. I think I need to see a dream expert..
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Daybreakers
After searching for quite a while, I finally found this film. I don't know if any of you have watched it but as far as I remember, this film never goes into cinemas in Malaysia.
So how do I found out about this movie? Well, trailers from the internet of course. The story? It's about a vampire scientist named Edward who is trying to find a way to produce a substitute for human blood to cater to every vampires' need.
It was never explicitly stated why, but the way Edward tries so hard inevitably makes you wonder why does he care? Because he is worried about turning into Subsiders, the savage monster vampires will turn into if they were deprived of human blood for too long? Nope. Not the case I think because Edward refused to consume human blood although he knows that means he will gradually turn into one.
Also worth noting, Edward helped and saved a group of human from vampire cops although one of them (the female lead) shot him with a bow gun. Realizing that there's a risky way to become human again, he didn't hesitate to turn into his previous mortal self.
Try and get this movie and watch it. I'm suggesting that you turn the volume down when you do because there's a few shocking moments. After you are done, I'm pretty sure you, like myself will see what Edward see. Human is mortal and weak in many ways but it's the value of being 'alive' that matters, even that value will be a short lived one. Watch it guys. Definitely worth your time.
So how do I found out about this movie? Well, trailers from the internet of course. The story? It's about a vampire scientist named Edward who is trying to find a way to produce a substitute for human blood to cater to every vampires' need.
It was never explicitly stated why, but the way Edward tries so hard inevitably makes you wonder why does he care? Because he is worried about turning into Subsiders, the savage monster vampires will turn into if they were deprived of human blood for too long? Nope. Not the case I think because Edward refused to consume human blood although he knows that means he will gradually turn into one.
Also worth noting, Edward helped and saved a group of human from vampire cops although one of them (the female lead) shot him with a bow gun. Realizing that there's a risky way to become human again, he didn't hesitate to turn into his previous mortal self.
Try and get this movie and watch it. I'm suggesting that you turn the volume down when you do because there's a few shocking moments. After you are done, I'm pretty sure you, like myself will see what Edward see. Human is mortal and weak in many ways but it's the value of being 'alive' that matters, even that value will be a short lived one. Watch it guys. Definitely worth your time.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Traffic Accident
Yesterday has been a quite tiring day for me. I thought the day will go event-less and I can 'fong gong' as usual but..
The last few working hours (two, to be exact), my uncle's driver went to deliver the last batch of goods. Five minutes after he left, he returned, the car is badly dented and he told us a motorbike crashed onto it.
My uncle then 'dispatched' me to check and negotiate things out with the family of the two speed devils. At the clinic, one of the biker (the passenger of the bike) was said to have passed out and the rider has his small finger 'smashed', with some other small slashes here and there.
The family seems a bit upset and although no argument happened, I kept my uncle's driver aside so that things don't get too heated up. After a few words, I found out the rider has no licence. Of course you have to take advantage of that fact to protect yourself right? Also, it was their fault to overtake when the car in front of them is going into a right hand side junction with its signal already flashing.
At the request of both's family, I agreed to spare a few hours of my night time to fetch their family members who will be there at the hospital back to their home because they have no transportation to get home. I think that's not what I have to do but I did anyway, due to sympathy.
During my time at the hospital, I asked both of them on how the accident actually happened and if they saw the car stopped, in anticipation to turn into a right junction, with its signal flashing. The rider said there's 'probably' no signal while the passenger said he's not sure because he's at the back seat and therefore can't see what's in front of them. This statement must be taught by their relatives.. Trying to turn the blame on my uncle's driver?!
Maybe this sounds like terrible things to do, but I'm just trying to protect what's true according to my uncle's driver's statement. I recited their statement and said this "Okay your statement doesn't 'tick'. 1) You (the passenger) are much taller than you (the rider) so how can you not see what's in front? 2) Are you (the rider) sure that there's no signal? The sun is shining on your face and I checked, the signal still works. Tell me, how can a driver who never had summons like my uncle's 'forgot' to flash that working signal? 3) Perhaps the most inportant thing of all, you can't make police report because you (the rider) and I know what you don't have (driving licence)".
They were both silent and the passenger's sister and rider's mother asked me how the doctor report should sounds like. I suggested to them a short story and they obliged so as to not 'prolong' the story because they are at fault no matter how they put it (if they are trying to blame us). After a good few hours of waiting for the admission to be done, I sent both women home. Case closed.
Do I sound like a vile villain? I'm not trying to blame them. I even 'protected' them from giving the false statement that will no doubt leads to police investigation, which of course will mean more trouble to them. I also offered them one big relief - they don't have to pay us compensation for the damage on my uncle's company car. I really think that's reasonable enough.
The last few working hours (two, to be exact), my uncle's driver went to deliver the last batch of goods. Five minutes after he left, he returned, the car is badly dented and he told us a motorbike crashed onto it.
My uncle then 'dispatched' me to check and negotiate things out with the family of the two speed devils. At the clinic, one of the biker (the passenger of the bike) was said to have passed out and the rider has his small finger 'smashed', with some other small slashes here and there.
The family seems a bit upset and although no argument happened, I kept my uncle's driver aside so that things don't get too heated up. After a few words, I found out the rider has no licence. Of course you have to take advantage of that fact to protect yourself right? Also, it was their fault to overtake when the car in front of them is going into a right hand side junction with its signal already flashing.
At the request of both's family, I agreed to spare a few hours of my night time to fetch their family members who will be there at the hospital back to their home because they have no transportation to get home. I think that's not what I have to do but I did anyway, due to sympathy.
During my time at the hospital, I asked both of them on how the accident actually happened and if they saw the car stopped, in anticipation to turn into a right junction, with its signal flashing. The rider said there's 'probably' no signal while the passenger said he's not sure because he's at the back seat and therefore can't see what's in front of them. This statement must be taught by their relatives.. Trying to turn the blame on my uncle's driver?!
Maybe this sounds like terrible things to do, but I'm just trying to protect what's true according to my uncle's driver's statement. I recited their statement and said this "Okay your statement doesn't 'tick'. 1) You (the passenger) are much taller than you (the rider) so how can you not see what's in front? 2) Are you (the rider) sure that there's no signal? The sun is shining on your face and I checked, the signal still works. Tell me, how can a driver who never had summons like my uncle's 'forgot' to flash that working signal? 3) Perhaps the most inportant thing of all, you can't make police report because you (the rider) and I know what you don't have (driving licence)".
They were both silent and the passenger's sister and rider's mother asked me how the doctor report should sounds like. I suggested to them a short story and they obliged so as to not 'prolong' the story because they are at fault no matter how they put it (if they are trying to blame us). After a good few hours of waiting for the admission to be done, I sent both women home. Case closed.
Do I sound like a vile villain? I'm not trying to blame them. I even 'protected' them from giving the false statement that will no doubt leads to police investigation, which of course will mean more trouble to them. I also offered them one big relief - they don't have to pay us compensation for the damage on my uncle's company car. I really think that's reasonable enough.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Right or Wrong?
Have you ever did something and soon after, finding you asking yourself the question above? Must be so many times right? Unfortunately, there's no definite answer for that.
Yesterday, my aunt brought this story home. About a guy, and a woman, whose story is somewhat similar to mine and Michelle's. The difference is that the guy and the woman decided to 'keep it going'.
If you know me and Doris, you probably know the story. What happened then, I think I don't have to tell the story yet again. I just wonder what people think about such 'incident'?
My grandma and aunt were extremely expressive yesterday. "Why does the guy opted to ruin people's family?" is their main disgust. Who knows.. Maybe the guy approached the woman not realising she's married? If that's the case, the woman is the one to blame. In my and Michelle's case? I guess wrong timing is the problem.
I think Michelle and I'm not 100% innocent. It happened in an unfortunate window of time. But I never plan to ruin other's family. I did told her one wrong sentence that sounds like this - "This is your choice to make. The most important thing is that you won't regret it later". When I told her that, I don't know she's pregnant..
That's a big wrong sentence. When I found out she's pregnant, I changed my tone and told her "Divorce is out of option because you have to be resposible to your child". She probably felt betrayed because she misunderstood my first remarks.
At that time, when she told me her feelings, I do feel suprised. Should a married woman really say "I love you" to someone who is NOT her husband? Then I think, human have feelings. Being married doesn't mean a woman has become inhuman and thus lose all feelings. They still feel pain and love. But should this love reserved solely for her husband? Hmm.. Seems like, we can't blame Michelle.
It's easy to blame people right? But try and think, ask a few more logical questions, the situation changes quickly. Just like how I asked if Michelle, having married to another guy, should develop feelings for me? Then again, she's still a human who feels pain from her broken marriage and in an unfortunate turn of events, developed feelings for someone who talked to her, understanding and protective. We can't say she's abnormal now can we?
Okay, despite of my sentences above, I must clearly state this. Marriage comes with responsibility. You can argue and say break up line with your girl or boyfriend, but NEVER EVER simply say the divorce line after you are married. Think of the consequences before you finally decide on whether a divorce is really necessary before you say that line. If you found yourself falling for someone else, THINK and reconsider. Is that love, or a sudden rush of emotions before you act further. Be diligent, be RESPONSIBLE.
Anyway, Michelle took actions. Removing and blocking me out from both her Facebook account and life, it seems like she made the best choice. Ultimately, we walk on different path now. The question sometimes come to my mind. "How is she doing? Has 'taking the best action' led to her finally finding her 'happily ever after' part of life?". I hope so.
Yesterday, my aunt brought this story home. About a guy, and a woman, whose story is somewhat similar to mine and Michelle's. The difference is that the guy and the woman decided to 'keep it going'.
If you know me and Doris, you probably know the story. What happened then, I think I don't have to tell the story yet again. I just wonder what people think about such 'incident'?
My grandma and aunt were extremely expressive yesterday. "Why does the guy opted to ruin people's family?" is their main disgust. Who knows.. Maybe the guy approached the woman not realising she's married? If that's the case, the woman is the one to blame. In my and Michelle's case? I guess wrong timing is the problem.
I think Michelle and I'm not 100% innocent. It happened in an unfortunate window of time. But I never plan to ruin other's family. I did told her one wrong sentence that sounds like this - "This is your choice to make. The most important thing is that you won't regret it later". When I told her that, I don't know she's pregnant..
That's a big wrong sentence. When I found out she's pregnant, I changed my tone and told her "Divorce is out of option because you have to be resposible to your child". She probably felt betrayed because she misunderstood my first remarks.
At that time, when she told me her feelings, I do feel suprised. Should a married woman really say "I love you" to someone who is NOT her husband? Then I think, human have feelings. Being married doesn't mean a woman has become inhuman and thus lose all feelings. They still feel pain and love. But should this love reserved solely for her husband? Hmm.. Seems like, we can't blame Michelle.
It's easy to blame people right? But try and think, ask a few more logical questions, the situation changes quickly. Just like how I asked if Michelle, having married to another guy, should develop feelings for me? Then again, she's still a human who feels pain from her broken marriage and in an unfortunate turn of events, developed feelings for someone who talked to her, understanding and protective. We can't say she's abnormal now can we?
Okay, despite of my sentences above, I must clearly state this. Marriage comes with responsibility. You can argue and say break up line with your girl or boyfriend, but NEVER EVER simply say the divorce line after you are married. Think of the consequences before you finally decide on whether a divorce is really necessary before you say that line. If you found yourself falling for someone else, THINK and reconsider. Is that love, or a sudden rush of emotions before you act further. Be diligent, be RESPONSIBLE.
Anyway, Michelle took actions. Removing and blocking me out from both her Facebook account and life, it seems like she made the best choice. Ultimately, we walk on different path now. The question sometimes come to my mind. "How is she doing? Has 'taking the best action' led to her finally finding her 'happily ever after' part of life?". I hope so.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
R.I.P. Hamster!
Remember the four kittens I mentioned in one of my previous posts? Two went missing. One of them found dead, bitten by dogs, the other one was taken in by others, and the other two, stayed with me. All of them suffered from something called cat flu. Of the two that stay with me, one recovered and today, one died.
I don't know its cause of death. The flu, or it's injury? The little one (my sister named Hamster due to it's size) has an injury to its upper spine. Its head tilts a little more to the right. This injury has been there for quite a while and yet little Hamster survived until last night.
I know what it sounds like. I'm pretty sad with little Hamster's death because I'm the one who first saw it laying there, dead. The only kitten left, even played with little Hamster, not knowing its sister is dead.
For others, I don't know. But for me, it made me think about life. Witnessing many death makes me appreciate life of others. With my 'weakness', I don't think I'll be a good doctor because for me, witnessing death is a very painful experience. I can't see any life coming to an end, just like I can't see others in pain. Weak right?
Hmm.. What's next after death I wonder. In one way, I should be glad that little Hamster is no longer sick or in pain. So, is death a good thing? Sometimes you can't help but think death is actually a 'release' from sufferings. Do you believe in God and the saying "God loves you and one way He shows it, is by ending your suffering"? That makes death a 'gift'.
To be quite frank, I don't have much religion faith. That'd be why for me, death of others is a negative thing. To be more specific, a tragedy. Despite of that weakness, I think sometimes I'm a furious guy. Bad people dies prompt me to think "Serves him/her right!". Why? Is there any difference in lives' value? I don't know..
It made me wonder, what kind of person I am? I want to know but.. I'd better not think too much because I am afraid I'll be admitted into an asylum for getting sot for thinking too much.
I don't know its cause of death. The flu, or it's injury? The little one (my sister named Hamster due to it's size) has an injury to its upper spine. Its head tilts a little more to the right. This injury has been there for quite a while and yet little Hamster survived until last night.
I know what it sounds like. I'm pretty sad with little Hamster's death because I'm the one who first saw it laying there, dead. The only kitten left, even played with little Hamster, not knowing its sister is dead.
For others, I don't know. But for me, it made me think about life. Witnessing many death makes me appreciate life of others. With my 'weakness', I don't think I'll be a good doctor because for me, witnessing death is a very painful experience. I can't see any life coming to an end, just like I can't see others in pain. Weak right?
Hmm.. What's next after death I wonder. In one way, I should be glad that little Hamster is no longer sick or in pain. So, is death a good thing? Sometimes you can't help but think death is actually a 'release' from sufferings. Do you believe in God and the saying "God loves you and one way He shows it, is by ending your suffering"? That makes death a 'gift'.
To be quite frank, I don't have much religion faith. That'd be why for me, death of others is a negative thing. To be more specific, a tragedy. Despite of that weakness, I think sometimes I'm a furious guy. Bad people dies prompt me to think "Serves him/her right!". Why? Is there any difference in lives' value? I don't know..
It made me wonder, what kind of person I am? I want to know but.. I'd better not think too much because I am afraid I'll be admitted into an asylum for getting sot for thinking too much.
Apple vs. Samsung
Suddenly, I feel like expressing my thought and opinion on this case after reading the news on Apple's victory over Samsung in the court.
In my opinion, it's time for self-reflection. I mean for Samsung. I may sound like an Apple fanboy but no, I love Samsung. I just think it's time for Samsung to be 'independent'. Yes, I think Samsung has been riding on Apple's success.
From Samsung's Galaxy S II onwards, I can see Samsung trying to form their own identity. Prior to that, there's a Galaxy S. I don't think Galaxy S is really a 100% iPhone copy. But that doesn't mean I think Samsung is 100% innocent as well because Galaxy S is still a 95% iPhone 3GS copy. Any number over 50%, means a product is a copycat.
It's time for Samsung to lead Apple instead of 'following' them. Quit designing their smartphones to look like an iPhone, and quit using Android that's too iPhone-like. Of course quiting Android sounds like a too drastic measure. What I'm suggesting is for Samsung to cooperate with Google on a deeper level.
Imagine future Galaxy S sequels using rotate-to-zoom, spread-to-open new window, and so on. Apple sued Samsung for using slide-to-unlock. So what? Samsung already have the 'face unlock' feature. Just make it standard and Samsung would've been unique.
Samsung must find their own identity. Seriously, Samsung and Android can be special and unique if both Samsung and Google can find ideas to make themselves special. It's not an impossible task really. Looking beyond the easy way (taking iPhone's element into Samsung smartphones) is the key to that.
In my opinion, it's time for self-reflection. I mean for Samsung. I may sound like an Apple fanboy but no, I love Samsung. I just think it's time for Samsung to be 'independent'. Yes, I think Samsung has been riding on Apple's success.
From Samsung's Galaxy S II onwards, I can see Samsung trying to form their own identity. Prior to that, there's a Galaxy S. I don't think Galaxy S is really a 100% iPhone copy. But that doesn't mean I think Samsung is 100% innocent as well because Galaxy S is still a 95% iPhone 3GS copy. Any number over 50%, means a product is a copycat.
It's time for Samsung to lead Apple instead of 'following' them. Quit designing their smartphones to look like an iPhone, and quit using Android that's too iPhone-like. Of course quiting Android sounds like a too drastic measure. What I'm suggesting is for Samsung to cooperate with Google on a deeper level.
Imagine future Galaxy S sequels using rotate-to-zoom, spread-to-open new window, and so on. Apple sued Samsung for using slide-to-unlock. So what? Samsung already have the 'face unlock' feature. Just make it standard and Samsung would've been unique.
Samsung must find their own identity. Seriously, Samsung and Android can be special and unique if both Samsung and Google can find ideas to make themselves special. It's not an impossible task really. Looking beyond the easy way (taking iPhone's element into Samsung smartphones) is the key to that.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Disharmony
It happens again. In house war. It's no longer surprising to be honest. Everytime it happens, it's because of petty issues. Kind of frustrating this time around because I'm suffering from a migraine attack.
I tried so hard to keep everything intact. But too many time, 'crack' shows up and I have to repair them. I'm like glue, bonding everything together. To what extent I can keep doing this, I don't know but if things broke down too much and everytime it broke down it gets worse and harder to repair, it's time to throw it all away.
I love my grandma and grandpa but if they can't get along with my mother, I have no choice but to 'hand them over' to their sons. It sounds cruel. But is it not their sons' responsibility to take care of them? Furthermore, I'm all my mother have. For them, I'm not the only one they have so.. I have to leave them in their rightful place even if I hate to do it.
Problem is, my uncle is an a*shole. He wouldn't listen. He just pretends like this thing can still work if we try to live harmoniously. If my mother and grandparents can, they would have, a long time ago. How can he not see how broken up things are? He's just pretending because (I don't have to guess) deep down he knows his wife and my grandparents won't be able to get along well too. He just don't want to do what I'm doing now. He knows, if he takes my grandparents in, he will have to endure what I'm enduring now.
My other uncle? He should be able to take my grandparents in. But that is if he disagree with his wife. My aunt has openly stated "I can only help you (my grandparents) if you need transportations to places". Only fetch my grandparents when they need to go to the clinic? What is this?! It's a 'poisonous' statement.
How messed up. I don't like to say this but to put it in a bad way, "I'm actually picking up my uncles' shit". Their mess is my problem. Unbelievable. I have my own problem.. One of them is a problem called Suzanne. That alone is big enough and nobody can help me with it.
What should I do? I want to leave my grandparents in their rightful place but their rightful place is rejecting them. If I forced myself to leave them, they might end up not in the rightful place but the wrong place. That would be a bigger 'shit'.
I tried so hard to keep everything intact. But too many time, 'crack' shows up and I have to repair them. I'm like glue, bonding everything together. To what extent I can keep doing this, I don't know but if things broke down too much and everytime it broke down it gets worse and harder to repair, it's time to throw it all away.
I love my grandma and grandpa but if they can't get along with my mother, I have no choice but to 'hand them over' to their sons. It sounds cruel. But is it not their sons' responsibility to take care of them? Furthermore, I'm all my mother have. For them, I'm not the only one they have so.. I have to leave them in their rightful place even if I hate to do it.
Problem is, my uncle is an a*shole. He wouldn't listen. He just pretends like this thing can still work if we try to live harmoniously. If my mother and grandparents can, they would have, a long time ago. How can he not see how broken up things are? He's just pretending because (I don't have to guess) deep down he knows his wife and my grandparents won't be able to get along well too. He just don't want to do what I'm doing now. He knows, if he takes my grandparents in, he will have to endure what I'm enduring now.
My other uncle? He should be able to take my grandparents in. But that is if he disagree with his wife. My aunt has openly stated "I can only help you (my grandparents) if you need transportations to places". Only fetch my grandparents when they need to go to the clinic? What is this?! It's a 'poisonous' statement.
How messed up. I don't like to say this but to put it in a bad way, "I'm actually picking up my uncles' shit". Their mess is my problem. Unbelievable. I have my own problem.. One of them is a problem called Suzanne. That alone is big enough and nobody can help me with it.
What should I do? I want to leave my grandparents in their rightful place but their rightful place is rejecting them. If I forced myself to leave them, they might end up not in the rightful place but the wrong place. That would be a bigger 'shit'.
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