Untitled.

It used to be One Direction - More than this.

Now it's Plain White T's - Hate (I really really really don't like you).

Go figure.

A day at work

What do you do when you're stressed at work?

Another day

Its been quite crazy. Since 1st March.

Venting it out here gives me a sense of being organised. I want to actually go back in time and look at it and analyse what had happened.

errrr..

now i'm blank.

so i think i'll just do it inside my head. Lately i've been feeling that i need to go back to my habit of going into the cave. there i dwell and probably become a bit more withdrawn. There are only so many times that you can take of being ignored no matter how many times you talk about it without becoming like a broken record being played over and over again.

At least in my cave, I can listen to my own echo, not necessarily a good thing but some sort of a necessity and a kind of defence mechanism to withstand everything that's been happening around me.

Don't get me wrong, maybe i'm pms'ing...maybe not. I'm still grateful for what I have. And everything around me is just a challenge..but i need to become stronger to withstand it all.

erghgh

Aimless

I never felt so aimless as I did today.

I didn't even want to go out today. I just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep.

But Azib requested me to send him to McDonald's for his schoolmate's birthday gathering. Well, since he eagerly waited for me at the door when I arrived home yesterday and told me he wanted me to send him to the said gathering, I just agreed.

The night before I went to Mamih, with a couple of friends. The turnout was good. I was surprised actually, because Vi and I always invit ed others for dinner/lunch/breakfast and never really get the desired headcount. Last night, I wasn't really that hopeful people other than me, viana and mirul to be there. BUT they came and that's good enough for me. :) However, I NEVER FELT so old as I did that night. I was tired by 9.00p.m. The night was still young. I think being swamped at work, I mean super SWAMPED at work really take out all the energy outta me. Hence the flu I got last week.

No matter how tired and sleepy I am, I kinda always wake up at around 6-7ish everyday or 8ish being the latest so far even on a non-work day. I wonder where I get the energy from. But I do know where my motivation comes from as well as my source of happiness. Only I know.

As I was saying, today was spent on sending Azib to McD and I went for a stroll at the Mall. Nothing particularly interests me there. I lost the desire to be just enjoying myself. I went to Secret Recipe. ALONE. I had Baked Cheese Cake and Banana Milkshake. After that I went to the bookshop and annoyingly the collection is saddeningly limited. I wish we have a good bookstore in Brunei.......or at least buying books from the internet won't cost so much (from the shipping cost angle) as well as the almost perfect unreliableness of the postage system here.

I watched Percy Jackson with Azib. It was a good movie, but even that had little effect on making me happy. I think my mind is really warped and tuned in to worrying about my work. I don't know.

Anyways. Enough.

Lufias

Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year

and

Happy Valentine's Day.

I'm having a writer's block. I haven't been able to come up with any idea on what to write and come up with anything brilliant to write.

So much has happened in my life. I am really grateful for what I have right now. I just realised it, that soon in May, it'd be my first year anniversary as a working man!...errgh, I am a man now! It's weird calling myself and categorising myself that, I mean I am a MAN...but that word somehow makes me realise that I am not a boy anymore. People will tend to look at and treat me seriously now. They will judge me. Any mistakes will definitely be painfully scrutinised and criticised. Any achievement will highlighted but then again any mistakes, any small mistake will tend to easily erase that.

I've been living my life as happy as I could. Eventhough I am sometimes called pemarah. I don't get it. It's so kambing..HEHEHEH I am the most cheerful person. hehehehe


Guess what, I am not having a writer's block anymore, I am fine, I can write a couple paragraphs more than a couple of paragraphs. More often than not, I will start off saying I don't have any ideas on what to write, but in the end as you can see, the ideas are flowing. And as you can see usually it will turn out into me rambling about stuff.

All in all. Life is great. Wishing things could happen earlier is a waste of time, because what's important is now. And now will definitely shape up the future. I am not sure if I understood it myself. It sounds cool enough..I think :)

Anwyays I gotta go. I think I've written quite enough

Amazed by Honey Bee and Cigarettes.

Dear Honey Bee,

You told me you weren’t gonna drink tonight but you went to a bar. Honey Bee, I called you over and over…but I think you missed my calls. Now your clothes smell like cigarettes, and I know you don’t smoke at all… and I hope it won’t happen again another time.

But Honey Bee, that’s alright…because everything that you do never fails to amaze me. No matter what, your Honey Bee here loves you the way you are even if it means standing up against the Queen. I want to put my arms all around you, and surround you…and touch every place in your heart.

Honey Bee, I want to spend the whole night in your arms…I don’t know what you do what you do; But I am so in love with you, and it just keeps getting better.

Honey Bee, I’m amazed by you. You readily accept others’ flaws but seem too harsh on yourself. But Honey Bee, listen to me…you’re perfect as you are and that’s all you need to know. This Honey Bee will accept you no matter what, for better or worse – Even if the colony shuns you, took away all your stripes and have your wings broken off. This Honey Bee will come and save you and Honey Bee I just wanna spend my life by your side...forever and ever.

Yours,

Honey Bee.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The above words and sentences aren’t originally..I’ve taken bits and pieces from 3 songs that are my current favorite and put them together and make a story out of it. Whaddya think?? Ehehe I don’t usually have favorite songs – because I think it’s unfair for the other songs ahahaha.

The three songs are from
1) Zee Avi – Honey Bee
2) Daniel Merriweather - Cigarettes
3) Lonestar – Amaze

Go Google them, or Youtube them..ehehhe.

Yours,

Lufias

Luminox

(disclaimer: I claim no ownership of the photo above, if the relevant people want me to take it off please feel free to drop me a line and I'd be happy to remove it from this page. thanks)

I am the proud owner of Luminox Blackout watch..hehehehe Google it for more info. Im enjoying this masterpiece...on my wrist! Retail Price B$1599. My first ever expensive watch. That's why I published the price. ahahhaha :D and I'm happy.

Hear ye Hear ye

Taking the time off from work seems the logical thing to do now. Being a workaholic like the rest of my colleagues seem to be beneficial…really beneficial. BUT. It does put a strain on my physical and emotional self…by that I mean, I am not a robot, I do get tired.

You (I) do work, and the pay not that excellent (still good) but worth it. Because in the end you (I) know you’ve (I’ve) earned the right to spend it OR save it, put it in a Fixed Deposit account or just simply let it sit in the bank.
However, this doesn’t really apply to everyone. People work to get paid. That’s all there is to it. Some people may argue that ‘why put more effort if you’re not paid that much’. True. True. People have opinions of their own. No rights or wrongs. Just two sides of different opinions. Two polar opposites, bi-polar (to borrow a word from Ian).

My opinion, work hard now…pray hard, achieve, and achieve more…play fair/hard…make friends (+ a few jealous, undeserving enemies), lose some friends because you’ve grown apart…but in the end, God willing, you’ll be rewarded with what you want or dreamed of – a good life or a better one because you work hard for it and strive to get where you are at that point of life in future. Now who doesn’t want a good life/better one than they have right now? Always the formula for that one is work hard. (this doesn’t apply to mega rich people ehhehe).

I am at a point in my life where every decision and every step I make is crucial…Financial decision, Life decision..etc etc…but one thing is clear to me. I need to achieve more, improve myself in terms of academic achievement. Get myself a masters’ degree, an ACCA qualification…all these before I turn 30. I’ve been to three great wonders…these are enough for now. Great Wall, Angkor Wat and Eiffel Tower, the first two through luck and the last when I was studying in the UK….I might add somemore along the years to come... To Taj Mahal. To the Pyramids in Egypt/Giza…where else? I’ll google them nanti.

The year is 2010. If you add the numbers 20 and 10 together they sum up to 30…so that means? Nothing hahaha just wanna do some cool (is it?) random thoughts of maths. I love (I think ‘like’ would be a better word) adding numbers...normal manageable numbers just to keep my brain active enough. Try doing it. It’s good. Ahahah Coming back to 2010. It’s New Year. I don’t actually do the ritual of promising myself this and that (i.e Resolution). I don’t bother having them…down the line; I prefer to remind myself to be better this year than the last year. Because if I promise this and that, I might not be able to reach that goal, don’t get me wrong and say I’m a non-committal person. I am not a non-committal being. Once I commit myself to something, I’ll do it. We never know unless we give it a try right? Ehehhe Sometimes jumping into something is a great way to find out whether it’s good for me. And often times than not I usually get the result what I wanted. Like you’ve been holding back for a long time, you mull it over for a few years and you almost gave up but then once you give it a go…walla! It’s actually great. But don’t go back regretting it that you wished you’ve done it earlier, because everything has a place and proper time for it. But more like perfect timing.

2009 was a great year for me. I achieved the status of being employed in the month of February. Then unemployed for a month…then employed again and until now I’ve got a good job. I’m not satisfied yet, but as I said, will look for more to achieve. I am happy. In fact, much happier with everything. I named my car Sputnik…it is a cool name. I, of course has the best sense in everything...:)

Ooh, I didn’t know what to spend my first bonus on at first…but now I know what to get myself and splurge on. I’ll tell you once I have it.

For now that’s it, I gotta go.

Sputnik, Myself and I.
take care
Lufias.

taking break

taking a break from work...

i wanna go home :D

Haishhhh~

Oh i see. :(.

stressed
tired
mentally exhausted.