WOO~~! I am so happy today. I was given off for the first time after 6 months in Bravo Company. That's actually quite sad given such a long period of time but its the source of the off days that's truly gratifying.

I GOT GOLD FOR IPPT!!!

It was in fact the first time I managed to clear all the static stations in a single take. Lol. Usually, I would either fail to make it for pull-ups or Standing Board Jump. For my take yesterday, I only jumped 225 for Standing Board Jump at first. That was the Silver standard for IPPT. I was thinking of securing a Silver first since my hopes for a Gold might be just a dream(I haven't done my pull-ups station then). But then, after I managed to score 10 pull-ups later on, it just didn't make any sense to give SBJ a pass. I retried it and got 234 in a single jump(Gold standard).

Before the run, I told my platoon commander that all I was missing for my IPPT Gold was only a 9:44 timing for 2.4km. Somehow I knew I could do it. And I would.

The run was intensely mind challenging. I had to keep my mind distracted throughout the run and focus on working my body so that the exhaustion would never enter my head at all. It was a matter of perserverence within the mind all the way. I managed to take the lead at the start and part of my focus was to maintain the lead to the end. After all, lead runners should get their 9:44, shouldn't they?

While reaching the midpoint, I glanced at my watch. 4:30. Fast and steady. I just had to maintain this speed all the way back to the endpoint. The whole time while I ran back to the endpoint, I thought of a lot of things. I thought of the expression on people's faces when I waved to them when I passed them.. I wondered if the second runner was close behind me.. I thought of how this was going to be my last take of the year.

Yes.. these thoughts kept me off the exhaustion tearing my body apart then. No matter how dumb they were. It proved that the mind was strong enough to make the body endure through harsh pain by focusing on things other than the pain itself. Hopefully I will be able to do the same for my upcoming SOC by focusing the pain elsewhere.

Anyway I eventually saw the end point. It was a final 150m stretch of road from the place where they put a huge yellow SEIKO timer to tell us how much time we still had left and the end point itself. 8:50. I was in good timing.

My last 30m through the end point was a weak attempt at a sprint and a barely heard pant of "IPPT GOLD!". My watch displayed 9:20. It was worth it. Everything was darn worth it.

My PC asked me this question last Friday. Just before we were waiting to book out.

Xin Chu, are you happy in Bravo?

I didn't give an accurate reply. Still ok lah..

The truth is, I was much happier in Bravo when I just came in as compared to now. Somehow, some things have changed along the way. In the 6 months I have spent in the company, the last 2 months were the worst. The people changed, the higher command changed, the regimentation changed, the attitude changed, the atmosphere changed, the company changed. It just wasn't the company I joined 6 months ago. I know this changed was induced by the people, but what bothered me was how nothing went back to what it was despite promises that we will forget and move on.

I thought of getting out of this company last week. It struck me hard. I never thought I would ever be unhappy in Bravo company. But the truth is, I am unhappy. I don't like the way things are being done now. I don't like the way the company is falling apart.

Cause and effect. I know we can only have ourselves to blame. But it just doesn't seem fair that things are going this way.

Why can't they just see things in a better way? If something bad happens, why do we waste time blaming people instead of thinking about the new path to take now that things have already happened?