because it's already September (part 2).

it is ten minutes to 3a.m, and once more i am typing on this same keyboard with the same cup of hot green tea. guess some things don't change.


the same way i just came back from Jeremy's place basketball court to be exact, hair still soaked from my 2:30a.m shower. all gathered in a campfire circle without any actual fire, a carton of chocolate milk as furbishing. talking about everything from the meaning of dreams, parallels of universes, our most hidden dreams in life, disappointments and frustrations, goals and achievements; the basics of catching up. where talks are actually and literally endless, so much that we don't want to go home. give us the chance and we would have slept over at Jeremy's place.


except that this wasn't the normal type of catching up.

these people, in its most precise form, are my family.


i know everyone has their circle of friends. we all do, don't we? different circles in different settings. i don't say this with intention or thought that my other friends are any less. my love for the people i love is dimensional. but wow, this group that i have come to grow with. all the things we have gone through together, despite not being together physically. years and years of cherished friendship.


Jeremy see, i purple-ized your name whom i've known for a decade. a wholesome ten years, much longer than i'd known almost anyone else. it's hard to think that we've known each other that long, and it's probably no wonder why i talk to him like i'm talking to one of those cinapek mamats on the roadside. people say he's an ass and the truth is, he actually is. but he is one of the best asses, one you'd be damn lucky to meet.


then there's BoonHoe, whom i've always said was my little brother. always saying something without realizing the effect that it has on me. good effects, of course. my care and love for this growing man is endless. you hear me, BoonHoe? despite how much you think and actually do shit things up, you are growing to be such a wonderful person. dahlah kau handsome, macam pakej 3-in-1 Milo.


most Selfless Man Award: Adrian Koay. who can't even accept the award properly because he keeps on telling me that there are other people who are more selfless than he is. just shut up la ok. this one is overflowing with amazingness i cannot even put it in words because my words won't even do him justice.


JiaLi don't ah. if i write about this girl, this blog post will never end.


and then there are those who weren't present but were present in previous episodes and unforgettable times. BoonAun, John, Mark, Mei. all four whom have played such important roles in my short-lived life. i wish to write about them too but i don't want this post to appear like a will and as if i'm dying in two months.


these people were my childhood. all coming into my life in different periods and times, seeping in through the chapters like sleeves quietly, formulating parts of my story. and these people don't leave. nor do i want them to leave. if you knew me well enough and if i'd sarcastically let it out in slip tongue to you, if i don't want you in my life, i won't make any form of effort. i am selfish in the way where i won't care if i don't see anything worth holding on to in you.


but these people that i'd mentioned,
and perhaps so many more that i am not able to list down now because hell it's already 3:30a.m. i don't want them to leave. these people are stars amidst the skies of constellations that shine brighter than any other. excuse the damned cheese and corn but seriously ok. they really, really are.

I have come across varying walks of lives, meeting countless faces and phases... but no one compares to them. 

Justin made a very interesting remark about why God placed us in each other's lives.
so specifically and so uniquely, yet so simplistically.
how we are all parallel universes to each other, the way we understand each other even by just a flinch of an eye (:onz), the way we are so distinctively individual but at the same time, we connect. we just get each other.

i'd say each of our universes are rotating around each other. 

parallels. 

i am selfish in the sense that i never appreciate the people i have. i walk away and forget far too often. but God, if i can ask for one thing good that i do, is that i don't walk away from these people. that i keep them around and make the most simple and gentle reminders that i cherish their camaraderie. that's the smallest thing i ask for; that i be grounded and humbled and remember these people, as we all walk along our destined paths. because i am so very blessed to have these people be my friends.


as i drove home in my own solitude for two minutes,
i was sad.
but the good kind of sad, you know?

wow, so much gay emotions. 

such da gay song too. thanks ah Adrian. 

September- Chris Daughtry

because it's already September.

it was approximately 8:30 in the morning. the bright sun was glowing through the windows and i had thought it was noon. i wore an oversized World of Warcraft Naxxramas Themed T-shirt by J!NX for Blizzard Entertainment that i had been wearing from yesterday evening and Mei's baggy Hawaiian shorts instead of my usual dress pyjamas that i own. J made the weirdest i-just-got-awakened-by-the-stupid-morning-sun noise while M stayed asleep to my left.


it had been a pretty impromptu day,
what with me having gone over to spend time at his house til night time and then adjourning to Mei's place to give her cake and then heck, what is a party without JiaLi. an initial plan of sending her home later on failed as i fell asleep on Mei's bed and the night proceeded with intervals of waking up and laughing at each other more so of Mei and I laughing at Jiali ohgod and talking about.... stuff, at 3:30 in the morning before we all decided in unison to just shut up and go to official sleep.


i love these two. i really do.
and when JiaLi leaves to the UK to study, things are really going to change, i suppose.


there was this quote i came across that i can't remember at this point but damn should i have took it down or something about how when we really stop and realize how things have changed, how circumstances have differed and how roads have diverged, then only the sink hits us; that every single second, every tick on the clock is a change.


people are flying abroad. relationships, friendships and whatever other ships have burnt down and on the positive side, new ones have formed as well. in approximately one month, i am leaving Taman Sri Rampai for Sri Petaling before i come back to Setapak again in 2014. that means more distance from Mei and other close friends, no more jogs around the area, no more loitering walks in the playground or random basketball sessions at night. pasar malam, impromptu midnight birthday surprises, burgers at 2a.m.


just the distance, you know? 
as we go on each of our designated paths, we grow so much more into who we are supposed to be but every inch to that is every inch further from where we all initially started out. together. and i don't mean just physical distance, no no. physical distance is just a stab into the bitterness. it's when you grow further apart from people because that's just how life is. you can't go back to certain things, you can't relive moments and talk the same way to certain people anymore. that form of distance, wounds so much deeper than any other distance.


we can't choose the best pieces and string them together like a nice pearl necklace. that's just now how it works. but i am grateful for the collection that i have today. i am not asking for more, not meaning that i have any less. what i have for now is more than enough. and that's what's important, i suppose.


This Bitter Earth- Dinah Washington