The Dungeon

I live in a dungeon...at least that’s what my boss calls it.  I cannot say that he’s totally off the mark.   After all, I, myself, cannot decide if the apartment building I live in in Cebu is undergoing a renovation or if it’s a candidate for demolition.    

Mounds of sand and rock welcome visitors as soon as they enter the gate. Stacks of plywood and stuff take up one corner of the garage.  And even if it’s the middle of the day and the sun is out in full glory, the halls and the corners of building are cloaked in dark overcast.  

And my studiopad, as my landlady calls it...well, let’s just say my sister’s storage room (or Harry Potter’s closet of a room) may be bigger than my unit.   

Why stay there, I bet you’re asking.   It’s a 15-minute walk away from where I work.  It’s a 10-minute walk from my favourite spa.  It’s a 5-minute walk from the grocery.  It’s 2 minutes away from the coffee shop, the bakery, the laundry and the nail spa.    Best of all, it’s a 3-minute walk from the Redemptorist Church where I get to hear Mass and be nourished every day I’m in Cebu.   The building’s just behind the church and I have to say this is its top redeeming factor (get it? redeeming? redemptorist? redeeming? hehe)

Have I mentioned that the road (if you can call it a road but I guess it is since it actually has a road/street sign with an actual street name on it)...that the road to the building is one lane and is only wide enough to carry a small car going in OR out (not going in AND out, mind you).  So even if I took the taxi going home, I’d get off at the top of the road and walk a bit.   

One day, I was walking on the rough road (oh yeah, I failed to mention - it’s a rough road leading to the apartment).  My head was bent as I texted on my cel.   And suddenly, it hit me.  I mean, it literally hit me.  I hit a post.  And I looked ridiculously funny.  I always knew it’s not a good idea to drink and drive... nor to text and walk.  But hey, tao lang po.   

Anyway, as I turned away from the post and looked up at the building, it hit me.  This time, not a pole but a realization hit me.   That I am also a dungeon.  I am also a cross between undergoing renovation and demolition.   

I recalled Max Lucado and this book of his I read.  He said/reminded that the bible defines sin as “falling short of”.  And just as the apartment building falls short of beauty and ambiance and comfort, so do I.  Every single time I think or say badly of someone, I fall short of consideration; every time I turn a blind eye or deaf ear to someone in need, I fall short of compassion and kindness; every time I get annoyed, I fall short of patience and tolerance; and every single time I grumble and whine and complain, I fall short of faith and gratitude.

I await with bated breath and hope the apartment’s makeover and restoration, because just as the building leaves much to be desired, there is so much more to be desired in me.  And in spite of this, my Father blesses me and fills me with grace as He incessantly looks forward to my own complete and full renovation.    

SOME MORE KIDDIE MOMENTS

Since going Global and moving to the Visayas, my time with my niece and nephew are so precious and far between.  I try to visit them every month and in every visit, Isabel, my 3-year old niece, never fails to surprise me what can now do…or say, for that matter.

OMG  - Isabel’s favorite expression these days seem to be “Oh my God!” “Oh my gosh!” “Oh my golly!”  

When I heard her say these, I thought to myself, “Oh my Lord! Where does she hear all these?”

Stuck – My sister, Miles, tells me Isabel accidentally locked herself inside one of the bathrooms.   From inside the bathroom while trying with all her might to wrestle with the doorknob, Isabel called out to her mom, “Mom! I’m stuck here…forever!”

Miles, in a frantic, kept saying, “Isabel, unlock the door! Open the door, right now! Turn the lock and open the door! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!!!”

Isabel calmly replied, “OK! OK, Mom, don’t panic”

Don’t panic ka dyan!!!

Drowning – When I’m in Manila, I stay with Miles and family.  One night, after coming home from a tiring meeting in and an exhausting commute from Makati, I was sooo drained.  To relax, I went straight to Isabel’s room and joined her watching a Pirates show on Disney Junior channel.  In one of the scenes, Isabel excitedly pointed out the hole in the pirates’ ship and narrated, “Look at the ship, aunty ninang! The pirates! They they they put a hole!”  

Aunty Ninang Maan, even in exhaustion, tried to join in the story-telling and continued, “Oh no, the ship is…the ship is… the ship…”  my brain cells apparently too tired as well, grasped for the right words, “the ship is…drowning!”

Isabel looked at me strangely for a second or two and corrected, “It’s sinking, aunty ninang. Sinking!”

Hehehe Drowning daw?

Poker face -  Lady Gaga music video clips have been so visible on TV with all the promotions for her concert.  Isabel picked up a line from one of Lady Gaga songs and she keeps singing over and over, “Kevin slice, Kevin slice, don’t wanna be a poker face….” 

I guess it’s true- the controversial lyrics to Lady Gaga’s songs are just a matter of interpretation. 

Math - Isabel is fascinated with numbers (it’s no surprise really with a math genius for a father).  One time, while punching out and reciting the numbers in the calculator, she asked her mom what the plus (+) sign was for.  

“It’s for adding numbers” Mommy Miles explained.  To illustrate, she cited an example “Say, you have one dog you and you have another  dog.  So, using the plus (+) sign, you add 1 dog + 1 dog, and you’ll have….?” Mommy Miles asked Isabel.

Isabel answered excitedly, “Many dogs!!!”

Oo ng noh?

Inigo – In the car on our way home after a long day of lakwatsa, Inigo, my 5-month old nephew, started getting fidgety and sleepy.  As he cried in frustration, his mom, yaya and I all but tried everything song and jiggle and bounce to settle him down.  Nothing worked….until Isabel held his hands, said, “Hey ‘Nigo, it’s ok ‘Nigo.” and started singing to him in a soothing voice, “Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder….”  

Inigo calmed down until we got home, soothed by his ate’s  singing.  Awwww! What a beautiful sight!

Bless the food -    Isabel leads the prayer before meals anywhere we may be, at home or in a resto.  One time we were in Shakey’s and amidst the noise inside the full resto, Isabel, in a voice loud enough to carry out her words throughout the nearby tables, led the prayer, “In the name of the Father….Bless us oh Loooord, en this this gift,  which we’re aaaabout receive, thru Christ, Lord. Amen! In the name of the Father…”    

After the prayer, Isabel blurted, “Oh no! I forgot again ‘from thy bounty’!”  

 She then made the sign of the cross and started praying again…and, of course, forgot again the line “from thy bounty”  

Kiddie Moments

 

My sister and I were “testing” 3-year old Isabel on family names...

 

What’s the name of mommy? – “Miles” she’d say.

What’s daddy’s name?  - “Daddy Ricky”

What’s your brother’s name?

 

Isabel got stumped at that, surprising both me and miles.  Inigo, her 10-month old brother, was sleeping in the adjoining room and so mommy miles thought of asking the question in a different way.   “What’s the name of the boy sleeping in the other room?"

 

“Iñigo!!!” Isabel excitedly answered. 

 

So we asked, “So who is Inigo?” thinking Isabel would answer “my baby brother”.  Instead, Isabel answered, “the boy sleeping in the next room.” 

 

Oo nga naman.

 

 

Melanie Marquez moment

 

Isabel loves to bake...or rather loves to help out and “put in her own flavour”  while mommy miles or daddy ricky bakes.

 

One time, as mommy miles and Isabel were putting finishing touches on a fudge brownie, Isabel placed pieces of coco crunch as toppings on the cake.   Mommy Miles said, “Wow! That is so beautiful Isabel.  Good job, honey!”

 

Isabel replied proudly, “Thank you.  I couldn’t have done it without myself.”

 

Idol si Melanie Marquez?

 

 

Bisaya moment

 

Isabel has a Baby Alive doll which actually drinks and wets her diapers.  One time, while playing the doll with her yayas, yaya Lingling asked jokingly, “Totoo kayang umiihi sya?

 

Isabel answered in a firm voice, “ ‘ Di man!”

 

Ay! Bisaya ka ‘day?

Parking angel

 I have just got to say this...God hears all our prayers...even the smallest, most trivial of them all.

I was rushing to the mall one late afternoon to buy a very vital piece of item - SHOES! And not just a pair of high heeled comfort sole shoes but a pair of high heeled comfort sole shoes on sale!   With a sale going on, I knew parking was going to be a challenge.  And so as I neared the  mall, I kept praying, "Lord, please send me your parking angel! Please, please open "slots" of opportunities for me." 

Even with the "Full" sign on, I went in the parking area inside the mall.  I drove past rows of jammed parking spaces.  I turned around to try my luck on other lanes only to find them packed with cars.  As I made yet another turn, I heard a whisper, "Slow down".  It was so clear and  pronounced that I turned my head in reflex at the sound of that soft voice.  Slow down I did and drove the car to a crawl.  After a few seconds, a couple appeared from nowhere and rushed to get in the car where I waited.

Swoosh! The car glided in the space so tightly guarded by my parking angel.  

So here I am, about to head out and face the traffic.  Will be calling my "hawi" angel sson. : ) 

Iñigo moments

My 10-month old nephew is such a delight to be with.  He smiles at everybody and everything...and I mean EVERY THING.

One time while being carried by his mom at the mall with the whole family (and by whole I mean the whole she-bang - mom, dad, granma, granpa, cousins, uncle, aunt, yaya and driver to boot), they saw him smiling at no one ...or so they thought.  They looked around and no one was nearby for Iñigo to give a smile to.  Granma looked at the direction of Inigo's smile and, lo and behold, he was giving a wide toothless smiling at the poster of  a K-pop star endorser with a big toothy smile.  

__________________________________

Iñigo has limited vocabulary as is expected from a 10-month old baby.  But I just love the words he has learned so far.

The first word he learned was "A-te" for ate Isabel (awwww)

Then he learned to say "Dad",  then , "Pop" (for papa which we all lovingly call granpa), then, "Ma" (for mama which is the endearment for granma).

But my favorite word so far is his term for his mommy which he calls (braze yourself) ..."Dede!"  He cries out for his mom, "Dede! Dede!"

our own little Vietcong

NEGA-star

There really is no need for you blink twice, it won't change. And no, it's not a misspell. I am a Negastar.  But with the birth of the Transformer Robots, I guess it’s just in style to call me a NEGA-tron instead...well, at least I was a  NEGA-tron.

I used to worry like crazy it made the people around me go crazy.  I was so panicky, it stressed people out.  I was always on edge. I’d go into frantic and anxiety attacks about things that have not happened and might actually never happen. 

In my travels, if I’m not en route to the airport at least 4 hours before my flight, I panic and go into a mantra saying, “I’m going to miss my flight. I’m going to miss my flight…”

My sister tries to calm me down and tells me to think positively.  And I try! I change my mantra to, “I’m positive I’m going to miss my flight. I’m so positive I’m going to miss my flight….”    

I’d easily get anxious about the traffic, the weather, the bills, my work, my bosses, my friends, my sister and her family, my health, my love life (weeeeeh! char!)… I worried just about everything else.   I did mention I was a NEGA-tron!  

But I have come to see that every moment – that moment in a heavy traffic, that moment when my laptop crashes just when I need it for a presentation, that moment when the queue is sooo long breakfast has turned to dinner, when a loved one is sick, when I’m amidst strangers speaking in a strange language in a strange island called Cebu, that moment when I’m slapped with more work than anyone can handle   - is where God is.  And to complain, to worry, to panic, to stress IS to show ingratitude to where HE has put me at that moment. 

Many times I fail miserably and  let my negative thoughts get the better of me.  But I bounce back, allowing God’s grace and divine providence to work it’s miracle in my chaotic life.   I’ve come to learn that when I offer and lift that moment to my Father, everything works out and falls into its proper place. 

My transformation from being a NEGA-tron is a slow one.  But I’m moving along and am so looking forward to becoming OPTIMISTIC Prime! 

TRANSFORMERS - Volt in! (Ngyeeee! Naging Voltes V)