I'm almost 27 now

Listen: 好久不見 Long Time No See - JAMES 楊永聰

It's been:

Almost 3 months since I started my new job

Almost 5 months since we moved into our own place (rented, of course - we ate so many avocados in NZ that I haven't wanted to touch any this year)

6 months since we moved to Sydney

More than 8 months since I last updated this blog

Almost a year since we left New Zealand

Almost a year - give or take a few hours - since I last had my birthday

Here's to another year with minimal health problems*

*I've cut my hands more times in these 6 months than while I was in NZ, and I was working in all sorts of jobs then.

Also an old long-term health issue seems to be back again (sigh)

As we are

Listen: Bloom - The Paper Kites

Watched the 2011 version of Jane Eyre recently, and thought the quote below was funny enough to screenshot.

Funny thing is I've had the book for so long, but never got round to reading it properly. Got the free ebook a few days ago, and was surprised to see that it was quoted verbatim from the book. Probably was too young when I first read the book to realize how much Bronte was pushing for women's rights way way back. Also all that passionate love story thingy - budak mana faham.

 
Anyway - on the subject of salary. Have been working at a certain internationally known coffee company for the past 2 months or so. So far I'm still new enough at my job to be learning new things, and still find customer requests funny.

I'm not laughing at you...but when you have to take orders 6 out of 7 days in a week, you have to find your amusement where you can get it. Here's some of the funniest ones so far:

1. Why didn't you tell me freshly brewed tea doesn't have milk in it?
2. Caramel macchiato less sweet...with extra caramel drizzle
3. Dark mocha only have ice blended but I want it hot.
4. Why does my cappuccino taste so milky? (He ordered the large size, which means more milk. Also I usually avoid ordering cappuccino anywhere cos I can't tahan the over milky taste.)
5. I bought so many drinks - 90 bucks you know! - why you can't give me another paper bag?
6. Why does the blueberry white chocolate cake have chocolate? That's a weird combination! (American who said it, btw. Nobody's judging why you guys put so much cinnamon in everything kay.)
7. Americano on the rocks (means no water, just ice) and add low fat milk. (Suuuure and that's not a latte. We know what you're doing but we just roll our eyes and give in.)
8. Caramel latte without sugar
9. Low fat less sweet green tea frappuccino...with whipped cream.
10. If I buy one drink, can I get another empty cup? (No DON'T TOUCH THE CUPS IF YOU'RE NOT PAYING, ffs.)
11. Does your mango jelly have real mango? (When I said probably yes, the guy laughed to himself for some time. Not sure his British accent was real or fake, face more cina than my husband pulak.)
12. *looking sheepish* Soy milk is vegetarian hor? (Explanation: it was during the Nine Emperor God festival and Penang people observe the vegetarian part really strictly. No fish, meat, eggs and milk for 9 days!!)
13. *orders long black* *requests for 2 small cups of steamed milk (we give the milk in super small cups for drinking water if you order milk separate)* *comes back to request for a small cup of cold milk*
14. *orders frappuccino and requests for spoon, then proceeds to eat frappuccino like ice cream* (Uncle, I kasi you satu like for returning the spoon after you finished your drink.)
15. *me suggesting she get the card for the perks* No I don't really drink so often. *comes back almost every day until I don't have to ask for her name*
16. I want this drink, I pay first and come back in half an hour okay? *comes back half an hour later* I've had this drink before and didn't like it, I shouldn't have ordered it.
17. No I don't want to give you my name. (You criminal or what now...I prefer when customers give funny names like Ultraman. Easier to differentiate from the Tans and Lims and Gohs. Also - please give a name so we don't mess up your order. If your order gets taken by someone else, don't throw bitch fit kay?)
18. Soy steamed milk with 2 espresso shots. (Cheaper than latte, uncle knows his pricing.) Can you also give me iced soy milk with espresso, but I want it blended. (Of cos I charged him for the frappuccino price - think you can con new buggers is it?)
19. Make sure you rinse my tumbler. *ten seconds later* Remember to wash my tumbler. *looks over where I'm making her drink* Rinse my tumbler ha. (So hard to wash your own tumbler at home is it??)
20. Put my name as...Oishii. (This from a serious Japanese businessman in full suit and tie.)

Funny thing about Korean and Japanese customers - they like to order ice Americanos. And whenever you see school/college kids - chocolate cream chip and green tea cream, all day, every day.

Also never get the chocolate roll - it's full of disappointment and lies. Chocolate both ends only, okay? Get the chocolate muffin. 

Look I'm 26

Basically birthdays these past few years.

But I'm still alive, so that's good.

This place aten't dead

Listen: No Room in Frame - Death Cab for Cutie

Haven't blogged here for almost a year, but just dropping by in case - in whatever small probability that you're still reading this - to tell you that I have another blog here, and a travel microblog updated almost daily here. I didn't sign in to this account for so long that Google had to send a verification code to my phone cos 'there's something unusual about the way you're signing in'. Yeah thanks.

So the new blog is a joint site with the husband, who did the layout for the main page, but not the blogs (this is his) since it's through Wordpress (ahahaha). So he posts the photos and writes in Chinese; I post the long wordy posts in English and give you the boring details. The travel microblog seems to work fine in the app but not through the usual browsers, so make of it what you will.

Right, you're going to ask: How's the trip so far?

[Update! I started my working holiday in New Zealand last year in October with the husband. Been here since then, except for a 2 week break in February cos the husband's parents insisted we had to be home for CNY for our first year of marriage. Meeting the extended family, you understand.

2nd update! We passed our first marriage (not wedding, cos the wedding was in September haha) anniversary in March.]

I'll reply: I'm really glad I had the chance to do this. Makes you realize what you've taken for granted. Like indoor bathrooms and a good night's sleep in a nice warm bed. Buuuttt if I hadn't gone camping, I wouldn't have known how nice it is to fall asleep outside to bird sounds (there are nocturnal birds, okay) and the sound of the sea. I've stayed in a condo beside Gurney Drive at my relatives' place a few times, but camping and hearing the waves is a different thing altogether.

Also you'll realize that there are lots of things you can give up when you have to be super careful of your budget. No money or space to buy books? Borrow ebooks to read on your (old!) iPad. Auckland Libraries is so so good I could cry. Thought I had to buy Pratchett's last book about Tiffany Aching - but the ebook was up for borrowing a few weeks after it was released. Got to read it for free ugaiz. Much happiness. And the magazines you can borrow online - while limited, still - are pretty awesome. Of cos those magazines have a limited number of downloads per weekly issue, so well-known titles like The Economist hit their limits within 1-2 days. Still, no complaining. I have downloaded more magazines than I have the time to read. Shameshameshame

Aaaaand been on my first tramping trip, and will say I won't do it again. I'd like to know how the DOC (Department of Conservation in NZ) classifies the difficulty of the Great Walks. And facilities and tracks on the Great Walks are generally better than the not very Great Walks, so I wonder if people who do go on those tracks are on Bear Grylls mode the whole time. Probably. Wouldn't be surprised, judging by the 'easy-moderate' rating for the Routeburn track we went on. By the last - and third! - day of the tramp we (there were 6 of us) were joking that the 'well-graded' track that the DOC brochure mentioned was a track that got an A+ rating from the grader (I'd like to know the grade was for what too), but wasn't the easy walking track that a sane person would have in mind. Buuuut you'd have to read about the tramp on the other lengthy blog, so do go back for updates. Not here.

Pop culture update time!

**HERE BE SPOILERS**

Is it me or is Season 6 of Game of Thrones getting disappointing? That downward slide started with the Sand Snakes, started accelerating when Doran Martell got killed (You were my chosen one! You were supposed to have a grand plan you could execute and bring the Lannisters to their knees! You lied!) and then skidded at the bottom when Melisandre resurrected Jon Snow.

a) I had a feeling Jon Snow wouldn't be dead, even though the book said so.

b) Melisandre resurrecting him was a cop-out, because I was hoping Jon Snow could be a warg and was only waiting for the right time to return to his body. Or he got stuck in Ghost's body.

c) I wanted ice dragons! You hear me? ICE DRAGONS!!

That scene where Tyrion sat awkwardly with Missandei and Grey Worm trying to make conversation - painful. Very. This is getting out of hand.

Anyway, GoT aside, been watching Arrow and The Flash. (When you camp in autumn and it gets dark before 6 pm, you better have back up plans for things to do in the dark. Not that, don't be dirty-minded.) Arrow was interesting until they started taking themselves too seriously, and then the only person who seemed to be having fun was Felicity, and it wasn't so interesting anymore. The Flash, on the other hand, probably was written while the scriptwriters were half-drunk and betting on the number of jokes and pop culture references they could cram into one episode. Geeky, yes, but at least most of the cast seemed to be having fun.

Right, we've got Penny Dreadful coming up too, more movies since summer (in the Northern Hemisphere) is almost here...what will we do with all that time and limited money?

flame throwing

d'you know what's sad? when you have to tell someone they're not up to standard. and you've given them chance after chance for more than a year. and when you ask if there's anything that can be done, should be done - they go and throw it back and say it's not their fault.

been watching too much gordon ramsay, and in that moment i really felt my blood pressure shoot up. actual vein throbbing feeling, you guys. but losing my temper was not really cool, so i just shut up after that. and sat there staring at that person in disbelief and watching myself think. like along the lines of -

is this person serious? apparently yes. definitely yes.

deluded? no idea. not my problem.

stubborn? bloody hell yes.

irresponsible? hard to say. not reliable at all times.

self-aware? no, not really. if unfriending us on facebook after bitching about us for a few months is a sign that the person lacks self-awareness, then yes, this person ticks the relevant boxes.

but then ask yourself - what did you think would happen? this person was led to believe that s/he understood what s/he was doing for more than 10 years in the same position. but not promoted - no - stuck in the same place. wasn't told. followed orders and expected orders. and no explanations given for what s/he was doing. just day in, day out doing the same thing.

maybe i was harsh. maybe i wasn't harsh enough in the past few months. i don't know. i've got a chip on my shoulder and my parents have warned me about it.

saddest part, really. when people just don't think. if they knew and didn't care, you could at least accuse them of wrongdoing and deliberate ill intentions. but not thinking? it's just sad. they couldn't even make the effort of thinking how their actions would affect other people.

d'you know those sayings that tell you you have to respect people older than you? yes you should. but only when it's been earned. respect shouldn't be given because someone told you you should. do it because they've earned yours.

my mum always said i have a problem forgiving people, and forgetting the things they've done to me. so much rage. she's right on that though, i don't really forgive. such high standards i have. much impress. but words are important to me, and when you say one thing and do another, that i cannot forget, much less forgive.

to quote pratchett -

sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness

hope i don't burn too many bridges along the way though.

things fall apart

do you know that feeling, when you really can't be bothered anymore, so when someone asks you to do something, you just tell them no cos you feel like it?

before you judge me, i usually try to say no in a direct way cos i'm scared of losing face like that. but then things have become taken for granted too often, and so be it. i don't feel like it.

yes i know you think i sound like a spoilt child, but at least i'm telling you i don't feel like instead of saying i'll do, don't do it, and then expect someone else to do it like two weeks later. like, seriously? you guys have no conscience about letting other people pick up your shit?

anyway, because i've been reading motivational buzzfeed-y stuff - maybe it's even FROM buzzfeed - about how to let go of stuff, i'm going to write about what makes me not happy these days.

i always have things to be unhappy about. according to SY - le husband now - it's my ground state. being not happy and angry with everything.

things that make me not happy, angry, and quite possibly both:

1. crap equipment to do mine daily job

like seriously? after 4 years and i finally tendered my resignation, now only we realise we could have asked whenever we wanted?

screw the budget!!! anyways our computers are around 8 years old. i beranak pun anak dah masuk darjah dua. sonofabitch policies.

2. people assuming shits

telling a few people unofficially doesn't mean telling the entire team. that sucks balls when the rest don't even know what they're supposed to be doing.

i mean i can act dumb and not do it, but i don't think it's right that you tell people one thing, and tell others another different thing.

3. irresponsible people

just because people always back your ass up doesn't mean we're happy backing your ass up. it's been a year.

but it's sad that you can't tell people to gtfo, because, you know, "manners".

not being a dick and expecting people to clean up your shit all the time is also "manners".

but then there are people who are just oblivious. and that point in time you throw up your hands in despair and yell, SERIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW ANNOYING YOU WERE?

And my keyboard just ran out of battery and I'm going to bed.

No I wasn't drunk typing this. Just disappointed.

If Tarantino had been born a girl -

Listen: Crystals - Of Monsters and Men

- he'd probably include much less blood in his movies. Cos it's not funny when you see it more than once a month. 

One more item to add into the list of Things I'm Grateful For. Your body functioning correctly and not giving you shit. Like imbalanced hormones. The legit kind, where you go for blood tests and the specialist looks at your results and says not to worry, but there's a higher probability of problems.

Also the US has legalized same-sex marriage yesterday and I wonder why people are angry. 

As Pratchett said - 

“The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.”

Monsters and men

Listen: The Handler - Muse | Hot Gates - Mumford & Sons

I was about to blog about how I have all three of Mumford & Sons' albums, but I don't consider myself one of their fans. Snob eh.

But then I found the first few singles Muse released for their new album, and whaddaya know, they're making music like their earlier albums! :DDD Time to acquire me some new songs. So far, not as good as Origin of Symmetry or the next album, but much much better than their previous. Didn't bother to get the previous album, it was so unimpressive after first streaming online I gave up. But were the lyrics always that cringe-worthy? Here go listen to Stockholm Syndrome for better times.

Anyway - realised that I've had this link bookmarked since 2011: 5 Questions You Need to Ask to Avoid Ruining Your Life, from Cracked. Before you start asking, 'Really? You've sunk so low you need to get life advice from Cracked?!' - I'll have you know I've had another low day. Because #4.

Before you get all wise guy or agony auntie about this - no, just stop. Once people start questioning your intentions and your competency, all bets are off. You mean you were not adult or professional enough to tell it to me, in private? With at least some point of reference for the criticism, thank you very much?

See, the problem with people is they want to earn maximum amount of $$ with the least amount of risk. Can still remember my Finance professor smiling toothily when most of the class answered his question like this, and he was all "You guys are not remembering what you're learning. Why are people irrational?"

Note to self: try not to laugh any time you're in the presence of people who get offended cos you're small fry and shouldn't question them.

Yes I do realise it's childish of me to write this, but I'm tired of acting grown up and saying I should forgive people ffs. Do allow me the luxury of ranting in my own blog. Kthx.

Reading Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, and I'm going to quote a few lines here, cos I always do -

The numbness will go away, he thought. It'll take time, but I'll do it, or Faber will do it for me. Someone somewhere will give me back the old face and the old hands the way they were. Even the smile, he thought, the old burnt-in smile, that's gone. I'm lost without it. - pg. 101

[Montag] 'Nobody listens any more. I can't talk to the walls because they're yelling at me. I can't talk to my wife; she listens to the walls. I just want to someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough, it'll make sense.' - pg. 107

And so Montag goes, stumbling from his job, to his job, around and around in a panicked dream. And his wife Millie insisting she's happy, but the first time we meet her, she overdosed herself deliberately. But I'm only halfway through, so wouldn't know how it ends. Hopefully not like 1984. Scary. But potong stim.

I feel like a kid sometimes afraid of ghosts and monsters in the dark. Kid fears get replaced by adult fears, but they're still fears, in the end. No basis, no reason or rationale. Probably ask a kid what would you do about your current fears, they'd ask you, "Why don't you just say what you're not happy about? Or what you're scared of?"

Because some things you can't, so you don't.

But why not?

Eleanor Rigby type of day

I've been humiliated so many times today that if someone were to tell me, tomorrow morning, that I could erase the past few years, I would say yes.

It's a terrible thing, to have someone tell you that you can't make your own decisions. Even worse, when through no fault of your own, you're blamed for things you can't control.

There is no meaning left in these things I'm pushed to do. So you go to work, every day, and you see all these things for you to look at and care about. You come back, you look at the things left to do. And when you're alone in the toilet, you just sit there thinking, What the fuck happened to me?

These terrible petty things people do to show power over you - deciding things for you without asking, blaming you for simple everyday things, telling you it's all your fault - it's not a sudden thing. It just happens, day after day after day, and though you try to stay positive and keep it in, there are times when you find yourself sitting in the toilet at 3 pm thinking, yet again,  What the actual fuck happened to me?

Lord, people can be so unfeeling. And the worst part is, it's not because they mean any harm, it's because, in a terrible way, They don't think about you. They just don't. How is it like, to do things - especially when it involves other people - and not to give a single fuck what they feel like?

And a lengthy quote from Pratchett to end this shitty day -

[Quote]

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.”

- Hogfather, Terry Pratchett 

[/Unquote]

Sunday someday

I had to blog about this, because it was so funny and sad and interesting that people can do this kind of thing.

I mean, how nice is it to wake up every morning thinking you're the best of the bestest shit in the world? That kind of confidence! I envy these people. Also I think I'd like to see them get hit, metaphorically and literally.

So me and the husband (we got registered on the 24th of March, you gaiz!) went into the 1U HP shop to survey laptops. Cos le husband is getting tired of lugging my nearly 3 kg laptop around, that's why. Transcribed conversation (of course not verbatim, my memory isn't that good) between le husband and the nerdy customer service guy below:

Husband (H): I'm looking for an ultrabook or light laptop. Can you recommend?

Nerdy guy (N): What kind of chip set are you looking for?

H: You mean processor?

N: No, chip set.

H: You mean CPU chip?

N: I can see you're not very friendly with computers.

H: What do you mean 'friendly'? I mean I use computers, yeah, but friendly?

N: I asked you what chip set you want -

H: You mean the processor right? The CPU chip?

N: Yes but it's usually called the chip set.

H: ...whatever (getting slightly pissed). So what kind of chip set do you have? I assume you guys mostly use Intel.

N: Yes -

H: Do you have Core M?

N: Er...I don't think there's such a thing. (Lies - HP has products using Core M.)

H: OK...never mind. What about the others? i3, i5...

N: What are you planning to use the laptop for? Home, office, gaming?

H: Office.

N: *shows laptop*

H: Can you recommend a lighter one?

N: This one. *shows a Pavilion laptop*

Me: (I had to, I wanted to walk out of the shop already) I had a Pavilion (I'm using it to type it right now, bless it, it's about 4 years with me already) and I find it's heavier than I would like. Can you recommend anything else?

(Also sonofabitch recommended a laptop that's around 2 kg...after we asked for ultrabooks and light laptops. And he could have recommended the Elitebook, which uses Core M and weighs around 1.2 kg. Thanks.)

N: Oh that's not heavy. If you want a lighter one, I can recommend this. *shows another laptop* Do you mind using Intel Celeron?

H: What? Celeron? Oh no...no don't think it will work.

And so me and le husband walked out of the shop. A bit stunned that someone: a) first felt he had to tell us we didn't know anything about computers, and b) didn't know the products he was selling and didn't care what the customer was asking for.

Anyway, it's late and there's no more time to write. Later I guess. Wanted to write about The Ghost Bride - it's written by a Malaysian!! - but yep, later. And also the Mad Max movie, which left me quite stunned, and I haven't felt like that about a movie for quite some time. But yeah, later.

Ah work, where dreams go to die.