Thing is actually better

The 1st day…

I’m still not sure what the feeling is but I’m pretty sure that we gotta make it work…
Similarly, my heartbeat was still jumping abnormal since this early in the morning… And, I am totally drawing a blank on how we’re going to face each other when we meet…I just don’t know what to do~~~blah blah blah!!! Because we used to be friend and just a night past, it's hard for us to change our action180 degree...
It's kinda awkward...
Be naturally is the best I guess… Naaaaah~~~

Sometimes, we just don’t jump to the conclusion too fast because you’ll never know what would happen mentally and break the chain that you always thought it should be in a very few seconds…

Sometimes, in the physical world, it might just look so "thing-should-be-like-this" always but, our mental is hard to control especially in LOVE stuff…Because the feel will always change until it find the right place to rest…
Yet, you’ll realized, the truth feeling will never lie~

Sometimes, thing will never goes well like what you've thought, but it maybe goes even better!!

If it is possible, just make it happen~

We'll never let the time pass with nothing!!

You make a change for me...

Heart Beating

Phew….my heart is still beating that fast…
I just couldn’t expect thing will be happened on this time…
He is always a good guy in my heart and I never expect the good guy is beside me…
I never expect the good guy actually appeared for few months ago…
A lot of thing, are never in my prediction.
And now, it’s happened…
I really thought we’re just friend at the beginning…

Who knows there have actually good thing exist, who knows the better thing maybe happened in the next second…

ARRRRHHHH I’m still in a very nervous status!!!!!!!

I know love from your eyes..

Dare not or Don't?

I thought I would be in a very good sleep this morning, but I suddenly become so conscious to think what's happening to me... Then, I can't fell asleep anymore.
I read his blog yesterday, I wonder how this would be... The differences between a pair of friend and lover... The dare not to love or don't love question, he wrote... I don't know who he was writing but the symptoms are so alike...
I am always surrounding in this circle, drawing a blank on don't love or dare not to love...

I read his blog again this morning, recall the things happen in these few weeks ago, it was great and simple... Isn't it? We don't make it complicated, we don't think too much... But, it doesn't seem like what we always done... The Feeling, I don't know how to describe, and so do you, we have no clue...

I always tell myself, I have a long long journey to go, I have various of people I need to know, I have plenty of dreams to accomplish... I plan for everything... My future, my studies, my money, my everything include I don't love... But still, I miss out something... I thought friends around me will always be that simple to hang out and having fun together... In fact, it doesn't seem like this...I miss out something, carelessly...

Yes, we've thinked too much...everything is just an imagination.... Everything is just for us to escape from being lonely, and to find someone to be our partner...
It is all about loneliness which has make us lost...

Like usual, I always tell myself, I don't love because I don't know what it is...

• When I know what love actually is, it never be that beautiful anymore...

• When I don't know what love actually is, it always looks like a mystery and you'll never know when you will fall for it...

• When I know what love actually is, it draws me like a stupid...

• When I don't know what love actually is, it simply because I never dare to step on it...

Some little thing happened yesterday, I thought the man is sincere to his gf, but he doesn't know the love's distriction... Eventhough it was not a fault, it might cause serious sadness...
It's no longer the first time anymore, I see the ugly truth agaaaiiiin!!!
Sometimes,
I wonder if a girl doesn't know the truth,
Is this call lucky?
or stupid?

"When I CLEARLY know what love actually is, it becomes a terror..."

If it is possible, let's make it happen

Stop the old one, and let the new one comes toward you~

Initially, everything go well in these few weeks. In spite of the exam period, my daily routines still have done as usual. Nevertheless, when sometimes I couldn’t focus on my revision, a lot of minds would suddenly pop up.

I’ve made my decision since my previous article to stop everything that I felt it is not suppose to be continued. And my decision was strong because at the same time, my mind has totally changed because I found out something that important for our entire life. My friend was right, I should stop this to let the new things come toward me.

Even though we’ve been gone through this, it doesn’t mean we gonna finish it. It is not necessary to be completed due to the pointless result that both of us know clearly.

When the other party doesn’t have the intention to stop it, I will stop it, because enough is never quit enough. It’s even worst if we don’t know “what’s enough”.

Well, things around me have been changed, I mean, I step in a different environment and start to view the different point. Everything which has been happened and over, it could make a change for us. "No matter the change is physically or mentally, I’m still holding my philosophies, tightly and gracefully."

When decision has made, I mean it.

Recently, I’ve received one video from my friend which I’ve uploaded on my Facebook as well. It is full of meaning with “everyone has their own love story which directed by themselves”. Story begins with how you treat people as whether in a good attitude or bad one. Story begins with how you handle your relationship and how you think love as.

And of course, I’ve truly considered what my character is in the love story. Then, I finally realized it had never been so serious since I started to live in the new environment last time. But now, it had past.

In fact, everything is just a lesson or a procedure for me to grow up and see through the real thing in the real world.

"I opened up my heart, see through the one who really live in, yet, a smile hang up on my face. I digest everything that stored in my mind, and read through the real me again, then I finally know, thing should be like this."

My first new ring might be a good start.

The Changing

During the exam period, I admitted that I didn’t really pay lot of efforts on it. It doesn’t seem like the same motivation that I had for the last semester. I don’t know why my motivation has gone and study for meaningless.
I would like to blog here to express myself tho’, express my boringness on reading “nothing special” subject, memorizing those “useless for your future” stuff.

Anyhow, the main purpose is to post my actual thinking for today…
Something happened today as usual, yet I realized that I’m sick on it aaagggaaaiiinn. My satisfaction has been declined and I can’t feel any passion on it anymore. I didn’t enjoy it at all as what I had done before. It was totally different feeling compare to last time that I did!!
"It seems lack of “something”, and the “thing” is actually didn’t exist since we started this."
At the beginning, I didn’t care about “it” because people always search for excitements. But now, I suddenly feel that “it” has become an essential on doing this.
Without “it”, the game is boring.
Without “it”, the game is meaningless.
Without “it”, the game is still a GAME.

Or should say something obvious, my playfulness has gone, I’m sick and bored on playing this, is it a time for me to find a stable life with a stable "him"? WOW~~ Sounds funny anyway~ LOL.

Anyhow, I don’t really think of it but the situation might look slightly alike, due to the incident that I dreamt for these several nights… The dreams were so real but in real life, it just too impossible. "The dreams' story weren’t same every time but the message to be delivered is obviously same. "
I guess, there would have some clues in the dream. It was a good dream honestly, but it just looks too unbelievable. I don’t know why, I just feel it is so impossible to be happened. Therefore,
I don’t give any expectation on it because I’ve locked my heart.
Stop entering in those relationship stuffs,
because I don’t know when I can learn how to love,
and
I don’t know when I can walk out the terror from being hurt.

I can only realize LOVE, if someday my love has been aroused.

Everything might have a change~