My second child

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. Today marks 30 days I gave birth to our second child. I am thankful for this blessing. For the chance to become a mother the second time. For the chance to love yet another soul so much so that it hurts.

Nothing could describe the feeling of the first moment looking at your newborn face. The relief inside my heart. To see that he is as perfect as can be. Complete fingers and toes. Loud wailing as he breath his first. People say it makes you forget the pain of giving birth. Oh no, not for me though. As joyful as I am to meet my baby, I will never forget that pain I just went through and also dreaded the next. The next? Yeah, the suturing part. Apparently, I lifted my butt during pushing causing first degree tear. Among the chanting of the nurse and doctor while you're trying to push the baby out is, "Take a breath! Pull back your legs! Don't lift your butt!!!". Well, I don't even remember lifting my butt and seriously, how is one suppose to remember not to during that moment?

It's really true though that no mother can ever describe the pain. You have to go through it yourself to knows what it feels like. Starting from contraction to labour pain. Only one thought swirled inside. "Please god, let it be quick". It's pure pain I tell you. Full stop.

Anyway, I'm so glad it's over. For now, I have a cute baby to drool over. We'll see if it takes one year or two years or maybe a few years before I decided for another baby. Kikuki.
 

Dear Arsyad Zuhair, I love you. I pray you will grow up to be a good person and a true muslim. Ameen.

of 2014...

Amina is 2 years and 3 months old. I'm in my 37+ weeks. We're excitedly expecting the newest family member, a caliph insyaAllah. I don't know why I'm writing this. I haven't been here in almost a year. Maybe I just want to document things. But then so many other things have been left undocumented these past years. Well, we can't promise everything will be perfect. I just hope I can work on this. What was I expecting? What will I gain from this? Maybe something for my children to read in the future. Maybe as another way for them to know their mother. Ah, why am I worrying so much. Let's just write when possible and enjoy my life in the process.

Serene life in Pulau Tuba, Langkawi

I was at Pulau Tuba since 16 April for a Prevention of Blindness programme. Pulau Tuba is quite a remote island which is right beside Pulau Dayang Bunting. Three hospitals were involved, Hosp Sultanah Bahiyah, Hosp Sultan Abdul Halim and Hosp Langkawi. We provided free eye health screening to the locals and we also visited all three schools on the island to screen the kids.

From one of the school I visited, only 8 child from 160 students have significant refractive error that needs to be corrected with glasses. That's really a small number when compared with the schools in the big city. It was expected I guess, as the children here are not that much exposed to tv or gadgets. After finishing homework, they spend their free time roaming and playing around the village, swimming in the sea, running along the beach or helping their parents who mostly are fisherman. Studies have shown that aside from anatomy factor, constant nearwork contribute to increasing error especially myopia.

Oh, how I envy the careless and laidback life they lead here. Nothing to rush to and not to mention living right in the lush of nature. The island is really beautiful especially the seaview. The last day there, we woke up really early and spend the morning watching the calm sea with the small islands beyond while the sun rise. However probably the increasing number of visitors plus lack of necessary action by the locals and authorities have caused the problem of garbage and littering especially around chalets area. That is something that should not happen in the first place considering not many human are living here and it's a small island where cleanliness should be easily maintained. If we were to sustain the beauty and nature of this island, it's crucial that someone take some action soon. Come on now, building mountains of plastic bottles and plastic bags right on the beach. Where is the common sense of the persons who did this.

Overall, Pulau Tuba is a very nice place to visit. A must for avid angler as you can easily caught fish even at the old jetty. The locals are friendly and the peaceful enviroment is so worth the effort of lugging heavy lugggage there. In our case, carrying bags and boxes of heavy screening stuff and sets.
















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My oh my, this train of mine is surely very rusty. But seriously it's unexplainable how having just one child can deprive you from almost everything you used to do before. I tried, believe me I tried. However I could never put past turning on the laptop and even more logging in to my account. There's just always something that I have to do while Amina is sleeping and before me myself zoned out. It also doesn't help that I have zero reception in the clinic. Hence I am such a good employee for the past 1 year since I'm here in Sungai Petani. No FB, no blogwalking, no online shopping, not even during lunchtime (which is the only time I'm free anyway). We work hard examining patients and we find extra work after there's no more patients in the evening just because we couldn't stand not doing anything in the cruel coldness of the clinic. I've been trying to work on some clinical research but that's out of the topic here.

 

So, where do I go from now? Should I delve into motherhood? Or talk about arts, crafts, crocheting or sewing which I really miss spending time on. You know, there are times when I thought I should just delete this space and go back to old times diary. But I still love that I could rant here while automatically uploading photos and no smears of liquid paper or eraser visible (oh admit it, we all like to edit, rewrite and make things look beautiful).

 

I guess I'll try to visit from time to time. Even as I'm writing this, Amina is already awake and excitedly pointing at the screen. Till then, ciao.

 

 

Back on the train

It's June and it's been too long and I feel like I shouldn't been blogging at all. Haha. Truthfully, during confinement period I have so much time but so little will to log in and blog. I would rather spend the time browsing oh so many cute and pretty clothes for babies online. I shop and shop and just about everyday the Pos Laju van would appear at my parent's doorstep. This obsession includes my sister too and I feel that the postman didn't need to read the address anymore. He'll just have a first look at our name and already knows to which house it is. Also I've been spending more time on Instagram which I should add is sooo addictive. Plus it's just way too easy to take photos and share them there.

Most of my time was also spent on staring at my cute bundle of joy endlessly. I could just spend the whole day looking at her and not doing anything. Nothing at all..hmm..hmm (humming Bruno Mars's) It's amazing how much affection and love you could feel for another human being. Sometimes I feel like my heart could burst with all this love I have for her.

Apart from that, so many new things are happening in my life at the moment. Both me and hubby got promoted which means we have to pack and move. Move to a new state, a new house and new hospital. All of which happens right after my confinement ended. And remember, there's a third person moving along with us. Overall it feels like a new begining. So imagine how hectic and chaos our life was at that time. Alhamdulillah, together we managed to pull it off.

I was utterly nervous the first time I left my baby at the nursery. I cried even wishing I wouldn't have to. Wishing that I could look after her myself. It was just unfair to have a complete stranger feeding her, changing her nappies and cuddling her to sleep. Maybe one day I'll have the option to quit and be a fulltime housewife. But still having an income at the same time. The keyword is maybe. So we'll see.

So what's new about my princess? I would say there's not a day that passed by without any new things I learn about her or from her. She reached 6 months old last week. She gurgles, she grabs, she laughs and she smiles. Oh, how sweetly she smiles. Melts my heart everytime.

So here I am, back on the train again. Hop on and thank you for reading my journey.

Hello. I am the princess she's talking about. My name is Amina Zahra, 6month and 1week old. Loves to grab ummi's face and squeeze it with all my might. I also love to bite everything that I could grab. My favourite is the tv remote control. Ummi will go beserk everytime I bite into things. She's really obsessive about protecting me from bacterias, viruses, insects, bugs, infections, so on and so on. More so after I had bilateral herniotomy, attack of fit, and later developed fever and thrush. *Sigh* She will tell you the detailed story later I guess.

Ok Amina, time to pen off. Say 'see ya!' :)

On our princess

Born 19 December 2011 at 11.22pm

The day she was born 

The day we brought her home 

The day I caught her smiling in her sleep

More stories on her later eh. Right now I have a sweet baby to cuddle and tend to :)

On another hobo bag and sewing

Over the course of my pregnancy, I have been working on a few crochet projects but seriously on a slow basis. Ngee. One that got me excited the most is the hobo bag requested by my fellow friend from high school. She really likes bright and lively colours thus she wants the bag to be in multicolours instead of mono. So, this is the first time I'm crocheting it in 3 different colours and this is how it turns out to be. The colours are picked based on another favourite crochet bag that she owns.

Maybe she is a fan of Bob Marley. Hee. At first, I wasn't very sure of the bright combo. But after it's done, complete with lining in the bag and on the handle plus a zippered pocket, the bag is really super nice. I love it!  

This is the first time I made a pocket in a bag. Not just a pocket, but a zippered one. So, it's a learning experience too. Hence also explains the time I took to complete this bag. I want to make sure nothing goes wrong. Actually she requested the bag to have lining and never mentioned a pocket. But I decided to add it as a nice touch at no extra charge. She'll find it really useful anyway. I used a sturdy yet soft fabric for the lining. Can't remember the type. I'm bad at recognizing the types of fabric. But this fabric will help to retain the shape of the bag and it's handle for a long time.  

  

I specially bought this zipper online because I like the zipper head. It looks nicer than the normal head, right? 

Oh yeah, I bought my own sewing machine 4 months ago. That's why I'm so excited to sew everything! It feels great sewing with a new super smooth machine. I already have a long list of sewing projects printed and stashed in my file. Not to mention the many fabrics I've bought. Ngee.   

:: I followed this tutorial for the zippered pocket --> http://u-handbag.typepad.com/uhandblog/2007/02/zippered_inner_.html

Really easy and clear step by step :)