A Little Set Back

Ok, so, I have had a problem. Two Saturdays ago when I was doing my long run, which was supposed to be 11 miles, I was about 7 miles in and my foot started to hurt, but I kept truckin. Then about 9 miles in it started hurting really bad. So I had to walk the last 2 miles. Then with about a half mile left I had to take my shoes off and walk barefoot.







Turns out I have a stress fracture of the 5th Metartarsol.

If you dont know what that is, its the small bone in my foot. All that weight on my poor little foot was too much. I have a weird shaped body. Basically its like a pear on toothpicks. I have normal sized legs but a monsterous upper region if you will. Like I always tell the wife, "Im top heavy"

If your not a large man you wouldnt understand. Your just gonna have to trust me on this. I drew this picture to provide some visual proof.


Anyway, I was told to ride my bike for 3 weeks and take a break from running. I am supposed to ride for as long as I would run to keep my heart and lungs in shape and then I should be able to pick back up running. Wish me luck.

10 miles and 17 pounds

Before I update my running I just want to give a shout out to this damn fine country of ours. God bless it. Seriously, big props to all the soldiers both past and present who have fought for my freedom. This country is what it is because of you and your sacrafice doesnt go unnoticed. You do what Im too much of a wuss to do. Yall have some huge stones.



Ok, so running update. Today was my first double digit run. a 10 miler! Ive been dreading it all week for a couple reasons, 1st, 10 miles is well, a long way. And 2nd, we went camping this week and missed out on a few of my weekly runs. Not only that but I didnt eat so well on said camping trip. And by not eating so well I mean I downed about 13 mini powdered donuts in about the same time it took for Max Hall to forget that his team doesnt wear red thus throwing mutliple interceptions to a variety of Utes, roughly 1 minute and 45 seconds.

Dont judge me.

Those powdered donuts are covered with crack not sugar. In fact Im confident that when I walk through the pearly gates when my time has passed that there will be a large mountain of powedered donuts awaiting us all in which we can all frolic on. This isnt backed by any scripture per say, just the gospel according to me.


Anyway, like I said I ate poor. On top of that I has some serious problems with my gastro intestinal area. And if your not picking up what Im laying down I had bad diarrhea. If youve had diarrhea when camping you know that you dont have a lot of options. Its either the forest or those stupid out houses. In fact it has inspired me to write a book. An auto biography of myself. Its gonna be called "My Life in an Outhouse, and other sundry anectdotes" You can prolly get a good idea of what its gonna be about. There will be other inspiring life stories but the main crux of the book is going to detail about a guy who has diarrhea issues and the steps he's taken to overcome that and lead a fairly normal lifestyle. Its gonna be awesome.


Can you imagine the ladies at the book club meeting? "Well Im not sure but its looking as if he has irritable bowel syndrome. But again, I will reserve jusdgement until I read further. One thing is for sure, I cant wait to delve into it deeper"

Anyway, so today was actually one of my best runs. So all that trepidation was for naught. I felt like I could have kept running and running. Granted it was a slow pace, about 4-5 minutes a mile slower than my brother in law. But I don’t think I need to rehash the difference in our girth. All I know is I just ran 10 miles baby and now have lost a total of 17 pounds. The lbs should start rolling off more freely in the coming weeks as my mileage increases.


Side note, I buzzed my head. Why? Im not sure. I used to get buzzes all the time when I was 11 yrs old and I thought Id take it back to the old school. My wife doesn’t like it. But I told her its because I don’t want my hair to slow me down during my race. I should finish a lot faster now that I don’t have the excess hair.

Trick please

9 miles baby and 15 pounds

Its gettin krunk now. And for those of you that dont speak gangsta like myself, that means "golly, this is becoming quite a proposition. And by that I mean the level of difficulty is increasing"


Fo real'

So yeah, I totally ran 9 miles. Which I cant believe. 9 miles is a lot longer than I thought. Especially as I was lumbering along during the last 2 miles and my legs kept cramping up and my shoes felt like I had taped a bunch of pennies to the bottom of my arch.

Anyway, good news is I didnt die. So now I am up to 10 miles next week.

Ill keep you posted.

7 miles and 13 pounds

So, this'll be short. I ran a 7 miler on saturday. Pretty crazy right? And I have lost 13 pounds since I started this thing. So its going good. More in depth update this coming up Saturday after I run 9 MILES. Thats right, 9 miles.

Guess who's back?

[sing to the tune if Eminems song "without me"]

Guess whos back?..........Back again.... Jakedogs back....tell a friend....guess whos back, guess whos back, guess whos back, guess whos back.... guess whos back, guess whos back, guess whos back....da na na na.....boom boom boom....boom boom boom..... da na na.

Thats right, its on this time. Im as serious as an apple pie and we all know how serious apple pies are. Find me a cold blooded american who doesnt enjoy a nice warm slice of apple pie and a scoop of ice cream and ill call that man a terrorist.That's how serious I am.If you've heard me say "im serious" before than consider yourself one of the lucky ones. I only say that when I mean it. Im not sure what Ive said more? "im serious about losing weight" or "I hate BYU".... either way they are both extremely true. Think about it. Im fat AND byu sucks. Truer words have never been spoken.

I digress. Anyway, quick synopsis. I started this blog last year. Its been working out great. And by working out great I mean I have sucked. In fact someone came up to me a few weeks back and said "why you breathin so hard?" To which I replied "What kind of stupid question is that? Im trying to live" It was a ball of fun.

BUT......

My brother in law, skinny and healthy as he is, has roped me into running the St George Marathon with him. See I have applied for said marathon twice in the past but never got in. Well this time Im in and its on baby. I wanted to wait to update this blog for a few weeks so I could actually post some results and updates. We have been training for 3 weeks and last Saturday I ran 6 miles up by the Bountiful temple. And in these three weeks I have lost 11 pounds! So thats fun huh? I will update this bad boy every Saturday after my long runs with my progress. Check this blog is you like, but if not I wont be crushed. Im doing more for myself so I can have a journal of my training and weight loss. So 3 years from now I can show Lydia that daddy used to be a stunt double for the stay puffed marshmallow man.


Also to show that no matter how fat you are and how many times you fail at something that if you keep trying and never give up that you can accomplish anything. Wish me luck as I try yet again to turn this keg into a six pack.

10k @ 10k

Me getting psyched to run this 10k race.

Well, I just finished running a 10K! It was the Skyline 10k @ 10k in Sanpete County. My official time was 1 hour 19 minutes and 42 seconds. I know what you’re thinking. How could I run that race so blazing fast? I was thinking the same thing. I was motoring along like a big old bowling ball. I’m sure I looked like the Titanic maneuvering down the panama canal. And also, are you ready for this? I finished DFL….Dead Freaking Last!!! That’s right as in as soon as my fat butt crossed the finish line the race was over. As in as soon as I moseyed across that line they closed up shop. Every time I looked back I saw NOBODY…zero, zilch, nada. I was/am the caboose of this train baby. I finished 84th out of 84 runners. Pretty frickin sweet. I attribute my top 84 finish to a couple of factors. 1st and foremost I had 4 months to get ready for this race. That’s when my wife and I registered for this race. So I had 4 months to train and I started on Monday. Not Monday 4 months ago, Monday of the same week. So that was pretty smart on my part. 2nd reason, I lacked the intelligence to check out the course beforehand so I would know what was coming. See the title of this silly race didn’t give it away, 10k @ 10k……which means this race was run at 10,000 feet above sea level, which also means I was gasping for air as soon as the gun went off. Also, to throw even more of a wrench into this thing, the first 2 miles of this party was running straight uphill(which I’ve never done) until we reach the summit of 10,000 feet. It sounded as if I was having an asthma attack 2 minutes into the race. So much so that the race medic pulled up next to me and asked if I was ok? “Well other than the fact that Im a large rotund individual trying to keep up with these slightly more athletic and fits kids, I’m doing great!” What I should have said was “gimme 10 minutes and Ill give you 3-1 odds that Im dead” Anyway, I pulled through and finished the race in under 80 minutes. So overall I am happy that I completed it being as unprepared as I was. Erin has convinced me to do another 10k in September, although this one will be at a much lower elevation and not have the hill of death at the start. Plus I plan to actually have a training plan for this one that doesn’t include my daily dose of 3 Dr Peppers and greasy Chinese food.



PS Here is the link for the race results if you don’t believe that I finished dead last. I understand why you would think Id make that up, but just in case here you go.

http://www.skyline10k.com/2008times.TXT


Scroll ALL the way down until you see my name.

Here is my sexy wife and I....see how high up we are?

Only 3 more pounds till my first picture update.

I know it has taken ridiculously long, but I pledge by next week I will be at my first "picture weight." If you dont remember, I plan on taking a picture every 10 pounds with that little Utah Utes shirt that I cant fit into. My starting weight was 272 and I weighed in this morning at 263. So when I lose 3 pounds this week we'll take my first update pic. I know it was only 2 pounds this week but thats better than a sharp stick in the eye right? So, I know this post is short but Im in a hurry and I promised to update every week.

Only 7 weeks until kickoff when my Utah Utes destroy those pansy Michigan Wolverines in the "big house"!!!!!! And Ill be there sucka!!!!!!

Current Ridiculous Weight=263

Weight Lost This Week=2 pounds

Total Lost=9 pounds

# of Pounds till goal=73

"Good afternoon, I am Jake Johnsen and I have a problem"...."Helllllooo Jake!"

Okay, well......Hi. It's been a while. I am currently contemplating the excuses I can use here. But then again, that has been the problem, I am always using excuses. I wanted to sayI have been in Kansas City for 2 weeks on my "KC BBQ tour 2008" and then in Florida for work and couple that with the fact that I was sick for a week and a half mixed in there. Those were the excuses I was going to use, but alas, I see my HUGE brother Josh losing 36 pounds over pretty much the same time frame as what I have been doing and I realize that doesn't cut it. I am letting my wife down here as I promised her I would do this(lose weight). So, Id like to apologize to all of my fans around the world and recommit to losing weight. I will update every week from here on no matter if I lose weight or not. I will. I will finally get this ridiculous obsticle out of my life for good so I can wear all my pimpin clothes. I will. I will do this because I am tired of worrying about my damn health every time I go to see my kidney doc. I will. I will not let food that I love(such as places pictured below) deter me anymore. Sorry baby, I will do it.

My new fav BBQ joint in SLC...Pats BBQ....Its the best!

Current Ridiculous Weight=265

Starting Weight=272

7 lbs over 3 months? WEAK!!!!!

Update

Ok, so people have been getting on me for not updating every week like I said I would. And I agree, that is weak. So only one more 2 week gap then it'll be back to every week. The reason I have one more gap is because I will be out of town next week visiting the old in laws in Kansas City so I will not be able to update.





On to my update. 2 more pounds over these last two weeks equals 9 total pounds lost. So I got to thinking and realized that is LESS than one pound per week, granted 9 pounds is better than a sharp stick in the eye but still....Pretty piss poor. It needs to get better. I started training for the Park City half marathon this last week. The race is August 23rd. This was my first official week, so I am hoping as I increase my running from 3 miles to 4, 5, 6, 7 8, 9 and 10 over the next few weeks that the poundage will follow along with it. It will be nice when I can wear my old pimpin clothes again. People always tell me I look like Brad Pitt when I am skinny. I dont see it. I say I am more of a Denzel Washington/Paul Walker mix...but whatever....Everyone has their own opinion. If you all think I look like Brad Pitt than who am I to argue.



Anyway kids, this it for two weeks, but I promise its gonna get real krunk up in here over the summer months.

Current ridiculous weight=263
Lost this week=2 pounds
Total lost=9 pounds

PS That picture up there really is Brad Pitt and not me....in case you were confused.

Baby steps

Aight, so here it is. 2 pounds this week(well actually, it has been 2 weeks) And while 2 pounds sounds like it sucks, and it does, I was not able to excerise these last 2 weeks at all. So just eating well, I lost 2 pounds I was, um.... doing other things. BUT, next week I begin my training for my half marathon, so the workin' out is about to step it up. Its about to get real serious up in here. I was on vaca for a week and that screwed up everything. Next week, there will be 4 pounds lost, and that is a promise. So, anyway...........see you then.

Current Ridiculous weight=265
Weight Lost=2 lbs
Total weight lost=7 lbs

PS Over there on the right I have added a super neat new feature. It is my favorite places to eat. I also added my fav office quotes. My wife says that this is beoming more of a real blog than just a weight loss blog. She says that Im turning into a blogging nerd. But like I tell her, takes one to know one.

I have some splainin to do....

Ok, so it has been 2 weeks since I last posted an update. And that is actually for good reason. I was out of town in San Diego last week for a little family vaca. And if you know me, when I vacate I like to usually plan a lot of my activities around food. I love eating out(shocker I know) and I like eating at places that I cannot normally eat at. Well, with that in mind I tried to excercise a lot because I knew that there would be some serious eatin' goin on. Well, even with that I have gained back 3 of the 8 pounds that I lost. Sad huh? Not to say that I was really planning on gaining some of the weight back while I was out of town, but I was kind of planning on it. See, I know my weaknesses. As my boy Socrates said "know thyself". It was all that frickin' Inn-N-Out Burger that did me in. If you haven't eaten at Inn-N-Out Burger, imagine the most incredibly fresh, delish meat that literally melts in your mouth as you bite into it. The freshness of said Burger cannot be explained merely through words. So, with that in mind, gaze upon the "Double Double" from Inn-N-Out;




As you can tell, the Inn-N-Out Double Double Burger is Gods way of kissing us in the mouth. And as you probably can surmise, I enjoyed each meal with a delcious Dr Pepper. Anyway, now that is out there in the open, it is time to refocus and get back on track. 8 days out of town and 3 pounds added is a joke. So, anyway, next week we should be back in the black.

Current Ridiculous Weight=267
Last Weeks Change= + 3
Total Lost Thus Far= 5

2 more pounds = 8 total

I am not going to say much today. I dont have much time. But suffice it to say 8 pounds is almost 10% of the way to my goal. So I have tithing'd off 8 pounds. My fast offering if you will. The hardest thing for me to give up has been my beloved Dr Pepper. I used to pump through that stuff faster than a BYU coed on free ice cream day at Hogi Yogi. I only allow myself one a week now, and thats only if I hit my goal of lbs lost that week. Once I get to 260(still horribly ridiculous) I will take my first progress pic. Anyway, see ya next week.

Dr Pepper=Crazy Delicious

Current ridiculous weight-264

Total lost thus far-8

Pounds to go till goal-74

# of times BYU has been to Final 4=ZERO

# of times Utah has been to Final 4=FOUR

2 more pounds and a 5k!

Ok, first of all, 2 pounds this week makes 6 total! So far so good. Part of my weight loss journey consisted of my wife and I running the SLC 5K. Here is a picture of me before the race;

It was my first race and the building block to eventually a marathon. So, my wife kicked my trash. Im not going to tell you what my time was, but lets just say she beat me by 10 minutes. It took her all of about 25 yards to pull ahead of me. She likes to rub that in, but as I tell her “you try putting on a back pack and fill it with two 40 pound bags of flour and run with that! That’s what its like for this hefty” Not only did she beat me, but I also got beat by Spiderman! Not the real Spiderman that would actually be an honor, but some nerdy dude dressed up in a full on Spiderman costume. Pretty pathetic that I let that guy take me down. Anyway, since I didn’t win I thought Id pick out someone and make sure I beat them. So, there he was, some little freaking 6 year old kid who kept passing me then Id pass him then he’d pass me back. It was rather annoying for several reasons, most of them being that he is 6 and Im 28. Anyway, as we turned the final corner into the Gateway his mom yelled “Come on Gabriel, lets go” then he bolted off and I was like “oh no you don’t” so I took off sprinting too and raced all the way to finish line in front of my little friend…..Scoreboard Gabriel! Boo yeah!!!! Now he’s got to tell all his little 1st grade friends about some fat 28 year old who owned him in the race.

At the finish line

Starting weight=272

Current ridiculous weight=266

Weight lost this week=2

Total lost-6

First Weigh In

4 pounds lost!




Ok, so it was a week and a half and 4 pounds is not a TON but its a start, I guess. I apologize about the awesome graph up there, but I am new at this and can't figure out how to put the graph in on its own, so I had to take a pic of my computer screen(ghetto I know-but now that I think about it my wife grew up in the ghetto, so its more for her anyway) 4 pounds down, but in the words of Rick Majerus, me losing 4 pounds is like throwing a deck chair off of the Titanic. I still have a LOONG way to go. The first week of eating better wasn't as hard as I thought(thats what she said) but then again it was only the first week. Check back in 4 months and see if I'm as gung ho. We all know how the fat Johnsen brothers start these weight loss plans and give up a week or two in. All I know is I have 14 shirts that still have the tags on them because when I bought them they were too small and I was going to "shrink into them" and its time I start doing that.

Current ridiculous weight=268

Weight lost=4 pounds

Pounds remaining=78

Here I go....

Jake Johnsen Today

Jake Johnsen 5 Years Ago

9 and 1/2 years ago I had a kidney transplant. My brother donated his kidney to me. 5 1/2 years ago I married my beautiful wife, Erin. 18 months ago my gorgeous daughter Lydia was born. That is why I am doing this. I went to my Nephrologist(kidney doc) a few weeks ago and he told me that because of my excessive weight my kidney would not last longer than six months to a year. Since I have been married I have slowly added pound after pound. I am an unhealthy, overweight big fella and that ends today. I decided that I will chronicle my weight loss for everyone to see. My hope is that by doing this I can come here for motivation. If I am slacking or being lazy I hope that this will push me to hold myself accountable. On top of that maybe it will motivate some of my chubby brothers to do the same. Every week I will post my weight loss success and failures. Every 10 pounds I lose I will post a picture wearing that same Utah Utes t shirt above. I have owned that shirt for 3 years and never been able to wear it. I plan to wear that same shirt to the Utah vs Michigan football game this fall. And by next summer I hope to be back to my marriage weight of 190 lbs. That is 82 freaking pounds!!!! So each week, look for updates on my progress, starting with my first update a week from this Saturday. Wish me luck!!!

Current ridiculous weight=272 lbs

Total weight lost=0 lbs