Seriously, I need someone to talk to right now ...

I'm now at a crossroad again, I don't know which way to go.

I'm given a chance to do a U-turn or continue where I am.

I need someone to show me the right way.

I don't know whether to follow my heart or to follow my head.

This is just too much. Either way, I'm at the losing end.

I just want to be happy and content with my life, but I'm not.

It's just me ...

Was sitting on the bus on the way to Uni. Had my iPod turned on to my favourite song, somehow my mind was somewhere else and not into the song.

I was wishing I could have fun, I wish I can go out of my comfort zone and be someone else for one day.

Put on make-up, go out with friends, go clubbing and just not be the boring ol' me. I've never did all those things, it's like a forbidden place to me. Being the eldest child and sister, makes me feel that I need to always stay out of trouble.

When my lil' sis' was 14 or 15 years old, she got an 18 year old boyfriend who is a DJ (in some club I assume). She went clubbing, and she learn how to smoke, but of course she was grounded after mum found out about it, and had to stop everything. Well, she's doing good, she's an angel now, Haha!

She sure live her life to the extreme huh? What did I do?

Well ...

Nothing

I would love to do such thing one day. Just go out with my friends everyday, and just lose myself.

If I die tomorrow, I think the thing I'd most regret about is that I never really lived my life. I don't know what fun is, seriously. I'm not a geek that read book all day, and yet I'm not a social butterfly. I don't know what I am =.=

Roses

Honestly, every time my exam or assignment is over, the mood to update my blog is gone too =.=

I went to karaoke with B's cousin and her work colleague. Yep, I know its weird to be going out with a bunch of people older than me, but trust me, they're young at heart, Haha!

I had a great time.

I took a few photos while I was outside hanging clothes the other day. I was there busy hanging clothes when I smell something really nice. And it's not food la! It's a really soft scent. Then I turned around and realize, IT'S THE ROSES! Haahahhaa!



I was going to type more, but I need to get back to Gossip Girl :P

I'll be back in a bit ... I hope

xoxo

new template

I've change the template again, but I'm having headache at the moment.

I'll edit the template a lil, tomorrow.

Till then

xoxo

random rambling

All this law stuff, drives me crazy.

It just made me depressed all over again. I just feel so unhappy bout myself, the people around me and basically the whole shitty world.

Yep, here comes me again, complaining bout everything else. Just do me a favour and stop reading if you don't like to see me complain.

I just turned on the air-con, to cool myself off. I know I'm not suppose to, coz when it's time to pay the bill, I think I'll be in trouble (not that I'm paying it), but I can't torture myself anymore. It's crazy hot in my room and I NEED THE AIR-CON to keep me sane. I'm home alone, so I can get away with doing anything that I want, without getting caught.



I have no idea why I should be studying this stupid business law subject, I mean what's the point? If I know the law, then there'll be no lawyers anymore right? They'd be out of business. I mean, give people a choice of what they want to study, I'm not here to study some law or shitty marketing, or communication in business (CIB for short, but I usually refer to it as CIB*I) sorry for being rude, but its really CIB*I, I find no point in studying some sort of communication subject, you DON'T go and examine people on how you communicate with other human beings. It feels like "Okay students! Write me a 1000 words essay on how you shower" ?? Get the drift?

Communication is part of everyday life, just that some caucasion are being ignorant about it and have to study about "intercultural communication". I mean "HELLO!" I did that my whole life. I have friends of different races. I don't need to be examined on it, I already ACED it in real life situation.

Grass is always greener on the other side, or like what the chinese said "外國的月亮比較圓" if you literally translate it, it would mean, oversea's moon is rounder (I have no idea if there's such word, I mean the "rounder")

Now I know what it meant. I've always wanted to go places like U.S.A, or U.K, or Australia, well, now I'm here, and I'm not lovin' it. So, I've seen how "ang moh" live. Been there, done that, so can I go back home?

The only reason I'm not leaving here is because I don't want to do my degree in KL. I've live there for about 2 or 3 years and I don't like it at all. I think you'd be thinking in your mind that "Boy, nothing satisfy this girl" well, true, I'm hard to please.

If I'm leaving, I just wanna be back home in Penang, as in doing degree in my hometown.

I've been complaining a lot lately, this is just who I am. When I get frustrated, I complain, but half the time, I don't even mean what I complained. It's just a temporary feelings. Once the frustration about exam is gone, I'd be thankful again. I don't even know if the sentence I just wrote make sense ... or not

Anyways, I gotta get back to my business law subject and just do my thang. I know I didn't try hard enough, coz I hate this subject, but I am trying, coz I don't want to end up being pregnant at 22 years old, uni dropout, randomly getting married, and live the rest of my life being poor =.= just ignore this paragraph

What I'm trying to say here is, I want to get this degree, secure a good job, save enough money to get my own car and house, and just be happy. I don't want to give up studying (even though I think it's hard and there are times I feel like giving up) but I'd do anything to NOT end up being a poor pathetic soul who couldn't even afford a PDI clothing =.=

Well, ignore this whole post. I'm just rambling bout stuffsssss.

On a lighter note, I can't wait to be back in Penang, hang out with my girl friends, not girlfriend, but girl AND friends, which means they are girl, and they are my friends, okay, nevermind.

I will definitely go REDBOX and sing my heart out, then to the new Hard Rock Hotel? Or is it Hard Rock Cafe Hotel?? ... Anyways, I want to go to the hotel's beach and hang out. Then of course, how can I leave my baby gurney alone, not to forget baby queenssie (QB) Haha! I'd go batu feringghi for my LV ... it's bargain timeeeee Haha! Hopefully they still sell those stuff there.

I miss Ramlee burger too!! I miss my life. I miss me.


xoxo

mini Rubik's cube temptation

OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! I suddenly crave for a rubik's cube

-.- I know crave is not the word you'd use on a rubik's cube, but whatever! I WANT ONE!!!

Okay, this craving SHOULD BE temporary, I hope =S

Miss, miss, miss, QB and GP

It's funny how I'm always in the mood to update my blog when I'm suppose to be busy studying =.=

I just miss Penang so much. To be exact, Queensbay Mall, and Gurney Plaza, Haha!

I'm going to be hanging out in these two shopping mall till I vomit, or maybe broke =P

Anyways, gotta start studying for tomorrow's subject. Wish me luck =)

Wish List

I've seen every other blogger had this wish list on their blog, just because they're doing advertorial on DELL's new laptop. Anyways, I'm just doing my OWN wishlist, don't worry, there's no DELL laptop in my wish list ... Hmm .. maybe there is, I don't know

Read on ...

1) Louis Vuitton Speedy 35 bag

Just because I like to put anything and everything in my bag, Haha! But then again, I don't mind getting a china brand LV, HAHAHA! Well, I'll have to wait until I get to visit Batu Feringghi again


2) SONY ERICSSON W995

Love this phone, hopefully my dad would buy for me.


3) Smokey Eyes make-up kit (by benefit)

I know I may not come across as a girl who loves to have cosmetic on her face, but I recently develop a liking on cosmetic, and I'd love to have a smokey eyes make-up kit =P

4) Apple Macbook 13-inch white

Although I would LOVE to own a MacBook one day, but the truth is, its just good for internet, typing stuff, maybe photoshop, but not really for developing a project or system :(

5) M.A.C. cosmetic brush set

Haha! I don't know why, don't ask me, why its in my lists *blek*

6) NYX Jumbo Eyeshadow Pencil

OMG!!! I don't know if I can find this in Australia! I'm going to look for this jumbo eyeshadow pencil once I'm done with my exam, Haha!


7) To watch "Time Traveler's Wife"

I haven't watch a romantic movie, or go on a romantic date in a long time. I'd love to BE ON a romantic date and watch a romantic movie more than owning all those gifts that I've listed out.

2.1 Anniversary

It's me and B's 2.1 Anniversary today :)

Which means we're together for exactly 2 years and 1 month


Thanks for the effort to make it up to me, for all the times you thought you upset me.

Love,
M

Love Language

Test Results:

Percent	Language	Score
13%	Words of Affirmation	4
23%	Quality Time
7
10%	Receiving Gifts	3
17%	Acts of Service	5
37%	Physical Touch	11

How to Interpret Your Profile Score

Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bi-lingual(you have two Primary love languages). If the scores of your primary language and your secondary language are close(for example, 10 and 9 respectively), it indicates both are important to you. The highest possible score for any one love language is 12.

Having a clear picture of your primary and secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior. Think back over the past and ask yourself, "What have I most often requested of my spouse?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary and secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love. Your requests, however, might have come across as nagging or criticizing and thus drove your spouse away.

Sorry the thing is a lil messed up, I copy and paste from the website ;)

anyways, its a "Love language" test. Try it :) I find it quite interesting and true *clickety click*

LEVI's, anyone?

Hmm ... I wonder if I should get a LEVI's here before I head home ...
I found this cool pair of jeans in the LEVI's online catalog. I'm itching to go shopping now, like seriously, but I can't coz my exam ain't over yet, and I haven't been to Sydney or Melbourne. If splurge too much over here, I might have to cut back on spending when I'm on holiday.

PLUS, I'm going back to Penang to get myself branded stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CALVIN KLEIN BAGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!

-.- I always thought that Calvin Klein stuff is a rip off ... but then again, you only live once HAHAHAHAHA!

I'm into fashion and make-up lately (I'm not saying I dress like some fashion diva or wear make-up every day, I don't) I'm just saying that I'm starting to like clothes and make-up

I know ... I'm a late bloomer -.-

Anyways, I'm gonna check out that LEVI's jeans soon!!!

I need a new handbag ... a new purse ... preferebly not black .... a new mobile phone ... new clothesss ... NEW JEANS ... preferebly LEVI'S (I know I'm a typical Malaysian girl who just loves her LEVI's) There isn't ONE DAY that I'd go out without my LEVI's ... seriously

*Sigh* So much to buy, so little time (or money) Hahaha!

Give face??

I was never really a good person to begin with.

my fault?

first off, I'd give "the look" if I hate the person. I don't "give face". I'm that mean.

secondly, my "I-don't-give a damn" attitude when someone pissed me off.

thirdly, the world revolves around me.

I think I'm more guilty of the third one, rather than the rest of it ... even my parents told me off for that attitude.

I have mellow down ... a little ... just a little

I was picking up strandsssssssss of hair on my carpet (my hair -.- I know its gross, but the hair that I picked up can practically make a fake wig -____-) anyways ... while I was doing that I was thinking

"Is it a crime to tell people off, that they're annoying the hell out of you?"

Well, the person might think I'm being a b*tch by being mean.

I'm not. I'm just speaking my mind.

I haven't do any of those thing yet (la!)

... still suffering ... occasionally

but most people, particularly B, and my best friends would tell me or love to have me stay out of trouble.

for now, I "give face".

-end of story-

pre-menstrual/pre-exam/pre/post/stress

.I wanna feel.

::colourful::

.I wanna feel.

.fun.

::I wanna feel::

.funny.

.end of cheering myself up post.

*SMILE*

P/S: All pics from www.deviantart.com ;) Love that website

miss dad's cooking

I really hate it when it comes to breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I hate it when I feel hungry.

... coz I don't know what to eat ... the worse thing is, I don't know how to cook -.-

I miss Penang ... where I can just drive out to some hawker center and order Hokkien Mee, or go to Mamak and have nasi kandar :(

and I always have my dad, who is a REAL good cook, to cook for me and my lil sis on weekends. I miss his cooking :(

I cooked myself porridge for dinner just now ... I was wishing that my dad is here to cook for me "dao eu bak" to go with my porridge ... its mince meat cooked with black soy sauce and my dad would make it spicy coz I loveeeee spicy food :)

I can't wait to go back this January, coz that's the time he would be asking me and my lil sis on what he should cook for Chinese New Year :)