50 Shades of Awkwardness . . . watching soft porn . . . at the movies . . . with friends . . . eating popcorn?!

So, the time has come to weigh in on the 50 shades of grey debate. Why? Well, because I want to. And Meh! Why not?!

If you have watched or read ANYTHING in the last few months you might have come across some pretty strong opinions surrounding the highly popular book series (and now movie) 50 Shades of Grey.

And as a small disclaimer here - I have friends on Facebook who range from 'NO WAY, I will NEVER read those books. Not EVER. NEVER' all the way to 'Just pre booked my girls night out tickets, including wine and nibbles, to see what is probably the event of the year. Now i'm lining up for 3 hours to ensure front row seats' 

Both of these and anywhere in between are their personal choice and opinions, so please play nice if you happen to comment on this post. It's all just opinion and you can still be friends.

So, now to the books. You may be wondering if I have read the books?  Of course I have! - I would NEVER offer an opinion on something that I hadn't even read. But let me explain something here . . .

I first read the books not long after they came out -before all the hype. And to be honest, I barely noticed the BDSM components of the books. All my life I have been EXTREMELY interested in human behaviour. I am interested in what makes people tick, in what has contributed to the way a person behaves and the choices they make. This is one of the reasons I considered becoming a psychologist. However, I LOVE sociology and with an innate sense of social justice Social Work was just a better fit for me. At least I got to study Psychology along the way. So for me, the draw of the book was the story of Christian Grey. I read along, eagerly awaiting his background - What had happened to him as a child? What were the defining characteristics of the boy who then became a man? Was his early life directly linked to his suppressed emotions? Was there a way to eventually push through these emotional barriers to heal and rise above his difficult early life?

Well, you get the picture. My curiosity was peaked and I wanted to find out more.

I didn't like Anastasia. At All. In the same way that I didn't like Bella in Twilight (well, until the final book when she became a vampire and a kick-ass chick!). You see, the sookiness and the dependency of these female characters annoyed me . . . probably more than it should. And I have been thinking about this a lot since contemplating writing an opinion on 50 shades of Grey. Why does this bother me so much? To see and read about these characters and their weak, washed out personalities. And it was a recent interview of Reece Witherspoon that finally gave me the answer I was looking for. Reece, a successful female actor, was being interviewed about some of her most recent successes. Such as her new movie called 'Wild' which portrays the true story of a young woman who sets out on a journey of discovery, trekking across the countryside alone and encountering many challenges along the way (haven't watched it yet so can't form an opinion). Reece was asked about taking on roles that depicted strong women - and she made a comment that made me think. For a very long time. She said something like 'I don't know any women who are not strong'.

She doesn't know ANY women who are not strong??? And I wondered this about myself. Did I know any women who are not strong? Surely, there are women I know who are not strong? So I started to think about the women I know, friends and acquaintances, and began assessing whether they were strong or weak or sooky or totally dependent, emotionally. And you know what - I don't know any women who are not strong either. Everyone I know is strong in some way or another. Not necessarily loud or physically strong or obviously stoic and weathered or wielding a sword and fighting off assailants. But strong. The deep down quiet strength that comes to the surface when it is needed. And so if you are reading this - and I know you - You Are Strong! (Even if you think you are not)

You are strong if you are battling through anything in you life. You are strong if you managed to get out of bed today and it was the very best you could manage. You are strong if you made it to work today when the world was against you. You are strong if you managed to avoid the temptation of all the things you are trying to avoid. You are strong if you have or are experiencing violence in any form, be it physical, sexual, emotional or verbal. You are strong for all the journeys in your life that you have made it through.

So, I decided that the characters of Anastasia and Bella are just not reflective of women. Not of any of us.

But back to the book.

Most of the reviews I have read so far have been extreme. By extreme I mean that they went completely one way or completely the other. There have been those who have stated over and over that 'It is Anastasia who has all the power' or that she is not the victim of abuse because 'she is totally consenting to everything that happens'. To this I say - You do not understand the cycle of abuse. Read more about this if you are interested. There is much literature on the cycle of abuse. If you read more about this you will see that, Yes, there are many components of abuse within this fictional relationship. I mean, anyone who has read the books will remember that Anastasia cries and cries after the first time she is 'spanked' (internal cringe at even writing that word!!) by Christian. She is completely emotionally distraught. She is in conflict because her emotions are saying that she likes this man A LOT but he has just physically hurt her as part of an intimate sexual experience.

Hmmmm. Well, all I can say is - think about that first encounter. Re-read it if you must. But the black and the white of it is that this is the beginning. The beginning of her exposure and therefore her reduced tolerance to the behaviour. Educate yourself in the cycle of abuse and you will see that this is true.

HOWEVER!

I have also read some reviews stating or suggesting that these books 'increase acceptance of domestic violence' or that they somehow increase the desire to engage in BDSM. I even read a study that suggested that those who had read all 3 books had an 'increased risk of engaging in binge drinking and having multiple sex partners'. Haha, I am 100% certain this did not happen for me. But I guess we are all different.

But perhaps there are a small number of people who, after reading the books (or watching the movie), have changed their behaviour in a way that depicts this type of experience - But I would suggest that it had more to do with what was going on for the individual BEFORE reading the books than what they read. Perhaps the book gave them some ideas but it would always be the underlying beliefs and previous experiences of the person that influenced how they chose to deal with the ideas presented in the books.

And of course there is the obvious one - that exposure to this type of literature in mainstream society reduces the perceived inhibitions around this type of behaviour or in basic terms - makes us used to this as 'normal' behaviour thereby increasing our likelihood to engage in said behaviour. But I would suggest that there is a deferent spin on this. A much more important side to this exposure - and I will talk about that in a moment.

So taking extreme sides to the argument might be your thing. And that's ok. There might be a very good reason you have chosen to take the stance that you have. And that's ok too. Then there are those who state that the book is very poorly written and not great literature. To this I say, Who Cares?! If people want to read it - let them. And really, how bad can it be if it has sold as many copies as it has??? (Sorry can't be bothered searching the exact amount!).

Finally, you may be wondering if I have or will be watching the movie. The short answer is probably yes . . .  eventually . . . on dvd . . . if I feel like it one day.  After all I don't like to form opinions of things that I know nothing about. BUT I won't be venturing to the movie theatre any time to watch it. Because . . . well I can't think of anything more awkward than watching soft porn. In public. With my friends. Eating popcorn. Glancing sideways at each other awkwardly. Just. Not. My. Thing. And even if I chose not to go with my friends - I think going alone might be even more creepy. For me anyway. That might be your thing. You should do what you want. And after it was labelled 'mummy porn' Eeeeeeeeeewww!!! As a self-respecting woman THAT alone lost it for me. Haha. I cannot be seen to be associated with the idea that the story was anything near pornographic for me. It wasn't. AT ALL!

And so I just want to finish by summing up for you what I liked and disliked about the books (and the talk about the associated movie, which I haven't watched).

What I disliked was: The sooky and dependent female character of Anastasia; The repetitive language used throughout the book; The over-simplified 'recovery' by Christian Grey to extreme early childhood trauma and abuse; The normalising of the cycle of abuse in a way that people don't even notice it.

What I LOVED: The highlighting of the cycle of abuse and how (just as with the cycle of abuse) you are 'conditioned' to accepting the behaviour slowly as the books go on; The highlighting of childhood trauma and abuse and how this directly affects people's outlook and behaviour as adults; And finally I have LOVED LOVED LOVED that these books and the associated movie have absolutely highlighted the very important issue of domestic violence. I mean, these books and this movie have created a space where this issue is being talked about. And talked about. And talked about.

So for me - And this is just my personal opinion - until I change it. (and for ideas on opinions I highly recommend watching on youtube the graduation speech by comedian Tim Minchin).
-We as a society are now more than ever 'normalising' the idea that domestic violence is not acceptable. We are 'normalising' discussions around what is deemed to be 'consent' in a relationship. And we are 'normalising' that those who have experienced extreme childhood trauma and abuse can rise above (in not quite a simplified way as Christian) the trauma and reach a point in their lives where they can function and even heal. This is ultimately a positive thing. And I think the positives of getting the discussion about domestic violence out there far outweighs the negatives of a few BDSM scenes in a fictional story.

So read it if you want. Watch it if you want. But remember people - These are fictional characters.

Have a good day - and tell me what you think?!

A Family Favourite: Baked Beef and Cheesy Risotto

OK. So today i am going to share a family favourite (meal that is) with you. Heath and I were watching (mind numbing not really watching) TV one weekend when they showed this recipe on Alive and Cooking. Now if you are like me, then you will understand how often you are looking for new meal ideas. Especially for a large family. We also like to use fresh raw (as in unprocessed) ingredients if we can.

 

So anyway, we thought that this one looked good and decided to try it. The very next night (this is a few years ago btw). Turns out, we loved it and so did the kids! Yay! bonus.

 

The great thing about this dish is that it can be adjusted to suit any size of family. We use a little more than what it listed on this recipe list (due to the size of our family) and we make the ratio of meat to rice a bit more as our kids really love the meatballs. So here goes.

 

Ingredients List

Method: I basically follow this except that i poke the cheese cubes down into the rice.

My little helper for chopping up the herbs and onion

He quickly discovered that the onions hurt his eyes so we came up with this solution

Everything chucked in the bowl

Spreading the rice around in the dish (a shallow dish works best)

mixing up the meatballs

Adding the stock

This is how it should look before you add the meatballs

Meatballs go in raw. I know it looks gross here but trust me-it is meant to look like this!

OK. Blogger mixed up my pics and I can't be bothered fixing it. This is the end result. Can be served with a garden salad. Delish!

This is how it should look before you add the cheese cubes. Also add a bit more stock if it needs it at this stage.

And the end result. With the cheese all melted through it. So there you have it. A cheap easy family meal to suit small or large families.

What am I doing??

I get a lot of people (friends and relatives) asking me what I am doing at uni. I briefly explain to each one and it's nice to know that someone is interested (as I am about their lives too). So I thought I'd put together a post about it. This is between essays (I submitted one today and I need a tiny break before I write the one that is due on Thursday!).

So what am I doing?

Well to sum it up, I am working towards a Bachelor of Social Work. I am studying at The University of Tasmania ( which just recently scored in the top 3% of world universities!). It is an excellent university and the programs are awesome.

www.utas.edu.au



 So what does a Bachelor of Social Work entail?

Well, The Bachelor of Social Work is a 4 year degree (when studied full-time but we'll go into that later). It is an end-on degree which mean you have to do 2 years of an approved degree (like Arts) and then you go into 2 years of Social Work. There is also a prerequisite that you have to have done 25% Psychology and 25% Sociology as part of your first two years in order to get into the two years of Social Work.

Now Arts is not what it sounds like. It has nothing to do with Art (that's the school of Fine Arts!).

The school of Arts is a broad range of subject including psychology, sociology, history, indigenous studies, Gender Studies, Philosophy etc etc. Heaps to choose from.

So where am I in all this?

Well, I am currently in my 2nd year of Arts. And I will move to Social Work next year. However, this is my 3rd year at utas. And the reason is that i studied 1st year of Arts part-time or 50% load over two years instead of one. This was necessary as I was working full-time in my childcare business - Family Day Care. I also studied one of my 2nd year subjects last year to take the pressure off of this year.

So far this is what I have studied

First Year of Arts
Psychology A
Psychology B
Sociology A
Sociology B
History A: Making Modern Europe
History B: Making the Modern World
Colonised Land: Indigenous Australian History
Contemporary Indigenous Australians

Working with Offenders (My 2nd year subject that I studied last year. A 2nd year soc subject)

So that parts done and dusted. Now this year here is what I am studying



The hardest book to read EVER!



The really cool thing about this textbook is that one of the authors is actually one of our lecturers at Utas! Pretty cool huh?! Told you we were top 3%


 

Semester 1
Research Methods (Psychology)
Social Inequalities: Global and Local (sociology)
Van Diemens Land: Contested History; Contested Place (LOVING this one!)
History of the Indigenous Peoples of North America

Semester 2
Social Psychology
Sociology of Youth
Australia: 1901 to 2001
(Only 3 subjects 2nd Semester due to the 2nd year subject I completed last year)

So what does this mean?

This means that by the end of this year (2013) I will be half way toward my degree (on the downhill run!). It also means that i spend a lot of time reading, writing essays and general studying. See below!

 The general rule of thumb is that you need to spend around 10 hours per week on each subject. Now if you know me well then you'll know that there is just no way that is possible! So I just do the best that I can in between my new job (whole other blog post there!) and my family.

This also means that I will graduate in December 2015. Yay! Can't wait.

So why am I doing this???

 

That is a very good question!! And let me answer by first saying this.

I have had many many people (other mothers mostly!) say things to me along the lines of:

-Why on earth are you doing that? Wouldn't you rather stay at home with your children

-Oh I'd rather stay at home for my children while they are little

-Doesn't your family suffer because of it?

And many other things but I especially love 'the looks'

 

And that is ok. It really is. that is their opinion. but here is how it really is

 

During semester (well this year) I have worked it so that I only have to attend campus one day a week (unless I have an essay due which is when I need to go to the library). Most of my study is done at night when most of my children are in bed. Lots of my study is done on the weekend when my husband is home and the positive of this is that he gets to spend a different type of time with them ( cooking tea etc and taking care of needs) stuff that i do mostly but he does really well ( when he's not grumpy anyway!). And occasionally I have to go waaaaay into the night to get an essay or research report finished!

 

But that still doesn't answer the question of why I am doing this?

 

There are a couple of reasons

 

The first is: It is part of my plan. My plan for my life and the things I wanted when I was 15 was

-A large family

-To build and own my own home

-to have a university degree

-to publish a book (or two or three or four)

 

The second reason is that I want to move into a higher wage bracket. I want a job that I can work 3 - 3and half days a week and earn the same as I would have working 5 days in childcare. i want a better quality of life. And I don't mean money. I mean that i want to have time. I want to have time to spend with my family. I mean my boys will be 16, 12 and 6 when I graduate. Definitely not too late! And my girls; well I want to go shopping with them on my days off. Have long lunches, shop for baby clothes. I want to spend time helping my husband with his business; to lighten his load. And the list goes on.

 

Does it mean my family don't suffer a little during these few years? No, because I'm sure it does change things for them. But it's not drastic and I think it's worth it!

 

I spent 15 years working as a family day carer which allowed me to be home for my children.

Sometimes I feel a bit guilty (Like when I drop Asha off to day care (two days a week) and he clings to my neck and yells 'Don't leave me here!!!!')

 

But it's a work in progress and I'm getting there. And sometimes I do an awesome job of uni and sometimes I do an awesome job as a parent . . . but sometimes I do a really crappy job of both but man That's life!

 

Anyway, that's all there is. Mission accomplished. I have explained what i am doing. But still feel free to ask me questions.



Christmas Cheer and New Beginnings!!

So it hasn't been quite as big a gap between posts!! I know! Shock Horror!

However, as usual I have been very busy. As many of you may know, Thursday was my very last day of Family Day Care EVER after 15 years! Now one might think that I would be feeling regret about my decision in the lead up to my final day. But let me tell you the truth of such things.

It was an answer to a prayer!

Strange?! Well, yes maybe. Especially as the prayer was said about 3 years ago and went along the lines of "oh and Heavenly Father I am not enjoying my work as much as I used to and I really need a change. I am so very grateful to have a flexible job when others have so little but I would appreciate a way that we could manage without this income at least until I finish my degree. I would be grateful for your input in this."

Well, something like that. And well, then we didn't discuss it much but from time to time I gave a little reminder and continued on . . . . .

But life has a way of changing. And you never know where it will take you. But I'll tell you the secret to big changes. It's all about making the decision. Yep, what unfolded was a set of circumstances that put me in the position to succeed. But God wasn't going to just make it happen, I had to play a hand. I had to take control of what I wanted and own it. I had to be the one to take the step.

It was a tough decision but it was the right decision. And so this week when I have woken at 1am and not been able to sleep again until 3:30am due to unusually intense anxiety, I have not wavered a bit from the choice I have made. Am I unsure of how the future will go? Hell yes!! Am I freaking out about the change?! Sure Am! But I have faith in my decision. I have faith in my ability to follow it through and I have faith in God to guide me along.

So here's to changes and new beginnings!

Ok, enough of all that. IT'S ALSO CHRISTMAS!!!

So, every year I like to buy my daycare children a Christmas present. But this year after having so much fun playing with all my dress up capes (them not me!) I decided to make them one each. Below is one of the girls ones modelled by a cute little friend.

All my daycare children loved them, which made me very happy! But 13 capes in 3 nights is not to be sneezed at! It was worth it in the end though to see them running around with their capes flapping behind them.

We have also been gearing up for Christmas and making some farewell and thank you gifts for teachers and carers. Below is one of our little stockpiles. I like to show my appreciation to the teachers for all the effort they put in throughout the year. Teachers usually go way beyond what is expected. And my kids really like to give something to their teachers. It also teaches our children to show appreciation, which is important.

Another thing we do in preparation for Christmas is add to the Kmart Wishing Tree each year. You can read about the Kmart Wishing Tree here http://www.wishingtree.kmart.com.au/
Now our usual routine is that we give our kids a certain amount of money (usually $20 which works out to a lot in a family of 7). We get the kids to do chores to earn the money first and then we head in to Kmart. We each choose a person we would like to buy for (boy, girl, young child, teenager, grandma grandpa) and we purchase a gift for them. The gift is then added to the Wishing Tree where they are distributed via the Salvation Army (The Salvos work in conjunction with Kmart).

You write a little note on a pre made gift tag which allows you to choose who it is for and write your name is you wish. I have always written my kids first name along with their age as I think if I was the person receiving the gift I would like this. Now we always let the kids choose their own category but I always ask the people in charge of the gifts at Kmart which category has received the least each year and I try to encourage that we pick those ones. Everyone enjoys this activity and we try to do it as a family although most years Heath misses out as it's hard for him to get away from work.

Anyway, this year has been even harder to get everyone together for whatever reason - work, school, wedding plans, getting ready for finishing up??? I'm really not sure? And we just hadn't got there yet. I was also struggling to find the extra cash this year but was feeling guilty and sad about it. So today when we were in town, we headed to Kmart. I had to cancel a layby that was no longer needed and I was going to use the cash refund for the gifts. I was feeling a little anxious about it though as I still havn't bought any Christmas food and I was quickly running out of money.

Anyway, while I was there I went to the service desk to enquire about an item we had paid for in a layby last week that was supposed to have been delivered to my house. I was then told that those items had not arrived in store and that they were very sorry but could only offer me a refund on the item ($99) AND get this . . . a $50 gift card for my trouble ( I really wasn't that troubled as these things happen!). I immediately asked the girl at the desk if we could still add to the wishing tree, to which she said yes! And the look on her face when I said 'Oh we'll use the gift card for that then' was priceless! She looked like she was going to cry (which made my day too). We were so blessed to not only be able to continue our tradition but also be given help with it. I was overjoyed. (I also added money to it from my $99 refund of course).

So me and Morgan decided to choose 4 gifts from our family this year (as no one else could make it to town with us) and so we asked which gifts were the lightest on this year. The girl said that teenagers were the lightest on followed by grandparents.

So our decision was made!!!!! With Asha tantruming the whole way (and I mean the whole way) we chose our gifts. Our spirits weren't dampened though by his crying and screaming (I did try to make him happy but 3 year olds have a mind of their own!).

So here's what we bought . . . .

A cup and bickie set for a Grandma.

A beautiful landscapes of Australia 2013 calendar and a box of favourites for a Grandpa

An Art Journal, set of paint brushes and set of oil paints for a teenage girl

And a Footy for a teenage boy.
I really hope that these gifts bring someone joy this Christmas and I hope we chose wisely. I also hope we can continue our tradition for many years to come.

And on a funny note, as we were leaving the Kmart car park I reversed out of my park and was hurled abuse (swearing and yelling) by a man and a woman who had pulled out at the same time a couple of parks down ( I thought they were waiting to pull into my park but alas I was wrong - as they told me and everyone else in the car park) But that didn't even dampen my spirits. So on impulse I yelled at the top of my lungs "Merry Christmas" to them (in a nice voice, I truly meant it) much to the amusement of Morgan and about 6 other people in cars who had seen and heard the whole episode! It was hilarious as I thought to myself "Well Maranda, You can't change the world but at least you can do a few things to try"

So anyway, It was meant to be that those 4 people got gifts this year. I would encourage you to do the same if you ever get the urge. It is a great system they have going.

On a lighter note, My friend Peta called in about an hour after my last child left on Thursday and we toasted to new beginnings! It's awesome to have people who care about what is hapening in your life and that's the value of a friend.

These next two pics are in the wrong order but the second one is the cake she also made me!!!

The flowers are from NCN (Northern Childrens Network) who I have run my business through over the last 15 years.

So there it is!! Christmas Preparations and a New Beginning. I hope you all have a very safe and very Merry Christmas. Remember to reach out to someone who might need to see a smile or have someone hold their hand this Christmas season. It's what Jesus would do! Oh and if you don't like reading 'God talk' Go read another blog! It's part of my life ;) Have a good day/night/Christmas/year/life!!!

On Turning 40 . . . Well . . . In 3 years

I turned 37 yesterday. It's been a long time coming as I kind of skipped a year. For the whole year that I was 35 I thought I was 36. Which was fine and then when I had my 36th birthday I realised my mistake and began another year of being 36. After all, it only matters what is in your head, not what age you really are! So I feel like it has taken ages to be 37.

But that's not what this post is about.

This post is about Life, about Women and how we change as we progress through life.

It's about hopes and dreams and finding balance in what you want, what you need, what is expected and what you never thought would happen . . . So let's begin.

And so I Hope . . .

That when I turn 40 . . . in 3 years . . . That I am not completely the wild and erratic girl I was when I was a teenager. Not that I didn't like that girl, she was ok. But she was unsure of who she was. She was trying to fit in to a world where she just didn't. She was crazy and carefree. She was pensive and yet abrupt. She was skinny and brown. She was curly and lively. And she was a mother.

A mother to two gorgeous girls.

The first one came when the teenage girl was 16. Sixteen and two months to be precise. And the first one saved the teenage girls life. The teenage girl had no idea about babies and had only held one once for about 5 minutes a couple of months before. And she sure didn't know how to be a mother! (but who really does with the first baby). The first one came to teach her selflessness.

What she did know was - She didn't want to fit the stereotypical teenage mothers ideal. She didn't want to be a bad mother; a good one was the only thing to consider. And she didn't want the judgement and scorn that came with the territory of teenage motherhood.

 

But there were only two of those things that she had control over and she tried her best to accomplish them.

 

 

The second little girl came when the teenage girl was 19. The second little girl changed her life. The second little girl came to teach lessons of love and fun. And the teenage girl was surprised by the judgement that still came even though she had a little family at home. And washed all their clothes. And cooked them fresh veggies every night. And NEVER gave the little girls cordial to drink. And kept the house clean. And played with the little girls all the time. And sewed them little blankets for their dolls beds out of scraps of fabric from her Grandmothers stash. (She certainly couldn't afford to buy fabric).

And so I hope . . .

 

To be braver in that teenage girls honour for she fought so very hard to fit in.

To be stronger from the mistakes that she made .

To be more cautious as those around you can sometimes not have the best intentions.

And to be more humble so that the judgement didn't make any bitterness.

 

And then came the 20's

 

The 20's girl was much braver than the teenage girl and she took the world on with a sword in one hand and a string of children in the other.

 

 

The 20's girl learnt a lot in 10 years. The 20's girl had two little boys. A blond one and a brown one. The blond one came when the 20's girl was 23. The blond one came to teach her tolerance and unconditional love. He came to teach her not to judge others in their own battle. And he came to teach her that she needed to think outside the box.

 

 

 

The 20's girl gained confidence and plowed into life. The 20's girl tried to fit in everything she could. The 20's girl started a business that would sustain her family for many many years to come. The 20's girl got married. And the 20's girl built a house from start to finish and settled in to enjoy being alive. But still the judgement came and still she didn't quite fit in.

 

The brown boy came when the 20's girl was 27. The brown boy came to teach her understanding and sacrifice. The brown boy came to teach her to face her demons and come out the other side; changed but better. The brown boy came to teach her to question everything. Especially her spirituality.

 

I swear that Jory is in this picture! He's just in a carrier behind Heath's back!

 

The 20's girl still had a lot to learn though. The 20's girl didn't know what was true inthe world. She didn't know the reasons for being on Earth. And she didn't understand why she had faced challenges. And so the 20's girl started to search.

 

And so I hope . . .

 

To be more understanding of others than the 20's girl

To be more humble than the 20's girl because sometimes she wasn't.

To be slower and take in the beauty of the world because the 20's girl flew through like a shot from a gun.

To not be pushed around because the 20's girl still let people choose what was right for her.

And to appreciate the world that I have and what I have chosen.

 

And then came the 30's

 

Now the 30's girl was much more cautious than the teenage girl or the 20's girl. She had faced many challenges and had learnt to be careful. The 30's girl found what she was looking for. And the world made sense . . . For a while.

 

The 30's girl then lost a friend. She lost a brother. She lost a kindred, kind and humble spirit. They had been friends since before he was born. But he was too beautiful for this troubled world. His heart was too broken. And so God was calling him back. He had been calling for a while. And so he decided to go.

 

The brother came to teach the girl about acceptance and trust. He came to teach the 30's girl that she couldn't control the world and that she would still be ok. He came to show her that she had to accept God's will even if she didn't understand it.

 

 

But the 30's girl still had a lot to learn. And it came in the way of two tiny spirits who only needed to have a heart beat and experience life. Two tiny spirits who wanted the 30's girl to know they were hers but that she couldn't hold them just yet. And those two tiny spirits came to teach the girl to be humble. They came to teach her to value what she already had. The came to teach the 30's girl that she had to make sacrifices.

 

But then the 30's girl was blessed with a little white boy.

 

 

Now the little white boy came to teach the 30's girl about True Love and Blessings. He came to teach her that life is sometimes hard but it's totally worth it. He came to teach her that she could take it to the brink and somehow survive.

 

 



But the 30's girl still has a lot to learn.

 

The 30's girl achieved a lot too. The 30's girl learned to trust in her own ability. She learned that she was capable. She learned to trust in the unknown and go with it.

 

And so I hope . . .

 

To learn the lessons that are for me so that I can move forward

To remember to be myself and not what others expect of me

To grow my spirituality and remember that it is a continuous journey and not a destination.

To remember the beautiful moments in my life and never never forget what they mean.

 

And so - On turning 40 . . .

 

I Hope . . .

 

To be a much more knowing and spiritual person than I was when I was just a teenage girl

 

To have much more energy than I did when I was a tired and very busy mother as 20's girl

 

To be a much more balanced person than I was as a very very tired mother, breadwinner and student that I have been as 30's girl.

 

To have gained what I have been working towards as 30's girl - My degree

 

 

 

But I also hope . . .

 

To NEVER fit in as it's just not who I am

 

To (try to) NEVER question my spirituality

 

To (try to) NEVER take what I have for granted

 

To (try to) NEVER waste a day bogged down with misery

 

To try to embrace the new girl that is bound to come. And she is 40's girl.

 

I can't wait to meet her. She's on her way.

 

But I am also a realist. And I know she won't be perfect. So I am going to try to give her a break

 

And so I hope . . .

 

To be more understanding and caring to myself.

 

x x x x x x x

 

 

 

I'm back!!

So it's been a long time between blogs! And i'll tell you why. This picture on the left says it all - Yes - Uni. I have been studying hard and trying to get through to my exams. The one on the left (Contemporary Indigenous Australia) is done and dusted and i am awaiting my results which will hopefully be released on Friday. I have to say that i have enjoyed it so far even though the time restrictions with a family of two adults and five children has been challenging. 

I do have one exam left though and it is my Sociology exam. It is a deferred exam as i was sick on the day and had to apply to sit it later. All the deferred exams are being held in December so i am about to get back into study again.

We have also been galavanting around the countryside and spent 3 glorious weeks in sunny Queensland in October. The next 3 shots are snippets of our trip and i will try to do a whole blog about our holiday. This pic above is at our accommodation in Mooloolaba on the Sunshine Coast. This is the rooftop spa (which Asha DID NOT like one little bit). Everyone jumped in every night for a steamy hot spa!!

 This pic on the right is of Morgan and Asha on a tea cup ride at Aussie World (also on the sunshine coast).

 On the Giant Slide at Aussie World! fun. And yes i did go on this . . . and nearly everything else.

 But as all trips have to . . . it came to an end. We got home to discover that YES! we needed a new washing machine. So we toodled on in to Harvey Norman and grabbed an 8.5kg LG front loader. I have wanted a front loader for ages as i want to build a bench in the laundry. We had also been struggling along with a tiny 4.5kg washer for many years (and with 7 of us i really mean struggling!) so i am thrilled to be spending way less time in the laundry!!

 While we were in Queensland we went to a market up on Tamborine mountain where i was inspired to make these little pencil pockets. 


I searched for a pattern online that i liked but couldn't find one so i drew up my own. 


The next pic will not turn but you get the idea. I made one each for Jory an Asha to take to places like church or in the car. Anywhere they need to be amused really.

 I am really happy with how they turned out and the boys have already been getting plenty of use out of them.

 So after so many months of studying a little sewing got me inspired!! I decided to get some stuff made . . . just for fun. Now sewing may not sound like the most usual thing to do for fun but i find it really relaxing and satisfying. My grandma (who died just over 4 years ago) gave me her Janome memory craft 4000 quite a few years before she passed away and i am very grateful to her (and also for the things she taught me about sewing) as i would never have been able to afford a decent machine so early on in my life. 

The first thing i decided to make were these super cute dresses for my neices (on Heaths side). They are a Simplicity pattern and the fabric is just from boring old spotlight but i just love how they turned out!

 

I modified the pattern to suit my own taste as the original pattern called for a tulle skirt to go underneath - i replaced it with a nice white linen trim. This is much more modern i think.

I also changed the waistband as the pattern only called for a white ribbon to go around and be tied at the front. I attached a white linen band and stopped sewing at the side seams to allow for it to be tied at the back.

I also made up a cute little headband for each of them. How cute do they look??!!!

I made them in a slightly bigger size as they're mothers wanted them this way so that they will fit them next summer too.
 

I have also had a birthday along the way and i asked Heath if he would buy me a cabinet for the dining room so i can store all my sewing stuff including my machine (this will allow the use of the dining table again) 

 This is the cabinet i chose and matches well with our dining table. I really love it as i can have all my stuff sorted and within easy reach. I can't take credit for the idea though as it was inspired here

http://tonicoward.blogspot.com/2011/07/where-i-sew.html

 Toni's sewing room is really cool and i loved the cabinet she has all her fabrics sorted in to.

 I grabbed some boxes to put my patterns in while in Hobart which will help to keep it neat!!!!

 So now it's time to get a few things made for Christmas. This fabric on the left is on its way to being something cool for Makayla. But thats another story.


Kind of a boring sewing blog i know but this fabric on the right is a true 'vintage' peice from my Grandma's stash. I know it could be great for something but i just don't know what?? If i use some kind of classic pattern then it will just look old. I was thinking of some kind of modern funky thing that will really make it shine! 
Any ideas??!! Please help.