Rocking my Babies

Hey. It's been a while Blogger. About time I updated a bit. Had a special moment tonight. Just me and the babies. They'd had their baths and we were reading stories in the rocking chair. Logan got up to look out the window and it was just Pyper and I. I asked her if she wanted me to stop singing and she said no, keep going. So she cuddled up and I kept singing. It made me remember all the nights I rocked her to sleep as a baby, thinking to myself that I would never regret spending that time. And I don't. I am so grateful to have had that time with her. It does make me sad that she's not a little baby anymore. But she is so vibrant and beautiful and joyful, thoughtful, genuine, innocent, and I could go on forever. She brings me the most intense joy every single day. I know I am blessed to have her in my life. So blessed.

In Process

I don't consider myself to be an eloquent writer. I try. But when I have so many friends who blog so well, I have a hard time appreciating my own meager contributions to the blogging world. And so, due to my own feelings of blogging inadequacy, this little memoir tends to be neglected. I've had a few things on my mind lately, though.

After I had Logan, I decided that it was time to make some changes. I was very unhappy with my body, having never lost the weight I gained with my little Pyper. I would get overwhelmed when I thought about all the changes I would have to make in order to get to where I wanted to be, and I felt that I had SO far to go. I knew myself well enough to know that I had to do it all at once (the diet, exercise, everything). So, I got myself some Chalene Johnson Turbofire, some Mona Vie RVL Shake set a date and went to work. I honestly did the 45 minute workout in my basement every. single. day. All the while Pyper happily watched a movie on the "puter" and Logan slept soundly in his swing. It was a brutal workout, but I knew that every sore muscle meant that I was getting stronger. I bought myself a bathroom scale and the harder I worked the faster the number on that scale dropped. I started out almost six weeks to the day from Logan's birth at 159 lbs. I was SO thrilled every time I would drop into the next set of 10's (40's, 30's and finally 20's). I knew that I was achieving my goals, but I still thought of it as almost a binge weight loss, where I would get to my goal weight and then do whatever I wanted after that. I still hadn't reached that point where my muscles craved the exercise, and felt awesome after it was over, instead of feeling like I had just been run over by a truck. I'm happy to say that, eight months post workout one, I finally have reached that point. I look forward to pushing my body to it's limits, sweating like crazy and then the emotional high that comes after. As I've reflected on these past months, where I am and also where I want to be with regard to my fitness, I've been struck with how much my experiences in this area relate to life in general.

Process. Everything is a process. Thank goodness for that. Thank goodness there is always work to do, always improvement to be made. What would we do if we ever actually became perfect at something? More importantly, what would we do if we could never improve on something? What would happen if we reached a point of dissatisfaction with an area of our lives, and then realized that there was nothing we could do to change it?

Often the small efforts we make, the tweaks here and there, are making changes that we cannot see the results of for some time. They are under the surface, and even though the end product is not visible, we still have to make those small changes, with faith that, through process and guidance by someone who knows more than we do, the results will be worthwhile. For me this is applicable for everything from exercise (which is where this all stemmed from) to raising my kids.

This means, for me, that everything matters. Every look I give my daughter, every sharp or kind word, every moment spent holding and interacting with my baby boy, every act of service I choose to give (or some days not to give...) to my husband... all of it lays the ground work for something bigger, something lasting. It is my simple, everyday choices that determine the end result. Just like strength building exercises, which take many months of diligent application for any kind of change to be visible, the smallest of choices made on a consistent basis determine what my life and the lives of my family members will look like in five, ten or fifty years. My happiness tomorrow depends upon the decisions I make today. That is frightening (what if I make the wrong choices) and wonderful (I have the power to determine my own happiness).

So, rather than look at the end product and try to jump in with both feet, I will focus on the process. Today I will not focus on being a "good mother" or a "good wife". What are those definitions anyways? Rather, I will speak more kindly to my family than I did yesterday. I will have more patience with my three year old than I did this morning. I will cuddle my baby boy for a few more minutes while he sleeps before I lay him down. I will give my husband more of my time and affection than I did two minutes ago. I won't worry as much about the laundry (that is and will always be there waiting for me), my kitchen that is mostly clean, or the fact that I only had one vegetable for dinner instead of three... and the list goes on. But mostly, I will have patience with myself and this process called LIFE.

R

A Little Post on My Little Buddy

So I haven't posted on my little man yet! What the heck Rach!!! I guess I'm just too busy lovin' on him to write about it! He is seriously SUCH a doll - so much less dramatic than his sister already! haha. He has been a dream from day one. Naps all on his own (Pyper would wake up the SECOND I would set her down), plays on the floor (not an option for Pyper), rarely cries (hm...). Wait, I'm making Pyper sound like a horrible baby and I ADORED her as a baby! She was WONDERFUL, he's just a boy, and she is a girl. Anyways, I am just loving being a mom of two. Pyper and Logan adore each other and I love watching them interact. Pyper calls him her buddy and he just grins whenever she comes anywhere near him. It is so much fun!!! Anywho, here are a few pictures of him as a newborn and then a couple from later. He has changed SO much, and I have a love/hate relationship with that. Kids are just so much fun (I was going to write work and then cross it out but I guess blogger is smarter than me. Oh well, I laughed out loud at my own joke).

I Just Wanna Cry!!!

What a little stinker my 3 year old is! The drama!!! Sometimes gets a little grumpy (usually when I haven't put her down for a nap that day...What? She goes to be like 1000 times better if I don't!). Tonight was one of those nights. She was just crying for apparently no reason, clinging to my legs "howd you mommy!" (for some reason we got hold you instead of hold me, but I love it...). So I told her in my most patient voice that she if she wanted to cry she needed to go into the living room if she wanted to cry, so off she goes and Mark and I were kind of giggling in the kitchen (I know, mean parents. If she didn't do this like all the time, we might be more sympathetic...) She finally comes back into the kitchen, still crying of course, and climbs up on the stool next to Mark. Mark turns to her and says "Pyper, you need to stop crying". She looks over at him and says "Dad, I just WANT to cry. Mommy, tell Daddy I just wanna cry" Ha!

Mark's Aunt Kathy said to me once that girls start crying at age two and never stop. So far she is right.

And so it begins....

Letters on the Fridge

I have been rolling this post around in my brain for the last long while. As I sat in the kitchen one night I glanced over at my fridge and took note at what was on it at that particular time: a couple of cards reminding me about dentist appointments, a picture of Pyper, numerous nursery pictures coloured in her own special way, and some magnet letters arranged according to colour. I don't know why they struck me so hard, I must have looked at them a million times, but I got a little teary. My baby girl is already going to be three years old in just two short months. I realized how full and beautiful my life is because of things like letters on the fridge, finding rocks in my pyjama drawer, multiple dance parties in the basement with the help of a special snow white costume. It occurred to me that when I find a belt that she has wrapped around her waist in the basement (one that I would definately have been looking for the night before), or my pilates band in the upstairs bathroom, I need to thank God that I have this beautiful, wonderful, brilliant little girl in my life. I need to be thankful that I GET to pick up after her, I GET to listen to the tantrums, I GET to the attitude, and I also GET the kisses, the "I just love you mommy", the "I'n such a good helper, right mom?", the excersize partner, the little best friend. Most of all, I'm so grateful that I'm the one she calls Mommy. 

The Last Few Months

I know it's been a few months so this can be a comprehensive post with little explanations for each picture. First off, in February we were going crazy with all the snow so we just decided to take off and head for Vegas and a visit with my dad and his sweet wife Joanne. We stayed with them for a couple nights (and didn't take a SINGLE picture!!!) and then headed off for Vegas. We stayed in a great hotel, the Aria (thanks Hotwire!). It was crazy because everything in our room was automated, from the curtains in our room to the tv and lights, and all controlled by our alarm clock, which explains why I turned the tv on in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, and then couldn't figure out how to turn it off, subsequently having to turn the lights on and opening the blinds by accident. Pyper just loved the huge windows in our room and spent the majority of the time on this chair staring out at the pool and other hotels. We also got to see our good friends, Brian and Sarah Bonnet, who also happen to be our step-siblings! How fun is that!

Pyper thought this dragon was Toothless off "How to Train Your Dragon" and kept going up to it and scratching it hoping it would fall over.

Pyper in front of the neat waterfall that went pretty much all the way around the hotel.

Just chillin watching one of like 18 movies we entertained her with on the way there and back from Vegas - yes, we drove. Yes, we're crazy.

Pyper thought it was really fun to sit behind me on the ball while I worked on the computer. Definately some bouncing going on!!!

Pyper in the tent that Mark made for her. She was overly obsessed with tents at this point in time and so this was a life saver for me. I can't tell you how much time I spent under a blanket on the couch with this kid!

We had Michelle and Neil out for dinner one night and Pyper was delighted with Porter. They watched a movie, had popcorn and just played together so well. Yes, she thinks she's smiling.

Round about March we finally had a good melt. I had just bought Pyper some gum boots and she was just itching to go out and puddle-jump. I was still not feeling well with my pregnancy but just couldn't say no! She had a BLAST! She got soaked and it was so worth it.

To be continued...





Pyper's Second Birthday!!!

I know this post is about a month overdue but nevertheless here it is! My baby turned two on January 11th! I still can't believe I have a two year old. She is the joy of our lives. She knows all her letters and the majority of the sounds they make. The loves to make tents and is very good at entertaining herself. She thinks she is the funniest thing on the planet, and she kind of is. She's a little bit bossy with a bit of a 'tude, but has the sweetest disposition and spirit. We are so excited to watch her with this new little baby, she adores babies and is always mothering her puppies, dolls and other stuffed animals. She loves her daddy to death, and he adores her right back. As for her mommy, I can't help but feel what an immense privilege it is to be her mother. She is my little best friend and I LOVE being with her all day. While I was sick she honestly kept me going, and she continues to give daily life variety and joy. I am so grateful for her.

For her birthday we had Mark's mom and dad, my mom and brother, Chance, my sister Kenzie and her boyfriend, Tom over for dinner. Then we had the Leishman's and the Keogler's over for ice cream and cake and playtime. Pyper had a blast. It is so fun to watch her learn to interact with other kids. She has so much fun playing with them and very rarely has problems sharing (so far!)

She is a wonderful little girl and I just don't know how we ever got along without her. I know we couldn't now.

I LOVE this kid!!!