On this snowy day I was archiving my hard drive and I found this document in a personal folder. This talk was given by my brother and I five years ago and hadn’t read this document until today.
Marlina: When I was thinking about the words I would share today, I
researched like I usually do for any speech. I went to the internet, read
books about fathers, and listened to people that knew my dad. The other
night as I sat in front of a blank screen, I realized that I didn’t need to
do research but instead I picked up the phone and called my brother, Johnny.
Johnny: Today, we would like to share a few words and stories that describe
our father. The words that we use to describe our father would be
Impression, Patience, Forgiveness, and Life Long Student
Impression
Marlina: An impression can be something that leaves a strong effect by
intellect or feeling. It is also a mark, an indentation, or an image a
person leaves with you after meeting them. He owned a restaurant which gave
us the opportunity to learn life’s lesson such as teamwork, communication,
multi-tasking, and management. Owning a restaurant is hard work and the
opportunity to work in his restaurant has instilled in each of us many
talents and skills we use every day. To this day, each of us found comfort
in going to our parent’s restaurant to cook. The restaurant was, what I
would describe, as comfortable chaos. I remember times that the four of us
would be in the kitchen with our parents preparing food for banquets. We
each had our own job in the kitchen and knew the technique for cooking each
plate and there was a rhythm between all six of us in the small kitchen.
Johnny: Our father made an impression in each of us. Even his
introduction left an impression. Any time he would call on the phone, his
introduction would be “Hello, This is Tom Yee calling from Hong Kong Café
in Milford, Utah.” Our father was proud to say that he immigrated from
China. Owned, operated and retired from the Hong Kong cafe with his wife and
was living the American dream. Our dad has left an impression of him that
has enabled my brother and sisters to seek opportunities. Our dad wanted to
go to college, to teach, to be in law enforcement, to be in the medical
field, and work in business market. Watching his children, he was able to
achieve these dreams. With every conversation that each of us had with him,
he wanted to hear about our stories as they became the color and texture to
the tapestry of family’s achievements.
Patience
Marlina: Patience is a skill that our father mastered. I can’t say that I
have necessarily inherited this skill. Our father was patient with fishing,
hunting, and teaching us.
Johnny: The first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word
patience is the dining room in the Hong Kong Café . Our Dad was so adamant
about education that he would spend endless hours tutoring me, which at the
time what I thought of as torture sessions. The hours we spent in the dining
room brought us closer together as teacher and student, father and son, and
best friends.
Marlina: Maybe patience has skipped a generation, because my daughter,
Kianna, is very patient when she was with her grandfather. Gong-Gong is
the Chinese name for grandfather. Kianna loves to be with her Gong-Gong and
often you would find both of them at the same table sharing a conversation,
a snack or a meal together. She often listened to our dad share stories or
lessons, even though it may have been told to her five other times. He was
always happy to see Kianna.
Forgiveness
Johnny: Our dad never believed in holding grudges or being mad too long with
anyone. He was always able to find the good in everyone he met. My father
was a top level ping pong player. He HAD many trophies to show achievements.
Notice I use the word had? I will be using that word a lot in this story As
a child growing up I loved to play with army men. One day I was playing in
the living room and looked up to see a bunch of what I thought where special
golden army men on the shelf. So I took it upon myself to free them. I
grabbed a chair and climbed up to them. Then took the trophies one at a time
down to the floor. And proceed to take them apart. To my surprise not only
did I get a dozen golden army men but some cool parts for a back yard battle
field. Dad had not idea that his poor trophies where my first wave of
defense against any unwitting intruders. My sisters. I think that Dad was
working at the café and mom was getting ready for work while I set up my
perimeter. About the time I was finished setting up my army my dad pulled
up. I hurried inside to see what he was doing home. As he walked into the
house he noticed something was not right. I ran to my room as he inspected
the shelf. I heard him walking my direction and hid in the closet. He told
me to come out because he want to talk to me. Only he had a ping pong paddle
in his hand when he said that. I never feared that my dad would hurt me but
I didn’t want to chance it. So I waited a few minutes before coming out. My
dad had a look of hurt on his face and I knew then that I disappoint him
some how. Dad asked me to go into the living room while he got a drink of
water. I sat there for what felt like hours. I accepted that I deserved
punishment but what I feared most was the disappointment my dad felt. Dad
sat me down and explained that what I did was wrong and asked why I did it.
I told him why. Dad’s face went from being hurt to a sheepish smile. He gave
me the ping pong paddle and said I could have it to place with too. To my
surprise dad forgave me for defacing his trophies in a matter of seconds. A
few years ago I asked dad if he remembered the trophy incident. He did. I
asked him why he didn’t punish me for what I did. Dad said that the look on
my face and the time he gave me to think about what I did, was punishment
enough. I asked him how did he found it inside himself to forgive me. Dad
smiled and said “Johnny you where just a little boy. My little boy.”
Marlina: Forgiveness. Wow. Where do I begin? Our father had the most
forgiving heart than anyone I knew. He has forgiven me many times… maybe
too many times. You see…growing up, I couldn’t see eye-to-eye with him. It
was only after I had Kianna, that I realized how forgiving he was and that
he forgave me a long time ago for all the mistakes and lessons that I
insisted on learning myself. He was always there ready to catch each of us
and encourage us to move forward.
Life Long Student
Johnny: If you were to visit our parent’s house, you would find bookcases
upon bookcases of books. Our dad has books from learning to speak French
to, fishing, hunting, through learning to fly a helicopter. His passion to
learn and sharing his knowledge inspired him to document and refine his
strategy If you are lucky enough, you may have a copy of “Tom Yee’s
Playing 21 Grid”, like this one (hold up a copy).
Marlina: I will always remember our dad sitting at a table reading and
taking notes. On several occasions I have asked him what he was reading.
His reply would always be “I’m studying”. Our father loved to learn and
has always encouraged each of us to pursue our dreams. Even though he has a
library of books that ranges many topics, the greatest lessons that he
taught us would not be in that library but instead they are weaved in the
stories, sayings, and experience he shared with each of us. I will always
cherish those times.
Johnny: In conclusion we would like to share a poem by Saralyn Smith titled
Never Ready to Say Goodbye
We’re never ready to say goodbye
To someone we hold dear.
If it were up to us, dear Dad,
We’d always keep you here.
Marlina:
But God has reasons of His own
And plans we cannot know,
And these are always for our good,
Though it may seem not seem so.
Johnny:
Our arms are empty and our hearts
Are filled with tears and grief,
For we who loved each day with you,
Now find those days too brief.
Marlina:
Yet if we could only heaven see,
We’d know you’re happy there,
And we would never call you back
When such great joy you share.
Johnny:
And so we’ll trust you to God’s great care
And know some day, once more,
We’ll hold you to our hearts again
When we reach heaven’s shore.
Marlina's Kitchen Table 
