Kids Say the Darndest Things - October '09 Edition

Taken from the sidebar...

We were talking about doctors & hospitals...
Ryan: "So, why was Haylee in the hospital for so long?"
Haylee "Because I have problems!" 10/09

Haylee: "Will you make your Mint Brownies again?"
Me: "They're too many points."
Haylee: "I don't like your points! When are you going to STOP doing your points?"
Me: "When I'm skinny."
Haylee: "You're already skinny."
Me: "No I'm not."
Haylee: "You're skinny enough!" (pause) "What about donuts? Do you think they're too many points?" 10/09

I was holding Katelyn in my lap, cradling her like a baby, and we were looking into each other's eyes..
Me: "You're getting so big, you don't even fit anymore! Your legs stretch way past my lap!"
Katelyn: (giggles)
Me: "Is it OK if I still cuddle you like a baby?"
Katelyn: (smiling & nodding, talking like a baby) "Uh huh!"
Me: "Do you like it?"
Katelyn: (cuddling in closer, looking content, in "baby talk") "Yes!"
Me: "Will you promise to still let me do this when you're a teenager?"
Katelyn: "How much longer is that?"
Me: "About 8 years."
Katelyn: "Then, No, you can't!"
Me: "Why not?"
Katelyn: "You'll be a GRANDMA by then!" 10/09

I'm a Mean Ol' Witch with a Hat...

I've had this Halloween decoration hanging on my wall at home this month.

Sometimes it looks like this....

And sometimes it looks like this...

I am not changing it.
I wonder who secretly IS?

And which member of my household they are referring to? :0

The Tooth Fairy - Redeemed!

Up until now, the Tooth Fairy has NEVER come in a timely manner when our kids have lost teeth and put them under their pillows! The nerve! Nope, the "morning after" has always brought disappointment as our kids have looked under their pillows to find....NO money, but only their tooth - still there! Frequently, the "morning after" the "morning after" has resulted the same. It's so bad that sometimes a week goes by with no visit! The kids are really starting to think that the Tooth Fairy is SOOO DUMB! (I would have to agree!) I can't remember for sure, (READ: I'm in denial) but we may have had times when the Tooth Fairy never did come for a certain tooth, so the kids eventually gave up & the tooth was lost or discarded or misplaced or something. Like I said the Tooth Fairy is retarded! I have tried to make all kinds of excuses in the Tooth Fairy's behalf, to better their opinion of him/her (which is it?)

The Tooth Fairy won't come if the child isn't in bed by a certain time.

The Tooth Fairy must've had too many other children's houses to go to last night.

Maybe the Tooth Fairy tried to come, but he/she couldn't trod through this messy room!

The Tooth Fairy IS getting older, I mean he/she was around when I was a little girl (and came the 1st night back then), he/she might be "losing it" these days!

Maybe he/she doesn't want a tooth with a cavity in it.

_________(fill in the blank w/ any cock & bull story) must've held him/her up!

Oh, you put your tooth in a ziploc bag, so the Tooth Fairy couldn't "follow the scent" of the enamel (or whatever it is they smell.)

I don't know! I pretend to not be associated with such a neglectful creature at all.

BUT, Last night Haylee lost a tooth while Matt & I were at the temple, so Ryan put her to bed and she put her tooth under her pillow.
AND, this morning her tooth was gone and money was in it's place! Simple, I know. Probably a common happening at your house, but truly AMAZING at ours! We now have renewed faith in the Tooth Fairy! I guess he/she can keep his/her job for now.

**I think the "visit" might have happened around 5:00 in the morning, but the ending was happy, so who cares?!? :)

Why does she do this to her hair every year...

Right before it's time to get her annual picture taken?!?

**She said that she didn't like that strand of hair hanging down in her eyes...well, it's always "breaking loose" from the hair elastic BECAUSE SHE CUT IT BEFORE and it's not long enough, yet! I guess we need to stay better on top of keeping her hair done! ;)

Graduated from One Course, but May Need to Retake Another

I survived.
I'm done with my JetBlue Training course!
I am really glad it was only temporary. Matt & I agree, we could not handle that kind of schedule long-term. It just doesn't fit with a family.
Nor is it good on my driving competence.

I read in the Reader's Digest (where I get all my nuggets of wisdom) that "The performance of someone who's been awake for 17 hours straight is about the same as if she has a blood alcohol level of 0.05 percent (about two drinks in an hour).

Before I tell you this story, let me just say, I DON'T DRINK. I've never tasted any alcohol - EVER! (I've washed my hair with it - to make it shiny & glorious - but never consumed it!)

You see...One Friday night, after 5 nights in a row of 3 hrs. of sleep due to my training schedule, I left the JB offices at 2:00 in the morning so glad to have the weekend in front of me --I just needed to get home and that blessed time off would start! Well, I discovered (too late) that when you're driving on I-215 North, if you are in the right-hand lane, it will take you off the Interstate automatically and put you on Foothill Dr. Which is where I found myself at approximately 2:10 AM. I did not know exactly how to get back, so I drove here & there on some dark, deserted roads. One [wrong] turn included following a sign with an arrow pointing me to I-80. I found out later that the arrow had been rotated around to be pointing the opposite direction...or maybe I hallucinated the arrows direction? So, around 2:30 AM, I got back on the right freeway. Whew! I was on my way. Only to then see some flashing red & blue lights in my rear view mirror 10 minutes later. As I waited for the cop to approach my car, I wondered what the offense was. I didn't think I was speeding, but that brain fog settles in on my drives home, so I wasn't able to come up with an answer. I was startled by a knock on the passenger door window. There was the cop standing over there! Is this common? Is this what they're doing now? Anyway, after he asked me for my license (good thing I renewed it even though it meant getting a new photo & weight) and registration, we had the following dialog (while shining his flashlight on me the entire time.)

Cop: "Did you know you're drifting around your lane pretty bad?"

I don't remember doing that!

Me: "No." (But, thinking to myself, "Isn't that what the guard rails are for? To bounce back & forth between when driving at insane hours of the morning?")

Cop: "Yeah, you were. In fact, one time I watched you travel half-way into the next lane before you put your blinker on."

I didn't recall that, either!

Me: "Hmmm." (Again, thinking to myself, "Isn't that pretty normal for Utah? No, I guess it's not...most people don't even bother to signal at any time during their lane change!")

Cop: Noticing my JetBlue crew member badge still hanging around my neck... "JetBlue...You coming home from work?"

Me: "Yep."

Cop: "You a pilot or something?"

I was kind of flattered that he'd think I was a pilot! But, then I found out later, from talking to someone else, that if a pilot gets pulled over or a ticket, he can get his Pilot's Licence taken away. I'd never heard that before (I still wonder if it's true? All you "Snopes people" find that out and let me know.)

Me: "No, I'm coming from our Call Center up on....(and then I couldn't come up with the address real quickly, so I just pointed in the SE direction.)

Cop: "Have you been drinking?"

I do know this for sure!

Me: "No."

Cop: (Shining his flashlight around my passenger seat & floor, then stopping on my water mug for a second) "Is there any reason that you're not able to stay in your lane?"

Again, I didn't even remember this happening!

Me: (Thinking, Besides the fact that we've got this construction going on which has narrowed & shifted all the lanes. And the lane lines have been painted, then painted over with black paint, then painted again in a new place and you can never tell which lane is which? AND the fact that only a cement barrier is dividing the north & southbound lanes, so when a big Semi comes the other direction and shines it's bright lights through my children's fingerprint-smudged windshield, it is BLINDING? Not to mention there are no street lights in this stretch of freeway? Or it may just be that it's now 2:50 in the morning and I'm sleep deprived!!!) But, instead I just shook my head, "No."

Cop: "OK - Your car's about 8 feet wide and the lane is about 12 feet" (although, I'd bet the "under construction" lanes are NOT that wide, but I did not say anything! Shocker!) "So, try to drive within the lane."

Me: "Alright." (while nodding my head)

And he was gone.

I got home 3:00AM (still not remembering anything the cop had accussed me of) and Matt was asleep.

The next morning he asked me, "What time did you get home? I tried waiting up for you, but I must've fallen asleep!"

Me: "Yeah...I got home a little bit later than normal last night." (End of conversation)

I did tell him about the "forced turn off," but I kept the suspected DUI incident to myself. You see, I have been with him TWICE recently while he was driving and has been pulled over for "Impaired Driving." (He hadn't been drinking, either.) He doesn't like it when I have "corrected" his driving, but he's the one who the cops think drive poorly enough to be an "Impaired Driver," so I've had some fun with that. My fun would end if he were to find out about Friday Night! :) And we wouldn't want that!

(We'll see just how BIG of a FAN he is of me & my, er...uh..."our" blog...if he comes here & reads, he'll get to be privy to the juicy info!) ;)

My Son, the Radio Announcer

I volunteered at the Jr. High yesterday at "Reality Town." I had to be there at 7:30 in the morning and I was so tempted to just roll out of bed and go in my jammies after 3 hrs. of sleep, but I had Ryan's emotional welfare in mind, so I DID get showered, dressed, & ready before appearing at his school.

Reality Town is a program that provides students with a hands-on simulation in which they make lifestyle and budget decisions, as they take on careers, salaries, families and associated responsibilities of the adult world.

Students come to Reality Town dressed up and are given a career and salary based on their current GPA. They are also given a "life scenario" with a family situation and the assignment to pay all the bills of the month. They are expected to live within the means of their monthly income.

At the end of Reality Town, students [are suppose to] reflect on the experience. Did they save or lose money? Is this how they'd really live? How does education correlate with income? This program is a great way to teach students the importance of budgeting, career choices, math skills, check writing, and other hands on skills. (This is not offered at all schools, we are really lucky to have this program at ours.)

I worked at the "car dealership." The students came to me to purchase their car. The types of cars ranged from old Toyota Camrys (Hey! Mine is awesome!) to new Ford Escape Hybrids. We would also "buy back" their car (for a lower price, of course) if later they returned after finding out that they really couldn't afford it (or the insurance.) We also sold bus passes for those who could not afford a car at all.

It was really fun and entertaining.

Does this dude look like a Radio Announcer?
Because that's the "career" Ryan ended up getting. I was surprised to find out that Radio Announcers do not make a ton of money! I didn't know that. I guess I assumed they did since they're kind of celebrities, aren't they? And "famous people" are rich, right?!

Well, lucky for Ryan, his "wife" brought in $2,000/month to add to their income! I was teasing Ryan about his salary...I wondered WHY with his high GPA, he wasn't making much $$$$. (He had to inform the [shocked] people standing around that I was his Mom, so it would explain my interaction with him - good thing I got dressed!) I guess they were given a list of choices within their "college degree" (based on GPA), and Ryan selected a Pharmacist as his first choice, but there was too much demand, so he got his 2nd or 3rd choice - which really interests him. We learned not all jobs are created equal, even with equal education/degrees. So, you have to weigh it out...would you rather make a lot of money doing something you hate OR make less money doing something you love?

Anyway, I encouraged him to do something about improving his salary. So, he went to his "boss" (the school counselor) and pretty much told her that he was "worth more" than what he was making, being on the High Honor Roll and all. The "boss" agreed and approved a $1,000/month raise for him! :) SWEET!!

There was a "donations" booth where all students had to visit and at least make a $10 donation to some charity. I was proud of Ryan that he paid $442.00 in tithing on his own at this booth when a lot of others were trying to get away with just the bare minimum. He was "blessed" since his bank account ended up in the positive still at the end of the month! :)
He saved money by opting for dial-up Internet and only the basic cable package. I disagree with him on this. I'd rather have DSL/high speed Internet over any T.V. channels - hands down!

Here are some other highlights....

• One "30 Yr. old male" had no formal education, so his monthly pay was a little over $1,000. He came to me and wanted to buy a brand new Toyota Tacoma truck. His "life scenario" indicated that they already had one car that was paid for, but was used by his spouse. This purchase cost him $803! He still had to get housing, pay utilities, groceries, health care, taxes, insurance, etc, etc. I just kind of thought to myself, "Good Luck!" Needless, to say, he came back needing to sell his truck later. He wanted to buy the used Honda Odyssey instead. Because of the price depreciation, that'd only get him $166 more back in his bank account. I strongly suggested the bus pass to him (which I know was out of character and is not a regular car salesman practice). He was not thrilled with this option, but that's the REALITY of what he could afford! :)



• Another "30 yr. old male" had some money left over and was thinking about buying another (3rd) car with it. [Off the record, and out of line, again, for a car salesman, I tried to get him to think of other ways to spend his cash] I asked if he'd gone over to the "Personal Care & Grooming" booth yet and got some salon/spa services for his "wife." His exact words were, "I'm not gonna waste my money on her!" To which I replied, "Well, I just figured out where you'll be spending that extra money! Head on over to the "Health Care" booth since you'll be needing some Marriage Therapy!" :)



• One of my female customers was the sole bread winner in her "family." She indicated to me that her husband was "a bum" and made $0. Because of that she was asking for the cheapest car available. I asked her, "Why did you marry a BUM?!?" She said, "I don't know, but I'm SOOO mad at him! We're gonna have a serious conversation out back tonight. And if he doesn't change, I'm gonna kick him right out of our trashy trailer!" :)



• Heard on the scene at Reality Town - "Can we put up some kids for adoption and get some money back? They cost too much!" ;)



• One guy made a ton of money and was single (maybe that's why he had money?). He mentioned everyone always asks him why he wasn't married, yet. I gave him some "motherly advise" and WARNED him against those "gold diggers" out there! :)



• And last, but not least...I've got a fine catch for any of you out there with, say 9-15 yr. old daughters (my own don't fall in that category, so I'm opening it up to the public.) There was THE CUTEST (for an 8th grader) boy who came to the "car dealership" who happened to be an "Attorney" (thanks to his GPA & prudent career choice) so he made plenty of money! His wife also made $500/month at whatever side job she did, but he said that was just hers to go to lunch with her friends, or go shopping, or go on Girls' Night Outs/retreats/trips, etc! He was buying a Mustang - which he realized was not a practical family car, but they already had another car to use for the family - this was for he & his wife to date in! Did I mention he was CUTE?! He also said he bought his wife manicures and they're going on a cruise! His leftover money is just going to be used as a "safety cushion." He was wearing a "Called to Serve" tie, also! Yes, a very FINE boy - er, uh, "30 yr. old man" indeed.

So, stay tuned...you may be hearing Ryan's voice over the air waves in the future (or will there not be radio in the future?) and y'all can say you knew him (or his Mom) when...

Shhh!...Mama's Trying to Sleep

I've got three days down, seven more to go of my "JetBlue School."

+

We're switching over to a new & improved system at JetBlue and every crew member has to go through a 60 hour, on-site training course on it - and I'm attending my session right now.

My class is from 8:00PM - 2:00AM every night/morning.

Now, before you wonder about the inhumane work environment my employer is subjecting me to - there were many class options to choose from with various times/days of the week offered. And I chose this one. Simply because: a) I need to be home with my little ones during the day. b) I want to be able to have dinner together as a family each evening.

I thought that way would be the most normal for everyone else in my family. But, it's not exactly the easiest thing on ME! My body just doesn't appreciate only 3-4 hrs. of sleep/night for some reason! ;)

I have to drive out to the call center which is FAR away (in my mind, at least, especially since walking downstairs to my home office to work has been the extent of my commute for the past 2+ years!) by the Ski Areas turn off near Cottonwood Canyons. So I leave my home a little after 7PM and return a little before 3AM.

It's a little unsettling when I arrive home after driving the 30 or so miles and I don't really remember it all! I DO frequently envision, what it'll be like to slip into my bed, along the drive home.

And then I try to go to bed...

As visions of confirmation numbers dance in my head.

And navigation keys.

And sub-navigation keys.








And "hot keys."

And Price quotes.

And Trip Summaries....

And...And...And....

(That makes me so mad when I dream about what I already lived through and don't want to think about anymore!)

And then Ryan starts practicing the piano at 6:30AM.

And Matt's alarm goes off shortly after in my bedroom.

And then there's Katelyn running down the [hardwood floor] hall (clomp, clomp, clomp), screaming.

So, I get up and emerge from my bedroom. And my family all says to me, "What are you doing up? You're suppose to be sleeping in!" Yeah, right!

I tell myself I'll sleep during the baby's morning nap (I try and I set my alarm so I can pick Katelyn up from Preschool, but I'm paranoid of being a "no-show" parent, so I keep tossing & looking at the clock during my entire "nap!")

I promise myself I'll sleep during the girls' afternoon nap, but when I lay down...I'm such a freak, that my mind just starts thinking about everything I have to do.

Book a hotel.
Use those tomatoes before they go bad & make salsa.
Go through my baby clothes to give to my [nearly delivering] neighbor.
Clean up.
Halloween decorations.
Shower.
Doctor appts.
Laundry.
Unpack from UEA weekend trip.
Paper work.
Post on my blog about why I may "fall off the blogging world bandwagon" for a while. So, don't be alarmed when I don't read & comment on your blogs (and thus, not know anything that's going on "out there") for a while or post much here.

BECAUSE, I'm always thinking about when I can sleep more...kind of reminds me of when I have a newborn. Fantasizing about sleep. Trying to squeeze it in here & there. Craving sleep. It trumps my need for food...

{Baby Brookelle & me, Summer 2008}

But, the new system will be great for JB...I'll just keep telling myself that until my training is all done! (Which won't end at my "graduation" in two weeks. I'll continue to take e-learnings 2 hrs./week until the beginning of the new year when it all rolls out. I better have it down & learned by then!)

Falling Upon Deaf Ears

THIS would've never happened IF....

My child would've listened to me the past 4 years when I told her repeatedly
NOT to slam the sliding glass door closed.

AND

She would've listened to me throughout the entire weekend when I told her repeatedly,
"Leave your sister alone!"

AND

That same child would've listened to me the previous 10 minutes leading up to the accident when I told her repeatedly to
sit down in her chair and stay there & eat her dinner.

**Sometimes I think our parents & grandparents were on to something when they used the paddle (or belt, or wooden spoon, or foot to the butt) to get us to listen AND obey...& as a result "Learn a Lesson!**

2 Nephi 9:31 is TRUE!! She better shape up! :)

I already knew that heads bleed A LOT, but what I didn't know was that little 16-month old fingers that have nearly been sliced off DO, TOO!! :(

ANYWAY, How was your nice, long UEA weekend?