Looking back I can't really believe I survived. I survived entering my 30s and survived primary. I accomplished every thing that I needed to do. Granted there were many tears along the way but I did it. And I keep reflection on that fact.
Heading into 2017 I feel more confident and ready to meet the challenges ahead. However, it does make me a little nervous for the future. Why do I need the skills I'm gaining? What could be ahead?
But an important lesson I learned from this year is that things always seem to work out. I really should stress less and trust more in my Heavenly Father's plan. When I'm doing His work things tend to work out. And if they don't according to my plan, it doesn't mean I failed. It think that is the biggest lesson I learned this year.
My definition of failure changed.
My current screen saver on my phone is one of my favorite pictures of Christ reaching down to Peter through the water and holding His hand out to him...to me. It has a quote on it that says,"Failure is not a problem. Mediocracy is not a problem...complacency is a problem. Indifference is a problem." This came from a book I read by Brad Wilcox. [Yes, Brad Wilcox sent me mail this year!!! Well, he sent my husband but it came to my house.] He sent me [matt] one of his books called, The Continuous Atonement. This book blew me out of the water!! It came during a time that was terrible and it became my life boat. I learned so much about the Atonement and my understanding of failure. I ended up buying his second book, the Continuous Conversion.
What I learned from these books was that as long as I keep trying I haven't failed. I make mistakes and it doesn't deplete from my worth. My worth doesn't change. My potential doesn't change. His love for me doesn't change. And that is what I need to keep perspective about my calling, motherhood, and myself.
I fail when I stop caring that I failed. I fail when I stop trying. I fail only when I stop.
I've never been afraid of hard work, thanks to my dad, so as long as I keep trying it won't be failing. I will be able to learn from my mistakes and move forward. Growing from them and turning them into strengths.
It's what has happened before.
So I just need to keep trying this year. Keep working and keep my head up.
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There also needs to be more balance of my time this year. Less time worrying about clothes/shoes/bags and more time investing in my kids. I used shopping this year to help me deal with my stress. I'm afraid to put out there how many new clothes/shoes/bags I bought. I really like to shop but there are definitely better ways to deal with my stress.
Like practicing the piano, and working on my gospel knowledge, and working on my IG account, Generalconferencememes. In April it will have been alive for a year. And about 400 followers to date. I am personally kind of proud of that. But I'm grateful that it keeps me working on finding good quotes to share with others. There are few people who have made such nice comments on the page and that keeps me going. Maybe, someone seeing the quote that day will have the light that they need for the day. And that means it is all worth it. I won't ever know my influence and there is no way I can measure it. I remember hearing that when you can't do those things to your efforts, it means that they are the ones that matter most.
So here is to a new year full of more adventures, more smiles, more joy, and more trials!!!
Let's go!
