Mostly Moved

So It feels like I have been moving for an eternity.....

I have also found that my roommate and I packed all the Tupperware and I decided to make sure it all matches at the new place.... I found out that not only very little matches but we had an absurd amount of Indian food containers. I trashed the evidence.

I have also patched holes in the wall and people did not take all their shit when they left. I was being nice and offered to drop it off but now am just thinking of trashing it.

Also this navigating being in a relationship with Grasshopper is well, just that. He told me that he feels like we've been together for years.... (I don't see that as a compliment) In my head I'm thinking so you've already started slaking of on the sweet beginning stuff and I've already gotten the best of ya? Ugh

Happy Trails

I am moving, and I hate moving. You know when people move out and think they are doing you a favor by leaving all their crap behind because you "still need it" I hate it. So during my purge I am finding that I own so much stuff and need to throw out more and more...

Also I am having a hard time getting rid shoes... I have too many shoes but I love them

I am almost the point where I throw away things instead of packing them. My new landlords are over protective and were business partners in the past. In fact they insist on installing all the air conditioners and hanging everything on the walls themselves. Sure knock your self out... The ladies are really nice but quite chatty...

Also as a random note, I'm stuck in my dress. I didn't realize how bendy I was until I managed to zip it myself... then realized that I will not be unzipping it my self. So it looks like I'll be doing some moving in seersucker...

Random Postings

So I have nothing really to report that is interesting, because mostly I seem to be in a functioning relationship type thingy...

Also Congratulations to MC Mr. Napkins who according to rumors killed it at the Montreal Comedy Festival

Sadly I must move out of my apt to a new one further away from Soundbites and the Wine Guy... I hate moving but am ready to get out of this dump.

Work Place Manners

So I am out doing sales calls for my new job and I have run into the following poor behavior. People if you treated your clients like this you would have none.

2 No shows
3 Oh I'm not at that locations
1 fist slam and walk out in a bar at 2:30pm

Hey buddy, I think you need to advertise more... you're in a bar at 2:30 pm on a Wednesday. You cannot be that busy. Lay off the Bud-Heavy and Pills and you maybe able to afford a $500 program. As much as I'd like a bar to be my office, I recognize it doesn't quite say professional.

Manners are manners

Airport Sterotypes

I find that every unflattering stereotype becomes true the moment you step into any airport. On the out side you are fine, however when you cross the threshold all goes down society's gutter. Here are my favorites in no particular order: (Yes I am aware this will come across as terribly un PC but I just call it like I see it)

• Middle Americans- scrunchies, fanny packs, comfy track suits. Depending on the airport you see varying levels and regional sports gear. Hey your leaving home to go where ever so why don't you wear all of your local sports gear just so people know where you are from and a tourist. Oh yea STOP BRINGING MACDONALD'S ON THE PLANE. IT SMELLS LIKE HELL. I know the airlines serve no food anymore but please no MacDonald's on the plane. No one need the calories or the smell.
• The Indians- So am in the long long security line and am thinking to myself "shit I'm stuck behind this family of 8 representing 3 generations, there is no way they aren't going to make through on the first pass." Then low and behold we get to the id/ticket check and only one goes through. The rest all get out of the line they have been waiting in for at least 20 minutes say good bye and then watch the one go trough the rest of security. ugh


• The Asians- seem to also travel generationally. However they are usually very quiet and respectful in the terminal and on my flights. They do however tend to travel with large amounts of specialty foods and all their cary-ons in shopping bags. Once this Asian grandmother sat next to me on a flight was alone and spoke no English. I had to show the poor woman how to buckle her seat belt. I also escorted her off the plane to her family.


• The Family with Small Children (my least favorite)- CONGRATULATIONS you reproduced! No we all have to suffer because you are so proud of your brood! Why should your child sit quietly? Why should they not be allowed to touch strangers and their things? Sure your kids age 5 and 6 can throw a temper tantrum in their matching outfits with no repercussions. I understand that babies cannot help it, so lets make sure our children act appropriately on the flights and in the airport. I've been flying cross country since I was an infant. And if my brother and I kicked the front of a seat we would get "the look" from our parents. You are in a public place not your home.


• The Seasoned Traveler- (Me) I am impatient and think that everyone around me is an idiot if they cannot get through security w/o being told to do something. What you don't know you have to take your shoes off? Yes your belt has metal on it take it off. Yes even you have to put all your liquids in a quart sized bag and they must be in bottles of 3oz or less. Fools. I believe in a seasoned traveler lane, no kids, no first timers, and you must have flown in the last 4 months. Oh yea I will give you dirty looks, and sigh loud if you hold up the line. I will also cut in front of you if you seemed to have missed the last 6 announcements and the signs about the rules for the last 15-20 minutes. Seriously I have the airport bar to get to...


• My Grandparents- God Bless them. They are old, slow and very prepared and organized. They show up very early and tend to have family members give them very explicit instructions what to do once they get past security. Find your gate, go to the bathroom, go to your gate and read your book until it is time to board your flight. They are great to sit next to... loaded with snacks and magazines. They also know to stop the small talk once the flight has taken off. Their only major down fall is that they tend to settle into the airplane during the boarding process. First they sit in their seats then unload their travel bags into the seat pockets. My favorite is watching them fold and stack their outerwear into the overhead bin very neatly while the rest of the plane trys to board for an on time departure.

I hope you enjoy the friendly skys as much as I do.

Up Dates ' R' us

This should be pretty brief.

• Cyber Penis- keeps asking me to call him, I'm a lady sorta, you call me. There are hints of a traditional southern gal left! He keeps asking if I am afraid to let him see me naked. And my response is I don't want to see you naked as I'm not interested in FWB. I already got that shit on call... why take on a new FWB when you don't know their performance record?
• Date Talk- So MC Mr. Napkins, an AMAZING rapping comic, turned down a hosting job on a new Dating Podcast called Date-Talk but still keeps in touch with the producer; the producer called Napkins asking if he could fill some space with an online dating story and he forwarded her to me. Seriously I could run the show with all my online dating stories, ahhh the memories.... So I will keep you updated when it will air.. the show is very cheese while trying to be edgy.
• Personal Hell- So i had to go into a Babies'R'Us to get my dear friend a baby shower gift. I hated every moment of being inside that babies mama/daddy nightmare. I was convinced that I would get pregnant just by being in there. Not to mention the children running about was about to dry me up permanently. While holding the 6 pages of the registry, i started to only purchase the items that were ass or nipple related as i found it funny. Butt paste and nipple covers galore! Shame on me for not planning ahead and ordering everything on line...... Welcome to the world Nugget, Auntie MBandit will have you running a muck in no time

G is for Georgia

Just when I was about to throw in the towel and let "G" stand for Girl, my hot-lanta lova calls. I haven't spoken to my Georgian fling in over a month and wrote him off as a good time. Part of mbandit liked him more than usual. It could be argued it was because I couldn't live physically further away if he tried. We make tentative plans to see each other over the summer, I like these plans because they are full of hope and optimism of things to come. We both pretend that they may actually pan out but know it is very unlikely they will... Kinda like when you fantasize what you will do when you win the lottery, either way its fun.