How am I supposed to relax?

I know the best thing to make this FET work is to relax (mainly the day of the transfer) but all I can do is think about it and the possibility of it not working. I know the patches are doing their job because the CM has been ridiculous (sorry if TMI).

Lining check Tuesday.
Have an appointment for pre/post acupuncture on Friday.
Starting POM & bromelin tomorrow to help with implantation (don't care if it is a wive's tale).

Last alcoholic drink tonight (margarita at dinner)

:::NERVOUS::::

Sign??

A few posts ago I talked about feeling bad about possibly not being able to go to Vegas if I'm pregnant. Today, one of the girls called me and said that nobody could go that weekend because it's the golf fundraiser for our husbands' football team (they all coach high school FB) and we all have to work the tourney (wives included).

Hmm, maybe it's a sign that this might work?

In other hopefully news a girl on the IF board who froze her embies the same stage we did and transferred 3 just got a + HPT.

I upped my patches to two last night and am so excited for my lining check on Tuesday (besides the dildo cam)...I can't believe in a little more than a week I could be having my FET.

All is well

I'm getting ready to change my patch again tonight and then Tuesday I start upping the amount of patches I'm wearing. My u/s is scheduled for March 2nd with a tentative transfer on Friday March 5th.

I have to admit, I've already been on the website to figure out my due date if this works (Nov. 23, 2010). I didn't realize I wanted this so bad until I find myself looking at baby and maternity things...Please God let this work.

Change of Plans

I went to see the RE today and got all my questions answered.

How many embryos will we thaw?
this is something DH and I will need to decide but I think we'll thaw all 4, RE is willing to transfer 3 based on my quality history

How are they frozen? (groups of 2?)
2, 1, 1

We will refreeze any we don’t use?
Don't think this is applicable but we can

What is the thaw rate for the stage we froze (day 1)?
same as day 3 or 5

Once they thaw do we wait for them to grow or just transfer at that stage?
Wait 2 days (3DT)

Is the success rate for embryos frozen on day 1 better than day 3 or 5?
Same

How many days will I be on estrogen patches?
7-14 depending on lining

How many times do I need to come in for lining/b/w?
b/w probably only once and same for u/s

After the patches and my lining looks good, when will the FET take place?
the next week

Do you require bed rest after FET? If so, how long?
take it easy for first 24 hours (won't be a problem because it will take place on a Friday)

What is my percentage of getting pregnant?
About 30%, possible more if we transfer more than two

Now here's the kicker...I am starting my patches TONIGHT instead of waiting until next month!! I am CD2 and that will put my FET on 3/5 as long as my lining looks OK.

SO EXCITED!!

She's Here!!

AF is here...finally!
Thank you for all the vibes.
I've been having teasers since Saturday but she is really here today.
My appointment with RE is Wednesday (OMG, that's tomorrow).
They have received the letter from my oncologist.

Approximately one month from today I will be starting estrogen patches for FET!
On estrogen patches for 7-14 days, depending on lining, then transfer.
SO if my calculations are correct, FET should be end of March, maybe beginning of April, depending on good ol' AF again.

Vegas...maybe

So before I decided to do a FET I have been planning a girls' trip to Vegas the first weekend in June. There about 8 of us that are planning to go. We have yet to buy our airfare or book hotels. Tonight I saw one of the ladies that I plan to go with and she was talking about how she wanted to book her airfare soon. I feel bad that I am keeping from her that I might be pregnant then and won't want to go if I cant drink. I don't want to tell anyone though we're doing this FET because if it doesn't work then I will go on the trip and drink my ass off ;) There are enough people going and everyone knows each other so it won't be a big deal if they all book everything and then I can't go but I just feel like I'm keeping such a secret. I told the lady tonight that I might not have money to buy my plane tickets until April (aka know if I'm pregnant or not). When we get home from Vegas I am going to Cozumel the next week so if this FET doesn't work I will definitely have plenty of opportunity to drink away my sorrows.

Quick Update

Just wanted to give you a quick update:

I had my annual and pap yesterday (oh so fun) because that's required before doing a FET. I had a new OB and she was really great. She said I had a beautiful cervix (weird thing to tell someone I think) and that my cervix is posterior which means it is set back toward my butt more than a "normal" uterus...whatever. I also had her check my FSH level just for the hell of it. If you recall in the midst of my menopause from chemo my FSH was 79.9!!! Today, it is 6, that's right 6. That's the best it's ever been...how weird.

Next week I meet with the radiation oncologist to see if I am going to have to do radiation, but I don't want to. I am still waiting for this month's AF to show up so I can get a better idea of when the FET will be next month but so far...nothing.

Send some AF vibes my way please-she should be here any day now according to last month.

Next Wed. I have a meeting with the RE about how many embies to thaw/transfer.

Beautiful Blogger Award

Thank you Fran for the nomination.

Here's what I have to do:

* Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
* Copy the award and paste it to your blog.

* Tell us 7 interesting facts about yourself!

1. I love to watch the washing machine wash (weird, I know).
2. I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom.
3. Sometimes I really wonder if I can teach for another 20 years.
4. I am not afraid of dying.
5. I love Britney Spears.
6. It's a little scary to open myself up so much and not know who's reading my blog.
7. I am already planning on my FET working (jinxing myself??)


And finally:

* Nominate 3 bloggers that you love and link to their blog (I changed it from 7).

Bella: Bella & Her Fella
A: Waiting for Baby
Lindsey: My IVF Reality

Furbaby Expansion

Today we added to our furbabies...this is Zoey a nine week old lab mix. She joins our Boston Terrier and our cat.

Selfish?

I am starting to think, is is selfish for me to want a baby? Gosh, I want to be a mother so bad, but is it fair? Is it fair to have a baby knowing full well that I probably won't be alive to see it graduate from high school or get married? I want more than anything to have a baby with my husband but do I want either my husband or child (children) to have to go through the pain of losing a wife/mother? What if my child inherits my cancer? I can't live with myself if that's the case.

I've asked my DH and he assures me that no matter what, he wants a baby with me, even if that means that he has to raise it (them) on his own (with the help of our parents of course). I know that's a hard thing for a lot to digest, but it's something very realistic that we've had to talk about and digest.

I have to assume that if God does not want me to have a baby, he will not allow these frozen embies to implant. For now, my oncologist has emailed my RE and decided that I am OK to have a baby!!!

Come out, Come out, wherever you are...

I notice my number of visitors on this blog and am amazed, yet I don't get many comments. Please, if only this one time, comment and tell me who you are, where you're from, and how you found my blog.

Can't wait to hear from you!!