Happy Birthday Precious Samuel!

Our precious Sam,

It is hard to believe you are three years old today!  It seems like only yesterday you came into this world, a tiny 7 pound, 7 ounce miracle.  I spent 15 hours in labor with you, and though I waited excitedly in anticipation to hold you for the first time and stare at your bright blue eyes, nothing could prepare me for the overwhelming joy that I felt when you were first placed in my arms.  I remember you were still a little discolored from the umbilical cord being wrapped around your neck in the womb, but I didn't see any of that.  All I saw was a perfect baby boy, fresh from heaven.  You had the brightest blue eyes and there was an instant bond between the two of us as I held you the first few minutes of your life.

I look at you now and am in awe of the little boy that you are becoming.  You are quite independent, will not be swayed by any amount of encouragement, especially when it comes to eating your dinner.  You little boy, have a mind of your own and I know that God will use that for His glory as you grow older.  Your favorite word these days is no, but even when you have your grumpiest face pasted on, if we imitate that furrowed brow, your one adorable dimple breaks through on your right cheek and laughter usually follows.  You love life!  You love your brothers and your favorite thing is greeting your baby Eli in the morning when he wakes up.  You look up to your older brother and want to play with him whenever he agrees to it, which is most of the time.  The two of you are best friends and the way you chatter in the evening as you lay in bed melts my heart.  You love music and I love it when you combine the songs Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves the Little Children.  You are also such a coordinated little guy!  You love to play ball and lately your favorite game is playing catch with Daddy or Mommy, along with Jacob.  You love to do somersaults and jump off the couch, even though you aren't supposed to.  You absolutely adore sweets, and I think you get that from your momma!  You could care less what exciting toys or trinkets are in your Christmas stocking or Easter basket, but if there is candy, you want to dig in and enjoy!  I love this about you!  Just this morning I woke up to you and your brother sneaking  the cupcake cones I made for you last night.  You are an artist and even as a young two-year-old, could hold a pencil the correct way without ever being taught.

Samuel Reif, you are such a blessing to Mommy and Daddy, as well as your brothers and the rest of our family.  You have such an animated personality and such a sweet precious heart.  Our family would never be complete without you in it.  Even though you are the middle child, you are such a special piece to our family puzzle.  You light up our lives and bring us such joy!  You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, your Creator and we will spend forever thanking him for bringing you into our lives.  Praying that today would be a special day for you as we celebrate your sweet life that lights up the faces of those who know and love you.  Happy 3rd Birthday sweet angel!  We love you!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Jake, and Baby Eli

A Beautiful Occasion

This weekend Bryan and I had the honor of attending the wedding of a very special couple.  It could not have been more beautiful!  Perfect spring weather set in the middle of a breathtaking garden, a stunning bride, a sharp looking groom, committing their lives to one another in the presence of our incredible Lord.  This couple happens to be quite special to us both as our relationship began in our living room as we discussed the importance of marriage and what that means.  No marriage is ever easy.  There are seasons of happiness and seasons of pain, but with God as the center and lots of hard work, there is much fruit and true joy!

Love this picture of them!

I am the emotional type... I cry during commercials, movies, most every time I read a card, during the birth of my babies especially, and most definitely during weddings.  This wedding was no exception.  I have such a precious friendship with the bride, Ren, and have watched her grow into the most incredible woman of God.  I have also watched her relationship with her husband, Micah, strengthen and grow as they have both centered it on the Lord.  The four of us have sat around our living room discussing everything from finances to conflict resolution and as I sat there watching them commit their lives to one another, memories flooded my head and I lost it.

I also had the chance to sit and reflect on my own marriage and how Bryan and I have been together for 13 years this coming July!!!  Where has the time gone?!  I sat and remembered back to our own wedding day and all the special memories shared that hot July afternoon.  I sat listening to the scriptures read from Micah's uncle, specifically the love chapter from 1 Corinthians 13, and got lost reminiscing.  Love is patient, love is kind... love is not self seeking... it always protects, perseveres... love NEVER fails.  God gave us such a clear picture of what His love looks like.  He never said it would be easy, He never said it would be without problems.  But the rewards are so much greater if we can only remember what love means.  It is a choice, it is not a feeling.  Bryan and I have had seasons of elation, seasons of irritation, and even seasons where we wondered how we would make it.  But God got us through, and we are in such a wonderful place right now, full of love and respect for one another.  We definitely have those days where we argue and get frustrated, but we are soaking up the rewards of our relationship.  As I sat at this couple's wedding, I thought about all these things and the tears continued to flow.  I think the girl sitting next to me thought I was crazy!  :-)

I think my favorite part of the ceremony was hearing the vows that Micah and Ren shared with one another.  They wrote their own, which I think is so special.  I loved watching their facial expressions as they listened to the other persons, completely overwhelmed (sometimes with tears) with it all.

The reception was incredible and Bryan could not stop talking about the beef with the horseradish cream sauce and the giant plates!  It was fun watching him enjoy himself.  There were toasts, more tears, cake cutting, frosting in faces (thankfully the groom didn't go over the top with that one!), dancing, laughter, and joy.

She got him pretty good!

                                               
 
I just love weddings!  I love what they symbolize, love that they mark the most special day in a couple's life, and love the memories!  I'm so thankful for my own marriage and for the solid bond that Bryan and I share. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for the rest of our years with one another as we watch our three boys grow and marry and have families of their own.  So that was our weekend and it was a busy one, but filled with so much fun and joy, as well as so many special memories.  Cheers to all the married couples out there!  Even in the midst of the impossible, God can do all things, yet without Him, nothing is possible.  Congrats Micah and Rennie!  Love you!

Forever and ever...

The Best Kind of Surprises

I have always loved surprises!  Like the time when Bryan and I were dating and he sang to me in front of our entire high school, asking me to Homecoming.  Or this last birthday when he secretly took the entire day off work and arranged a day filled with time for the two of us.  Best birthday ever!  I love to get unexpected cards in the mail, a twenty dollar bill in my jacket pocket that I had forgotten all about, and even a gorgeous rainbow after a spring morning rain shower.  Surprises are the best! 

I also love the kind of surprises that God brings... like yesterday for example.  I was having quite a day.  The kind of day where I blew up at my children, had zero patience, and everything continued to go wrong from spilled milk on the car seat to dumped soil all over my kitchen floor.  (In all fairness, Sam was trying to help clean up.)  I was done with the day and then surprise!  God blessed me with a park date with two very special women.  We sat and watched our kids play and chatted about school, parenting, and lots of things.  I went home so refreshed and remember being so thankful for the unexpected blessing that God brought with those ladies.  To top it off, last night I met with a very special friend of mine to just talk and do some work on her upcoming wedding.  She is one of those surprises that God planted smack in the middle of my life when I least expected it and under circumstances that wouldn't normally result in a friendship.  But God blessed me greatly with this friendship and it has been the kind of surprise that has blessed me immeasurably.

God is constantly full of those extra blessings that make me smile and fill me with joy!  I love the way He works!  An unexpected text or call from someone special when I need it most, overhearing a sweet prayer by one of my little boys, an uninterrupted grocery shopping trip while Bryan watches the kids, flowers just because, watching Jacob spell words with his bathtub letters for the first time, and people that God puts in my life for different purposes, but that bless my heart to the maximum capacity. I think the best surprises of all though, are the ones that God creates through difficult times.  They are never pleasant to go through, but after some time, God creates beauty through them and uses them to mold us to be more like Him.  I have been thinking alot about this during this Easter week.  God didn't enjoy watching His only son suffer on the cross for us, but what came from it is the best surprise of all... the opportunity for us to live a life with Christ as our personal savior not just in this life, but for all eternity.

A Day in the Life of Exhaustion

5:15 seems much too early to wake up, especially considering the fact that I am not a morning person.  My oldest, Jakey, rises before the sun many days and is ready for the day.  Thankfully, we have taught him how to turn on the cartoons and he is pretty good about lying on the couch quietly for at least the first hour of waking up.  I normally get up too and stumble to the kitchen making my vanilla chai.  Yesterday I had two cups and still, the exhaustion was overwhelming.  I sat and thought about crawling back in bed and letting the family care for themselves for the day, which obviously, was not a possibility.  I prayed for God to give me the strength for the day.  He gently reassured me that though being a mom is far from an exhausting job, it had many more rewards than even I could fathom.

As the day unfolded, so did the noise, the dipaers needing to be changed, the meals that needed to be made, the phone calls, the spills, the childish squabbles that needed a referee, which by the way... do moms out there ever feel more like a referee than a mother?  The endless dishes, the giant to-do list on my kitchen counter, the errands that would probably not be accomplished for the day, and lets not forget about the laundry!  If you know me at all, you know I am not a fan of laundry.  As I was on the phone with our mortgage company in the morning, I could hear my one-year-old crying from his crib in the next room.  I could also hear my other two fighting over trains downstairs.  I think it was at that point that I wished I had a different job.  Going back to my previous life as a kindergarten teacher was sounding quite appealing at that particular point in the morning.  I began to feel overwhelmed as the anxiety set into my stomach, thinking about the fact that there was no one else to do this "job".  I have an incredible husband who helps more than I imagined, but still... I am the bottom line.  No one else on earth is as responsible for these three boys as I am. 

The day went on and my exhaustion grew more intense and I remember counting down the minutes to naptime.  If moms are honest, they will admit that there are days we live for naptime.  An opportunity to hear nothing but the running water from the electric cat water dish while sitting in the kitchen reading.  Some days I get lots accomplished during naptime, but yesterday I would relish in the peace.  As I thought more about the day and began to feel guilty for wishing my office wasn't my home, I realized it was okay to feel that way from time to time.  Because even though there were definitely days I felt this way, ultimately in my heart I wouldn't trade anything in the world for a life of being a stay-at-home mom.  The many moments of refereeing allowed me to teach my boys how to use kind and loving words when speaking to each other.  I have the opportunity of a lifetime, watching my boys grow and learn more about the Lord and all the many life lessons that come up each day.  As I sat in the quiet thinking about my role as a mother, I felt comforted knowing that God sees all that I do and appreciates it.  My boys don't thank me for changing their diapers or cleaning up spilled milk, they don't thank me for getting up 25 times during a meal to assist with feeding, getting another cup of water, or teaching them how to hold a fork to eat with instead of using it as a drum stick.  But God sees every single detail of what I do.  He sees every diaper I change, every meal I make, every tear I wipe away, every boo boo I kiss, every load of laundry I do (Wow that is a lot of laundry!) ... He appreciates it and loves me for it.  In the midst of the overwhelming and exhausting moments, He is watching and cares.  That brings me more comfort than anything else and even brings me joy!

Psalm 94:19 -- "When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."  

Blessings

It is often that I get caught up in the one tiny thing that is going wrong in the midst of my day.  Why is that?  Why do I focus on the messy kitchen or the fact that it is noon and I haven't had a shower yet, the fact that I have endless loads of laundry, the water spotted mirror that I just cleaned?  Why do these thoughts consume my time when there is so much more that God wants me to see?  Like the evidence of tiny precious children living in my house, fingerprints on the mirrors, toy trains strewn all over the living room, cookie crumbs under the itty bitty chairs in the kitchen, or the sound of contagious laughter coming from the bedroom upstairs when they are supposed to be sound asleep...  Or the burst of sunshine streaming through my kitchen window as I sit and enjoy a cup of afternoon vanilla chai tea, the strong embrace from my sweet husband, or the precious email from a friend that I received earlier that day...

There are blessings all around me.  I remember the drive home from LA when the family was visiting Bryan's aunt Karen the other day.  My father-in-law was sitting in the front seat and the two of them were chattering away about the day's events as my two youngest boys sat in the seats directly behind.  Eli was sound asleep and Sam was watching the movie on the portable dvd player.  I was sitting in the seat next to Jacob trying to enjoy some worship music on my ipod.  Jacob tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could listen to the music too.  I took out one of my earphones and handed it to him.  We were listening to I Surrender by Kim Walker and he began to glow.  He said, "Mommy, this is beautiful music!"  A second later I watched as he reached down and lifted his shirt and then took the earphone and put it on his chest.  He said, "I am going to put this on my heart because I think Jesus would really like this music too."  All the thoughts about how hungry I was and how I had so many to-do list items instantly vanished as I sat with my mouth wide open.  My big five-year-old boy blessed my whole week with such a profound thought.  These are the moments I live for.  The blessings, the gifts that only God can provide.  The sound of my youngest babe babbling in his crib, the precious prayers prayed before bedtime, the gift of a night out as my husband watches the little ones... It's easy to get caught up and focused on the little frustrations that seap into our days, but there are so many more things to thank God and focus on. 

What if I started my day praising God for all the blessings and ended my day thanking Him for the many that I never expected?  What if I had a journal of all the blessings that filled my life?  I think my prayer for this blog is just that... to allow God to remind me of the blessings, the joys, and the little things that are so evident around me.  "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8.  Whatever is lovely, excellent, worthy of praise... there are so many things, so many blessings!